Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / Sex after babies 🫠🍆💦 OUCH!

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Sex after babies 🫠🍆💦 OUCH! · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apodjay production.
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Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the
0:13
Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects
0:16
Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect
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Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today. Welcome
0:25
Speaker 2: to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashley, I'm Kiara.
0:29
Speaker 2: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level
0:31
Speaker 2: up together. Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, combine
0:34
Speaker 2: the lessons to grow and glow.
0:36
Speaker 1: Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow, and
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Speaker 1: we're here to be your expander. Let's talk about sex, baby,
0:46
Speaker 1: Let's talk about you and me. Welcome back to the pod. Guys,
0:50
Speaker 1: we're happy to be here. We are are we talking
0:52
Speaker 1: about sex? Baby? Sex after having a children? This was
0:59
Speaker 1: actually a request that came through one of our dms. Okay, yeah,
1:02
Speaker 1: I think it was mine. I think I came to
1:03
Speaker 1: you and I was like, someone's asked us to talk
1:05
Speaker 1: about this, and I think this is a really cool
1:06
Speaker 1: conversation because a lot can change and as we know
1:10
Speaker 1: as we go through relationships like the relationship dynamic can
1:13
Speaker 1: change so much throughout the different seasons. As you change
1:15
Speaker 1: as you have babies, you get married, go through different jobs,
1:18
Speaker 1: like hardships happen. But yeah, sex after having children can
1:22
Speaker 1: definitely change, especially in the first like three to six months. Yeah.
1:26
Speaker 1: I think we have briefly touched on it before around
1:30
Speaker 1: like how different it was for each of our kids.
1:32
Speaker 1: But in case of missed that episode, we thought we'd
1:34
Speaker 1: just share our personal experiences and chat about the changes
1:37
Speaker 1: so that you don't feel so alone or you think
1:39
Speaker 1: your relationship's broken or your vagina's broken, because it's not.
1:43
Speaker 1: You might just feel it. You might just feel it.
1:47
Speaker 1: And if it does feel broken, there's plenty of things
1:49
Speaker 1: you can do to help it. Yeah, so that's all
1:51
Speaker 1: we want to feel broken forever.
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Speaker 2: No speaking of broken, but the biggest thing I found
1:56
Speaker 2: like adapting was broken sleep.
1:58
Speaker 1: Oh and that in itself.
2:01
Speaker 2: That in itself, like you don't feel sexy when you
2:04
Speaker 2: leak in stuff in your up every hour.
2:08
Speaker 1: Energy, Like the last thing you feel like doing is
2:11
Speaker 1: having sex, Like you're just so sleep deprived. And they
2:14
Speaker 1: actually say like it takes two years for your hormones
2:18
Speaker 1: to actually rebalance out after having a baby.
2:21
Speaker 2: I've heard that that's wild hat so much longer than
2:24
Speaker 2: you would think, yeah, and you don't hear about that,
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Speaker 2: like that's not the stat that you really hear anyone
2:29
Speaker 2: talk about much, but it makes so much sense.
2:31
Speaker 1: It does. Yeah, and it's not to say that you're
2:33
Speaker 1: not gonna not want sex, like everyone's different and depending
2:35
Speaker 1: on your birth, your connection, your time, your sleep, like
2:38
Speaker 1: you know, if you have a collag your baby, if
2:40
Speaker 1: you're getting much sleep some people with libido is high
2:42
Speaker 1: and naturally like you really can't compare, No, you definitely can't.
2:45
Speaker 1: Otherwise you're just gonna feel like absolute crap. But just
2:48
Speaker 1: remember your energy, your body, your hormones, your routine, your priorities,
2:52
Speaker 1: your time, your frequency, your vagina, like so much changes,
2:56
Speaker 1: So take all of that into consideration before being like
2:59
Speaker 1: why am I like this now when I wasn't like
3:01
Speaker 1: this before kids? And it is this how it's going
3:03
Speaker 1: to be forever. That's it.
3:04
Speaker 2: And even to pop on that list like if you
3:05
Speaker 2: have a c section or if you have an episiotomy,
3:08
Speaker 2: you know something like that as well, that's even extra time.
