Latest / Notes to Her / Note 56: Stop Waiting to Feel Ready

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Note 56: Stop Waiting to Feel Ready · Notes to Her

• 0:17
  Hey,
• 0:17
  girl.
• 0:17
  Hey.
• 0:17
  Welcome
• 0:18
  back
• 0:18
  to
• 0:18
  Notes
• 0:18
  to
• 0:18
  her,
• 0:18
  the
• 0:19
  daily
• 0:19
  pep
• 0:19
  talk.
• 0:19
  I'm
• 0:19
  Yaya,
• 0:20
  your
• 0:20
  confidence
• 0:20
  and
• 0:21
  mindset
• 0:21
  coach,
• 0:22
  here
• 0:22
  to
• 0:22
  help
• 0:22
  you
• 0:22
  stop
• 0:23
  shrinking,
• 0:23
  stop
• 0:24
  second
• 0:24
  guessing
• 0:24
  yourself
• 0:25
  and
• 0:25
  start
• 0:25
  showing
• 0:26
  up
• 0:26
  like
• 0:26
  the
• 0:26
  woman
• 0:27
  you
• 0:27
  keep
• 0:27
  saying
• 0:28
  you
• 0:28
  want
• 0:28
  to
• 0:28
  be.
• 0:30
  And
• 0:30
  today
• 0:30
  I
• 0:31
  need
• 0:31
  to
• 0:31
  talk
• 0:31
  to
• 0:31
  the
• 0:31
  woman
• 0:32
  on
• 0:32
  the
• 0:32
  sidelines.
• 0:33
  Yeah,
• 0:34
  you.
• 0:35
  The
• 0:35
  one
• 0:35
  thinking
• 0:36
  about
• 0:36
  it,
• 0:36
  the
• 0:36
  one
• 0:37
  researching,
• 0:38
  the
• 0:38
  one
• 0:38
  planning,
• 0:39
  the
• 0:40
  one
• 0:40
  waiting
• 0:40
  for
• 0:40
  the
• 0:41
  perfect
• 0:41
  time,
• 0:42
  the
• 0:43
  one
• 0:43
  saying,
• 0:44
  I
• 0:44
  just
• 0:44
  need
• 0:45
  to
• 0:45
  feel
• 0:45
  more
• 0:46
  ready.
• 0:47
  How
• 0:47
  long
• 0:48
  have
• 0:48
  you
• 0:48
  been
• 0:48
  saying
• 0:49
  that?
• 0:59
  I
• 0:59
  want
• 0:59
  you
• 0:59
  to
• 0:59
  know
• 1:00
  that
• 1:00
  I
• 1:00
  see
• 1:00
  you.
• 1:01
  I
• 1:01
  see
• 1:01
  the
• 1:01
  way
• 1:02
  you
• 1:02
  light
• 1:02
  up
• 1:02
  when
• 1:02
  you
• 1:03
  talk
• 1:03
  about
• 1:03
  that
• 1:03
  new
• 1:03
  opportunity,
• 1:04
  that
• 1:05
  new
• 1:05
  role,
• 1:06
  that
• 1:06
  new
• 1:06
  relationship,
• 1:08
  that
• 1:08
  new
• 1:08
  version
• 1:09
  of
• 1:09
  your
• 1:09
  life.
• 1:10
  Your
• 1:11
  whole
• 1:11
  energy
• 1:11
  shifts
• 1:12
  and
• 1:13
  then
• 1:14
  you
• 1:14
  shrink.
• 1:15
  Your
• 1:16
  voice
• 1:16
  gets
• 1:16
  smaller.
• 1:17
  You
• 1:17
  start
• 1:18
  explaining,
• 1:18
  you
• 1:19
  start
• 1:19
  justifying.
• 1:20
  I
• 1:21
  just
• 1:21
  need
• 1:21
  a
• 1:21
  little
• 1:21
  bit
• 1:22
  more
• 1:22
  time.
• 1:23
  But,
• 1:23
  girl,
• 1:24
  time
• 1:24
  is
• 1:24
  not
• 1:25
  the
• 1:25
  issue.
• 1:27
  And
• 1:27
  this
• 1:27
  isn't
• 1:27
  just
• 1:28
  about
• 1:28
  a
• 1:28
  promotion.
