Latest / Faithful Fitness With Coach Alex VanHouten / The Body Remembers: Trauma, Movement, and Healing in Christ | With De Bolton

Transcript

The Body Remembers: Trauma, Movement, and Healing in Christ | With De Bolton · Faithful Fitness With Coach Alex VanHouten

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, Faithful, Welcome to the Faithful Fitness Podcast. In a moment,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: my dad, coach Alex van Houten, will help you honor
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  Speaker 1: God by making the most out of the body God's
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  Speaker 1: given you. Today you can expect truth from the Bible,
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  Speaker 1: tools from science, and guidance for everyday life. So listen closing,
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  Speaker 1: Get ready, Let's get one percent better today.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Hey there, coach Alex here, grace and peace to you.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: This conversation with Dee Bolton is a strong one, and
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  Speaker 2: I'll be honest with you, it goes places a lot
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  Speaker 2: of fitness conversations never go because we're not just talking
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  Speaker 2: about workouts, and we're not just talking about nutrition. We're
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: not just talking about discipline. We're talking about what happens
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  Speaker 2: when your body remembers things that your mind tried to forget.
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  Speaker 2: We're talking about trauma, shame, movement, healing, and what it
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  Speaker 2: means to actually live as someone beloved by God. D
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: said something early in this conversation that I think is
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  Speaker 2: so important. Sometimes movement doesn't feel good at first because
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  Speaker 2: our bodies are carrying wounds we haven't fully processed yet,
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  Speaker 2: and that matters because for some people exercise isn't just
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  Speaker 2: physically hard. It feels threatening or embarrassing or even overwhelming.
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  Speaker 2: It could be because of something that happened in childhood,
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  Speaker 2: or years of shame, or because your body has felt
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  Speaker 2: more like a battleground than a gift. And if that's you,
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  Speaker 2: I want you to hear this. Clearly, God is not
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  Speaker 2: asking you to hate your body into submission. He's inviting
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  Speaker 2: you to steward it with grace. There's a big difference.
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  Speaker 2: The world would try to pull you into extremes neglect
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  Speaker 2: on one side, obsession on the other, comfort seeking on
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  Speaker 2: one side, and performance and pride on the other. But
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  Speaker 2: Jesus's way is the narrow way, right down the middle.
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  Speaker 2: Stewardship not shame, not vanity, Stewardship learning to say, Lord,
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  Speaker 2: this is the body you gave me, These are the
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  Speaker 2: wounds that I carry, These are the habits I've built,
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  Speaker 2: These are the places I need healing.
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  Speaker 3: Please teach me to move.
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  Speaker 2: Forward with you. So as you listen, I want you
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  Speaker 2: to wrestle with this question. Where have I allowed shame, fear,
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  Speaker 2: or past wounds to keep me from stewarding my body? Well,
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  Speaker 2: not so you can beat yourself up, but so you
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  Speaker 2: can bring it into the light because what gets revealed
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  Speaker 2: can be healed. It's going to be an awesome conversation.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: But before we jump in, I want to invite you
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: to join us for the first ever Faithful Fitness five K.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: We're signing up race participants in how both in person
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: and virtual, and we're also welcoming sponsors and vendors who
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: want to be present right here in Greenbrier, Arkansas. The
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: race is Saturday, August fifteenth, and early bird pricing expires
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: on June twenty first, that's just ten days from the
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  Speaker 2: time this episode was published. This is more than a race.
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  Speaker 2: It's a chance to move together, to build community, to
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  Speaker 2: support the mission, and to make the most out of
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  Speaker 2: the body God's given us. You can find the links
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: in the show notes. I hope to see you there.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: All right, without further ado, let's get to this awesome
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: conversation with Dee Bolton.
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: I honestly think when it comes to the body that
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  Speaker 4: the church hasn't done its best in sharing on how
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: to steward it. Well. We learned how to steward our money, well,
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: we learn how to stewart relationships, but when it comes
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: to our physical body, it often gets put to the side.
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  Speaker 3: What's up, guys.
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  Speaker 2: This is coach Alex Vann Howden on the Faithful Fitness
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  Speaker 2: Podcast where we help you make them most out of
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  Speaker 2: the body God's given you, and I have this sincerest
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  Speaker 2: pleasure of hanging out with coach d Bolton today.
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  Speaker 3: What's up, Coach D. How you doing this morning?
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  Speaker 4: I'm blessed and highly favored, grateful to be here, thanks
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  Speaker 4: for having me.
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  Speaker 3: I love that.
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  Speaker 2: And even if you weren't feeling blessed and highly favored,
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  Speaker 2: that's very true, right, Yes, it's very very true statement.
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  Speaker 2: And I don't wake up film like that every day either.
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  Speaker 2: I have to ask you before I get into like
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  Speaker 2: the big stuff, the meaty stuff, because we get to
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  Speaker 2: talk about some amazing stuff today. Particularly I'm excited about
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  Speaker 2: what it means to practice trauma informed exercise and movement.
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  Speaker 2: But that's way too deep to start with. I got
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  Speaker 2: to ask, how do you get up and adam in
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  Speaker 2: the morning in a blessed and highly favored way?
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  Speaker 4: You know what, it is dreary here where I am today,
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  Speaker 4: and so it is hard. It truly is hard to
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  Speaker 4: just have joy in your spirit. But honestly, it's a
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  Speaker 4: blessing to be here.
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  Speaker 3: I started.
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  Speaker 4: My morning is really early, four fifteen in the morning,
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  Speaker 4: so by now I have been able to be in
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  Speaker 4: my word, have a really good breakfast. I got a
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  Speaker 4: really good movement session. And usually once I move my body,
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  Speaker 4: things will change. So if I do wake up a
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  Speaker 4: little cranky after I move my bi, I'm always in
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  Speaker 4: a better mood than when I started.
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  Speaker 3: That's right.
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  Speaker 2: The morning can start like a battle, but if you
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  Speaker 2: can get through that first. For me, it's the first
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  Speaker 2: five minutes. If I can get through the first five
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  Speaker 2: minutes of exercise, then man changes everything.
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  Speaker 4: Absolutely, Yes, I agree.
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  Speaker 2: So I want to talk about exercise actually because from
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  Speaker 2: a trauma informed perspective, exercise is not as easy as
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  Speaker 2: it sounds like. We say, hey, like go for a walk,
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  Speaker 2: or go lift some weights, or go dance or go
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  Speaker 2: yoga or whatever the movement practices of the day. But
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  Speaker 2: I have a question I want to dive into here.
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  Speaker 2: And I really thought about this and prayed about it.
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  Speaker 2: A lot of people think about exercise as a discipline,
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  Speaker 2: which I do.
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  Speaker 3: I generally talk about.
