Latest / The Hotmomz Lifestyle Podcast / #211: Why I Didn’t Choose OnlyFans… And Who Made Me Choose Hotmomz

Transcript

#211: Why I Didn’t Choose OnlyFans… And Who Made Me Choose Hotmomz · The Hotmomz Lifestyle Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: If you're a mom and you have chaos around you, this shit's going to make you laugh.
0:03
SPEAKER_00: You're definitely gonna judge me.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: But for a lot of you, I'm gonna free the fuck out of you.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I'm the creator, founder of Hot Moms Lifestyle with a Z.
0:11
SPEAKER_00: Check this out.
0:11
SPEAKER_00: We're doing our launch of the app, and I'm reaching out to just people that I've absolutely just for women, I just love across the year.
0:19
SPEAKER_00: I've been to this 17 years.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: But when we started Hot Moms, because before Hot Moms, it was just fucking called nothing.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: I literally called it my corporation name.
0:26
SPEAKER_00: And 2017 is when I got proper marketing.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: And so we created Hot Mom's Lifestyle with a Z.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: Seriously, I had to choose did I want to go OnlyFans?
0:34
SPEAKER_00: Okay, or Hot Moms.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: So you're welcome.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: Do you know how much more money I could have made with OnlyFans?
0:39
SPEAKER_00: Look at these feet.
0:40
SPEAKER_00: Look at these feet.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: Do you know how much?
0:43
SPEAKER_00: You should see my you should see that.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: Do you know how much money I could make with but I chose you.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: I chose you and chose you every time.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: I chose me and you.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: But anyway, what happened was this.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: You've already missed it.
0:53
SPEAKER_00: You've already missed the feet and the OnlyFans.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: All right, so here's what happened.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: As I'm connecting with a lot of the former hack moms, I'm like, hey y'all, because what happened up was based on the time they joined, they usually paid for a package or whatever.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: And we used to do all this shit by hand.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: I used to fucking get my brain and shit, man.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: I had macro, I had to do macros on paper and pen.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: I did.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: I did macros by with calculators.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: I wrote custom plans in Excel and I did all these things.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: Customized my my intelligence.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: I would connect with every single client.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: And up we've got over 3,000 lives changed.
1:24
SPEAKER_00: We know we've helped that many, and no telling how much is on our courses and shit.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: But all this shit I've put into our app and it's already kicking off.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: Just the few we have inside of the Blanche community is just fucking killing it.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: But I reached out to a couple people and I was like, I gotta go live on this shit because it's gonna free you moms up.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: All right.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: If you oh god, it's gonna free us up because I'm just gonna say it.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: Nobody else is gonna say it because everybody's Instagram Polish Perfect, but I don't like Polish Perfect.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: Even though I'm gonna feel turn right now, I'm a little bit more insecure now that I've gotten older or something.
1:53
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what the fuck that is.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: And I just really I don't know.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: So she goes, Casey, I'm going to, I was gonna wait and message you back Tuesday.
2:00
SPEAKER_00: My life's chaotic.
2:00
SPEAKER_00: She's got two girls, small girls, and then I knew she had a dog.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I told her, I was like, oh my god, why do you even need to wait?
2:07
SPEAKER_00: I hate that I you've put me on a pedestal to wait till the perfect time to get back with me all this shit.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: I'm giving her hell horse.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: And I go, no shit though.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: Two kids, two kids and a fucking dog is I wondered sometimes what did I do to my life?
2:20
SPEAKER_00: Not with the kids, but when we got it with we got the fucking dog, because we went a while and didn't have dogs in my whole life.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: Like I grew up on a farm, like my whole life I've had animals.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: And I I love those things, golden retrievers.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: Okay, but then I saw the other things right there in that crate of Frenchie back when Frenchies were it.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: And I just saw their little fucking ears when they sit to the side and you their little ears go back like this, and their little potato bodies.
2:44
SPEAKER_00: And then my chiropractor had a fucking Frenchie, and she would get in my lap and she would snort in her little tough fucking body and all this shit, right?
2:52
SPEAKER_00: So I had two kids under two, which was what I wanted.
2:55
SPEAKER_00: I wanted kids close in age because I knew the hell that it was being a sibling that was so far apart.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: So I did all that, right?
3:02
SPEAKER_00: Got pre pregnant, miscarried in between.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: It was hard, right?
