Latest / The Expert Method / Why a Narrower Life Can Make You More Free
Transcript
- speaker-0: As that road gets narrower, I'm less at the mercy of the entire world and the entire universe. I'm picking and choosing what I am doing with my life, and I am choosing those things that are going to make me most effective. Personally, professionally, all of those things. And that is real freedom. I'm responsible for narrowing that road. And I'm responsible for narrowing my scope. speaker-1: Today's guest is Daryl Dittmer. Daryl is an author, coach, and entrepreneur whose work focuses on discipline, personal responsibility, and learning how to live with more intention. He's also had his own experience and journey through recovery, which he's open and shares in our conversations day. In addition to that, we talk about why narrowing your choices can actually make you more free. We also get into removing habits, relationships, and distractions that keep pulling you off course, setting better boundaries. And learning how to hold yourself accountable without constantly beating yourself up. If you get value from this conversation, be sure to subscribe and share it with a friend. And now please enjoy my conversation with Daryl Dittmer. Daryl, thank you so much for being here. speaker-0: Thanks, Ian. speaker-1: Great to be here, man. Looking forward to it. Yeah, we're managing some technical difficulties to open things up, but we're gonna power through. so one story that you've brought up in other podcasts and other shows stuck with me, and it was the idea that your sponsor, Bud, used to tell you this idea that the the road gets narrower, but freedom becomes unbelievable. So I want to start by exploring that idea. So what do you mean when you say a narrower road and how has it made you more free? speaker-0: You know, it's it's very paradoxical. And when I hear it sort of back to me, it sounds actually incredibly interesting. And it is because the more we, you know, we start out in life and we have this kind of you know, and when I started in business, I'll just say business. When I started in sales and business, I kind of had this this really wide range of things that I could do and behaviors I could engage in and You know, I want to do this and I want to do that. And and I found out that if I wanna be successful, I've got to have things a little closer to home and I gotta move them a little closer to the behaviors and the actions that are going to align me with success. And so, and that, you know, that shows up the same way for life as it does for sales and for business. You know, you have to align your behaviors and your actions with things that are going to make you a successful human and and you know, outside of making money. So how that equates to freedom is that I'm not as that road gets narrower, I'm less at the mercy. Of the entire world and the entire universe and all of social media and all of my friends and all that stuff. I'm picking and choosing what I am doing with my life. And I am choosing those things that are gonna make me most effective. Personally, professionally, all of those things. And that is real freedom. When I can wake up in the morning and say, I'm going to choose the habits that I engage in. I'm going to choose what I want to eat. I'm going to choose when I eat. I'm going to choose my exercise. I'm going to choose to be grateful. I'm going to choose my breathing techniques. I'm going to choose my meditation. All of those things are things that that allow me to be free. So that's a really great question coming out of the gate, Ian. I'm glad you asked it. speaker-1: Yeah, absolutely. I think it's just one of those curious paradoxes of life or principl the paradoxical principles that can lead us to a you know, a better situation for ourselves. It reminded me a lot of the idea from Jocko Willing's work where I think he has a a quote where he says something along the lines of discipline equals freedom. And it is one of those, you know, again, paradoxes where it's okay Freedom doesn't mean the freedom to just do whatever it is that you want. It's more like it's closer to freedom to live the life that you say that you want to live. And the only way, the only path, the only journey that you can walk to get there is a is a path, a journey of some sort of discipline, right? Is the only way that's gonna carry you there. speaker-0: Hundred percent. And you know, if I'm just doing this my whole life and not applying discipline and not, you know, promoting habits that make me better, I'm just gonna be doing this and eventually I'm gonna do that. So when I choose the things that I do and choose how I live and choose how I wanna feel, and I don't feel a certain way because I tell myself to, I feel a certain way because of the habits that I engage in. And that's really crucial to understand. And then my trajectory starts going like this. And and that's a really cool feeling because because that freedom freedom just broadens and deepens over time. speaker-1: Yeah. And listeners will recognize this, you know, sequence that we've brought up in recent conversations here on