Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 320: Tammys takes #23: Emotional Numbness, Childhood Trauma & Nervous System Healing

Transcript

E 320: Tammys takes #23: Emotional Numbness, Childhood Trauma & Nervous System Healing · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:47
  Well,
• 0:47
  hello,
• 0:48
  everybody.
• 0:48
  Welcome
• 0:48
  back
• 0:48
  to
• 0:49
  Tammy's
• 0:49
  Takes,
• 0:49
  where
• 0:49
  we
• 0:50
  take
• 0:50
  powerful
• 0:50
  conversations
• 0:51
  with
• 0:51
  our
• 0:51
  guests
• 0:51
  and
• 0:52
  turn
• 0:52
  them
• 0:52
  into
• 0:52
  practical
• 0:53
  strategies
• 0:53
  you
• 0:54
  can
• 0:54
  use
• 0:54
  right
• 0:54
  here,
• 0:55
  right
• 0:55
  now.
• 0:56
  So
• 0:56
  today
• 0:56
  I
• 0:56
  am
• 0:56
  going
• 0:57
  back
• 0:57
  to
• 0:57
  yesterday's
• 0:58
  episode
• 0:58
  with
• 0:58
  Megan
• 0:59
  Mergario,
• 0:59
  and
• 1:00
  I
• 1:00
  want
• 1:00
  to
• 1:00
  talk
• 1:00
  about
• 1:01
  something
• 1:01
  that
• 1:01
  I
• 1:02
  think
• 1:02
  many
• 1:02
  of
• 1:02
  you
• 1:03
  are
• 1:03
  going
• 1:03
  to
• 1:03
  really
• 1:04
  find
• 1:04
  hit
• 1:04
  home,
• 1:05
  especially
• 1:06
  if
• 1:06
  you
• 1:06
  grew
• 1:06
  up
• 1:06
  in
• 1:07
  the
• 1:07
  kind
• 1:07
  of
• 1:07
  chaos
• 1:07
  that
• 1:08
  we
• 1:08
  talk
• 1:08
  about
• 1:08
  on
• 1:08
  this
• 1:09
  program.
• 1:09
  The
• 1:09
  emotional
• 1:09
  neglect,
• 1:10
  the
• 1:10
  addiction.
• 1:11
  We
• 1:11
  talked
• 1:12
  yesterday
• 1:12
  about
• 1:13
  emotional
• 1:13
  numbness,
• 1:14
  and
• 1:14
  I
• 1:15
  want
• 1:15
  to
• 1:15
  say
• 1:15
  something
• 1:15
  right
• 1:16
  off
• 1:16
  the
• 1:16
  gate,
• 1:16
  and
• 1:16
  I
• 1:17
  think
• 1:17
  people
• 1:17
  need
• 1:17
  to
• 1:17
  hear
• 1:17
  it.
• 1:18
  Just
• 1:18
  because
• 1:18
  you're
• 1:19
  functioning
• 1:19
  doesn't
• 1:20
  mean
• 1:20
  you're
• 1:20
  feeling.
• 1:21
  Just
• 1:21
  because
• 1:22
  you're
• 1:22
  functioning
• 1:23
  doesn't
• 1:24
  mean
• 1:24
  you
• 1:25
  are
• 1:25
  feeling.
• 1:26
  You
• 1:26
  can
• 1:26
  be
• 1:27
  successful,
• 1:27
  you
• 1:27
  can
• 1:28
  be
• 1:28
  helper,
• 1:28
  you
• 1:28
  can
• 1:29
  be
• 1:29
  a
• 1:29
  fixer,
• 1:29
  you
• 1:30
  can
• 1:30
  be
• 1:30
  the
• 1:30
  strong
• 1:30
  one.
• 1:31
  You
• 1:31
  can
• 1:31
  even
• 1:31
  be
• 1:31
  the
• 1:31
  person
• 1:32
  everybody
• 1:32
  comes
• 1:32
  to,
• 1:33
  and
• 1:33
  you
• 1:33
  can
• 1:34
  still
• 1:34
  feel
• 1:34
  completely
• 1:35
  disconnected
• 1:36
  from
• 1:36
  yourself.
• 1:37
  That
• 1:37
  numbness
• 1:37
  doesn't
• 1:38
  mean
• 1:38
  you're
• 1:38
  broken.
• 1:39
  It
• 1:39
  usually
• 1:39
  means
• 1:39
  that
• 1:40
  your
• 1:40
  nervous
• 1:40
  system
• 1:40
  just
• 1:41
  learned
• 1:41
  how
• 1:41
  to
• 1:41
  survive.
• 1:42
  And
• 1:42
  it
• 1:42
  was
• 1:42
  an
• 1:42
  overwhelm
• 1:43
  for
• 1:43
  so
• 1:43
  long,
• 1:43
  and.
• 1:44
  And
• 1:44
  now
• 1:44
  it
• 1:44
  needs
• 1:44
  to
• 1:45
  kind
• 1:45
  of
• 1:45
  slow
• 1:45
  down.
• 1:45
  And
• 1:46
  in
• 1:46
  order
• 1:46
  to
• 1:46
  do
• 1:46
  that,
• 1:47
  to
• 1:47
  protect
• 1:47
  itself,
• 1:47
  it
• 1:48
  literally
• 1:48
  shuts
• 1:49
  down
• 1:49
  and
• 1:49
  you
• 1:49
  become
• 1:49
  emotionally
• 1:50
  numb.
