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Hypnosis to Stop the Sprial Into Self Doubt and Self Loathing · The Hypnotist

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Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing genuine
0:07
issues. Brought to you by the
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hypnotherapist, demanded by celebrities, CEOs and even
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royalty. Adam Cox.
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These recordings took place live from Adam's clinic in London's
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world famous Harley Street. This podcast features powerful
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hypnosis, so do not listen while driving or operating machinery.
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This recording is not suitable for those with epilepsy or
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severe mental health issues, so get yourself comfortable and
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enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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Hi, it's Adam here. And in today's episode of The
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Hypnotist, you're going to be listening to a hypnosis session.
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Based. On a real session with the.
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Client that would. Get themselves into a spiral of
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self criticism, self doubt and self loathing.
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So typically what they would do is they would be in some kind of
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work situation quite often. Maybe it's being asked something
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and they had this feeling that they had to know the answer and
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immediately. Or maybe it was something they
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were being judged on. Or maybe they weren't being
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judged on, but they were judging themselves.
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But basically, they didn't meet incredibly, some would say
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impossibly high standards. And because of that, that then
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led to an internal onslaught of criticism.
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So whether you use this idea of a spiral or like one thing
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connects to the other, connects to the other.
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Some people call it a catch 22 or a vicious cycle.
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You know, all this element of a domino is more like a chain
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reaction. The first domino hits, the
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second hits, the third hits, the 4th like a chain reaction.
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It still links to the same thing for them.
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The starting point of all of this was impossibly high
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standards. And when you've got impossibly
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high standards, your probability of not meeting those impossibly
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high standards is very high, in which case you're highly likely
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then to fail because you didn't meet those standards, and then
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the chain reaction takes place. So if you feel that this is you,
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that you beat yourself up a lot very harsh, you know, you
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criticize yourself, you feel this element of you're a fraud,
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you're worthless. Like people are going to find
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you out and then catastrophize that.
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So you're going to lose your job, you're going to lose your
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relationship, you're going to lose XY and Z.
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You could probably connect with the essence of this.
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Now for them, they felt a heaviness like a like a
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twisting, not in their gut, but in their chest.
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And that's where the self loathing and the self doubt
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really based. So there is elements here of
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standard hypnotherapy with direct suggestions.
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There are metaphors, even the induction is a metaphor of a of
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a spiral, but also submodality shifts.
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And one of the things that in the early days of NLP Richard
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Bandler would talk about is this idea of these kinesthetic
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feelings inside the body quite often felt like they moved, like
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they twisted. And for this.
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Client it. Did it twisted in a clockwise
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direction? It felt like it was in their
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chest. So.
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Pulling it out and then doing the opposite and changing those
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submodalities can be very, very powerful to make someone feel
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different because effectively these are sensations, these are
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subjective evaluations, but they're true and real for that
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individual. Everyone's had this sense of,
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you know, feeling like some something isn't right.
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And that's how I feel it in my gut.
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Something's not right here. These are sensations, real
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sensations that feel real for that individual and they are
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linked to evaluations, emotions and and those kind of things.
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And when you change them, it actually changes a lot of
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things. So this is a 2 pronged attack,
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changing these impossibly high standards to manageable
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standards and manageable expectations, but also having
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the ability to reverse the spirals so it works for them
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rather than against them. So if you are harsh on yourself,
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you might benefit from this. It was created for someone
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specific, so you know, use what's useful, disregard what
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isn't. And if you like the idea of
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working with me directly, either go to my website
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whichisadamcox.co.uk or check a link in the show notes for an
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ability to schedule at a time that suits you.
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A free 30 minute consultation on Zoom.
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We'll have a chat and we'll see if I'm the right hypnotherapist
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for you. I may not be, but then again, I
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may be. And if you've listened to a lot
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of my sessions, your unconscious is already in rapport with my
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voice. You probably have an element of
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trust and confidence in me, which is why you keep listening
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to me. And therefore, as a
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hypnotherapist, I'm more likely to get results with you than
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someone that you don't know, you don't have that same level of
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trust or credibility and and your unconscious isn't in
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rapport with their voice. So a tiny bit of a sales pitch
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there for me. But I.
