Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #243: Inner Child Wounds Still Surfacing

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Episode #243: Inner Child Wounds Still Surfacing · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, welcome to tea Time with Amy and Beth.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Good day, Hello, Hello, how are you.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I'm good, doing well, had interesting some interesting things happening.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: One thing that came up for me. So I'm just
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: gonna dive right in. Is I so for the audience
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: that doesn't know. I have a full time job and
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: being triggered emotionally triggered at work, getting caught up in
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: the frustration, the irritation and feeling out of control right
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: because other people are supposed to do things that they
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: don't do and now you're just like and then that
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: affects your job. And and so just feeling that out
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: of control piece and having the opportunity to sit with
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: it and ask what's really going on right, the deeper question,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: what's really going on with you? Meaning me, this isn't
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: my internal conversation, what's really going on with you? Here?
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: And I had.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Over a couple of days where something happened and it
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: kind of triggered me, and then something else happened, and
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: so it was cost it was starting to compound on
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: each other. And when I sat with it and said okay,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: because I was getting irritable and frustrated, I was starting
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: to feel the feels right, and it was like, oh,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: and when I sat and thought, what's really going on
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: here with all of these things that are happening, it
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: was feeling rejected, feeling out of control, feeling like I'm
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: not going to get it right, therefore I'm not good enough.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: So all these little pieces of history started coming up
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: coming to the surface. And once I took that time
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: to process what I was actually feeling in me, in
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: my body, in my mentally right, my mental my mindset,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, are you really being rejected? So
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: there was there was a there was a thing where
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: I asked people to fill out a form and this
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: one lady came up to me and she's like, I
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: don't think I need to feel this. Like she could
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: have just put it to the side and just not
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: done it. It could have been that simple. There didn't
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: need to be a conversation about it or anything. But
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: she had to come up to me and tell me
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: and explain to me why she didn't feel like she
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: needed to fill this out. Blah blah blah blah blah.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: And it was something that I was very passionate about
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: and excited about doing and having people fill this form
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: out and I took it personal, and that was one
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: of the things, and that was what was equating to rejection.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: I was being rejected. And then when I sat with
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: that and said, Okay, was I really being rejected? The
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: answer is no. And is it her choice to fill
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: out that form or not? The answer is yes, it
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: completely her choice. And once I talked myself through all
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: of that, then it was like, Okay, I'm good. So
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: it's just simple things like that. They may not seem
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: like it may not seem like a big deal, but
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: my history is a feeling of rejected rejection for the
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: audience purposes. When my mom found out she was pregnant,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: my biological father left and so that was the beginning
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: of my rejection and abandonment. And so there's still these
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: nuances of that that still come to the surface. But
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: the more I recognize it and acknowledgment acknowledge it, the
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: less that happens. The less I take things that personal,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: the less I allow experiences like that to bother me.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: And sometimes I like to think that sometimes the universe
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: just drops a little thing in there as a little
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: test to say, how you doing today with rejection? And
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: I'm like, listen, universe, I didn't need that, so I
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: like to be playful with it as well.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: And and.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Is it true that universe is testing me? No, I
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: don't think it's true. But to play with it, to
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: be playful with it, it's a way to make it
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: a little lighter. And I'll just say, you know what,
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: I did way better than I would have in the past,
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: but it still bothered me. And I recognize that, and
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: I can do something about it, and I will. I
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: will have the intention of doing better with it next
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: time because it will show up again, and each time
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: it's just an opportunity to practice and get better. But again,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: had it been twenty years ago, I'd have been pissed,
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: like no to like the world was ending over this
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: form that somebody didn't want to fill out. So it
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: took me just a short amount of time to process.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: It's good. Moving on the rest of the day was great.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: So there's that nice.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: It's just just like the inner child just needed to
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: be acknowledged. Really, you think about when you think about
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: one of these things, and we get so bothered by
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: that stuff, right, so we can be we can get
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: so bothered by that stuff, like and you were already
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: over this crad We've already dealt with this stuff. But
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: it just comes to the surface, you know, it comes
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: to the surface because now it's time. You know, if
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: it's not through our closest people that we have closest
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: to us, it could be at work, it could be
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: at home. But if it's not being expressed or then
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: the universe. I don't know that it's so much of
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: a test besides the universe, like shining a flashlight, because
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: you just said you don't think it's a test, and
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: I don't think so either. But it's like, oh, there's
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: a trigger right there. The flashlight just hit that, hit
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: that right there, and it's like, would you see that
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: little glimmer? And it's that's all it is, is just something.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: It's a little glimmer that wants to shine a little
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: bit brighter. But the only way we can do that
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: is by clearing away some of the the guck.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and the button wasn't this big now right? It
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: is like maybe this big or.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Is it was?