• 1:51
  One
• 1:51
  thing
• 1:51
  that
• 1:51
  Megan
• 1:52
  really
• 1:52
  stood
• 1:53
  out
• 1:53
  for
• 1:53
  me
• 1:54
  was
• 1:54
  the
• 1:54
  idea
• 1:55
  when
• 1:55
  she
• 1:55
  talked
• 1:55
  about
• 1:56
  that
• 1:56
  numbness
• 1:57
  being
• 1:57
  protective.
• 1:58
  Wow.
• 1:58
  It
• 1:59
  hit
• 1:59
  hard,
• 1:59
  because
• 2:00
  it
• 2:00
  makes
• 2:00
  sense.
• 2:01
  If
• 2:01
  you
• 2:01
  grew
• 2:01
  up
• 2:01
  in
• 2:01
  dysfunction,
• 2:02
  you
• 2:02
  probably
• 2:03
  learned
• 2:03
  very
• 2:03
  early
• 2:04
  that
• 2:04
  emotions
• 2:04
  weren't
• 2:05
  safe.
• 2:06
  Crying
• 2:06
  wasn't
• 2:07
  safe.
• 2:07
  Anger
• 2:07
  wasn't
• 2:08
  safe.
• 2:08
  Speaking
• 2:09
  up
• 2:09
  sometimes
• 2:09
  was
• 2:10
  not
• 2:10
  safe.
• 2:10
  And
• 2:11
  most
• 2:11
  certainly
• 2:12
  having
• 2:12
  your
• 2:12
  needs
• 2:12
  met
• 2:13
  was
• 2:13
  not
• 2:13
  safe.
• 2:14
  So
• 2:14
  your
• 2:14
  nervous
• 2:15
  system
• 2:15
  did
• 2:15
  exactly
• 2:16
  what
• 2:16
  it
• 2:16
  was
• 2:16
  designed
• 2:17
  to
• 2:17
  do.
• 2:17
  It
• 2:17
  adapted.
• 2:18
  It
• 2:18
  protected
• 2:19
  you.
• 2:19
  And
• 2:20
  for
• 2:20
  so
• 2:20
  many
• 2:20
  people,
• 2:20
  that
• 2:21
  protection
• 2:21
  looks
• 2:22
  like
• 2:22
  shutting
• 2:22
  down,
• 2:23
  not
• 2:23
  feeling,
• 2:24
  but
• 2:24
  rather
• 2:24
  disconnecting.
• 2:25
  And
• 2:26
  when
• 2:26
  you
• 2:26
  disconnect
• 2:27
  for
• 2:27
  so
• 2:27
  long,
• 2:27
  you
• 2:28
  become
• 2:28
  numb.
• 2:29
  Can't
• 2:29
  feel
• 2:30
  anything.
• 2:30
  No
• 2:30
  happy,
• 2:31
  no
• 2:31
  sad,
• 2:32
  nothing.
• 2:32
  You
• 2:32
  feel
• 2:33
  nothing.
• 2:34
  Because
• 2:35
  let's
• 2:35
  face
• 2:36
  it,
• 2:36
  the
• 2:36
  hard
• 2:36
  truth
• 2:37
  is
• 2:37
  you
• 2:38
  don't
• 2:38
  just
• 2:38
  numb
• 2:38
  the
• 2:39
  pain.
• 2:39
  You
• 2:39
  numb
• 2:40
  everything.
• 2:41
  So
• 2:41
  when
• 2:41
  you
• 2:41
  numb,
• 2:42
  when
• 2:42
  you
• 2:42
  become
• 2:42
  so
• 2:42
  emotionally
• 2:43
  disconnected
• 2:43
  that
• 2:44
  your
• 2:44
  body
• 2:44
  feels
• 2:44
  the
• 2:44
  need
• 2:44
  to
• 2:45
  numb,
• 2:45
  you
• 2:46
  don't
• 2:46
  only
• 2:46
  just
• 2:46
  numb
• 2:47
  the
• 2:47
  pain.
• 2:47
  You
• 2:47
  also
• 2:48
  numb
• 2:48
  the
• 2:48
  excitement
• 2:49
  and
• 2:49
  the
• 2:49
  joy
• 2:50
  and
• 2:50
  the
• 2:50
  peace
• 2:50
  and
• 2:51
  the
• 2:51
  ability
• 2:51
  to
• 2:52
  feel
• 2:52
  safe
• 2:52
  and
• 2:53
  the
• 2:53
  ability
• 2:53
  to
• 2:53
  trust
• 2:54
  and
• 2:55
  feel
• 2:55
  goodness
• 2:56
  and
• 2:56
  love
• 2:56
  and
• 2:56
  all
• 2:56
  those
• 2:57
  things.
• 2:58
  So
• 2:58
  that
• 2:58
  is
• 2:58
  why
• 2:58
  so
• 2:59
  many
• 2:59
  adult
• 2:59
  children
• 2:59
  of
• 3:00
  dysfunction,
• 3:00
  they
• 3:00
  tell
• 3:01
  me,
• 3:01
  tammy,
• 3:02
  I
• 3:02
  should
• 3:02
  be
• 3:02
  happy.
