Latest / Sistas IN Sync / "This is above my pay grade!"

Transcript

"This is above my pay grade!" · Sistas IN Sync

• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: What's up, what's up, what's up, you guys?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: This is your girl Ashley.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: Hey y'all, this is Diamond.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: And we are finally back for another episode of Sisters in Sync.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I know y'all are tired of hearing that shit.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Listen.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: Life be life.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: Knock on wood.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm at my wood desk right now.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Life be fucking life.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my God.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: It really does.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: Car trouble, job, trouble transition, vacation kids.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a lot.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a lot.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a lot.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but we always can make another vow to to to come back full throttle and reinvent ourselves.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Sis, how you feeling?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: How you doing?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: What's going on?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, today.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: Today I'm feeling pretty good.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: I went to work, of course.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: And next week estate testing.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so that just comes with a lot of just a lot of everything.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like anxious teachers, anxious kids, kids that are just like everybody's just ready to be done.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like this is the last final push, but you don't have any push left.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: And so work is just like like right now, I have no PTO, like my PTO is totally gone, and I desperately want a day off.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm like, um how how like I don't want to be missing money from my check, but still I'm like, I really do need a day off.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: So dealing with that, I did have some car trouble last week, which is so irritating, especially when I don't know if you know, I'm sure a lot of people have had this happen to them, but you know, we say when God works in mysterious ways, you know, He'll never put on you more than you can bear.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so I thank God, of course, for me having the money to go out and you know, make sure that I could get that starter put in my car because it wasn't cheap.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: Look at listen to Manny barking every time.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: I wasn't gonna say nothing you did.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: Girl, a mess.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: And um, it's like either one, it's either the kids or Manny.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so, long story short, get in my car, about to drive off, hit the push to start, and nothing happens.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought it was my battery, but come to find out it was my starter, and I had just gotten it so crazy because I had just gotten my tax refund um the day before.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so I was able to, of course, put it in the shop, get the starter and all that, but it took a hefty ass chunk out of my tax refund.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but also, you know, I live in Nashville now, so I just think about if I had gotten in my car to drive off to work, living an hour and a half away, I would have been sitting outside in the heat waiting on somebody to come get me.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: So my starter could have gone out months ago when I was living in Clarksville, but it didn't go out to now that I'm living 20 minutes from work.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_02: So things, everything happens for a reason.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: I thank God that I had the funds, but god damn, when you be in the thick of it, it's just like, what the fuck?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: I just want to go home.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, so with all that being said, I'm doing pretty good, doing good, just really waiting for this school year to be over.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but then next next month, the last day of school, like last day of work for me is when I start my doctoral program.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I was like, oh Jesus.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: What did I do?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so I love it.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: I just hear Michael Jackson, don't sound clear good enough.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: I logged in.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: I logged in the other day, well, like two days ago, and I was like, I should probably log in and see what's going on.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so, like, had to do like some financial aid forms and shit.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm just like, oh, this is really real.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like, these classes are sitting here in the queue.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I have a dashboard, so I'm just like, oh lord, like it's all starting back over again.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, all in all, I think I'm I think I'm doing pretty good.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: How you doing, sis?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm doing okay.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: This this economy just sucks so bad.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: And we're gonna kind of get into this later, but to be in a spot where I just I thank God I do have a job with some income coming in, but I fucking hate this job, bro.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, but it's not just me, and I guess that's what keeps me settled.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: But I the more and more I have to deal with my management, it just it buys it eats a pay, it it eats a piece of me away every day.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um and it's always it's not necessarily the job because I know what to expect.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's the lack of pay for what I do because what I do for a living, I can be getting paid more.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Or we should be getting compensated more.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: But um, because we go above and beyond calling duty.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: But that's most black women, and again, we're gonna get into that as well.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: But um dealing with white management is always just and I thought with escaping corporate America, I would escape that because I work for a nonprofit, but realistically, wherever white people are, drama's gonna be.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's just my experience, and that's my um am I in the drama like her to be?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's just just the microaggressions, the racism, the differential treatment, and the only camaraderie I have, the only hope that I have is working with my team because we're a group of all black women.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: We're busting numbers, we're doing the damn thing, and we have each other's back.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I always hate when I hear other black women say the stereotype of oh, black women in the workplace.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: The black women I work with are fucking amazing.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: All of us are different ages, we have different walks of life.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Some of us have kids, some of us don't, some of us are married, some of us are not.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: We, some of us are college educated, some are not, some of us are veterans, some are not.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: So we have a really vast group of non-monolithic black women from all different places, from all different walks of life and sexuality.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I love the black women at my job.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: Hell of us are from different places in the diaspora, but for the most part, all of us get along fairly well, especially in my subsector of where I'm located.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: So it's beautiful.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's what keeps me going.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Not even my clients.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm at a point where I have compassion fatigue.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was laughing with one of my co-workers earlier because long story short, just to share a quick story, there's this guy.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: He's a nuisance at my job.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: He's known for being locked up all the time, being physically violent, verbally violent.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, he's just, like I said, he's a nuisance.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I was outside, I love taking breaks throughout the day, just trying to go outside to get some sun or take a walk or something.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: I was outside one of my coworkers, so he came up there, and we haven't seen him in months.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's been, we really haven't seen him since last year on Christmas.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: He's been locked up for a violent offense.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: And he came up there all drunk in the middle of the day, talking about, I'm back, I'm out.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, guess what?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: I got beat up on.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, okay.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: My co-worker hit me so hard because that was all I like.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even have the compassion.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, when I really don't fuck with you, or I know what your nature is, or like I'm getting like this with men in general.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: I have no compassion.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know where that's coming from, but I was just like, oh, okay.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: My co-worker literally was like, bitch.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I don't give a fuck.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I like the man got jumped, he got stitches in his head, and I was just like this, no emotion.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I just walked back, I said, okay, and I walked back inside and left her with him because I'm not talking to this nigga.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you let white women call black female co-workers black bitches, like fuck you.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you just, and then too old.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, it's like it's this old show.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: It came on in the 70s called Good Times, and there was a character on this show called Ned the Wino.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: This man is real life Ned the Wino in real fucking life.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I just be like this.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: I just be disgusted with him.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no compassion.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: None.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: And then, like a lot of my other clients, you know, it's just life is hard for a lot of people right now.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes it's like I'll be working this job where I'm forced to help people a lot financially, whether it's paying half of rent or assisting with utility bills or assisting with groceries or diapers for babies or whatever the case is.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, damn, I can be using a little assistance too.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna bring a little grocery in my house, you know.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my God, yes.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: My parents I live with who, you know, been working, I wish I could pay half of their mortgage, you know what I'm saying?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: Or can you get that help?
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just like, damn, I'm helping people when I've when, you know, me and a lot of people in my personal life need help, but can't get that type of help.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: So it's definitely a conundrum to be in.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes I'm like, if I was a scammer bitch, but I'm not.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Life is just, and we'll get into that later, but right now I'm just like, okay, it's kind of cool, not cool, but it's just it amazes me every year when we say, oh, time is flying by.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: It really is.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: We're already in Q2, which for me, Q2 is August, I'm sorry, April the 1st through June the 30th, the second quarter of the year.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: So we'll be half of the year done.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I'm just like, I'm just gonna keep on applying for jobs.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think I'm gonna start back working seven days a week, getting a part-time job on the weekends again, and lease until the end of the year.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: I got some more stuff I want to do and save and pay off, but it's just like I don't know.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_02: That's not how I'm doing right now.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: I was I definitely feel you in what you're saying about your job, like how you're there helping people, and you like, shit, I need those.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: I need those benefits.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: I need that, I need that help.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, my family could use that help.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's kind of like been the story of my life in education.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like I pour into these children and these families, you know, and I have my own child who I wish I could be home with.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: I wish I could be a stay-at-home mom and be her teacher, be her caregiver full-time, but I can't, you know, and it's like my child struggles daily, and here I am daily somewhere else trying to, you know, be an ally and advocate for kids who aren't even mine.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I've been doing that now for going on almost over 10 years.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think that's like the you know, sometimes I come home from advocating and being an ally for other people's kids.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even feel like reading a book at nighttime to my own.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: And that's been the story of my life for my whole career.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I definitely, I definitely understand what you mean.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, we are here.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: We're recording together.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: We've made the time.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: We have intentionally stepped into this space.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: So that's always good.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: This is something that we both chose to do.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um so yeah, we are gonna get started.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have too many topics, but we we could go for a while with the topics we do have.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: So let's get into it, girl, first.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: And now we know this is a little old, but we still want to talk about it.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: Drewski.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: And his, you know, said but not said, technically not said, Erica Kirk's kid.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: He never said her name.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: He never mentioned her or put her name in any captions.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: It just was assumed.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: But I need your thoughts on this.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_02: Well, first off, I think Drewski is by far one of the most influential, groundbreaking, funny, vitality, witty.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: The list can go on and on for this generation, like comedies of the comics of this generation.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: Him using uh social media platforms, YouTube, things like that.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: It definitely gives this generation, but the way that he is doing it and how smart he is, and he's being honest.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's another thing.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if we talk about these last few skits, there's three skits that come to mind.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: There were like back to back to back.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: And it was the white southern guy that he did, it was the preacher of the um mega church, and then it's this one, you know, the um what would we call her?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: The uh what you call white woman.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: The um I would just say, let's for for shit and games, let's just call the conservative white woman.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the conservative white woman.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so my guy.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, and so I think it's just the it's so real.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like you can't help but, you know, that saying laugh at your pain, the shit is so real and it's so fucked up that it can't be nothing but funny.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so when it came to this, I remember that morning rolling over, and as I was watching, and I and I said, I'm gonna I'ma try something, and I kept refreshing it and just seeing the numbers on his original post just go up and up and up was just so gratifying and so cool to see.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm just like, Yeah, yeah, look at this shit.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like, look at how fucking despicable and ridiculous this shit is, but this is like stuff that's really happening in real time.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it's also funny because, like you just said, Ashley, he never mentioned us uh a specific person's name, and of course he did that.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um he was very smart not to do that.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: He didn't do that with the mega church um or anything like that.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: There wasn't a specific pastor.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: Wait, no, we knew he was talking about my time, though.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly who these who these people are, um, and so I think that is what is so amazing about it and and why he's getting the popularity that he has is because it's honest.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's honest, it's truthful, it's real.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_02: And the people who are saying, like, oh, you know, what if I were who was the dude that just tried to do blackface?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: And Drewski was like, Jake Paul, his stupid first of all.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: If you're gonna do something like that, the least make it funny.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, you fell fucking flat.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: To be honest, most people got what most women, especially, because I follow majority women on my social media platforms across the board.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well most black women said was you look better as a black man than you ever did as a white one.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody gave a fuck what you had to say.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, let's not sit up here and act dense.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: We know history in this country.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: You motherfuckers were doing blackface as a as a derogatory connotation toward fucking black people.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: It was negative.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all were getting paid on it, y'all were making fun of black people.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: But the difference between a Drewski and a Jake Paul and any other white motherfucker that was doing blackface, first of all, it was a social experiment.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: Drewski didn't go into like, oh, I'm gonna strictly make fun of white people.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: Drew white people, Drewski makes fun of everybody.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: And it's specific instances.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: I think the only reason why y'all are mad is because it's putting the mirror up.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, if we if we're really gonna go tit for tat on it, give black people a hundred years of doing white face and we'll see how you like it.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: But with on the same grain of salt, y'all only like certain things that y'all find funny because y'all didn't have this energy for L Wayne's when they did White Chicks.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all didn't have the energy for Martin Lawrence in the 90s when he was uh what was it?
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: On his name, Bob?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Bob.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: From the office.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: Listen, but it it's just it's comical.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: But then it's like too, black people, we love comedy because most black people will tell you Tropic Thunder with Robert Downey Jr.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: was fucking funny.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: The shit was hilarious.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: But it wasn't at the expense of all black people.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Just like I know a lot of white women that don't act like Erica Kirk, that found that shit hilarious because guess what?
