Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 124. LIVE Coaching: Unpacking Our Deepest Wounds With Transformation Coach Lewis Huckstep (Yes, On Air😳)

Transcript

124. LIVE Coaching: Unpacking Our Deepest Wounds With Transformation Coach Lewis Huckstep (Yes, On Air😳) · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apodjay Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashi
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment and
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: version of yourself. We'd help you. Shehad the shame grow
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: to a new level.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: else is too afraid to talk about.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Get ready for your next level of self. Welcome back
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: to another episode of She Rises. We've got Ashi here,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: We've got Tiana and also a very special guest, Lewis Huckstep.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: If you haven't listened, we had an episode back with
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Lewis a couple of weeks ago and a couple months
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: ago actually, and it was an incredible session. If you
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: haven't listened to it, you will learn so much. But
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: we have a very vulnerable episode coming for you today.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Thanks you so much for coming.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Like last time, we kind of you asked us a
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: couple of questions and we were like, oh, but we
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: left it being like, oh my god, we need more
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: of that. We want to explore more of that, so
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: we thought would bring him on. It's almost like a
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: live coaching session. You guys are gonna you ask being
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: super vulnerable and we have no idea how this process works.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: So this is what you take your clients through.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, and this is like my signature process. I've
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: got all my balancing process and we're going to do
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: a mini version of it today just for time. I'll
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: use about four or five different techniques along the way.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: My intention is to just guide you guys through a
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: really beautiful rebalancing of your mind and closing off in
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: emotional loops. They're like the two big components. Trauma for
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: me is a moment of overwhelm. My underwhelm where you
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: split and fragment your awareness. So we're going to re
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: unfragment that and bring that back into balance. And there's
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: probably going to be emotions as well. That's why I've
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: got tissues on stand. But yeah, the goal is wherever
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: you have mental or emotional resistance underneath there there's something
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: to work on.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: If you could tell anyone who's listening, what is it
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: that you do and what is it that you specialize in.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: I help people find their lives purpose, do the inner work.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: So trauma, which is the center of what we're doing today,
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: limiting believes emotional blocks and create a life that's meaningful
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: and fulfilling to them, so it's known your purpose, your
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: value is what's your vision for your life, giving them
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: the skills and structure to actually practically create it, but
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: then address the mental and emotional block so it would
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: stop you from getting there, which is and what we're
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: doing today. Success is eighty percent psychology, twenty percent skills.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: Skills are easier, you, guys are in the fitness world.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: A lot of people know how to be healthy, but
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: they don't do it because there's something going on in here.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Something's blocking them and preventing them from doing that makes
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: sense that you know, honestly, if you haven't listened to
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: that last episode, go back, change your life.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Any final words, ladies.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Oh wesh, just look, I know I've literally had like
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: an hour sleep last night.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Something I like, I'm to be extra emotional animal my heario.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: But I'm ready. I'm always ready for this work. I'm
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: excited for it. Quickly before we get stuck into it, guys,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: if you want to do this process with us, sit down,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: grab a piece of paper or notepad and a pen,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: and as Lewis is asking us these questions, listen and
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: do the questions yourself as well, So take yourself through
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: the process. If you get a little bit confused, don't stress.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: But he explains it and will explain it really, really simply,
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: and come along on the journey with us, and definitely
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: do it because his coaching is not cheap.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: So for us all to be able to experience a
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: taste of what he does, it's incredible, like life changing.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: If you can heal one part of what we're about
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: to do. Wow, if you're ready, let's go deep.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: So let's do it.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: Closing down your eyes with me, place one hand on
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: your heart and taking a big, deep breath into your heart,
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: just connecting to yourself your heart, feeling the love of
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: your heart with every breath, and just trusting that your
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: heart knows the answers today, removing any judgment. There'll be
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: some personal questions asked, and just allow the answers to
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: flow through you without any resistance or judgment, and just
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: let the human get out of the way for today,
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: taking a massive breath in without judgment. Which parent do
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: you dislike the most? Father, mother, beautiful? Write down that
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: person's name on your paper.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know him, no, So that's a good matter.
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  Speaker 3: So whatever comes up, So you can't have judgment without content,
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: so there'll be something in your mind that you have
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: resistance towards him.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: For do I go my father? I don't know my
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: stepfather that I do.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: You can do either this process we're doing today. You
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: can do it on anyone and anything. Parents are easier
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: to start with because you generally know them all, So
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: I'll probably go the one that you know the most.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I'm also sorry in advanced mom.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: Doesn't mean you don't love these people. I love my
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: mom and dad. I've done many processes on my mom
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: and dad, my daddy issues and mummy issues. But there's
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: trauma's on a mode of overwhelm or underwhelm. And as
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: especially as kids, what's the chances your parents give you
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: exactly what you want every single time?
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Zero, So you're going to have micro wounds or bigger
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: wounds with parents, So you can always get some juice
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: out of parents and partners as well. Yeah, that's why
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: most processes I do with clients is parents, partners, or yourself.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: We can do it on yourself and not doing that today.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: Trauma is a moment of overwhelm or underwhelm. And when
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: it comes to human relationship trauma, it's going to be
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: a part of them. Something they did or didn't do
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: that you didn't like, that was overwhelming or underwhelming for you.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: No judgment of your answer in a one word answer,
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: what's the one thing you dislike most about this person?
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: And trust your heart? Not yet? Can we say it
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: out loud if you feel safe enough to.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: You emotionally unavailable?
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: Yep, what's yours?
