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I Lost Thousands in Bad Relationships. Rebuilding My Finances Changed Everything. · She's On The Money

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  Speaker 1: My name is Satasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
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  Speaker 1: woman and I'm here to acknowledge country te glennyan Ganya,
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  Speaker 1: nianar Kaka yah y and Binahaka nian Our gay In, Nimbini,
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  Speaker 1: yakarum Jar, Dominyamiga, Dumaga, Ihowaka, Nile, Waman damind Imlan Bumba,
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  Speaker 1: bang gadaboma In and naw In Waka Ghana and yakarrum
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  Speaker 1: Jar Watanadana. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the lands
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  Speaker 1: of the Aboriginal people. We thank acknowledge and respect the
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  Speaker 1: Abiginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take pleasure
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  Speaker 1: in all the land and respect all that you see.
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  Speaker 1: She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,
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  Speaker 1: bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
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  Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money in the
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  Speaker 2: podcast that lets you be pervy about other people's money
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  Speaker 2: stories for educational purposes of course. Welcome back to another
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  Speaker 2: one of our money diaries, brought to you by our
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  Speaker 2: friends at Skywealth, where I get the absolute privilege of
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  Speaker 2: sitting down with one of how incredible shees on the
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  Speaker 2: Money community members and talking to them all about their journey.
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  Speaker 2: Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got
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  Speaker 2: a message and it sounded exactly like this, Hi, she's
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  Speaker 2: on the money. My family migrated to Australia just after
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  Speaker 2: I finished high school and we went from living in
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  Speaker 2: an upper middle class life to starting again with much less. Money.
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  Speaker 2: Was never openly discussed in my family, especially among the women,
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  Speaker 2: so I had to learn a lot the hard way.
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  Speaker 2: After losing thousands in unhealthy relationships, I found myself single,
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  Speaker 2: back at home and starting from zero at twenty eight.
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  Speaker 2: Now at thirty six, I own and have renovated my home,
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  Speaker 2: have six times my annual income saved and invested, and
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  Speaker 2: have built a really strong superranuation fund. My husband and
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  Speaker 2: I have also navigated redundancy, a one hundred and twenty
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  Speaker 2: thousand dollars renovation, and a seventy thousand dollar wedding, and
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  Speaker 2: we are now preparing to start a family money diarist.
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  Speaker 2: Can we dive straight in, please, because like that sounds
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  Speaker 2: like a lot, like having to restart from zero at
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  Speaker 2: twenty eight and now you're thirty six, and it sounds
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  Speaker 2: like you're an absolute weapon, Like what a one eighty
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  Speaker 2: I love this for us. Yes it is.
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  Speaker 3: It's definitely a roller coaster ride on my end. And yep,
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  Speaker 3: I hope you guys are prepared for the journey today.
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  Speaker 2: All right, we're strapping in. We are strapping in. I
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  Speaker 2: am so ready before we get their money direst I
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  Speaker 2: ask this question at the start of every episode. What
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  Speaker 2: graade would you give your money habits if I asked
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  Speaker 2: you to give them a grade from A through to F.
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  Speaker 3: I think I'm still B plus There's still so much
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  Speaker 3: more to learn and so much more to do, and
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  Speaker 3: I think my money journey is still happening and still ongoing.
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  Speaker 2: So that's where I'm at. Love it all right. Now
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  Speaker 2: my favorite question, tell me a little bit more about
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  Speaker 2: your money story and the things that have impacted it.
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  Speaker 2: Oh man, well, oh, you just know it's going to
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  Speaker 2: be a good woman. And the diary starts with you
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  Speaker 2: just know. Yeah, where do I begin? All right?
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  Speaker 3: So my money story began when I would say growing up,
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  Speaker 3: you know, I would say, very very early on in
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  Speaker 3: my life, money was such a taboo topic in the family.
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  Speaker 3: It was almost like, you know, money was associated with
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  Speaker 3: you sort of being greedy, which I think that's such
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  Speaker 3: a negative connotation with money. There's definitely an over arching
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  Speaker 3: sort of like scarcy mindset. You know, there was all
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  Speaker 3: the reasons are safe, but no reasons why we're saving.
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  Speaker 2: For what we are looking after? You know what was yeah, okay, yeah?
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  Speaker 3: And then I guess what opened my eyes in the
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  Speaker 3: end when it came to money was you know, realizing
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  Speaker 3: that in my family, only my dad would pay the bills,
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  Speaker 3: he'll do the mortgage, he would do the text returns,
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  Speaker 3: and my mom didn't, even though she was working full
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  Speaker 3: time herself, didn't know anything about you know, to the
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  Speaker 3: day she retired. I don't think she even did her
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  Speaker 3: own text return ever.
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  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, but that's so relatable, right, Like I
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  Speaker 2: think that lots of us listening right now have parents
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  Speaker 2: that are in the same situation. And it's not necessarily
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  Speaker 2: a bad thing, but just the way that the world was.
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  Speaker 2: But there's just so much lacking from that, right, Like,
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  Speaker 2: imagine the power your mom could have had.
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  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I think that, you know, if my mom
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  Speaker 3: had the same like, you know, understanding as my dad
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  Speaker 3: when it comes to money, I think they would have
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  Speaker 3: been a powerhouse together as a couple, you know, much
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  Speaker 3: much more.
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  Speaker 2: My mom.
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  Speaker 3: She definitely always strived for the better of the family,
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  Speaker 3: even though she didn't play a big hand when it
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  Speaker 3: comes to money. But she was the one or she
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  Speaker 3: was the reason that we actually migrated to Australia. And
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  Speaker 3: even though we never spoke about money, all we knew
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  Speaker 3: is saving growing up. I think my earliest week up
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  Speaker 3: call when it came to money was actually coming to Australia,
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  Speaker 3: because it can almost imagine, you know, we went from
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  Speaker 3: a two income household down to a income household. We
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  Speaker 3: used to have a domestic helper back home.
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  Speaker 2: Where did you migrate from? To give a little bit
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  Speaker 2: more context, from Malaysia. We were from Malaysia, gorgeous but
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  Speaker 2: also culturally so different.
