Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Library Spectrometer
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: One eight hundred d UI away now offering free remote
- 0:02Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
- 0:06Speaker 1: Trust Brook, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
- 0:09Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred ui
- 0:12Speaker 1: away dot com or call eight hundred Do you y away?
- 0:16Speaker 2: Did you know that there are some people out there
- 0:18Speaker 2: who still use the library?
- 0:21Speaker 3: Yes?
- 0:21Speaker 1: I do?
- 0:23Speaker 2: Are so over eight years old?
- 0:26Speaker 3: Oh my god? Libraries are great and air conditioned. Yah.
- 0:33Speaker 2: Well we know this because a guy set up his
- 0:35Speaker 2: brother who recently went to the library to check out
- 0:38Speaker 2: movies and comic books. Again, he's over eight years old.
- 0:42Speaker 2: He was an adult, and of course Brook makes the
- 0:45Speaker 2: perfect librarian. She's going to go in on him in
- 0:49Speaker 2: your phone. Tap right now, another on the twenty.
- 0:55Speaker 3: Hello, h right, I'm calling from the public library. I'm
- 0:59Speaker 3: the librarian here. My name is Fiona, Fiona friend Gloom.
- 1:04Speaker 4: Hi.
- 1:04Speaker 3: Can you hear me? Am I speaking to Philip?
- 1:07Speaker 4: Uh? Yeah, what is this regarding Are.
- 1:10Speaker 3: You in the bathroom right now?
- 1:11Speaker 4: It sounds echoing, Uh nope, I'm in my office.
- 1:15Speaker 3: Oh funny, Okay, Well Philip, you came in here yesterday
- 1:18Speaker 3: and rented a DVD.
- 1:21Speaker 4: I did. That's correct.
- 1:22Speaker 3: Oh, look at that, it looks like it was con Air.
- 1:26Speaker 3: I love that movie. Sorry, Nicholas Cage, great pick. Yeah,
- 1:30Speaker 3: I love those old airplane hijack prison things. Huh.
- 1:35Speaker 4: Is there a reason why you're calling? Or I'm sorry? Like,
- 1:38Speaker 4: what's what's going on?
- 1:39Speaker 3: Sorry, I'm getting sidetracked. Yeah, to the point, listen, while
- 1:43Speaker 3: you were here, we noticed that you look through a
- 1:45Speaker 3: few of our comic books in the teen section. Yes,
- 1:48Speaker 3: you weren't there to meet teens, were you.
- 1:52Speaker 4: I'm sorry? What what do you mean by there to
- 1:54Speaker 4: meet teens?
- 1:56Speaker 3: You paused a little long there. It's kind of a
- 1:58Speaker 3: yes or no question.
- 2:01Speaker 4: No is the answer. I mean, I don't I don't
- 2:04Speaker 4: understand why you're implying by asking questions.
- 2:06Speaker 3: Just protocol I have to ask. Kind of weird when
- 2:09Speaker 3: adult males there.
- 2:10Speaker 4: But anyway, what I like comic books. That's a that's
- 2:13Speaker 4: a normal thing for somebody to read.
- 2:16Speaker 3: Totally totally normal. So I do need to inform you that,
- 2:19Speaker 3: as of today, you are no longer welcome in the facility.
- 2:23Speaker 4: I'm sorry, what I'm no longer welcome because the comic
- 2:26Speaker 4: books are in the teen section no.
- 2:28Speaker 3: No, I believe you on that despite that long pause. Yeah, no,
- 2:32Speaker 3: this does in regards to our fecal spectrometer.
- 2:35Speaker 4: Readings, your fecal spectrometer readings. I have no idea what
- 2:40Speaker 4: that means.
- 2:41Speaker 3: Oh, I'm surprised all libraries have them. Yeah, it's a
- 2:44Speaker 3: device I can tell if you've used any of our
- 2:46Speaker 3: reading material wall in a bathroom, if you didn't wash
- 2:50Speaker 3: your hands and it transferred to the pages.
- 2:52Speaker 4: I'm happy to say that I have good hygiene like
- 2:54Speaker 4: I didn't. I don't know.
- 2:56Speaker 3: That's funny because I'm going to let you know one
- 2:59Speaker 3: of our comic books that you were reading came back
- 3:02Speaker 3: with severely high levels of I'll say bathroom matter.