the podcast. But there's almost like this flywheel of, okay, we've established through other conversations here on the podcast that, you know, your thoughts create your emotions and your emotions create your actions. But then it doesn't just stop there, right? It's a flywheel where your actions, the actions, the disciplined actions that you take are going to help fuel more, you know, discipline and positive, not to be too fluffy about the idea of more positive thoughts about both yourself, which then is going to fuel more positive emotions that you feel about yourself, which is going to breed more productive and disciplined action. So it's just like that positive flywheel. And I think the hardest part for myself is sure, you can say these things, you can understand these things, and maybe you can walk the right path for a couple of weeks, a month, a year, right? But inevitably you're going to get thrown off course. And then it's finding your way back to that, you know, Positive path again, whatever it is that we want to call it, that can be really hard. Like I've been thrown anybody who's built a business or is in a position like sales, it can be an emotional roller coaster and it's not a straight path up, right? It's not just one of these things that you just click and you're like, I understand it. Now I'm going to be walking this positive path, right? So how have you found in your own experience the ability to kind of have that reset or kind of get back on track? speaker-0: You know, this may sound slightly cliche, but hopefully not. I have to be in touch with my why. And I'm and and my why has to be powerful enough to carry me through those difficult times. You know, a a lot of people will say, I want to be rich. You know, I want to be rich in sales. Well, you know what? Everybody does. That's not, you know, whatever. I I who cares? You wanna be. You have to decide that you're going to be, and you have to know why you want to go in that direction. You you just do. And and and your why has to be strong enough. I kind of look at the why as my bus driver, you know? I just got to keep my bus driver driving in that direction. And that's my why. And that's what keeps me going. And there's bumps and there's all kinds of crazy stuff that happens. I get my teeth kicked in. You know, proverbially, I get betrayed, I get, you know, deals go bad, whatever. People leave me in business that I didn't think we're going to, all that sort of thing. It all happens. And the only thing that sometimes would keep me anchored is my why, you know, that that that dude driving the bus. And and that is absolutely crucial. And and the bus driver has to drive through the difficult stuff because. You can't go around it. If you start doing this, like and you try to go around that difficult stuff, it's only going to be at the other end when you go around it because you have to learn the lessons. You don't just have to be exposed to them and then try to, you know, circumvent them. You have to go through them and you have to have the pain and you got to feel the pain. So, but at some point, Ian, and I believe this to be 100% true because I've seen it. So many times in my life, you get to a point where you're like, Bring it on. You know, I haven't seen enough. You're not, you're not that tough, you know, difficulty and and all of the bad things and difficult things that happen. Like, bring it on. And you start to love the challenges. And and that's a pretty cool place to be. And that will keep you going, you know, once you once you're through that why and through those initial stages. Embracing challenge will be the next thing that you learn to love. speaker-1: Yeah, that's a powerful idea. And when I hear that, I start to reflect back on my own journey and try to kind of understand, okay, how could you get to the point where you love and, you know, really appreciate those challenges that you experience? And I would imagine it comes from the idea that you've you know that those challenges and those hard times are where you're gonna grow. Like you know that on the other side of that is going to be some point of growth, some improvement that you make, some new lesson that you have learned. Is that the idea with that? Is that you start to really like kind of look forward to those challenging moments, those opportunities, because you see them as opportunities to grow and develop? speaker-0: It is that, and it's also, you know, Joseph Campbell, one of my favorite authors, and he doesn't teach sales or anything, but he teaches life. And one of the things he says is somebody asked him if he if he had faith. They're like, your faith is pretty strong, isn't it? And he's like, No, I don't have any faith. I have experience. And so that's a really crucial thing to be able to lean back on and rely on. Because I know that every single time I've gone through a difficult time, it has ended up just fine. We always get through it. And, you know, until that sort of final one when you don't. But but as long as you're when you're going through life and going through your business life and your sales life and whatever that