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: I can't think of a word for it, But just
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: like feeling like I didn't matter, so close your.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: Eyes, take a big breath in. So going back to
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: a memory, a painful memory for you, Tea a moment
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: of Mum being unavailable and for you Ash a moment
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: where you felt like you didn't matter. And you're going
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: to go to a moment of when, where, and what happened.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: So what we're looking for it is a moment in
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: time where you're going you would have split your awareness
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: where it was painful, bad, wrong, you didn't like it.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: Tell me when something comes up for you, I'll go
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: with you first, Ashes, I'll get your trade as well.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: Tell me what happened? Where were you?
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: I was walking home from work in the rain, and
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: he drove past and waved and he picked me up
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: and the when I got home, I asked him why
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: he didn't any light in front of my mum.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: It made me feel like I was crazy awesome.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: So what's the most painful moment is when he lied?
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: Was that the moment or when he drove past you lying?
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: So you go to that, Yeah, go to that exact
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: moment he lied. So you've already said the word, So
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: the word is lying. So that's the trait we're doing
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: today and a good test for these exercises. Do you
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: get triggered when people lie to you? As shy much so?
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: Triggers revealed the wound, that's the mirror. So when your
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: partner or anyone lies to you, you'd er get trigger.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: It breaks me. So write down where were you when
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: was it what your dad did specifically to lie when
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: he rolled his eyes, the words that he said, the
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: thing in your exact moment when you perceived him lying.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: Write that moment down.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm already having a pivotal moment. Where
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: when what happened probably would have been around eleven or twelve,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: And it was around the time where my eldest sister
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: started to separate from our family. She went with her
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: partner and we didn't end up speaking to her for
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: like twelve years after that. But the initial moment that
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: it happened, my mum was an absolute mess. She was
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: so in her own pain in that that I felt
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: like she couldn't really show up for me. And I
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: remember coming home one day from school and she was
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: just a mass, like crying and had been crying for months.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Go to the moment of her crying, and there'll be
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: specific moments of judgment. So it's a moment just you
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: guys can probably handle this. There's a moment you create
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: a label of them doing the traits. It's a moment
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  Speaker 3: you labeled your dad lying, and there's a moment you
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: labeled your mom being unavailable. So when's that exact second.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: That's what we want to find.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: So when I came home, I feel like I was
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: going through my own stuff and it felt like she
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: was selfish in the moment because she couldn't see that
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I needed her.
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  Speaker 3: Close your eyes, Tell me where were you.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: In her bedroom?
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: When was it? I think I was twelve, and what happened?
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: What did you tell yourself? What did you see her
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: experience that I wasn't important, beautiful? And what did she
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: do for that to happen? Does she not respond to you?
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: It's like she wasn't there, beautiful, wasn't present.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: Go to the moment where you perceive her not being present.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: There'll be a thought. You looked at something, you said something,
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: you thought something, and you labeled your mum not being
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: present or being unavailable.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: I'm not worthy of love, beautiful.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Get to the moment you thought that, beautiful in that
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: exact moment breathing. What was your mum doing or not
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: doing that you didn't.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Like, not paying attention beautiful?
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  Speaker 3: Say the word what's the trait or the behavior that
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: should be ignoring me, beautiful? Right down the word ignoring
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: to cross out unavailable, ignoring. Do you get triggered when
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: people ignore you? Tea, yes, I do.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Yes, I well done.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: And that's a good test to see. Okay, that's it.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: Remember triggers reveal wounds underneath the surface, and it's normally
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: from childhood. How old are you guys, Actually at this moment,
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: you were fifteen. I was about twelve. Awesome. So now
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: right down the opposite of your traits, So you've got
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: ignoring and you've got sorry, I'm lying. So what's the
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: opposite of that trait?
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Attention? Honesty?
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: Beautiful? So this is how you try to be seen
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: from the world.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, attention and pride that literally, pride before the fall.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: I try to pride myself and being honest, and I
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: shame myself when I lie, and I shame myself when
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: I'm unavailable or ignore others. Yeah, good strategy. So that's teaching.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: As we do the process, we're aware of that too.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's beautiful.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: That's like the prep work that we do. So now
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: the first exercise, the full process is twelve steps. We're
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: doing four of them today. First one is you were
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: going to go and find specific moments where you have
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: done this trait to someone. You're going to say, where
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: were you, when was it? Who saw me do it? So,
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: for example, yours was ignoring. When was the moment? Tell
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: me the exact moment right now where you've ignored someone?
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: Where were you, when was it? And who did you ignore?
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: Who saw you do it?
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: I feel like I do it often.
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: Awesome, So write down where when?
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Who?