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't holding the mirror up to how fucking stupid they are.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's the difference.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: So while you try to maximize the moment and even white people in your space, like Theo Vaughn told you, hey man, don't do that, but you fucking did it and the shit fell flat.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I I didn't even pay attention to it.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: I looked at it a few days later.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm not giving that bitch no views.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: I was looking at it through other people's pages.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: The only thing I reposted about Jake Paul the day he calls himself dropping the blackface kid was when you got your ass whooped by that black British fighter who I cannot think of his name, and I'm pissed off because he's fine as hell.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: But that's what I want to see.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: You getting your ass beat like you should have been getting your ass beat.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Piece of shit.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: I think it I think it goes back to a hit dog gonna holler.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like if you really feel some type of way, it's because that's your ass.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like you is it's it's triggering because it's calling you out.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_02: Plain and simple.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I wanna and I really want to give Drewski his prof to refocus the conversation on him.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: I found the definition from Merriam Webster, the dictionary, the actual Merriam-Webster dictionary.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Confused the children.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Dictionary?
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I looked up the term anthropology.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: I've been obsessed with anthropology since I was a kid, like the study of humans.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: But basically, here's the Miriam Webster official definition of anthropology.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: Anthropology is the comprehensive scientific study of humanity, encompassing human biology, evolutionary history, social relations, and cultural across time and space.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: It investigates what makes human humans unique, analyzing diverse cultures, languages, physical adaptation from ancestral origins and modern societies.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: I really wanted to give Jusky his props because everything you said was right.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like this man is amazing at what he does, and I'm talking Eddie Murphy level, because granted, my fair one of my favorite movies is Nunny Professor.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's it's just something to laugh at.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's stuff that, you know, I've experienced as a bigger person that other big people have experienced, but at the end of the day, it's fucking spot on to what people Eddie Murphy and Coming to America.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: That man is not African, but it was fucking spot on.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: Eddie Murphy in all of his roles.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: This man was playing six of Drewski.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: My favorite skit he's ever done was when he acted like the white boy who wants to be black.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody was mad at that skit.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, yes.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: That was a good fucking skit.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: Because I know white boys like that.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: I love when Drewski acted like the Hispanic chick.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: That was funny.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: When Drewski acted like, um, what's that skit?
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: He was a he acted like he was on the dating show as a black dude who don't date black girls.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: That was fucking funny because this shit is true.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: Drewski is a master at what he does.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I really feel like, you know, outside of skits, this man has it down to a fucking science.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: And he outdoes himself outdoes himself every time.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: Every time.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because outside of the obvious people that we see he's talking about, whether we're attra if you just attribute it to the makeup or wish the makeup be on point, he has a white makeup artist, by the way.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: To the fashion, he usually gets that down to a team.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: But if we take that out and just go for the core of the how he talks, the cadence, the things he says, the mannerism, how he moves, you can name 20 people in that category that you know when you're real wife.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: So how is that not?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: I honestly feel like this is a I wouldn't be surprised that when we're our parents' age in our 50s or going into our 60s, if this wasn't just a big social experiment from a social experiment from Drew Skin, this nigga drops a fucking book.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: Even with his shows, the the could have been recorded auditions or his dating shows.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: Could have been love.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: But I watch his shit.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: In the high school together.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: She's the yeah, she went to high school.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: She went to Kimwood.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: She was a year above me.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: She graduated in 2011.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: The nigga bitch.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Crazy.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: CC Chanel.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: She went to Kimwood High School.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: Shout out to her.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: Amazing person.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: In the small world.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, like, can wrap her ass off.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Very, very smart.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: She was one of them girls.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you can give her a topic and she'll come up with a rap on the spot.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: Fucking amazing.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: It was an amazing writer.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: I had a few classes with her, my freshman, I think, sophomore, but yes, yes, yes.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's crazy.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if Drewski comes out with a study or textbook or a fucking book.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and the way that he's able to, you know, reverse because I thought it was genius.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: When Drewski said, I can't be racist, I have a white granddad.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: And when you check it out, his father is actually biracial with a white dad.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: He pulled a them on them.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when I think back when Drewski acted like the southern white man in NASCAR, y'all couldn't fucking tell.
• 23:07
  unknown: Yeah.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_02: And that's what made folks so mad is because it was a gotcha.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: And they didn't like that shit.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: But you on the flip side of that niggas knew.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: White people, y'all are so stuck on skin color.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all couldn't look at his hair text and tell that was a full nigga.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: Cause I can't lie.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: At first, when you just look quicker when you're scrolling, the from the the sunburn, the the way he was talking, I didn't realize it.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: It took me like, it took my brain five seconds to compute.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, that's risky playing.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: But at first you don't, but it's like, niggas, we know.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: We we need a feel for each other.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's why it's like a black person is always gonna know.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: Even back in them days when people were passing, I've read books and articles and historical recounts.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: Black people fucking knew.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: Now, did do we tell business or do we, nah, that ain't my business.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: But when the black, like for instance, even with Reese, I don't know if you've seen the controversy with Reese Witherspoon.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: She posted a picture with her, her mama, her daughter.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: I you girl, Reese Reese, and Reese Witherspoon, fun fact is from New Orleans, Louisiana, her mama looks Creole, like she passed.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna show you a picture.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: And as a nigga, we always know.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_02: I think two people got people, white people were worried about that too, because it's also like, oh shit, if he can blend in and get a pass out here, where else can he go?
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that we that you know, where else can he infiltrate?
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but to the naked eye, wow.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: But she looked like she's something else, yeah, in my personal opinion.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: I mean she could not be great, but it's just it's just I sit down there to say, niggas, we know other niggas, like but any caboodle, you know, Druski, you fucking did that.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I've I can't wait to see what else he does going down the line.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: I I honestly I can't wait till he makes fun of the Asian community.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: Now that will be a sight to see.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, so on to next topic.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: I want to read the article.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: This came into my email.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: I follow Black Enterprise.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it's wealth for life, it's like a business, financial wellness leather, but they also drop, and it's dealing with money, but they also drop like lifestyle articles too.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: And this one hit me for a loop.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: The U.S.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: fertility rate hit record low in 2025.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: Experts cite why having kids has become less desirable.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to read part of this article, and we're gonna credit the Black Enterprise, and I will drop a link to the article so you guys can reference it for yourself.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: The U.S.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: birth rate fell to a record low in 2025 with experts pointing to why starting a family has become less desirable for young women.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: New data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows the U.S.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: fertility rates reached a record low in 2025, with experts pointing to the reasons behind the decline.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: The CDC released provisional data on April the 8th, which was last week, showing that U.S.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: birth rates has reached a new record low, extending a nearly two-decade decline, routers reports.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: Since 2007, the general fertility rate has dropped by nearly 23%.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: The trend mirrors global patterns as fewer women are choosing to have children amid shifting social dynamics.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: Philip Levine, an economics professor at West at Wesley College, excuse me, credits the declining birth rate among younger women to greater and more demanding job market opportunities, expanded leisure options, increased intensity of parenting, make the option to have children less desirable.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: And the data, based on 99.95% of all birth records received and processed last year by the National Center for Health Statistics, a division of the CDC, as of February the 3rd of this year, shows that the number of babies born in the U.S.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: in 2025 fell an entire 1% from the previous year to about 3.6 million.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: The general fertility rate measured as births per 1,000 women ages 15 to 44 also dropped 100% to 53.1%.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: While birth rates have risen among women in their 30s and 40s over the past decades, those increases have not been enough to offset the ongoing decline among women under 30.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: Data shows the fertility rates among women between the ages of 25 to 29 declined about 4.4% in 2025, while the rate for women ages 30 to 34 increased roughly by 2.7% from 2024.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: And teen pregnancy also continued to fall, with rates dropping 7% for those between the ages of 18 and 19 and 11% lower for younger teens between the ages of 15 and 17, both reaching record lows.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: Fertility rates are declining across countries, research shows.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: Recent data from the Economic Commission for Latin America and the Caribbean's latest demographic observatory shows that Latin America now averages 1.8 children per woman below the 2.1 replacement level needed to maintain a stable population.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: This marks a sharp shift from the 1950s when women in the region had an average of 5.8 children per one woman.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: At Pontificial Catholic University of Chile, sociologist Martina Yopo Diaz, and excuse me if I pronounced your name wrong, attributes the decline of growing really attributes the decline to the growing reality that children and reproduction more broadly are playing increasingly marginal role in the life plans of the younger generations.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I will, again, we will link the article if you would like to finish it, but says I have a lot of thoughts.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: What are your thoughts on this?
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: I think I mean the reality of it is, I mean, as a woman in her uh 30s, you know, I have two children and I do have PCOS, but I'm not looking to, you know, go on any type of fertility medication or press the issue because number one, economically, you know, it's just not feasible right now to bring another child in this world.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we could make it work, but I'm not, you know, it's like I'm not, I'm not seeking to get on like a fertility medication or like, oh gosh, I'll be, you know, 30, um, 35 or whatever, so I need to make sure that I have another baby, you know, it's like, no, that's nowhere near what what I'm thinking about right now because the main thing is money.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we're like living in a time right now where things are just so very, very expensive.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember like, if I compare, I had joy back in 2016 compared to KJ in 2024.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember, I remember going into the store and like, God damn, formula cost this much now, diapers cost this much now.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um even, you know, you flash forward to now, like I was talking about at the beginning of the show, like getting my income tax money, getting me and K-Ron's income tax money.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: We also had to take the kids' summer clothes shopping.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like both kids had grown out of everything, and they both needed new wardrobes.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: And that shit is not cheap.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know, so hell no.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: I think also too bringing, you know, another child in this world at such a time where things are just so up in the air.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_02: I think it look if it seems selfish in a way that like um we don't know what's going on, you know, what could happen with, you know, the man who's in office.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like, is there gonna be like some crazy ass war?
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like we and and we just trying to live day to day.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_02: So it make ends meet.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_02: So hell no.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: Thinking about bringing another child in this world is just so far removed from me right now.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-mm.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: Hell no.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so all of that, I have a lot of thoughts.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: So just to share, I am 30, I just turned 32.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: Tomorrow, the four, yeah, tomorrow the 14th will mark a month since I've been 32 years old.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: I have no children.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I've always said I've wanted one child.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: Always.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's always my thing.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: One or two, but and again, this is nuanced.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: I think this is new, obviously, we are a show that aims for black women, millennial listeners, or just all around black women in general.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: So some of this stuff is nuanced strictly to black women, black women, but some of this stuff is nuanced to me.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's a lot of reasons why I don't have a baby and why I don't want one right now.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and for reference, I said if I don't have a kid, which the universe of God can have other plans, but if I don't have a kid right now, by the time I'm 38, pack it up.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I just won't have one.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um First of all, for me, I'm not a black woman that's a glutton for punishment.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: I live with my fucking parents.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_01: I shouldn't be having a kid.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: They like I help out around the house because it's the right thing to do.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, I'm sitting here shitting on their toilet paper, eating their food.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I contribute monetarily.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: But they foot the bill.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not having them have another mouth to feed.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's one.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: Two I'm not one of them black women that agrees with the single mom phenomenon.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of black women that I know that are single mothers, who have been single mothers, as dated as single mothers, they fucking struggle.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: And black women, we don't have enough suitable partners.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, we just don't.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of black women that have black baby daddies, a lot of them, not all of them, but majority of them, they don't get the help they need.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of black women who are married are still single mothers to their fucking kids.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: These niggas don't want to be parents.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: I want to continue my legacy.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, nigga.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: I always say word choices and language is they're very important.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_01: You don't want to continue a legacy, nigga.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: You want to continue your lineage.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: You want your last name to spread, but at what cost?