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  Speaker 2: Exercise as a discipline, but for many people, especially those
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  Speaker 2: who have experienced trauma in their life, movement can actually
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  Speaker 2: feel more like a threat than something good. So I
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  Speaker 2: want to ask how does our body carry the emotional
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  Speaker 2: or spiritual wounds that not a lot of people know about?
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  Speaker 4: That is, so I'm like, how do I attack this?
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  Speaker 4: There's so many different ways to share this. So I
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  Speaker 4: like to call trauma wounds or scars because in our
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  Speaker 4: over educated society today, trauma can be misinformed, and so
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  Speaker 4: think of it as a wound or a scar. And
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  Speaker 4: I think I've heard this from John Beavie. We can
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  Speaker 4: get a wound that requires a band aid to replace it,
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  Speaker 4: or it requires stitches, but regardless, it still leaves an
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  Speaker 4: impact on us. And so then when we approach it again,
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  Speaker 4: we are a little hesitant. And that's because of our brain.
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  Speaker 4: I can really get geeky about it. But we have
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  Speaker 4: our brain, which is our body is brilliant basically, and
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  Speaker 4: so in that brilliant it's always there to protect us.
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  Speaker 4: So if there's something that's happened to us that we
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  Speaker 4: didn't have the emotional tools to process or the time
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  Speaker 4: to process, then they will hold in our body. Well
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  Speaker 4: it'll get stuck, we'll say, in our body. And so
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  Speaker 4: when something comes up our amygdalah, which I like to
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  Speaker 4: call our fear center. It likes to shoot first, ask
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  Speaker 4: questions last, So it doesn't care what the threat is.
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  Speaker 4: It's just going to try to protect us because God
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  Speaker 4: designed us amazingly to protect ourselves. And so when it
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  Speaker 4: comes to exercise, if it was something that might have
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  Speaker 4: caused shamed or condemnation or inferiority, our body is going
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  Speaker 4: to just feel that threat and it's going to go
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  Speaker 4: into a bort mode. And so often for people I know.
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  Speaker 4: For me, I remember when I first got my pull
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  Speaker 4: up and it just redeemed me being that nine year
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  Speaker 4: old girl doing the President's Test in front of my
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  Speaker 4: entire class and not being able to pull myself up.
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  Speaker 4: Shame and the embarrassment that came with at And so
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  Speaker 4: I wasn't until I was thirty two till I got
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  Speaker 4: my pull up And the overcoming of that fear and
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  Speaker 4: that shame is something that I just can't explain. And
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  Speaker 4: so when we come to exercise and movement, we might
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  Speaker 4: not even know why we're going against this, but it's
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  Speaker 4: something that happened to us that we might have put
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  Speaker 4: away and not processed or just didn't know how to
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  Speaker 4: process it. And so when it comes back up again.
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  Speaker 4: Our body just does what it does and it protects us.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: So Psalm's one thirty nine tells us that we praise
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  Speaker 2: God because we're fearfully and wonderfully made. But part of
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  Speaker 2: that is that wonderfully is like hard to understand. It's
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  Speaker 2: it's I know you made me good, but I don't
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  Speaker 2: quite understand how everything works. And many people start an
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  Speaker 2: exercise journey and not realize that the nine year old
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  Speaker 2: girl who couldn't do a pull.
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  Speaker 3: Up is still in there.
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  Speaker 2: So you go to do a workout, maybe somebody maybe
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  Speaker 2: you found it on the internet, maybe you saw somebody
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  Speaker 2: doing it. Maybe maybe you're you're blessed and you have
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  Speaker 2: a coach's who's helping you through this journey and says, hey,
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  Speaker 2: we're going to work on pull ups.
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  Speaker 3: And then the.
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  Speaker 2: Moment you get up there and you grab the bar,
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  Speaker 2: the nine year old comes back. It's like everybody's looking
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  Speaker 2: at me and I don't want to be here, and
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  Speaker 2: this is like I can't do this, you know. The
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  Speaker 2: however you articulate that in your mind, it comes back.
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  Speaker 2: I have found in my practice, because I've been training
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  Speaker 2: people for twenty years, I found in my practice that
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  Speaker 2: that can happen in a moment, but nobody knows it
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  Speaker 2: until they're there, right, whether it's running on the treadmill
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  Speaker 2: or stretching in a yoga practice or something like that.
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  Speaker 2: What do you think it is about movement that brings
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  Speaker 2: that back so poignantly, even if we don't know.
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  Speaker 3: It's there until we're actually doing.
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  Speaker 4: It A really good question, because we're completely integrated in
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  Speaker 4: our body when we're moving, our brain, our limbs, they're
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  Speaker 4: all working together. And so when there's things that are hippocampus,
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  Speaker 4: which I call a librarian puts away back in the
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  Speaker 4: day we had a card catalog and stores it, it
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  Speaker 4: just reignites it. And then our brain's amazing. We know
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  Speaker 4: about neuroplasticity. What we repeat, we root, and so if
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  Speaker 4: we believe that we can't do something, we function and
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  Speaker 4: operate off of that belief. And so when we are
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  Speaker 4: actually trying to do the ability of doing with our body,
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  Speaker 4: our beliefs and what we've told ourselves for years are
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  Speaker 4: just counteracting. And so I think that's why it comes
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  Speaker 4: up when we do this movement. I've seen many people
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  Speaker 4: in stretching all of a sudden cry, uncontrollably and have
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  Speaker 4: no idea what the tears are for. And it's because
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  Speaker 4: something happened that they pushed away, they disembodied or disconnected
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  Speaker 4: with their body at that time so that they could survive.
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  Speaker 4: Because like I said, our body is brilliant and it
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  Speaker 4: will do anything to help us survive. So at the
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  Speaker 4: moment they weren't able to process it, they put it away,
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  Speaker 4: and then here we are doing something later on in life,
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  Speaker 4: and that comes back to the surface because our brain's like, whoa,
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  Speaker 4: we did this before, and at that time we don't mind,
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  Speaker 4: I even remember what happened, but it made that much
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  Speaker 4: of an impact on us that our body is responding
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  Speaker 4: with maybe tears or fear or freezing. We've heard a fight, fight, freezer,
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  Speaker 4: fawn and it's just not like physically fighting fighting actually
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  Speaker 4: comes as tears as well. And so there's so many
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  Speaker 4: different ways our body just reacts to things that has
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  Speaker 4: happened to us emotionally, spiritually, physically.
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  Speaker 3: Man, I just had a flashback while you were talking.
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  Speaker 2: I was I was ten years old learning how to kickbox,
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  Speaker 2: and I remember getting like punched really hard right in
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  Speaker 2: the zyphoid process, Like I like just lost all, like
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  Speaker 2: lost all my breath, you know. And I was in
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  Speaker 2: this fight. It was a tournament fight, and so I
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  Speaker 2: get hit in the guts, you know, and I can't breathe,
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  Speaker 2: but I won't stop fighting. And I remember just mopping
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  Speaker 2: the floor with this kid. But I finished the fight
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  Speaker 2: and I was just crying, just just like And it's
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  Speaker 2: so crazy because when we think of crying, more often
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  Speaker 2: than not, we think of a helplessness in response to pain.
