Latest / The Matriarchy Would Never | A Promote Yourself to CEO Podcast Series / How to Prepare for Next Level Visibility (Even if You Feel Not Ready Yet)

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How to Prepare for Next Level Visibility (Even if You Feel Not Ready Yet) · The Matriarchy Would Never | A Promote Yourself to CEO Podcast Series

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know you've got to get out in front of more potential clients.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: But all that visibility, it can feel so scary and intimidating.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: It can feel like you would die from a fear of rejection.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're worried about what other people are thinking.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: How do you get ready for more visibility when you don't feel ready yet at all?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about it.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Are you ready to grow from solopreneur to CEO?
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: You're in the right place.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Rachel Cook, and I've spent the last decade helping women entrepreneurs start and scale service-based businesses.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you're serious about building a sustainable business, it's time to put the strategy, systems, and support in place to make it happen.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Join me each week for candid conversations about stepping into your role as CEO, the hard lessons learned along the way, and practical, profitable strategies to grow a sustainable business without the hustle and burnout.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Hey there, CEO.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to this series all about marketing that converts, marketing that grows your business.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And as we discussed in the last episode, one of the biggest things holding women entrepreneurs back is that we often just are not doing enough to attract marketing.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: The marketing activities that get us in front of new potential clients for the very first time.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: This is key if you want to grow your audience, if you want to grow your community, if you want to grow your email list, is simply getting in front of enough new faces.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because over time, you will have attrition in your community.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: You will see people unsubscribe from your email list, you will see followers unfollow you on social media.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that's just part of business, right?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: At some point, people move on.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: At some point, they decide they no longer need your product, program, or service, or they're no longer interested in what you're sharing.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that is totally okay.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: That is to be expected.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: But if our goal is to continue to grow our business and to have a steady stream of potential clients coming into our business, then we need to be spending more time on the attract side of marketing.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that means being more visible.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And this brings up a lot for women.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: It brings up so much stress and anxiety and feelings of not enoughness.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: So in this episode, I want to dive into how to prepare yourself for more visibility, even if you feel like you're not ready yet.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because the sooner you start saying yes to more visibility, the faster you will see more opportunities show up for you and your business.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: So we want to set you up for success.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Let's start with logistics.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Logistics are the easiest place to start because these are checkoffable, right?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: We can get these things done pretty quickly without too much stress or anxiety, or at least that's the hope.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: So before you're putting yourself out there for more visibility in your business, you want to make sure you have some things ready.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: You want to make sure that you have these things ready to go.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do a quick review, logistics review of what I would recommend having in place before you start pitching yourself for more visibility opportunities.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: First, you need your bio.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: You need to make sure you have a great speaker bio.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: You might need a byline if you're pitching yourself for articles.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you are pitching yourself and you need a longer, more formal bio, you might need that version.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: I have a couple links I'll share in the show notes for how you can write a couple variations of your bio, but usually we're not looking for a super, super long one.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like a paragraph is usually just fine, but you do want to have that ready to go so that when you pitch yourself, you have that ready for people to introduce you on their podcast or to introduce you before you take the stage, etc.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: So you want to make sure you have your bio, maybe a short version and a longer version and a byline ready to go.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Then you want to have your headshot.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is important.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: This is the only time I will say everybody needs to make sure you have a professional headshot.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just take a picture where you've cropped out your kids or something.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: It is definitely worth it to have a professional headshot that you can easily send out.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Your bio and your headshot are the two things that if you're not sending those with your pitch, which you may not need to.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you'll be sending in a pitch with a form and they'll ask for that with the pitch, but it's something everybody will ask for if you're going to be speaking or being interviewed, etc.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: So you want to have those ready to go.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can even put these into like a speaker one sheet or a media kit type of thing.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: All of those are pretty easy to put together.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: These are super searchable.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to panic trying to make this happen.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, if you go into Canva these days, you can type in one sheet or media kit and it will give you amazing templates to help you start putting this together.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: You'll also want to have a pitch.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I recommend coming up with two or three potential topics that you are pitching that you can speak on or that you could be interviewed on.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: These topics are ideally things that are what your ideal client is currently struggling with, what they're trying to overcome or they're trying to avoid.