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Love doing hypnotherapy. I love working with people.
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And I have had feedback from people actually that because I'm
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on a quite a popular podcast and produce so much stuff, there's
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this idea that I'm out of reach and it would be impossible to
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work with me. And that intro of, you know,
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working with celebrities and CEOs, people say, well, that's
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not me, I'm not a celebrity, I'm not ACEO.
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Yeah, that's all true. I have worked with celebrity
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CEOs and royalty, but most of my sessions are everyday people
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motivated to make a change. And if that sounds like you,
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click that link, we'll have a chat.
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And maybe I become your hypnotherapist as well as
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hypnotherapist to the rich and famous too.
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So anyway, that's my sales pitch over.
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Hope that's useful for now though.
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For this session. Find a quiet, comfortable place
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where you won't be disturbed. Relax and enjoy the session.
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Take a deep breath in, and as you breathe in, breathe in a
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feeling of resourceful relaxation.
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And as you exhale, just allow any feelings of stress, worry,
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or tension to feel like it's leaving your body as you exhale,
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breathing in that feeling of resourcefulness and exhaling
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that tension. And just scan your body for any
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clues of tension. Maybe it's in your jaw, your
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neck, your shoulders, your forehead.
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And give permission for that tension to be released as you
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breathe in that relaxation. Allow the tension to dissolve,
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to melt away and feel it leave your body almost like a dark
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mist as you breathe out, enabling you to feel deeper and
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deeper, relaxed with each and every breath.
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I want you to get a sense that you're feeling more and more
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comfortable, and I want you to get a sense that you're about to
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go even deeper. I want you to use the power of
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your imagination to imagine a gigantic water slide, but I want
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you to imagine this water slide in a very specific shape.
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I want you to imagine it like a giant spiral.
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It's high up. It ends up in a warm pool of
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water, but it starts off wide, and then it gets narrower and
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narrower until it reaches the point where the water slide
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ends. And then you would fall into the
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water. And I want you to get a sense
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that this spiral is fun, reminding you of wonderful
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childhood memories where there was no expectations, nothing you
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had to do, right? All you needed to do was to
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slide and allow gravity to take you downwards.
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And I wonder if you could imagine what colour this water
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slide is. Is it a bright colour like
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yellow or blue or orange? And is there flowing water in
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the slide? Perhaps you can imagine being in
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your own water park, standing at the top of this giant spiral
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slide. And very soon I will count
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downwards from 12:50. When I say the number 10, you
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will imagine launching yourself into this spiral.
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And as I count downwards, you will imagine going down the
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spiral slide, and perhaps you can even slow down time that if
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it would take just a few seconds to go down this slide, make it
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slower, like you're going down the spiral slide in slow motion.
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10 launching into the slide, feeling a sense of fun, freedom,
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liberation, nothing to do, nothing to get right, just
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enjoy. And then nine.
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Continue down this spiral and as you go down the spiral, feel
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your body getting more relaxed, particularly your eyelids, your
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forehead. As nine becomes 8, continue down
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the spiral slide, releasing any tension, particularly in your
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neck and shoulders. You're feeling looser.
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And then seven, just feel your arms so relaxed and loose.
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Think of the loosest thing you can think of, maybe something
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like a damp cloth. No tension there at all.
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And then six, think of everything connected to your
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breathing, your nostrils, your windpipe, your lungs, even your
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diaphragm, and allow it all to relax.
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That's it. Five, you're halfway down this
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spiral slide now, but now you're relaxing all of your internal
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organs. Your lungs are already relaxed,
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but now relax your heart, your stomach, and in particular your
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gut. Just allow it to relax even
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deeper as five becomes 4 and that relaxation spreads
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downwards into your legs, and then three all the way down to
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your feet and then two. Just imagine it rippling up from
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your toes to the top of your head and then one down to the
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top of your head and down to the very bottom of your toes and the
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tips of your fingers, and then zero.