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  Speaker 3: But crying is not just that.
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  Speaker 2: Part of the reasons we cry have a lot to
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  Speaker 2: do with, like you said, fighting something, even though we
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  Speaker 2: don't quite know what we're fighting.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a physical release for our body to get
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  Speaker 4: rid of it. Yeah. Absolutely.
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  Speaker 3: So we're going to talk a lot about the body today.
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  Speaker 2: If anybody listening hasn't quite caught on yet, we're going
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: to talk a lot about the body today. But I
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  Speaker 2: want to talk from a spiritual perspective really quickly. This
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: is the Faithful Fitness Podcast. Most of our listeners are Christians.
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  Speaker 2: I want to ask, in your opinion and with the
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: people that you work with, what's going on in the
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  Speaker 2: Christian world right now where people are so disconnected from
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  Speaker 2: their body.
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  Speaker 3: Like we can hear a message on Sunday.
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  Speaker 2: We can read our Bible, we can we can do
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  Speaker 2: spiritual things. But for many individuals, what you and I
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: just talked about doing a pull up, for instance, being
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: in a case boxing match, or doing a movement practice
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  Speaker 2: as a part of the way you start your day,
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  Speaker 2: that's a foreign idea. What's going on in the Christian
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  Speaker 2: world that people are so disconnected from their bodies right now?
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  Speaker 4: I honestly think when it comes to the body that
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: the Church hasn't done its best in sharing and how
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: to steward it. Well. We learn how to steward our
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: money well, we learn how to steward relationships, but when
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: it comes to our physical body, it often gets put
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: to the side. And that's in so many different aspects
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: of our body, not just health and fitness, but also
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: our sexuality. Like it's just disconnect and so and there's
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: a lot of shame and condemnation when it comes to
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  Speaker 4: the body as well. And so when grace and guilt
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  Speaker 4: cannot occupy the same space, and so when we're talking
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  Speaker 4: about Christ who's given us grace and mercy, and we
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  Speaker 4: have guilt and shame and condemnation in our body, it's
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: a hard it's a hard place to process. And so
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  Speaker 4: I feel like in the church there is a huge
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  Speaker 4: wall there, and I feel like it is changing as
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  Speaker 4: the leadership in church is starting to get younger. But
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  Speaker 4: I feel like we have an older generation that was
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  Speaker 4: very disconnected to their body, had very little emotional intelligence
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: when it comes to their body, and so it just
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: got put away and it never got addressed. And so
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: when it comes to these things that our body, we
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  Speaker 4: don't look at it as if we're in reflection of Christ,
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  Speaker 4: who is triune body, minded, spirit, Holy Spirit, God and
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  Speaker 4: the Sun. We look at it as compartmentalized. And so
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  Speaker 4: when we have these different compartments, one will get put
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  Speaker 4: on the shelf and never get addressed, but they all
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  Speaker 4: are integrated. And I think that's what the huge boundary is.
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  Speaker 4: I feel like when it's coming in the church, when
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: it comes to the body, there's a boundary there, and
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: it's not even a healthy boundary. It's more like a
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: wall versus like a guardrail.
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  Speaker 3: I think that's that's very well said.
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  Speaker 2: In UH and Faithful Fitness, we talk about the sins
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: of fitness and how stewardship kind of walks through the
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: center of them and in the modern church, the body
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: seems to seems to be like an extreme idea. You
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: either have I don't care about my body at all, numbness.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: We would call that gluttony and comfort seeking or laziness, right,
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  Speaker 2: that's that's you know.
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  Speaker 3: My spirit is separate from my body. I don't have
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  Speaker 3: to worry about what my body does, which isn't true,
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  Speaker 3: by the way.
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  Speaker 2: And then and then on the other end of the
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  Speaker 2: spectrum is is this idea, Okay, well, I really care
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  Speaker 2: about my body, and it becomes some sort of some
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  Speaker 2: idol in our life where where this would be the
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: pride and envy side of the spectrum, where where, oh,
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: I really care about high look, or I really care
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: about about what I'm able to do and who I
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: can keep up with, and and and the body becomes
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: this this idol and and somewhere in the middle of
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: these things, because as Christ, the way is narrow that
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  Speaker 2: leads to life, Somewhere in between these things is the
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  Speaker 2: idea of stewardship. I don't I don't see comfort food
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  Speaker 2: has no ownership of me. But I'm not ashamed. I
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  Speaker 2: have a responsibility to steward myself. And that's all under
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Christ it doesn't become an idol for me. And in
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  Speaker 2: that narrow way is not easy to find, particularly in
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: our culture that likes to operate on these extremes. And
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  Speaker 2: I believe you're you're one hundred percent correct. In order
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: to just avoid the conversation altogether, it's really easy to
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: just build a wall and talk about spiritual things and
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: have donuts in the lobby. For all my Christian friends
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: with diabetes, they always like to say, don't look.
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  Speaker 3: At me, don't look at me while I eat this,
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  Speaker 3: like and that to me is very.
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: Telling, absolutely, And I feel like food is probably the
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: only acceptable drug in the church, and we are not
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  Speaker 4: caring for our brothers and sister as well, who do
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: have a stronghold when it comes to food, presenting this
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: temptation to them and allowing them to overindulge at the
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: sake of their health.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: And caffeine, sorry, caffeine that too.
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, in your doughnuts, always in supply in the
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: church lobby.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, for whatever reason, that seems a little more
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: acceptable than bourbon at the moment. But but and that's
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: and I say that tongue in cheek, but that is
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: a very telling thing because all together as a church body,
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: we who steward our bodies and who help other people
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: do the same. It's well for me, it's it's kind
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  Speaker 2: of painful to see.
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  Speaker 3: I don't know, I'm.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Curious about your thoughts, but what does it feel like
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: to you to see that separation in the Body of Christ.
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: It absolutely is because the Body of Christ can't serve
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: at their full capacity if they have ease or disease.
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: And I actually have clients. I have a pastor's wife
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: and I have a pastor that I train, and through
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: our work together, the pastor's wife is finding a really
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: big like there's hindrance there when it comes to women's
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: ministry and trying to kind of show them something different. Now,
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: she's been on this journey for years and it started
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: off from her chronic disease, and now she is in bodies,
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: living a healthy lifestyle, but now trying to share that
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: with her sisters in Christ. She's noticing that she's finding
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: a big stronghold there. And so again, and these are
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: older sisters in Christ that is having more issues than
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: with the younger ones. And we were literally was just
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: training her this morning and we were just talking about
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: belief system and how they operate out the belief that
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: we have to have the coffee, we have to have
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: the donuts there for the events. And when you believe something,
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: it's like your GPS. You're going to function off that belief.