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_01: You niggas don't leave property.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all barely want to pay child support.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I know niggas that get upset that they have to pay, they pay$20 a month for one child.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_01: I know that for a fact.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to struggle that way.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be a single parent.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's not, and again, I know for nuanced reasons too.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: There are women that do everything right.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_01: I can get married tomorrow to a nigga, we can have a baby, and he still could leave me and not do right or cheat or whatever, and I'm still stuck.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's always gonna be mama's baby, daddy's baby.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: Niggas change, especially in our community.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like, I'm not finna deal with that shit.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: Not if I don't have to.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: So there's not a lot of suitable partners.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I don't think I have the mental capacity.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I love still being selfish.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't imagine having to come home from fucking work dealing with what I deal with.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: I have to deal with white people and microaggressions.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: I have to deal with veterans and men.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: I have to deal with that shit all day.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_01: And to come home, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no, bitch.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what?
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm not doing that.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um and the amount of guilt, the mom guilt that you feel when Saturday and Sunday comes and you're spent.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like you have nothing, and you want to stay in your bed all day, but the guilt that you feel of no, I need to push myself, I need to get up, I need to get them out of the house, I need to spend time with them.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_02: That is a constant situation.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_02: The mommy guilt, like the going and taking, you know, a self-care day or going out for drinks instead of coming straight home.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like that, like that will rack your brain and your emotions, and it will take a toll on you.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_02: Another thing I was thinking of too when you were talking, Ashley, like how we live today in the anxiety and the depression, and then the constant work-life balance, there's no wonder that there is a decline in fertility.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_02: How the hell are we supposed to be fertile baby making machines when we're also taking citrulline and dysaline and dataline and all this shit to make sure environmentally our food kills us today?
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_02: To make sure that we can actually hold it together, you know?
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: And so you're constantly going up, you know, with your hormones and like I said, the anxiety and the depression and the shit that you're dealing with every day.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, that go, that that's another reason why I'm sure fertility is at an all-time low.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, like, I just I think that's why, especially in America, we see the Republican, trad wife, MAGA conservative, you know, we saw what they did to that black woman in Atlanta who fucking died and they had her baby on the incubator who's struggling right now.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: They're pushing for younger kids, younger girls to have babies.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, bitch, I'm 32.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_01: I still be outside.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not giving that up.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like I like going and coming as I please.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have to answer to nobody.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have to, I can have$20 left in my account.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: I can spend them$20 on me.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, no.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: And another big reason outside of not having a suitable partner, not having the mental capacity, bitch, with what fucking money?
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: And we're gonna get into black women getting paid less for doing, being the absolute backbone of America.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just call a spade the spade.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: But bitch, I make roughly$800 a week.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: I pay my car note.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to get out of credit card debt.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_01: I pay my cell phone bill.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_01: I shop occasionally here and there.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: I have my little maintenance appointments.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: Bitch, I'm really not even saving like I want to.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: So that's leading me to have to get a part-time job.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not the best with money, but I've never been a bitch that's never not paid her bills ever.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: Even when I had my apartment for three years in Asheville, never called ex home for money, ever.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna have groceries my life, everything was always paid.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: But damn, it's like I remember back in the day day, well, not even back in the day day, pre-COVID.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna I'm gonna let y'all in.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: 2019, I was living at home.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_01: I had a contract job.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: I was making$622 every two weeks.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_01: Was living like a queen.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: I was going, I was out all the time.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, paid my and at the time my car note was$386.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because I had my old car that the week I paid it off, it got total.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: But we're not even gonna get into that pain.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: My car note was$386.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: I paid my little cell phone bill.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: And at the time my cell phone bill, I think I was right at an even$100 before everything just kind of went up.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that's$486.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_01: I had a credit card, one credit card bill, or two credit cards, but I think monthly my bills came up to maybe six.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_01: So one check was bills and the other$622, mama was out.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: Nails wasn't even as high back then.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: Hair wasn't as high.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so it's just like I was living real scanty, but I was happy.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah like I was traveling.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like now, when I want to travel, I'm like, all right, what month I make five paychecks for because it's like I use all the, you know what I'm saying?
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just like I'm not, and then under this administration, the fact that I don't have the right to choose, I don't have the rights over my own body is fucking crazy in the year of my God 2026.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: The fact that I can go to prison for having my body naturally having a miscarriage, despite the circumstances, fucking nuts.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, even if I was to get pregnant, as much as a happy moment that would be for me, especially if it's under all of the right circumstances, I wouldn't even share that with the world because you know motherfuckers be nosy.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, the bitch was pregnant with a baby, not a police at my door.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_01: If I was to get pregnant right now, I'll be taking me a trip to Illinois.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not, no.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's there's nothing you can tell me.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's like, again, you got, and it triggers me so bad.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_01: And you have a lot of women that's like a lot of people will, black people will judge you.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're meant to procreate, multiply, you're being judged.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: No, bitch.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: You barely have an Why do we keep making kids and bringing kids into the world where you don't, you can't even feel for yourself.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm saying.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I wouldn't even have a kid because I'm living at home with my mom and my daddy.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_01: You got bitches that already got 20 fucking kids.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like, for instance, this is a real life story.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_01: It was a black woman crying on live today.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm pregnant again.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what I'm gonna do.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: I have three kids, I'm barely making it, I'm a single mama.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_01: You fucking know what it took to get, you know what it takes to get pregnant.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_01: And and and quietness, we have more access to birth control.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: Well, for now, because I still have my birth control implant.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: If I have to renew it and I'm still under this regime, I'll go to a different state to do it.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: But we have condoms.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_01: We have access to more shit than what they have.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: There's no excuse.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: None.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's one thing for the like, but not even the first time.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh no.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's been so many people that work in DHS, CPS, social uh so they are social workers.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's so many people that should not be fucking having children.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's like it pissed me off when you had a lot of men trying to put play of us on us, like, oh because a lot of women were saying it should be forced sterilization and protecting me.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's a slippery slope.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know trans?
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, bitch, because y'all forced us to have kids.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_01: If you already have six kids in the system, like for instance, I have a friend of mine who's a foster parent.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: More power to her because I couldn't do that shit either.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: She's a foster parent.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: She has a set of siblings.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's one set, it's three siblings.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: But guess what?
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: The mother has 15 other fucking kids.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus Christ.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_01: You should have been sterilized after the first two because you're not doing shit.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_01: You fucking are drugging, don't you having babies to fucking have babies and you're not taking care of that's what's tax.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's another thing.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: We America, our tax dollars pay for that shit.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_01: These kids don't have nowhere to go.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_01: In the state of Tennessee, we just had a big case.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: You had fucking DHS workers pipping these fucking kids out.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_01: Well, why should not everybody want I'm I don't want to adopt.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's not that's never been my stees.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_01: If I don't have a kid naturally, I just won't have one.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm never going to adopt.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: I never want to take people because people, you it's just like with dealing with people.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: You never know people and you never know what you're bringing in your house.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_01: And you and if shit is genetic, I'm sorry.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's why for me, when I date niggas, you need to read out loud.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_01: What's your family history?
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I got high blood pressure, high cholesterol, but nigga, or do you have serial killers?
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: Shit is genetic.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm not bringing no nobody in my house, kid or not, that I don't fucking know.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just like it's so many, but why would you bring it?
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not bringing, like Diamond said, we can wake up tomorrow.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: And Iran could decide to bomb the fuck out of us.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not putting my child through that.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: I think more about my future kids that I don't have the niggas that have kids.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no, absolutely fucking not.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's why the birth rates are down.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: But then it's like women are run of and let's talk about it, D.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna get into it with our next story too.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_01: Especially with black women, because we are a black women podcast.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta hear money out.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what do I want?
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_01: I don't give a fuck.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: Black women in our community, not only do we raise the children, we are the community.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_01: We run circles around our men, financially, education-wise.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: You think I've been and and I hate the statistics, but statistically, a black woman is more likely to be a single mother than not.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: No, absolutely not.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because guess what?
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't fuck myself.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's just not right now.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_02: Not right now.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely need to pause for the calls.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, it's just not.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: You out here fucking lap that shit up.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I just, you know, I just had a conversation with um my best friend.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_02: We were talking about going on, she wanted to take like a couple's trip in um in July.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I can't afford that right now.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_02: And so she was, you know, a little upset because she went ahead and like her and her dude went ahead and paid for their for their trip.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, you know, well, you're still going with him, you know, so why are you upset?
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so I had to like break it down to her that like when she eats, her family's fed.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like she has a little dog or whatever, but like it was just a really, it was just a really tough conversation to have with somebody, someone that you really care about.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_02: Because I was trying to frame it, it wasn't a dig at her, you know, not saying like, oh, you don't have a family or nothing like that.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_02: But I was just trying to put things into perspective for her.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_02: Is that true?
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, our life is not the same in that way, you know.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_02: So I have a full family to take care of.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_02: And godparents and grandparents, they're great and they're wonderful, and I appreciate everything that they do for my two kids.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_02: But me and K Ron had to get out here this past weekend and go clothes shopping for them, you know.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_02: Joy is wearing a size 10 shoe, size 10 women's shoe.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_02: Her foot is bigger than mine.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_02: She's now in a size 11, 12 junior jeans.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_02: She's also in a women's medium shirt.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I also have to buy hair products for her, even though I do her hair.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_02: She has to have hair products.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_02: KJ gets his hair braided.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_02: So these are just like the necessity things that we are funding.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_02: Also, I have a child with special needs.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_02: So she has medication.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, she gets state funds or whatever, but that only covers half the cost.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_02: You know, she still has copays and things like that that has to be paid for.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_02: So I was just really trying to get her to understand, like, yeah, I would have loved to go on that trip, but no, that's not in the cars right now.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, well, you should have said, da-da-da-da-da, and this and that.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_02: Life happens.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I didn't know that my car was gonna go down or this was gonna happen.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_02: So I just say, you know, all at the same when you do have, when you're in a friend group, I think it's very important that we remember the dynamics of each other's lives and what we have going on and things like that.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_02: And just being understanding and cognizant of like how I told her, girl, when you when you go home and it's a week, you you you know, you down to your last hundred dollars and you got a week till payday, you can go and get you some food or whatever.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_02: But me and mine, like, we we make your shit shake a whole total different way because we got babies.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: I got babies to feed.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: It took me a minute to understand, but I've always been kind of to that, at least with my friends and children.
• 48:56
  unknown: Yeah.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's why like for me, I think it's important.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I said this on, I said this a while ago.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_01: I think I said this a few years ago when my when my best friend had her first baby, who is now seven, which is crazy.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_01: I think I still had Twitter back then.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_01: I said, as a and a lot of people ate me up for this shit.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: Now I see people saying it, and I'm just like, okay.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_01: But I got ate up for saying, I think it's important when you are a single woman with no children.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of your friends are gonna have kids.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_01: You have to have friends that are also childless sometimes.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_01: Because I can't lie, some of my best girlfriends got kids.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I know they can't go.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be like, fuck, we can't turn up like we used to be.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: One of my girls, but four kids.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, bitch.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_01: We was painting the motherfucking town.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was their girl.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I was their girl.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_01: Now it's like I'm still in the same place.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_01: And not like mentally, but it's like I don't have kids, so I could just, girl, let's go.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_01: But now we have to be a lot more attention to what we plan, and you know, she don't trust everybody to baby circuit.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I get that.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_01: But now it's like, all right, I got three or four homegirls I can call.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_01: Either they kids who are teenagers, or they don't have no kids, that can fill in the gap.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_01: So you have to, you have to.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's an advice I give too.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_01: But my when I said that is, oh, you're, you know, you're just not understanding that.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm just supposed to sit in the house every time my friend can't go nowhere.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not doing that.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you do want to go out and kick it with your girls.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and the same, and that's how I was trying to get it right.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, your best friend is not gonna, and I have to catch myself.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_01: I used to dissociate a lot.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like I now I have a good group.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes in my office, I'm the only one without kids in my group.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'll just get quiet or dissociate because I don't relate to that.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_01: So they'll be calling, talking about their kids or that teacher.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_01: I've gotten better with listening, but so a lot of the times I will just be like, um, so I think it is important for women to have kids, to have friends with kids, because they can be like, girl, because one thing me and my friend got into it about a while ago when we were transitioning to our friendship.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, girl, every time we fucking talk, we're talking about I don't want to talk about no kids.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_02: And see, for and then for me, having, you know, the flip side of that, having a family, a husband and kids, when you have a best friend who was dating, it's like I'm over here with like bills, husband, kids, family shit, and you want to tell me about your escapades with your dating life.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know, my best friend would call me, and I'm just like, uh-huh, mm-hmm.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_02: That's and then in my mind, I'm just like, shit, that sounds like a fun time.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and I'm here folding folding clothes and changing asses.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_02: You telling me.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_01: I changing asses.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's just like, I don't know.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's it is it's very, I will say in a friendship relationship dynamic, that's hard.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's hard being really close with someone who is not in that place in their life because it's almost as if you start to see you all drifting apart, and you have to be intentional, but intentional about finding ways to keep that connection.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_02: I have noticed that about me and my best friend.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_02: We have to be intentional about calling each other, checking in, being honest with each other, and falling back on like the memories we've made and the things that we love about one another.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_02: Because if we don't, those little things will drive us apart because we are in such different spaces.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think too, um, I think the one thing that's different as far as in why the birth rate is down, and I and it's so many older women, even some of our older coworkers, non-black co-workers, will say, hey, don't do it.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_01: Don't get married.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's so many women I know, women I don't know, women I work with.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's women that I don't even fucking care for, but that cares for me in such a way that I'll be like, hey, live your fucking life.