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: Just give me one outloud and you don't need the
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: full story, just need when where who? As an example,
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: last week in the car, my.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Partner at home, my sister.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: Last week writer, you're going to aim for ten Go
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: to the right side of your book where you are
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: just to write down these words here. I want you
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: to write down spiritually, mentally, vocationally, socially, and physically. As
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: you're finding your moments. You must find at least one
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: in each area of life within those areas. Spiritually is
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: to do with someone's beliefs. So I believe something and
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: you ignored my beliefs, you lied about something that you
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: believed in, or someone gave you the beliefs, and you're like,
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: oh yeah, I agree when you fucking didn't you just
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: like I just can't fight having the argument. So find
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: a moment for each of these. You're going to aim
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: for ten When where, who? And just make sure you
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: get at least one in each of those.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: So what would that look like for me? In terms
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: of ignoring is a belief's part.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: So someone gave you a belief and you just ignored it.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: You need to go worship God and you're like, I
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: ain't fucking doing that. If that's maybe you do that, Okay,
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Someone projected their spiritual beliefs onto you, and you completely
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: ignored it. And it just has to do with people's beliefs.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: So he's Donald Trump a lot because he'll polarize a
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: lot of people. It's like someone said, Donald Trump's the king,
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: or he's the man, or he's evil. It's like, depending
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: on your beliefs, you'll ignore that, like Ahna, fair enough,
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: and the ego deflects and hides these traits. You try
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: to be seen as the opposite trait, the good trade,
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: and you hide unconsciously block out the bad trait. So
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: you'll try to block out parts where you lie because
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: your ego wants to avoid pain. I don't want to
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: be seen as this. I'm going to block this all
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: out right, but just take your breath in, use your heart.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: Where have you done this trait? Who's seen you do
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: this trait? Look through childhood, look through primary school, look
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: through high school. The same person can come up anytime,
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: your partner's and ex partners will come up many times, Georgia,
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: when I do it, my wife, so he comes up
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: all the time, my ex part like Chris, Yeah, person,
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: so right down, where were you when? Was it just
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: in your heart? When have you lied before? You've got kids? I'
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: massurreming you've lied to your kids before? Oh yeah, berth
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: to them?
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: Perfect? So write down when where who will deflect? Oh
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: they're white lives. You're sell fucking line when if you
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: lie to yourself? And some people cry in this process
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: because they're like, holy fuck, I do this. I'm just
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: like my dad. I'm just like my mum. I've had
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: people crying this same step. It's only in the trade
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: when a baby is born. What parts of a baby
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: is worthy of love?
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: All of them?
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: So this part of you is lovable, but you don't
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: love this part of you. And every time you find one,
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: you'll open a bit more of your awareness. You're like,
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: oh fuck, lock that one out.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, almost feel guilty. I feel like guilt or shame
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: coming up.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: Jane Perfect. We shame ourselves for this part because.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I've actually been seeing where I do
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: this more often, But then I haven't been like, oh no,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: it's fine. I jot you that because I always make
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: time and space and I'm always overly considerate of people,
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: but then I ignore it.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: You did you a good lesson because you're like this
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: whenever you hear absolute language, always never, ever, no, one,
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: zero hundred percent, it's bullshit. Yeah you said I always
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: make time. Bullshit when if you're not made time for someone? Yeah,
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: Often whenever I hear absolute language, I know it's.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: Bullshit's so funny. I didn't even hear myself say that.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: But I'm a mirror for you. Keep up, keep looking,
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: take your birth in. If you get stuck, we're going
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: to aim for ten. Find a moment where you lied.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: You would have lied in school. You're a teenager, right, Yeah,
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: would have lied as a teenager, surely a little for sure.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: Snuck out at home, go drink some alcohol, so like
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: with Lloyd and tell mom and dad about it. Sometimes
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: you'll have like the same person and location multiple times.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: So sometimes I put like a little reference next to it,
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: so like Georgia at home in the kitchen. So I
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: might be like birthday or Christmas or something like that,
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: just to give me an effort, because you just need
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: to read those. And you're like, yeah, this is learning
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: to love this part of who you are. So you
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: stop showing yourself for it. Because there'll be times where
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: you want to ignore people tea and you feel like
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: a piece of shit for doing it. So you know
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: your own needs.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: Always not always.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: We can look that language, and there's times actually where
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: you'll be seen as an asshole if you lie, so
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: you don't actually speak your truth, so you bite your tongue.
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: All emotions and all parts of you are loved with me.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: It's all welcomed with me. There's no judgment here. I've
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: had people tell me that abused, people have cheated on,
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: people that've abandoned, people that have assaulted people. Get stuck.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: Just take to be breath into your heart, let your intuition.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: Look where else have you done this trait so physically
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: with your body? Like health wise obviously guys are in
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: the health world, but also can be to do sexually
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: essentially where if you like sexually your partner wanted to
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: have sex and you don't want to, but you did
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: it anyways because you feel like it be a shit.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: You ignored your own needs. Sexually, you wanted to do
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: something or someone said something, you don't want to do it,
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: but you did it anyways, ignored your boundaries. Oh yeah,
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: the goal is just have infinite time to just keep going.
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: Because there's some clarifying questions I'm going to ask you soon,
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: and if you couldn't answer them, I'd tell you to
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: go back and keep answering until you can. But I
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: might have to move on regardless today just to get
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: through it.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: I think sexually and relationally for me is a big one.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: But like there'd be a lot there do I just.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: Do more, get thirty if you can just keep blian.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: Remember your heart has intelligence. You have a heart beat
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: before you have a brain, so your heart hasn't inelligence,
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: and your heart knows the truth, So allow on your
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: heart to answer it. Where have you lied? And who's
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: seen you light?
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Before?