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: So I think there's a lot when it comes to
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: belief of what people should do, how they should be,
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: how they should be a Christian, right, that's where we're
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: coming into these walls of people just holy spare what's
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: the word. I'm trying to be really kind in my
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: answer instead of nice, But this wall where people have
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: when it comes to taking care of their body and
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: stewarding it. Well, like you said, finances are okay, relationship okay,
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: but body, it's like I'm leaving this body. I'm not
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: going to have this body when I get to the Kingdom,
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: so I can do what I want with it when
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: I'm here. And that's not good care.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: And it's so easy to see in the finances, at
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: least from a Christian perspective. God's given me this money,
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: right I didn't have it, and then here it is
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: in my lifetime, and then I can use it first
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: kingdom and I can learn how to steward it and
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: make the most out of that right and take good
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: responsibility for what He's given me. But many people don't
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: see the boyody thing because you have been a body
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: since you were conceived.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: But this is the body.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: This is the one He knit together in your mother's
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: womb for you, and this is the one you get
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: to have until He makes it new for you. And
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: it's not like it goes anywhere. It's actually a part
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: of what we get to say to God, Hey, I
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: did everything I knew how to do with what you've
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: given me, not to earn salvation, but to say, hey,
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: You've given me the gift of grace, and I have
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: the opportunity to make the most out of that.
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: Our body is a part of that, and I think
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: I declare that.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: I know I'm preaching at the choir when I'm talking
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: to you, but I'm declaring that to our listeners. If
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: if that's something that you don't see in your own body,
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: that God loves you, that He made you on purpose
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: for purpose, and specifically you with all of your quirks,
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: that that's that's a part of the stewardship that you
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: get in your life that I want to encourage you
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: in that even more than your money, even more than
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: than anything else that you've received, while you get to
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: walk around consciously. That's a big thing for me. Do
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: you have something to add to that before I move on?
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: I do something when you said, we've been many together
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: from our mother's womb. I think a lot of this
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: stronghold comes from that, because what do we do when
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: babies crack? We put a bottle in the mouth, and
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: so we teach them to soothe themselves with food and
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: to comfort themselves with food, and I think that is
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: where it begins. But when we come to money, it's
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: something that's given to us later in life and we're
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: taught to manage it well. But we're taught to cope
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: with food at a very young age and that continues,
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: and so a lot of people gravitate towards that when
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: they don't have again the emotional tools we're trying to process,
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: they go for comfort.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: And there's a big difference between dorito's and breast milk, right,
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: Like one's quite a bit more nourishing, but the doritos,
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: it's a comfort food for sure, but it doesn't quite
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: build the best in you. Well, I want to switch
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: gears here, a little bit and talk about movement specifically.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: So we talked a bit about how we're integrated when
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: we're moving right and and on this trauma informed perspective,
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: it can bring things up that we didn't know were there.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: So So for my listeners who really don't like to exercise,
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: because some people don't, I kind of enjoy it. I
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: can't say I love every workout session, but I love moving,
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: and I love sweating, and I love I love the
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: feeling of accomplishing something that's.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: That's real right in front of me.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: And I also love establishing I would say, through the
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: faithful practice of revisiting that discipline.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: I love. I love showing myself and my actions. This
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: is important. So I'm going to do this thing right now.
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: Now.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: Everybody feels that way.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: They're like, oh, I gotta go for a walk, I
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: got love weights, Oh I gotta do my zoomba class.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: Whatever it is.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Right when when you're working with somebody who doesn't enjoy exercise,
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: and maybe there's some some trauma there, maybe there's some
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: things that are overwhelming or uncomfortable there where, do you
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: generally recommend people start if exercise is uncomfortable or unenjoyable
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: for them.
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so I am one of those people who do
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: not enjoy moving my body, believe it or not. I
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: come from being in one of the we call it
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: in an organization that I do ministry with as Revelation Wellness,
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: and we call it a neglect. I was a neglector
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: hated moving my body. About nine years ago. I was
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: overweight physically and underweight spiritually, and I was overweighth one
• 23:35
  Speaker 4: hundred pounds and God met me literally in my desire
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: to get skinny. And so I've been there, so I
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: can completely relate to them. And so when I'm asking
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: them to do something that is out of their comfort zone,
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: first of all, it's why is it uncomfortable for you?
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: Why is caring for your body something that's just you
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: have a dick to it? And to do something that
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: brings some joy? And so I'll ask them, like, what
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: did you do when you were a child?
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: Was it?
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: Now? Roller skating might be if you haven't been moving
• 24:12
  Speaker 4: your body for twenty years, you might not get on
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: a pick some skates, But was it dancing?
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Was it?
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: Moving? Movement can be enjoyable. It does not have to
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: be in a gym. It does not have to be
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: running around a track. There's so many out ways to move,
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: and so we start there. I have one client who
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: loves to read books, so we're like, okay, how about
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: you walk and listen to an audio book, And that
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: got her to start walking five minutes and I'm really
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: proud of her. Actually, within the last three months, she
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: now walks thirty minutes. She's almost at two miles and
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: thirty minutes. And it all started from taking her love
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: of reading from sitting to doing it with movement. So
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: I tried to meet them where they are and then
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: take them where I know they can go. And so
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: it depends on each person. Like you said, we're unique
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: and wonderfully made. That motivation will be in that inspiration
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: and then having a really big why. Most people don't
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: start moving until they get the diagnosis. Some diagnosis is like, Okay,
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: I have to start taking care of my body or
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: I'm going to continue to decline in my body. And
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: so why are you moving your body? And it can't
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: be for someone else, it has to be for them,
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: and they have to find trust in their body as well.
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: A lot of people don't move their bodies because they
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: don't trust their body. I know I had a client
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: that every time she will, according to her, every time
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: she moved, she injured herself. So we had to find
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: gentle ways for her to move to prove to herself
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: that she can still move without injuring herself. Now, this
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: woman is a bike rider and she does it with
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: her daughter, and she movement is part of her everyday
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: activity and she absolutely loves it. But it takes going
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: over these things that we're telling. These I call them
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: false scenarios. We can also call them lies. That the
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: enemy is trying to distract us because he can't destroy it,
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: so he'll just distract us. And so there are false
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: scenarios that you're telling yourself and we need to get
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: to the root with that, and usually there's truth. Now,
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: every time I align it with scripture, their scripture, scripture,
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: that's holding them to truth. I feel like that is
• 26:16
  Speaker 4: why my clients have so much more success than those
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: who might not be in Christ, because when you're telling
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: a truth to a lie, it's always going to come
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: to truth. And so when they are using scripture to
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: begin their movement session, maybe it's a prayer, maybe they're
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: meditating on it. Then it encourages them to spiritually work
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: on themselves, disciple themselves, train themselves. And like I said,
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: we're integrated body, mind and spirit. They're not disconnected. If
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: your body is a disease, usually your relationship with Christ
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: is at disease, and also your mind is at disease.