3:11
Speaker 1: Again really is and every birth is going to be
3:13
Speaker 1: so different. So I think obviously won't take up the
3:16
Speaker 1: whole episode, but maybe we briefly talk about our experiences
3:19
Speaker 1: after birth and how it changed. So you've obviously had three,
3:22
Speaker 1: what was it like for your three kids?
3:24
Speaker 2: So for Miller, I had an eppisiotomy, so I feel
3:27
Speaker 2: like I was just so tender down there.
3:29
Speaker 1: I was really really sore and.
3:31
Speaker 2: Just adjusting for your first time. I feel like it's
3:34
Speaker 2: just such a shock.
3:34
Speaker 1: To the system.
3:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then Link I had second degree tearing because
3:39
Speaker 2: it came so quickly, so again obviously feeling pretty tender
3:43
Speaker 2: and sore. And then Reggie was a sea section, so
3:46
Speaker 2: that was a whole nother ballgame. I ended up after
3:49
Speaker 2: two weeks as well, having to go back to the
3:51
Speaker 2: hospital because like my scar just wasn't healing right. And
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Speaker 2: I feel like with Reagan having the sea section, it
3:57
Speaker 2: definitely for me personally took a bit longer because I
4:00
Speaker 2: was just so tender and so sore.
4:02
Speaker 1: So like, your vagina was obviously okay, but everything else
4:05
Speaker 1: just felt more tender, really tender. Yeah. Yeah, and you still.
4:09
Speaker 2: Bleed, which like I didn't know that that happened initially,
4:13
Speaker 2: and I was a bit like, oh, because I bled
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Speaker 2: like the most out of anyone, and for the longest
4:17
Speaker 2: with Reagan, because your.
4:18
Speaker 1: Body still has to shed all so it's.
4:20
Speaker 2: The exact same thing that. Yeah, so I fled so
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Speaker 2: much with REGs.
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Speaker 1: How about you, So, how long after each child was
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Speaker 1: it that you could have sex and that you felt
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Speaker 1: like sex?
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Speaker 2: With Miller, I feel like we were jumped back in
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Speaker 2: it too quickly. I feel like we didn't wait as
4:37
Speaker 2: long as what they say too, so I wouldn't recommend that.
4:41
Speaker 2: But then I feel like with the others, we're not
4:44
Speaker 2: having sex regularly. It's not like we're fully like jumping in.
4:48
Speaker 2: I think maybe even with Reagan it was a long guy,
4:50
Speaker 2: but I just remember like easing into it, yeah, and
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Speaker 2: it not being like.
4:54
Speaker 1: Going back to like you know.
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Speaker 2: All that as in gently, very gentle, listening to my
4:59
Speaker 2: body and obviously just like where I was atting my healing.
5:02
Speaker 2: I feel like with Miller, I stopped bleeding off like
5:04
Speaker 2: two weeks, so with her it was actually like okay,
5:07
Speaker 2: like I felt pretty good and I feel like I
5:08
Speaker 2: healed quite well. But then, like I said, with Reagan,
5:11
Speaker 2: it seemed to take longer. So from memory, I feel
5:13
Speaker 2: like it took us a bit longer. But I do
5:15
Speaker 2: remember that first time feeling really uncomfortable with Miller and
5:18
Speaker 2: link because I had stitches and it took a while
5:21
Speaker 2: for it to actually feel enjoyable again and completely comfortable.
5:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, with my first who's eight now nearly nine, long
5:31
Speaker 1: time ago, but I remember so clearly, it was probably
5:34
Speaker 1: five months until I could have sex because I had
5:37
Speaker 1: second degree tearing and I had the stitches. Like that's
5:40
Speaker 1: damage down there, Like it actually takes so much time
5:42
Speaker 1: to heal. So they told me, like three months. I
5:44
Speaker 1: don't even try with three months because otherwise you are
5:47
Speaker 1: like risking and doing more damage. So I listened to that.
5:50
Speaker 1: I just did not feel ready. Yeah, and I was
5:53
Speaker 1: so tired. I just was not coping with being a
5:56
Speaker 1: new mum. I just sex drive was at an all
5:58
Speaker 1: time low. I was like still running a multimillion dollar
6:01
Speaker 1: business too, with all stuff, had stuff like at my
6:03
Speaker 1: house all day. It was just I don't know, everything
6:06
Speaker 1: was switched off. I was a huge I was survival.