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: You kept a secret, you try to hide it, lie
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: to yourself, partners, friends, family, parents, Then feel your heart
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: and find where you've lied. Have you ever had a
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: triggered fight with your husband and you've said something really
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: nasty though you didn't mean a lie mentally could be
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: Have you ever beaten yourself up and told yourself really
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: negative things? Oh? Yeah, all the time, and any of
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: those lies. I'm not enough, I'm stupid, I'm perfect. Find
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: one of those bats. So just the time, we will
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: move on. But I would get you to keep going
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: until you can answer these following questions. I'm going to
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: give this a shot out just to see where we're at,
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: but in a full process, i'd say come back and
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: keep going. So I want you to just read over
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: your whole list, don't read out loud, just skim over
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: and see where these people have seen you doing this trait.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: And I want you to feel what it feels like
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: for these people to see you doing this trait to them.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: But it's a part of who you are. Feel whatever
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: emotions come up for you as it comes up when
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: you see that person seeing you doing the trade bruthem
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: to it. Feel what it feels like. I feel guilty,
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: That's okay, you normally do on the step one, step four,
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: you'll be sweet. Feel what it feels like for these
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: people see you. You're being seen doing this trait. It's
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: a part of you that they see. Closing down your
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: eyes ash as well, taking a big breath in. Can
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: you see that you do this trait to the same
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: degree as your dad ashing and for you to your mum,
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: you do this trait to the same degree as that
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: person in different forms in different ways. Yes or no?
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, beautiful. Actually I want to say no because I'm
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: not aggressive about it.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: That's okay, that's a different trait. We're doing line folks online.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Even though it's from a different place.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I say different forms. Can you see that you
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: lie to the same degree as your dad in different forms?
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: Or no?
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: In different forms?
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: Yes, beautiful, So you lie to the same degree as
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: your dad in different forms? Yes or no? Can you
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: see that?
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's so different.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: It's different forms. You justify it, and you deflect it
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: and you minimize it.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: Can you see that you lie to the same degree
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: as your dad in different forms?
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: Beautiful. Breathe into that and just recognize that. Now, I
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: want you guys to go back to that exact moment
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: that you picked. So you're at home and your dad
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: lied to you, and you're at home and you recognize
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: your mom's ignoring you. Step into the exact moment. You're
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: going to get super present for this question. Think about
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: where you were, think about when it was, and think
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: about exactly what happened when you called this person this
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: trait aside with your team, in that exact moment when
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: you perceived your mum ignoring you, What did you do
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: instantaneously in that moment the.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: First thing that comes up is like, got angry.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: Beautiful, keep wicking. So the rule is whatever you judge
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: someone for externally, you do it internally. So when you
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: judged her for ignoring you, what did you also do
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: ignored her back? Perfect? Can you see that you did
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: the exact fucking thing?
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because I got angry and then I was like,
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: well fuck you.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: So you did the same thing you judged your mom for.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Breathe in to it. You actually healton. So get into
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: that exact moment when your dad lied and you judged
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: him for lyne. Step into that moment, be super present,
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: and see where you did the same trait in that
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: moment when he lied to you, when you perceived him
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: as lying, What did you do?
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: I cried and angry? Cool?
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: What did you do internally? Mentally, emotionally? What did you do?
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Shut down? Because I was scared of what he was
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: going to do?
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: Keep looking. So he lied to you? What did you
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: tell yourself in your own head?
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: I don't matter, what I feel doesn't matter.
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: Is that an absolute trick? No? So you lied in
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: that moment. So you did the same thing you judged
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: you dad for in that same moment, breath then and
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: just both of you see that the same thing you
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: judge someone for you do it instantaneously. You might want
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: to do another one on malicious. I think malicious is
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: one for you.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I'm something maliciously someone else, affiliate someone else.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: You know, I was accumulated in front of my mum.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: But to me to lie to myself, it's almost like
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: a protective mechanism.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: It's okay. So that's a different trait. So we're doing
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: one trade today. I would do another process on that.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: I recommend doing seven to ten balancing process. This is asap. Wow,
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: So you'd probably want to do one on anger. And
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: you said the word aggression before, and you said the
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: word malicious malicious, So do you get triggered when people
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: are malicious?
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: So much?
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: So do that next time. We've obviously started, so we're
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: going to continue, but focus on lying. That's the trait.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: Don't blend traits here. So can you guys see that
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: you do this trait to the same degree as this
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: person and you did it in the same fucking moment
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: they did it back to you? Can you see that
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: you do this in all areas of your life? Can
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: you see that you've been seen doing these traits. People
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: have seen you do this. Take a big breath in.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: How are you feeling? Actually, I don't know why.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: The word milicious just triggered me so much. Take a
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: breath then, and because I feel like it's raw at
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: the moment with a group of girls, I feel like
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: it's just like word milicious.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I just don't cope with very Well, that's perfect.
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: Thank You've been courageous and being modernalle So i'd probably
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: do a process on that another time. Take a big
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: breath in and just feel what that feels like, because
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: you probably in your psyche, you probably think lying is
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: being malicious. So the next question is what did this
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: person go through in their life for them to display
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: the trait the way that they did. Now you're going
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: to write that down and you can do sentences, paragraphs,
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: or points. What did this person go through in their
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: life for them to display the traite the way that
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: they did. Did they ever heal their trauma? Did they
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: ever get taught how to communicate openly? What were their
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: parents like, what was their childhood like, what was their
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: relationship like? What was going on in his life in
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: that moment when he lied? What was going on in
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: his life around that time? What was going on for
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: your mum at that time? Write down everything their upbringing.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: Did they get taught how to regulate? Did they get
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: taught how to communicate? Did they get taught how to
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: heal their shit? Were they carrying around decades of trauma
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: that they never addressed? Write down everything that you know.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: There's why parents and partners are generally easier for this process.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Now you technically don't have to do this question, but
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: we're going to get the most done as we can.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: I feel like I heard more about his siblings saying
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: they had a beautiful childhood.
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: So what about your dad? He never really told us
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: so was he very shut down? Yeah?
