Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Trust Yourself Thursday: The Unstoppable You 4/7

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Trust Yourself Thursday: The Unstoppable You 4/7 · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Welcome back.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Trust Yourself Thursday, here on the sweet spot where science meets the soul.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I'm Dr Derek Sweet.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I'm your host.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: For those of you who don't know me, I'm a board certified psychiatrist.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I specialize in high performance and sports psychiatry.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: So today, on Trust Yourself Thursday, we're tackling self-trust, the belief in your own decisions, your own instincts and your own abilities.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: And guess what?
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: This isn't just about feeling good.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: This is not a touchy-feely thing.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Self-trust is hardwired in our brains.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: There's neuroscience to prove that self-trust is wired into our consciousness.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: But here's the problem Many of us don't trust ourselves enough.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Because of how our wiring is in our brain and how those connections are being made.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Let's break it down the neuroscience of self-trust the brain's decision-making triangle is always at work.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: You have a triangle in your brain that helps you with your trust.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Your ability to trust yourself isn't just emotional, my friend, it's biological.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: There are three brain regions, what I call the self-trust triangle the prefrontal cortex, the striatum and the amygdala.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Now, if you've been listening to the Sweet Spot, you are already a boss on the PFC, which is the prefrontal cortex, which is the brain's CEO.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: And then that fear monger over there, the amygdala.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Right, we've talked about that amygdala before Now.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: I'm not hating on the amygdala.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: We need the amygdala to keep us out of danger, but sometimes it gets a little overactive.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: But there's a third structure that I may not have mentioned before, called the striatum.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: So when these three are working in unison, you will have great trust.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Let's break it down.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: The prefrontal cortex, your brain's CEO.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: As you already know, this is the part of your brain that helps with rational thinking, with planning and with decision making.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: When you're confident, when you're on your game, when you're doing things right, it is your PFC, your prefrontal cortex is running the show.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: But when you're afraid, your fear detector, the amygdala, the limbic system.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: This is the self-doubt factor, this is the fear of failure, the anxiety center, and sometimes it gets too loud.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: It overrides that PFC, it overrides the CEO, and then it overrides another structure in your brain called the striatum, your action center.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: This part of the brain is tied into habit formation and motivation, the striatum right.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: So when it's active, you're taking action, you're following through and you're doing things.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: When it's weak, you hesitate.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: So you need your PFC, your striatum and your amygdala to be aligned.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: You need your PFC and your striatum to be kicking butt and you need the amygdala to be aligned.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: You need your PFC and your striatum to be kicking butt and you need the amygdala to calm down.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: What happens to most of us is that amygdala overrides the other two right.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: So that's the catch.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: If the amygdala, the fear center, is in control, then self-trust disappears.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: So the key to trusting yourself is to strengthen this PFC, strengthen your prefrontal cortex and your striatum while quieting the amygdala.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: And this is all brain work and we can do it.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: It's easy.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: How do we do it?
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Let's get right into it.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Let me explain it this way.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Why do we struggle to trust ourselves?
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: The first one.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: There's three reasons.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Self-doubt is a big reason.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: We doubt ourselves because the amygdala is constantly scanning everything for failure and for rejection and for embarrassment, and this is what the neuroscientists call the negativity bias.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Your brain is always going to try to assume the worst.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: So what do you have to do is you have to train your PFC, your prefrontal cortex, to override doubt, and you do this by reminding yourself of your past wins.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: You keep a victory log where you write down every time you've made a good decision, because evidence beats doubt.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you see these athletes or boxers say I've kicked your butt before and I'm going to kick it again.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Okay, sometimes you have to remind yourself of your wins, because that's you talking to your prefrontal cortex if you feel fear, because, as it says in Proverbs, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: That's proverbs 23, 7, ancient wisdom coming back to help us.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: So you've got to watch what you're putting in that prefrontal cortex.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: The second reason that people end up having this issue with trust is fear of failure.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: What if I mess up?
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Your striatum?
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: The action center thrives on momentum, but when your fear circuits or the amygdala is too strong, it shuts down the striatum and you take no action and you freeze, and now you're not doing anything.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: You're just sitting there, you're standing there, you look like a deer in the headlights.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: It's that the striatum is all spazzed.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, and so the solution for that, my friend, is to remember that small wins also will rewire your brain.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: You take one tiny step in the right direction Instead of trying to figure out big, scary, big move.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Do a tiny move, one step.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Remember we talked about that.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: To climb that big staircase, what do you have to do?
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: One step at a time, because every small win strengthens your striatum.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: It tells your striatum we're going to do this and we're going to walk out.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: There you square your shoulders, you look cool and relaxed as a cucumber and you walk out onto the stage.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: That's step one.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: You take a breath, that's step two.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Right, that's how you get this triad feeling like all right, there's momentum here and success builds on success, one thing at a time.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: All right, so that what do we say now?
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: There were two reasons we gave already as to why people don't trust themselves.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: The one was self-doubt, the amygdala, or running things.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: The second thing was fear of failure all right, and how that can shut down the striatum and you don't do any actions.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: And the third one now is seeking too much validation, always asking somebody else what do you think?
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: What do you think I should do?
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Was that good?
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Was that good enough?
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: All that, all that your brain loves external validation and approval, because it triggers guess what A neurotransmitter that you and I have been speaking about for the past.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Two months, dopamine, yes, the more external validation you get and I get, the more dopamine we secrete and it feels good.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: But if you rely on too much outside validation, your own voice doesn't give you the dopamine rush anymore, and that's not cool.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: You should be able to look in the mirror and tell yourself how good you are and that dopamine should flow, and not wait for Joe or Harry or Mary or somebody else to tell you Right.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: So be careful with that.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: The solution is to practice micro decisions without asking people for feedback, even something as simple as choosing what you're going to eat.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Do it yourself.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Choose your own outfit, choose your own meal Don't ask what people think and start reinforcing in your brain that you're good enough and let that dopamine flow for you and get a self-circuit and a self-trust circuit going for you.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Alright, alright.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Now remember, self-trust isn't something you're born with, it's something you can train.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: I just gave you reasons.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: I just gave you some real cues, and if you and if you don't know, I'm gonna just repeat this for you you have a doubt, here's what you do you challenge them.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: You challenge your doubts.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I can do this.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: You tell yourself You're well able to do this.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, I don't care if there are giants in the land, we're well able to beat them.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: You challenge your doubts.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: You have fear.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: You shrink those fears, right.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: The what if monster is just a what if monster.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: It's not real.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: And remember that fear is what?
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: False evidence appearing real.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, shrink the fear.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: And then this validation thing, give validation to yourself.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Stop asking others to validate you, because this is what.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Trust yourself Thursday, my friend, and the most powerful trust you can have is in your God and yourself.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: All right, now, go make that decision, consult your God and consult yourself and go do it.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: All right, man, this is it, you've done it, we've gotten through.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Trust Yourself Thursday.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: We've had some fun here today.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I look forward to seeing you for Finish Strong Friday, and we are going to finish strong.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: If you want to get Friday and we are going to finish strong, all right.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: If you want to get more, catch me.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Catch me on YouTube, catch me on LinkedIn, catch me on Instagram.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: I'm even on threads, take care.