3:04
SPEAKER_00: But we created out of it, and I not only changed my life because I thought that after becoming a mom, like your life was over pretty much.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: And here I am, I'm like, I still want to be fucking hot, but it's like taboo to say that.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: After you've had a kid, you can't dress like that after becoming a mom, have your tits out and skirts, and you can't like hoe it up and be hot and sexy.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: And you know what I mean?
3:21
SPEAKER_00: It was crazy because I watched my mom totally just give herself up.
3:24
SPEAKER_00: I watched my mom become become a mom or just totally lost herself.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: She was a mom, wife, did everything around the house, and I just all I knew was that you don't have a life anymore.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: I was literally told that.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: And see, but she told me when you want your life to be over, you have kids.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: So I didn't have kids for 10 fucking years because I was like a businesswoman and I wanted to be, and I am a millionaire, all this shit, right?
3:44
SPEAKER_00: But I didn't know you could do it with kids.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: I didn't know you could be hot with kids because I didn't see that modeled.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: Every woman around me was if their excuse was I have kids, they can't do it.
3:52
SPEAKER_00: All this shit, right?
3:53
SPEAKER_00: So I didn't have a lot of women around me with kids, financially independent, killing it with a good body.
3:58
SPEAKER_00: It just wasn't a thing.
3:59
SPEAKER_00: Or if they did, they were married to money or some shit like that, right?
4:02
SPEAKER_00: So me over here I was trying to sell OnlyFans fucking feet shit, right?
4:06
SPEAKER_00: You get the drift.
4:07
SPEAKER_00: But my point is this when we created, I found out like, hey, I can't fucking spend an hour at the gym.
4:11
SPEAKER_00: I can't even go to the fucking gym because I've got anxiety so fucking bad.
4:15
SPEAKER_00: Like all this shit, right?
4:16
SPEAKER_00: So I created them, changed my life, changed every woman's life that ever I even encountered because we brought in like trauma-informed fitness, fucking hormones.
4:23
SPEAKER_00: Like before it was fucking cool, like it was just changing the fucking game.
4:28
SPEAKER_00: Women were finding themselves again, they were feeling hot.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: It was just like an identity.
4:32
SPEAKER_00: Because a hot mom to me and to a lot of you is it's an energy.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: It is an energy.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: It is no matter what, she's hot.
4:39
SPEAKER_00: She owns this.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: Yes, she's a mom.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: Yes, she's this, but she's also fucking hot.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: I was it was all good there for a minute, right?
4:46
SPEAKER_00: And we felt good, things were moving along.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: We moved and I saw the fucking Frenchies.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: I got a Frenchie.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: All right, got the French bulldog, and that brought in it was okay with one dog.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: And the next year, Skip wanted another Frenchie.
4:59
SPEAKER_00: We got another dog, and that was just it was a lot.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: It became too much, right?
5:04
SPEAKER_00: Became too much.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: And and look, we went through that house fire where we almost died in the middle of the night.
5:09
SPEAKER_00: No shit, doesn't I've saved our fucking life.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, that's cool, forever grateful.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: However, fast forward, the other Frenchie did not work out because of her health conditions.
5:18
SPEAKER_00: We gave her back to the breeder, the breeders got her because this fucking dog was literally allergic to air.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: It was like, I can't tell you what it was doing to our mental health.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: And we were spending so much fucking money on this dog.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't care how much money you got, it was a nightmare.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: So there we were with two fucking dogs, with two kids, busy.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: It was so much.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: I can't even tell you how much it was like energetically on my plate.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: And I knew and I used to tell people this, I was like, honestly, if you're a new parent, you're better off living in an apartment with no dogs.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: I know that sounds like no fun, but when you're a new parent to have a small apartment, it's easy with little kids.
5:49
SPEAKER_00: There's beautiful communities because we've lived in apartments and they were like resort style, like bad apartments.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: You thought you were at a resort.
5:55
SPEAKER_00: So people with money live there.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: It was cool.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: Kids have a sense of community.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to mow the lawn, you don't have to worry about something breaking.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: It's like, because when you have kids, that's what's easy.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of these apartments, everything's there.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: The community's safe.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: It's just great.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: And then that's why that's what I suggest though.
6:12
SPEAKER_00: Don't get a dog in apartments, right?
6:14
SPEAKER_00: It's just easy when your capacity is just low when you've got kids and all this shit.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: It's hard.
6:18
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I didn't do that.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: And then my fucking ass went and got a damn nother golden retriever.