6:09
Speaker 1: I was really just surviving. And even at five months,
6:12
Speaker 1: I remember I got a woman's physio and she did
6:14
Speaker 1: an internal and an external check and internally I remember
6:18
Speaker 1: her putting her fingers inside me and kind of moving
6:20
Speaker 1: them around like a clock. And as she moved around
6:23
Speaker 1: she was like, I'm gonna go eight o'clock, nine o'clock,
6:25
Speaker 1: you tell me if you feel anything. And it got
6:27
Speaker 1: to two o'clock and I was like, oh oh, and
6:30
Speaker 1: she's like, that's not healed. That is still tender and
6:33
Speaker 1: it's still raw, like sex is going to her. So
6:36
Speaker 1: you probably need more time, and if not, just be
6:38
Speaker 1: so gentle because like me touching that. So I remember
6:41
Speaker 1: we tried it five months and it was just like
6:44
Speaker 1: oh and he had to go so gentle and it
6:46
Speaker 1: was not enjoyable and I was like ooh, so it
6:48
Speaker 1: was really long for him. With Tala, I still had
6:52
Speaker 1: a little bit of tearing. I wanted to wait, at
6:54
Speaker 1: least I think I had in my head like six
6:55
Speaker 1: weeks just to let everything heal. But I was ready
6:58
Speaker 1: to go. My sex drivers through the roof. I felt amazing.
7:01
Speaker 1: I just felt happy and content and just I just
7:04
Speaker 1: felt so much better. So I was ready and it
7:06
Speaker 1: felt good really quickly. Did you feel really good? It did? Yeah,
7:09
Speaker 1: that's good.
7:10
Speaker 2: I felt like I remember my first like five times
7:12
Speaker 2: were just like I didn't feel the same, but also
7:15
Speaker 2: like we're not the same.
7:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you went really quickly though, like a couple
7:18
Speaker 1: of weeks is not long for it to repair.
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Speaker 2: Because what my guyne collegist had said to me, when
7:22
Speaker 2: you stop bleeding, Yeah, okay, that's the green light that
7:26
Speaker 2: you were right. And I remember I stopped bleeding really
7:28
Speaker 2: quick with me, so I know it was like soon,
7:31
Speaker 2: but I know the other two it took longer, So
7:32
Speaker 2: I waited longer.
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Speaker 1: So I got told get checked at eight weeks, like
7:36
Speaker 1: internally by physio so they can check the damage and
7:39
Speaker 1: check it at all and check your polic floor and everything.
7:41
Speaker 1: But with different doctors as well, and everything, isn't it. Yeah,
7:46
Speaker 1: And honestly as well, she probably didn't expect me to
7:49
Speaker 1: stop bleeding after a couple of weeks, And here I
7:51
Speaker 1: am holding onto the gospel where I'm like, once I
7:53
Speaker 1: stopped bleeding, that's my green light. Two weeks are so good.
7:57
Speaker 1: I was at least five or six weeks bleeding, I think.
8:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that was me with the other two. Yeah,
8:04
Speaker 2: but I didn't they did it pisiotomy. I don't know.
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Speaker 1: It's just your body, Hay. Everyone's just so different. So yeah,
8:11
Speaker 1: we just wanted to share those so that like if
8:13
Speaker 1: you were listening and being like, oh my gosh, it's
8:15
Speaker 1: been so long, like you're not alone, and it does
8:17
Speaker 1: get better, like it really does, and it can be
8:19
Speaker 1: better than before because you can be more connected and
8:21
Speaker 1: you just changed so much and evolved so much. So
8:24
Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know, I just wanted new mums
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Speaker 1: listening to be like, Okay, I'm not alone in this.
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Speaker 1: My vagina's not broken, my relationship is not broken. It
8:30
Speaker 1: is a season new motherhood, having a new baby, Like
8:33
Speaker 1: your priorities really do shift. It's more about the baby
8:35
Speaker 1: at that point.
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Speaker 2: Life and it's just different, like different positions feel different.
8:39
Speaker 2: So it's now navigating what feels good and what feels bad. Gosh,
8:43
Speaker 2: I know so many talk with Doggie like love dogg
8:47
Speaker 2: in your hand, and then they're like, just doesn't feel
8:48
Speaker 2: the same.