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Just imagine falling out of that spiral slide into a relaxing
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pool of warm water. But imagine you've got this
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water park all to yourself and find a very specific place in
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this water park that you would feel relaxed.
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And maybe it's some kind of Whirlpool or jacuzzi, or maybe
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it's a sun lounger or maybe something else.
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When you found that place to relax in, let me know by nodding
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your head. That's it.
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Feel yourself getting even deeper relaxed now in that
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relaxing place. As you look at that spiral, you
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get a sense. Then the moment you jumped into
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the top of that spiral slide, everything else happened all by
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itself. Gravity just took you all the
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way down. But if you never went into the
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slide, everything that followed also wouldn't have happened.
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I don't want you to think of the spirals that happened in your
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life, the chain reactions where one small thing leads to
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something else and leads to something else.
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And maybe some of these things relate to work and I wonder if
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there's certain ingredients that need to be there for some kind
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of chain reactions take place. I want you to think back to
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something that caused this spiral and maybe link it to did
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you have conscious or unconscious impossibly high
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standards? Words like should or enough give
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clues that the goal posts can always be moved if the thought
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is connected to I should have known that we should have done
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better. That wasn't enough.
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These are all clues that impossibly high standards are
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the very start of that spiral. And if it feels like that's
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true, let me know about nodding your head.
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I don't want you to get a sense of thinking about one of these
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things that caused the spiral and lowering your standards and
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expectations so that you absolutely exceed those very
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manageable expectations. Some people have the expectation
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that they will do their best. As long as they do their best,
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then that's enough. Some people have this idea, then
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they will try hard notice that when the expectations are linked
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to things that. You control.
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Your effort, your intention, your inclination, these become
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more manageably achievable. But when the standard is done,
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everything has to be perfect. Everything has to be 100% that
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if you could have done something even a tiny bit better than it
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wasn't enough. These are clues of impossibly
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high standards that you can never meet.
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Which is fine if it doesn't bother you that much, but if it
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creates a chain reaction, a spiral within you that it's
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hurting you, not helping you, I want you to decide on what feels
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like the perfect balance. Something that means you are
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diligent, ethical, you work hard, you concentrate, you think
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something through, but not impossibly high.
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Maybe good enough is that you do something that you believe is
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right at the time. Maybe you give 80% of your
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attention on something, knowing that 99 times out of 100 that
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will be more than enough. Think how much attention you
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give to walking, perhaps 0 or just 1% unless something in
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particular happens. And notice the less you think
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about walking, the better you do it.
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And your criteria for walking well is simply getting to
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wherever you want to get to, and therefore you already know what
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it's like to have winnable expectations.
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If success at walking is that you had to walk at the exact
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pace, in the exact rhythm, in a particular way in order to walk
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well, you would even get walking wrong.
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But you don't. As long as you get to where you
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want to get to, the way you walk is good enough and allow your
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mind to take this idea and map it across to how you work.
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You already know how to do most of this stuff.
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You can do it without thinking most of the time, and therefore
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enough is simply doing your best or meeting the expectations of
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someone else, so long as they're fair.
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And when your mind has adjusted these impossibly high
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expectations to realistic ones, let me know by nodding your
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head. And now it's time to think about
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implications. Catastrophization is where
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something small happens, but people assume it's going to have
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some devastating consequence. Most people have heard of the
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butterfly effect. If a butterfly flaps it's wings
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in the Amazon, it can create tornadoes in the Sahara.
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Or theoretically it could. If all it took was a butterfly
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to flap its wings to guarantee that happening, there would be
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devastation all around the world all the time.
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And there isn't. Just because something could
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happen doesn't mean it will happen.
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I want you to come to the conclusion, but whatever
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consequences or implications happen in your life, deserved or
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not, you can handle them. If your job doesn't work out,
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you can get another one. If a particular interaction
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doesn't work out, there will be other interactions.
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I want you to come to the conclusion that whatever
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happens, you'll be fine. It will all work out for you.
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I want you to get a sense that sometimes when bad things
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happen, they lead to good things.