• 3:03
  Nothing
• 3:03
  is
• 3:03
  technically
• 3:04
  wrong
• 3:04
  with
• 3:04
  me.
• 3:05
  I
• 3:05
  have
• 3:05
  a
• 3:05
  good
• 3:05
  life.
• 3:06
  So
• 3:06
  why
• 3:06
  do
• 3:06
  I
• 3:06
  still
• 3:07
  feel
• 3:07
  like
• 3:07
  this?
• 3:09
  Because
• 3:09
  survival
• 3:09
  mode
• 3:10
  does
• 3:10
  not
• 3:10
  know
• 3:10
  how
• 3:11
  to
• 3:11
  relax.
• 3:11
  It
• 3:12
  just
• 3:12
  doesn't.
• 3:13
  It
• 3:13
  only
• 3:14
  knows
• 3:14
  scanning
• 3:15
  what's
• 3:15
  wrong?
• 3:15
  What's
• 3:16
  going
• 3:16
  to
• 3:16
  happen
• 3:16
  next?
• 3:17
  Who's
• 3:17
  going
• 3:17
  to
• 3:17
  fall
• 3:17
  apart?
• 3:18
  Who's
• 3:18
  upset?
• 3:19
  Who
• 3:19
  do
• 3:19
  I
• 3:19
  need
• 3:19
  to
• 3:19
  fix?
• 3:20
  How
• 3:20
  do
• 3:20
  I
• 3:20
  stay
• 3:20
  safe?
• 3:21
  And
• 3:21
  after
• 3:22
  years
• 3:22
  of
• 3:22
  doing
• 3:22
  that,
• 3:23
  you
• 3:24
  forget,
• 3:24
  honestly,
• 3:25
  what
• 3:25
  it
• 3:25
  feels
• 3:25
  like
• 3:26
  to
• 3:26
  just
• 3:26
  simply
• 3:26
  be.
• 3:27
  To
• 3:28
  just
• 3:28
  be
• 3:28
  you.
• 3:30
  Now
• 3:30
  here's
• 3:31
  the
• 3:31
  part
• 3:31
  people
• 3:31
  don't
• 3:31
  expect.
• 3:33
  The
• 3:33
  thing
• 3:33
  that
• 3:34
  feels
• 3:34
  the
• 3:34
  most
• 3:34
  uncomfortable
• 3:35
  in
• 3:35
  healing
• 3:36
  is
• 3:37
  often
• 3:37
  the
• 3:37
  joy,
• 3:38
  the
• 3:38
  safety,
• 3:39
  the
• 3:39
  peace,
• 3:39
  the
• 3:39
  love,
• 3:40
  the
• 3:40
  calm.
• 3:40
  The
• 3:40
  things
• 3:40
  you
• 3:41
  weren't
• 3:41
  used
• 3:41
  to
• 3:41
  getting.
• 3:43
  And
• 3:43
  that's
• 3:43
  the
• 3:43
  question
• 3:44
  I
• 3:44
  get
• 3:44
  the
• 3:44
  most
• 3:44
  often,
• 3:45
  because
• 3:45
  they
• 3:45
  say
• 3:46
  that
• 3:46
  sounds
• 3:46
  crazy.
• 3:47
  But
• 3:47
  think
• 3:48
  about
• 3:48
  it.
• 3:48
  If
• 3:48
  chaos
• 3:49
  was
• 3:49
  familiar,
• 3:51
  peace
• 3:52
  maybe
• 3:52
  might
• 3:52
  have
• 3:53
  felt
• 3:53
  a
• 3:53
  little
• 3:53
  suspicious.
• 3:54
  Like
• 3:54
  you
• 3:54
  were
• 3:54
  used
• 3:55
  to
• 3:55
  chaos,
• 3:55
  you
• 3:55
  weren't
• 3:55
  used
• 3:56
  to
• 3:56
  peace.
• 3:56
  So
• 3:56
  peace
• 3:57
  came
• 3:57
  along
• 3:57
  and
• 3:57
  you
• 3:57
  had
• 3:58
  a
• 3:58
  moment
• 3:58
  where
• 3:58
  it
• 3:58
  was
• 3:58
  peaceful.
• 3:59
  You
• 3:59
  were
• 4:00
  curious,
• 4:01
  you
• 4:01
  questioned
• 4:01
  it,
• 4:02
  you
• 4:02
  didn't
• 4:03
  embrace
• 4:03
  it,
• 4:04
  really.
• 4:04
  If
• 4:05
  you
• 4:05
  had
• 4:05
  to
• 4:05
  learn
• 4:06
  to
• 4:06
  earn
• 4:06
  love
• 4:07
  when
• 4:07
  you
• 4:07
  were
• 4:07
  younger,
• 4:08
  a
• 4:08
  healthy
• 4:09
  love
• 4:09
  feels
• 4:10
  very
• 4:10
  uncomfortable.
• 4:11
  And
• 4:11
  if
• 4:11
  your
• 4:11
  nervous
• 4:12
  system
• 4:12
  was
• 4:12
  wired
• 4:12
  for
• 4:13
  danger,
• 4:14
  calm
• 4:14
  feels
• 4:15
  very
• 4:15
  unfamiliar
• 4:16
  sometimes.