8:49
Speaker 1: I feel like most of my friends. Yeah, definitely for
8:51
Speaker 1: me too, like it just does not feel the same.
8:53
Speaker 2: But then I feel like lately now but it's been
8:55
Speaker 2: four years since I've had any kids, I'm like, Okay,
8:57
Speaker 2: it actually is okay again.
8:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe it just takes you know, so much time
9:02
Speaker 1: apparently with Dogy. God, this is soap. I remember one
9:06
Speaker 1: of my girlfriends explained it to me because she was
9:08
Speaker 1: like deeping the rabbit hole because she used to love
9:09
Speaker 1: that position and now hates it. But apparently because when
9:12
Speaker 1: you give birth and you have a baby, the baby
9:14
Speaker 1: pushes all your organs down, so it's just like everything's dropped.
9:19
Speaker 1: So that position, because it goes so deep inside you,
9:23
Speaker 1: it just like it hurts the wrong spot, not the
9:26
Speaker 1: right one. It's the wrong spot. But once again, not
9:29
Speaker 1: for everyone, but it doesn't hurt for me. But it's
9:32
Speaker 1: definitely not comfort rule.
9:34
Speaker 2: It's too hard yes yes yea navigating new things to
9:39
Speaker 2: make it feel comfortable, and things that felt great before
9:42
Speaker 2: you might go, oh my gosh, I don't like that
9:43
Speaker 2: anymore one percent.
9:45
Speaker 1: Another thing that I highly recommend any new mother and
9:49
Speaker 1: anyone in general is getting a full blood count every
9:52
Speaker 1: single year. Get all of your bloods done because you
9:54
Speaker 1: could be so deficient in something like vitamin D, which
9:58
Speaker 1: fully affects your energy, and if you're not energized and
10:01
Speaker 1: feeling great, and it's going to affect your mood, it's
10:02
Speaker 1: going to affect what you eat like it's just the spiral,
10:05
Speaker 1: like this snowball effect that then affects you a libido
10:08
Speaker 1: and your sex drive because at the end of the
10:09
Speaker 1: day when you are tied and feeling crap and you
10:11
Speaker 1: looked after kids all day, Like it's just it's very
10:13
Speaker 1: hard to get in that mood, you know. So I
10:15
Speaker 1: would recommend getting a full blood count done and just
10:18
Speaker 1: get any assistance that you need for anything that you're
10:20
Speaker 1: deficient in and like need more support with supplements and herbs.
10:23
Speaker 2: And even a meal what's it called, like meals stown
10:26
Speaker 2: up your house like a meals like a chef good
10:29
Speaker 2: meal service.
10:29
Speaker 1: So I must just like brain fart, It's like, what
10:31
Speaker 1: is that?
10:33
Speaker 2: A meal service to your house is such an amazing
10:35
Speaker 2: thing too, because it'll just keep you eating right, you know,
10:38
Speaker 2: having enough to eat. Because I feel like any new
10:40
Speaker 2: mom like fire out. Like if you've got a new
10:42
Speaker 2: mom friend and you want to buy something, buy your food,
10:45
Speaker 2: make make her food.
10:47
Speaker 1: That was ganger. I very very well for both my kids,
10:50
Speaker 1: like twelve weeks afterwards, Like I've never been so stretched
10:54
Speaker 1: with my diet, Like nothing processed or unclean went into
10:56
Speaker 1: my body. But I had a dueler with Tala, so
10:59
Speaker 1: she made all the food that's like studied by the
11:01
Speaker 1: Chinese medicine and just in cultures where they really look
11:04
Speaker 1: after the mama and the mom completely rare like Billy
11:06
Speaker 1: gets out of bed, and a lot of countries and cultures.
11:08
Speaker 1: So she made all this beautiful food and that helps
11:11
Speaker 1: with your healing internally, like you can't You might feel great,
11:13
Speaker 1: but you can actually see what's gone on in your body.
11:16
Speaker 1: It's a huge thing to give birth to a baby
11:18
Speaker 1: in a PLA center, go through pregnancy and breastfeeding, like
11:20
Speaker 1: it's a lot going on. It's your nutrition.
11:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, see, I feel like the miller. My nutrition went
11:25
Speaker 2: out the window. I just didn't have the capacity.
11:27
Speaker 1: We had.