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  Speaker 3: So different, I can tell you that. And we went
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  Speaker 3: from you know, having owning two cars coming to Australia
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  Speaker 3: because of currency exchange, my mom being disoberate when of
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  Speaker 3: the family life just had a one eighty change altogether suddenly,
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  Speaker 3: and because we don't speak about money, you know, but
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  Speaker 3: the signs was obvious, you know, like we went from
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  Speaker 3: two cars to one car suddenly. We were shopping homebrand
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  Speaker 3: from Coals and Wooli's, So that was a bit of
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  Speaker 3: a shock. For me when I came to Australia and
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  Speaker 3: because you know, you just read the signs but you
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  Speaker 3: can't talk about it, you know, there was this weird
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  Speaker 3: I think I had this like paranoid that there was
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  Speaker 3: no more money left or we were going brooke. And
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  Speaker 3: I remember in my first two years of coming to
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  Speaker 3: Australia and.
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  Speaker 2: Studying at that time.
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  Speaker 3: I'm not sure that I can even say this on
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  Speaker 3: a podcast, but I was actually like I would go
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  Speaker 3: to the Red Cross donate blood and actually have a
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  Speaker 3: free lunch because genius.
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  Speaker 2: Honestly, yeah, because I.
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  Speaker 3: Was like, how can I save everything I have or
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  Speaker 3: my my you know, my allowances for the week as
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  Speaker 3: much as I can because I didn't know what.
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  Speaker 2: Was going on. Yeah, I mean you know what, lots
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  Speaker 2: of people win out of that, so like that's a
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  Speaker 2: money win, but also like more blood needs to be donated,
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  Speaker 2: so if that's what you're getting, like pop off Queen,
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  Speaker 2: I love that.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think that habit stayed even till now.
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  Speaker 3: I'm still regular blood donate as a result of.
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  Speaker 2: That, so I'm not allowed to donate blood anymore. But
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  Speaker 2: when I did donate blood, I was there for that
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  Speaker 2: and I think they have them at every donation center.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: The Nippies hot chocolate. Yes, that's what I'm there for.
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  Speaker 2: I'm there for the Nippies. Oh yeah. Definitely.
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  Speaker 3: After that we graduated, I was I'm not gonna lie.
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  Speaker 3: During UNI, I was very creative when it came to like,
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  Speaker 3: you know, sort of trying to earn like little bits
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  Speaker 3: of like ink here and then amongst the whole university
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  Speaker 3: schedule that was quite hectic. But because of our visa restrictions,
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  Speaker 3: we were not really the ideal candidates for people to
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  Speaker 3: hire us, just because of you know, the hours that
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  Speaker 3: we could work, what jobs we could do. So as
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: a result of that, I did very odd jobs. I
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  Speaker 3: was like a candle hand, so I was cleaning dog
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  Speaker 3: cannels in a boarding facility in UNI. I was actually
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  Speaker 3: a kitchen hand, so washing dishes on UNI. And I
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  Speaker 3: even dropped like the little like males, you know, the
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  Speaker 3: junk meals and everyone's posting.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, so at six o'clock in the morning.
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  Speaker 3: It almost became a family affair because my dad would
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  Speaker 3: come with me too and would be dropping.
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  Speaker 2: But also, you're a hustler. I love these, Yes, I
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  Speaker 2: think I was.
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  Speaker 3: I was very creative with you know what I had
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  Speaker 3: with me at that time, and then I would say that,
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  Speaker 3: you know, sort of my money story sort of shaped
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  Speaker 3: and developed as I graduated and I started working because
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  Speaker 3: like for me doing all these like random odd jobs,
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  Speaker 3: by the time I graduated and started my first job,
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  Speaker 3: even for what I earned anything at that time, it
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  Speaker 3: felt like a large amount and I suddenly felt like,
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  Speaker 3: oh my god. And I think that's when I started
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  Speaker 3: my first job. When I was earning at that time
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  Speaker 3: forty one grand a year, I felt like a millionaire.
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  Speaker 3: I didn't realize forty one grand in the middle of Sydney.
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  Speaker 3: It was pittance at that time, especially when it comes
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  Speaker 3: to rant because of living. I think it was a
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  Speaker 3: bit of an eye opener for me. And what happened
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  Speaker 3: shortly after that was, yeah, I'm just thinking about my
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  Speaker 3: money story because the next stage from when I started
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  Speaker 3: working was in my first relationship. So you know how
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  Speaker 3: in culturally the whole idea is like study hard, put
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  Speaker 3: your head down. But once you graduate, where's the boyfriend,
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  Speaker 3: where's the husband? Why are we not married?
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  Speaker 2: I've got a Malaysian friend and her parents, like they
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  Speaker 2: still live in Malaysia and she's over here and I
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  Speaker 2: swear every time she talked to her parents, they're like,
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  Speaker 2: you've got boyfriend. Two seconds and she's like, mom, I
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  Speaker 2: was just calling to let you know, and her mom's like,
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  Speaker 2: no boyfriend, no talk exactly.
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  Speaker 3: I just need to know exactly. And it's so funny, like,
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  Speaker 3: you know, growing up, it was all about the studies.
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  Speaker 3: But as soon as I graduated and got.
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  Speaker 2: A job, yet no talking to boys. But then once
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  Speaker 2: you've got your degree, Hey, so where are the boyfriends? Exactly?
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  Speaker 2: How did you expect me to have boyfriends when you
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  Speaker 2: told me I wasn't allowed to talk to them?
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  Speaker 3: I know, and obviously, you know, starting so much later
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: in life, you know, when it comes to dating, Oh
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  Speaker 3: my god, I'm in to this day. Even my sister
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  Speaker 3: agrees that, you know, I really know how to pick them.
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  Speaker 3: My first friend, oh gosh, never go on Tinder. I
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: mean look, I mean, look, I cannot complain because I've
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: heard amazing Tinder stories and you know, successful ones.
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  Speaker 2: You were just un lucky.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I probably scraped the bottom of the barrel for
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  Speaker 3: this one. When it came to dating.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, maybe I should thank you because I met
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  Speaker 2: my husband on there, and I do not Levi's great
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: to the bottom of the barrel. But you know someone
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: had to do it, Yes, and you did that for us,
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: So I think that that's brought you and eye closer. Yeah.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, my first guy, I would say, he was such
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: a gadget that it was almost like a daily ritual gaslighting,
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: like manipulation, emotional blackmail. Like it got to a point where, like,
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: you know, I like the control. Like you know, initially
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: it was all I would say, rainbows and sunshine is
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: the first month. You know, they love bombing you so
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: hard you feel like, yes, this is the one, and
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: then suddenly, out of the blue, this, oh why did
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: you do that? That's so inconsiderate of you, Like, you know,
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  Speaker 3: it begins as simple.