is, those challenges come up and you get through them. And it's not just that you learn. You actually grow another piece of armor, you know, that just goes on that armor suit and then you become formidable because nobody can drop, you know, can knock you off your game at that point. And that's that's another cool place to get to, just knowing like, you know, whatever, whatever happens, happens, and it's okay. I'm not in charge of all of the, you know, nuances of what life is gonna throw at me. All I'm in charge of is my behavior and getting through it. And that's it. Yeah. speaker-1: Yep. And your reaction to the events and the things that happen to you, right? You're you're in charge of your behavior, getting through it, and the you know, the underlying fundamentals of that is your reaction to those events and the things that happen. Maybe another interesting idea that we could dive into is the idea that you talked about obstacles and these challenges are the things that we you can't avoid, right? You have to almost steer into them, steer through them. So is there Anything that you believe to be said about the idea of using those obstacles, those recurring challenges, those things that are kind of bogging you down is almost like a signal of like, okay, that's the thing that I need to go attack now. Like is there any way that you can almost use and f identify those obstacles and use it as a signal of the next thing that you need to go and attack? speaker-0: Yes, I think there's there's something in there that really resonates for me and it's this. in my younger years, I was amazed at I would get these lessons, you know, this lesson would come like, well maybe you don't need to do it that way anymore. And I would run. I'd go the other way, like, you know, I don't want that lesson. You just leave me alone. I'm I'm not I'm not gonna respond. And then that lesson would come back around. And then it would come back around. And it comes back until I figure out a way to do things another way or respond in another way. And so, you know, life is from what I've gleaned, you know, in business, life, sales, whatever it is, it's all the same stuff and it's all the same principles. It's it's owning it. One hundred percent, you know, me owning everything about it, whether it's how I act or how I react or how I respond or whatever it is. And and so the only thing I need to do, and I'll I'll tell a quick little story here. So my wife and I owned a restaurant for a little while on Cape Cod and when we first bought it, we didn't know anything about it. You know, I just we're just like, All right, let's buy this restaurant. It looks cool. It's an old captain's house on Cape Cod, you know, kind of a cool thing. This'll be fun. And it was really difficult from an employee perspective. And, you know, a bunch of people, you know, it's very transient in terms of just employees and stuff. And so there was one time early on, summertime, Cape Cod, like a Saturday, and I think it's raining outside, so everybody goes to restaurants. My wife and I are the only ones in the kitchen. We don't know what the hell we're doing. And tickets are coming through. And we're just, you know, it's crazy. Tickets are piling up. And my wife's like, She looks at me like in tears and she's like, I just can't do it. And I just, I took her by the shoulders and I said, the only, only thing we can do right now is put our heads down, get through that pile of tickets, be done with the day at some point, and then we'll move on. And there is so much to be said for just putting my head down and doing the work. I don't have to plan how everything's gonna go. All I have to do, and this is this is really important. It's gonna sound weird, but all I need to do is put my head down and do what's in front of me to be done. And and that's a really p important way to go about this whole thing called business. Because I can make up problems, you know, I can make up, I gotta do this or I gotta do that. Meanwhile, I'm leaving the thing that's right in front of me undone. And And that's crucial. And and you'll recognize that now that I've said it, but but that's something that's helped me a lot. speaker-1: For sure. It's so easy to invent problems that don't really exist to avoid doing the thing that you know you need to do. And I'm guilty of that on like a weekly basis. Like I find all of these like new ideas, these new things, like, I could spend time working on that. I could spend time, you know, planning this certain X, Y, and Z thing, just to avoid doing the that I know I need to do, like the work that's there on my desk. And it reminded me of an idea from Charlie Bunger, who's the co founder of Berkshire Hathaway with Warren Buffett. kind of the un unsung hero who's gotten more praise over the last few years, but Charlie Munger's the man looking to his work. But one of the great ideas that sticks with me and I write it down occasionally, like the greatest source of new opportunities, and this is applicable to sales, to life, to business, the greatest source of new opportunities, and he's talking about this in his law firm back in the