Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / "Why Love Wins: A Real Conversation About Faith, Connection & Choosing Love on Purpose. #BonusEpisode

Transcript

"Why Love Wins: A Real Conversation About Faith, Connection & Choosing Love on Purpose. #BonusEpisode · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Greetings, greetings and welcome Sweet Spotters.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: You are listening to the Sweet Spot, but it's not just the Sweet Spot today, it is the Sweet Spot meeting Wisdom on Wednesday.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: It is my pleasure, my absolute pleasure, my joy, to have the host of Wisdom on Wednesday here on the Sweet Spot, our very first guest.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: We have never had a guest on the Sweet Spot, but because we're doing this series called Be Love, I thought it would be a great idea to bring the host of one of my absolute favorite podcasts, wisdom, on Wednesday Darcelle Dillard-Sweet y'all.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: She's actually here, live and is going to talk to us about this concept that we've been working on all week called being loved.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Darcelle, welcome to the Sweet Spot.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you for having me, dr Sweet and you know I am a fan of your Wednesday special on the Sweet Spot called Win it All Wednesday, and we're going to win it today, because the two of us are going to talk about love.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Wow, you know I am somewhat intimidated, dorsal, because I look at the wisdom of Wednesdays and I don't know.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: I've said this to you a million times in 90 seconds or less, you can say everything that I have to say in 20 minutes.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: So I'm a little intimidated, but I'm going to give the floor to you to tell me how do you do it, how do you get it all Seriously, how do you get it all into 90 seconds?
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Because I'm still trying to learn that.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: You know, I think that this goes back to my being a producer CBS News Days, McNeil-Lair News Hour days, and it's not even called that anymore.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: So, not to date myself.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: A lot of things have changed.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: But as a producer, working in television, working in the media, you had to get it done fast, you had to say it fast.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: You had the 10 second soundbite, the 15 second soundbite, so I used to have to beg for a piece for three minutes, let alone the value that you give in 10 minutes and 12 minutes and, by the way, it is valuable information.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: So sometimes these shortcuts I hope I'm not shortchanging my audience out there.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: No, you don't, Not at all.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: I actually am quite fascinated.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: It's like watching one of these movies where the person is chasing the other person who's walking and then one person is running and they catch up to them.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: You're amazing that way.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: And look, we've been talking about love all week on the Sweet Spot and I was wondering if you could give us a Wisdom on Wednesday.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Take on what is love, or how would you take the word love and make it into a wisdom on Wednesday?
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: What I would say to everybody listening in the way of I do my wisdom on Wednesdays and it is now meeting the win it all Wednesday.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: I would say love not only is patient, goes back to the biblical Corinthians verse or kind.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: It has to be intentional, dr Sweet.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: And when you intentionally step up for love, step up for kindness and step out of your heart in your emotional journey, what happens around you is you get love back.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: That's what I would say.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Wow, and you know what, for our audience listening out there, just being honest, I actually benefit from that.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: You really have stepped up.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: For me, over three decades of marriage, I literally feel as if we've just met for the first time.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Every time it is so fresh, it is so wonderful, it is so amazing.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: It's almost embarrassing for me to be gushing like this, but real talk, I love your intentionality and I benefit from it.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I hope I give you the same thing.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: I feel like we do kind of embody love, darcelle.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: I feel as if this whole thing that we've learned in the Word we're both Christian, we love the Lord, we follow God and I feel like that's been the secret weapon in our relationship and the idea that we're patient with each other, we're kind to each other, we don't keep a record of wrongs.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: I can't ever think of a time when you've thrown anything up in my face and it's just been so amazing.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Look, we definitely argue, we have our moments and listen.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: We're not perfect, but, my goodness, the love gets fresh every single day.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: So I really appreciate that point you made about intention, because I think we both intentionally want to please each other.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Would you say that's a part of us, or how would you say it in your Wisdom on Wednesday way.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: What I would say A is you know how much I care about you, and when you care about a person, it's easy to do the things that caring people do.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: So that means a good breakfast, that means compromise, that means sacrifice, that means even though I don't throw anything up in your face.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: You remember that I like flowers.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: You remember that I like to go out to a movie every now and then you remember what matters to me and I don't have to remind you of that.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: So I think that the kindness and you're right that love comes from God.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: If you can't love yourself and you can't have a spiritual higher connection to a source of love, you don't know how to love.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: So I think we both have taught each other some of the nuances of love over these many wonderful years.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: And you're right, the gushing.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: I don't want anybody out there to say, oh my God, I can't believe the two of them.