11:27
Speaker 2: Heaps of appointments were going to after having her because
11:30
Speaker 2: obviously she was born very underweight. She had a cleft,
11:33
Speaker 2: so we had to like prep for surgery. So I
11:35
Speaker 2: just gave so much my attention to her. So like
11:37
Speaker 2: on reflection, looking back, that's something that I wish I did,
11:40
Speaker 2: or even I wish I was maybe more organized before
11:43
Speaker 2: having her.
11:44
Speaker 1: Which I don't want to told you because you were
11:45
Speaker 1: so young, none of your friends had have kids. I
11:47
Speaker 1: didn't know it was now like whenever our friends have kids,
11:50
Speaker 1: Like there's meal train dot com and everyone books in
11:52
Speaker 1: a day where they're gonna make it, and like I
11:53
Speaker 1: was always when it makes this house, just taken new snacks,
11:55
Speaker 1: new meals, and like that's just what we do now,
11:58
Speaker 1: but it's life back then, like no, no, on the dean.
12:01
Speaker 1: I offered to do it for the dean. I was like,
12:02
Speaker 1: let me make your stuff. She's like, have you seen
12:04
Speaker 1: my freezer? I am so prepped. She'd made like six
12:07
Speaker 1: weeks worth of food in her freezer. She's like, I'm
12:09
Speaker 1: ready to go. It's amazing. Yeah, but you just didn't
12:11
Speaker 1: know that back then because you were so young at home.
12:13
Speaker 2: I'm not working anymore, Like I got have all this
12:15
Speaker 2: extra time, and it's like, no, oh, if only it
12:19
Speaker 2: was that easy, only it was that easy.
12:21
Speaker 1: Yes, oh my goodness. I think it's also important to
12:25
Speaker 1: just look back on prior to having kids, like what
12:28
Speaker 1: did make you feel good, what put you in the mood,
12:30
Speaker 1: what turned you on? Are they still the same things
12:33
Speaker 1: or is there different things to explore? And that also
12:36
Speaker 1: opens up conversations with your partner as well, because if
12:39
Speaker 1: you're not checking in because you are changing constantly, what
12:42
Speaker 1: you know, you might have been a real saucy like
12:44
Speaker 1: you know, dressing in lingerie and like doing all these things,
12:47
Speaker 1: but maybe you're a little bit more self conscious now.
12:48
Speaker 1: So there's other ways that you can feel more feminine
12:50
Speaker 1: and drop into that energy without wearing lingerie. It might
12:53
Speaker 1: just be changing the mood, lighting and putting music on
12:56
Speaker 1: and lighting candles, but like, just how can you drop
12:59
Speaker 1: into taking the mum hat off and dropping back into yourself,
13:03
Speaker 1: into your sensual energy and connect back to your relationship.
13:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, and learning to accept your new body. I feel
13:09
Speaker 2: like I really accepted myself with Reagan, but it was
13:12
Speaker 2: harder to look in the mirror at certain points, Like
13:14
Speaker 2: when I saw the massive scar on my stomach, I
13:17
Speaker 2: was like, wow, like that's going to be there now,
13:19
Speaker 2: and like I've got to learn to.
13:20
Speaker 1: Love and accept this.
13:21
Speaker 2: And although I wasn't like rushing to like get back
13:24
Speaker 2: to the gym or do any of those things and
13:25
Speaker 2: took it really slow with REGs, I do feel like
13:28
Speaker 2: that very initial time you see what your body is
13:31
Speaker 2: going to look like, like I'm with the first time
13:33
Speaker 2: looking in the mirror as well, and you're just like whoa,
13:35
Speaker 2: because you think, like you have the baby and the
13:37
Speaker 2: baby's gone.
13:38
Speaker 1: Why do I still look pregnant? That's it? Why do
13:40
Speaker 1: I still look pregnant?
13:41
Speaker 2: But I feel like it's really cool this day and age,
13:43
Speaker 2: Like on social media, people are sharing more of that,
13:45
Speaker 2: which is really really cool.
13:47
Speaker 1: Reasuring that you're not the only one going through it. Yeah,
13:50
Speaker 1: it's normal for your body to change.
13:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, but your partner's got to be patient with you
13:53
Speaker 2: because you're learning to accept this new version of yourself
13:55
Speaker 2: and feel sexy in this new body. It's kind of
13:58
Speaker 2: you know, just making sure that they're okay with supporting
14:01
Speaker 2: you to and helping you to feel more sexy in
14:04
Speaker 2: yourself and reassuring you.
14:06
Speaker 1: It is so much change in your body, hay, like
14:09
Speaker 1: the weight gain and then even like when you lose
14:11
Speaker 1: the weight, like the wrinkles, Like your skin's been so stretched,
14:14
Speaker 1: Like I remember first, like I just sat down to
14:16
Speaker 1: my makeup one day and I must have just been
14:17
Speaker 1: undies and it was the first time i'd seen with Tarj.
14:19
Speaker 1: I didn't feel like it got like that. Yeah, it
14:22
Speaker 1: was so stretched that what did it look like? Skin
14:24
Speaker 1: like an elephants? Try, like just like excess skin, like wrinkly,
14:28
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, and I had a moment
14:30
Speaker 1: of like I don't like that, but I don't hate it.
14:33
Speaker 1: But it's just different. It's different, but this is your
14:35
Speaker 1: body now. Yeah, you don't have to do anything about that.
14:38
Speaker 1: You don't have to lose more weight, you don't have
14:39
Speaker 1: to turn up more like and I had to have
14:40
Speaker 1: a moment of just like almost doing mirror work. I'm
14:43
Speaker 1: just looking at myself and like, just because you've seen
14:45
Speaker 1: that doesn't change anything about you. That carried your child.
14:47
Speaker 1: You're still beautiful, you're still strong, Like okay, just different
14:51
Speaker 1: being an acceptance of that. Yeah.
14:53
Speaker 2: And I think something too with C sections that I
14:55
Speaker 2: don't hear people talk about often is the shelf.
14:58
Speaker 1: Have you heard about the shelf?
14:59
Speaker 2: No. It's a major sourgery, right, So it's such a
15:03
Speaker 2: huge scar. They go through so many different layers and
15:05
Speaker 2: there's a big amount of scar tissue that is still
15:08
Speaker 2: there after even now for me it's four years ago,
15:11
Speaker 2: so there is a shelf there and I get asked still,
15:13
Speaker 2: people message me like do you have that, And I'm like,
15:15
Speaker 2: I do, but it's like hidden until your undies and that.
15:18
Speaker 2: But from the side I get comments obviously with being online,
15:21
Speaker 2: people going like, oh, you're pregnant because there is that
15:24
Speaker 2: like down the bottom where you scar is, it's right
15:27
Speaker 2: above where my scar is. There's scar tissue and it's
15:29
Speaker 2: actually like hard to like you can feel it. Yeah,
15:32
Speaker 2: it's like, have you had any like big scars? No? Yeah,
15:36
Speaker 2: So basically what happens is it heels, and maybe I
15:39
Speaker 2: could have looked after it better when it was healing,
15:41
Speaker 2: but also like being a new mum, it's actually you know,
15:44
Speaker 2: one of those harder things to prioritize.
15:46
Speaker 1: At the timing.
15:47
Speaker 2: People say to me, like, you never hear anyone talk
15:49
Speaker 2: about that, but if anyone has a sea section, you're
15:51
Speaker 2: listening and you're like, you know, I never hear anyone
15:53
Speaker 2: talk about because it's so low you don't see it.
15:55
Speaker 2: But when you take your clothes off and you take
15:57
Speaker 2: your aunties off, you see it yourself. They go, so, yeah,
16:01
Speaker 2: I feel like most people I know that I've had
16:02
Speaker 2: a sea section have it.
16:04
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, that's so interesting, which makes sense with what
16:07
Speaker 1: you've been through ye since arian it's major surgery. It's huge,
16:10
Speaker 1: major surgery.
16:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the cigars like massive.