day, is the the work that's on your desk. Just do the work that's on your desk. Do the work that's in front of you. And if you do that to the best of your ability, all the new opportunities will be unlocked and come from that. And that was something that I really had to remind myself of a couple of weeks ago. And I'm like, you know, almost stressing a little bit about like, okay, where's the next opportunity going to come from? Where's the next league going to come from? And it's like I have all these active clients and these active projects that I'm working on right now. It's just focus on doing that to the best of my ability and new opportunities will come from that. Like the greatest source of new business is the work that's sitting there on your desk. And I think that's like, tangential to the idea that you were bringing up because at the end of the day, just cutting straight through to the point, it's just put your head down and do the thing that you know you need to do, right? We don't need, you know, obviously I love everybody listening to the podcast, spending some time with us here today. I think there's it's important to spend time doing things like this to learn more information. But I guarantee every single person listening to this right now, and you and me, I bet, it's like there are things that we know we know what we need to do. Right. You just got to put your fing head down and do it. And that's me talking to myself in the mirror, talking to myself when I'm watching this in three days. just you know what you need to do, just go do it right now. But I think one of the ideas, one of the things that you mentioned that I'd love to go back and dig into a little bit more is you talked about the idea that this resonated with me. It's like there are changes, there are lessons to be learned that you're almost avoiding, right? You're just kind of like deflecting, you're like, no, I don't want to go into I don't want to go to that that place right now. I don't want to, you know, go to that painful. moment where I have to learn that lesson. For you, and you can kind of like just avoid it for a while. For you and your story, what do you think like one of those lessons that you almost avoided learning for a long time was? speaker-0: You know, in sales, I was I was a pretty motivated guy. And in business, I was a I was a a pretty motivated guy. When I when I relied on motivation, which, you know, when you're younger, I think motivation is something that comes in very handy until you develop all of your your habits and and the things that, you know, are your disciplines. But you know, probably the most difficult thing for me was letting go of Toxins in my life. And that could be people, it could be places, it could be situations. And it goes back to the earlier part of our discussion, Ian, because I'm responsible for narrowing that road. And I'm responsible for narrowing my scope. And as long as I'm screwing around with toxic things in my life, we all know what the toxic things are. It's just a matter of are we going to jettison them? Are we going to be honest enough with ourselves and do the difficult work of jettisoning whatever that is? And maybe it's too much social media. Maybe I'm I need too much attention. Maybe I'm too interested in my comfort. Maybe I'm maybe it's food. Maybe it's alcohol. Maybe it's weed. Who the hell knows what it is? But there are toxins in your life that you can get rid of and you know you need to get rid of, and and I'm speaking for me because I've done all of it. I've made every mistake. Until I get rid of those things, I'm going to keep running into that roadblock. And I'm going to keep hitting that roadblock. So I have to narrow my scope. And I think that's I hope that answers your question. But that's a that's a very crucial one. Get rid of the toxins. speaker-1: Right. Yeah. And I think it's the ability to kind of know what the toxins are and like recognize that, hey, I'm the one that's in control. I'm bringing these toxins into my life. Again, whether it's the people that I surround myself with, it's the actual, you know, toxic things that I'm putting into my body that make me feel like sh the next day. It's the toxic way I'm spending my time. Right. It's just it's almost like the this is another idea that just sparked in my mind that I remember from all the other things that I've consumed where it's You know, this process of improvement or this process of discipline is more oftentimes a removal process than it is adding new things. Right. It's more oftentimes just the removal of those toxic things than it ever is of, you know, adding new things, adding new routines. Usually you start and you can make a lot of progress just by removing those negative things that you're doing repeatedly, or those toxins. speaker-0: Hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, that is that is that's a lifelong journey. And I have found for me that part of that journey, and and it's sad to say, but it has included family members where I just I cannot be in that situation anymore. I can't put up with that behavior anymore. And you know, there's this this thing people talk about boundaries now, but the boundaries really mean You teach people how to treat you and that's incredibly crucial to having a successful life in business, in sales and personally. speaker-1: Yeah. And when I hear you say that, it almost makes me like kind of uncomfortable because there are definitely people that I can think of that I know I need to kind of set that boundary with. But that kind of conversation, I would imagine, would just be like so uncomfortable. But it's like there's almost something that needs to happen where it's like I need to step up and stand up for myself, right? Like I need to stop just like kind of submitting and like avoiding maybe that hard conversation that needs to happen in order for the thing that's best for me to happen and take place. So there's probably something to be said about the idea that like, okay, first order of business, if you're gonna make these kinds of changes in your life, is you need to start standing up for your f self, right? And like start putting yourself first, right? And not worrying about the ideas, the thoughts, the opinions of like what other people and again, that's all stuff that I'm sure we've all heard, but I think this idea of like standing up for yourself is hitting me harder than it really ever has. It's like I need to stand up for myself in that moment and just like put up this boundary and just say the thing that needs to be said or do the thing that needs to be done, whether it hurts the opinion of me in other people's eyes or not. speaker-0: There's this old saying that I rely on, it's from Shakespeare, and it's to thine own self be true, which probably we've all heard. But the rest of that saying is, and I'll do the whole thing, this above all, to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night, the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. So if I'm being true to me and I'm doing the right things for me in my life. Then I'm not I'm not being untrue to you. I'm also being true to you by doing that. Because if I have a toxic relationship or a stale relationship or, you know, a destructive relationship, whatever that is, and I allow that t to continue, I'm not only being untrue to me, but I'm also being untrue to that other person. Even though the situations are difficult and they're difficult to have the conversations and all that kind of thing. It's really important to think about what you're doing to the other person as well as to yourself. You're not allowing them to be free either. speaker-1: Yeah. Right. Because as much as other people are influencing us, we are influencing the other people that we're around. Right. So by kind of perpetuating that behavior, we are influencing them and, you know, keeping them in the same place. And then it's also, yeah, we're almost robbing them of their experience, their relationship with the version of ourselves to when we're being true to ourselves, right? To when we're living that saying of you know, to thine own self be true. We're robbing them of that experience and that relationship with that version of ourselves, which is a really interesting idea. I like that kind of flipping on its head. Another point that you made a few minutes ago was this idea that like you've made all the mistakes, right? You've made all the mistakes to learn these lessons. And this is an idea that I haven't really quite articulated as well as I would like, but it feels like that's the common thread. It's almost like you have to make the mistakes to learn the lessons. Right. Obviously, like you can try and read the books, listen to podcasts like this, where other people kind of share the things that they've learned. But it almost feels like it needs to resonate on such a deep level to where you're connecting to a personal mistake in order to really truly learn the lesson and make that change. Because change is so hard. Like it almost needs to be visceral. It needs to be true. It needs to be deep. Like you need to kind of go to the dark place to kind of find the the lesson that to pull from it. But like What do you think about that idea? Like, do you think you have to make the mistake in order to learn from the mistakes of it? Like, what do you think about that? Like, can we really learn or like how could we do that? speaker-0: What comes to comes to mind, Ian, is everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. And I think that's a really crucial sort of way to illustrate this point. My mentors in my life have always been, you know, some significantly older than me because they can kind of shine a light and say, You know, look, here's what I did, and this is what happened. Here's what I did, and this is what happened. Here's what I did, and this is what and this is what happened. So I don't listen to them to think that I learned the lesson. I listen to them so that I can recognize when I'm in the midst of one of those situations where maybe there's a lesson to learn, or maybe some there's something different I need to do. So nobody's gonna learn my lessons for me, nobody's gonna be successful for me, nobody's gonna