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The Final Frontier: Sexual Transparency in Your Marriage · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for April 10, 2026 The Final Frontier Sexual Transparency in Your Marriage,
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  Are there parts of your sexual self that you keep behind closed doors,
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  or locked doors, or boarded-up doors?
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  Sex is private and personal. What's more, some of what you did,
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  said, or thought in the past may be embarrassing.
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  So closed doors are absolutely appropriate with everyone other than your spouse.
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  But what about your spouse?
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  Many in the world say what, or who, I did before I met you is none of your business.
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  Everything I've said this week about the rooms in your life applies to sex,
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  including the need to know each other to become fully one.
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  Knowing each other's sexual past helps you understand triggers and broken places.
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  It gives you empathy and makes it easier to accept workarounds.
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  It can help you realize it's not personal and it's not about you.
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  I suggest you share it all. That time you played doctor with another child.
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  Self-discovery during long baths.
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  The emotions and discoveries that came with puberty.
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  How you were exposed to porn and any struggles you had with it.
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  Your first kiss. your first orgasm, and your first everything else.
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  The goal isn't to give every last detail.
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  Rather, you are providing an honest overview of your sexuality.
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  Focus on the impact of the stories rather than a graphic inventory.
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  While some memories are light, others carry the weight of trauma.
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  Talk about your fears, confusion, and embarrassment. If one or both of you were
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  molested, talk about that.
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  My encouragement to be safe applies here. Don't push your spouse,
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  especially about harmful events.
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  Give them a safe place, an empathetic ear, and the time and space they need.
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  Be aware that talking about sexual abuse can make sex difficult or scary here and now.
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  This should be a temporary challenge, and long-term you should experience greater
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  freedom and enjoyment of sex. But be ready for a speed bump.
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  If your spouse is the one with the abuse in their past, be quick to offer support
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  and grace, and be prepared for a temporary interruption in your sex life.
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  Extending no closed doors to your sexuality may be a real stretch.
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  Do think and pray about it before you start. The reward for allowing that access
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  is a better sex life and a better marriage.
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  This is Paul, and open doors make it easier to do sex well.