- 3:06Speaker 4: Right, But firstly, since when do you all do stupid
- 3:10Speaker 4: poop tests on your magazine?
- 3:11Speaker 3: Okay, now they're stupid. Here's the thing. We've never had
- 3:15Speaker 3: this high of level before. So we even had to
- 3:18Speaker 3: shut the library down this morning for a deep cleaning.
- 3:21Speaker 4: That's ridiculous.
- 3:22Speaker 3: And see why this is a big deal.
- 3:24Speaker 4: Just throw away the magazine. And secondly, if it's a
- 3:27Speaker 4: comic book, I guarantee you some kid picked that up.
- 3:31Speaker 4: A little kid. Kid's fault.
- 3:33Speaker 3: So first you try to meet teens, then you blame
- 3:35Speaker 3: it on them.
- 3:37Speaker 4: This line of questioning is inappropriate.
- 3:39Speaker 3: You know what question I do have for you is
- 3:42Speaker 3: I just need to know if you happen to use
- 3:44Speaker 3: one of those pages to.
- 3:45Speaker 4: Wipe that's disgusting.
- 3:47Speaker 3: Did you do that?
- 3:49Speaker 4: No?
- 3:49Speaker 3: I didn't know because the levels were out of this world.
- 3:53Speaker 4: Yeah, you mentioned that already, and it's not mine.
- 3:57Speaker 3: I think I know what's going on. Are you one
- 3:59Speaker 3: of those hand earthers where you believe hands should wash
- 4:02Speaker 3: themselves naturally without soper waters.
- 4:05Speaker 4: That's not even a thing. No, I'm not a hand earther.
- 4:08Speaker 3: We got a book on it. Actually, it's very much
- 4:10Speaker 3: a thing.
- 4:11Speaker 4: Huh. Okay, well it's not my thing. Okay, I didn't
- 4:14Speaker 4: wipe crap on the magazine. There's no way you can
- 4:16Speaker 4: officially tell it was me.
- 4:18Speaker 3: I'm thinking about it more and it's making me sick
- 4:20Speaker 3: thinking of what you're reading of your phone. This is
- 4:23Speaker 3: making my spectrometer was near your phone, I bet it'd
- 4:26Speaker 3: be like.
- 4:27Speaker 2: WHOA, what.
- 4:30Speaker 3: Mine's going off right now? Did you touch the library
- 4:33Speaker 3: phone and pollemy?
- 4:34Speaker 4: No? If that's the sound, if that's the sound of
- 4:38Speaker 4: your stupid spectrometer you're the one who caused a problem. Okay,
- 4:42Speaker 4: not me, you know, actually that's not me. You'm not
- 4:46Speaker 4: just hear it going off like that.
- 4:47Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not possible at all because I don't even
- 4:49Speaker 3: work at the library.
- 4:51Speaker 4: Then who are you?
- 4:54Speaker 3: This is actually brug from the radio show Brooke and
- 4:57Speaker 3: Jeffrey in the Morning. We're doing a phone tap on you.
- 5:00Speaker 4: Oh my god, your.
- 5:05Speaker 3: Brother Brian set you up for a prank phone call.
- 5:08Speaker 4: Oh.
- 5:09Speaker 3: He said, he's always making fun of you for your
- 5:11Speaker 3: comic book obsession.
- 5:13Speaker 4: When you said that I had put DC's on a magazine,
- 5:17Speaker 4: I was like, that is not possible, and then asking
- 5:20Speaker 4: me why I was in the teen section. I was like,
- 5:23Speaker 4: oh my god, my heart was my god.
- 5:26Speaker 3: Oh, I mean it does look a little weird, right.
- 5:30Speaker 4: I like comic books, okay, like at the library. Places
- 5:33Speaker 4: are there.
- 5:34Speaker 3: I have to go there, but you don't have to
- 5:36Speaker 3: take them into the bathroom.
- 5:37Speaker 4: And I don't sure totally what.
- 5:40Speaker 3: Our readings said.
- 5:44Speaker 4: Oh, wake Up every morning.
- 5:48Speaker 1: Was full tap weekday mornings on
- 5:50Speaker 3: The twenties, Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning