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120. Like a Garden · Your Enriched Self

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  If we just treated everything as a trial. As a project manager, a
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  trial is put in place for us to validate a new idea of a product,
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  process, etc. A trial is also a season of learning. It's
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  called trial because they're going to be errors, they're going to be ebbs,
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  they're going to be flows, they're going to be things that we learn new,
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  they're going to be things that we expected that would happen. But there's
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  going to be overall lots of learning. And unfortunately, we don't approach our
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  life as a season of learning. We believe that our life, the act
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  that we make today, is the final act. And maybe we don't believe
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  that, but we certainly act as though it is the final act. Hello,
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  my friends from all across the globe and welcome to the Your Enriched Self
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  Podcast. I am your Hostmi le Noir. I am a mindset coach and
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  your mindset advocate and what that means in your world, in this world,
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  in this moment we're having together right now, I know that you probably haven't
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  had a moment to take a breath, a moment to think about your thoughts,
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  a moment to just read. And so that's why I created this podcast,
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  This community of your Enriched Self, because I know, if you're listening
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  to this podcast, you were first of all, brought here on purpose for
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  a purpose, but you want to live a more enriched life. And what
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  I know is this, It's going to start with you. And everything you
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  start begins with your mind, begins with your thinking. And so that's what
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  we do each and every week is we talk about mindset, fusion topics,
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  self care, soul care, and all the things that help you be more
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  intentional about your thoughts because we know your thoughts inspire your actions, which inspire
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  your words, and it inspires the activity and how you show up in the
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  world. And I know that you want to show up as your best self,
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  and so that's why you're here to become more of your enrich self.
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  So, if you are new to this podcast, I want to thank you
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  for being here and I want to welcome you to a great your in rich
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  Self community. If you are a repeat listener, listen, We've been doing
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  this together for weeks on in we are at episode one hundred and twenty and
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  I could not have gotten here without you, your support, your participation,
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  your questions, your inquiries, and all all of the things that keep the
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  conversation going week over week, So thank you for that. Now, if
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  you know, you know, before we get started and we get into this
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  week's topic, which I am excited about this topic too, I want to
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  share with you an affirmation. I do affirmations here on the podcast each and
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  every week because I want to make a deposit in the bank of you,
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  and that's how I get to do it by way of affirmations. Affirmations are
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  a great way to start your day and to command your mourning. And this
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  week's affirmation is I invite gratitude into my heart. I invite gratitude into my
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  heart. I invite gratitude into my heart. Now let's get ready for this
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  week's episode of the Your Enriched Self podcast podcast. At this point I need
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  to speak on it. I think I've heard over the last several weeks and
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  really over the course of the year about relationships, watching people publicly go through
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  relationship issues, in some cases where relationships ended in not so great ways,
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  and I think and want to bring that back to you and your relationships,
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  the ones that you are working on, the ones that are working out,
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  the ones that will never work again. And because relationships are a big part
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  of how we live and how we interact. As much as you might want
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  to tuck this one away, we got to bring it up. We got
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  to put it it up and talk about it. And so this week I
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  want to go there. I want to go into this relationship conversation, but
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  from a different approach. Right, it's easy to get here and start to
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  target all the external things, and oftentimes that means the other party, the
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  other person that's the other half of that relationship. And there are flavors of
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  relationships, right. There's family relationships with the people you grew up with,
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  your brothers and sisters, your parents, et cetera. There are romantic relationships
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  with your partner, your husband, your boyfriend, your spouse, whomever.
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  There are business relationships, maybe a business partner or perhaps someone that you're working
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  with in business and you need to be in relationship with them because you're working
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  on a project, you're working on an assignment, and you need to engage
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  with these people. It could be neighbor relationships, right, you live and
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  name people and you got to interact with your neighbors. So there are a
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  multitude of flavors of relationships that could be in this conversation. But I think
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  that the most important relationship that we can talk about here is the relationship you
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  have with yourself. And I've spoken on this before, but I think it's
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  critical right now because of so much relationship conversation. I'm hearing a lot about
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  the parties and the drama and the issues, but there's not a lot of
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  self accountability. And so I want to take a different approach to it than
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  what has been more pronounced in media and more pronounced probably even in your mind,
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  and start to take some ownness back to ourselves. And I'm gonna start
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  here. I'm gonna start with myself now. For me, I relate a
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  lot of things to the garden. Talk about my mother a lot. She
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  has had a significant influence on my life. She's been gardening my entire life
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  and still does to this day. Unfortunately I didn't quite get the green thumb
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  from her. But I'm recognizing my own flaws. I'm realizing that I have
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  some accountability in why I'm not seeing the results of my mother's sees now.