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  Speaker 2: As that, and then you're like, oh my god, I'm
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  Speaker 2: so sorry. I didn't realize.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I must be the selfish one. And then it
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: got to the point where because I was working and
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: he was still studying, and he was studying to be
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: a I don't even know with whatever happened to him,
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: but he was studying to be a lawyer. And he
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: mentioned to me that, oh, because I'm studying as a student,
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: dating you has set me back financially because I'm paying
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: then Nope, definitely not. And I didn't see it at
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: that time. I was like, Oh, this is how relationships are.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: This is my very first one. This must be normal.
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  Speaker 2: Oh honey. No, Like I want to pick you up
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: and hug you and be like no, honey, that's not
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  Speaker 2: what we're doing.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: No.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: And then it got to a point.
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  Speaker 3: Where it was almost like, you're very selfish because I'm
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: paying all this money for our dates. This is how
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: much I've spent, and for me, it just did not
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: like the math was not mathing. I was like, I
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: just don't understand. And when I come to realize that
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: this is not what the real relationship it was actually
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: because it even got to a point where I couldn't
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: even go to the shops. I couldn't even go to
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: HNM without his permission or without him accompanying me, and
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: I knew that was weird. That's when I drew the line.
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  Speaker 3: I was like, I've seen so many girls run to
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: the shops alone and they're not selfish.
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  Speaker 2: This is not normal. No, no, and we need to
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: call that exactly what it is. My friend. That was
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: financial abuse, and I think when you're in it you
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: don't realize because so many times financial abuse is wrapped
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: up in gas lighting behavior, where it's reframed to go,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to help you here, and they're not trying
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: to help you, but they'll say that. They'll say, well,
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: you're really bad at this. You can't manage money, I'll
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: do that for you. You can't, you're not trustworthy, you
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: can't go out on your own, and then that external
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: narrative at the start you start going, wow, I didn't
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: even realize, like I lack self awareness, You don't, you're
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: being gas lit. But over time, that external narrative becomes
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: your internal monologue, and that's when that internal voice that
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: you've got goes. I am pretty selfish. I'm not thinking
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: about him. Oh, that's really awful.
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  Speaker 1: That is not it.
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  Speaker 2: You are abused, You are being manipulated. And it makes
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: me so mad because the way that it's wrapped means
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: that so many women can't see what's actually happening, even
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: though it's right in front of their faces. Like you
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: and I could see it from the outside because we
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: want to jump up and down and scream and shout,
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: but when you're in it, you just go ah. Of course,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: I can't go to H and M by myself. But
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: I'm so glad you thought, hold on, other women go
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: to H and M and they're not selfish. I'm glad
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: your internal monologue was tapping on your shoulder, being like
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: money direst the s ain't right. This is not good. Oh.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: And what's crazy is that I only found out later
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: on after when I left that relationship, is that the
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: statistics is that normally women will attempt, you know, to
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: leave the relationship seven times before they're successful in that relationship.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: Across six months, it was six times. It was a
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: sixth time I was able to leave, and that was
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: when sorry, he was picking on everything he has spent
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: in the relationship. And what I did was I sat down,
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: I did the math, and so happened. My first text
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: returned from my very first job, came in and every
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: cent went to him. And that was the wake up call.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: I was like, I'm paying you back every cent that
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: you say that I owe you, and I'm walking and
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: I owe you nothing.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: Oh good girl. But also you owe him nothing. I
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: know nothing. But at the same time, that was the
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: cost of getting out peacefully exactly. And you know, I
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: walked away.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: That was the strongest, Like I would say, stance that
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: got me out of that.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I'm so proud of you. Oh well, you haven't heard
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: the end of the story. I'm ready, I'm stretched. You
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: did say strapped in, so come on.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: I feel like everyone that's in my family was probably
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: strapped in because this was the first one.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: Second one. Oh you did it again?
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: Oh no, no, I wouldn't say the second guy, but
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: the second guy, I was like, Oh, he's a sweetheart.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: There was no gas lighting, sweet as pie. And then
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: I was like, okay, so you know what do you do?
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: What do you work?
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: And it was only six months in the relationship I
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: found out he's been unemployed for two years?
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: How I have?
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: And and then it only struck me. I was like, oh,
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: that's why he always cooks eggs and we always ate
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: eggs with barbecue. Maybe because I came from relationship number
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: one thinking that that was the bare minimum and for me,
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: just cooking eggs and eating it for every almost every meal,
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: I thought that was the sweetest thing.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: Top it. I love you so much. I think that
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: you are so sweet, but I want to shake you
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: a little bit and be like, babe, what I don't know.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: And funny enough, it was me who sort of convinced
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: him to actually get a job into State. And that's
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: how the relationship, like we sort of ended the.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: You shipped him off literally, you said, bye, I got
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: your job, but I'm sending you into State. And this
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: is a good girl. So I need to know more.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I need how did this man? Was he pretending to
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: be employed? So yeah?
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: He I when I spoke to him, he was like, oh, yeah,
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: I'm a photographer and I was like okay. And I
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: never knew. For the six months that we were dating,
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: every time he would pack his camera equipment, he would
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: just go to the library or something like that and
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: just like stay out for the day and then come back.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah, I know, what's the point? Like why lie
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: about that exactly?
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: And now when I think back about it, like now
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: that I'm much older, I actually I almost feel a
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: bit of empathy, you know, sympathy for him. I was like, Oh,
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: he feels like he needed to sort of like, you know,
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: live this lie because I think maybe in his past relationships,
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: you know, he was pulled up for it, you know,
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: and instead, like you know, when he finally confessed to
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: me that he was, you know, unemployed for two years.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: You know, the first thing that came to my mind
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: is like, how can I get you a job? Where
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: can I get your job?
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah? And that's it, right, Like you went to immediately, oh, okay,
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: well how do I help you?
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: Not?
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: What the hell? Like I can't believe it. I just
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: that's really sad as well, yeah it is.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: And you know, in the end, like the reason the
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: relationship did not work in the end when he moved
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: into state with his job was because he had this
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: like constant need of like, oh, I have to come
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: back to Sydney, and I said, no, no, just focus
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: on building you. We can always catch up. And eventually
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: we decided that it's probably best that we went our
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: separate ways so at least he can focus on his
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: job in a different state. Built him and I wish
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: him well, Like this is one relationship that I was like,
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: he was the sweetest guy in the toughest second Stanzas
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: And that's how you know the relationships are so I mean,
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: obviously I'm having a very interesting track record going on
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: here from one to the other.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Mary, how to pick him? I mean, I don't know
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: if I could trust someone who would lie to me
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: for two years like that? But you're not in that relationship,
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: so it doesn't matter who did you meet? Then? Who's next?
