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172. Empower Your (Mental) Space · Your Enriched Self

0:00
Speaker 1: The things I'm thankful for is this year we celebrated
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Speaker 1: my mother and I got to dance with my mom,
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Speaker 1: and that's not something you get to do every day,
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Speaker 1: and I'm just grateful and thankful for that experience to
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Speaker 1: be with her, with my siblings, that was a wonderful,
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Speaker 1: wonderful time. And so I just want you to make
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Speaker 1: room for Thanksgiving today. I know it's Thanksgiving, it's the
0:26
Speaker 1: season of giving thanks, but we should be thankful every
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Speaker 1: single day, and there's so much in our lives to
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Speaker 1: be grateful for. So I just wonder what are you
0:35
Speaker 1: grateful for? Hello, my friends from all across the globe,
0:53
Speaker 1: and welcome to the Your and Yourself Podcast. I'm your host,
0:56
Speaker 1: my Lee Noir. I am an emotional wellness and empowerment coach,
1:01
Speaker 1: and what that means is I am here for you.
1:04
Speaker 1: I want to make sure that you are focused on
1:08
Speaker 1: the things that will help you to become more of
1:10
Speaker 1: your enriched self. Because we know that everything starts in
1:14
Speaker 1: a mind, and once you plant the seed in your mind,
1:19
Speaker 1: you're going to harvest whatever it is that you've planted.
1:22
Speaker 1: And I want to make sure that you are reaping
1:27
Speaker 1: the harvest, reaping the life that you want to live,
1:32
Speaker 1: and it all starts with your thoughts. Your thoughts create things,
1:36
Speaker 1: Your thoughts create worlds, and it's important for you to
1:42
Speaker 1: connect those dots each and every day by the things
1:46
Speaker 1: that you're doing, by the things that you're saying, and
1:50
Speaker 1: how you are showing up in this world. So, if
1:54
Speaker 1: you're new to this podcast, I want to welcome you
1:57
Speaker 1: and thank you for being here. I know that you
1:59
Speaker 1: were brought here on purpose, for a purpose, and if
2:05
Speaker 1: you are a repeat listener, I want to thank you,
2:07
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. We are on episode one hundred
2:11
Speaker 1: and seventy two and I could not have done that
2:13
Speaker 1: without you. Without you, there would be no podcast. Without you,
2:18
Speaker 1: there would be no platform to have these candid conversations.
2:22
Speaker 1: So thank you for being a part of that from
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Speaker 1: day one or whenever you decided to jump on board
2:29
Speaker 1: here at the Your and RISL podcast. Now, before we
2:33
Speaker 1: get started with this week's episode, if you know you know,
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Speaker 1: one of the things that I do each and every
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Speaker 1: week is I make a deposit into the bank of you,
2:43
Speaker 1: and I do that by way of affirmations. Affirmations are
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Speaker 1: a great way to start your day and to command
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Speaker 1: your mourning and this week's affirmation is I accept clarity
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Speaker 1: and calmness to fill my mind. I accept clarity and
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Speaker 1: calmness to fill my mind. I accept clarity and calmness
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Speaker 1: to fill my mind. Now, let's get ready for this
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Speaker 1: week's episode of the Your Enriched Self podcast. So I
3:35
Speaker 1: want to pick up the conversation that we started last
3:37
Speaker 1: week about empowering your space, and so this week we
3:42
Speaker 1: are talking about empowering or strengthening your mental space. And
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Speaker 1: so I want to make that shift because I know
3:51
Speaker 1: that's a big component of this podcast is about mindset.
3:55
Speaker 1: It's about mindset fusion topics. It's also about making sure
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Speaker 1: that you are in a space in your life where
4:01
Speaker 1: you have clarity. And you may be right now in
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Speaker 1: a space where you are not in focus, not as
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Speaker 1: clear about what you need to be doing, when you
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Speaker 1: need to be doing, how you need to be doing it,
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Speaker 1: all of those types of things. And so this is
4:18
Speaker 1: really a good opportunity to have this conversation. If you're
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Speaker 1: like me, organizing your space is one thing. But if
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Speaker 1: your space is in good shape and your mental clarity
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Speaker 1: isn't there, you still have work to do. And typically
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Speaker 1: it's the opposite, right It's like when your mental area
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Speaker 1: is messed up, your physical space kind of showcases that.
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Speaker 1: Anybody know what I'm talking about. It's all about organizing, right,
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Speaker 1: So we need to work on the things that are visible.
