The Grief Nobody Let You Have at the Funeral

The Second Closet with Juan Galan · Oct 20, 2026 · 8m

After the grief post went up, one man left a comment I haven't been able to stop thinking about. He said I'd left out the biggest grief of all, the AIDS years, and that men of his generation have been carrying a grief the size of a planet while younger men keep telling them to get over it. He was right, and I left it out.

Last week was about the losses where nobody died. This episode is about the ones where somebody did, and it's for every man who buried someone and was never allowed to grieve him as the person who loved him most.

In this episode:

Why so many men say they buried their…