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: He was a very shut down person. Did he ever
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: do any inner healing? No, So he's carrying around a
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: lot of trauma then, yeah. Was he financially stressed at
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: the time?
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: And financial stress? By him lying, what was he protecting
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: you from or what was he getting from that.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Too large to try and create a wedge with me
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: and mum?
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: Potentially he's trying to keep the relationship with you, So
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: you're not going towards mummy, you're coming towards him. If
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: you step into someone's shoes, from the moment they're born
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: to the moment of this moment, you understand why they
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: did it? This is doing that? What do they come
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: up with? What pain did they experience? What was their
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: relationships like? What was his relationship like with you? Mum
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: at that time?
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: Who's cheating? I love?
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: You?
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: Write down? Why would someone cheat?
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Because he's unhappy? Beautiful?
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: Unhappy? You write it down directly, add some shame around that.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: How are you going to unsafe environment? Decades of trauma,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: no healing, needed to protect yourself. Always everything was always
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: a threat to her? Makes me feel guilty.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: That's okay. This one's only a shorter question. Read over
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: what you've just written out.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: It doesn't mean you agree with them and you condone
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: what they did. Can you understand why they did that
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: trait the way that they did. From what you just
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: wrote down, you can start writing down the next question.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: What negative emotions did mum experience? Going through what you
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: just wrote down? Up eight for ten, Guilt, shame over all,
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: the yeah, you know what's coming? How are you going?
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: I think he.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: Wanted to make me look like a liars who was
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: like projecting his own stuff onto me because he couldn't.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Sit with that.
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, shame, maybe guilt and shame. Yeah, it's a shame strategy.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: Can you see why he likes? Can you understand it
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: doesn't mean you agree with it.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: It's uncomfortable to sit with shame projected.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: Can you see that? Beautiful? You can now do the
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: next question? Write down what negative emotions would he have
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: felt going through everything you just wrote down? Common ones guilt, shame, overwhelmed, fear, anxiety, guilt, fear, loneliness, overwhelm.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: I think he's a narcissist, so I don't think he
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: felt much. Sorry, my difficult client, I.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: Keep looking what negative emotions would he have felt going
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: through those emotions? Was your dad a child at one point?
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: So he's felt emotions?
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: Right? Yeah? When ten, I want to give her a
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: big hug.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: That's good. You do only want to out the end
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: of the process. You want to say thank You're not
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: fucking to ask four? That's right? What do you got?
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Shame? You, guilt, significance, what else?
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: Negative emotions? Go back to the exact moment they did
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: this trait and breathe them to it. If you're feeling
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: it too, you can feel it in your It's perfect.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: In that exact moment when this person did the trait,
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: What negative emotions did they feel in that moment to
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: do the trait? Let your heart answer it, not your
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: fucking head. What did they feel negatively to do this trait? Guilt, shame, disconnecting?
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: Feel though, I know that's a belief for yours. Get present.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: Let your heart answer it. That's a head answer.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: Close your eyes, he truly is, That's all right, that's
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: a belief.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: Breathe Get present. Put your hand on your heart. In
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: that moment when he lied, Get present. Think about where
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: you were when it was and the fifteen year old yourself,
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: I think you said, in that exact moment when he lied,
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: what negative emotions did he experience in that moment to
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: lie to you? Feel your heart answer it, not your head.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: What came up for you? What answer came up for you?
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Abandonment? Be abandoned, my mom.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: Get one more answer, and then we'll move on to
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: the next one.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Is shit an emotion?
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: Whatever? If I If I ask you to feel that
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: and you can feel it, you can write down both
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: you guys. Closing your eyes one at a time. You're
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: going to look at the first emotion. You're then going
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: to close your eyes and you're going to feel that
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: emotion now, and you're going to breathe into it, breathing
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: what this feels like. If it helps to bring up
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: moments where you've actually felt this before, do that. Step
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: into it, Breathe into it, dial up the emotion as
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: much as you can. Don't avoid it. Ladies. This is
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: what real courage looks like. And I'm so proud of
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: you for leaning into this. Feel it through you now.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: Breathe into this. Now, open your heart to this. Now,
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: feel what this feels like through your body, through your
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: nervous system, through your heart. Breathe this into you now.
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: Once you felt that emotion, move on to the next one.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: All of your emotions are worthy and welcomed. Feel it
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: through you, open up to it, and again, once you
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: feel like you felt that emotion as much, you can
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: just move on to the next one. You'll find certain
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: emotions bring up more for you. Focus on those ones.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: It would be some emotion that really hit your heart
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: and feel them, your beautiful souls with beautiful hearts, breathing
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: into it, feeling as much as you can feel it
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: through you. If you move, if you shake, if you yawn,
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: if you cry, all of it is welcomed. If you
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: make any noises, that is perfect. Breathe and feel, feel
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: and breathe this into you. Feel what it feels like
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: to feel this emotion. Step into it.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Cry all my makeup.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: That's okay, it's all. Welcome to your mother. This is
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: what this person was experiencing and had experienced in that
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: moment and through their life. Breathe into it. Ten seconds,
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: Open that heart just a little bit more. Three, two
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: and one. Are you ladies feeling Are you feeling tender?
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: What's them for you? Actually, I'm not sure I can
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: feel the resistance with you.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: I think it's hard to connect with like him feeling
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: these because there's just no sign of him feeling any
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: of that. Ever, it was like he laughed at it
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: and got a kick out of it.