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: These are things that are directly related and attract marketing to the most pressing symptom that they are experiencing, and you can help them solve the underlying problem.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is really important to keep in mind when you are pitching yourself is that often if you're getting in front of new people, again, they don't have the expertise you have.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: So your pitch needs to be focused on what is going to meet them exactly where they are.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: So you want to have probably two or three quick things that you can talk about.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And for each topic, you might have a headline for that topic, like a suggested subject line or headline, and then maybe two or three bullet points for each one about what you can talk about related to that topic.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, you want to make sure you have a place for people to go afterwards so they can continue to learn more about working with you.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: So this is where having a great irresistible free offer is going to be helpful because if you want people to join your email list, then you need to have something available to send them.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And you want your irresistible free offer to align with your topic that you're pitching, and you also want it to align with the product, program, or service you're going to sell.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: If these things aren't taking people through the customer journey, and again, this is something we're going deep into in the upcoming workshop on July 19th.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: So make sure you're there if you want to really get into the details about this customer journey and how to make sure each part of your marketing fits into that customer journey and helps people get ready to buy from you.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So you want to make sure that everything goes together, that it's taking them all in the same direction, right?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I will often pitch myself or have someone pitch me on some of the topics that I can speak on.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And for example, something that people like to talk to me about a lot is how to be more predictably profitable.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so I have a couple different variations of the topic I can cover.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: I point people towards one of the free resources.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a 12-month predictable profit plan guide.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: I have a lot of resources like the get paid calculator that I can point people towards really easily when I'm being interviewed on a podcast.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you can point people from an article that you're writing on another blog or a website.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can point them from the media to a specific free thing that you have on your website.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can point them from interviews and speaking and guest teaching, all to one of these free resources with a call to action to join your email list.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: You could also invite people to go directly to booking a consult with you or a request for a proposal.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: However, I sometimes find that unless you're in a more intimate setting where you can really showcase your experience and expertise, if this is an audience, it's a really big audience, then you might want a more intermediary step of some sort of free resource before inviting them to a consult.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you're teaching to, let's say, a small mastermind group in someone else's program, you might be able to skip straight to the free consult or paid consult, even.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: But if it's a larger platform, you might want to have a free resource just to make that more manageable and to help assist you in really vetting the right people are getting on the phone with you.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so those are some of the checkoffable logistics.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: These are the things we want.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'll also recommend putting together some sort of tracking document.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: We use a Google spreadsheet.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: We're not super fancy around here.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: And what I would put in that tracking document is I would start with researching 25 places I want to pitch.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna put that information in the spreadsheet.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm gonna track when did I send the pitch?
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Two weeks later, when did I send the follow-up?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Two or three weeks later after that, when did I send another follow-up?
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm gonna track if that got booked, if I did not get booked, then when can I circle back with them?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm tracking all of that in a spreadsheet, and that really helps me to stay organized.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think one of the things you often forget, or at least I often forget, is follow-up is so key if you are pitching yourself, especially if you're cold pitching to people who do not know who you are.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: You want to make sure you are really organized so that you can follow up with that person a few times and make sure that you don't drop the ball on any opportunity that you might have out there.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Who do you pitch?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: I would recommend was starting where you are.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: When you are brainstorming that first list of 25 places you are going to pitch, I would start where you are and think about people who are maybe within one or two degrees of separation from you.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you're going out the gate and you're already feeling nervous and a little anxious about pitching yourself or putting yourself out there, getting a lot more visibility, it helps to start with people who already know, like, and trust you.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: It helps to ask those people, hey, who do you know who is looking for someone like me to come speak to their clients or come speak at this event?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: It helps to ask for introductions first.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that's usually my first place to go.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: As I make a list of 25 people and say, who can introduce me to people?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: One of my favorite tips for this is ask for introductions from your colleagues or your peers.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, if you have a good relationship, ask for them to do an introduction to somebody that they were just able to speak for or they were able to provide their experience and expertise to.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you think it would be a fit, would you mind doing a quick introduction to the host?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: I would so appreciate it.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: And because this is just kind of a habit that I have now and I'm paying attention to where my peers and my colleagues, my business friends are out in the world, it has become such an easy reciprocal relationship where we're constantly giving each other introductions to other new speaking opportunities, interview opportunities, etc.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: So start where you are with that.