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: Did we meet our husband? No? Husband came a little
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: bit more later.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: Okay, So the third guy, which was after this, it
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: was I would say the longest relationship I've been before
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: I met Hobby. So this was the one where we
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: were dating for ten months and after Blue he is like,
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: I am moving into state.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: Do you want to come with me?
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: Like ten months into the relationship and me being you know,
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: maybe there was something about in my mind, I was like,
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: you know what, I'm just going to go for it.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: I'm just going to go with this relationship made the
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: wind blow and see where it is because in my
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: mind I was thinking, you know what, maybe it's about
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: time I put a bit more effort. And maybe because
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: he seemed to be you know, he has a job,
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: he's working his direction, you know, maybe this is it.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: So I moved into state ten months in and he
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: turns around and decides that he wants to be a student.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: And oh but this was the toughest relationship because there
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: was nothing wrong. We were making the relationship work. But
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: what happened was when he was a full time student
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: and you know, he wasn't earning an income and I
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: was the solebrate winner and the relationship paying the bills,
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: the rent or like you know, furniture or whatever that
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: we need. He started feeling a bit insecure. And when
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: I started trying to sort of like better myself by
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: doing you know, sort of post sort of graduate studies
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: to you know, advance in my career, there was a
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: lot of pushback, a lot of pushback. He was like
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: saying things like, oh, you're never at home, but you
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: know it's a sacrifice, you know. I could see he
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: was studying to make things better for us, for our future,
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: and I wanted to do the same as well. But
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: he was like saying, you're never at home. You're always working,
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: you're always studying. And I was like, well, I'm the
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: so great winner.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: What did you want from me? Like, yeah, I'm never
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: at home. That's the point, so that you can be.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: It got to a point where I think the tipping
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: skills was when I sort of committed to doing this
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: post grad study because I knew it would put us
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: ahead financially as a couple, you know, as my career
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: as well.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: It got to a point where he would even ask me,
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: did you study today? And I would sometimes go, oh, no,
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: I went shopping. I was like, I can'd live this lie.
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: He was happier that I was actually shopping than studying.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Oh wait, you were lying about shopping.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: Yes, I mean I would go out to the shops
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: and I went to the library to study. This as
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: how I sneaked out. And you know, it all came
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: crashing down when I realized that, Okay, I've been in
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: this relationship for too long. It was two and a
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: half years now, and I was like, maybe this is
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: not the one. Because I went for my friend's wedding
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: back in Malaysia, and I saw how my best friend
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: getting married, how their interactions was one another, and it
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: just dawn on me and I was like, I don't
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: think my friend ever lied to her husband saying that
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: she's going to shop when she actually wants to secretly
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: study to better herself.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: There's no way, oh my honey, No, No, that is
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: not love.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: No. And when I came back, my family at that
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: time was visiting Malaysia, so they were called my parents
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: because he went back to visit his family back in Sydney.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: We were staying in Queensland at that time, and I
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: called my parents that was back in Malaysia. I was like, Mom, Dad,
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: I'm breaking up.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: And I think my mom had a meltdown or was
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: she not happy with that? Oh she was not happy.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: I think she was like, oh my god, she's going
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: to die a single woman.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: This is it. She should be so lucky sometimes.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: And I remember, I don't think my parents remembered that moment,
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: but when my mom was, you know, obviously so upset
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: from hearing the news, my dad picked up the phone
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: and I said, Dad, I need to move back home.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: I need to move back home.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: But you know, we have shad furniture, we have shared expenses.
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: I've just paid the rent for the next six months.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's so much money that.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: We have to get back.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: And I think my dad one of is like I
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: would say, golden moments in my life and I'll never
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: forget the words. He picked up the phone and he
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: was like, don't worry, just go home, just move your
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: stuff home. Money can always be inn whereas your dignity,
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: you're just got to take it and walk away.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: I love him. Dad is a girl's girl, like oh,
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: and like it sounds terrible, right, but it should be
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: that simple, like it should always be that simple, and
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: I know it's not, but I just I'm so glad
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: that your dad was like money diarist, just go home,
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: it'll be fine, like when sometimes it feels so much
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: more complicated and you go, oh, but I should stay.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: And it's kind of that like that fallacy of putting
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: good money after bad like you've already spent the money,
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: so you kind of try to justify it and you go, yeah,
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: but I've spent six months of rent, Like that's so expensive.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: It was lainten granted a time. Let it be wasted.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: That's so much money. What were you doing, queen?
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: It was a lot of money. I think that was
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: like you know that was oh no, actually sixteen grand
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: was the whole year. So I peted down eight grand
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: for the rent six months in advance.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you try to justify it, right, and you go, oh, well,
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: I need to keep this amount going because like I
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: already spent it, and otherwise it will be wasted. Sometimes
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: let's waste it, Like let's just waste it and it
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: will come back. And I know it doesn't feel good
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: at the time, but like it's the best for your
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: mental health and your physical health. And as your dad said,
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: your dignite pick it up and take it home. Micren. Yeah,
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: so I, you know, with my tail between my legs,
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: I went home. No, your tail was wagging. We wanted
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: this relationship. I came home.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: I moved back home with my parents at twenty eight.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: I at that time, you know, it just dawned on me,
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: like as much as my mom was relying on my
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: dad and you know, he sorted out the finances, I
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: got to do this alone. I'm kept it on my
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: own ship. You know, in this part, there's no one.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: Else but me. Yeah, that's crazy, but also so good. Yeah.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: So when I moved home, I had a year of
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: studying before my exams, and during that time I kept
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: my head down. I sort of worked hard. I think
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: that's when I realized it dawned on me, and I
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: think it was actually another money Diaris who said it
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: on the podcast. She said, it is not what the
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: external or what you hear from other people telling you
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: what you need to do. It's only when you realize
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: that you really really wanted that's when you would really
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: go for it, and that's when I moved home.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: I just realized, you know.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: What, screw it, I'm going to rely on me because
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: you know, no one else is going to disappoint myself.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: But you know I will make sure that will not
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: be disappointed, you know, like I had my own back totally.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: And that's hard, right, And so many times we go, no,
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: I really want it, bit deep down, you don't want
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: it hard enough yet, so you don't change, and then
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: all of a sudden something dawns on you. That's all
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: I can think about. That's all that's going to ever happen, exactly.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: And funny enough, that same time when I moved back,
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: my mom slipped me a book and I've never she's
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: I mean, she's gifted me books over the years, and
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: it was actually The Barefoot Investor.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: Good mom.
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And then you know they're sort of the Restles
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: history and that from that point onwards, because when I
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: started reading The Barefoot Investor, I spoke to my sister
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: and she was the one who introduced me to She's
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: on the money.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Oh thank you you tell her that. I'm very grateful and.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: I have never missed a single podcast ever since stopped
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: really yes, I've listened to it from the very very
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: first start when it was just your very first episode,
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: and I've been listening to it every week when it
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: comes out.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: I'm obsessed. Thank you for being here. That is literally
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: the best. Like it never gets old when people are like, oh,
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: I'm in the community, or I'm around or I listened
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: to the podcast, like it's actually so insanely exciting to
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: me that look how many friends I have.
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: Guys, Yes, if only I could tell you, you know
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: the changes, because like ever since I got onto the bandwagon, off,
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: She's on the money. Since I was twenty eight twenty nine,
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: I was able to took a trip to Europe for
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: three weeks. I took my aunt along with me. I
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: funded her trip because it was her retirement present from me.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: On that year at thirtieth, that's when I bought my
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: first place. I also started investing in shares for the
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: very first time. You would be very proud of me
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: as I go along to tell you my story.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: I am already very proud of you. So I need
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: to know how did we meet our husband? Like I
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: know I need to ask you what you earned, but
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: I also need to know how you met your husband.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: So husband was because I changed apps. I went to Bumble.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so we stand bumble. We love bumble,
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: we love bumble. Funny enough, I didn't give up on
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: the apps. I just went to a different app. And
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: I met my husband at thirty two, and that was
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: after I bought my house. Oh my goodness, he really
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: got a catch. Like imagine him. He'd be like going
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: home to his mates. He's like, I have met this girl.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: She is a hustler. She is so kind and so beautiful.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: She also owns her own property. Like, oh my goodness.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: He won't tell me did you win as well? Or
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: have we got another one of the cup pasts that
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: you liked to have before?
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: No, he was completely different. First thing is that i've
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: it was only with my husband. Then I realized how
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: supportive a partner can be in any form of way.
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: And I've never met a guy who lovest my cats
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: more than anyone else.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: As somebody who found an also cat guy get this money, darrest,
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: he let me get a second one. I know. That's
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: why I have true cats at the morment. I love
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: this for us. This is amazing. Yes, so you bought
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: your own house, then you met your husband. Tell me,
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: let's start learning about the financial side of things. What
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: do you do for work and how much money do
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: you earn? So I'm a veterinarian, of course you are.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: I love this and because my work I do a
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: lot of overtime. I would say that in the year
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: I earned around two hundred to two hundred and fifty
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: grand Oh my god. You were here hustling for better,
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: weren't you. You were like, I need to do this
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: postgrad and sorry, this is what you were hiding in
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: the library for. Yes, yes, my queen, My queen. I
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: feel like that was not necessary. And so what does
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: it mean? Before you and I got on recording, you said, oh,
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: I do shift work and I didn't ask anything more
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: about it because I didn't want to know at that
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: point because I didn't want to ruin the show. But
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: tell me what does it mean to work shift work
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: but also be a vet? Like what type of vet
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: are you doing?
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: It's more like emergency?
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, my heart, is that really hard? It sounds
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: really hard.
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: It's definitely a passion career.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: I love the work.
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: I love how tough it is, but at the same time,
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: I love being there for the clients and for the patients.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: I knew that I always wanted to be a VET
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: since I was young and emergency Funny enough, it tickled
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: my adrenaline junkie side of things. So it's fast paced,
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: you think on your foot, it's quite full on. But
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: at the same time, you know, whenever I am there
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: in those graveyard hours in the middle of the night,
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: two am in the morning, there's a lot of reward
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: as much as there is so much sometimes heartache that
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: comes from the job. Yeah, I would say it's definitely
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: a passion career. You know, if you don't love it,
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: it's very hard to stay in it.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, Oh, it absolutely would be. And I feel like
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: mood's already down, but I don't want to bring down
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: the mood. But we know that people who work as
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: bits experience some of the worst mental health in the country,
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: so I think that's worth noting as well, because obviously
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: it's not an easy career. And you've just said, oh,
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: I earn like two hundred to two hundred and fifty
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: thousand dollars and a lot of people will be like, WHOA,
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: that's crazy, that's so good. But also we need to
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: go well at what cost, Like, are you okay? Is
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: that going to be sustainable for you? And I think, yeah,
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: that's really important as well, So tell me is that
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: sustainable to continue earning that amount of money in the
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: job that you've got.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: I think it's a sacrifice. I always see it as that.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: It's a sacrifice that you give up. You give up
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: your weekends, you give up your public holidays. It can
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: be quite lonely, especially if you don't have the right
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: support system around you. I think that's what people don't realize.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: It's a real sacrifice to be able to earn that
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: and it's a lot of hours to put in. I've
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: been doing it for quite a long while already. But
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: if you're not for the burnout rate is really high
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: as well. So that's the unfortunate downside of my career.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: It's it's good when it's going, but at the same time,
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: you'd be so careful to look after like, you know,
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: make sure you look after yourself.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: One hundred percent. And that's why I'm like, you're okay, right, Like,
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: let's just point this out. Yeah, so money, dirist, you
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: also have bought your own house before you even got
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: a husband, Like that is incredible, But what are your
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: current big money goals? What are you working towards.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: So at the moment, we are working towards starting a family.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: I guess like what I'm looking for is the opportunity
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: of having some time off or maternity leave at least,
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: And because like you know, my parents were hustlers, so
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: Mom was very busy working most of the time. Whereas
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: for me, I want to change that narrative. I'm hoping
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: that at least I can be around, you know, with
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: my kids raising up and hopefully go down to part
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: time eventually. So for me, at least, one thing I
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: know is that I always tell myself it is not forever.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: I know there's an expiry date eventually for my career
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: due to either the mental load, the family commitments, you know,
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: or even the strain it puts on the body. So
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: I just telling myself, you know, make haywell sunshines because
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: you never know when it's going to end.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, so tell me, And I want to be
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: a little bit pervy if you'll let me. Yeah, what
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: does planning for a family look like to you? Because
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: you mentioned you are thirty six and I'm thirty five,
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: So I know what that looks like from my perspective,
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: but you don't have any kids yet, Like, how far
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: down this family planning route are we? What does that
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: look like?