16:13
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think people just normalize like, oh, I'm just
16:15
Speaker 1: having a C section, but like, no, no, no, that is
16:17
Speaker 1: major surgery. You've been cut open through your muscles, like
16:21
Speaker 1: through all those layers and pulled open like pulled a
16:24
Speaker 1: huge Yeah, it's major, it's huge. Another thing that I
16:28
Speaker 1: think as women, we need a lot of for play,
16:31
Speaker 1: And I'm not talking just in the bedroom. There's so
16:34
Speaker 1: many like physical and emotional micro moments throughout the day
16:38
Speaker 1: that actually help us drop in, feel safe, feel beautiful,
16:42
Speaker 1: feel wanted, feel desired that leads us to what actually
16:46
Speaker 1: wants to have sex and then near the connection and
16:49
Speaker 1: then in the bedroom too. They say we need twenty
16:52
Speaker 1: to forty minutes. Most guys like read it up. Yeah,
16:57
Speaker 1: I'm ready. Yeah, it's literally they've got an direction and
16:59
Speaker 1: they are ready to go, whereas for us, like it
17:01
Speaker 1: takes a lot longer for us to be really ready.
17:04
Speaker 1: So just like having those conversations with your partner and
17:06
Speaker 1: how that looks for you, Like is it more physical touch,
17:08
Speaker 1: is it more words of affirmations, is it more check ins?
17:11
Speaker 1: Like is it more compliments? Like what what kind of
17:14
Speaker 1: micro moments do you need that helps you feel loved
17:16
Speaker 1: and desired? Yeah? Definitely, I think is really important.
17:20
Speaker 2: And yeah, it's really hard to want to connect with
17:23
Speaker 2: your partner in the bedroom if you're not connecting with
17:26
Speaker 2: them outside the bedroom, Because I mean, I know it's
17:28
Speaker 2: hard though, when you're in that season, but also if
17:30
Speaker 2: you're not connecting with yourself.
17:32
Speaker 1: I feel like whenever I go through phases.
17:33
Speaker 2: In life where I'm feeling disconnected from myself, I'm not
17:36
Speaker 2: feeling like my sexy self either. So true, Yeah, I
17:40
Speaker 2: need the connection with you and also with them, and
17:42
Speaker 2: just know that it's a season, like it's not going
17:45
Speaker 2: to last forever how you're feeling, And it's one of
17:48
Speaker 2: the most amazing, beautiful gifts in the whole entire world.
17:52
Speaker 1: But it's also like one of the most challenging things. True,
17:54
Speaker 1: the polarity. Holy moly, so many feelings. Yes, and I
17:58
Speaker 1: think a lot of women don't talk about it enough.
18:00
Speaker 1: But self pleasure like actually getting to know your body again.
18:03
Speaker 1: And that's what a y only massage I've booked in.
18:05
Speaker 1: Have you booked in I've got my period? Did you
18:08
Speaker 1: ask for about that?
18:09
Speaker 2: No?
18:09
Speaker 1: Because it looks like I maybe do as well, So
18:11
Speaker 1: I'm just got to play it by year, Okay. Anyway,
18:13
Speaker 1: what she took get there eventually. What she was talking
18:17
Speaker 1: about too, is like self pleasure and actually exploring your
18:20
Speaker 1: body and down there does change a lot, So it
18:23
Speaker 1: is important that you actually know what feels good for you,
18:25
Speaker 1: and you explore that and spend time with your body
18:28
Speaker 1: and love on your body. That can start with like
18:30
Speaker 1: your moisturizing creams and your body oils, but then like
18:33
Speaker 1: mirror work, which might be uncomfortable as well, but like yeah,
18:36
Speaker 1: really being okay with like self pleasuring as well. So
18:39
Speaker 1: I think a lot of mums do not do that. No,
18:42
Speaker 1: and that is not something that should ever be to
18:44
Speaker 1: boo or uncomfortable to talk about or uncomfortable to do.
18:47
Speaker 2: And journal on it, like what's coming up for you
18:49
Speaker 2: around that? Like why does it feeluncomfortable? And what have
18:52
Speaker 2: you got to do to get to that point where
18:54
Speaker 2: you feel sexy again? And you know, like we all
18:57
Speaker 2: deserve to feel pleasure.
18:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah the only massage. If you haven't listened
19:02
Speaker 1: to that episode, go back and listen to it, because
19:04
Speaker 1: that's what a lot of the healing in a yearning
19:05
Speaker 1: message is for when people hear yeoning message. I saw
19:08
Speaker 1: some in the forum too and was like, oh my gosh.