• 4:16
  Because
• 4:17
  people
• 4:17
  sabotage
• 4:18
  good
• 4:18
  things,
• 4:19
  and
• 4:20
  not
• 4:21
  because
• 4:21
  they
• 4:21
  want
• 4:21
  bad
• 4:22
  things,
• 4:22
  but
• 4:23
  because
• 4:23
  their
• 4:23
  body
• 4:24
  trusts
• 4:24
  familiar
• 4:25
  things.
• 4:25
  And
• 4:25
  that
• 4:25
  is
• 4:26
  huge.
• 4:26
  That
• 4:26
  is
• 4:26
  a
• 4:26
  point
• 4:26
  I
• 4:27
  really,
• 4:27
  really
• 4:27
  want
• 4:28
  to
• 4:28
  dig
• 4:28
  home.
• 4:29
  Your
• 4:29
  body
• 4:29
  trusts
• 4:30
  familiar
• 4:31
  before
• 4:31
  it
• 4:31
  trusts
• 4:31
  healthy.
• 4:32
  So
• 4:32
  even
• 4:32
  though
• 4:33
  a
• 4:33
  pattern
• 4:33
  or
• 4:34
  an
• 4:34
  attitude
• 4:34
  or
• 4:35
  a
• 4:35
  feeling
• 4:35
  or
• 4:35
  a
• 4:35
  belief
• 4:36
  might
• 4:36
  be
• 4:36
  toxic
• 4:37
  and
• 4:37
  you
• 4:37
  might
• 4:37
  know
• 4:38
  in
• 4:38
  your
• 4:38
  mind
• 4:39
  that
• 4:39
  that
• 4:40
  is
• 4:40
  a
• 4:40
  bad
• 4:40
  choice,
• 4:42
  you
• 4:42
  still
• 4:43
  go
• 4:43
  there
• 4:43
  because
• 4:43
  it's
• 4:44
  familiarity.
• 4:44
  It's
• 4:45
  what
• 4:45
  your
• 4:45
  brain
• 4:45
  knows.
• 4:45
  Your
• 4:46
  brain
• 4:46
  likes
• 4:46
  the
• 4:46
  path
• 4:47
  of
• 4:47
  least
• 4:47
  resistance.
• 4:48
  And
• 4:48
  that
• 4:48
  doesn't
• 4:49
  make
• 4:49
  you
• 4:49
  bad,
• 4:49
  it
• 4:49
  doesn't
• 4:50
  make
• 4:50
  you
• 4:50
  broken.
• 4:51
  It
• 4:51
  doesn't
• 4:52
  mean
• 4:52
  that
• 4:52
  you're
• 4:52
  actually
• 4:52
  self
• 4:53
  sabotaging
• 4:53
  yourself
• 4:54
  on
• 4:54
  purpose,
• 4:55
  that
• 4:55
  your
• 4:55
  nervous
• 4:56
  system
• 4:56
  needs
• 4:56
  more
• 4:57
  time
• 4:57
  to
• 4:57
  just
• 4:57
  learn.
• 4:58
  I'm
• 4:58
  safe
• 4:58
  now,
• 4:59
  so
• 5:00
  I
• 5:00
  have
• 5:00
  a
• 5:00
  little
• 5:00
  practice.
• 5:01
  Because
• 5:01
  you
• 5:01
  know
• 5:01
  me,
• 5:01
  I
• 5:02
  always
• 5:02
  got
• 5:02
  to
• 5:02
  give
• 5:02
  you
• 5:02
  a
• 5:02
  little
• 5:02
  practice.
• 5:03
  And
• 5:03
  I
• 5:03
  call
• 5:04
  it
• 5:04
  the
• 5:04
  goodness
• 5:04
  practice.
• 5:05
  It's
• 5:06
  something
• 5:06
  practical
• 5:06
  that
• 5:07
  you
• 5:07
  can
• 5:07
  take
• 5:08
  that
• 5:08
  I
• 5:08
  kind
• 5:08
  of
• 5:08
  took
• 5:09
  from
• 5:09
  the
• 5:09
  conversation
• 5:09
  with
• 5:10
  Megan
• 5:10
  and
• 5:10
  you
• 5:10
  can
• 5:11
  apply
• 5:11
  it
• 5:11
  today.
• 5:12
  And
• 5:13
  before
• 5:13
  you
• 5:13
  roll
• 5:14
  your
• 5:14
  eyes
• 5:14
  and
• 5:14
  think,
• 5:15
  oh,
• 5:15
  God,
• 5:15
  Tammy,
• 5:16
  here
• 5:16
  we
• 5:16
  go,
• 5:16
  a
• 5:16
  little
• 5:17
  bit
• 5:17
  more
• 5:17
  toxic
• 5:18
  positivity.
• 5:18
  No,
• 5:19
  this
• 5:19
  is
• 5:20
  not
• 5:20
  about
• 5:20
  pretending
• 5:20
  life
• 5:21
  is
• 5:21
  perfect.
• 5:21
  It's
• 5:22
  not
• 5:22
  about
• 5:22
  ignoring
• 5:23
  the
• 5:23
  hard
• 5:23
  things
• 5:23
  or
• 5:23
  the
• 5:24
  bad
• 5:24
  things.
• 5:24
  This
• 5:25
  is
• 5:25
  not
• 5:25
  just
• 5:25
  think
• 5:26
  positive
• 5:26
  and
• 5:26
  you'll
• 5:26
  get
• 5:27
  over
• 5:27
  it.
• 5:27
  This
• 5:27
  is
• 5:28
  nervous
• 5:28
  system
• 5:28
  retraining.
• 5:29
  So
• 5:29
  here's
• 5:30
  what
• 5:30
  I
• 5:30
  want
• 5:30
  you
• 5:30
  to
• 5:30
  do.
• 5:31
  Once
• 5:31
  a
• 5:32
  day,
• 5:32
  especially
• 5:33
  if
• 5:33
  you're
• 5:33
  anxious,
• 5:34
  overwhelmed,
• 5:35
  or
• 5:35
  emotionally
• 5:35
  numb,
• 5:36
  stop
• 5:36
  and
• 5:37
  ask
• 5:37
  yourself,
• 5:38
  what
• 5:38
  is
• 5:38
  okay
• 5:39
  right
• 5:39
  now?
• 5:40
  Not
• 5:40
  forever,
• 5:41
  not
• 5:41
  tomorrow,
• 5:42
  not
• 5:42
  for
• 5:42
  your
• 5:42
  entire
• 5:43
  life,
• 5:43
  not
• 5:43
  for
• 5:44
  the
• 5:44
  rest
• 5:44
  of
• 5:44
  the
• 5:44
  things
• 5:44
  going
• 5:45
  on,
• 5:45
  but
• 5:46
  right
• 5:46
  now,
• 5:47
  right
• 5:47
  now,
• 5:47
  what
• 5:48
  feels
• 5:48
  okay.
• 5:49
  So
• 5:49
  if
• 5:49
  I'm
• 5:50
  sitting
• 5:50
  here
• 5:50
  right
• 5:50
  now,
• 5:50
  looking
• 5:51
  around,
• 5:52
  my
• 5:52
  dog
• 5:52
  is
• 5:52
  laying
• 5:53
  next
• 5:53
  to
• 5:53
  me,
• 5:53
  that
• 5:53
  feels
• 5:54
  safe.
• 5:54
  I
• 5:54
  know
• 5:54
  my
• 5:55
  kids
• 5:55
  are
• 5:55
  safe
• 5:55
  right
• 5:56
  now.
• 5:56
  My
• 5:56
  coffee
• 5:56
  this
• 5:57
  morning
• 5:57
  was
• 5:57
  kick
• 5:58
  ass.
• 5:58
  Like,
• 5:58
  I
• 5:58
  know
• 5:59
  things
• 5:59
  are
• 5:59
  okay
• 6:00
  right
• 6:00
  now.
• 6:00
  I
• 6:01
  have
• 6:01
  a
• 6:01
  roof
• 6:01
  over
• 6:01
  my
• 6:01
  head,
• 6:02
  the
• 6:02
  sunset,
• 6:03
  the
• 6:03
  sky
• 6:03
  is
• 6:03
  beautiful.
• 6:04
  It's
• 6:04
  a
• 6:04
  beautiful
• 6:04
  sunny
• 6:05
  day.
• 6:05
  If
• 6:06
  it's
• 6:06
  the
• 6:06
  end
• 6:06
  of
• 6:06
  the
• 6:06
  day,
• 6:07
  maybe
• 6:07
  what
• 6:07
  is
• 6:08
  good
• 6:08
  right
• 6:08
  now
• 6:08
  is
• 6:09
  just
• 6:09
  that
• 6:09
  you
• 6:09
  got
• 6:09
  through
• 6:10
  today.
• 6:10
  You're
• 6:11
  breathing.
• 6:11
  I
• 6:12
  mean,
• 6:12
  let's
• 6:12
  start
• 6:12
  small.
• 6:13
  And
• 6:14
  if
• 6:14
  it's
• 6:14
  a
• 6:14
  really
• 6:14
  hard
• 6:15
  season,
• 6:16
  sometimes
• 6:16
  the
• 6:16
  win
• 6:17
  is
• 6:17
  just
• 6:17
  I
• 6:18
  survived
• 6:18
  today
• 6:19
  because
• 6:19
  that
• 6:20
  counts
• 6:20
  too.
• 6:21
  Because
• 6:21
  what
• 6:22
  you're
• 6:22
  doing
• 6:22
  is
• 6:22
  teaching
• 6:22
  your
• 6:23
  brain
• 6:23
  something
• 6:23
  incredibly
• 6:24
  important.
• 6:25
  You're
• 6:26
  teaching
• 6:26
  your
• 6:26
  brain
• 6:26
  that
• 6:27
  danger
• 6:27
  is
• 6:27
  not
• 6:28
  the
• 6:28
  only
• 6:28
  thing
• 6:28
  present.
• 6:29
  There
• 6:29
  is
• 6:29
  goodness
• 6:30
  here,
• 6:30
  too.
• 6:31
  So
• 6:31
  if
• 6:31
  you
• 6:32
  are
• 6:32
  always
• 6:33
  constantly
• 6:33
  wired
• 6:34
  to
• 6:34
  look
• 6:34
  for
• 6:34
  the
• 6:34
  bad,
• 6:35
  start
• 6:35
  training
• 6:36
  your
• 6:36
  brain
• 6:36
  to
• 6:36
  look
• 6:37
  for
• 6:37
  the
• 6:37
  good.
• 6:37
  And
• 6:38
  again,
• 6:38
  like
• 6:38
  I
• 6:38
  said,
• 6:39
  it
• 6:39
  doesn't
• 6:39
  need
• 6:39
  to
• 6:39
  be
• 6:39
  the
• 6:40
  good.
• 6:40
  That's
• 6:40
  going
• 6:40
  to
• 6:40
  be
• 6:40
  good
• 6:41
  and
• 6:41
  there
• 6:41
  and
• 6:41
  forever.
• 6:42
  It
• 6:43
  could
• 6:43
  be
• 6:43
  right
• 6:43
  now,
• 6:44
  this
• 6:44
  moment
• 6:45
  in
• 6:45
  time,
• 6:45
  in
• 6:45
  the
• 6:46
  present.
• 6:46
  What
• 6:46
  is
• 6:47
  good
• 6:47
  in
• 6:47
  your
• 6:47
  life?
• 6:48
  So
• 6:49
  another
• 6:50
  exercise.
• 6:51
  Do
• 6:51
  the
• 6:51
  body
• 6:52
  check
• 6:52
  instead
• 6:53
  of
• 6:53
  mind
• 6:53
  spiral.
• 6:54
  And
• 6:54
  here's
• 6:55
  the
• 6:55
  second
• 6:55
  thing
• 6:55
  I
• 6:55
  want
• 6:55
  you
• 6:55
  to
• 6:56
  do.
• 6:56
  And
• 6:56
  this
• 6:56
  is
• 6:56
  in
• 6:57
  almost
• 6:57
  every
• 6:57
  single
• 6:58
  podcast
• 6:58
  that
• 6:58
  I
• 6:58
  do,
• 6:58
  especially
• 6:59
  in
• 6:59
  every
• 6:59
  single
• 6:59
  Tammy's
• 7:00
  takes,
• 7:00
  because
• 7:00
  it
• 7:01
  is
• 7:01
  the
• 7:01
  heart
• 7:01
  of
• 7:01
  what
• 7:02
  I
• 7:02
  do
• 7:02
  and
• 7:02
  it
• 7:02
  is
• 7:02
  the
• 7:04
  main
• 7:04
  basic
• 7:05
  focus
• 7:05
  of
• 7:05
  how
• 7:06
  I
• 7:06
  work
• 7:06
  with
• 7:06
  my
• 7:06
  people.
• 7:07
  Because
• 7:07
  y'
• 7:08
  all
• 7:08
  know
• 7:08
  me,
• 7:09
  we're
• 7:09
  not
• 7:09
  going
• 7:09
  to
• 7:10
  stay
• 7:10
  in
• 7:10
  our
• 7:10
  minds
• 7:11
  all
• 7:11
  day.
• 7:11
  So
• 7:11
  I
• 7:12
  want
• 7:12
  you
• 7:12
  to
• 7:12
  do
• 7:12
  a
• 7:12
  body
• 7:12
  check
• 7:13
  the
• 7:13
  next
• 7:13
  time
• 7:14
  you're
• 7:14
  spiraling,
• 7:14
  you're
• 7:15
  stressed
• 7:15
  out,
• 7:15
  you're
• 7:16
  anxious,
• 7:16
  you're
• 7:16
  shut
• 7:17
  down,
• 7:17
  just
• 7:18
  stop
• 7:18
  and
• 7:18
  ask
• 7:18
  yourself,
• 7:19
  what
• 7:19
  am
• 7:19
  I
• 7:20
  feeling
• 7:20
  in
• 7:20
  my
• 7:20
  body
• 7:20
  right
• 7:21
  now?
• 7:21
  Not
• 7:21
  the
• 7:22
  story,
• 7:22
  not
• 7:23
  the
• 7:23
  why,
• 7:23
  not
• 7:24
  an
• 7:24
  explanation
• 7:25
  about
• 7:25
  who
• 7:25
  upset
• 7:26
  you,
• 7:27
  but
• 7:27
  just
• 7:28
  where
• 7:28
  do
• 7:28
  you
• 7:28
  feel
• 7:28
  it?
• 7:28
  Where
• 7:29
  do
• 7:29
  you
• 7:29
  feel
• 7:29
  it
• 7:29
  in
• 7:29
  your
• 7:30
  body?
• 7:30
  Is
• 7:31
  it
• 7:31
  the
• 7:31
  chest,
• 7:31
  the
• 7:32
  jaw,
• 7:32
  the
• 7:32
  stomach,
• 7:32
  the
• 7:33
  shoulders,
• 7:33
  the
• 7:33
  neck,
• 7:34
  the
• 7:34
  throat,
• 7:34
  whatever
• 7:35
  it
• 7:35
  is?
• 7:36
  And
• 7:36
  then
• 7:36
  ask
• 7:36
  yourself,
• 7:37
  what
• 7:37
  does
• 7:37
  my
• 7:37
  body
• 7:38
  need
• 7:38
  right
• 7:38
  now?
• 7:39
  Does
• 7:39
  it
• 7:39
  need
• 7:39
  movement,
• 7:40
  Maybe
• 7:40
  stretching,
• 7:41
  a
• 7:41
  cry,
• 7:42
  a
• 7:42
  walk,
• 7:43
  shouting
• 7:43
  it
• 7:43
  out,
• 7:44
  silence,
• 7:44
  resting?
• 7:45
  You
• 7:46
  don't
• 7:46
  know.