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: Well, we only just got married last month, so so
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: so early. Yeah, still early, and that's why we're hoping, like,
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: you know, in the next set of six to twelve months,
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: you know, we would consider start trying for a family.
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: At the moment, what family planning looks like for us
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: is sort of like putting money aside for maternity leave.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: Yeap. Cool?
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so, and we know that children are not cheap,
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: so having a bit of that buffer.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: They are very expensive, but that is okay because like
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: from my perspective, they are definitely worth it as somebody
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: who has to and like, honestly, I've got to chat
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: to my husband three which sounds good, like I don't
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: know for like the more the merrier in my house,
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: but it is something that takes a lot of planning.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Are you just stashing away as much cash as possible
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: or are you like keeping a budget or are you
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: looking at like family content, like where's your head at,
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: you know, prior to getting pregnant yeap.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: So at the moment, we have already have a family
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: budget that we're very filled. So you know, we've set
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: of set aside like fifty grand from the maternity leave
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: at that time, and that will at least, you know,
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: cover most of the living expenses. We've also topped up
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: our emergency fund along at the same time, so that
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: is around we're hoping to at least get up to
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: at least one hundred grand. And I was about to
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: say that, you know, at this moment, Hobby and I,
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: you know, we are trying to make time false elf
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: still to create these kids through real Yes, yep, yep.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: Timing is everything. You don't realize that until you're in
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: it and you're like, oh, okay.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: This is not as easy as I thought it was
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: going to be. No, And that's why I told my husband.
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: I said, look, we'll take it as it comes the
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: next six or twelve months, even if you know, plans change.
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: At least we're financially prepared for it.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: You know. Yeah, I resonate with that so much in
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: my head. Prior to getting pregnant, I just thought, oh,
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: you just like stop using contraception, right, like that's just
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: the rule. No, No, there's a lot of planning and
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: you know what, the type of planning that makes a baby,
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: from my perspective and from my personal experience, is not
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: that sexy. It sounds sexy, it's not very sexy. It's not.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: It's a lot about clocks and ovulation tests and texting
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: your partner. You are home tonight, right, Yes?
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: And when I heard your podcast about what you know,
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: your journey of getting your second one, I was like.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: I mean the early stages. I know what it feels like,
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: all the supplements or the estrogen tests, and you're.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Just doing the best that you can, and you're just
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: so stressed because you're like, I don't know what I
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: don't know, and every week there's something new and you're like,
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: I didn't know that. That's crazy exactly. So yes, I've
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: got all my fingers and toes crossed for you, but
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: I do not envy that position at all. I do
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: issue the best of luck. Let's go to a really
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: quick break because on the flip side, I want to
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: ask you about your investments. I know you're working towards
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: one hundred thousand dollars in your emergency fund, so I
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: want to talk about that, and then your best and
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: worst money habits, So guys don't go anywhere. All right,
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: money diarist, we are back. And in your entry letter
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: that you sent to me six times your annual salary
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: saved or invested. How the heck have you done that
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: in less than ten years.
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: Look, I would say that it's times the original annual
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: sariat so that was like forty one grand, So six times. Yes,
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: I would say it's a combination of Well, I did
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: put a lot in my super in the beginning of
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: my years, for.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: Sure, smart girl.
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: And also I sort of like shuffled as much money
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: as I could in my shares portfolio at the same time.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: So at this moment, when it comes to investing or
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: my investments overall, my current super is sitting around two
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: hundred and eighty two thousand stop.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: That's incredible.
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: Yes, And at the moment, my share portfolio is sitting
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: around seventy grand at this stage.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: That is so cool. And told to me about your
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: emergency fund, how is that trucking along?
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: So at the moment, it's a team effort between Hobby
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: and I. So at this moment, what is happening with
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: us is that I came with the mortgage, and the
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: mortgage is pretty much under control of my end. So
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: hobby is literally saving everything that ends.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: We love to see it. So tell me a bit
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: more about this. You've been married a month. Congratulations. That
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: is genuinely so exciting. I have a lot of wedding questions,
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: but first and foremost, did you manage money together before
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: getting married or only after?
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: Well, we actually started managing money in our third year
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: of dating each other, so we took the slow route
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: to marriage. So we were dating for at least four
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: years before he popped the question, because I think he
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: was scarred as much as I was from all the
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: relationships that you know, he wanted to make sure it
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: was the right one before we committed. But we were
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: already talking about money, like in our sort of early
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: I would say, in our first year of dating. We
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: started the conversation because he's very passionate and investing, but
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: he invests. He has his own self managed super fund
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: that he contributes to. Okay, I like to keep mind
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: stock standard simple, one of those like normal generic super
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: funds that you see all around.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: Yes. Absolutely, yeah, So I always joke with my husband.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: I say, look, we'll go to the very end and
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: we'll see who does better the sell managed super fun
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: versus the stock center super Fun.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: Could you let me know, like in like what thirty
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: forty years, you just call me up and be like, hey,
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: v this one one and then I'll be able to
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: report back to the community. Yeah.
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: So a list, you know, it's like a live statistics
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: of self managed sip fun versus super Fun.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: Yes, one percent. That's crazy. So how did you pay
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: for a seventy thousand dollars wedding? Oh?
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: So well, because most of the mortgage comes from from me,
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: My husband was I would say he left it the brunt.
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: Within six months we saved seventy grand together. It was
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: a lot of grind, a lot of hustle. I think
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: a lot of bloods, certain tears from both of us.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: In the end, it sounds like it we eventually got there.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: So yeah, we were actually very proud of ourselves in
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: the end. And that's why with my husband, especially because
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: we navigated through it was funny, like the timing of
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: things will I'm not gonna lie. So I met my
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: husband when I studied too, bought the house. I was like, sweet,
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: you know, we just need to date this guy. Find
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: out he's not a bad ache.
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: Not a psycho.
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: Not a psycho. Marry him, Happy days. And we finally,
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: you know, sort of spoke to each other. We moved
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: in together July August. He was served a notice of redundancy.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: No, you can't catch your break, no with these men
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: with no jobs.
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: I was like, I do not know what I've done
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: in my past life, but holy.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: Do like you definitely got hit with that stick. Yeah.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: And then it was sort of six months when he
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: was out and I was like, Okay, we got this.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: Don't worry.
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: I have all my dogs lined up in a row.
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: At least we're not renting this time without a job. Okay,
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: I've learned many relationships, so I got this. I'm well versed.