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: I always recommend thinking about who you can ask for introductions first, because that's a really warm way to pitch yourself.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're more likely to get that.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: You can also pitch yourself cold, right?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: So people who do not know who you are.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: This often starts with searching through their website.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a specific place that you're pitching, let's say you want to be on a podcast and they regularly have uh interviews on that podcast, then you want to do a pretty thorough search of their website and see if they have a formal application process or they have something in place for you to pitch directly.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't follow that process, then they might get frustrated or they might not even see it.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: People who do a lot of interviews or have a lot of events going on, they often have to have those processes in place just so they can stay organized and everything goes to the right people.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: So look and see if there's any form for you to fill out first.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: And if there's not, look and see if there's an email for you to fill out or to send to them and send your pitch directly to them.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm not gonna get too detailed in this particular episode about how to do a pitch because I've already done a great episode with my friend Angie Trueblood, where we went deep in how to pitch yourself.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to link up that episode if you need to have more of the logistics of how to pitch yourself in the show notes for this episode.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: So those are the kind of to me the easier things, right?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Logistics are easy, figuring out what I need to do, how to check things off.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, all of this is super implementable if you don't get hung up in the mindset challenges.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about the mindset challenges that come with more visibility.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, gosh, there's so many mindset challenges here with more visibility.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this is one of the reasons why so many women entrepreneurs have an easier time doing things that feel comfortable or that feel safer, like writing an email to their email list.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: That feels comfortable and safe.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Posting on social media and making graphics versus showing their face or going on stories, that feels safe.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: That feels more comfortable to a lot of us.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: But the challenge is everything you want is outside of your comfort zone.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Everything that you want for your business is outside of your comfort zone.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that means we've got to start really getting used to doing the deeper personal work to make ourselves ready for being uncomfortable and to kind of get used to just feeling uncomfortable.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because what happens is when we push out of our comfort zone, we get into that learning zone and that growth zone where it might feel uncomfortable at first.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: After a few times, and you get the hang of it, it no longer feels uncomfortable because you've acclimated yourself to that next level of visibility.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, really, the biggest thing we are struggling with is that emotional, uncomfortable feeling of this doesn't feel safe because it's new and it's unknown.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: And uh we start getting in our head and really second-guessing ourselves and being really critical of ourselves.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, how can we prepare for that?
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: How can we prepare for that?
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: One is remind yourself why you're doing this.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you going after more visibility in your business?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Why is visibility important to you?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Why will visibility make a difference for other people?
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is something I come back to all the time personally.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: I know I am not the only woman who's ever been self-conscious about how I look or how I show up.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I do have to say, it was a little easier when I first got started in my business because that was before there was video, that was before social media, that was before our phones had cameras on them.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when I started my business, I had a Blackberry and there was no posting pictures and there was no video, there was none of that.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: And the first big attract marketing that I did was actually being on Telesummit.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: So it was just my voice.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: And the biggest thing I was worried about is that I wouldn't know what to say, or that I would stumble over my words, or you know, any of those things I was hung up on.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: And how I got over that was I just did it a lot.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: I practiced.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: I practiced all the time.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: I think this is the one thing that we often don't realize when you're looking at people who you look up to, who are visible, who are getting, you know, a lot of press or a lot of media or they're on all these interviews.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: They have done this so many times.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: They have practiced so much.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: That is why they show up and it seems so effortless for them.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because with practice comes the ease.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: With the practice comes the ease.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: So go into it knowing that the first few times are going to feel uncomfortable, and then you will get more comfortable as you get more used to being more visible.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean you have to jump into the deep end of visibility.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: You can definitely tiptoe your way into different types of visibility for your business.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: I know that for me, my comfort zone has been being behind the mic and having interviews.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: So that has been my primary visibility strategy, right?
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: I lean into something that I'm really good at because I practiced it a lot.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, the best part about it is when I sit down and do an interview with somebody, it's just a one-on-one conversation, which feels a lot less pressure to me than if I were speaking on a stage with like 500 people in the audience.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: So start where you are at right now.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: When you're choosing your visibility strategy, go into it thinking to yourself, you know, what can I commit to?