• 1:28
  This
• 1:29
  is
• 1:29
  about
• 1:29
  the
• 1:29
  relationship,
• 1:30
  you
• 1:30
  know,
• 1:30
  that's
• 1:30
  misaligned,
• 1:31
  but
• 1:31
  you've
• 1:31
  invested
• 1:32
  time.
• 1:33
  It's
• 1:33
  about
• 1:33
  the
• 1:33
  boundary
• 1:34
  you
• 1:34
  know
• 1:34
  you
• 1:34
  need
• 1:34
  to
• 1:34
  set,
• 1:35
  but
• 1:35
  you
• 1:35
  don't
• 1:36
  want
• 1:36
  to
• 1:36
  make
• 1:36
  it
• 1:36
  awkward.
• 1:37
  Is
• 1:37
  it
• 1:37
  about
• 1:37
  the
• 1:38
  decision
• 1:38
  that
• 1:38
  you've
• 1:38
  been
• 1:38
  procrastinating
• 1:39
  on
• 1:39
  for
• 1:40
  months?
• 1:40
  Because
• 1:40
  disrupting
• 1:41
  your
• 1:41
  life
• 1:41
  feels
• 1:42
  scarier
• 1:42
  than
• 1:43
  staying
• 1:43
  uncomfortable?
• 1:45
  You
• 1:46
  keep
• 1:46
  calling
• 1:46
  it
• 1:46
  not
• 1:47
  ready,
• 1:47
  but
• 1:47
  what
• 1:47
  if
• 1:48
  it's
• 1:48
  not
• 1:48
  readiness?
• 1:49
  What
• 1:49
  if
• 1:49
  it's
• 1:49
  permission?
• 1:51
  Permission
• 1:51
  to
• 1:52
  leave,
• 1:52
  Permission
• 1:53
  to
• 1:53
  outgrow,
• 1:54
  permission
• 1:54
  to
• 1:55
  disappoint
• 1:55
  someone,
• 1:56
  permission
• 1:56
  to
• 1:57
  want
• 1:57
  more.
• 1:58
  Because
• 1:58
  sometimes
• 1:59
  no
• 1:59
  one
• 1:59
  claps
• 1:59
  when
• 2:00
  you
• 2:00
  evolve.
• 2:00
  And
• 2:01
  honestly,
• 2:01
  that's
• 2:01
  okay.
• 2:02
  Clap
• 2:02
  for
• 2:02
  yourself.
• 2:04
  I
• 2:04
  hate
• 2:04
  to
• 2:04
  say
• 2:04
  this,
• 2:05
  but
• 2:05
  I
• 2:05
  want
• 2:05
  to
• 2:05
  keep
• 2:05
  it
• 2:05
  real
• 2:06
  with
• 2:06
  you.
• 2:06
  Sometimes
• 2:07
  your
• 2:07
  growth
• 2:07
  is
• 2:08
  going
• 2:08
  to
• 2:08
  make
• 2:08
  other
• 2:09
  people
• 2:09
  get
• 2:09
  uncomfortable.
• 2:11
  And
• 2:11
  we
• 2:11
  don't
• 2:11
  like
• 2:12
  making
• 2:12
  people
• 2:12
  uncomfortable.
• 2:14
  Especially
• 2:14
  the
• 2:15
  woman
• 2:15
  listening
• 2:16
  to
• 2:16
  this.
• 2:18
  Let
• 2:18
  me
• 2:18
  tell
• 2:18
  you
• 2:19
  about
• 2:19
  a
• 2:19
  past
• 2:19
  relationship
• 2:20
  I
• 2:20
  had.
• 2:20
  This
• 2:21
  was
• 2:21
  a
• 2:21
  four
• 2:21
  year
• 2:21
  relationship
• 2:22
  that
• 2:22
  I
• 2:22
  stayed
• 2:22
  in.
• 2:23
  And
• 2:23
  if
• 2:23
  I'm
• 2:24
  being
• 2:24
  honest,
• 2:25
  I
• 2:25
  knew
• 2:26
  there
• 2:26
  were
• 2:26
  moments
• 2:26
  where
• 2:26
  I
• 2:27
  felt
• 2:27
  it
• 2:27
  in
• 2:27
  my
• 2:27
  body.