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As you relax there in that water park, just imagine a scene in
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your mind's eye. Someone going to work in a job
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they really don't like, in an environment that isn't perfect
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for them. It pays well, some of the work
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is stimulating. It's not the right thing for
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them, but it's not enough to quit, not bad enough to not want
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to go there. And they're doing enough not to
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get fired. I want you to see that that
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person is in the wrong place but they will never quit because it
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isn't bad enough. Imagine this person at the job
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they don't really enjoy gets a really toxic horrible boss,
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makes their life a misery, makes it so bad that they do quit, and
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then they go on and find a much better job in a much better
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environment that makes them so much happier.
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Sometimes good things come from bad things, and sometimes it
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requires something really bad to lead to something much better.
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I want you to get a sense. Then you have infinitely more
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possibilities and options than you realise.
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You can handle whatever life throws at you, and if you've
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come to the conclusion, then whatever happens, you can
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manage. Let me know by nodding your
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head. That's in so now imagine that
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spiral, but no longer being a sly.
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Imagine a feeling in your chest. Go back to that time when you
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felt that heaviness there and when you can feel it, let me
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know by nodding your head. And just imagine you create a
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hologram version of it outside of your chest.
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If that sensation was an image, what would it be and what
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material would it be made from and would it be moving in a
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particular direction? And just imagine this hologram
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doing all of those things proportionate to what you're
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feeling. And if it looks like something
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heavy and perhaps moving in a particular pace, and you can
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imagine it like a hologram outside of your chest, just let
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me know about nodding your head. And I want you to try something.
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Try changing the material or even the shape of that thing so
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it becomes so much lighter. Maybe make it of feathers or
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carbon fibre, lightweight plastic, something so light and
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notice how it changes how you feel inside.
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Change the colour of it, the texture of it to make it really
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bright and fun. Imagine changing the direction
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of it and notice when you change the direction and the colour and
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the weight and the shape, the feeling also changes.
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And maybe when you spin it in the other direction it gives the
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opposite feeling. A feeling of capability,
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competency, self doubt turns to self trust.
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There's belief in your own abilities.
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A feeling that whatever happens, you'll either win or you'll
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learn, but either way, you're better off trusting yourself
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than doubting yourself. When this feeling becomes light
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where you trust yourself and confident, let me know by
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nodding your head and then place the hologram back in that exact
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location to keep it spinning in that new direction, that new
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colour, that new lightness. The trust is now the default way
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you will trust yourself unless there is irrefutable evidence
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not to. You will believe you can do
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something unless there is. Absolute.
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Evidence that you can't. You will start from the basis of
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competency, self belief and self trust unless there is enough
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evidence to dispel that. And in doing so, don't be
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surprised if when you get a question, you respond quickly.
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You quickly check something if you're not.
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Sure, but you? Go with your gut.
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You trust that you have the competency, you trust that
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everything will be fine, and if it isn't, you'll learn from it.
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I want you to get a sense that this feels more liberating, more
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free, that you get to enjoy your work and your life much more.
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And when it feels like this is how it's feeling now, you've
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lowered those impossibly high standards, created a belief that
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whatever happens you'll be fine, and felt that that heavy feeling
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is now giving you energy rather than taking it, giving you.
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Confidence. Rather than criticism, let me
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know by nodding your head. That's it.
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It's time to take all of these feelings back.
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And don't be surprised, in the next few days and weeks you
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start making different evaluations.
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It's what you do that sets the expectation, not something
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impossible to achieve. Catastrophization is replaced
29:25
with perspective, a deep conviction that whatever
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happens, you'll be OK, and a growing sense that you can trust
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yourself, that most of your work is just like walking, and the
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less you think about it, the better it becomes.
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So take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your
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nose. Just wiggle your fingers and
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wiggle your toes. Connect fully into the here and
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now as I now count from 1:00 to 10:00 to awaken you.
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Starting to count. 123 waking up 456, more alert. 7-8.
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Open your eyes. Open your eyes 910 Wide awake,
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Wide awake. Wide awake.
30:27
Thank you for listening to The Hypnotist with Adam Cox, the
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show that gives you inside access to cutting edge hypnosis
30:34
with real clients facing genuine issues.
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