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think one thing about women, even with you, you haven't lost your like I know, and again, I don't know your story as far as then being a mom.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: We talk a lot, but it's just I don't know what you think about when you're laying down your head at night.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_01: So correct me if I'm wrong, but from how I perceive you, we're not our moms.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you're not, you haven't lost your note in K Ron so much that you thought, all right, bitch, nope, I'ma go out with my girls, or I'm gonna go to the book club, or I'm gonna and I think a lot of women are like even uh singleness is so prevalent now with women in general across race, especially with us, because it's just like I've seen girls I've been to high school with, like it's two girls that I know personally, um, who have a village.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_01: It it's each girl has two kids.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_01: They live in, they have uh, they built them like a little, they have live next door in these little two duplexes.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_01: They have their own community.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_01: One pick up the kids, one take a bat.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_01: If one wants to go, they have made their life to the because at the end of the day, your women or your girls always gonna be there.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just like I think that's another reason why the birth rate is down because men are just not dependable for the most part.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like most women, when they die, even single women, their friends are gonna be around them.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_01: Nephews, nieces.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I'm trying to rephrase my singleness.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm not lonely.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just single.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's a message.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_01: I have friends and family that love me down.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_01: Versus the actual the the average man, even if he's married, he can't go have a deep conversation with his homeboys or his wife.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because black men are not vulnerable in that way.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_01: I can call anyone in my Rolodex and cry my eyes out right now, including you.
• 55:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if Diamond was to call me, y'all, and say, bitch, listen, it is a Saturday.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_01: Mom and T C gone, me and K-Ron, we just wanna lay in the bed for two hours in utter silence.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm packing my shit and I'm going right up to Nashville to make sure her and K Ron get what they need and watch them babies.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_01: Cause that's the sisterhood that we built.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the beautiful part about women now.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_01: Kids with no kids.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_01: At the end of the day, when you lay your head down at night, you have yourself, you have how you feel about yourself, but you also have that roller decks of women.
• 56:30
  unknown: That's right.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_01: Your mothers, your aunties, your co-workers, your friends.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's the beautiful, and then and as sick as this is, the only thing that keeps me going at my job are them five women that work alongside me every fucking day.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's not the money, it's damn sure not the money.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_01: The job market sucks as I fucking hate having an all-white management team because they're fucking racist as fuck.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_01: My clients drive me up the fucking wall.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I work in a field, in a male-dominated field, for the most part, as far as in dealing with the mostly male clientele for what I do.
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_01: So the only thing that makes my life worth living, going to work 40 hours a fucking week, are them five beautiful black faces that I see when I open that door in the morning.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_01: Kids, no kids, 30s, 20s, 40s, I encourage every woman to have, even if you don't have a lot of friends, having a solid group of two or three.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_01: And even like I have one of my very best friends, I visit her in Atlanta all as many as much as I can.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_01: Typically I go two to three times a year.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_01: But I encourage her, hey sister, I live in Tennessee.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_01: You live in Atlanta.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_01: Granted, we talk damn near three to four times a week.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's my nigga.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not there to reach out and touch you all the time.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to build a sisterhood where you're at.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I can't go to dinner and wine with you, which I can't because I live in Tennessee.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_01: You live in Georgia, we have two different time zones, just to go get some fucking wine.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_01: And she's starting to do that, and it brings my heart eternal joy.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because as my girlfriend, I want to see you succeed in every part of your life.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I think women need to talk about that more.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's always love, career, marriage.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_01: What about succeeding in your hobbies?
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_01: What about succeeding in friendship?
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know how much of a blessing that is that, and I've told you this, I've shared this with you.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_01: I ain't never been good with romance in my life.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_01: But everywhere I've been, I've always been able to make an amazing friend.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_01: Everywhere.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_01: Every workplace, um, every school I've ever been to, every city I've ever moved to.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_01: I have people that I visit or that's like half of the girls that you're going to meet at my mother's Violet ceremony are women that I've met throughout adulthood.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_01: One of my very best friends, I went to high school with her.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_01: I work with her and we see each other and talk and love with each other every day.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm rich.
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_01: I am rich.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you are.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I encourage women, fuck Bumble for dating.
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_01: Get on Bumble.
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_01: One of April.
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_01: Shout out to April.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm at April through Bumble.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, I didn't know that.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_01: We've been friends for like four years now.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_01: She's amazing.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I get passionate talking about that because the more and more I grow, the more and more I live, it's like, granted, I don't call this to my life.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't accept that.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm trying to stop saying that, but it's like, if I am realistically speaking, I will have known that I will not be lonely.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_01: Single?
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_01: Lonely?
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_01: Hell no.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what keeps me going.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, friend.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_01: I get emotional, honey.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_01: Think about my tribe.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all are amazing women.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then my tribe is so amazing, even when they don't know.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I think about when we went to that 90s, party.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_01: That was so much fun.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I had people like Diamond who I've known for almost the last 10 years.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_01: I've had some of them girls in the group was co-workers.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_01: Have Portia in the group.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_01: Shout out to P.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_01: Me and P be knowed just so we were 10, 12 years old, but everybody meshed.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_01: It was no weird shit.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_01: It was just all good vibes.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I pride myself on.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_01: I always can cure when I think about my Juneteenth party.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, that was so much fun.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my God.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_01: I can curate a space with women from all walks of life, different ages from different places.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_01: And we have a game night or make the conversation was the best part.
• 1:01:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like just different conversations we was having.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_02: So and I love, I love talking to like women of all different ages.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's so cool.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_02: Because we're learning, like everybody's learning.
• 1:01:30
  SPEAKER_02: And it's coming from a place of like wanting to know.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_02: There wasn't like no judgment.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_02: It was just straight up like, well, tell me about that.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_02: Because I've often thought about that.
• 1:01:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it wasn't like any type of like, mm-mm, girl, no.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that speaks, yeah.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that speaks to like who you make sure is around you.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like you, for instance, like when I come to your house, Ashley, I never feel like, oh Lord, who Ashley gonna have around there that's gonna be judging me.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like I've never felt that.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_02: And that's a testament to you making sure that you have solid people around you at all times.
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know?
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_01: Listen, I tell anybody, when you are oppressed, you know what unsafety feels like when you walk in certain places.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_01: I will never, never, ever, ever have a black woman in my space and she don't feel safe, loved, and appreciated.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_01: Even if she don't know you, hey, I know my group of friends have enough fucking sis to speak to you.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, sis, how you doing?
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_01: Or what's up, girl?
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_01: Or just a fucking head nod.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_01: Diamond can never come to me and tell me, hey, your friend made me feel real because she said this, that, and the third.
• 1:02:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, but you gotta go.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_01: I don't welcome that.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_01: Any of my friends know, like, and that goes for like, I have friends that are gay.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_01: I have uh I'm only like two or three friends of different races that have been in my house, have been in my space, been around my family.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_01: You can never sit up here and say, you felt uncomfortable in my space and my presence, or around my people.
• 1:03:08
  SPEAKER_01: That would be a goddamn lie from the pizza.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I will continue to do that.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_01: Even when I'm in public and social functions, I know what it's like to be a pariah.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_01: I am a fat, unambiguous black woman.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_01: I know how I got treat, how I get treated in certain wounds by people that look like me.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_01: Niggas avoid me like the bubonic play.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_01: Certain girls or certain people in our community that pass the brown paper back treat me like shit.
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_01: I will never make another black person for that shit.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_01: No matter if you the lightest of the light, hey girl, you still black.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, let's go.
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_01: If you gay, all right, what you doing, your bedroom with your business?
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_01: What's up?
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you like Indian food?
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what are we talking about?
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:03:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's just certain shit as a black person.
• 1:03:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of the times because women are made to feel like we have to compete for everything.
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's work, whether it's love, whether it's attention, whether it it's never enough space for all of us, that just brings out the natural competitiveness in all of us for everything that we do.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_01: I get, I don't listen.
• 1:04:10
  SPEAKER_01: If a bitch bad, hey, sister, come on, boots.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_01: You look fucking amazing today.
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_01: And that goes with my trans sisters too.
• 1:04:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's like it's no competition.
• 1:04:20
  SPEAKER_01: Cause nine times out of ten, we both going, we're both the same coin, different size of the spectrum.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, you train, hey, come in, bitch.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_01: What would you what you what you do with your makeup?
• 1:04:30
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, sister, like it's it's no, yeah, I'm not.
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, like my straight friends, bitch.
• 1:04:38
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, you see that girl over there?
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_01: She looks, she working that shit.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_01: She like my best, one of my best friends, she damn near makes triple of what I make, and I'm so fucking proud of her.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_01: Never once have she made me feel less than because I can't go to Nobu.
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_01: But when she goes to Nobu on a date and we should, I want to hear about it.
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm proud of her.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_01: She worked her ass off.
• 1:05:01
  SPEAKER_01: And guess what?
• 1:05:02
  SPEAKER_01: She got she truly is one of my friends that got out in the mud.
• 1:05:05
  SPEAKER_01: She didn't really have family support, but I did.
• 1:05:09
  SPEAKER_01: So to see her come this far and to see her constantly run the circles around the average man in her field, it makes me feel good.
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_03: One of us win and we all win.
• 1:05:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not here to hate on my next sister.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 1:05:28
  SPEAKER_01: So all right, sister.
• 1:05:33
  SPEAKER_01: Speaking of a sister, I want to talk about something that might be hard for us sisters to talk about.
• 1:05:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I think Brandy and her current memoir phases have brought this conversation out.
• 1:05:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I want your input on this.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um go ahead and lead the story.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna talk about Brandy and Yay Morris.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:05:53
  SPEAKER_02: Uh you know, I was scrolling and saw that Brandy came out with her new memoirs.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_02: Super excited.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_02: Can't wait to get my hands on it.
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's actually in my Amazon cart.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_02: I need to press the button.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_02: I need to buy it.
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but this particular part of the novel, she talks, not novel, the memoir, she talks about um her relationship with Wanyye from boys to men.
• 1:06:19
  SPEAKER_02: And the relationship began when I believe she was 15 or 16 years old.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_02: And Wanyye was in his 20s.
• 1:06:30
  SPEAKER_02: In the book, I think she gives a more specific age.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_01: I want to say she was like she was 15, he was 22.
• 1:06:38
  SPEAKER_01: She was their opener for a tour.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_01: Then I think when she turned 16 is when things got sexual.
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_02: And in the memoir, the stuff that I read actually heard, because one of the things that I heard online, she was reading it aloud.