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I remember once when you and I were working on one of our books, the editor said this stuff that you guys are writing about is too good to be true.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Nobody's going to read this, it can't be, it can't be true.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: And we dropped that editor because it can be true and I hope people out there who are listening us today understand it does take two, but it really kind of takes three.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: You got to have a spiritual friend in your relationship, and our spiritual friend is God.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Amen to that wisdom on Wednesday.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: Queen, I am just again.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: I'm floored that you're here.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: I can't believe that.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: We're in a sweet spot with the Wisdom.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: On Wednesday meets, win it All Wednesday here and I'm feeling the vibe and I'll tell you a shout out to our parents.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: I know both your parents, louise and Bobby Dillard.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: They're not here, they're with the Lord, but I have to tell you they also for me, represented in so many ways, like my parents, hamel and Jean, they represented to both of us the foundation of love, would you say.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, and we don't all out there have the value of two parents, but we do have the value, most of us, of a good support system, a tribe.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I like to just say to people that that tribe, oh, if your tribe loves hard, you are going to win it on more than Wednesday and you are going to have wisdom beyond parents.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: By the love of your tribe, by the love of siblings, by the love of friends, we all continue to teach each other the nuances of love.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: And it doesn't show up the same way every day.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: It just doesn't.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: It looks different for many people, but there is a constant and it goes back to kindness, back to joy, back to intentionality, back to being a human being that just simply freaking cares.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: You know another thing we do to ourselves, like I don't think people know because we don't share this, but we pray every single night together.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: I think that's another thing that we do.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: We pray.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: We actually sing gospel song, we cover ourselves with Psalm 91 every night, we sing victory is Mine.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: Every night, we pray and I got to tell you, I feel like that anchors us.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Sometimes when we're arguing, I'll really talk.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: Sometimes, when we're arguing and we're not getting along, it's kind of hard because sometimes we're really committed to God and we have to come back together to pray.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: And so, you know, I'm kind of saying the prayer through my mouth.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: I'm a little mad still, but I'm still praying right, and it brings us back to center and I feel like that's a secret weapon in our relationship.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: I do agree with you.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: And so, since we're talking about being love, it's about not keeping the record of wrong and it's hard because I tend to like to hold grudges and I tend to be really like you know.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: You know I can be yeah, you know I can be.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: I can be a real pain in the you know what.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: But look, love helps me.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: Our relationship has helped me.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: My relationship with God has helped me, the fact that we are consistent with each other and that we make each other a priority and we want each other to win.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: And, look, I think it's a blessing.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: So, for those who are listening, let's all agree that we're going to come back to this another time, you and I, and we're going to do a whole week on relationships and love, and it's various the way it shows up.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: How do you be a?
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: One of the things we talk about is being a stand for love, walking in love, choosing love and as hard and gritty as it is.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Listen, darcella, I don't know if you know, but we've been calling love a quiet gangster and I got to tell you it feels like a gangster.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: You have to, because life will throw so much at you.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: We have faced many, many stresses together as a couple.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: It's not always easy and I don't want people to think that this is just some fairy tale.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: It's definitely work and it definitely is a steep climb, but I got to tell you it doesn't feel like it because we really are walking in love and it's fun.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: It's a lot of fun.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to close with this, darcelle, I'm going to ask you to give us one of your 30-second wrap-ups on love, and then we're going to be out.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Thank you for that.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: And my 30-second wrap on love is this you have to love yourself first.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: You have to connect this love to such innocence, like a child's love, that you yourself can catch yourself when you're out of love.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: And so many of us look in the mirror.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: We don't like what we see.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: There's so many ways that we look at ourselves and we doubt and we come against the tide of all the things in this world that bump us around and make us not mirror love.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: My suggestion to everybody out there is look inside yourself, Fall back in love with you and you just watch what you attract.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Amen.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: And man, you did that, I think, in 28 seconds.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, Darcelle, I'm so envious of you.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: You're the best.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Darcelle, for joining us here on the sweet spot on wisdom on wednesday meets win it all wednesday we.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I love you I love you too, dr sweet all right, yeah, take care bye.