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: But when they're all integrated and you're feeling better and
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: you're living better and you're loving better, you want to
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: do better. And I always say too, you don't have
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: to start off running a mile five minutes is more
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: than enough. As long as you're doing more than you
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: did the day before, then you are going to beat
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: your younger self. And so I think a lot of
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: encouragement and then there's lots of things I'm thinking of
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: and then really celebrating the small wins. We like to celebrate,
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: like even when you fall off track, celebrating the fact
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: that you got back on track the next decision you made,
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: because we really want to get to the finish line
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: and celebrate. But if we start celebrating every little incremental
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: step that we took on the way there, it becomes
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: a praise party, and that's so much more enjoyable than
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: a pity party.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: Well said.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: Well said, it makes me think of what Christ said
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: about the Kingdom of Heaven. He said, the Kingdom of
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Heaven is like a mustard seed that is the smallest
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: of seeds, but when it's planted in the ground and
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: taking care of it can grow to where its branches
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: can even give nesting shelter and chat to those who
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: need it. I think it specifically says the birds of
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: the air can nest in its branches.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: But seeds don't grow instantly. You like, oh, look a.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: Tree, how cool, But that's like a I don't know,
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: have you ever watched a tree grow. I don't imagine
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: it's very fast.
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: You can't play out the seed and eat the fruit.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: In the same day either, exactly right. It's a daily process.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: And you know, I believe I believe that in the
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: side of the Kingdom of Heaven we don't generally see
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: unless we have the eyes to see, that Heaven rejoices
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: in the very small winds. People say the devil's in
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: the details, but I like to say that that Christ's
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: grace is in the details, and if we pay attention
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: to those things, that it really makes a difference over time.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: I think that was very well.
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: Said, Yeah, made me think of zach Ry four ten. Right, although, yeah,
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: you start off small, our greatness will be our increases
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: in the latter days.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: So yeah, that's right. He does not despise beginnings.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: So I want to talk about stewardship and performance because
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: because one of the things that happens when individuals get
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: serious about stewarding their body or taking good care of themselves,
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: and maybe they started moving in the direction of doing
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: a little better every day movement wise. Maybe i started
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: off with five minutes of walking and I'm going to
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: go run or whatever. Stewardship can easily turn into a
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: performance game. Or I'm getting all the trophies and I'm
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: and I'm losing all the weight, and I'm eating not
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: all the calories I'm doing you know, I'm getting a
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: little better all the time, and it becomes this performance game.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: And that again coming back to that sin spectrum of
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: fitness can easily become a pride envy.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: It could become its own idol. Right.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: So one of my questions to you is is how
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: how do we as Christians, how do we walk that
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: narrow way where we are we understand our health and
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: fitness is important but we don't make that an idol
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: in our own life.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I can relate to that too. So when I
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: was a neglector and then I went on the pursuit
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: of bodybuilding competition, so I became from a neglect to obsession,
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: obsession over every more. So that went into my body,
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: every workout that I did to get to the goal,
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: to get on the stage, to get the prize, to
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: have someone tell me that I did good enough. And
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: so that is when it comes to our identity of
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: how we are chosen, we are loved, and exactly who
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: we are. And so if we don't have an identity
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: in Christ, then we're going to look for it anywhere
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: and everywhere else. And I feel like when we idolize
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: or we put anything above Christ, it's just again an
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: indicator of our relationship with Christ. And so when we
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: are walking with God, like come to me, let me
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: show you my my unmerited rhythms of grace, right, bring
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: to me your burdens, he says in Matthew eleven twenty eight,
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: when were walking with him and coming to him for
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: the direction and not our own as coaches. We are gifted,
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: we are. But I really feel like like I said,
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: having my clients start with prayer, having them walk it
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: out with scripture. I come from a ministry that we
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: integrate scripture with movement. Again, it's not separate, and we're
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: doing it with Christ. It becomes more of an opportunity
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: to do everything that we do for the glory of
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: God versus just doing it for our own glory. And
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: so when but again that roots from our identity in Christ.
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: We're doing it as an act of worship, We're doing
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: it as an act of praise. And so when you
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: are doing these quests, when you're trying to get to
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: your best self, who are you doing it for? And
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: what is your heart posture for? I think heart post
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: changes everything. And so also having people in Christ hold
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: you to a standard of righteousness. I have a sister
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: in Christ who she loves the Lord with all her heart, mind,
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: soul and strength and was really into scripture. But then
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: her workouts became overcame her Bible time, and I was like, Sis,
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: like I really encourage you to keep moving your body,
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: but I discourage you from taking time away from the
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: Lord to do it. And so having other people and
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: we're meant to live in community walk alongside you with
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: it support you come alongside you. I think is really
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: powerful in that walk too, because when we're isolated, that's
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: when the enemy can attack much more easily than when
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: we're in community.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: I had had a brother in Christ.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: I got to begin training him just a couple of
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: years ago, and he went through a phase of hypertrophy training,
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: which I'm sure you're familiar with as a I don't
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: know if you're an ex bodybuilder once upon a time,
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: but however you, how are you think about that time
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: in your life? It's like ninety minutes at least four
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: days a week, something like that. And he says, hey, hey, Alex,
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: I gotta be real with you. I spend about thirty
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: to forty five minutes in the Word every morning, and
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: then my workouts are longer, and I feel a little
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: convicted that my workouts are longer than my Bible time.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: Can we shorten these up? In true coaching fashion? I said,
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: I think it sounds like you need to read your
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: Bible more, not workout less, and he goes, oh, you
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: got me.
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: So anyway, he figured that out.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: He made a praise of worship time a part of
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: his weightlifting that was great, But you're absolutely right when
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: we find ourselves growing outside of something bowed to Christ,
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: because that's what making Christ the lord of our life means.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: It means taking all the things and bowing them in
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: his direction, saying this is going to serve you, because
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: if it doesn't, it's prune, it's cut off, it gets
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: thrown in the fire. It doesn't it doesn't have a
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: place here. So it's either going to be bowed toward
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: him or it's going to feel apart and you're going
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: to know something's wrong. So so do I do have
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: a kind of a follow up question to this idea,
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: and that is that is the idea of shame. In
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: my mind, performance and in shame they coincide pretty deeply.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: Shame shame comes about from there's very ninja scientific ways
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: to say this, But really I expect something of myself.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: I don't live up to said expectation. Now I hide that.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: I hide my inadequacy. I isolate from from showing the
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: world or even God or even sometimes myself that I'm inadequate.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: What what is it that that happens in our bodies
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: when we carry shame? And why is it so important
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: to deal with that?