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_02: And um one thing that she mentioned was that in the course of their relationship, she really felt like she had to take things to the next level as far as sex when she really didn't want to.
• 1:07:16
  SPEAKER_02: She lied to herself saying that basically she was lying to herself, saying that she really wanted to, even though she knew that she should not have sex before marriage.
• 1:07:30
  SPEAKER_02: She was lying to herself then saying that she was in love with him and that he loved her on that same level.
• 1:07:40
  SPEAKER_02: But of course, looking back, it was more of an infatuation thing.
• 1:07:45
  SPEAKER_02: It was also a thing of like pressure to do this so that this relationship can last.
• 1:07:54
  SPEAKER_02: And really, it just spoke to just being taken advantage of, I feel like, like your youthfulness being taken advantage of as a young black woman.
• 1:08:08
  SPEAKER_02: And it hit home for me because I, you know, to be honest and transparent here on the podcast, I lost my virginity very early on.
• 1:08:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I was in middle school, you know, I was 12 years old, losing, you know, losing my virginity.
• 1:08:27
  SPEAKER_02: And for me, it was very much since I didn't know my father, had daddy issues, all of those things.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_02: It was more of a, and it's cliche, you know, I know some people say, Yeah, I've heard that before, but this is real, like real for me.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_02: That's really how I felt was men, boys, or whatever you want to call them, young men at the time, saying, Oh, you're beautiful, or you're sexy, or I'm interested in you, just giving you attention, giving me attention at the time was very um, what's the word?
• 1:09:12
  SPEAKER_02: It was fulfilling, it was fascinating, it was intriguing.
• 1:09:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, and so I feel like even from older guys at the time too, I can remember being 12, 13, 14, and these guys were 17, 18, 19, you know, and knew very well how old I was.
• 1:09:43
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I would lie about my age, sometimes I wouldn't.
• 1:09:48
  SPEAKER_02: But me having those issues, you know, those self-esteem issues, daddy issues, being young, being vulnerable, and just being taken advantage of.
• 1:10:05
  SPEAKER_02: I will say too, Brandy put things a lot into perspective for me when this part of her book, you know, I heard this part of her book, then I got on social media and people began to kind of spin the narrative, and they started talking about how if roles were reversed.
• 1:10:32
  SPEAKER_02: So if the guy was younger and the woman was older, you know, and so I heard those conversations about like there's a double, you know, the double standard and all of those things.
• 1:10:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it's just, I don't know, it's just really sad that back then I feel like it wasn't necessarily the I would say, yeah, it kind of I kind of felt like the norm, like, oh, or she's fast, she's just a fast girl, you know, but not placing any of the responsibility or maybe even having conversations with us young girls back then of why we were making the choices we were making, not getting to the root of that, I think is what really boggles my mind is just labeling us as just fast girls making poor decisions.
• 1:11:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then of course the guys getting like a little slap on their wrist of, you know, man, you shouldn't be hanging out with her.
• 1:11:38
  SPEAKER_02: She's young or whatever, but or being or cheering them on, like, oh, you got you a young girl, you know.
• 1:11:46
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 1:11:47
  SPEAKER_02: It just made a lot of things come back up for me.
• 1:11:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I just I think about now it being so much more like that's I feel like a with the Me Too movement, a lot of people is like, no, this is fucked up, this is wrong.
• 1:12:02
  SPEAKER_02: But back then it just wasn't, it wasn't like that.
• 1:12:05
  SPEAKER_02: It was just kind of just swept under the rug.
• 1:12:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, she's 16, he's 20, like that's not that big of a deal.
• 1:12:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like it's not that big of a deal.
• 1:12:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm just like, even hit there was a clip of him on the Breakfast Club that was played.
• 1:12:20
  SPEAKER_02: And even when Charlotte, yes, when Charlamagne was asking him about it, and he was like, Yeah, we were in a relationship.
• 1:12:28
  SPEAKER_02: Did it like he just I don't know, it just and even Charlamagne and them didn't even hold him accountable when he was talking.
• 1:12:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I was just like Charlamagne, ain't because of his allegations he got on him, allegedly.
• 1:12:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:12:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just like, where's the accountability?
• 1:12:45
  SPEAKER_02: And are we not gonna like for the listeners who are listening to this?
• 1:12:48
  SPEAKER_02: Are we not gonna say, like, you know, that was a poor decision?
• 1:12:51
  SPEAKER_02: If I knew what I knew now, I would take that back.
• 1:12:54
  SPEAKER_02: We were young, we both were really young, and you know, as an older young person, I should have done XYZ.
• 1:13:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there was just no type of like remorse or if I could take it back type shit.
• 1:13:10
  SPEAKER_02: It was just kind of like, yeah.
• 1:13:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's like that excuse will work for Randy, not him, because even at 22, you think I was out here fucking the 16-year-old boy?
• 1:13:18
  SPEAKER_01: I would never.
• 1:13:20
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck no.
• 1:13:21
  SPEAKER_01: Nigga, you was grown.
• 1:13:23
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-mm.
• 1:13:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's just so like, and then it goes back to two, goes back to how black women are just so like thrown away, just thrown to the fucking wolves with like no rhyme or reason.
• 1:13:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's just like who protects us?
• 1:13:47
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's where I have to like grapple with.
• 1:13:55
  SPEAKER_02: Is like, where is our protection?
• 1:13:59
  SPEAKER_02: Who stands up for us?
• 1:14:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's just really sad.
• 1:14:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's heartbreaking.
• 1:14:06
  SPEAKER_02: It's heartbreaking.
• 1:14:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um It really is.
• 1:14:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's just because, you know, I was I was telling me and one of my friends was actually talking about this a little, like maybe like a few weeks ago, and just how everybody kind of like looked up to her.
• 1:14:21
  SPEAKER_01: She was one of my first friends that had her own apartment, 17.
• 1:14:25
  SPEAKER_01: She moved out.
• 1:14:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like she always did older dudes, but like now to hear her say, I would never let my child do that.
• 1:14:34
  SPEAKER_01: Or when I think about the girls, I was in high school with by the time we were juniors, seniors, y'all getting picked up by grown-ass soldiers at the base.
• 1:14:42
  SPEAKER_01: And we thinking that shit's cool.
• 1:14:44
  SPEAKER_01: That shit wasn't fucking cool.
• 1:14:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I knew girls.
• 1:14:50
  SPEAKER_01: I personally knew a girl when we were 14, her boyfriend was 19, he was in the military.
• 1:14:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just like, girl, her parents had not the slightest clue.
• 1:15:00
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just like, I blame for the parents that do know, because I have a parent that's in tune with everything that I did and knew me enough to know my patterns.
• 1:15:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, Brandy, your mom was with you.
• 1:15:15
  SPEAKER_01: Your dad was like, I blame them.
• 1:15:18
  SPEAKER_01: They had to know him because they they they were the you know, I think about Sonia, she was so big on Brandy's image, she made Brandy lie about getting married to Saray's dad.
• 1:15:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
• 1:15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Saray, I think it's Sarah's right.
• 1:15:32
  SPEAKER_01: But it's just like y'all knew.
• 1:15:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's just even when I think about Aliyah and R.
• 1:15:37
  SPEAKER_01: Kelly, like his mom with them knew.
• 1:15:41
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all knew.
• 1:15:42
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just y'all sit up here and say, oh, these girls are fast, but it's like y'all still out here fucking them and sleeping them, doing God knows what with them.
• 1:15:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it goes for little boys too, because a lot of you old cougar assholes that be looking at people's sons and shit.
• 1:15:58
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all need y'all ask me.
• 1:15:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:16:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's just all yeah, that's not okay.
• 1:16:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's not okay.
• 1:16:04
  SPEAKER_02: And no, it's not normal.
• 1:16:06
  SPEAKER_02: It shouldn't be normalized.
• 1:16:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I think in our community, we have got to start like talking about this shit more.
• 1:16:12
  SPEAKER_02: We gotta start talking to our kids more, having conversations.
• 1:16:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like I said, all of this like pointing the finger, pointing the blame at these young people.
• 1:16:22
  SPEAKER_02: No, but are y'all like sitting down having like real deal conversations?
• 1:16:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like, are you really asking them like why at 12, 13, 14 they are having these urges?
• 1:16:32
  SPEAKER_02: Do they even know where these urges are coming from?
• 1:16:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, these are the conversations that we need to be having.
• 1:16:39
  SPEAKER_02: What are they like looking at and you know, researching on the on these on the internet, on social media and things like that?
• 1:16:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like looking up to.
• 1:16:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, like it's time to really start having some conversations and stop just like driving motherfuckers to the goddamn uh doctor and putting them on birth control.
• 1:17:01
  SPEAKER_02: Like, no, like let's sit down, really like talk.
• 1:17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like, let's sit down and talk about why you want to have sex right now.
• 1:17:10
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you want to do that?
• 1:17:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I wish.
• 1:17:13
  SPEAKER_02: I wish my mom would have set me down and asked me that.
• 1:17:16
  SPEAKER_02: Instead, she took the route of like, when you're ready, tell me so I can put you on birth control.
• 1:17:22
  SPEAKER_02: And it was very much like, well, now I'm not gonna tell you, and I'm gonna sneak around and do it because you're not asking me why, you're just trying to like prevent.
• 1:17:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:17:38
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna just do what the fuck I want to do.
• 1:17:40
  SPEAKER_02: That was the type of attitude that I had, you know?
• 1:17:44
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
• 1:17:46
  SPEAKER_02: And it was rebellion.
• 1:17:47
  SPEAKER_02: I think that was another thing too.
• 1:17:49
  SPEAKER_02: It was very much like like this was around the time where I had found out that I did not, like I had found out that the guy that I thought was my father was not my dad.
• 1:17:59
  SPEAKER_02: And so that was just like, oh, fuck this shit.
• 1:18:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like it was just very much like rebel, rebel without a cause.
• 1:18:07
  SPEAKER_02: Anything basically that my mom told me to do, I did the opposite.
• 1:18:11
  SPEAKER_02: But once again, I mean, let's talk about trauma.
• 1:18:14
  SPEAKER_02: If you want to dig deep into that, after I found out that that wasn't my dad, nobody like took me to a counselor or anything.
• 1:18:22
  SPEAKER_02: I had to like deal with that on my own.
• 1:18:25
  SPEAKER_02: Did the guy just stop talking to you?
• 1:18:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:18:28
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 1:18:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:18:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'll never forget that night.
• 1:18:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that is like edged in the back of my head.
• 1:18:35
  SPEAKER_02: He called and was like, Did your mom tell you anything?
• 1:18:39
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, no.
• 1:18:41
  SPEAKER_02: And he was like, put your mom on the phone.
• 1:18:43
  SPEAKER_02: That was the last time I heard from him.
• 1:18:47
  SPEAKER_02: She sat me down, was like, that's not your dad.
• 1:18:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's what?
• 1:18:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's and so that's what we talk about, like responding to trauma and being like in traumatic situations.
• 1:19:02
  SPEAKER_02: So this is a dude that like I've known since a young girl.
• 1:19:08
  SPEAKER_02: Ben met all his family.
• 1:19:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm thinking this is my family, thinking this is my dad.
• 1:19:14
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not, and we don't have anything else to talk about.
• 1:19:23
  SPEAKER_02: So now what do you do?
• 1:19:25
  SPEAKER_02: You feel that void, or you feel that pain, or you try to take away that pain with whatever.
• 1:19:38
  SPEAKER_02: So I think it's it's prime time for you know for folks to start having some conversations and finding out why why these kids are making the choices that they are.
• 1:19:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 1:19:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's some heavy stuff.
• 1:20:00
  SPEAKER_01: That is heavy.
• 1:20:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry you went through that, sis.
• 1:20:07
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, sister.
• 1:20:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna let you talk about Megan Good, child, because uh you have put this on the docket, and I have, I'm gonna let you say what you're gonna say because I got some thoughts about that.
• 1:20:18
  SPEAKER_02: Megan Good, my girl Megan.