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: That will be your perception of him. So there's traits
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: that were painful, and when you label someone, you don't
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: see them, You see the label. So you see him
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: as a lying, abusive, manipulative.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: Is just some of the words the evidence.
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: That's your worldview. That's right, that's your ego. You don't
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: see things the way they are. You see things the
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: way you are. That's how you see your dad. You
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: don't see the fullness of your dad right now, and
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: then you attract people who mirror him and trigger you.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: I feel like I did the opposite say in him.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, everything I don't want in a
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: father for my children and a husband to me, So
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: check the opposite. Then the big teddy bear that doesn't
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: yell and doesn't abuse and does hit and throw things
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: at me as your.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: Partner lied to you.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's lied.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: So you've attracted these parts of your dad. Yeah, it's
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: until you learn to love this part of your dad,
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: which is a part of you.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: Self growth, it is learning to love all parts of
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: who you are. And again we're focus online, but you've
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: just got some of these other resistant ones that are
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: coming into it. Yeah, you're like, I can't feel this
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: because he was a dickhead, he was ashle Yeah.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: I feel the lying part, and I can own that
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: in me because there's so much evidence of me lying.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: So I'll just do the same thing for all these
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: traits that you're saying. Yeah, there's probably like a three
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: or four that you want to do for Dad. Yeah,
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: I think the first one for Dad was a radic
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: that was the first trait I did, and then lazy, victim, lying, controlling.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: They just want to figure out. That's why I say
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: seven to ten is like a good yeah, spot tape.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: And later we do it.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: Later, let's do the next one. So this will be
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: the last question we'll do for tape. So this is
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: the actual rebalance of the trait itself. There's no such
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: thing as a bad trait that trees most people.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like really, yea.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: This is a demo quote. He says all events are
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: neutral until a human filters it into polarization. Life is
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: not good nor bad. Thinking your senses so right, I
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: believe that. So close down your eyes using one word answers,
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: let your intuition answer it. That's why the more present
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: you are with the moment, the easier this question is. Okay,
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: So breathe into the moment. Get into the moment that
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: we selected at the start. Think about where were you,
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: when was it, what this person did when you labeled
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: them the label. Breathe into it. Trust in your heart
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: it'll be traits, behaviors, or gifts. You can use whatever
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: you want. It comes up. Trust your heart. Breathe in
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: that exact moment instantaneously when they did this trait, what
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: did you summon within yourself to get through that moment?
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: Breathe once it pops up, write it down. What did
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: you summon in that exact moment to get through that moment?
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: Gifts benefits to you? What came up for you?
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Strength? Self protection.
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: We're going to aim for fifteen to twenty, okap, what else?
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: Resilience, perfect else, courage, compassion, strengths, resilience, self reliance, courage, compassion,
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: love myself.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: Keep going? What else? You also say? What did it
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: force you to learn about yourself?
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Love? Patience?
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: Well done?
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: Unlovable, well done, and I'm deserving a people's time very well. Values?
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: Well done? Kicking morals well done. You could also say,
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: from that moment until today, how has it served you?
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: What have you gained from that moment since today? You
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: can use archetypes if you want to, like the nurturer,
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: the mother, yeah, print, the priestess, queen. You might have
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: some white bulbs as you start writing down your answers.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: The best way to find more answers go back to
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: the moment. You're intuition will tell you it's straight away. People,
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: we can't find anymore. Get present, breathe in that moment?
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: What did you get? What gift did you gain? What
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: did you learn? How did it serve you in that moment?
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: What did you summon it within yourself to get through
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: the moment? And it would just go and you'll just
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: find more and more and more and more. The present
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: moment is where all the gifts are eka totally the now.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: Get into the now. How has it served you from
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: that moment until today? What gifts has it given you?
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: What lessons has it served you with?
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: To lead myself? To parent myself, leadership, parenting, love it, nature, others, beautiful,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: self protection, are, resilience, courage, compassion, love, patience, lovable, deserving
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: of other's time and tension, taking care of myself, nurturing others,
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: caretaking for others, coaching myself, leading myself, parenting myself, self trust,
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: self reliance, caring, empathetic strength, power, grit.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: Would you give up these parts of who you are?
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: Absolutely not perfect?
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: Indrid yours, strength, resilience, self reliance, courage, compassion, love for myself, values, morals,
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: parenting skills, the nurturer, the rescuer, independence, drive, motivation. The
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: biggest life lessons my kindness, my work ethic taught me
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: to be loving, to be honest, to be respectful, to
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: be conscious, to be better, and to be powerful.
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: Would you give up these parts of yousef Never?
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: That's why I love my dad for it. I said
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: that fore years I wouldn't be who I am without it,
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: And now you're stepping into it deeper. So that's like
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: a high level, intellectualized answer. The emotional part we've been
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: doing today gets you to actually get that more. What
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: you just said is very intellectualized. I'm so grateful for
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: everything that though, like you saw have resistance, say though,
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: so you so long as resolve the resistance, and you'll
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: have it through your heart and you'll have nothing but
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: love for him. You'll look at your eyes say fucking
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: thank you.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: There'll be someone in your life who needed these gifts
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: from you.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, tell me who it is?
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: Is that the real answer? It can be? What of Yeah,
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: someone's meaningfully specifically needed all of these from you?
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: My mom?
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: Perfect?
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: Who needed these gifts from you?
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Ex partner?
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: Perfect? Close your eyes? Why did that person need all
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: these gifts from you specifically.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Because they never got them from anyone else.
