Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap PODCAST: Tesla Gets Your Spot

Transcript

Phone Tap PODCAST: Tesla Gets Your Spot · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: One eight hundred dy away. We'll go to one eight
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: hundred d yaway dot com. A great defense can be
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: the difference between a dismiss case or jail time one
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: eight hundred Do you y away? He's another jubil the twenties.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Tell me I'm five. Hello, this is warn Hey Warren,
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: this is Jimmy patch over in corporate HR. You got
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: a minute? Oh um? Yeah? What's up? Well, before I start,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I want to say this might be a little bit
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: of a tough conversation for you, but I want you
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: to know this is all just business. Okay, Am I
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: am I getting fired? No? No, I wish that'd be
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: an easy conversation. I should be like, get out of here,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: a low life, pack your bags. I'm just joking. You're
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: not getting fired, but you need to talk. Oh okay,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: I need to tell you that we're going to be
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: moving your company parking spot. What why? Okay, Well, it's
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: actually it's kind of exciting. Okay. We just made a
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: new hire and he is something else. He's super cool,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: like extremely handsome, got a great mind. It's like if
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Mark Zuckerberg and had Sheer and had a baby. That's
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: the kind of guy we're talking about Mark Zuckerberg, and
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: that doesn't sound like a handsome baby. Okay, well you
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. He's young, he's hip, and he
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  Speaker 1: drives a Tesla. So fuck so he's gonna need your
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: parking spot. That's what I've had that parking spot for
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: like five years. I'm not just gonna let a new
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: guy take it. That doesn't make sense, all right, But
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: it's not just any new guy. Okay, I'm not sure
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: if you heard me. He drives a Tesla. I don't
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: care what he drives. Okay, well we do. We at
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: the company. We care because we really think it would
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: help our company's image if he parked right in front
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: of the building. You know where your spot is. Company
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: image where a storage company? Right, yes, And that's what
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: we don't want people to think of us as just
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: a storage company. We want people to think of us
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: as a company that stores nice things here. And what
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: are people going to think when they drive a tour
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: building and they see your clunker out in front. You
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: know it's a Forerunner, right? My cars not even that old,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: at least it like two years ago. Okay, but is
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  Speaker 1: it electric? Does it have a ludicrous mode? Probably? Not.
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  Speaker 1: Why does that even matter. I mean, I'm not leaving
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: the spot. I love that spot. It's my spot. I've
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: been there forever. Like I said, I understand, I understand.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Like I said, I knew this was gonna be a
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: tough conversation. But you're still gonna have a great parking spot,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: just not that one. Okay, Then he can have that
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: great parking spot right next to the side entrance, right,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: But we found a lovely offsite lot. It's got a
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: great view of the train tracks. It's only a fifteen
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: minute walk. Fifteen minute walk, I mean, you could probably
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: use the exercise anyway, right, What the hell is that
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: supposed to mean. I just mean everybody can use a
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: nice brisk walk in the morning, you know. And let's
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: of course you drive a Tesla, then no need. This
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: is both dude, I'm not standing for this. Okay, here's
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: an option. Maybe if you upgraded your v le to
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: something a little less basic and vomit inducing, we could
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: get your spot up front. Vomit inducing. My Toyota four
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Runner is vomit inducing well compared to a Tesla. Yes,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: this is the most ridiculous call. I don't even know
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: who you are. Like I said, my name is Jimmy Patch.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I'm new here. I was just hired last week, and
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: I'm making a few changes, including the parking. Wait, who's
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: the new employee with the new employee? Which new employee
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: the one that's taking my spot? Oh? Oh okay, sorry,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: that's actually not important. What's important is that you not
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: parking that spot again? No, you tell me right now
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: who is is? I want to talk to that guy,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: all right, full disclosure, because honestly is important. I might
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: be the new employee that needs that spot. Oh my god,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: I knew it. You are not having that. Well, okay,
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I've earned it, though I have earned it, earned it.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: You weren't here for one week, right, But I do
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: have a Tesla and I can't be parking fifteen minutes away.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Sound Oh my god, cut your about the tesla. Nobody
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: gives a about your stupid tesla. Okay, well, I would
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: disagree with you because you should see the looks like
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: get when I drive down the street. No one gives
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: you know, we could always race for the spot. You
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: want to race for the spot, we could race for it.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I don't want to race, of course you don't. Of
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: course you don't you know why because I drive a Tesla.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: So what, let's do it. I will smoke your and
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: your dumb tesla. You're gonna smoke my app in my tesla. Yeah,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: you heard me, right outside of lunch, right in the intersection.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Let's do I'm gonna smoke your asp, smoke my right
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: outside the building. Yeah, what you scared? No, that kind
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: of sounds intriguing. Listen, if you can smoke my in
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: the intersection, I'm gonna yank your chain in the kitchen.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: What you smoke myall? Yank your chain? What do you think?
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: What the hell is wrong with you? Dude? This is
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: actually Jewel from Brook and Jewel in the morning doing
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: a phone tap on you and your co worker Jarvis
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: set you up. That's what's wrong with me. What it's
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: a joke. Your coworker, Jarvist said that you're very protectively
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: your parking spot. I wanted to mess with you. Oh
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: my god, are you kidding me? Yes, it's a joke.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: He said that somebody parked in your spot last week
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: and you freaked out. Well yeah I did freak out, man,
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: that's fine spot. I have that thing for five years.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Well not anymore because we got a Tesla in the house.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Oh man, you're Tesla.