take the hits for me, nobody's gonna die for me, you know. That's if I wanna go to heaven, I gotta do the dying. And so having mentors and coaches, and I can't emphasize enough how important experience is to just kind of shine a flashlight and say, you know what, pay attention for when this happens, pay attention for when this happens. And And that's really all that means. speaker-1: Right. Yeah, and they can kind of like help you to put the focus in the right place. It's like pay attention for when this happens, then also just focus on getting these things right. Because it's also super if you're just out there on your own, kind of wandering in the abyss for one reason or the other, maybe you haven't like reached out to somebody to kind of serve and like ask the advice from that person, or maybe you like myself, right? And this is still something that I'm working on is the idea of you know, it's easy sometimes to think like I Have it all figured out, right? Especially in youth, right? You talked about the motivation that comes from youth, but it's also the the hubris that can come from youth. The idea that you have it all figured out and you don't need to ask for help, right? So whatever. And any in the reason when you're out in that place, when you're out by yourself and you're trying to figure it out, it's really easy to just have scattered focus and focus on all the wrong things. And just like so having that experience, having that kind of mentor, one will help you to look out for the things you need to look out for, and then also just focus on the things that really matter. So another thing that I've struggled with in this personal development or this business building journey of like, you know, trying to stay on that course and walk the right path, I guess, is you know, like this idea of like self flagellation, right? This idea of like just getting so down on myself and just beating myself to hell. So like how have you found an ability to hold yourself accountable without just, you know, kicking the shit out of yourself all the time? speaker-0: Yeah, there's there's a chapter in my first book. It's called The Kicking Machine. And it's about kicking your own ass. You know, you you you do something wrong, you click on the machine and you're just getting your ass kicked. And and so obviously I've had a significant amount of experience in that regard. And the other thing that you just mentioned, which made me chuckle a little bit when I was taking the drinking the water, was, you know, when you talked about the hubris and the, you know, hey, I know what's going on and I got this I got this licked and all that sort of stuff. And then you find out that you don't. I'm a big believer, Ian, that that this life is meant. I'm going through it to teach me humility. And I don't mean humiliation. I mean humility, which can also be another definition I use for humility is teachability. I become teachable. The more humble that I am, and the more that I'm willing to listen, and the more that I'm willing to say, I don't know. And it's really difficult. It was very difficult for me when I was younger to say, I don't know. I just, I don't. I don't have the answer. I I and I've sat in clo in front of clients, you know, many, many years ago, and I tried to bullshit them and like, you know, and they're like, get out of here, you know. And There's a lot of respect that comes, especially with, you know, people who are a little more seasoned or people who you might be selling to, if you say, I don't know. And it's really important to say to ourselves many times, I don't know. So I hope that answers the question. I I, you know, I think that there's it's difficult to turn off the ass kicking machine. If I was going to give some advice on turning off the kick machine. Kicking machine, it would probably be something like you can't sit around letting this thing just whirl all the time. You have to figure out ways to address that. And that comes with some of the habits that you create for yourself, you know, and and I've, you know, I don't drink or do drugs or anything like that, but I used to. And and so can I imagine? Going out and and drinking or over drinking or doing drugs or whatever, going into a meeting the next day, getting my ass handed to me, somebody kicking me out, and then just being like, my God, I suck, you know? So so how we conduct ourselves and you know, when you're young, you gotta do stuff. You gotta have fun, you gotta like figure it out. And I and I'm believe me, I'm down with that. Like, go do it. But you will find that it will hamper you. And you'll find that that it's easier when you feel like and you're tired to kick your own. And so you gotta learn the strategies to not kick your own. And one of those is, quite honestly, get back up and start making calls or help somebody else who's having a problem. If you help somebody else, it takes you out of here, takes you out of your own problem. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. Just put the focus on something else external. I mean you put the brain, which is a problem solving machine, put it on a problem. It can start it can help to take the focus out of up here and to something out there and just be more productive for sure. and I love that what you said about the idea that, you know, we're here in this life to learn humility, right? To become teachable. And Yeah, we'll just keep getting beaten down, right? Hubris will take us wherever it go wherever it wants to take us into you know, right off cliffs into places that we don't belong, until we finally do learn that lesson of humility, which yeah, I mean how you describe the benefit of humility, I think, was right on the money where it just allows you to listen, right? Just listen to other people, right? Listen to the things that other people are saying and talking about a In sales, right, that's the most important thing that to do, right? The whole two two ears, one mouth kind of idea of just just listen, just shut up and listen to the things that are being told to you. And yeah, I think that's well said. Is there anything else that you would add to the idea of like why is it preferential to operate from that place of more humility? speaker-0: It takes and it's gonna sound a little paradoxical, I think, but it takes a lot of the pressure off. I know a lot of people who know everything. Their lives are not fun. And so, and I know a lot of people who don't know a damn thing, and they are wealthy and they're having fun. And seriously, and I and I mean that in all sincerity, the more I can take the pressure off of myself if I understand that. There is just so much that I don't know. And and you know, at this point in my life, I'm just like, feed me, teach me, show me. You know, I wanna know. And I've done a lot of stuff and I've had a lot of success, but I just want to know more. And it's really cool to go into life with that sort of an attitude, like as opposed to, I have the answer, I have the answer, I have the answer. No, you don't. Because if you had the answer, you wouldn't be saying that you have the answer. So Anyway, I'll just I'll leave that there. I'm a little passionate about that one. speaker-1: Yeah. I love that. I mean, I think the idea of like it made me think about the idea that humility is gonna be what allows you to work with other people, right? Which is what's required for you to get anywhere worthwhile, right? Is you know, the again another saying of if you wanna go fast, go alone, if you wanna go far, go together, right? So humility is gonna give you the opportunity to lean on other people, take help from other people. How nice does that sound, right? Get some help, right? 'Cause I've Done the the version of this where I try and just do it on my own. I try and be the one that has all the answers for one reason or the other, where it's like I couldn't just get out of my own way in a sense, I guess, where it's just like it it almost felt like I've built up this expectation for myself to have all the answers. And it's like if I didn't, then it's just like I'm failing. Like it it's gonna be embarrassing. It's like, they'll think less of me if I if I don't have the answer, right? So it's just getting over that and being able to admit when you don't know. And being able to admit that you don't have all the answers is like the first thing to allow yourself to get help from other people, whether that's people on your team or, you know, other people that you're just collaborating with on a thing. Yeah, humility is is something worth emphasizing more for sure. Daryl, the final thing that I'd love to explore with you is going back to that first question again, you made the point that the that the why, right? The why is the bus driver. And we've had several conversations here where, you know, we've t talked about the idea of purpose and finding fulfillment and creating alignment in your life so that you're striving towards something that you just deeply care about, like your your why, right? Like as as you called it. So I think if you are open to it, if you could like share like what is your why at this point, at this stage of your life, like what is your why? And then maybe in us hearing that, we'll be able to kind of identify okay, that's what a why looks like, and then maybe find ours. speaker-0: Yeah, no, that's a that's a great question, Ian, and thank you for asking it. Cause my why right now is because I've had so many wonderful mentors and experiences and wonderful people in and out of my life and and my circle today is very, very small. But my why is to help teach as many people as I possibly can. until the you know, my time on this planet, riding around on this rock, is over. And and that's it. And I feel like with everything that has gone on in my life, I would be doing people a disservice if I did not get out there and write the books and teach and do the podcasts and do all those things. That's really what it is at this point. All the other stuff honestly has been taken care of. the money stuff and the vacation stuff and all that kind of stuff. Like I don't care. I care about helping people. So that's why I do what I do. speaker-1: Amazing. Thank you for that. And I think that point that you made