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: It's getting smaller smaller, So there's that. That's good news.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: I like it. I like it.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: It's a little pat on the back for me. I
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: felt like I did pretty well. I could have done better,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: but I did. Like we say, right, we handle things
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: with the information and knowledge and wisdom that we have,
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: and do I have the wisdom absolutely, But when that
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: when those when those layers of have your emotion are
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: still in there, this is an opportunity for them to
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: come up and be just it's a it's a chick
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: in with the self, really not I don't have anything. Well,
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: the universe is going to align me with the people
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: who are going to help me bring those things to
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: the surface to continue to heal and clear the guck,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: the mud, the heaviness. And I am once I of course,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: once I process through it, I appreciate the fact that
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: it happened and that was one more thing that I
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: get to get better at, which is.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: Nice to me. It's just another thing and that's more
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: of that heavy burden off the shoulders.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so there's that.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: It's exciting. I know, I just don't. I mean, I
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: think we encounter these things a lot these days, and
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: it's like it's like you said, it's an opportunity and
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: we have a choice. We don't have to stay in
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: those places because I've gone I've gone into the places too,
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: and it's like it's right around the holiday season, so
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: it's back to that same old feeling of not getting enough,
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: or not doing enough, or not being able to or
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: all these other these stories. And it's like every time
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: they start presenting themselves, I'm like, Okay, Universe, I don't know.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: I see this stuff as coming to the surface, and
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: I don't know exactly what to do with it. Help
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: me to be able to move beyond this, because I
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: don't like the way it feels. It's my simple request
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: to them. It's like I don't like the way things
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: these things fill. I think that we should be able
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: to be here in a happy state of mind and peace.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: But it's like I only know what I've ever learned
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: in the tools that I have. And it's so they're
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: slowly giving me different stuff, Like they'll tell me to
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: observe something this has came up since last week, like observed,
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: but I'm not to have just observe everybody around me,
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: because everybody around you is there for that purpose of
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: mirroring something to you that we have, something like you
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: just went through this introspection because of something that happened
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: outside of you, because it made you have these emotional
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: these fills inside, and it made you ask questions and
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: look at things a little bit differently. And that's what
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: I've been doing too, recognizing where there's codependency, recognizing you know,
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: on a behaving And I'll catch myself like watching myself
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: as a third party, and I'm like, Oh, you're acting
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: like that because you want some attention. You're trying to
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: do something because you want it. You're not being I
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: don't feel like you're being seen. Okay, you need to
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: see yourself. Well, I don't know. How do I see myself?
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: How can I see myself more? How can I unconditionally
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: fall in love with myself? And really that's a lot
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: of the stuff for me that's on the outside right
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: now that's reflecting back to me because it's too unconditionally
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: love this person that's not just the body, because this
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: is just the vessel I'm traveling in. But to love me,
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: to love be enough to allow me to be the
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: party instead of the chameleon, to come forward that knows
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: that can blend with anything. You know, I can blend
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: in any department or any environment or any whatever I can.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: Doesn't mean that I want to and as my granddaughter says,
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: these days, I wi't. I wish you will not, but
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: she will. I won't have to bellow it.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I will.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: I love it too, because sometimes she says that, and
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: then my daughter says, I don't even correct her because
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: I just love it. I said me too, because I said,
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: I say the same thing, I'll say I will't.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: And then you know, you can just feel that childlike
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: me even come out when you say it like that too.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: I love it exactly. And that's that's that's the stuff
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: we miss out on, right. It's having faith. It's having
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: faith that things are. I'm listening to the book auto
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: biography of Ah. Why am I screwing this up so much?