• 2:28
  This
• 2:28
  isn't
• 2:29
  it.
• 2:29
  This
• 2:29
  isn't
• 2:30
  a
• 2:30
  line.
• 2:30
  This
• 2:31
  is
• 2:31
  not
• 2:31
  the
• 2:31
  future
• 2:31
  I
• 2:32
  see
• 2:32
  for
• 2:32
  myself.
• 2:33
  But
• 2:33
  I
• 2:33
  loved
• 2:34
  him.
• 2:34
  I
• 2:34
  was
• 2:35
  hopeful.
• 2:35
  And
• 2:36
  I
• 2:36
  kept
• 2:36
  thinking,
• 2:37
  maybe
• 2:37
  he'll
• 2:38
  change.
• 2:39
  I
• 2:39
  would
• 2:39
  end
• 2:40
  it.
• 2:40
  And
• 2:40
  then
• 2:41
  I
• 2:41
  would
• 2:41
  go
• 2:41
  back.
• 2:42
  Because
• 2:42
  I
• 2:42
  told
• 2:43
  myself
• 2:43
  I
• 2:43
  was
• 2:43
  being
• 2:43
  patient.
• 2:44
  I
• 2:45
  told
• 2:45
  myself
• 2:45
  relationships
• 2:46
  take
• 2:46
  work.
• 2:47
  I
• 2:47
  told
• 2:48
  myself
• 2:48
  I
• 2:48
  just
• 2:48
  needed
• 2:49
  to
• 2:49
  try
• 2:49
  harder.
• 2:50
  But
• 2:50
  what
• 2:51
  I
• 2:51
  was
• 2:51
  really
• 2:51
  doing,
• 2:53
  Overriding
• 2:54
  myself.
• 2:55
  He
• 2:55
  liked
• 2:55
  my
• 2:55
  presence.
• 2:56
  He
• 2:56
  liked
• 2:57
  what
• 2:57
  I
• 2:57
  added
• 2:57
  to
• 2:57
  his
• 2:57
  life.
• 2:58
  But
• 2:58
  he
• 2:58
  wasn't
• 2:59
  adding
• 2:59
  to
• 2:59
  mine.
• 3:00
  He
• 3:00
  wasn't
• 3:00
  meeting
• 3:01
  the
• 3:01
  needs
• 3:01
  that
• 3:01
  I
• 3:01
  had.
• 3:02
  And
• 3:02
  I
• 3:02
  stayed
• 3:03
  anyway.
• 3:05
  That
• 3:05
  was
• 3:05
  me
• 3:05
  waiting
• 3:06
  to
• 3:06
  feel
• 3:06
  ready
• 3:07
  to
• 3:07
  leave.
• 3:08
  But
• 3:08
  what
• 3:08
  I
• 3:09
  was
• 3:09
  actually
• 3:09
  waiting
• 3:09
  for
• 3:10
  was
• 3:10
  A
• 3:10
  discomfort
• 3:11
  to
• 3:11
  go
• 3:11
  away.
• 3:12
  And
• 3:12
  it
• 3:12
  did.
• 3:13
  It
• 3:14
  cost
• 3:14
  me
• 3:14
  my
• 3:14
  time.
• 3:15
  And
• 3:15
  if
• 3:16
  I'm
• 3:16
  being
• 3:16
  brutally
• 3:17
  honest,
• 3:17
  with
• 3:17
  you,
• 3:17
  to
• 3:17
  this
• 3:17
  day,
• 3:18
  I
• 3:18
  hate
• 3:18
  to
• 3:18
  even
• 3:19
  think
• 3:19
  of
• 3:20
  the
• 3:20
  waste
• 3:20
  of
• 3:21
  my
• 3:22
  time.
• 3:23
  Now,
• 3:24
  at
• 3:24
  this
• 3:24
  big
• 3:24
  age,
• 3:25
  I
• 3:25
  cannot
• 3:26
  give
• 3:26
  you
• 3:26
  unlimited
• 3:27
  chances.
• 3:27
  I
• 3:28
  have
• 3:28
  standards.
• 3:28
  I
• 3:28
  have
• 3:28
  needs.