about you've built up this life experience that you'd almost be doing the world a disservice if you weren't doing everything you could to share that and pour into other people. I think that goes for everybody. I think everybody has a unique contribution to make to the world. And by not doing the things that are that are required out of each individual, like by me not doing the things that are required to make the best version of me. I'm doing a disservice to the world by not helping to bring that to the world. And that's not just me, but I think that's every single person listening, every single person that's here has that unique contribution to make to the world. And you're doing the world a disservice by not bringing that unique gift to us, right? And sharing that unique gift with us. So I think that's that's a beautiful place to to to end our conversation here today. I do have one final question for you. It's a recurring question that I ask every guest. But before we get to that, Daryl, how can people find you? speaker-0: The best place to find me is on my website, which is Daryl Dittmer dot com. It's right down there below, my name dot com. And it has my books and coaching and training. It's got a a a webinar, sales training webinar that's free if you want to check that out. speaker-1: Yeah, if if there's anything he missed, you can see it on the web at his website, Darrell Dittmer.com. We'll have that linked in the description. So if anything that we've talked about today resonated with you, you want to have a one-on-one conversation that I was lucky to have well with Daryl today, go check out his website and you can explore everything that he offers there. There's a lot. And the the copy on the website will hit you right away too. You did a great job with that. But Daryl, thank you again so much for the time. My final question for you is a recurring question that I ask every guest. But Daryl, if you had a giant billboard that everyone in the world could see for ten seconds with like one message to the world, what would it say and why? speaker-0: It would say it's an old Polynesian saying, but you are standing on a whale fishing for minnows. And I believe that one hundred percent about everybody on this planet, they have so much more inside them to give to themselves and like we just talked about, to give to the world. Most people don't realize it. And if there's a way that I can help them realize it on that billboard. You're standing on a whale fishing for minnows. that's the message, powerful message. Yeah. speaker-1: You're standing on a whale fishing for minnows. And I think that's so well said because the first thing that needs to happen in order for you, and this is something that I'm learning very recently, even though I've read so many books and had all these podcasts, right? It's just it's some at the right point in time in life, I think this lesson will find you is the idea that the first step in making that contribution, bringing that gift to the world that is within you, is the belief that you have it there, right? Is the belief and the understanding, the recognition that it's there within you. and I think that saying sums that up very well. So Daryl, thank you so much for the time. speaker-0: Ian, thank you. I appreciate it. Great talk. speaker-1: Thank you for listening. My main takeaway from my conversation with Daryl is that a lot of growth is subtraction. Right. It's removing the things that deteriorate your energy, kind of get you off course. Like I feel like I definitely know there are a few things for me that I need to remove, right? And like that will help me to stay on a better track and to grow. Like, for example, just staying up late. Like I just do not have a good routine of going to bed at the same time. So just like removing that bad habit or removing that is one of the easier ways for me to grow. Right. And there's a lot of other examples and areas in my own life where oftentimes I tend to think that growth comes from adding all of these new things, developing new habits, learning new skills, you know, new, new, new, new, new. But at the end of the day, I feel like a lot of growth can just come from removing. And I feel like removing those things is what opens up the opportunity and opens up the space and time and energy to add new things. Like you can't just continue to add, add, add, add, add. We only have so much time, so much energy. Before we even worry about adding, I think we need to focus on removing. So thank you for that, Daryl. If you want to get connected with Daryl yourself, you can find his links to this in the description of this episode. he's got a few books and he's got an incredible website with a lot of great content and resources there. So be sure to check that out. And if you're on a coaching program course or mastermind and you want more of your clients to actually follow through on what you teach, I put a free resource in the description to help you build more execution support in your program and help your clients and readers to get better results. Thank you for listening, and I'll see you all in the next one.