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: And then what happened was once he got his job,
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: finally after six months, I said, honey, we got to
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: start saving. And within twelve months he actually I got
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: to give him credit. He saved our pregnancy, fun, he
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: saved our wedding, every paid it he got. He was
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: so diligent, he'd like, you know, put it all. We
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: did the budget together and we set the target, and
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: he was such a gun. That's one thing I love
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: about my husband, even though when life beats him down.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: When he's back up on his feet, you know, he's
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: willing to pick it up and just chug for with love.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: And that's just something that I so respect in just
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: human beings in general, Like it's so easy to give
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: up or feel like it's too much, but it just
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: sounds like he's got his head screwed on. I need
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: to know if he was able to save that so quickly,
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: Like come on, give us the gloss? What does he
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: do as a job, Like, how do you do that?
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: He's an engineer, he is. That's quite sexy. I like that.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and I would say that our pay brackets
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: are roughly the scene.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that's quite cool though, and like that's got
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: such power behind it, and like coming from like I'm
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: just looking at your money story like my favorite thing ever.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: And you've probably noticed obviously our community don't get to
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: see these podcasts, like we don't record the video, but
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: every time we do a money diary, I get the
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: privilege of sitting down in my study with a money
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: diarist and a cup of tea, and I'm like sitting
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: here like I'm getting the gossip. I'm like I'm what next, Oh,
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: my god, what does your husband do? It's like the
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: best thing in the entire world. Like if you enjoy
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: listening to money diries, you best believe I have ten
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: times more fun recording them, Like it is so perview.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: But knowing your money story and where you've come from
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: and you being like Vitoria, I grew up and I
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: wasn't really meant to talk about money, and like, you know,
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: coming from Malaysia where you literally would have had domestic
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: help and every single friend that you went to school
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: with would have had domestic help, Like that is normal. Yeah,
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: it's like my girlfriends who grew up in Singapore, like
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: it's we don't like we joke about it because I
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: obviously did not grow up in Singapore. But they're like, Victoria,
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: we should move home to have children, because we would
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: have a housekeeper, we would have a nanny, we would
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: have all these things and it is so normal, and
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: here you do it yourself, Like it's just such a
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: different culture.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: It is. It is like I always tell my partner,
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: I said, oh, it's such a different thing even like
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: you know, yeah, like how I said, like it's so
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: normal in Malaysia to have a domestic help but that
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: prepares all your meals. And here my husband and I
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: are trying to work out Marley Spoon as best as
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: we can.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, but we love Marley Spoon. But that is
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: absolutely the case, right, Like it's exactly. It is not
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: easy by any stretch. So going from not being able
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: to talk about money, having a completely different cultural background
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: to being a high income household pop off, queen, I
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: love this for you, Thank you, thank you. What is
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: it like growing up in a family where you can't
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: talk about money but you're clearly stressed about money.
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: It's very anxiety provoking, for sure. It's very very stressful
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: because you suddenly you have to read the little like
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: subtle signs. Sometimes, you know, you would start searching, you know,
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: for the little cues like oh my god, we went
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: from driving you know, a Toyota camera with all the
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: spec spells and whistles, lettuce seeds and all to Toyota Corolla,
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: which is the basic model, and suddenly you're like, oh
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: my god, it's fabric seats and it could be.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: As simple as that.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: And because you're not able to talk about it or
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: be like hey, why yeah, exactly, because it could be
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: as simple as you know. It's funny because now I'm
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: much older. I asked my mom. I said, like, what
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: was the goal with the cars at the time. My
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: mom was like, oh, yeah, we just didn't know what
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: car to choose in the beginning, so we decided let's
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: start the cheapest option until we figure out the local
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: brands and then walk your way up.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh my god, that is not
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: what I thought was happening, mom, Like I thought we
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: were going to die. Yeah, I thought we were not
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: going to have food on the table anymore. That was
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: the feeling.
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: And you know, yeah, I was thinking that we're not
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: going to have food on the table. But it's probably
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: just my mom's bad cooking because she has never cooked
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: for forty years and.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: Suddenly yeah, yeah, and now she has to cook. And
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: you're like, why are we having eggs every day with
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: barbecue sauce? I thought that was.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: Love, yes, And I remember, you know, for the first
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: probably like two months in Australia, we only had two
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: sauces in the pantry because Mom doesn't didn't do a
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: lot of the cooking back home, so that's why. And
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: here I was thinking, oh my god, we're going to
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: run out food.
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: This is it?
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: We kind of thought food anymore?
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: Isn't it crazy? Because we just don't know what we
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: don't know? And that's what's so beautiful about financial literacy
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: because it's not actually just about money. It's not because
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: now all of a sudden you know how to do
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: a budget. It's because everything in life starts to make sense.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: Because at the end of the day, money drives everything.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: It's crazy money, darrested. Tell me, tell me about your debt.
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: How much debt do you have? What does that look like?
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: So I have my mortgage at the moment, it's sitting
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: around six hundred and thirty five thousand, but the house
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: is currently valued at one point three million.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, look at you go? Yep. And what's the plan
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: in the future, Like are you planning on you know,
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: buying other houses, upgrading, changing? Like where are we at?
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: Well, we are looking at maybe an investment property in
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: the I would say, in a bit on the distant future,
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: only because you know, family plan and creating a family
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: is our main focus right now financially, So we decided
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: that once we have the kids, then we can look
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: at building our property sort of like empire or whatever
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: we want to do. But I think one I always
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: tell my husband, I said, we just need one one
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: more and that's it.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: One step in the right direction. Let's just keep on
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: keeping on exactly. I love that. Alright, money diarist, talk
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: to me about personal insurance. You are both high income
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: and is please tell me you have insurance. I do, okay,
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: thank you, and.
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: It's personal insurance outside of super okay. I took that
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: out as soon as I signed my contract for my mortgage.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with you. How did you know where to
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: go and what to do and the types of insurances
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: that you needed?
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: I mean, I was consuming so much financial content at
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: a time, and I found out that because I still
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: had the money story, that there was no money or
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: support for my family. It just dawned on me when
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: I got a mortgage that if anything will happen to me,
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: I had no help. That's what's it. And that's when
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: I did my personal insurance.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: I even did a will. Good girl, I'm so proud
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: of you, but it's so true, right, like, if if
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: something happens to you, there's no one to pick up
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: the pieces and be like, don't worry money darist. I
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: will pay your mortgage in the entrant. That's not going
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: to happen.
• 47:20
  Speaker 3: No, that's why I took out personal insurance, Life Trauma
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: TVD the whole bells and whistles, and I also got
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: a will and I even nominated my parents. I said,
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: if anything was to happen, this is.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: What needs to happen. Love, Now tell me a bit more.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: I'm sure you have so many, but what do you
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: think is your best money habit.