• 3:29
  And
• 3:29
  if
• 3:29
  you
• 3:29
  cannot
• 3:30
  meet
• 3:30
  them,
• 3:30
  you
• 3:31
  are
• 3:31
  not
• 3:31
  for
• 3:32
  me.
• 3:32
  End
• 3:33
  of
• 3:33
  story.
• 3:34
  And
• 3:34
  that
• 3:34
  is
• 3:34
  why
• 3:34
  it
• 3:35
  pains
• 3:35
  me
• 3:36
  when
• 3:36
  I
• 3:36
  see
• 3:37
  women
• 3:37
  waiting
• 3:38
  for.
• 3:38
  Because
• 3:38
  I
• 3:38
  know
• 3:39
  what
• 3:39
  is
• 3:39
  on
• 3:40
  the
• 3:40
  other
• 3:41
  side.
• 3:43
  Now,
• 3:43
  let's
• 3:44
  talk
• 3:44
  about
• 3:44
  settling
• 3:45
  and
• 3:45
  stretching.
• 3:46
  Settling
• 3:47
  feels
• 3:47
  familiar.
• 3:48
  Stretching
• 3:49
  feels
• 3:49
  scary.
• 3:50
  Settling
• 3:51
  keeps
• 3:51
  you
• 3:51
  safe.
• 3:52
  Stretching
• 3:53
  moves
• 3:53
  you
• 3:53
  forward.
• 3:54
  Settling
• 3:54
  feels
• 3:55
  heavy.
• 3:56
  Stretching
• 3:56
  feels
• 3:57
  alive.
• 3:58
  Some
• 3:59
  women
• 3:59
  are
• 3:59
  mistaking
• 4:00
  comfort
• 4:00
  for
• 4:00
  alignment.
• 4:01
  And
• 4:01
  they
• 4:01
  are
• 4:02
  not
• 4:02
  the
• 4:02
  same.
• 4:04
  Because
• 4:04
  comfort
• 4:05
  can
• 4:05
  be
• 4:05
  a
• 4:06
  cage.
• 4:07
  And
• 4:08
  then
• 4:08
  there's
• 4:08
  projection.
• 4:09
  We've
• 4:09
  all
• 4:10
  had
• 4:10
  those
• 4:10
  moments,
• 4:10
  even
• 4:11
  I,
• 4:11
  where
• 4:11
  someone
• 4:12
  we
• 4:12
  love
• 4:12
  says,
• 4:13
  are
• 4:13
  you
• 4:14
  sure
• 4:14
  that's
• 4:14
  smart?
• 4:15
  That
• 4:15
  seems
• 4:16
  risky.
• 4:16
  Maybe
• 4:17
  you
• 4:17
  should
• 4:17
  slow
• 4:17
  down.
• 4:18
  And
• 4:18
  they
• 4:19
  don't
• 4:19
  mean
• 4:19
  harm.
• 4:20
  But
• 4:20
  sometimes
• 4:20
  they're
• 4:20
  projecting
• 4:21
  their
• 4:21
  fear.
• 4:22
  And
• 4:22
  if
• 4:23
  you're
• 4:23
  not
• 4:23
  comfortable,
• 4:24
  their
• 4:24
  fear
• 4:24
  becomes
• 4:25
  your
• 4:25
  hesitation.
• 4:26
  You
• 4:26
  start
• 4:26
  shrinking
• 4:27
  your
• 4:27
  dreams
• 4:28
  to
• 4:28
  match
• 4:28
  their
• 4:29
  comfort.
• 4:30
  And
• 4:30
  that's
• 4:30
  not
• 4:30
  your
• 4:30
  responsibility.
• 4:32
  You
• 4:32
  cannot
• 4:32
  let
• 4:33
  someone
• 4:33
  else's
• 4:33
  ceiling
• 4:34
  become
• 4:35
  your
• 4:35
  floor.
• 4:38
  Now,
• 4:38
  if
• 4:38
  you
• 4:38
  don't
• 4:38
  take
• 4:38
  anything
• 4:39
  else
• 4:39
  away
• 4:40
  from
• 4:40
  this
• 4:40
  note,
• 4:41
  take
• 4:41
  this.
• 4:42
  Waiting
• 4:43
  is
• 4:43
  not
• 4:44
  neutral.