6:23
SPEAKER_00: Y'all, last year, those of you that were following me, I was doing so good.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: I was doing so fucking good.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: And then we got this fucking dog.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: And I'm a troll and informed coach, like nervous system capacity, fitness girl.
6:33
SPEAKER_00: This fucking dog threw me over the edge because it was like having another baby.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: He was, it was up.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: You had to get up on that.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: He was, oh my God.
6:39
SPEAKER_00: What's coming when you think you're done having babies?
6:41
SPEAKER_00: You have another baby on an accident, right?
6:44
SPEAKER_00: We love our kids, but you do look at yourself and go, What the fuck?
6:48
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if I should have done this.
6:49
SPEAKER_00: And I did.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: I struggled after my first with postporum depression.
6:52
SPEAKER_00: I loved being a mom, but it was really hard for me because I didn't know, I didn't sleep.
6:57
SPEAKER_00: And I was, it triggers every bit of trauma you have in your body having a kid.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: Meanwhile, the whole internet's like, oh, your whole life, your world, your heart.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: And then I'm sitting there like, and then, oh, you should be happy, you know, your baby's healthy.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just sitting over there, like, first of all, I got no right of hunting because she said two dogs.
7:13
SPEAKER_00: I said, it's so hard having kids with a dog, right?
7:16
SPEAKER_00: And she does hunting, two dogs.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh my God, let's just have a moment of silence.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: I said, is it bad that sometimes I will count down the years until my dog dies?
7:24
SPEAKER_00: Because I want relief so bad and less responsibility.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: And it's not bad.
7:27
SPEAKER_00: It just means I'm maxed out.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: It means my capacity is fucking tapped, right?
7:32
SPEAKER_00: And just because you have these feelings sometimes about your kids where you're like, oh, like they're getting on your nerves or you're snapping, whatever, you're just, you just need a fucking break.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: Hot morals needs a break.
7:41
SPEAKER_00: This is why women lose their shit.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, a lot of them lose their help because they feel so they don't know how to choose themselves because they feel bad about it.
7:48
SPEAKER_00: You know, you can't say this shit everywhere, but I'm gonna say it.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I've counted down the days that my dog's gonna die before.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: And then the next day, if I get rest or something, I'm like, oh, I love this little dog or whatever.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: My kids, I have because we don't have any help.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: We don't have by choice, we don't live anywhere near our families by choice.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: His parents are dead, mine are basically dead.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: We have to pay for help if we ever got it.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: We homeschool.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: So y'all remember COVID when everybody went crazy when the kids are out of school?
8:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we live that shit every day.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: We homeschool, we do all this stuff, and I run a very successful company, and my husband and I have been together 20 years and we do it, right?
8:19
SPEAKER_00: But I say all that because dogs make things harder.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: Dogs are incredible, right?
8:23
SPEAKER_00: But they're one more thing you gotta take care of.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: And with kids and stuff, it's just when you're maxed out and you're capped out, you don't need to have another kid right away.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: Don't.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: And if you do, you need to make sure that you, like I said, maybe you move into an apartment.
8:35
SPEAKER_00: Well, how can you make your life fucking easier?
8:37
SPEAKER_00: But if you do have those feelings and those emotions, like why didn't I have kids?
8:40
SPEAKER_00: I wish I wouldn't have had kids and stuff, you're definitely tired.
8:43
SPEAKER_00: You're definitely tired.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: It will pass.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: You need some help, is what that means.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: Resentment's not going to cut it.
8:48
SPEAKER_00: Resenting your partner and wishing you had more.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: That's you need more help.
8:52
SPEAKER_00: You need support, and you need to be in a community where women can freely say these things without being judged.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: And we're not numbing out with wine anymore.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: That's not cool anymore.
9:00
SPEAKER_00: That was one of my number one numbing agents was wine.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: Every fucking day, that was the only thing I look forward to.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: That chocolate and a CD.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: And when the kids went to bed, and I knew right away, coming from substance abuse and alcoholism, that when you start looking forward to boons, or when you start when you have to have boons to relax, you know you're in a bad place.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: And like I said, I'm not saying this to judge, I'm saying this for awareness because I want you to take care of yourself.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: We want you to take care of yourself.
9:25
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
9:26
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
9:26
SPEAKER_00: So if you do, if you're feeling overwhelmed, overburdened, like it is hard to have two dogs.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: It's hard to have one dog and kids.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: That's why, you know, fuck what society and culture says.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: You gotta take care of yourself.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: Your mental health is number fucking one.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: And if you do have bad thoughts and stuff like that, it's your body signaling that you need some help with the housework or with just somebody for it.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: No, he loves Pellegrino lids.