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So shame. I like to think of shame as
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: the acronym should have already mastered everything thing. And so
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: when we're in a place that's kind of where sin
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: crept in, when we were looking to when we were
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: listening to a voice other than God, first of all
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: in the garden, and when we were trying to have
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: all the wisdom of the world. And so shame actually
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: holds into your body. It could there's so many things
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: on forgiveness, resentment, but it's it's disease in your body,
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: and disease disease however you want to say it. And
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: so shame when it is not processed, When it's not
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: when you're not changing your direction or repenting for the
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: things that you're trying to hide, right, they will reside
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: in your body and they will manifest until you do.
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: And so it can be toxic. There's so many different ramifications.
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: It could be heart disease, it could be high cholesterol.
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: It can be high blood pressure. Often it's high blood pressure.
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: It could be memory, memory loss. There's so many different
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: ways that it manifest in your body. But old mentally,
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: it is sin. It is not repenting, it is not
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: changing your direction, and trying to What I think of
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: is when Adam and Eve put fig leaves on their body.
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: First of all, fig leaves are probably the most abrasive
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: leaves they could have chosen the garden to put on.
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: It's like the rough side of velcro, and they put
• 36:19
  Speaker 4: that on their intimate parts. And so we're putting these
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: temporary fixes on our cells that aren't going to hold
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: up in the long run, and eventually it will come.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: It'll come to light, right, And so shame in your
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: body so many different ways. It could be aches and pains,
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: It could be chronic cramping, it could be physical parts
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: in your body. Usually it's in your hips. Usually it's
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: in your chest that I found in research that we
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: hold it, but it's going to come out. Eventually our
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: body will remember. And it could be something like you said,
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: just a simple memory, a simple trigger, or it could
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: be whatever you're whatever you're hiding, it comes to light, right.
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: But I feel like the way to overcome it is
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: just to reveal it. That way you can heal from it,
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: and that's usually through repentance.
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: Mmm.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: Well Son, I think it's it's important to point out
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: too that that in the Gospel, Grace removes shame. Yeah,
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: but it doesn't absolve us of responsibility. So Christ can
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: handle our shame. He can he can cover our shame.
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: He can make us whole and clean. Right, However, that's
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: not the end of the story. You can be absolved
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: of shame, but then you also have this this deep
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: responsibility where where Christ says, all right, I'm calling you,
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: you're you're coming with me. We're gonna we're gonna do
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: this thing. And and you don't have to be in
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: shame anymore. You can be fully you and fully alive
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: and and newly born, and and you you get to
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: not fall into that anymore. When shame reers it's ugly
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: ahead again, you get to give it back. You get
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: to say, hey, this is me, this is everything that
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: I am. I'm not perfect. I'm learning to walk with
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: the one who is. And I want to encourage any
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: of our listeners today there, if you're wrestling with shame,
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: Grace will cover your shame. Grace will remove your shame,
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: and you have a wonderful responsibility that means you don't
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: have to walk in that anymore.
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and I would like to add grace. I think
• 38:30
  Speaker 4: when people hear grace they think of it as permission
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: to do it again. And I'm actually looking I think
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: it's in second Timothy where it says, grace is not
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: an opportunity for you to continue to do sin again,
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: this opportunity for you to look towards God and have
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: him direct you. And I think it's second Timothy. I
• 38:49
  Speaker 4: want to say it's like two ten, but I can't
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: think of the address right now. But yeah, grace is
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: not permission.
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: To continue to do.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: What shall we say, then, brothers, shall we continue to
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: send so that grace may abound by no means?
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: He says, thank you.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: I honestly don't know the address either. I'm going to
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: look it up just so that we both, we both
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: can close that loop in our head.
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that grace may abounds, you know what I'm wanting.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's Romans wanted to So you got the
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: writer right, that's a Paul thing to say, But it's
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: a Romans six verses one and two.
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: I think that's awesome.
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: I think the one to think is two Timothy. But
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: I digress.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: Well, again, when you're talking about the same guy, he
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: was saying the same thing. He's talking to the Holy
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Spirit about what to say to that church and about
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: what to say to that that young disciple, and well,
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: it was a very important thing. He had to say
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: it a number of times, among other things he had
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: to say a number of times, which which is what
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: we're doing here on the Fitness Podcast, regularly telling you
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: that God.
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: Wants you to move and God wants you to make the.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: Most out of the body he's giving you, not in shame,
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: but because that's what that's part of life abundantly. Now
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: I have to ask you a question about your book.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: So you wrote a book called The Embodied Beloved. There's
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: so much in that title, and I'm not asking you
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: to tell us all two hundred and eighty six pages
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: in one sentence, but I want to know why did
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: you write that and how did that title come about?
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: Oh, it was such a kindness of the Lord to
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: allow me to write that book. Honestly, The Embodied Beloved
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: just started off as some scribbles at an airport and
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: it became so much more than I even realized. So
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: I've been a coach a personal trainer for ten years
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: now and many women come to me because I am
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: I do it through a christ centered approach, and so
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: I've had these women come to me desiring to honor
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: their temple. But we've talked about idols and talked about shame,
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: and we've talked about grace and condemnation.
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: And so.
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: The embody Beloved is a woman who knows that she's
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: loved by God in theory, but she's actually walking it
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: out in her whole entire life. And this is a
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: woman who might have been rejected by man and carrying
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: things that her body remembers that she doesn't even know
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: what happened, and allowing beliefs about God to shape her
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: habits and a relationship, her choices. But when we embody
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: what God calls us as the beloved, we lived as
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: someone who is loved by God. And so that is
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: pretty much the focus of the book, and each chapter
• 41:41
  Speaker 4: is just really an opportunity for them not to just
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: read the words, but also to embody scripture through breaf, prayer,
• 41:47
  Speaker 4: through movement, through Selah moments just to take a pause
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: and just reflect on the goodness of the Lord. And
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: so it started off very innocently and became a two
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: hundred and eight six page book when I was amazed
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: that I was the author of it, and it's had
• 42:05
  Speaker 4: such positive feedback to the woman who's been able to
• 42:09
  Speaker 4: receive it and read it and walk through it and
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: experience it, because I feel like it's more than just
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: a book, is actually the experience for women to understand
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: their identity as loved by God and not just know
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: it in their knowing, but actually walk it out and
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: everything that they do well said.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: Well said, There's a big difference between knowing God's love
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: and theory and then knowing it down in your soul
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: for you, not for anybody else.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: It's good, it's good.
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: It does extend to everybody else, but it's if you
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: learn about God's love and you can look around and
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: you can see it for your kids, and you can
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: see it for your husband, and you can see it
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: for the people you're.
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: Serving and stuff.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: You can see that you're like, Okay, it's so good
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: that God loves them.