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I can't even remember his name now, Okay,
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: it's an autobiography of this book of this amazing person.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: And I'm learning all. I'm learning all all about this information.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: It'll come to me and then I'll mention it. But
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: it's just talking about how just appreciating things and having faith.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: It is not. It has not been an easy journey
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: for me to have faith. It has not. And that
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: makes me feel emotional a bit, because it's like you,
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: we we have these practices that we go through and
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: we have these understandings and and and sometimes you can
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: have such clarity and such no in those moments that
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: you're unshakable and this is the way things are. I
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: know it because you know it. And then there's those
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: other times that we feel off kilter, off balance, we're
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: not receiving what seems to be like that direct connection.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: But it didn't just happen like boom like that. It
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: happened as a progression of things, maybe not eating, not drinking,
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: not giving self enough time, whatever it is. But it's
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: it's taking the time to notice that you're doing those things,
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: and it's noticing that I wasn't. I haven't been having faith.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: And in the book it talks about him this gentleman
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: he's going to his brother says, well, if you do this,
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: then i'll have you like it's not a baptismal because
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: it's not even that type of religion at all, but
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: i'll follow I'll use you could be my guru basically
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: or whatever. And his brother says, I'm going to send
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: you into the middle of town. You guys are not
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: going to have any money yours can't you're not allowed
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: to ask for food. You're not allowed of panhandle, you're
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: not allowed to do any of these things. And you
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: got to go and know it and have faith. And
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: he says, I do I have faith and no, and
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: he says, okay, but you guys can't skip a mill either.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: So the food has to be presented to you and
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: you have to be able to go around the city
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: and see all this stuff and it has to be
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: done all this way. And it's like that it shows
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: how he's having faith, but his friend's not having faith
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: that's with him that this is going to happen, and
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: he's like, oh, doubting Thomas. He calls him a doubting
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Thomas because he's not believing. Just wait and see. And
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: by the end of it, he was shown so many
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: times that how the universe, how God showed up for
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: him every single time, and his relationship is to be
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: with God. And it's like we get still sidetracked with
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: everything in life. I'm not going to turn into a
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: nut or anything like that. But I but I but
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: our but our vision is so focused on such shallow
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: things sometimes because we're here in this perspective and this
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: human experience, and that's where I would say, sometimes it
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: feels like it's shallow. I mean, I have I would
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: I want a certain vehicle and that, you know, there's
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: certain things that I want, but it's really not necessary.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: What really I want is to have that unconditional love
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: for self and that bond with God, even though it's
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: always been there, but we don't have an awareness of
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: that because we've been kept so separate. We've been kept
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: so separate with I, with me, with you know, it's
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: it's all We've been kept so separate from all these things,
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: and it's always been there, but we've got these duality
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: ideas in our mind about how we think thities should
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: go down. And of course it's if it's not going
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: to go down. If you know how many I've said, well,
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: if this dog comes back and this dog doesn't come back,
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm just not going or I'm not doing whatever.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: And it's like it's played out the bat the way
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: that I said that I didn't want it to because
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: I had so much energy going to it, and it's
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: just remembering to have the faith and know everything's going
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: to work out just fine. Really everything is just fine,
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: But I got to have the faith in it and
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: quit trying to control things. So it's like, Okay, now
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: I'm asking how can I surrender more? How can I
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: surrender more? What does that look like? All I know
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: is my experiences I've had now, so I keep asking
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: how these things can happen? How can I move or
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: how can I evolve? How can I see this differently?
