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How to Break Out of Bad Patterns · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, when you've chosen to tune into this episode, I want to just say thank you.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for taking some time from your day to spend here with me.
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  SPEAKER_00: So today we're going to be talking about old patterns of behavior that don't serve us.
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  SPEAKER_00: As we near the end of the year, oftentimes people start setting or making resolutions for the new year.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I always have a different take on it.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't make these big striking resolutions for the new year, but I start to ask myself what might no longer be serving me, or what habit or pattern of mine might I want to shift and change throughout the course of the next year so that I can find ways to grow and evolve rather than looking at just simply making these blanket resolution statements.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just a little spin on it.
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  SPEAKER_00: So today I just wanted to talk about how we can break those old patterns.
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  SPEAKER_00: So when we think about it, um, with our thoughts, for instance, we have automatic thoughts and they just kind of happen.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um so in a sense, our behavior patterns happen the same way where we just have these automatic patterns, and they're automatic because they have over time we have created neural pathways that have created these patterns of behavior.
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  SPEAKER_00: A majority of our activities every day are actually things that we don't consciously think about anymore because they've become routine.
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  SPEAKER_00: For instance, you know, getting dressed or preparing meals or brushing your teeth, they're just automated.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: They're patterns that we have.
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  SPEAKER_00: Most of us probably have the a pretty similar routine as we get ready in the morning and we don't think about it.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes we have unhealthy behavior patterns that when they stick around, when they are automated and they're on autopilot, they might be holding us back.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: So for instance, even thought processes can be um or thoughts can hold us back, and they've become a patterned thought.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And if we're not willing to recognize it and shift it, we can just stay stuck in that mindset.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: But likewise, today we're talking about just our behaviors.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, um, you know, just thinking about my work, a lot of times I will have clients who will share with me that they they seem to have a pattern of being involved in toxic relationships, or they don't have a great sleep routine, um, or maybe they're consistently late to appointments, or maybe they don't meet uh their deadlines at work, or sometimes the college students I work with have a hard time meeting deadlines in their classes or going to classes.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um of my clients have reported having a pattern of getting burned out.
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  SPEAKER_00: They just don't know how to turn it off.
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  SPEAKER_00: So they're constantly on the go and so they're constantly burning themselves out over and over again.
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  SPEAKER_00: Where do the patterns even come from?
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, when you think about it, our behaviors come from our core beliefs and our value system.
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  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes what ends up happening is we don't rem we actually lose track of our own personal values and we start sort of living to external expectations.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so those patterns almost get shifted and um molded by our environments as well.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times, especially in my work, I will talk about how our limiting beliefs or our negative thought cycles or those false beliefs about self could create these behavior patterns that no longer serve us.
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  SPEAKER_00: And when they no longer serve us, what what are they really doing?
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  SPEAKER_00: They're holding us back.
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  SPEAKER_00: However, it's hard to break them, and it's hard to break them because again, we have these neural pathways that have been kind of set in stone.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I think in in maybe even a previous episode, I've talked about the the metaphor, it's it's um of of these neural pathways.
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  SPEAKER_00: Essentially, it's like a paved highway, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: So a paved highway, it's smooth, there's no bumps, you kind of know where you're headed.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so you go down this path of these patterns, these behavior patterns, and it's difficult to change them because what you're asking yourself to do is is veer off this paved highway and go down this bumpy, unpaved path through maybe a wooded forest.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And what it really comes down to is holding yourself accountable to continue on that path to set those new behavior patterns in place as you do it more and more, you're rebuilding a new neural pathway.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: And to use the metaphor, you're actually smoothing out that path through the wooded forest, and it actually becomes a lot less difficult to go down that path.
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  SPEAKER_00: Every new behavior requires a new neural pathway to be formed.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so the way that we do this again is that repetition.
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  SPEAKER_00: So as you repeat it, as you do it over and over again, that's how you create that smoother pathway, that new neural pathway.
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  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people give up though, because as you're doing that, it's not comfortable and we don't like discomfort.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: As humans, we don't like them.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, what are some tips of breaking these old behavior patterns that don't serve you?
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  SPEAKER_00: The very first thing is awareness.
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  SPEAKER_00: I say this often, awareness is the doorway to change.
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  SPEAKER_00: Once you're aware of something, now you have the power to decide what you want to do with it.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, what habits might be keeping you from moving forward?
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  SPEAKER_00: What habits might be keeping you feeling stagnant or in that in that rut?
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  SPEAKER_00: You know, do you see yourself routinely hanging out with the wrong people or do you see a habit of of getting into the wrong relationships?
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  SPEAKER_00: Do you see a habit of overworking?
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  SPEAKER_00: Do you see a habit of overgiving and over functioning?
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  SPEAKER_00: Slow down and pay attention to what patterns might might not be serving you any longer.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they have in the past, but maybe they're no longer serving you.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then pay attention to what triggers that behavior.
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  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times something will trigger the behavior.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: So pay attention to, you know, um, if if you're looking at the pattern of consistently being late, what triggers that?
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  SPEAKER_00: Do you start, do you start to get involved in something right before it's time to leave?
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  SPEAKER_00: You know, so just paying attention to the triggering factors is really, really important.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then of course you come up with an alternative plan of action.
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  SPEAKER_00: So once you know the pattern you want to change and you know what might trigger you into that pattern, that's when you start to create an alternative plan.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's when you start to be generative and you make a commitment to take a different action.
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  SPEAKER_00: So you learn what you might need.
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  SPEAKER_00: You actually ask yourself, what would I need in order to take a different action here?
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  SPEAKER_00: And you source that and you pay attention to that and you create a plan or a strategy around taking on this new behavior and give yourself permission to try it and maybe even fail, and then try a different strategy to create the new pattern or the new habit that you're trying to put into place.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, it's about celebrating success, even the little ones.
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  SPEAKER_00: So if you're trying to put a new pattern into place that is a huge shift, it's maybe taking that pattern that you're trying to break in or you're trying to shift and break it down into smaller ways of shifting that pattern and then celebrate the success along the way.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: But it is extraordinarily important to recognize that behavior change is not something that happens overnight.
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  SPEAKER_00: I know a lot of us would love to be, you know, decide that this pattern no longer works for us.
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  SPEAKER_00: And some people can.
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  SPEAKER_00: Some people in the past have been able to, for instance, you know, uh quit cold turkey uh with smoking or maybe even with drinking.
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  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but it's important to give yourself time to build a new neural pathway and give yourself permission to celebrate the successes along the way.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you modify your behavior over time, that's gonna help you maintain it versus just trying to change it immediately.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because and this is true of many of us, you know, we'll say, Well, I'm gonna start working out, and so we we go all in and we say, I'm gonna work out every single day of the week, and maybe we do it for a couple weeks, but then somehow we start falling off.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe it's also about giving yourself permission to build into the new pattern rather than trying to do all of it all at once.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Regardless of how you work towards this, it's about recognizing for yourself what serves you and what doesn't serve you, and giving yourself permission to release the things that no longer serve you.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: If you would like to talk at any point in time about how coaching could be helpful for you in this specific instance or in any other instance that's coming up in your world, feel free to book a time to speak with me at chatwithcomedy.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, stay welcome.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: Username it's authenticme.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.