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Speaker 1: But this week we're working on what's invisible, what other
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Speaker 1: people can't see. But what chaos that you're having in
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Speaker 1: your mind? What mental clutter is keeping you from thinking
4:56
Speaker 1: through and walking through and working through the daily things
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Speaker 1: that you are inputting into your day right as you
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Speaker 1: do work, as you drive to work, as you manage
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Speaker 1: your work and your home life. There are so many
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Speaker 1: things that's consuming you and you want to make sure
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Speaker 1: you have content that enriches you. So this is the
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Speaker 1: question of the week, right. The question is is the
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Speaker 1: activity that you're doing from day to day is it
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Speaker 1: consuming you? Or is it enriching you? Or does it
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Speaker 1: overwhelm you? And so if you are answering those questions
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Speaker 1: with a yes yes yes, or a yes no yes,
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Speaker 1: or however many times you say yes to what it
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Speaker 1: is that's happening, it is an opportunity for you to
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Speaker 1: practice mindfulness. It is an opportunity for you to begin
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Speaker 1: setting daily intentions so that you can make your mental
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Speaker 1: space more empowered, because it's all about empowering your space.
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Speaker 1: And so I want you to spend this next moment
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Speaker 1: writing down for yourself three non negotiables when it comes
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Speaker 1: to your mental wellbeing, three non negotiables. For example, it
6:25
Speaker 1: may be journaling at the end of the day. It
6:29
Speaker 1: may mean finding time for prayer, making prayer a priority
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Speaker 1: at the start of your day and at the end
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Speaker 1: of your day or throughout the day, whatever it is
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Speaker 1: for you, there are some things you are going to
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Speaker 1: need to ensure that your mental wellbeing is prioritized. Because
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Speaker 1: what I find with many people, especially women and some
6:57
Speaker 1: of you know who you are, you are not prioritizing
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Speaker 1: your mental well being. And what that's going to show
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Speaker 1: up like is that you have allowed your boundaries to
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Speaker 1: be broken, or you may not be maintaining the boundaries
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Speaker 1: that you created. And so that puts you in a
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Speaker 1: compromising position where you're now spending time or energy or
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Speaker 1: resources in a space with a space with a person
7:28
Speaker 1: that is not helping your mental well being. So now
7:33
Speaker 1: you've put yourself out there when you were not ready
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Speaker 1: to be out there because you've already established boundaries that
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Speaker 1: say this is not how I'm going to go out there.
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Speaker 1: So that's why it's important to write down those non
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Speaker 1: negotiables to a answer the question for yourself, what's important
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Speaker 1: to you and why are you doing the things that
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Speaker 1: you're doing in the way that you're doing them. In
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Speaker 1: other words, being intentional about prioritizing your well being because
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Speaker 1: you want to live a fulfilled life. You want to
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Speaker 1: live an enriched life, and you're not going to live
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Speaker 1: that if you constantly feel overwhelmed, overlooked, or stomped on.
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Speaker 1: And so your boundaries have got to be a number
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Speaker 1: one on the list of things that you are managing, creating,
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Speaker 1: and maintaining along the way of life. Now, there are
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Speaker 1: some other things that you should be doing to help
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Speaker 1: you strengthen and empower your mental space. I at the
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Speaker 1: top of this podcast spoke about the practice of gratitude,
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Speaker 1: and it is a practice because a lot of times
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Speaker 1: people feel like, well, I mean I tell people thank you.
8:55
Speaker 1: It's not about the thank yous, It's about you recognise
9:00
Speaker 1: what you need and what has blessed you. It may
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Speaker 1: mean that family time you're grateful for that. That may
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Speaker 1: mean that you need to prioritize making time for family.
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Speaker 1: If you are grateful for me going to the gym.
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Speaker 1: It may mean that I need to make sure that
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Speaker 1: I'm prioritizing going to bed on time so I can
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Speaker 1: get to the gym in the morning. It's that simple.
9:31
Speaker 1: And so focusing on that positivity and building a gratitude
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Speaker 1: practice not just when you're feeling low, but on a
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Speaker 1: day to day. See, the thing about it is you
9:43
Speaker 1: don't want to build this stuff up or build this
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Speaker 1: up only when you're down. You want to be in
9:51
Speaker 1: a practice of gratitude so that when you're down, you
9:54
Speaker 1: can just pick up where you left off. And so
9:56
Speaker 1: that's what the practice will allow you to do. The
9:59
Speaker 1: other thing that I want you to practice as you
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Speaker 1: are managing or strengthening your mental space is self care.
10:09
Speaker 1: And self care is not just you know, doing all
10:13
Speaker 1: the things on the outside. Self care is making sure
10:17
Speaker 1: on the inside you look just as good as you
10:19
Speaker 1: do on the outside. I do believe in having a
10:22
Speaker 1: spa day and having the massage and the manicure and
10:25
Speaker 1: the pad. I believe in all that, but I also
10:27
Speaker 1: believe it's important to be in practice of having a regular,
10:33
Speaker 1: well balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and making sure that
10:39
Speaker 1: you find opportunity in your day to relax. Here's another
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Speaker 1: self care that I want you to think about. How
10:49
Speaker 1: many of you are at work. Are you making time
10:54
Speaker 1: to do something like take a ten minute break throughout
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Speaker 1: the day? Are you taking your two ten or fifteen
11:02
Speaker 1: minute breaks throughout the day. Are you taking a lunch
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Speaker 1: and walking away from your desk? So these are simple
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Speaker 1: moments of practicing self care that often go overlooked. I
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Speaker 1: really want you to start focusing on the things that
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Speaker 1: you overlook because you're thinking about, oh, this weekend, I'm
11:21
Speaker 1: gonna go do this, and I have this plan for
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Speaker 1: this that's wonderful. But while you're gearing up for those
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Speaker 1: big activities, focus on the little things you can do
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Speaker 1: every day to give yourself back some time. What I
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Speaker 1: call the gift of time for me, gifting yourself time.
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Speaker 1: So that's practicing self care. I want you to think
11:43
Speaker 1: about the network you have around you, the network of people,
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Speaker 1: the support network. Not just I mentioned earlier my health
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Speaker 1: journey network family, or my health family, my fitness family,
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Speaker 1: but there are other areas networks that you need to
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Speaker 1: have yourself involved in, supportive in, and supporting others in
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Speaker 1: because you are gonna need those spaces as you deal
12:10
Speaker 1: with things. Here's the reality. I wish we could just
12:13
Speaker 1: sit here and talk about all the wonderful things that
12:15
Speaker 1: life is going to unfold. But the reality is life
12:19
Speaker 1: is going to life and they're going to be things
12:22
Speaker 1: that come up that require you to have a network,
12:26
Speaker 1: not require you to go find a network. Now, sometimes
12:29
Speaker 1: we do have to go find a network because maybe
12:31
Speaker 1: we don't have that community built. But that's why you
12:35
Speaker 1: should have a community built, because within that community, if
12:38
Speaker 1: something comes up and you need a resource, that community
12:42
Speaker 1: may be able to help you get to the resource.
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Speaker 1: So focus on building your networks, not just a network.
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Speaker 1: But again I mentioned my fitness family. I have a
12:52
Speaker 1: work group of people that I can rely on. I
12:55
Speaker 1: have some friends that I can rely on. I have
12:57
Speaker 1: a prayer warrior group of people that I go to.
13:00
Speaker 1: So make sure you are building networks because within each
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Speaker 1: of those networks, they're going to be people and resources
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Speaker 1: under those people. And the only way you're going to
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Speaker 1: know that is if you have the network already built.
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Speaker 1: Don't get to building when you're in distress, because it's
13:19
Speaker 1: going to make the journey much more toxic and challenging.
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Speaker 1: When you already have a network, and you can go
13:26
Speaker 1: there to ask for help and sometimes be the help. Right,
13:31
Speaker 1: So we're not just trying to be the takers. We
13:34
Speaker 1: want to be able to give. And so that's why
13:36
Speaker 1: networks are important. I'll say, also, I want you to
13:40
Speaker 1: do something that you probably don't do enough of, and
13:43
Speaker 1: this is something that often goes overlooked, is you need
13:46
Speaker 1: to challenge the negative thoughts. I talked about this a
13:51
Speaker 1: few podcasts ago, and probably one of my first episodes
13:55
Speaker 1: in season one or you know, the first ten or
13:58
Speaker 1: fifteen episodes, I talk about automatic negative thoughts, and yes,
14:03
Speaker 1: we have automatic negative thoughts or ants, ants, And the
14:09
Speaker 1: truth is we have about eighty thousand thoughts a day,
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Speaker 1: and eighty percent of those thoughts are negative eighty percent,
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Speaker 1: and so that is alarming. And that's why when those
14:22
Speaker 1: thoughts come up, you must challenge them. You must identify them,
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Speaker 1: and then you must challenge them because and I say
14:31
Speaker 1: challenge the thoughts, but oftentimes the thoughts are rooted in
14:36
Speaker 1: the belief, right, the belief that you can't or you're
14:41
Speaker 1: not enough. There's a belief that was triggered by a behavior,
14:46
Speaker 1: by something that someone said in your past. That often
14:50
Speaker 1: is not substantiated. So somebody may have said something to you,
14:54
Speaker 1: but they just said it as an opinion. It wasn't
14:57
Speaker 1: a fact. And because you were young, because you were
15:00
Speaker 1: emotionally immature, you accepted that as truth, and that true
15:05
Speaker 1: became your belief system. And that belief system has you
15:09
Speaker 1: having these negative thoughts and when you don't challenge them
15:13
Speaker 1: and go to the root of the belief you just
15:16
Speaker 1: adopted and it just becomes a way of your life.
15:19
Speaker 1: I want you to challenge the negative thought, but not
15:21
Speaker 1: just what you just thought about, but why did you think?
15:23
Speaker 1: Why do you think the way you think? Because if
15:25
Speaker 1: you start to unravel that, you're going to find a
15:28
Speaker 1: lot of the things that you were taught or the
15:32
Speaker 1: things that you allow to just be because it was
15:36
Speaker 1: culturally accepted, it was what traditionally people did. Those traditions
15:45
Speaker 1: and those culturally accepted norms, those are the things that
15:49
Speaker 1: often get us in trouble because we don't spend enough
15:53
Speaker 1: time challenging the thought, challenging the how and the why
15:58
Speaker 1: and the what. That's what I mean by challenging the
16:02
Speaker 1: negative thoughts is not just a thought, but what it's
16:05
Speaker 1: rooted in and understanding what that is. I'm gonna encourage
16:10
Speaker 1: you to just be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself.
16:18
Speaker 1: We are our worst critic and sometimes we are just
16:23
Speaker 1: plain out judgmental and disrespectful about ourselves, and that shows
16:33
Speaker 1: up in a variety of ways. One way that we
16:40
Speaker 1: don't show up for ourselves and we are unkind to
16:44
Speaker 1: ourselves is that we try. You try to shoulder everything
16:54
Speaker 1: that comes your way. And I get it. We were
16:57
Speaker 1: taught to be strong and had your business and do
17:01
Speaker 1: the thing and get through it. And you can do it,
17:05
Speaker 1: and I can do it by myself, and I can
17:06
Speaker 1: do bad all by myself. We were taught all those things.
17:08
Speaker 1: I can going back to the belief systems who taught
17:11
Speaker 1: you that? Because when you look at the person that
17:14
Speaker 1: taught you that, and you see how they struggled and
17:22
Speaker 1: how they were in a grind mode, and you know
17:26
Speaker 1: that for that individual may have worked, but that is
17:30
Speaker 1: not your portion. Why are you trying to stay on
17:34
Speaker 1: a struggle bus when they're all these different vehicles you
17:37
Speaker 1: can use to get through life, especially in this current
17:40
Speaker 1: age of technology and all the things that are available
17:44
Speaker 1: for you at your disposal. Why are you allowing yourself
17:50
Speaker 1: to struggle because it's what you saw, and because what
17:53
Speaker 1: you saw shape the way you believed, you thought, or
17:57
Speaker 1: you think that you should also be struggling. The truth
18:01
Speaker 1: is there's a different path for you, there's a different
18:04
Speaker 1: journey for you. But you're choosing to adopt and retain
18:10
Speaker 1: a belief system that said that that was acceptable. That's
18:14
Speaker 1: what everybody did, that's what all the women did, That's
18:17
Speaker 1: what all the girls did. That's what everybody and you
18:20
Speaker 1: adopt that and you believe that, and that becomes the
18:22
Speaker 1: way of your life. And then you wonder why why
18:26
Speaker 1: am I here? Because you believed your way there, And
18:31
Speaker 1: so be kind to yourself, acknowledge when you need help.