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: It's all it's all the time, and then you get
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: thrown into the mix of pretty it's a pretty fluffy schedule.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: It's very very fulfilling, as you have said, but it's
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: like there's a there's not a big amount of time
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: for that stop and slow down and breathe and stuff
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: like that always and then, like you said, if someone
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: isn't performing up to their responsibilities or what they had
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: said they would do, or whatever happened in that situation,
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: it's it's like it's it's okay, it's okay. Well, then
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: it's interesting, let's see how this is really going to
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: show up for us. But we get we get so
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: wound up with everything because you're being bombarded by the holidays.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Right now, we have had just went through a full moon.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: There's you know, we've got all these people that are
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: present around us, there's the energy. Sometimes can feel pretty
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: crazy in town. I'll tell you, living outside of town
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: and you come into town, it's kind of it kind
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: of can be chaotic if you want. If you're driving
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: down the street, you might notice people are driving crazy.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: Like I mean, I have seen some crazy things lately
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: and I was like, totally crap. And it's like, because
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: that's the space they're in, that's the space of the
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: energy they're in. And we've got our own guidance to say, hey,
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: maybe you might want to get over to the other lane,
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: or hey, slow down for a minute, pay attention to
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: this whatever turn right right now, you know what I mean.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: It's just it's all these things. We've got, all this
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: amazing guidance, and it's good because we're having this conversation
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: that it reminds me that I have this amazing guidance
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: and I have to it's just stepping back into that
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: faith and knowing that everything's going to be fine. But me,
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to orchestrate everything or trying to control things,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: even though I think I'm better, Like right, I'm at
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: the front of the class and like listen to people
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: I used to be, but I still have some tendencies
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: of wanting to control things, and it's it's ridiculous. And
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: then when we think about it, when we start thinking
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: about all this control, we start getting frustrated, irritated because
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: now it feels like there's so much of a burden
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: on us, so much of a heavyweight, so much responsibility.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: And then it's like then you think, oh, then I
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: gotta do this and this and this, and I gotta
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: when this and this and this all starts to popping
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: up in my head, I gotta be like, take a breath.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: That's the only thing I can do. Lately, I've caught
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: myself getting to the anxiety moment. I'm like, nope, take
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: a breath, because I can feel it. And and there's
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: a lot of environmental stuff going on for sure, for sure.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And along those lines, we had we at work.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: We're going through some transitions, trying to streamline some stuff,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: getting some automation, uh emails, set up, just a lot
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: that we're trying to get done as we go into
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: the first of the year. And we had a coworker
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: give her notice and again I was like, okay, talking
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: to myself, Okay, we can go into panic mode and
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: freak out and think about all the things that have
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: to be done and all the things that's going to
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: get put on your plate. And right in history in
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: the past, that's where I would have went. I would
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: have went straight there. I would again very upset and
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: distraught and worried and all the things. But I was like, Okay,
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: this is where we're at for now. We're gonna make
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: it through. It's temporary, it's not a it's not a forever.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: It's a temporary thing. And I know there's somebody there
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: out there to fill the position. So I just held that.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: I remained very calm about it and just kept projecting
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: there's somebody there for this position, and it's okay, and
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: it's going to work out, and we're going to get
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: things done, and just really staying on that path of
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: what I was saying to myself the next day. The
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: next day, after the coworker gave her notice, I asked
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: my boss, I said, do you know of anybody who
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: might be a good fit to fill that position? And
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: she goes, I sure do, and I've already called her.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: I was like, great, And on Friday, she's supposed to
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: come in and talk to us, so and she has
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: the skills that are needed. She's the manager of a store.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: She's from my understanding, is owned her own business. So
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: like she has business, she's business savvy to be able
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: to connect with our with you know, with the with
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: the with where I work, and with our clients and stuff.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: And so I just like you said, faith and having
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: and holding the faith that the debts that I have
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: will be paid in full in a short amount of time.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: And and the more I hold that, the more abundance
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: of prosperity flows in. So yeah it. Faith is is
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: an interesting thing when you have been living in survival
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: mode for your entire life, And that would be me right,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: and I know bev too, living from a survival mode
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: where independence I can only trust, I can only trust myself,
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: I can only depend on myself. I have to prove
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: that I can do everything myself. I don't need anybody
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: else is help And it's just that constant trying to
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: prove your worthiness and that you are good enough for
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: whatever fill in the blank. And you can't trust anybody
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: else because they hurt you, They wound you, they put
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: you down, they beat you, they yell at you. You
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: get sent and put on restriction puts into your room
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: all the things, and to change that mindset.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: And see.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Life in a different way, people in a different way.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: What we do we punish because of our history. We
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: punish people in our life today who had nothing to
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: do with the past. But because of the way we