• 1:20:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, shout out to Megan Good.
• 1:20:23
  SPEAKER_02: Uh my, whenever I think of Megan Good, I think about K.
• 1:20:28
  SPEAKER_02: Ron, I think about my husband.
• 1:20:29
  SPEAKER_02: He has loved Megan Good for so long.
• 1:20:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I feel like that's one of his like celebrity crushes that he's always had like a crush on.
• 1:20:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I don't even want to, let's just, I'm gonna just jump right into it.
• 1:20:46
  SPEAKER_02: So with Megan Good, you know, I was online scrolling, heard this story, and I had to pause because I was like, is this true?
• 1:20:57
  SPEAKER_02: Is this real?
• 1:20:58
  SPEAKER_02: What is going on?
• 1:20:59
  SPEAKER_02: So Megan Good goes online and she talks about how I believe it was a makeup artist or someone who referred her to a product product that would help her eliminate dark spots on her face.
• 1:21:16
  SPEAKER_02: So she began to use this cream or whatever it was on her face, and she said she was on the red carpet like a couple months after she began using it.
• 1:21:30
  SPEAKER_02: She took there was a picture taken of her, and it made the and like broke the internet, and everybody was like, Whoa, Megan Good is skin bleaching, and then it like spiraled into this whole thing of like darker skinned women not loving, you know, the skin that they're in, or why do darker skinned women feel that when they are in Hollywood to make it they need to lighten their skin?
• 1:21:59
  SPEAKER_02: It just you know Megan Good hates herself.
• 1:22:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like these were like the things that people were saying on social media.
• 1:22:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and she goes on to say online that you know that really hurt her, that was not the case.
• 1:22:13
  SPEAKER_02: And come to find out, this is what she says, that the product that she was using to get rid of the dark spots was in fact had bleaching agents in it, and she was unintentionally bleaching her skin.
• 1:22:33
  SPEAKER_02: So she said, since then, of course, she you know, when she found out that it had bleaching agents in it, she immediately stopped using the product, and her skin was becoming to get, you know, beginning to get back to its you know, original shade.
• 1:22:55
  SPEAKER_02: Here's my thing.
• 1:22:57
  SPEAKER_02: So I did my own little lookup.
• 1:23:00
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, well, let me see how many other people are going through this.
• 1:23:03
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm like combing through the internet, and in fact, there are other women, black women, who are using dark spot products and are dealing with skin bleaching.
• 1:23:16
  SPEAKER_02: This is really a thing.
• 1:23:18
  SPEAKER_02: Now, do I a hundred percent believe this in fact happened to Megan Good?
• 1:23:27
  SPEAKER_02: I do not a hundred percent believe that.
• 1:23:33
  SPEAKER_02: I don't I think it's convenient that you can research this situation and use the dark spot whole thing with the fiasco as a way to smooth things over in the press and social media, and people stop saying that you hate yourself, you use that excuse.
• 1:23:56
  SPEAKER_02: But hey, that's my take.
• 1:24:00
  SPEAKER_02: What you think, sis?
• 1:24:03
  SPEAKER_01: You see, I was sweating my eyes like hmm.
• 1:24:06
  SPEAKER_01: I feel the same way because first of all, here's the thing.
• 1:24:08
  SPEAKER_01: Were you Megan Good, as much as I love her, I'm gonna call Space Bay, Megan and Lamaya, her sister.
• 1:24:15
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all let Khloe Kardashian put y'all on chains while this white woman dressed as a pimp put chains around y'all necks and the what is it, Khadijah and what's what's them girls?
• 1:24:29
  SPEAKER_01: Malika.
• 1:24:30
  SPEAKER_01: What's her name?
• 1:24:30
  SPEAKER_01: Malika Khadia.
• 1:24:31
  SPEAKER_01: Maleka.
• 1:24:32
  SPEAKER_01: Malika Khadijah.
• 1:24:33
  SPEAKER_01: What's the the what's the last name?
• 1:24:35
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I forgot the name.
• 1:24:37
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, y'all know what I'm talking about.
• 1:24:44
  SPEAKER_01: Were you not looking at yourself in the mirror at all?
• 1:24:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and gradually saw your skin changing colors.
• 1:24:50
  SPEAKER_01: Cause let me tell you something.
• 1:24:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm 32 years old.
• 1:24:55
  SPEAKER_01: When I first started getting blemishes and dark marks from acne, guess what my mama brought me?
• 1:25:00
  SPEAKER_01: Ambi.
• 1:25:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 1:25:03
  SPEAKER_01: Ambi.
• 1:25:05
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty popular with black people.
• 1:25:07
  SPEAKER_01: My target spots for acne or acne marks where I get them, my cheeks.
• 1:25:14
  SPEAKER_01: At the time, I think I had like four or five dark spots at once.
• 1:25:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I was using Ambi every day.
• 1:25:19
  SPEAKER_01: My mom looked at me, she said, this part of your face is getting lighter.
• 1:25:23
  SPEAKER_01: We're not gonna use that no more.
• 1:25:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I started noticing it too, at 14 years old.
• 1:25:28
  SPEAKER_01: So you're not gonna tell me you're a grown-ass woman.
• 1:25:32
  SPEAKER_01: I will estimate she probably in her 30s when this happened.
• 1:25:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm not buying it.
• 1:25:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if you want to bleach, that's on you.
• 1:25:41
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't, I'm at a point now where black people, we've had these conversations on colorism and bleaching, and honestly, it shocks me.
• 1:25:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I kind of I feel like I'm disassociating again because as a diaspora, peep black Americans, we don't bleach.
• 1:25:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's not stuff that we do.
• 1:26:00
  SPEAKER_01: Now, the Africa, the the Caribbeans, the country, uh, the Caribbean islands, yeah, they do that.
• 1:26:06
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm just like, girl, get a grip.
• 1:26:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now, do we experience colorism over here?
• 1:26:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but bleaching, ain't no niggas in the states bleaching, that's not what we do.
• 1:26:17
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-uh.
• 1:26:18
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just like you are fucking beautiful.
• 1:26:22
  SPEAKER_01: You have been a sex symbol, black sex symbol for a very long time.
• 1:26:27
  SPEAKER_01: Hell, she is still, she made good, still fine as fuck.
• 1:26:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like her being with Jonathan Majors, I don't, I don't understand that.
• 1:26:36
  SPEAKER_01: But that's that's nothing in or there.
• 1:26:38
  SPEAKER_01: But like, girl, girl, okay, girl.
• 1:26:45
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I need release.
• 1:26:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:26:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:26:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it just yeah.
• 1:26:58
  SPEAKER_01: So on to the next topic.
• 1:27:01
  SPEAKER_01: Getting price out.
• 1:27:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to play this video for you guys.
• 1:27:05
  SPEAKER_01: It broke my heart.
• 1:27:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I saw it on TikTok, but I've been seeing the influx of videos like this.
• 1:27:11
  SPEAKER_01: I want to play this and let you guys listen to it.
• 1:27:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know this young lady's name.
• 1:27:53
  SPEAKER_01: Shout out to her, but when I saw her, I legit I felt so bad for her, and I wish I could give her a hug.
• 1:28:00
  SPEAKER_01: But I seen another and I can't find it, but it was this young man.
• 1:28:05
  SPEAKER_01: He was Asian.
• 1:28:06
  SPEAKER_01: He said he had$200,000 of student loan debt, master's student.
• 1:28:10
  SPEAKER_01: He got denied from a job at Walmart.
• 1:28:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think millennials, especially millennials our HD, generation Y, we were told go to college.
• 1:28:21
  SPEAKER_01: Get you a job.
• 1:28:24
  SPEAKER_01: You'll get a good job because you went to college.
• 1:28:26
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of us did that, especially black women.
• 1:28:29
  SPEAKER_01: And now we're just sitting here like, I feel like this is us sitting here waiting for that trajectory to come true.
• 1:28:42
  SPEAKER_01: Cause you lied.
• 1:28:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yes, it's on.
• 1:28:46
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like the average, and and again, this trends back to what we were talking about with kids and babies.
• 1:28:51
  SPEAKER_01: We're getting priced out of every fucking thing.
• 1:28:53
  SPEAKER_01: My car, I have a Nissan Rogue amazing on gas.
• 1:28:58
  SPEAKER_01: I know that they are watering this gas down for this simple fact.
• 1:29:02
  SPEAKER_01: And this is with any car.
• 1:29:04
  SPEAKER_01: When you take a long road trip, typically the next time you get gas, you finna get some mileage per gallon on that bitch.
• 1:29:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I remember I went to Nashville, and typically when I go to Nashville, I get so excited the next time I have to buy gas because on the tip, my car, if I get a full-tank gas, that's about 420 miles.
• 1:29:23
  SPEAKER_01: I get like 36.9 miles per gallon in my car.
• 1:29:27
  SPEAKER_01: For me to have a small SUV, my gas mileage is fucking amazing.
• 1:29:33
  SPEAKER_01: So when I go to Nashville, typically I'm like in the 560s, 580s.
• 1:29:37
  SPEAKER_01: The next time I get gas, I'm like, yes, bitch.
• 1:29:40
  SPEAKER_01: This gas, I had gas.
• 1:29:42
  SPEAKER_01: 401.
• 1:29:47
  SPEAKER_01: At 389, I think I paid$46.
• 1:29:52
  SPEAKER_01: And guess what?
• 1:29:54
  SPEAKER_01: $46 for I was already at a quarter of a tank.
• 1:29:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's been time where my gas light has come on, I'm 30 miles to empty, and I've probably spent 35 bucks.
• 1:30:05
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just like, not only are y'all watering the gas down, gas is high as fuck.
• 1:30:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's not lasting like it used to.
• 1:30:13
  SPEAKER_01: Groceries are high.
• 1:30:16
  SPEAKER_01: Even just for me, I miss grocery shopping for just myself because it would be some unique things I would have in the house.
• 1:30:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I did a grocery list as if I was shopping like I did in my own apartment.
• 1:30:27
  SPEAKER_01: With a grocery trip, I probably would go to Kroger's and Aldi's.
• 1:30:32
  SPEAKER_01: Those were my stores of choice where I lived.
• 1:30:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I probably would spend like maybe$100 in Kroger getting like meat and my big things, like specialty things and produce, Aldi.
• 1:30:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I could probably spend realistically on groceries just for one month for me.
• 1:30:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm a person that keeps seasonings and keeps basic ingredients.
• 1:30:53
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm not including shit like that.
• 1:30:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I keep canned food.
• 1:30:56
  SPEAKER_01: So it's including seasonings, condiments, basic bake, basic baking and kitchen staples and canned food.
• 1:31:06
  SPEAKER_01: This is including my grocery shopping and all of my beverages.
• 1:31:08
  SPEAKER_01: I probably would spend like 160 a month.
• 1:31:12
  SPEAKER_01: Usually keep five or five to six cases of water, my spindrips, my drinks, whatever, plus like meat, other like fresh fruits and vegetables, and like, you know, noodles or rice or whatever.
• 1:31:25
  SPEAKER_01: 160 a month, right?
• 1:31:26
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 1:31:27
  SPEAKER_01: Bullshit.
• 1:31:28
  SPEAKER_01: I did a self, I just did an order from uh Kroger, and I had looked up some stuff at Treasure Joe's.
• 1:31:36
  SPEAKER_01: What was$160 is now$400 for one person in the apartment complex.
• 1:31:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 1:31:43
  SPEAKER_01: Even hair braining is how you know it's expensive out here when first of all, we don't even have Dollar Tree.
• 1:31:48
  SPEAKER_01: We have a$1.25 tree.
• 1:31:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like people are doing Dollar Tree hauls now because they can't afford life.
• 1:31:56
  SPEAKER_01: Life is so expensive.
• 1:31:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 1:32:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um I thank God.
• 1:32:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like I thank God every day that I'm not making that commute.
• 1:32:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like I never had any money.
• 1:32:11
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I was always at the gas station.