9:48
SPEAKER_00: He loves Pellegrino lids, let me tell you.
9:51
SPEAKER_00: But he's the baby.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: No.
9:53
SPEAKER_00: Oh, is he not the cutest?
9:54
SPEAKER_00: You see what I'm saying?
9:55
SPEAKER_00: If I had ovaries, I would probably have another child.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: But I got that shit removed quickly.
9:59
SPEAKER_00: I had a total strike to me electively after my second child because I was like, okay, I'm done.
10:04
SPEAKER_00: No more of this shit.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: This was fucking hard, right?
10:06
SPEAKER_00: Hey, Magic, get out.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: Should I give it to him?
10:08
SPEAKER_00: Nah, there'll be somebody in the comments talking about how plastic is bad.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: And I don't really feel like fucking weeding y'all shit out of my fucking comments.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: But anyway, listen, uh, all I'm saying is this.
10:17
SPEAKER_00: I think his moms, if we're real with each other, you love him.
10:20
SPEAKER_00: Is he not the sweetest?
10:22
SPEAKER_00: Is he not the fucking cutest baby?
10:24
SPEAKER_00: Not ever, but I know he's gotten bullets.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: It's sweet eggs.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: No magic.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: I know I love him.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: But I'm just saying, if you've had these feelings, welcome to being a human being.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: You just are fucking tired, you need a break, and you need some moms that are cool as fuck and non-judgmental.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: I can't tell you if I wouldn't have had some of my hot moms, I'm not shitting you.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: They're in there right now.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: Julie Ross shout out her.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: Let's see, who was the other one?
10:44
SPEAKER_00: Nurma, Jamie, and we're coming back.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: This one say we're coming back to hot moms because I'll never forget when I wanted to stop breastfeeding.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: And HMZ is yes, yes.
10:53
SPEAKER_00: But when I wanted to stop breastfeeding, and everybody else was saying shit about it, and these moms, I consider them good moms.
10:59
SPEAKER_00: I watched how their kids treated them.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: I watched how they were around their kids, and I admired it.
11:04
SPEAKER_00: I admired their relationships their kids had with them.
11:06
SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't fake at all, right?
11:08
SPEAKER_00: And they were like, honey, I never I did not breastfeed.
11:10
SPEAKER_00: And my they're very close and all this.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: And me and my kids and my kids and all my kids and me, whatever the fuck, correct grammar.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: We're so close.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: I can't even tell you.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: We're so close.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: We've got each other's backs.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: Magic! No, you can't have this.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: No, you need to get down.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: Good boy.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: I just needed some good moms that was not judgmental, right?
11:27
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
11:28
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
11:28
SPEAKER_00: And all we're saying is it's hard when you got two dogs, two kids, all these things.
11:32
SPEAKER_00: But I promise you, if you continue to wait to the perfect time, wait to this, wait to that, that just don't be messy where you're at now.
11:39
SPEAKER_00: I created a whole company, a whole brand, changed a lot of lives, including mine.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: Messy as fuck where I was.
11:45
SPEAKER_00: And you won't regret it.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: You won't regret it.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: You won't regret it.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: It's better than it's better than ghosting because if you sit there and say, I want to do this when everything is quiet, you're teaching your brain, you're teaching your identity that things can wait and you need to wait till it's perfect.
11:59
SPEAKER_00: It's never gonna be perfect.
12:01
SPEAKER_00: You're in a cycle of here, in a cycle of, I don't want to say like wounded feminine, but ultimately it is because you're the creator.
12:07
SPEAKER_00: It's like you make it work for you, just do it fucking messy, and that's gonna be good enough.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, there was a lot of nuggets in here.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: So I'm looking forward to working with you at Hot Moms.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: Check the link in the bio.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: We've got a lifetime special right now.
12:19
SPEAKER_00: Get in monthly.
12:20
SPEAKER_00: It's super, it's super great.
12:21
SPEAKER_00: We just uploaded a recipe.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: It was like sweet potato pumpkin, not sweet potato, sweet potato protein brownies, dairy free, no sugar.
12:29
SPEAKER_00: All good.
12:29
SPEAKER_00: Everything's in there, culture community.
12:31
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna blow up.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna see it.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna wish you would have joined when you saw this.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna wish you would have taken action because we will not have that life tumping after this.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: Okay, bye.