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: are right our information and knowledge and wisdom of what
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: we know and what's programmed into our mind and our body,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: we treat wonderful people in a horrible way because we
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: can't trust them, we can't depend on them, and I'm
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: still in that mode of proving myself good enough, and
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: it damages relationships. So this is why when I started
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: out talking is I recognize this what was going on.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: I recognize this still childhood wound, and I took the
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: steps to resolve that within myself and get a different perspective.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: That's on me. Nobody can do that for me. You Bev.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Bev could talk to me for days, but until I
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: made the choice of it's okay if people do the
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: things that they do. That doesn't define me, doesn't define
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: my story, doesn't define who I am today. It doesn't
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: define anything. It's just the lady didn't want to fill
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: out the fucking form who cares? Who cares? Yes, a
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: piece of paper, then I gave way too much attention
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: to it. And so yeah, we are interesting creatures, Fortuna, and.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Just kind of retuning or putting you downloading new information
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: into this knowledge bank so that we have different ways
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: of responding or not responding at all. Really, the more
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: that I've done the observation, and I don't do it
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: all the time because I get caught up in my
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: own stuff too, But the more that I do the observation,
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: I'm no longer. Now I am observing me how something
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: is affecting me, or how I think something has affected me,
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: And I get to step back and kind of witness
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: and then ask questions, Well, I wonder why, why why
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: are you behaving this way? Or whatever?
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: It's easy. I just want to put that out there
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: me too, like why why did you take that?
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Pearson All? Yeah, exactly, because there was some tuning that
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: we were some sort of information for somebody around us
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: that that was a response to have in that case,
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: or we took on so much energy that could have,
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: you know, from the people that are around us, and
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: how they observed something and how they took it in.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: And now they're running it through their own memory banks
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: or information things of information that they have and then
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: and then having an output from that, and it's like
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: it doesn't even match the situation, but we don't know
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: until we start. That's one thing that's been so wonderful
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: with Freeman. It's like, I some of the things I say,
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: He's like, I don't even know where that where you
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: even come from with that? Well I don't either, but
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: this is but this has been in my This has
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: stored in my memory bank somewhere. So this has been
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: a fallback to and and I'd rather not be with
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: it either. So it's like it's being able to walk
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: through those things and see what those things are when
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: they pop up, and knowing that, like we talked about earlier,
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: knowing that the people that are closest to it are
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: going to trigger us. And it's not even that they're
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: not doing it to trigger you, not necessarily, but they are.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: But it is for our own growth there. Everybody's put
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: it into place right in order for us to move
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: past a behavior or in order for us to love more,
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: in order for us to have an opportunity to know
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: that we're creating from that space and that if something
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: wasn't going right and a person left, Okay, I liked
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: all these things about that person that left, but man
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: I would I'd love to see the person that inter
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: doing this stuff and then visually seeing like all you
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: have to do is see like a smiling pair of
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: lips or laughing and talking on the phone and handling
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: business and being so jovial and happy and bringing more
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: balance to or upliftment to a space. So it's like
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: there's such an opportunity to create from that space. It's like,
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: right now you have a blank slate for whatever to
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: come forward. And now maybe this person's been wanting these
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: things all along too, but didn't have an environment to
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: flourish in, and now it has an opportunity to be
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: able to be that person and then and to fit
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: in with the puzzle. Maybe it's someone that will end
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: up learning and loving all the stuff that you do,
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: and then you don't even you're not even going to
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: be there anymore, So you don't have to feel bad
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: about going because the new person took over, and because
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: you're gonna be doing some other things that you've learned
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: along your way. Who knows that's the whole thing, and
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: we don't we don't have a clue. And I was
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: talking to a couple of the girls the other day
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: from group. If we had known all this stuff from
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: that right now, like, hey, you're gonna both these girls, look,
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: we're outside of Kingman. They weren't even living here. They
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: both came from like Washington and Minnesota and stuff like that,
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Like they came from a way to get to hear
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: to a small town. And it's like if we would
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: have stopped back then and someone has said, hey, you
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: when you go, you're gonna end up moving to the
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: small town so you can settle things down a little bit,
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: and you're gonna go through a lot of processes and
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: then you're gonna meet this person with other two persons
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: and you guys are gonna be like totally like this crazy.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: It's just gonna be a crazy, wonderful rent relationship, friendships.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: We would have been like, oh screw that, I am
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: not waiting that long. But we have so much stuff
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: that happened in between, right So that's what we're talking about.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Enjoying the journey. It's like, enjoy the journey. Sometimes it's
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: feel shitty, but it's like it's adoper ortunity for me
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: to be like, well I would like something better than that,
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: thank you? And what does that look like? What makes
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: me ask myself questions? What does that look like? What
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: would make me happier? How can I make myself happier?