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: And I guess in theory he loves me.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's different from down in your bones going
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: my Father loves me, and that isn't contingent upon how
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: I act or how I move, or how my ads
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: look or has nothing to do with that He loves me,
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: and and that's I know it, I feel it, I
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: live it. There's a there's a big difference between those two,
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: and I think that's a wonderful thing to incorporate into
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: a book. That becomes an experience. So it's not just
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: another head knowledge thing. It's something that that you you
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: practice and feel and know.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and you're honor your temple, the one and only
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: temple that He's given you until you get to meet
• 43:33
  Speaker 4: Him in the Kingdom.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: So I want to take this opportunity here to invite
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: people into your work, which you have.
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: You have quite a few things.
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: Where can they find you on the internet and what
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: do you have coming up soon that if this conversation
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: has been helpful piques some interest in that they can
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: get connected to you and be a part of those things.
• 43:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So God has designed me to fulfill many roles.
• 43:57
  Speaker 4: Praise I praise Him for that and I'm grateful for that.
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: But you can find me at Dbolton dot com. That's
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: my website. And I get the honor and privilege of
• 44:07
  Speaker 4: just helping women reconnect with their bodies so that healing,
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: strength and self trust can return. And I do that
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: through many many ways. But right now I have in
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: June what I call Reclaim Your Temple, which is a
• 44:20
  Speaker 4: beautiful program that's happened over the years of just the
• 44:23
  Speaker 4: Lord just kind of working with me and my clients,
• 44:25
  Speaker 4: and we go through a twelve week embodiment program and
• 44:30
  Speaker 4: it's really walking through like I said, identity and your
• 44:33
  Speaker 4: belief and forgiveness and then learning how to move well,
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: nourish well, rest well, and then also the emotions. Like
• 44:41
  Speaker 4: I said, we had the emotions that we haven't been
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: able to process or the tools naming them, claiming them
• 44:47
  Speaker 4: and taking them to the Holy Spirit, and then being
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: healthy and whole your mind, body and spirit. And so
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: those are the twelve weeks that we walk through. And
• 44:55
  Speaker 4: our next program starts since the end of June, and
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: I'm really really excited h cohort. I only allow eight women.
• 45:01
  Speaker 4: It's a very intimate opportunity to work with me in
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: small group coaching, but also work in community. And it's
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: always amazing to see how God intertwines and weaves together
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: and knits this community together. There's always like one universal
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: line of the same story and just walk them through
• 45:19
  Speaker 4: this twelve week journey together of wholeness.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: So powerful, and that's that's virtual and look okay, awesome.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: So so like, you don't have to live in New
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: Jersey to connect with you in this way.
• 45:31
  Speaker 4: Absolutely not. I've worked with women in Canada. That's as
• 45:34
  Speaker 4: far as I've gotten in Canada. But we're all over
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: the map.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: Nice, we got we have some Australian listeners, so maybe
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: we'll get We'll get an Australian gal in your in
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: your course.
• 45:44
  Speaker 4: That would be so fun and that would be amazing.
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, their time zones are very different though, that makes
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: things a little challenging. So so I appreciate that. I'm
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: going to put that link in the show notes. I
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: also to anybody that that sounds like something they need
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: to be a part of, it's very reasonable priced as well.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: So way to go Coach d on that front and
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: put that in the show notes. I do have a
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: couple of rapid fire questions. Some of them are fun
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: and some of them are are a little more thoughtful,
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: because I believe it or not, we've only got twelve
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: minutes less. So first, this is thoughtful. We've had a
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: very thoughtful discussion, by the way, and I appreciate that.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: In faithful fitness in my community and in the work
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: that I do. I name four disciplines that we practice integrity, grit, growth,
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: and awe, and I'm going to define those for you,
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: and I want to ask you where you see women
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: struggling the most in these right, So integrity being the
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: foundation oftentimes from a body perspective, this looks like the
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: food that we feed ourselves. This looks like the cravings
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: and the emotional eating things that we wrestle with that
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: we don't always know the roots of, but they're there
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: and they're not aligned under Christ.
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: So integrity is that firm foundation that we're trying to
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: put together so we can build our house on the rock.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: Grit is this I'm made of sterner stuff than I know.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: I can do hard things. In fact, I choose to
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: endure even when things get difficult. This would be James saying,
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: rejoice when you feel the trials of many kinds.
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: So that's the discipline of grit. It's visiting that on
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: purpose to build and grow endurance. Then there's the discipline
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: of growth. This is taking on challenges knowing that you
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: can grow and feeding that process.
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: Well.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: This would be things like sports nutrition. This would be
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: things like weight training. This would be things from a
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: spiritual perspective, the David facing Goliath, who knows that his
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: strength comes from God, not because of something he's done right.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: And then finally is awe.
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: And this is the discipline of spending time with our
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: heavenly Father in a way that restores and replenishes us.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Also gives us an understanding of the meaning and vision
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: of our life. And this connection and community with others
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: that allows us to not do this thing alone so
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: that we don't have to worry about pouring from an
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: empty cup all the time, but we can actually connect
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: with our brothers and sisters. When you spend time with women,
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: which of those four disciplines are women struggling the most
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: with right now?
• 48:21
  Speaker 4: It's interesting. So I like to say that I help
• 48:23
  Speaker 4: strong women get stronger. So many of the women who
• 48:26
  Speaker 4: come to me are already strong. They're like diamonds. They
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: have already strong because of the things that they've experienced
• 48:31
  Speaker 4: in life. I feel like integrity for your platform or pillars,
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: the pillars that you have, I would say integrity is
• 48:40
  Speaker 4: what they come from because they don't understand why, despite
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: all the hard things they've done spark their love for
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: the Lord, are they still falling for these things that
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: just make them feel weak and cravings and things that
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: don't align with God and who God says they are.
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, cracks in the foundation, Like, hey, we can we
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: can fix those cracks. That doesn't have to be a
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: crack for you. I love that, Thank you. So right
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: now you are a recovering bodybuilder. I'm just kidding in
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: that sounds like it sounds like you're beyond that. But
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: so I imagine you still like to lift weights, or
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: at least you don't enjoy it, because you and my
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: wife would get along really well.
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: By the way.
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: She's like, I work out because it's good for me.
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: I don't really like it. So she's got her praise
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: and worship music turned up really loud and here while
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: she's doing her deadlifts and stuff. But right now, when
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: you are exercising, what is the top two songs that
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: you like to listen to right now?
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: Oh? Right now is a song called God Protect Me.
• 49:44
  Speaker 4: I do not know the name of this artist, but
• 49:47
  Speaker 4: it's been on repeat lately. I don't even know how
• 49:50
  Speaker 4: I got into my sphere of listening, and I was
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: just like, I just need to hear this, and I
• 49:55
  Speaker 4: guess this is just the season that I'm in. That
• 49:58
  Speaker 4: would be that. And then that Hallelujah song by Elevation
• 50:02
  Speaker 4: Warship that just came out. That one is just gets
• 50:05
  Speaker 4: you going for because I mean, I don't like I
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: love lifting more than I love Cardio and I really
• 50:11
  Speaker 4: think of Cardi No, so Cardi No. That will get
• 50:15
  Speaker 4: me moving on the elliptical for sure.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's awesome, very cool, Cardi. No, I'm going to
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: remember that one.