18:35
Speaker 1: That was really my core message here because so many
18:37
Speaker 1: people want to shoulder it and do it, and I
18:39
Speaker 1: can do it all by myself. The strongest thing, the
18:43
Speaker 1: bravest thing, the most important thing you can do is
18:48
Speaker 1: know when you need help, number one, and then also
18:52
Speaker 1: ask for help. Do not suffer in silence. Finally, I
18:58
Speaker 1: just think it's important to do a mental dump. Just
19:06
Speaker 1: the way we declutter or we reduce clutter in our homes,
19:10
Speaker 1: in our lives, a physical clutter, there's an exercise where
19:14
Speaker 1: you need to also reduce remove the physical, I'm sorry,
19:18
Speaker 1: the mental clutter in your life as well. When you
19:22
Speaker 1: have a clear mind, clarity, when you know what's happening,
19:27
Speaker 1: when you have more alignment, you feel more empowered. That's
19:31
Speaker 1: just the truth, and so you're gonna have to do
19:35
Speaker 1: some work. Kind of goes back to those belief systems
19:39
Speaker 1: I talked about making sure that you can identify them
19:44
Speaker 1: and unravel it a little bit. Once you do that
19:48
Speaker 1: one section of it, you'll realize that this thing never
19:51
Speaker 1: really was substantiated by anything. It was really a person
19:54
Speaker 1: in my life that had a very strong opinion and
19:57
Speaker 1: I didn't have one to count or that opinion, and
20:01
Speaker 1: so I just accepted what they said because they were older,
20:04
Speaker 1: or they were an elder in a community or whatever.
20:07
Speaker 1: A teacher, a clergy person, I don't know, a parent.
20:11
Speaker 1: It could be a multitude of things. But it's important
20:14
Speaker 1: to reduce the mental clutter. There are things that you adopted,
20:20
Speaker 1: there are thoughts that you accepted as you went through
20:25
Speaker 1: this year. I'm hearing people now talk about what I'm
20:28
Speaker 1: not carrying into twenty twenty five, and I think you
20:30
Speaker 1: should have a list like that. What I'm not going
20:32
Speaker 1: to accept is that I can't do hard things. So
20:37
Speaker 1: many of us never try because we just never think
20:41
Speaker 1: we're capable. So many of you never try because you
20:46
Speaker 1: think you're not capable. That's a clutter, that's a mental clutter.
20:51
Speaker 1: What if you replace that with I'll at least try.
20:57
Speaker 1: I'll try a couple times before I say I'm not
20:59
Speaker 1: going to do it again. Reduce that clutter, align yourself
21:03
Speaker 1: with your goals. You're not going to do that. If
21:07
Speaker 1: everything that you've ever thought in your life, every circle
21:12
Speaker 1: that you've been exposed to, every environment, you have kept
21:15
Speaker 1: every thought, it's time to clean those thoughts up. Make
21:21
Speaker 1: room for the new thoughts, make room for the new ideas,
21:26
Speaker 1: make room for the witty innovations that you are going
21:29
Speaker 1: to create to improve your life, to enhance your life,
21:32
Speaker 1: and to empower your life. I hope you enjoyed this
21:43
Speaker 1: week's episode of the Urine ritsub podcast. And the only
21:46
Speaker 1: way I'm going to know this is if you leave
21:48
Speaker 1: me some feedback. Feedback is a gift and it is
21:51
Speaker 1: free to give. And I would like to hear from you.
21:53
Speaker 1: I would like to know what resonated with you regarding
21:56
Speaker 1: this week's episode. Now here's how you leave feedback on
22:00
Speaker 1: the platform in which you listen to this podcast. Follow
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Speaker 1: the stars. When you get there, leave a five star rating.
22:06
Speaker 1: But in all seriousness, when you get there, you can
22:09
Speaker 1: share your feedback on this podcast and that helps us.
22:14
Speaker 1: And when you share your feedback on this podcast, it
22:17
Speaker 1: helps others find us in these podcast streets. So we
22:22
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Speaker 1: the last three to five people that you spoke with today. Also,
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Speaker 1: you can share this on your socials. You can find
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Speaker 1: me primarily on Instagram because that's my jam, that's where
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22:52
Speaker 1: D S E l F. And you can hashtag this episode.
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23:01
Speaker 1: in the social streets what you're listening to and what's
23:04
Speaker 1: feeding you mind, body and spirit. I also want you
23:07
Speaker 1: to check out the show notes. In the show notes,
23:10
Speaker 1: we have the affirmation of the week, the Quote of
23:12
Speaker 1: the week, and there you can also find my Amazon shop.
23:17
Speaker 1: The R and Rich self shop has two items right now,
23:21
Speaker 1: a journal which is the Show Up Everyday Journal, as
23:25
Speaker 1: well as the Show Up Everyday Notebook, So check those
23:28
Speaker 1: out in my Amazon shops. And finally, take what you
23:32
Speaker 1: can from this episode and do what you must in
23:35
Speaker 1: the next one hundred and sixty hours so that you
23:39
Speaker 1: can become more of your inbridged self until we meet again.