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: How can I just be happy?
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? And the fact that if you would have
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: got that message and they said, and you're not going
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: to be until your mid fifties before that happens, I'd
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: be like, are you kidding me?
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: You made a liptillon in my fifties? What?
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: While you were talking, it dropped into me. You said,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: you know, people come into our lives for reasons to
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: help us, and and it what dropped in was this
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: lady with this form that she didn't want to fill
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: it out. Uh, she was using her voice. She was
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: confident in not wanting to fill that out. She knew
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: what she wanted to do and not wanted to do,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: and she demonstrated that for me.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: See it that way though, in that moment, and I
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: just it just dropped in as you were talking. I
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, she's demonstrating confidence something I've been
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: working on for quite some time. Go figure she's using
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: her voice as to say I don't want to do this. Yeah,
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: good for her, right, good for her. But I really
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: see it that way now, my little person inside, my
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: little girl said, oh, we're being rejected. She don't want
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: to play with me. She don't want to help me
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: feel good about myself and take take part in this
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: joy and passion that I have. She's she's just totally
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: denying me in my joy. That was my process. Her
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: process was you want confidence, I'll show you confidence.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: I'm going to use my words. I that's right.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: This is how it's done. This is how you say
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do something this.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: But it's what a nice demonstration though, And now it's
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: been a benefit to me because now I got to
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: hear because something will probably come up to all just
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: be like, you know, I just don't. I mean, and
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: it's not personal. It's just because you stand in your
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: own power and you do the things that light your heart.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Hello, I love when things come up like that.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, oh Jesus, here we go. I hear you.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: Fore you're free, all right. So inner child wounds still surfacing.
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: We gotta love it, we gotta embrace it. And we
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: also get the opportunity to heal it and be and
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: do better in ourselves. So we appreciate your time and
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: energy for being here with us. And absolutely it's important
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: for you to have these conversations. If these if this
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: is resonating with you, have the conversations with people, or
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: be resourceful and share the links with people, share the information,
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: share the content, whether it's us or any other podcast
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: or book that you listen to or read, share it
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: with people because there are other people out there that
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: would benefit from this as well. And there's nothing more
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: valuable than somebody giving you their time. So we appreciate
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: your time. And we are found on so many platforms.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: We're on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Speaker, Spotify, Google Podcasts, podcast Attic, iHeartRadio,
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: so you can find us in many areas. And do
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: you have any file my words BEV for I close
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: it up.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: I would say pay attention to your fields. You matter.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: You've got to take the time to pay attention to
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: them and check in with yourself and find out why
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: you're feeling these ways. Unless you like film like this forever,
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: then go go right ahead and carry on right if.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: You want to keep suffering and being a misery.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: Hey, it's your choice, yep. But you can always ask
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: yourself questions why you want to be in that space.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: So it's an opportunity. Everything is an opportunity. God, dang it.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: You know it's like dang. I love it all right, Friends,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: thanks for hanging out with us, time with Amy and BEB.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: We'll see in the next recording.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: Bye.