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: What can I practice for a solid six to 12 months and allow myself to really do a lot of this strategy so that I can get even better at it?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: It might be writing blog posts for other people's blogs, it might be writing newsletters for other people's email lists, it might be uh being interviewed, it might be going out there and speaking, whatever the visibility strategy is, I would just pick one that you're gonna go all in on and give yourself permission to be a beginner, give yourself permission to practice and to learn.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: And by the end of that six months, you will feel more confident because you have put the time in, you have put the reps in, and it will be easier and easier as you do more and more and more.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: I think one other thing I would think about is as you are putting yourself out there, especially if you are wanting to tackle the big visibility vulnerability, which is often showing up on camera.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you are really scared or nervous or self-conscious showing up on camera, I want to encourage you to go listen to the podcast episode I did with my friend Nicole Achi, who is a visibility strategist and stylist for women, entrepreneurs, and leaders.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: We had such a great conversation about how so many women hold themselves back, they hold their message back, they don't show up fully to share what they have to say with the world because we have all this internalized self-worth challenge.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: We have the this lack of self-worth, is what I mean to say.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because we are constantly comparing ourselves to each other.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: We worry about the number on the scale, we criticize our appearance.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, that has been how so many of us were raised in this culture, unfortunately, where a women's value is tied into what she looks like, whereas men's value is tied into what he has to say and how much power and how much he can contribute, right?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Nicole has a secret for everybody.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's not, there's nothing wrong with you.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: We are all great, no matter what you look like.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: We need to focus on your message, not the clothes, not the what you look like.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: Your clothes and what you look like is not the thing that should be holding you back from putting your message out in the world.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: But it can be a tool to help you build more confidence.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: And if that type of visibility is something you are nervous about, if you are nervous about going on camera more often, if you're nervous about like people actually seeing what you look like, then I would encourage you to think about what would make you more confident so that you can practice and get used to it.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that you can practice, practice, practice, and get more and more and more used to being that level of visible.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever I talk with Nicole, um, it reminds me of how far I've come because I mean, I just had a photo shoot this year as the heaviest I've ever been, but I also felt the most confident I've ever felt in that photo shoot because my clothes actually help me feel more like myself.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: And they help me to really embody the confidence that I'm.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Want when I am leading this company.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's something you can think about.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's nothing wrong with you.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with your body.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with how you look.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: But your clothes and how you're showing up can be a tool to help you feel more aligned, to help you feel more confident so that it becomes easier to show up.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: And when it becomes easier to show up, then you get more time used to showing up and being more visible.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: When you get that more time showing up and used to being visible, then it doesn't feel as scary anymore.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: Then it becomes second nature, right?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can show up and talk to anybody.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: You can show up and give a speech anywhere because you have really internalized how to be confident in your own skin and how to be confident sharing your voice and be confident sharing your message.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's another thing I would consider as you are, you know, saying I'm not ready yet, is make yourself ready.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: How do you need to make yourself ready?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: How can you uh go listen to that podcast episode with Nicole?
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, things that I have done is I definitely have a capsule wardrobe designed so that I can grab anything out of it that it all fits.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: I feel great in everything.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's on brand for me.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: I have accessories that feel great and feel on brand.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I can easily now get ready in the morning, sit down at my computer and do a live with very little effort because I have set myself up for that success.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because I put the time in to say what's going to make me feel confident, what's going to make me feel pulled together, what's going to make me feel like a CEO.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: I have my office set up so that I can sit down and record something.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: I can sit down and go live at any moment.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: I set myself up for success.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not using my camera not being set up or my lights not being set up or me not knowing what to wear as an excuse.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, I have it already, and all I have to do is sit down and press go live.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing you might be concerned about as you are stepping into more visibility is, you know, some of the dark side of visibility.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I did an interview with my client and friend Meg Ann Ford, and we talked about how visibility can feel scary for women.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it makes so much sense.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I also did a podcast interview with Valerie Rhine about the patriarchy stress disorder and how historically being an opinionated woman, a woman with a lot to say, a woman with a message, a woman that has a platform, it can be a dangerous place.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, a lot of our society has not been designed for women to show up and share their opinions.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: And especially if you're showing up and sharing your thoughts and your opinions online, there can be some real mean people out there.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I did this interview with Megan Ford about what happened when she ended up having somebody that really bullied her online and how she reacted to it.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it was so powerful to talk with her about how she handled this online bully because she realized that the reason it was so hard was that bully was saying exactly what Meg Ann was thinking about herself.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: And she had to separate out what that bully was saying from what was actually true.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: And she really had to do her own inner work here to step away from this message that she was just allowing to run her mind all the time and stop believing that those things were true about herself because they weren't.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: It was just her own worst fears about herself.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's something we all need to get used to doing is we are all going to, especially as you grow your audience, especially as you grow your community, as you work with more and more people, there are going to be people who don't like you.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: There might be people who give you harsh criticism.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: There might be people who just say very rude and terrible things.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: But I can't control that, right?