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  One thing for sure, and two things for certain. My mother talks to
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  her plants. She is very engaging with them. It's almost like They are
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  a school of students and she is the teacher. She's learning from them,
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  they're learning from her, and it is a great relationship. Her garden grows
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  very robustly. Okay, she grows just about everything that you can grow on
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  an island, and she gives it away because it's so much by the time
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  she goes through the harvest seas and she's able to give away so much of
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  what she produced in that garden. So when COVID hit, the things that
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  we wanted to do as a family was adopt the dog. But we can
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  never decide on the breed and the all of the things that you need to
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  decide to have this dog. So I started just adding plants to my life
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  because I figure, listen, I've got to be able to get a plant
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  and keep this thing and maintain this thing over time. And so I don't
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  know about you. By going to a store, I find a plan,
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  it looks beautiful. I'm excited because it looks like what I want. I
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  pick it up and I take it home. Now here's my flaw. The
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  flaw I have is I don't read the little plant tips that are tucked into
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  the soil. Right, those little plastic or paper, little tips that tell
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  you the type of plant it is, the nickname for the plant, the
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  scientific name for the plant, the fact that it's an indoor outdoor plant,
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  or just an outdoor plant, whatever, and then you know the type of
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  it needs medium light, it needs you know, it doesn't need to be
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  stored low a certain temperature. All the little tips that help you help this
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  plant grow. I must say I am guilty of this. And I noticed
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  one of my plants wasn't growing the way I had envisioned it to grow.
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  And so recently I pulled the little tip card out of the soil and learned
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  that this plant needed medium light. However, I've been providing it full light.
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  Not to mention this plant that I have, it's called an umbrella plant
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  requires just to be misted with water a couple times a week, and instead
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  I've been adding water to the soil a couple times a week. So I've
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  been working against all of the patterns of growth that this plant needs to to
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  not only thrive, but survive. Thank God, the plant is still alive
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  and I can make corrective action. It's still growing, it's still flowering,
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  but it's not growing in the way that it should. And so I bring
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  all of that up because I see relationships as flowers. I see them as
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  plants. I see them as things that we need to care for. And
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  each relationship is different. It's just like the scientific name for the plant that
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  you brought home. Each relationship has its own name, it has its own
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  tips. But are we taking time to find that out? See? I
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  was more excited about bringing home this plant that I loved how it looked,
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  but I didn't realize what it needed. And I think in order for you
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  to understand the needs of those things external to you, you need to understand
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  what you need internally. Recently, I found myself being really excited and proud
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  of myself because I'm a commitment, a recommitment to myself that I would make
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  movement a part of my day to day every day for the remainder of the
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  year. The thing that I appreciate about myself is that I was able to
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  not only make that commitment, but keep that commitment. And what that does
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  is that it establishes trust. And so many of us in relationships, we
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  don't have the foundational elements like trust, like understanding where we need to build
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  this relationship. We just get it from the store like the plant, take
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  it home, and we just start doing with it what we did with the
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  last relationship. See at some point me watering the plant that I have now
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  the way that I'm caring for it worked for another plant. And so what
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  we do is we take the same application, the same tips and tricks that
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  we use with this relationship, and we try to just cookie cutter it to
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  the next relationship. And I don't think you're doing that on purpose. I
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  don't think I'm doing that on purpose. I think we just start to operate
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  with what we see as our mode of operation, or what is considered our
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  norm, or perhaps what's comforting for us or what's in our comfort zone.
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  And so in order to dissect this relationship ecosystem that we find ourselves talking about,
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  thinking about, hearing about, not just in culture but in our own
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  lives, is to start looking at yourself. Are you making and keeping commitments
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  to yourself? Because if you're not doing those things and celebrating your wins,
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  how can you bring somebody on board when you don't know how to make and
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  keep commitments to yourself. Now, don't get me wrong, you can go
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  out there and do it. But it starts with you, and that's the
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  point of all this. The accountability of this relationship has to start with you
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  accounting for how not only you treat yourself, how you trust yourself, and
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  how you show up for yourself, because you're going to require people to show
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  up for you in certain ways in your relationship. But how are they gonna
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  know how to do that if you don't teach them how to treat you,
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  and you teach them how to treat you by them observing how you do you.