• 4:45
  Every
• 4:45
  time
• 4:45
  you
• 4:45
  delay
• 4:46
  a
• 4:46
  decision
• 4:46
  you
• 4:46
  already
• 4:47
  know
• 4:47
  needs
• 4:48
  to
• 4:48
  be
• 4:48
  made,
• 4:49
  you
• 4:49
  weaken
• 4:50
  your
• 4:50
  self
• 4:50
  trust.
• 4:51
  Every
• 4:52
  time
• 4:52
  you
• 4:52
  override
• 4:53
  your
• 4:53
  intuition,
• 4:54
  you
• 4:54
  chip
• 4:55
  away
• 4:55
  at
• 4:55
  your
• 4:55
  relationship
• 4:56
  with
• 4:56
  yourself.
• 4:58
  And
• 4:58
  then
• 4:58
  you
• 4:58
  say,
• 4:59
  why
• 4:59
  don't
• 4:59
  I
• 4:59
  feel
• 5:00
  confident?
• 5:00
  Because
• 5:01
  confidence
• 5:01
  is
• 5:02
  built
• 5:02
  through
• 5:02
  self
• 5:02
  trust.
• 5:03
  And
• 5:03
  self
• 5:03
  trust
• 5:04
  is
• 5:04
  built
• 5:04
  through
• 5:04
  action.
• 5:07
  Now
• 5:08
  let
• 5:09
  me
• 5:09
  ask
• 5:09
  you
• 5:09
  something.
• 5:10
  What's
• 5:10
  one
• 5:11
  thing
• 5:11
  that
• 5:11
  you
• 5:11
  have
• 5:11
  been
• 5:12
  delaying?
• 5:14
  Not
• 5:14
  the
• 5:14
  dramatic
• 5:15
  leap,
• 5:15
  the
• 5:16
  next
• 5:16
  step?
• 5:17
  Is
• 5:17
  it
• 5:17
  the
• 5:18
  conversation?
• 5:18
  The
• 5:19
  application?
• 5:20
  The
• 5:20
  boundary,
• 5:21
  the
• 5:21
  exit
• 5:22
  plan?
• 5:23
  You
• 5:23
  don't
• 5:24
  need
• 5:24
  to
• 5:24
  blow
• 5:24
  up
• 5:24
  your
• 5:24
  life.
• 5:25
  You
• 5:25
  need
• 5:25
  one
• 5:25
  stretch.
• 5:26
  Just
• 5:27
  one.
• 5:27
  Because
• 5:28
  the
• 5:28
  woman
• 5:28
  you
• 5:28
  say
• 5:29
  you
• 5:29
  want
• 5:29
  to
• 5:29
  be,
• 5:30
  she
• 5:30
  moves.
• 5:31
  Not
• 5:32
  recklessly,
• 5:33
  intentionally.
• 5:35
  There
• 5:36
  is
• 5:36
  a
• 5:36
  version
• 5:36
  of
• 5:36
  you
• 5:37
  who
• 5:37
  is
• 5:37
  more
• 5:37
  vocal,
• 5:38
  more
• 5:38
  visible,
• 5:39
  more
• 5:40
  grounded,
• 5:41
  clear
• 5:41
  in
• 5:41
  what
• 5:41
  she
• 5:42
  deserves.
• 5:43
  She
• 5:43
  doesn't
• 5:43
  wait
• 5:43
  for
• 5:44
  unanimous
• 5:44
  approval.
• 5:45
  She
• 5:46
  doesn't
• 5:46
  wait
• 5:46
  for
• 5:46
  everyone
• 5:47
  to
• 5:47
  feel
• 5:47
  comfortable.
• 5:48
  She
• 5:48
  moves
• 5:48
  when
• 5:49
  it
• 5:49
  aligns.
• 5:50
  And
• 5:50
  the
• 5:50
  only
• 5:51
  thing
• 5:51
  separating
• 5:51
  you
• 5:52
  from
• 5:52
  her
• 5:53
  is
• 5:53
  action.
• 5:55
  Listen,
• 5:56
  you
• 5:56
  don't
• 5:57
  need
• 5:57
  hype.
• 5:57
  You
• 5:57
  need
• 5:58
  tools.
• 5:58
  Because
• 5:58
  when
• 5:59
  fear
• 5:59
  spikes,
• 6:00
  inspiration
• 6:00
  disappears.