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: How does that feel? Give me the emotional answer, how
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: does that feel to be able to give those gifts
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: to that person?
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: So fulfilling?
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: Breathe in to that. That's a head answer. Feel what
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: it feels like to be able to give that beautiful
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: human all of these gifts because they never fucking got
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: them from anyone else.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: There isn't a word for that.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: Feeling perfect, That's what I'm wanting to feel it to you?
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: What does it feel like to be able to give
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: your ex partner all of these things he never got
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: and you were the beautiful soul to be able to
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: give these to him? How does that feel in your heart?
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Like? Nurturing? Beautiful?
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: One last short question will wrap it up. If someone
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: was to give you a gift, a present, and inside
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: of that gift was all of those words you just
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: wrote down, all of those benefits. What positive emotions would
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: you feel to receive them?
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: Lit up, joy, feel them as you say them, grateful, beautiful, peace, beautiful,
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: Now before you feel them, missus stab Gifts require two things,
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: the giving of a gift and the opening of a gift.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: You guys are opening up your gifts right now. Who
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: gave you this gift to open? That person for you? Dad, yeah,
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: stepdad Yeah, feel these emotions towards the person who gave
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: you the gift to open. So so you've still got
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: resistance to it. That's what I was saying. That's why
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: I said, you've still intellectually said you're grateful for him, because.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: They I am.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: There's both, they both are there, they both like co
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: existing together.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: So you've still got some resistance to it. So close
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: in your eyes and breathe and feel these emotions towards
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: the person who gave you the gift to open. Because
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: you only receive gifts you're worthy of opening. When you
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: ask for strength, you don't get given strength. You get
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: given pain and challenges that make you fucking strong. When
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: you wish for that whole list of gifts, feel it ashly,
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: well done.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: I don't want to get it from him.
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: That's okay, Feel it and breathe it. When you wish
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: for all of those fucking gifts, you don't get given them.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: You get given the fucking opposite to teach you how
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: to summon it within yourself. Breathe them to the Ashy,
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: thank you for opening the heart and keep feeling that.
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: You get to be the woman, the mother, the inspiration
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: you are to millions of people. For your dad given
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: you a gift many years ago. You've still got your
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: fuck used to him. We'll address that later. For this moment,
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: right now, feel it like you are right now. Thank you.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: Breathe them to your heart, open your heart. That's it
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: as keep feeling it too, Tea. You get to be
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: the woman, an inspiration you are to so many people
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: because of your mum ignoring you so many years ago.
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: Breathe into your heart and open your heart to it.
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: Last question for today, this person. We're comparing the current
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: version of you sit in front of me today compared
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: to the old version of this person from that moment
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: you selected old again, So we're comparing the current version
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: of yourself right now in front of me today versus
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: the old version of the person from that moment. For
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: your dad, actually for you T Mum, from that moment
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: that you selected, did this person your mum T and
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: your dad ashly have all of these gifts and traits
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: that you wrote down, have them to the degree you
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: have them today? Did they have them back? Then in
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: that moment, to the degree you have them today, Breathe
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: into it. This is the last hypnotic part for today.
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: We are given things in two ways. We are given
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: what someone has, or we are given what they don't have.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: You were given all these beautiful gifts because this and
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: didn't have them. They gave them to you the only
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: fucking way they knew how by giving you the opposite.
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: They wanted them so badly. That's why they gave them
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: to you, because you were worthy of receiving them from them.
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: Breathe and see that and that you are the gifts
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: you are today because they gave you everything they didn't have.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving me a gift.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: Let those tears floats from your eyes that they are
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: for you, opening up the gift of who you are today.
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: You both are fucking gifts. I see it, and millions
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: of people see it. And this person helped you become
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: the gift you are today. You wouldn't be the gift
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: to the degree you are today if it wasn't for
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: them doing what they did for you. Because life's always
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: happening for you, not to you. Right, Yeah, yeah, you've
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: heard it before and right now, you're feeling it and
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: recognizing it at your core. It breathe into it. How
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: do you guys feeling grateful?
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: God? That got me. It was really holding back those tears. Yeah,
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: I feel good, but I feel like a lot of compassion. Yeap.
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: You know, anything outside of loving gratitude is a lot
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: side of perception. That's de Montini. So until you generally
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: feel it in your heart, feel I did a podcast
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: for a guy yongs ago. It's like, I'm so grateful
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: for everything really, So tell me about your dad. Oh yeah,
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: I've worked on that. I'm like, what's the thing you
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: hate the most about your dad? Absent was the word
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: go back to the moment, just so crying. He's like, brother,
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: now felders for well, because you can intellectually because you
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: were down a bit of that, yeah, right before my
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: dad and then I said feel it you like, but
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: then you started to at the end of that, you
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: started to, which is beautiful.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I did, like a smile on my face.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: Now close eyes and just do a check in. How
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: do you feel in terms of emotional resistance towards this
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: trait right now compared to where we started?
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: Feel really neutral?
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: Perfect? Yeah, Now you will be less triggered by it.
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: Excellent notice it self. Growth is when things that used
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: to trigger you don't trigger you anymore. And what's the
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: next one? We work on whatever triggering is next. You
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: will attract people in circumstances to reveal where you haven't here?
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: Is that why I'd be attracting people that have not
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: because you're not. You're trying to run away from it,
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: but you run straight into it. But I say, don't
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: look for yellow bus. What do you think of the bus?