• 1:32:15
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:32:16
  SPEAKER_02: Always at the gas pump.
• 1:32:18
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm like, ooh, I have freaking$300 or$400 until I get paid again.
• 1:32:26
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, yeah, bitch, you do.
• 1:32:29
  SPEAKER_02: Cause that's how much you put in your gas tank.
• 1:32:33
  SPEAKER_01: Listen, when I used to commute the Nashville, every two days I was getting gas.
• 1:32:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yo, I'm like, oh my God, I have money until the next time I get paid.
• 1:32:43
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, yeah, motherfucker, because you don't have to put all your checks in the tank.
• 1:32:49
  SPEAKER_01: And here's the thing.
• 1:32:50
  SPEAKER_01: But see, back even back then when I worked for Enterprise, when you used to commute like that, they used to give us$200.
• 1:32:55
  SPEAKER_01: If you were a commuter from Clarksville, every check they gave you extra two dollars, extra$200 to offset gas.
• 1:33:02
  SPEAKER_01: Damn.
• 1:33:02
  SPEAKER_01: That$200 probably wouldn't even do nothing for the average person.
• 1:33:06
  SPEAKER_01: Because think about it.
• 1:33:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm back then my car was probably taking$35 give and take every two days.
• 1:33:14
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're doing four days a week,$35,$35 is$70.
• 1:33:20
  SPEAKER_01: So that's$140.
• 1:33:22
  SPEAKER_01: So$140 times four, and that's$280,$280 plus$2.
• 1:33:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's$560 on gas.
• 1:33:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I was$100 a week on gas.
• 1:33:32
  SPEAKER_01: But see, now with gas prices being higher, you'll probably be more than that.
• 1:33:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:33:37
  SPEAKER_01: There's no way.
• 1:33:38
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm so glad I don't I don't have that commute no more.
• 1:33:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's no way I could survive right now making that commute.
• 1:33:46
  SPEAKER_02: The best thing for my family was to move to Nashville.
• 1:33:49
  SPEAKER_02: I see that every day.
• 1:33:51
  SPEAKER_02: Every day.
• 1:33:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, yep, I'm so glad that that house we tried to get off exit eight said no.
• 1:33:58
  SPEAKER_02: That woman but God came right out here, came right out to Nashville in a more expensive house, say yes.
• 1:34:08
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, not more expensive, a cheaper house, say yes.
• 1:34:14
  SPEAKER_02: A cheaper house say yes.
• 1:34:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's just, I mean, it's just like it just that shit is crazy.
• 1:34:20
  SPEAKER_02: It's so crazy.
• 1:34:21
  SPEAKER_02: Cause I was like, oh, we should stay in Clarksville.
• 1:34:24
  SPEAKER_02: We should stay in Clarksville.
• 1:34:26
  SPEAKER_02: No, no.
• 1:34:27
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so glad.
• 1:34:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like every day I'm so glad I don't have to make that commute.
• 1:34:31
  SPEAKER_02: But then now the extra money that I'm saving, like, yeah.
• 1:34:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, wow, I have this much money until payday left.
• 1:34:39
  SPEAKER_02: Where I wouldn't have, I would damn, wouldn't have fucking damn near$50.
• 1:34:45
  SPEAKER_02: Waiting for that next check to hit me.
• 1:34:47
  SPEAKER_02: Or was overdrafted.
• 1:34:48
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 1:34:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, overdraft for that.
• 1:34:51
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm having to borrow money on my next check.
• 1:34:53
  SPEAKER_02: Girl, we'll overdraft for some gas.
• 1:34:56
  SPEAKER_02: Uh oh.
• 1:34:57
  SPEAKER_02: 2026.
• 1:34:58
  SPEAKER_02: Again, shit.
• 1:35:01
  SPEAKER_01: Hold on.
• 1:35:02
  SPEAKER_01: Why is my phone doing this?
• 1:35:03
  SPEAKER_01: Wait a minute.
• 1:35:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, girl.
• 1:35:06
  SPEAKER_01: Wait.
• 1:35:08
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah.
• 1:35:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, Frank.
• 1:35:10
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead.
• 1:35:10
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's it's so nice to not have to worry about that shit.
• 1:35:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I remember last week I was like, oh, I haven't, I haven't gotten any S and I'm not even on E.
• 1:35:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like, it's just been it's been great.
• 1:35:26
  SPEAKER_02: I don't miss that shit at all.
• 1:35:28
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah.
• 1:35:29
  SPEAKER_02: We are living in some rough times out here, man.
• 1:35:32
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta make a decision.
• 1:35:33
  SPEAKER_02: Am I gonna put gas in the car?
• 1:35:35
  SPEAKER_02: Or it's like either or all every every time.
• 1:35:39
  SPEAKER_02: It's kind of like let's make a deal.
• 1:35:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what are you gonna do?
• 1:35:42
  SPEAKER_02: Are you gonna get gas?
• 1:35:43
  SPEAKER_02: Are you gonna get a sandwich?
• 1:35:44
  SPEAKER_02: Are you gonna go to the grocery store?
• 1:35:46
  SPEAKER_02: Are you gonna get your hair done?
• 1:35:48
  SPEAKER_02: Are you what are you gonna do?
• 1:35:51
  SPEAKER_00: For real.
• 1:35:53
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man.
• 1:35:55
  SPEAKER_00: For real.
• 1:35:57
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I don't want to hear y'all say shit the millennials.
• 1:36:01
  SPEAKER_01: We did everything right.
• 1:36:02
  SPEAKER_01: We get punished for a bunch of you old hoes and y'all's selfishness.
• 1:36:06
  SPEAKER_01: So excuse us if all of us are got mental health issues because we just trying to cope.
• 1:36:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 1:36:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 1:36:13
  SPEAKER_01: We are just trying to cope out here.
• 1:36:20
  SPEAKER_01: I want to talk about Miss Ashley Janae.
• 1:36:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um I have a screenshot here.
• 1:36:35
  SPEAKER_01: So lifestyle influencer Ashley Janae was 31 years old.
• 1:36:39
  SPEAKER_01: She was found dead on a birthday trip in Zanzibar, Tanzania.
• 1:36:42
  SPEAKER_01: Janae, whose real name is Ashley Robinson, had just gotten engaged during a vacation.
• 1:36:48
  SPEAKER_01: Her family has called her death suspicious, and the Tanzanian authorities might, the Tanzanian authorities have an active investigation on the way.
• 1:36:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um so allegedly, you know, they're saying that her white fiance who had just asked her to marry him and made a bit the Bakubana on the trip strangle her and killed her.
• 1:37:13
  SPEAKER_01: So this is the downside of just dating, period.
• 1:37:20
  SPEAKER_01: You just never know who you're gonna get.
• 1:37:22
  SPEAKER_01: And the nuance of this is a lot of the times I and this is the stuff we need to talk about that we don't talk about out loud.
• 1:37:30
  SPEAKER_01: As a black woman, you go and you're appreciated.
• 1:37:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, most of the men who I've experienced have outwardly showed me affection, have always been non-black men, white men, right?
• 1:37:42
  SPEAKER_01: Never been really interested in them, but it's like a lot of black men don't like the way I look.
• 1:37:48
  SPEAKER_01: So you you just have to deal with the cards that you're dealt with.
• 1:37:50
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like that's the fear in dating, having the interracial date, because you'll know what you're gonna get.
• 1:37:56
  SPEAKER_01: But then again, it's just like a lot of black men are laughing.
• 1:37:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, oh, that's why you did.
• 1:38:01
  SPEAKER_01: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
• 1:38:04
  SPEAKER_01: But let's not forget, you know, I I'm gonna read the statistic.
• 1:38:08
  SPEAKER_01: Let's not forget, where is it?
• 1:38:12
  SPEAKER_01: Where is it?
• 1:38:16
  SPEAKER_01: Black men kill black women in this country in America four times the amount.
• 1:38:23
  SPEAKER_01: Four times the amount of any other race any other race kills their women.
• 1:38:28
  SPEAKER_01: So let's not laugh too fucking loud and celebrate this black woman dying.
• 1:38:32
  SPEAKER_02: So once again, it goes back to my point.
• 1:38:37
  SPEAKER_02: Who is going to protect us?
• 1:38:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:38:42
  SPEAKER_01: I pray that they solve this crime.
• 1:38:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, I have I hope the Tanzanian authorities call him to justice for his actions.
• 1:38:52
  SPEAKER_01: I hope he actually um gets punished for his actions.
• 1:38:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh rest in peace to her.
• 1:38:57
  SPEAKER_01: I know no one ever thinks of going on vacation and coming and not coming back, especially after being proposed to and having such a romantic getaway.
• 1:39:06
  SPEAKER_01: So you never know what people go through behind the scenes.
• 1:39:08
  SPEAKER_01: But as a black woman, I just want to tell you when you are dating, you need to vet everybody.
• 1:39:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 1:39:13
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like as a black woman dating it's a double-edged sword.
• 1:39:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you look at black men, is this nigga got his, does this nigga got his shit together?
• 1:39:20
  SPEAKER_01: Do he really like black women?
• 1:39:22
  SPEAKER_01: Does he like dark-skinned women?
• 1:39:23
  SPEAKER_01: Is he gonna work?
• 1:39:24
  SPEAKER_01: Is he gonna pull his weight?
• 1:39:25
  SPEAKER_01: But then when you're dealing with men of other races, is this because we know what the numbers in the statistics say.
• 1:39:30
  SPEAKER_01: Is this nigga a Trump supporter?
• 1:39:32
  SPEAKER_01: Is he gonna call me a nigga when he's mad at me?
• 1:39:36
  SPEAKER_01: Is this are his family and friends racist as fuck?
• 1:39:39
  SPEAKER_01: Is this even worse?
• 1:39:40
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just like we have to vet everybody.
• 1:39:44
  SPEAKER_01: So just please be careful and really know who you're dating.
• 1:39:48
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, like, I don't I don't even want to go vacation with the man unless we've been together for at least a year.
• 1:39:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's just, it's not safe out here.
• 1:39:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because then you think about alpine divorces.
• 1:40:00
  SPEAKER_01: You'll get niggas that will lead you to your death that will take hike.
• 1:40:03
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever heard of an alpine divorce?
• 1:40:04
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-mm.
• 1:40:05
  SPEAKER_01: Men will take you on a hike or take you on the nature trail to get you lost at least.
• 1:40:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 1:40:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:40:11
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't, I never knew the like word, like what it was called.
• 1:40:15
  SPEAKER_01: Called an alpine divorce.
• 1:40:16
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 1:40:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know how dangerous that is?
• 1:40:19
  SPEAKER_01: So you have to really know who you're laying with and opening your legs to it.
• 1:40:23
  SPEAKER_01: And miss my yeah, my mea, my man.
• 1:40:26
  SPEAKER_01: Keep one eye on them.
• 1:40:28
  SPEAKER_01: Keep one eye on them.
• 1:40:30
  SPEAKER_01: But rest in peace to Ashley Janae, and I hope, again, I just hope that her soul gets the rest of peace and that they solve this part.
• 1:40:41
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, sis, you got the last story.
• 1:40:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:40:44
  SPEAKER_01: Black women working hard, making less.
• 1:40:46
  SPEAKER_01: What you got?
• 1:40:46
  SPEAKER_01: What you got?
• 1:40:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:40:48
  SPEAKER_02: This comes from it was an article on the Grio.
• 1:40:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it was posted April 8th.
• 1:40:54
  SPEAKER_02: And basically, um, I'll read it to you.
• 1:40:57
  SPEAKER_02: It says, for generations, stretching back decades, black women in this country have bemoaned, warned, teased, and testified about having to work twice as hard to get half as far as our counterparts.
• 1:41:11
  SPEAKER_02: New economic data is backing up the claims.
• 1:41:14
  SPEAKER_02: So a new report by the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies entitled The Economic State of Black Women in the United States has revealed that despite being the largest demographic of women in the workforce and among the most educated, they continue to earn less, generate less wealth, and face greater long-term financial security.