• 7:46
  You
• 7:46
  don't
• 7:47
  know
• 7:47
  what
• 7:47
  your
• 7:47
  body
• 7:47
  needs
• 7:48
  until
• 7:48
  you
• 7:48
  ask
• 7:48
  it.
• 7:49
  And
• 7:49
  then
• 7:49
  if
• 7:49
  you
• 7:50
  learn
• 7:50
  to
• 7:50
  listen,
• 7:51
  it's
• 7:51
  going
• 7:51
  to
• 7:52
  tell
• 7:52
  you
• 7:52
  the
• 7:52
  right
• 7:52
  things.
• 7:53
  Your
• 7:53
  body
• 7:53
  already
• 7:54
  knows
• 7:54
  how
• 7:54
  to
• 7:54
  heal
• 7:55
  you.
• 7:55
  And
• 7:55
  I
• 7:55
  was
• 7:56
  talking
• 7:56
  about.
• 7:56
  It's
• 7:56
  a
• 7:57
  really
• 7:57
  good
• 7:57
  podcast
• 7:57
  actually,
• 7:58
  too.
• 7:58
  You
• 7:58
  should
• 7:58
  listen
• 7:58
  to
• 7:58
  it.
• 7:59
  It's
• 7:59
  called
• 8:00
  Holy
• 8:00
  Shift
• 8:01
  Balls
• 8:02
  and
• 8:03
  it's
• 8:03
  From
• 8:03
  Shit
• 8:03
  to
• 8:03
  Shift
• 8:04
  or
• 8:04
  something
• 8:04
  like
• 8:04
  that.
• 8:04
  But
• 8:04
  it's
• 8:05
  really,
• 8:05
  it's
• 8:05
  a
• 8:05
  good
• 8:05
  podcast.
• 8:06
  I'll
• 8:06
  actually
• 8:06
  put
• 8:06
  the
• 8:06
  link
• 8:06
  to
• 8:07
  my
• 8:07
  episode
• 8:07
  down
• 8:07
  here
• 8:07
  when
• 8:08
  it
• 8:08
  drops,
• 8:08
  because
• 8:08
  we
• 8:09
  had
• 8:09
  such
• 8:09
  a
• 8:09
  great
• 8:09
  conversation,
• 8:11
  but
• 8:11
  we
• 8:11
  talked
• 8:11
  about
• 8:11
  how
• 8:12
  your
• 8:12
  body
• 8:12
  already
• 8:13
  knows
• 8:13
  everything.
• 8:14
  I
• 8:14
  call
• 8:14
  it
• 8:14
  this
• 8:14
  universal
• 8:15
  knowledge.
• 8:16
  Whether
• 8:16
  it's
• 8:16
  gut
• 8:16
  instinct
• 8:17
  or.
• 8:17
  Some
• 8:17
  people
• 8:18
  call
• 8:18
  it
• 8:18
  instinct.
• 8:19
  Some
• 8:19
  people
• 8:19
  call
• 8:19
  it
• 8:19
  all
• 8:19
  knowing.
• 8:20
  Some
• 8:20
  people
• 8:20
  call
• 8:20
  it
• 8:21
  the
• 8:21
  universe.
• 8:21
  Whatever
• 8:22
  it
• 8:22
  is,
• 8:25
  we've
• 8:25
  been
• 8:25
  trained
• 8:26
  not
• 8:26
  to
• 8:26
  listen
• 8:26
  to
• 8:27
  it.
• 8:27
  And
• 8:27
  so
• 8:28
  my
• 8:28
  challenge
• 8:28
  to
• 8:28
  you
• 8:29
  is
• 8:29
  to
• 8:29
  start
• 8:30
  to
• 8:30
  listen
• 8:30
  to
• 8:30
  it.
• 8:31
  If
• 8:31
  you
• 8:31
  literally
• 8:32
  take
• 8:32
  only
• 8:33
  one
• 8:33
  thing
• 8:33
  from
• 8:34
  today,
• 8:35
  it
• 8:35
  is
• 8:35
  this.
• 8:36
  Survival
• 8:37
  is
• 8:37
  a
• 8:37
  small,
• 8:38
  small
• 8:38
  portion
• 8:38
  of
• 8:39
  the
• 8:39
  story.
• 8:39
  You
• 8:40
  did
• 8:40
  not
• 8:40
  survive
• 8:40
  your
• 8:41
  dysfunction.
• 8:41
  You
• 8:41
  did
• 8:42
  not
• 8:42
  survive
• 8:42
  all
• 8:42
  of
• 8:43
  that
• 8:43
  heartbreak,
• 8:43
  portrayal,
• 8:44
  abuse,
• 8:44
  abandonment,
• 8:45
  chaos,
• 8:45
  addiction,
• 8:46
  whatever
• 8:47
  it
• 8:47
  is,
• 8:48
  just
• 8:48
  to
• 8:48
  stay
• 8:49
  numb.
• 8:50
  And
• 8:50
  I
• 8:51
  know
• 8:51
  that
• 8:51
  sounds
• 8:51
  like
• 8:51
  a
• 8:52
  crazy
• 8:52
  theory,
• 8:53
  but
• 8:53
  you
• 8:53
  survived
• 8:54
  everything.