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Wow? That shows up maliciousness.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: That's what that's And that was I snuck in the
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: last two steps. So that was six steps. There's twelve
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: in total. The very last question to make sure you've
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: done the whole process properly is would you change any
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: of this? And once you get there you'll say no,
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: and then you say great. Then you write a gratitude
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: letter to this person for them doing the traits, not everything,
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: because you generally have your other fuck use to them
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: for other things. We do that later, but it's a
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: gratitude letter. Dear mum. Write it from your heart and
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: write it for them doing the traite, not everything about
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: them because you have your other fuck used to them
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: that you'll work on later.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Are we writing to things for the gifts?
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, however you want to say ignoring me, how you
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: for ignoring me? Because that helped me become who I
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: am today, to be the woman, the mother, the nurturer,
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: person making so much impact on so many people because
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: you ignore me the exact way you were meant to.
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: She played the role you were meant to play. Wow,
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: and I can't thank you enough for it and the
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: cherry on top as you read it to them. But
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: that's not always practical for people.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: I can imagine that would be super healing if somebody
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: had the capacity to hold that.
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and for the person receiving it.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: Too, that's what I mean. Yeah.
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: I did it.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: To remove the guilt and shame that they would feel
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: and carry about those moments. Yeah, that's super interesting.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: That's the cherry on top of the process. And what
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: I do at my three day event is we do
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: this process the full version on day two, and on
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: day three I get them to go up to the
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: front of the room and share their takeaways and almost
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: everyone cries. Yeah, you're externalizing it. Yeah, so it's really cool.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: I'm just like crying the whole time.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: One I could imagine this is such an emotional day.
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: And also you will allow yourself to be seen as
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: this trait more now, so you'll be okay ignoring people,
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: and you'll be okay line to people. I've been seen
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: as someone who lies. But if you're doing it out
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: of a coping mechanism, that's the problem. I don't ignore
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: people because ignorant is bad. That's the problem versus I
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: choose to ignore you because I feel like I want to,
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: or I can't ignore you because that's bad. That's where
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: we have resistance. We want to assume it on it.
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: Can you give an example for the lying line? Could
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: be probably someone like, hey, do I look at in this?
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: And they're like, yeah, you look great. I'd be okay
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: with lying, So you'll be okay lying to people. Yeah, hey, Ash,
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: do you want to catch it for a coffee? And
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: you don't want to, but you've got the time to
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: and you'd be like, You're like yeah, So find those
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: moments when.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: Other people lie. It won't be as triggering because.
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: I'll be like, oh, it's not a good or a
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: bad trait, It's just a trait. Yeah, that has equal
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: parts to it.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: Then it has no emotional charge around it. Yeah cool.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: So then you're also in more control over how you're responding.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: To become more authentic to it.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: It's learned to love all parts of who you are,
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: so you're able to show and express that part of you.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: This so cool.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: So it's mainly Dee Martinez like the foundation of the work.
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: But then it's like emotional release techniques. So I'm going
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: to you to feel it, feel it, feel it, but
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: a timeline therapy in there as well, hypnotherapy. That last
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: line that got you, that's like hypnotherapy.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: Oh man, I was like swallowing the tears. Thank you
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: so much for today's That was incredible. It was challengeable
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: and like uncomfortable and also such a beautiful process. And
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: I can see, oh cool. I really want to do
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: that on other traits as well, because there are so
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: many things that I would feel so much. Yes, it's
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: like that malicious one for me.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: I was like, well do it right now. I think
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: of someone you don't like, don't use mumble dad, someone
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: else just comes to mind. You wouldn't want to hang
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: out with them. In a one word answer, what's the
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: one thing you disclike. Much about the malicious selfish comes
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: up to me to process about you get triggered in
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: people are selfish from people malicious with so you try
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: to self abandoned. I try to be seen as selfless.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, I do.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: Triggers and projections show the parts of you that you
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: haven't worked on or healed yet. Then you just find trait,
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: insert it into process, due process done. You know when
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: I needed to do victim victim. Yeah, I did one
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: on victim recently.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: Say those triggers me, Oh my.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: God, so cool, Thank you so much. So if anyone
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: wants to do this work with you, where did they
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: find you?
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: I've got to Instagrams for the best place. I've got
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: a school community and you get like a guy version.
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: It's like guided therapy. It's the best I can say.
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: So it's a video where I'll tell you I guide
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: you through it. I say pause the video, answer the question,
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: and you do that. I do an in person event
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: version of it.
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: You've also got a book, because yes, it's.
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: Pretty much a book version of my work. So accord
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: it to Inspired Life method. So how to find your
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: true self, your values, your purpose, your mission, your vision,
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: how to do it in a work so limited beliefs.
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: We have done belief to day, but dumb perceptions. So
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: I do limited belie perceptions and emotional blocks, which is
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: like Jodas Benzo, like how you change your emotional home,
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: and then the strategies of how you bring it to well. Say,
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: there's like spiritual humans who levitate all day and they're broken,
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: and they've got people that work all day and hustle
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: what they're u fulfilled. I want to put those together.
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: You can't pay you, landlord with gratitude. So I'm into
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: the spiritual world. But I'm also a very practical human. Yeah,
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: it's I think I'm like eighty twenty practical to spiritual
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: because I've got friends who are full spiritual and they're
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: like levitating all day and they're like, bro, how are
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: you doing so well at business? I'm like, because you
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: don't do anything, you do anything. I actually work, I
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: take action. But yeah, it's blending those two worlds together.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, so much. We'll see it's next time.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: Eight