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: I would say my best money habit is that I'm
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: really good at looking for a bargain. So a good
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: example was actually my house.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that looked like a pretty good example.
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: Yes, because it was shortly after COVID in twenty twenty
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: when I bought my property. It was actually and that's
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: the thing, I saw the household what it was. It
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: was probably an investment property before, so the tenants didn't
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: really look after it, so when they were selling it
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: it was s is there was it looked it was
• 48:14
  Speaker 3: dirty or stains and everything. But I think what I
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: saw what the house was for. What the value is
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: they were asking at that time was six hundred and
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: nineteen thousand, and I.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: Lob alled them. I was like six fifteen. Good girl.
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: Now, when I look back, I was like, oh my god,
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: that was such a bargain at that time. You know,
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: I think for when I showed it to my parents,
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: because you know, they came from from Malaysia, their houses
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: were spik Span, brand new, built from scratch, and then
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: I showed them my house, I think my parents was like,
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: what have we done?
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: What did you do?
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: And then now when they look back, they're like, oh,
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: great decision, you found a bargain.
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, But also, isn't it so funny that this stuff
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: gets so overlaid with their cultural expectations. And I find
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: that so many people in our community who have immigrant backgrounds,
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: their parents just simply don't get it. And it's not
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: because they don't care. It's not because they don't have
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: a level of financial literacy like your dad or your
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: mom could be like the best investor in the world,
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: but because culturally they come from somewhere different, they're not
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: going to see what you see. And that's okay. But like,
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: I'm so glad they've kind of come around and they're like,
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: money direst, I'm glad that you did that, even though
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: we thought that was really horrific. Yes, I love that.
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: On the flip side, what's your worst money habit?
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: I would say that I can be quite impulsive, like
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: I'm very impatient.
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: Really, I did not pick that up from you.
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: Yes, I think once I've put my mind to it,
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: I'm like full steam ahead. So that's why, you know,
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: it got me to where it got me by. At
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: the same time, it's got me into trouble sometimes and
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: it comes to like, you know, impulse purchase us or
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: things that that you know, when I'm I'm sold about,
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: you know, something in particular, like for example, running shoes.
• 50:09
  Speaker 3: I love running and I'm obsessed with running shoes, and
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: I would just buy running shoes on a woman. Yeah, okay, yeah,
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: worst money hope. It very impulsive in that part.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: But that's okay. I feel like, for my sake, I
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: need you not to be good at everything because I
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: was like this woman, she's so good. But also we've
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: just gone through so much of your money story and
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: I'm just I'm so grateful because I just know, can
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: you imagine people listening to this in their cars. It's chaotic.
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: They're going to be like, this is so gretty, this
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: is so good. Also a little bit chaos, but like
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: that's what we're here for. But you said you were
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: a B plus and then you're like, oh, I bought
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: my house and I set up my wheel, and I
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: did all of my own insurances, and I'm like planning
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: for a baby. We're going to have one hundred grand
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: in savings before then. And also I'm married to an engineer. Queen,
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: what why can you hear yourself?
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: I know, I think I just said expectations to myself
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: too high because in my mind.
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: I'm an a when I'm retired. Okay, all right, but also,
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: come on, let's be a little bit kind to ourselves.
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: You are literally doing amazing things, Like can I just
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: take you back. Let's talk to twenty eight year old you,
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: like she just walked out of another relationship that she
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: thought was going to work and it didn't, and you
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: started from scratch and now you're here. Like imagine if
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: I laid all of this out on the table, I'd
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: be like, oh my god, You've got a really cool husband.
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: He's an engineer. I get this real job, has a
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: real job, and you've bought your own house. It's now
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: worth one point two million dollars and you're a hustler,
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: so you bought it for less than half. Like, imagine
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: me going through all of this and telling you about
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: your super and your investments and what you've done for yourself.
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: What would she say? What would twenty eight year old
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: you say you were raided?
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: I think she wouldn't believe it. Less and four I
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: at that time I didn't think I was capable of
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: doing it. But at the same time, I think twenty
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: or or me will be very proud on how far
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: we come.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, she better, otherwise I need to have a little
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: bit of a chat with her, you know. But it's
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: so relatable to be in a situation where you go,
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: even if we backtrack, right, how do you create this
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: when at twenty eight you wouldn't have thought that you
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: were capable. How do you take yourself from that circumstance
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: where you could have gone one way and been like, well,
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: I'm twenty eight, what's the point? And so many people
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: do but you are so young? But how do you
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: go from there to hear like that's a success story,
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: my friend?
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: Yes it is. I always think that if you hit
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: rock bottom and when you know, when everything is out
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: and you're really like knees deep and you're at your lowest.
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: I mean, the only way you know from there.
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: Is really up, really one hundred percent, like what's the worst? Yeah.
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: At that time, honestly, you know, twenty old me was
• 53:04
  Speaker 3: probably thinking, like, I'm here, I'm as low as I
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: can be. Anything above this is a bonus, you know,
• 53:11
  Speaker 3: anything above this is a win. And that's how I
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: think I saw and I took life, and I think
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: that's what inspired me so much to be where I
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: am because after that, everything that I did, I was like,
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: you know what, anything that was better than what I
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: was at twenty eight is a bonus. And I think
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: that's what got me to where I am because I
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: sort of I became a bit fearless. I just took
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: every challenge you know by the horns and just ran
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: with it.
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: I love it so much. It makes me so happy,
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: and I'm so proud of you and just so excited
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: to know that you're in this circumstance and you deserve it,
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: like you deserve this and everything else that is to come.
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: And I'm just I'm so happy that I got to
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: meet you, but also so happy that I get to
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: share this story with our community, because I just know
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: that someone's listening and they're just like, how do I
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: do it? Away?
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: Do?
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: And you said it best earlier. And I don't know
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: if you know you said this, but you said, just
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: like one step, just like do one step, just do
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: one thing. And I think that that's the best advice ever.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: And your dad had some really good advice as well,
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: and it was just take your dignity and go home.
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: That's so good. It's just so good. Yes, Money, Darist,
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: I wish we had more time, but I'm just I'm
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: out of time. But I am so grateful that I
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: got to have this chat with you, so thank you
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: so much, Thank you so much. That's my chatting with
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: you too. The advice shared on She's on the Money
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: should not be relied upon to make an investment or
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product,
• 54:53
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• 54:57
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• 55:00
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