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: I can't control it, you can't control it.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: None of us can control what other people do or say or feel.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: And at the end of the day, I always come back to my business isn't just about me.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: It is about the people I'm here to serve.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if I am holding myself back and holding my message back and holding my expertise back from other women who could value it and gain from my experience and expertise, because there was somebody who left a mean comment on a live video I did about my weight, or that they disagreed with me, or whatever it is.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: If I hold myself back because of one negative person, while there are thousands of people who are proactively telling me what an impact my work is making in their life, then I am truly doing a disservice.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: I can't hold myself back because of one negative person.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would encourage you if you are having that fear that you're gonna get a hater, you're gonna get a negative comment, you're gonna get people that disagree with you, is go into it knowing that there are certain rites of passage that are gonna happen as you step into more visibility.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: One rite of passage is you're going to get rejection.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever you're putting yourself out there and you're pitching yourself to be a speaker or interviewed or what have you, you're gonna get some no's.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think I said before in the previous episode, when we pitch ourselves, we get like a 10 to 15% acceptance rate, which means 85, 90% of the time, people are saying no, not right now.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I do not take that personally.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: I use that as data to help me figure out, okay, if only 10% are saying yes, then in order for me to hit my goals, I need to pitch this many things.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: I need this many no's in order to get this many yeses.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: I use it as data and I take the emotion out of it because it's never a never.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: Usually it's a not right now, and I can always circle back and I always ask when can I circle back?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when might be a better time.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: So just know that that's part of it.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's part of the process.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: Know that you're gonna get some people who do not agree with you or have different opinions.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: I just had a TikTok go viral this past month, and it was wild to me how many people picked up one little thing that I said, took it out of context, and then completely took over my comments section with all their negativity, because they took one tiny thing I said out of context and decided to get upset about it.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember calling again Meg Ann Ford and being like, oh my gosh, these people totally don't get it.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, Yeah, they're not your people.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: Don't worry about it.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they're the people who are gonna pick on one little negative thing and use that negative thing as an excuse to never move forward because they can't see what you're talking about.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: They're not ready for what you're talking about.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that was so helpful.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: This is why you also need people in your corner when you're going after next level of visibility.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes these things can make you think, oh, did I do that right?
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: Did I mess something up?
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: Am I wrong here?
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: But often you're not.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it got in front of somebody who's not the right person for that message.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: So just remember, you can just be like, yep, you're not my person.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: No big deal.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: Keep on going.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: Keep on going.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are having those fears of somebody saying something negative about you personally, or somebody bullying you, somebody criticizing you in a very public way.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: I know a lot of people have this fear of cancel culture.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: They have this fear of, you know, doing something and then everybody like tears you down.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: And we've seen this happen on, you know, in the world.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: And unfortunately, it's something that is going to continue to happen.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's not nothing we can do to stop it other than you know, not participate in it ourselves.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I think this is where you have to discern between is this actual feedback and constructive criticism, or is this just negativity?
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because if it's real constructive criticism that we should learn from, then absolutely, yes, learn from it, do better.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: But if it's just negativity, then don't stress about it.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's negativity, there's negative people everywhere.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not here to try to convince them not to be negative about me at the end of the day.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to serve the people who do get it.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to serve the people who are in alignment with me.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the ways that I keep reaching those people is I keep standing firm in my values and what I believe and what my mission is.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: And every time I start to doubt myself, every time I start to feel that like a little inner mean girl that wants to tell me that I'm not good enough or I'm not whatever enough, I'm like, you know what?
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's not true.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's all the proof that I have over the 15 years of working with women entrepreneurs that I am good enough and I am smart enough and I am making a difference, and everything I do is amazing for the people it is for.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of that came from practice.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of that came from taking the logistics that we started off this whole episode with, getting them in place, and just committing to taking the action, even if I was emotionally uncomfortable, even if I was nervous, even if I was worried about what they were gonna think about me, knowing that no came with the territory, knowing that there are gonna be people who don't agree with me or have different opinions, and just continuing to show up anyway, continuing to do it anyway, because I believe my mission is bigger than me and my message is bigger than me.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: It is meant to help more women, and I'm not gonna let my own insecurities hold me back from helping the women that I know are looking for the help I can provide.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope you enjoyed this little pep talk on visibility when you are not quite ready for it.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to know this is all part of the process.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: It becomes easier as you start putting in the reps, as you start putting yourself out there.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: And don't forget, I'm linking up three different episodes on the podcast in the show notes for you to dig into this topic even more.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: So if you need more of the logistics, go listen to How Pitch Yourself with Angie Trueblood.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to know more about getting ready for next level visibility with my stylist and friend Nicole Achi, I'll link that one up.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to hear more about how Meg Ann Ford overcame this bully and did her own inner work so that she would feel more confident showing up, knowing that other people did not agree with her or did not like her.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in there as a game changer.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I really hope you listen to those three episodes.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: If visibility is a goal and it's making you really stretch outside of your comfort zone, go listen to those episodes.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I hope you enjoyed this, and I'll talk to you next time.