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  How you do you is going to be a very important part of the
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  scientific tips of how people are to treat you. So show them, show
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  them by showing up for yourself. Prime example, when my mother started her
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  garden, or started her pepper garden, or started her tomato garden, or
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  whatever it was, she always looked at these scientific tips. At the time,
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  I didn't know what they were. I just knew that there were certain
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  areas in her yard that she would grow certain flowers, or she would grow
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  certain vegetation that wouldn't work in other areas of the yard. And I never
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  understood that, but she understood what it took for that plant to grow and
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  it's going to require you to understand what part of your ecosystem. Will that
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  plant grow, will that relationship grow? Right? Also, what's needed for
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  it to grow? Is it a full sun? Is it partial sun?
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  There are going to be things in the relationship that you are nurturing that you're
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  going to need to know, not just what it looks like. Because again
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  I got all fancied by how my plant looked, and I was thinking about
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  what room it would go in and how it would look in that room boom,
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  and I didn't spend time pulling the plant card to get the scientific tips
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  to understand quite literally, we're in that room that I'm envisioning it, will
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  it go and will it grow? And so that responsibility, that attentiveness and
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  accountability is going to start with you. How are you in relationship with yourself?
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  It's so easy to start putting things down in the ground and watching it
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  grow and trying to figure out why it's not growing. You might have very
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  well planted in a place that that particular plant, that particular vegetation will not
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  grow. But how are you going to know that if you're not spending time
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  understanding what your needs are first? First, and foremost, and then understanding
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  the needs of that external party, what do they need in this relationship.
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  So I want you to spend some time in this next week looking around in
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  your relationship ecosystem, in the multiple flavors of relationships. As a year is
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  coming to an end, as we have seen not just relationship demids, but
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  we've seen and have lost this year loss of life, loss of friendship,
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  loss of relationship. And as I mentioned earlier, relationships are at the core
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  of our living and our learning. We get that from the people that we
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  engage with. And so people need people. You need people. And I
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  know sometimes you're over the people peopling because they do it in such a way
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  sometimes that it doesn't make sense. But I'm talking about those relationships you want
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  to nurture and grow, not the general public of people that you encounter each
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  day. But there are relationships that are important to you, whatever it might
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  be, whatever or flavor it is. I want you to start with your
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  ground zero in that relationship. What are some of the things that you are
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  now trusting yourself to do that you are committed or recommitting to do, and
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  when you do it, celebrate it and continue to do and manage you in
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  the relationship. I promise you the person that you are in relationship with will
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  take note and they are going to start to act and relate to you in
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  a different way because they're watching how you do you and that is their inspiration.
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  It starts with you. Make your commitments, keep your commitments, and
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  keep showing up for yourself. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of the
• 17:56
  Urine Retsup podcast. And the only way I'm going to know this is if
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  you leave me some feedback. Feedback is a gift and it is free to
• 18:03
  give, and I would like to hear from you. I would like to
• 18:06
  know what resonated with you regarding this week's episode. Now here's how you leave
• 18:11
  feedback on the platform and which you listen to this podcast follow the stars when
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  when you get there, you can share your feedback on this podcast and that
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  So right from the podcast platform and which you're listening to this episode, hit
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  spoke with today. Also, you can share this on your socials. You
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  can find me primarily on Instagram because that's my jam, that's where I am.
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  You can find me at my Enriched Self that's m y E N RI
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  you can showcase through your friends and families and those in the social streets what
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  you're listening to and what's feeding you mind, body and spirit. I also
• 19:18
  want you to check out the show notes. In the show notes, we
• 19:22
  have the affirmation of the Week, the quote of the week, and there
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  you can also find my Amazon shop. The Your enrich Self shop has two
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  items right now, a journal which is the Show Up Every Day Journal,
• 19:37
  as well as the Show Up Everyday notebook. So check those out in my
• 19:41
  Amazon shops. And finally, take what you can from this episode and do
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  what you must in the next one hundred and sixty eight hours so that you
• 19:51
  can become more of your enriched self until we meet again.