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: Thanks for that. All right.
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: Now, Now you mentioned you mentioned being a mom. So
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: how many kids do you have and what's what's your
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: biggest struggle in parenting right now?
• 50:35
  Speaker 4: Oh? Man, So I have three dynamic divas. I have
• 50:39
  Speaker 4: a twenty one year old, and raising adults is really
• 50:43
  Speaker 4: really hard. Right now, I have in three days she'll
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: be eighteen year old, and she is She's so much fun.
• 50:51
  Speaker 4: It's so much fun raising her. And then I have
• 50:53
  Speaker 4: the most mature out of them all, a' an eleven
• 50:55
  Speaker 4: year old, And I would say helping these future women
• 51:05
  Speaker 4: be women of God, I think is the hardest thing
• 51:08
  Speaker 4: in a world. My girls do not go to private school,
• 51:10
  Speaker 4: they don't go to Christian school, and so keeping them
• 51:13
  Speaker 4: righteous my oldest one was probably the hardest struggle for us,
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: But it's definitely with all of just having the ten
• 51:21
  Speaker 4: year gap of the twenty one and eleven year old
• 51:23
  Speaker 4: and all of the technology that my eleven year old
• 51:27
  Speaker 4: is so easily has access to is really challenging just
• 51:31
  Speaker 4: to keep her versus my twenty one year old, And
• 51:34
  Speaker 4: then just raising adults is really really hard right now.
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: Just having a conversation with a brother recently who was
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: talking about his adult son because he's got a thirteen
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: year old son at home, but he's got i think
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: a twenty one or twenty two year old son who's,
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: you know, out making his way in the world.
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: And he was like, he was like, it's just it's just.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: Different when you don't have that umbrella of can control
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: and parenting. But you also see the paths that your
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: child's walking down and you want them to try not
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: to repeat some of the mistakes you've made. But we
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: also don't want to like over lecture wisdom yourself into
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: the backseat of them saying that's just dad, that's just
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: what Dad says. And so he's like, it's the weirdest thing,
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: like trying to balance these teeth, like I want to
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: be there.
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: I want them to know I care. I also, you know,
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: want to help him, but.
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: I also can't, you know, do too much because if
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: I do, he won't listen to me.
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah sounds brutal, it.
• 52:37
  Speaker 4: Is and that and then also they're becoming adults, so
• 52:39
  Speaker 4: your mom, but you also want to be a friend,
• 52:42
  Speaker 4: but you're also want the respect of It's just it's
• 52:45
  Speaker 4: a weird space to be. It's just a weird space
• 52:48
  Speaker 4: to be. Me and my husband are just praying for
• 52:51
  Speaker 4: I mean, she's a good girl, don't get me wrong.
• 52:53
  Speaker 4: That's say it's that same thing like they're twenty one
• 52:56
  Speaker 4: and you remember twenty one, like you knew a lot
• 52:58
  Speaker 4: of things that you didn't really know anything about.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: Oh oh yeah, no, I know everything. You can tell
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: me nothing exactly.
• 53:05
  Speaker 4: So that's where we're at. We're like, we love her,
• 53:07
  Speaker 4: but we're like, oh, some of these decisions, girl, like
• 53:10
  Speaker 4: we would not have made those, but you know.
• 53:11
  Speaker 3: It is what it is. That's right.
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: So if you're a child listening to this, honor your
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: mother and father. Please pray for them. If nothing else,
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: it's just as God to help them out because because
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: we're learning how to parent too, and we don't we
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: don't know what we don't know. So all right, well,
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: this has been such a wonderful conversation. Thank you for
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: joining us. As we close here, I just want to
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: pray over you and your ministry. And before I do that,
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: I just want to ask you to address our listeners.
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: If they don't hear anything else from you today, what's
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: the one thing you want them to hear from Coach
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: d Mmm.
• 53:49
  Speaker 4: I would say one thing. There's so many things I
• 53:59
  Speaker 4: want to say. I just want to say that you're chosen,
• 54:04
  Speaker 4: you truly loved exactly how you are, and even if
• 54:10
  Speaker 4: you don't change one thing when it comes to your health,
• 54:13
  Speaker 4: God still loves you. But an honor of the one
• 54:19
  Speaker 4: body that He's given you, treat it right and whatever
• 54:24
  Speaker 4: right is for you, that is just you and God.
• 54:27
  Speaker 4: But I just honestly, we're only here for just a miss,
• 54:32
  Speaker 4: just a moment, and so in order to serve our Father, well,
• 54:35
  Speaker 4: we have to be well.
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: So love well, well said, well said pray with me.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: Coach Father God, thank you so much for this day,
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: thank you for the opportunity to spend time with my sister,
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: and thank you for our listeners here on the Faithful
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: Fitness Podcast. God, I lift her up, and I lift
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: up her ministry as she works to help women to
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: walk in the calling that You've laid on their lives
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: and to do so healed and hole in Jesus name.
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: Got to pray a special blessing over her as a
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: mother as she mothers her daughters, even the adult ones.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: I pray Lord that you would give her wisdom and
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: grace in that endeavor. I also pray that you would
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: help them to grow into the strong young women you
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: created them to be. Yes, Lord, I pray also that
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: you would bless the listeners who have been a part
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: of this conversation today. God, I feel it in my
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: spirit that you want them to move forward in some
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: way that deep down inside they know there's something broken
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: and they want they want healing, but they don't know
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: exactly where to find it or how to move in that. So, Lord,
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: I just pray that your Holy Spirit would meet them there,
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: lay on their heart where they need not to be isolated,
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: that they need to seek connection. And I also pray
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: that you would lay it on their heart how they
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: need to open that to you and to people you've
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: put in their life to connect with deeply. We love you, Lord,
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: We're so grateful for you, and we trust you and
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: Jesus' name. Aymen, Thank you Coach. I appreciate your time
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: today and to our listeners guys, this has been Coach
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: Alex Van Houghton on the Faithful Fitness podcast.
• 56:12
  Speaker 3: Until next time, train hard, but pray harder.
• 56:16
  Speaker 5: What's up, Faithful? This episode helped you, share it with
• 56:20
  Speaker 5: someone who needs to hear it, and don't forget to subscribe.
• 56:23
  Speaker 4: And need a review.
• 56:25
  Speaker 5: Some more people can find Faithful Fitness. My dad's devotional
• 56:30
  Speaker 5: Faithful Fitness is available now and you can join our
• 56:34
  Speaker 5: Faithful Fitness community by clicking the links in the show notes.
• 56:39
  Speaker 5: We all have a cross to carry, put each lighter
• 56:42
  Speaker 5: when we do it together see how Lay You an Alligator?
• 56:46
  Speaker 5: But until then, train hard and pray even harder.