19:10
Speaker 1: She made a comment like finally I've been wondering why
19:12
Speaker 1: there isn't a happy ending thing for women. I was like, no, no, no,
19:15
Speaker 1: it's not. This is I mean if you want that,
19:18
Speaker 1: I'm sure you can go high someone with that, Like,
19:20
Speaker 1: this is not what it's about. It's actually like a
19:22
Speaker 1: spiritual healing and she can do womb healing. And anyone
19:25
Speaker 1: with sexual trauma or birth trauma or just any barriers
19:30
Speaker 1: that you have in your sexuality, in your sexual energy.
19:34
Speaker 1: That's what a YI massage is for. If you're saying
19:37
Speaker 1: yes to any of that. Been Like, oh, that feels
19:39
Speaker 1: like me like booking for a yearning massage. Like I
19:41
Speaker 1: don't think I have any sexual trauma. Maybe a bit
19:44
Speaker 1: of birth trauma from tage, but I feel like the
19:46
Speaker 1: birth with Tyler healed that. But like, I'm just so
19:49
Speaker 1: open and excited to see what comes up for me.
19:50
Speaker 2: I've been told by two different Keelers that I have
19:54
Speaker 2: got generational so it's not even me, Like I haven't
19:58
Speaker 2: had any of that stuff happened to me in my life,
20:00
Speaker 2: but it's passed down in me.
20:02
Speaker 1: It's generational. So I believe in generational trauma. So how
20:05
Speaker 1: cool to be able to clear that. So if you've
20:07
Speaker 1: had a really traumatic birth, and she said a lot
20:10
Speaker 1: of women go to her because they have a lot
20:11
Speaker 1: of pain when they have sex, and they go to
20:14
Speaker 1: her and she can fully clear that. So go back
20:16
Speaker 1: and listen to the episode because that is so like
20:17
Speaker 1: relatable to what we're talking about today. So I hope
20:21
Speaker 1: you guys enjoyed that. We just wanted to touch on
20:23
Speaker 1: it because it was a request that came through. And
20:24
Speaker 1: I think it's an important conversation to have with your girlfriends.
20:27
Speaker 1: But if you don't have girlfriends around you having these conversations,
20:29
Speaker 1: then that's what we're here for. And you guys always
20:31
Speaker 1: love the sex potties. Yeah, we actually look at the
20:34
Speaker 1: downloads like we look at stats to see what you
20:36
Speaker 1: guys have enjoyed the most, and anything to do with
20:39
Speaker 1: sex they scottracket. It's like three times more downloads. So
20:44
Speaker 1: if there's anything else you would love to hear, like
20:46
Speaker 1: best the advice or just like our opinion on pop
20:48
Speaker 1: in the forum, that's where we kind of like get
20:50
Speaker 1: a lot of the ideas from as well. Just search
20:53
Speaker 1: Grow and Glow on Facebook and we'll add you in there.
20:56
Speaker 1: And we've also got something really exciting coming out. I
20:59
Speaker 1: know we have not revealed any of this. The clue
21:01
Speaker 1: that we've just been giving the whole time is we've
21:04
Speaker 1: never seen anything like that this like research high and low,
21:06
Speaker 1: there was nothing that's nothing like this, and like we
21:09
Speaker 1: are so excited to do it.
21:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just so different, amazing.
21:14
Speaker 1: I'm so excited for this. Plus we have a restock
21:17
Speaker 1: of our healing journal. Yes, in the forum even this
21:19
Speaker 1: morning there was so many requests wanting that it is coming.
21:22
Speaker 1: We were waiting for the shipment and then I was
21:24
Speaker 1: in Europe. We have to do a photo shoot for
21:25
Speaker 1: the new product. So tonight in our hotel room, we're
21:28
Speaker 1: going to plan it all out. But new product coming
21:31
Speaker 1: and restock, so so exciting, exciting. I'm so excited for
21:35
Speaker 1: you guys, gonna be pumped for the new product comes. Well,
21:37
Speaker 1: I know, I can't wait for it. Like it's cool, Yeah,
21:39
Speaker 1: it's o. You're proud of us. Thank you so much
21:43
Speaker 1: for joining us. If you haven't yet already, make sure
21:46
Speaker 1: you hit it subscribes, you don't miss any of our episodes.
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Speaker 1: that and it does support us as well. So thank
22:00
Speaker 1: you guys.
22:01
Speaker 2: Thanks guys, bye bye,