• 6:01
  And
• 6:02
  that's
• 6:02
  why
• 6:02
  I
• 6:02
  created
• 6:03
  the
• 6:03
  Confidence
• 6:03
  starter
• 6:03
  kit.
• 6:04
  It's
• 6:04
  not
• 6:04
  about
• 6:04
  feeling
• 6:05
  confident.
• 6:05
  It's
• 6:05
  about
• 6:06
  building
• 6:06
  it.
• 6:07
  Checking
• 6:08
  your
• 6:08
  boundaries,
• 6:09
  thought
• 6:09
  reframes,
• 6:10
  micro
• 6:10
  actions,
• 6:11
  and
• 6:11
  real
• 6:12
  time
• 6:12
  interruption
• 6:13
  tools.
• 6:14
  So
• 6:15
  when
• 6:15
  that
• 6:15
  familiar
• 6:15
  hesitation
• 6:16
  shows
• 6:16
  up,
• 6:17
  you
• 6:17
  don't
• 6:17
  spiral.
• 6:18
  You
• 6:18
  move.
• 6:19
  And
• 6:19
  you
• 6:19
  can
• 6:19
  grab
• 6:20
  it
• 6:20
  through
• 6:20
  the
• 6:20
  link
• 6:20
  in
• 6:21
  the
• 6:21
  show
• 6:21
  notes.
• 6:21
  It's
• 6:22
  free.
• 6:22
  It's
• 6:22
  practical.
• 6:23
  And
• 6:23
  it's
• 6:24
  the
• 6:24
  first
• 6:24
  step
• 6:24
  towards
• 6:25
  becoming
• 6:25
  the
• 6:25
  woman
• 6:26
  that
• 6:26
  you
• 6:26
  keep
• 6:26
  talking
• 6:27
  about.
• 6:30
  I
• 6:30
  need
• 6:30
  you
• 6:30
  to
• 6:31
  stop
• 6:31
  waiting
• 6:31
  for
• 6:31
  readiness.
• 6:32
  Stop
• 6:32
  waiting
• 6:33
  for
• 6:33
  discomfort
• 6:34
  to
• 6:34
  disappear.
• 6:35
  Because
• 6:35
  it
• 6:35
  won't.
• 6:36
  Growth
• 6:37
  is
• 6:37
  uncomfortable.
• 6:38
  Expansion
• 6:39
  is
• 6:39
  uncomfortable.
• 6:40
  Becoming
• 6:40
  her
• 6:41
  is
• 6:41
  uncomfortable.
• 6:42
  But
• 6:43
  staying
• 6:43
  where
• 6:43
  you
• 6:43
  are
• 6:44
  is
• 6:44
  that
• 6:44
  discomfort
• 6:45
  only
• 6:45
  compounds.
• 6:48
  Now,
• 6:48
  if
• 6:48
  you
• 6:48
  are
• 6:48
  that
• 6:48
  woman
• 6:49
  who
• 6:49
  has
• 6:49
  been
• 6:49
  waiting
• 6:49
  to
• 6:50
  feel
• 6:50
  ready,
• 6:51
  the
• 6:51
  next
• 6:51
  step
• 6:51
  is
• 6:52
  downloading
• 6:52
  the
• 6:52
  Confidence
• 6:53
  Starter
• 6:53
  kit.
• 6:54
  Not
• 6:54
  tomorrow,
• 6:55
  now.
• 6:55
  Because
• 6:56
  the
• 6:56
  longer
• 6:56
  you
• 6:56
  wait,
• 6:57
  the
• 6:57
  longer
• 6:57
  you
• 6:57
  stay
• 6:58
  in
• 6:58
  the
• 6:58
  version
• 6:58
  of
• 6:58
  yourself
• 6:59
  you've
• 6:59
  already
• 6:59
  outgrown.
• 7:00
  And
• 7:00
  I
• 7:00
  don't
• 7:01
  think
• 7:01
  that's
• 7:01
  who
• 7:01
  you
• 7:01
  want
• 7:02
  to
• 7:02
  be
• 7:02
  anymore.
• 7:03
  With
• 7:03
  love,
• 7:04
  Yaya.
• 7:11
  Sa.