• 1:41:36
  SPEAKER_02: Black women have made gains in education and maintain high levels of labor force participation, yet substantial disparities in income, wealth, and retirement security remain.
• 1:41:47
  SPEAKER_02: Authors write in the report.
• 1:41:49
  SPEAKER_02: These patterns suggest that progress in human capital and workforce engagement has not translated into equal economic outcomes across racial and gender lines.
• 1:42:21
  SPEAKER_02: Black women working full-time earned a median of$942 per week compared with$1,108 for white women and$1,395 for Asian women.
• 1:42:35
  SPEAKER_02: The disparities go beyond paychecks.
• 1:42:38
  SPEAKER_02: Black women headed households with children reported a median income of just$41,890, the lowest among major racial groups, and fewer than half report having retirement savings.
• 1:42:51
  SPEAKER_02: Among women ages 55 to 59, black women average about 129,000 in retirement savings compared to 328,000 for white women.
• 1:43:01
  SPEAKER_02: While black women over 65 are twice as likely to live in poverty as white counterparts.
• 1:43:41
  SPEAKER_02: And just now, um, you know, as an assistant principal, just now signing my you know offer letter for next year, busting down 80K.
• 1:43:57
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just like, god damn, you know, and then finding out in my network, my school network, or even just in the Nashville community, there are um white women, there are white men, there are black men who hold my same position as assistant principal, some with less education than me, less years of experience making, you know, that 90K or closer to 100K.
• 1:44:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I just don't like, what is it?
• 1:44:39
  SPEAKER_02: I just don't understand.
• 1:44:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, the article goes on to say, of course, you know, uh the fight continues for equitable um pay in the workplace and you know, pushing these different, you know, laws and just all these different things.
• 1:44:58
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm just like, you know, when does this fight when do we have why do we have to keep fighting?
• 1:45:08
  SPEAKER_02: When does this end?
• 1:45:09
  SPEAKER_02: I just I don't understand it.
• 1:45:11
  SPEAKER_02: I just don't get it.
• 1:45:12
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what it's gonna take.
• 1:45:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I feel like that picture, the picture in the article of the young woman, you know, sitting there, it's it's really a video um of a young woman.
• 1:45:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it says Jamila Lemieux on her book Black Single Mother.
• 1:45:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, she's sitting there, it's a video, but the picture that comes up when you first click on the article, she's sitting there like hands over her eyes, you know, just like destroyed.
• 1:45:43
  SPEAKER_02: And that's just like how so many of us feel.
• 1:45:46
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like black women out here in the workforce who busted our ass, done everything that we were supposed to do, and then, you know, someone else comes up behind us, you know, and they get pushed to the top very easily and make it more than us.
• 1:46:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I just don't I just don't know what it's gonna take.
• 1:46:05
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what it's gonna take.
• 1:46:06
  SPEAKER_02: But it's very, very frustrating, it's disheartening.
• 1:46:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um and it's a constant, like, what more do I have to do?
• 1:46:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what more do I have to do?
• 1:46:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm already trying so hard.
• 1:46:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm already putting in so much work.
• 1:46:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um and then you're you're left to to think, you know what, like what the fuck is the point?
• 1:46:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I know many a days I have felt like you know what, I'm not, I'm not gonna do 150% today.
• 1:46:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna give just what I can and call it a day because clearly my effort is not being um appreciated.
• 1:46:54
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, I'm not I'm not giving it my all.
• 1:46:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's how I feel.
• 1:47:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm doing what a white woman doing.
• 1:47:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm tired, like and working too hard as a black woman is a curse because they ain't gonna never overwork you and expect you to do more for the same amount of money.
• 1:47:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 1:47:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:47:18
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm I'm very much like I'm gonna show up.
• 1:47:24
  SPEAKER_02: And if it's not a hundred and fifty percent, and all you get today is 75 or 80, but hey, I'm not, you know, stressed out or wanting to cry my eyes out, or you know, just collapsing when I get home, then hey, that's good enough for me.
• 1:47:46
  SPEAKER_02: So I have to give you 80% this week, that's what it's gonna be.
• 1:47:53
  SPEAKER_01: But even our 80% is still our 80% is a lot of people's 100%.
• 1:48:01
  SPEAKER_01: Our 50% is still some people's 100%.
• 1:48:04
  SPEAKER_01: That is very true.
• 1:48:05
  SPEAKER_01: Even when we try to do less, it's still too much.
• 1:48:10
  SPEAKER_01: Very true.
• 1:48:10
  SPEAKER_01: That is true.
• 1:48:12
  SPEAKER_01: Story of my life.
• 1:48:14
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why it's just like I encourage black women, take your PTO, fuck that job.
• 1:48:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 1:48:22
  SPEAKER_01: If you die tomorrow, they will post your job up before they post your obituary.
• 1:48:27
  SPEAKER_01: Sure will.
• 1:48:28
  SPEAKER_01: Take the sick days, use your floating holidays, stack them motherfucking days.
• 1:48:33
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, Memorial Day is coming up.
• 1:48:35
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna have off the 25th, which is that Monday.
• 1:48:37
  SPEAKER_01: Stack them fucking days.
• 1:48:39
  SPEAKER_01: If you have, if you work Monday through Friday, hey, Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
• 1:48:43
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I got about 20 days of PTO.
• 1:48:46
  SPEAKER_01: Use two days, boom, you got five days off in a row.
• 1:48:49
  SPEAKER_01: Pay.
• 1:48:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, that's right.
• 1:48:51
  SPEAKER_01: Get you them four-day weekends.
• 1:48:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, get you them four days.
• 1:48:54
  SPEAKER_01: No, like I told T me and TJ had to talk about this on black paradigm.
• 1:48:58
  SPEAKER_01: Know your handbooks, know your job description.
• 1:49:03
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's above my pay grade.
• 1:49:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes.
• 1:49:05
  SPEAKER_01: That is a oh, yes.
• 1:49:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm quick.
• 1:49:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's above my pay grade.
• 1:49:12
  SPEAKER_01: Or that's not in my job description.
• 1:49:14
  SPEAKER_01: This is my job.
• 1:49:15
  SPEAKER_01: Know your job.
• 1:49:17
  SPEAKER_01: Know your handbooks, know your company policy, know your you can't fire me for actually doing my job.
• 1:49:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna tell you too, people got a funny ass way of doing that too, because they love to say, like, oh, you know, take on this extra um, this project, you know, special project to, you know, it'll look good for you wanting to be promoted.
• 1:49:43
  SPEAKER_02: Let me tell you something.
• 1:49:45
  SPEAKER_02: Them same motherfuckers that sit in your face talking about some extra project and you it'll look good for you when you get promoted.
• 1:49:52
  SPEAKER_02: Take credit for it.
• 1:49:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:49:53
  SPEAKER_02: Or will it be the same ones when it's time though for you to get that promotion, they will not fucking sign off on that shit.
• 1:50:00
  SPEAKER_02: They will be the same.
• 1:50:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:50:04
  SPEAKER_02: I've been through that twice.
• 1:50:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:50:07
  unknown: Mm-mm.
• 1:50:07
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I'm quick to be like, nope, I don't, mm-mm.
• 1:50:11
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 1:50:12
  SPEAKER_01: So bad as this.
• 1:50:13
  SPEAKER_01: I had that happen to me.
• 1:50:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't know I was training the girl who took my job.
• 1:50:19
  SPEAKER_01: But because I was so good at what I fucking did, Ashley, can you help her?
• 1:50:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my God, you're looking good for promotion just from the giving to this bitch.
• 1:50:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 1:50:31
  SPEAKER_01: I quit.
• 1:50:33
  SPEAKER_01: And back then, you could quit a job and getting like back then, you could quit.
• 1:50:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like this was in 2019.
• 1:50:40
  SPEAKER_01: I quit my job.
• 1:50:42
  SPEAKER_01: I quit my job.
• 1:50:43
  SPEAKER_01: I probably was off for like a month.
• 1:50:44
  SPEAKER_01: I was able to get another one.
• 1:50:45
  SPEAKER_01: I was getting interviewed left or right.
• 1:50:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's when people were actually interviewing, not posting ghost positions.
• 1:50:49
  SPEAKER_01: But no, fuck them folks.
• 1:50:50
  SPEAKER_01: Do what you're gonna do.
• 1:50:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because white people, when you work more than you do, which is very easy to do, when you work more work more than they do, they get mad at you for it.
• 1:50:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, yep.
• 1:51:00
  SPEAKER_01: And again, they get mad at you for doing a good job.
• 1:51:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I will say, listen, this is just my personal experience.
• 1:51:08
  SPEAKER_01: Me personally, I've had a lot more success for working for a white man than I ever have a white woman in the office.
• 1:51:16
  SPEAKER_01: Use the fact that you're a woman to your advantage.
• 1:51:19
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of them like black women are like fucking them in the dark anyway.
• 1:51:22
  SPEAKER_01: So use that to your advantage.
• 1:51:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:51:25
  SPEAKER_01: But fuck them.
• 1:51:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm quick.
• 1:51:27
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck that job.
• 1:51:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm quick to be like, no, I don't think I'm gonna be able to do that.
• 1:51:32
  SPEAKER_02: Or no, I don't, mm-mm.
• 1:51:34
  SPEAKER_01: My calendar's full.
• 1:51:36
  SPEAKER_01: My calendar's full.
• 1:51:37
  SPEAKER_01: Or my personal favorite, I don't have the mental capacity to handle an extra roll, extra, extra duty right now.
• 1:51:43
  SPEAKER_02: Bam.
• 1:51:48
  SPEAKER_01: Anything else?
• 1:51:51
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:51:51
  SPEAKER_01: Have okay, thank you.
• 1:51:54
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 1:51:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yup.
• 1:51:56
  SPEAKER_01: Piss me off.
• 1:51:58
  SPEAKER_02: Unless, unless, you know, when people start to throw things out there about promotions and um points and all of this shit, unless that shit is in writing, don't take that shit for, you know, for face value or he said she said.
• 1:52:17
  SPEAKER_02: No, unless that shit is in writing that says, hey, Diamond is given this special project so that X, Y, Z can take place next year and they fucking sign that shit and you sign it, then no, absolutely the fuck not.
• 1:52:32
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 1:52:33
  SPEAKER_02: That's fucking broken ass promises that's never gonna come true.
• 1:52:39
  SPEAKER_01: I agree with your sister.
• 1:52:43
  SPEAKER_01: Well, y'all, I think we had a great episode back into Sister's Instinct.
• 1:52:48
  SPEAKER_01: We did.
• 1:52:50
  SPEAKER_01: Episode 24.
• 1:52:52
  SPEAKER_01: You have anything else to add, boo?
• 1:52:54
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, 24.
• 1:52:55
  SPEAKER_01: That was a good year.
• 1:52:57
  SPEAKER_02: That was a long time ago, but it was a good year for me.
• 1:53:01
  SPEAKER_01: 24?
• 1:53:02
  SPEAKER_02: No, being 24.
• 1:53:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 1:53:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, 24 was fine.
• 1:53:07
  SPEAKER_01: I ain't gonna lie.
• 1:53:07
  SPEAKER_01: I remember when I turned 24.
• 1:53:09
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh.
• 1:53:10
  SPEAKER_01: It was popping.
• 1:53:12
  SPEAKER_01: I was unclear.
• 1:53:14
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, that's all I got, sis.
• 1:53:17
  SPEAKER_01: That's all I got, y'all.
• 1:53:20
  SPEAKER_01: And we look forward to seeing y'all next week back in the same place.
• 1:53:25
  SPEAKER_01: We love y'all, and I hope that you guys have a wonderful, wonderful work week.
• 1:53:30
  SPEAKER_01: Know your job, know who you report to, and do only what the fuck you're gonna do.
• 1:53:36
  SPEAKER_01: That part.
• 1:53:38
  SPEAKER_01: And on that note, bye y'all.
• 1:53:41
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.