Latest / Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild / From Red Flags to Self-Respect: A Year of Growth

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From Red Flags to Self-Respect: A Year of Growth · Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is get it, got it, girl.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Where you're gonna get it, you're gonna go after what you want, and you're not gonna become anything but it.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: You are it.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is just a raw, raw.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do raw hair.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: What did I do this week?
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Woo! It was a tough week.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I went to reminiscing.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: I missed him.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: I forgave him.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: I forgave myself.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: I thought about I forgave the ex before him.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm now not the same person I was.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I will not settle for less.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: There will be no abuse.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: That is clear cut dry.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: The first sign of abuse.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I will not run into it and like, okay, that was okay.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's no big deal.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or play it off.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: I will run.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I will cut you off.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: I will block you.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I will never talk to you again.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I have some clear boundaries for myself.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually was tested during this year of being single.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: I even told this guy, like, okay, I just got out of a relationship.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: It must have been three months after the relationship.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of told him the deal about why I left and what were some of the issues.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then this guy had the audacity to actually do the things that I told him.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I just left after saying, Oh, I'm not like that.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: He showed me he was just like that.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And at the end of it, he's like, Okay, well, why don't you just call me or text me when you get back?
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Hell no, I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: That was a living experience, but that was awesome because that was the first time that I knew.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not okay with this.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know what you're not okay with.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to fix anybody.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I want to support you, obviously, with your dreams.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I will be there for you.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: I will be on your side.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: I will help you.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: We will give advice.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: I will work with you as a partner, but I'm not going to be a fixer.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: I have to fix myself.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still fixing myself.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: You have to fix yourself.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're a grown-up.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I have to fix myself though, too.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I was thinking a couple times I thought about going out.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was like, oh, how can I go out with somebody?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm just, I'm just not, I'm not ready.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that was just the truth.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm just not ready.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: I try to force it, like, oh, okay, you should be fine.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I like Ben, I know I shared this, like, go on and off the dating apps, and then there's like no substance.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: They'll be like, hey.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Or they'll wave.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or hi.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's no effort.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then I felt like.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: How are you gonna know what a person's like just through the dating app?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know even when you meet someone, you don't know what they're like, but you actually kind of do because when you meet them, you'll see the red flags.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that's another part.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to see red flags that aren't there.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want my person to be like punished for what I went through.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like one guy, he was just asking me about myself.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, God, he's really needy.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, no, wait a minute.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: He's not needy.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: He was asking regular questions.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so I almost thought that was a red flag.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: No, the red flag was me.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: So the red flag for me is I'm not ready.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: When I'm ready, I know something good will come in my life, something that's meant for me.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll know it.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'll know it this time.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll also know it's not.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm gonna work on myself.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna continue to work on myself.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going like a six-month work on myself thing.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Where I got plans.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm ready to do it.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I also want to grow the podcast.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how this is new to me.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I I struggled with imposter syndrome.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: I know that I overshare a lot.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I wanted to share some of my experiences because maybe it'll help somebody.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like the one where I was laying in bed and just couldn't get up for days.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like I couldn't even get up to take a shower for two days.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: That seemed to be a pattern for a while.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: For a couple weeks in there, I struggled to get up.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now there's many times I got up.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: For every time that I couldn't get up, there are times like today.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: I love podcasting.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: I love being in this room.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I wanted to stay home today.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Things were going on in the house, and oh, oh my, what a vibe.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: It was a bad vibe.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just gonna lay in bed and go to sleep.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, no, no, no.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna let somebody else's feelings or whatever they're going through affect mine.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was happy.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: I spent last night dancing for 45 minutes to songs like healing songs and happy songs and sad songs, and it was just so healing.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what other word to use, but healing.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: It was so wonderful.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm myself again.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: I also feel like I'm more of the person underneath, like I'm there.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm starting to embrace that and not not care what other people think.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that's a new one.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm still working on next, I'm working on getting out of the toxic environment.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man, that's hard to say out loud, especially on the radio or the podcast.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, but it's then I'm also gonna take responsibility.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's my doing.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 52.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, wait, no, I'm 52.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: I still keep missing up.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Am I 52 or 53?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 53.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: This whole year for a while there I was saying I'm 52.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 53, so I guess in a couple months in February, when I'm 54, I'm gonna be like, I'm 53.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: But no, I am 53 years old.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: I have three grown children, blah, blah, blah, tongue-tied, three grown children, and I have never lived alone.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Never.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's gonna be a whole different series, but we're bringing in joy, and that's what it's about.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna be concentrating on decluttering today.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I brought a bunch of books back to the library because I am a book junkie.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's not a bad thing, but I'm right now I'm trying to focus more and get more organized.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: I can't I can't listen to like 15 people on podcasts or on YouTube videos, 15 different people, and go in 15 different directions.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I can pick each person specifically for how they help me and in what way.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's what I'm I'm doing.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I did that with the books.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Last night before coming to the library, I grabbed the stack of books.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I picked out three of them that I'm really working on right now that would really help with focus, clarity, and becoming the life coach.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so I put the other, I quick read the other ones, like I skim read them.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: I got the main facts, and then I all I put them in the pile, but they're going back to the library.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do everything at one time.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: ADHD is a thing in my life, so I was gonna work on that.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: However, at this at this moment, I have other health things that I need to work on.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes I don't know if I want to get rid of my HD, H A, oh my goodness, my ADHD.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like it's a creative thing, maybe.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what if, because before, I guess how many years ago?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, maybe 15 years ago, I had taken some medicine, and I'm not saying it's bad or good.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I have no opinion for myself personally.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was a zombie.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I heard they can do you know, medicate medicines to regulate you.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: So that may be in the future.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And as you can see, I am still working on my decisive brain where it just goes both for both back and forth, different sides.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's normal.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so excuse me, let me pause.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm back.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: I just yeah, a little sleepy.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: I've been in the podcast room for about four hours.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I just wanted to just rant and let it go.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Let it riff.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: This might be for myself, or it might be some exclusive things that I offer later in the future.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, so this is get it, got it, girl.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Gonna close you out with the music.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Get it, got it, girl.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: We're all my girls up.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Come on, ladies.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do this, ladies.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Let's have a safe community where we can share and heal together.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Bump bump bump bump bump.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Bump bump bump.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Get it, got it, girl.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Come on, girls, let's get it.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Bump bump bump bump bump doot doot doot.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay, that's part of my goopiness.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: I just shared a little bit and now I'm gonna turn off this and keep going.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Bump bump bump.