• 8:54
  You
• 8:55
  survived
• 8:56
  so
• 8:56
  that
• 8:56
  you
• 8:56
  could
• 8:57
  feel
• 8:57
  alive
• 8:57
  again,
• 8:58
  so
• 8:58
  you
• 8:58
  could
• 8:58
  live
• 8:58
  again.
• 8:59
  Sometimes
• 9:00
  healing
• 9:00
  honestly
• 9:01
  feels
• 9:01
  scarier
• 9:02
  than
• 9:02
  survival.
• 9:03
  Because
• 9:03
  healing
• 9:04
  asks
• 9:04
  us
• 9:05
  to
• 9:05
  trust
• 9:05
  goodness
• 9:06
  again.
• 9:07
  It
• 9:07
  asks
• 9:08
  us
• 9:08
  to
• 9:08
  soften.
• 9:09
  Healing
• 9:10
  sometimes
• 9:10
  even
• 9:10
  asks
• 9:10
  us
• 9:11
  to
• 9:11
  believe
• 9:11
  that
• 9:11
  maybe,
• 9:12
  just
• 9:12
  maybe,
• 9:13
  life
• 9:14
  starts
• 9:14
  to
• 9:14
  get
• 9:14
  better
• 9:15
  right
• 9:15
  now.
• 9:16
  And
• 9:17
  if
• 9:17
  that
• 9:17
  feels
• 9:17
  uncomfortable,
• 9:18
  it's
• 9:18
  okay.
• 9:19
  You're
• 9:19
  learning.
• 9:20
  You're
• 9:21
  rewiring.
• 9:21
  You're
• 9:22
  undoing
• 9:22
  stuff
• 9:22
  that
• 9:23
  has
• 9:23
  been
• 9:23
  taking
• 9:23
  decades
• 9:24
  and
• 9:24
  decades
• 9:24
  to
• 9:25
  become.
• 9:25
  You're
• 9:25
  becoming
• 9:26
  safe
• 9:26
  in
• 9:26
  your
• 9:26
  own
• 9:26
  body.
• 9:27
  And
• 9:27
  that
• 9:27
  takes
• 9:27
  time.
• 9:28
  So
• 9:28
  if
• 9:29
  this
• 9:29
  episode
• 9:29
  hits
• 9:30
  home
• 9:30
  for
• 9:30
  you,
• 9:30
  go
• 9:30
  back
• 9:30
  and
• 9:31
  listen
• 9:31
  to
• 9:31
  my
• 9:31
  full
• 9:31
  conversation
• 9:32
  with
• 9:32
  Megan,
• 9:33
  because
• 9:33
  it
• 9:33
  was
• 9:33
  absolutely
• 9:34
  beautiful.
• 9:34
  And
• 9:34
  if
• 9:35
  you're
• 9:35
  struggling
• 9:35
  with
• 9:35
  nervous
• 9:36
  system
• 9:36
  regulation,
• 9:37
  emotional
• 9:37
  numbness,
• 9:38
  or
• 9:39
  feeling
• 9:39
  stuck
• 9:39
  in
• 9:39
  survival
• 9:40
  mode,
• 9:40
  I
• 9:40
  want
• 9:40
  you
• 9:41
  to
• 9:41
  know
• 9:41
  that
• 9:42
  you
• 9:42
  do
• 9:42
  not
• 9:42
  have
• 9:42
  to
• 9:42
  figure
• 9:42
  this
• 9:43
  out
• 9:43
  all
• 9:43
  alone.
• 9:43
  You
• 9:44
  can
• 9:44
  always
• 9:44
  book
• 9:44
  a
• 9:44
  complimentary
• 9:45
  clarity
• 9:45
  and
• 9:45
  calm
• 9:46
  call
• 9:46
  with
• 9:46
  me,
• 9:47
  and
• 9:47
  I
• 9:47
  can
• 9:47
  tell
• 9:48
  you
• 9:48
  more
• 9:48
  about
• 9:48
  the
• 9:48
  work
• 9:48
  we
• 9:49
  do
• 9:49
  around
• 9:49
  the
• 9:49
  nervous
• 9:49
  system,
• 9:50
  healing,
• 9:50
  and
• 9:50
  the
• 9:50
  subconscious
• 9:51
  patterns.
• 9:52
  But
• 9:52
  until
• 9:52
  next
• 9:53
  time,
• 9:53
  just
• 9:53
  know
• 9:54
  this,
• 9:54
  my
• 9:54
  friends.
• 9:54
  You
• 9:55
  are
• 9:55
  not
• 9:55
  broken.
• 9:56
  You're
• 9:57
  adapted.
• 9:58
  Now
• 9:58
  it's
• 9:58
  time
• 9:58
  to
• 9:59
  learn
• 9:59
  how
• 9:59
  to
• 9:59
  feel
• 9:59
  safe
• 10:00
  in
• 10:00
  your
• 10:00
  body
• 10:00
  again.
• 10:01
  And
• 10:01
  that
• 10:01
  is
• 10:01
  what
• 10:01
  I'm
• 10:01
  here
• 10:02
  to
• 10:02
  help
• 10:02
  you
• 10:02
  with.
• 10:02
  So
• 10:03
  you
• 10:03
  have
• 10:03
  a
• 10:03
  blessed
• 10:03
  day.
• 10:04
  Come
• 10:04
  back
• 10:04
  soon.
• 10:05
  I
• 10:05
  love
• 10:05
  you
• 10:05
  guys.
• 10:06
  Bye.