Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 359: Your Body Never Lies: Guest Hannah Dalby

Transcript

E 359: Your Body Never Lies: Guest Hannah Dalby · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:01
  Well, hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction.
• 0:05
  Today we have with us Hannah Dalby, and I'm gonna let her just jump in.
• 0:09
  We're gonna have a great conversation.
• 0:11
  She has her own podcast called Into the Jungle, which we will talk about, and I've actually been on that podcast, so super fun, super fun lady.
• 0:18
  So welcome, Hannah.
• 0:20
  Thank you so much.
• 0:22
  Yeah.
• 0:22
  So what we're just gonna jump right in., I know we talked about everything on your podcast- from recovery to dysfunction to crazy parents to- Yeah you name it.
• 0:32
  But go ahead and tell the audience and the listeners who you are and what you do, and let's just get into that.
• 0:38
  Yeah.
• 0:38
  The business I run, The Jungle, is a..., to talk about it as quickly as I can, the point of it is human integration, how can we become the best versions of ourselves by bringing together all the fragmented parts,
• 0:51
  by, being the healthiest versions of ourselves.
• 0:53
  So we blend very deep somatic processing, trauma processing, old patterns processing with strength training, food coaching, aerial yoga, all biohacking kind of equipment.
• 1:04
  So it's really about, how much of a whole human can we become?
• 1:07
  How much capacity can we have?
• 1:09
  How much more love can we have in our life?
• 1:11
  How much better can our relationships be?
• 1:13
  How much better leaders can we be?
• 1:15
  Sounds good.
• 1:16
  I think that's why, and we really hit it off as far as what we talk about it, 'cause people always- Yeah hit me, are you?"
• 1:21
  And I'm like, "I'm a body, mind, and spirit coach."
• 1:24
  I meet you where you're at.
• 1:25
  some people are having trouble with their mindset, but some people have chronic illness from their chronic stress.
• 1:31
  Yeah.
• 1:31
  So it just...
• 1:31
  say at the end of the day, it all follows us into adulthood, and we just have to peel back the layers and like you said, deal with the whole body as, as a whole, not- Yeah not just one
• 1:43
  thing.
• 1:45
  So how did you get into this work?
• 1:48
  by complete accident actually.
• 1:50
  I ran a marketing company for 10 years.
• 1:52
  I was a professional athlete for 10 years, and I started the original version of this business just as cryotherapy, compression, sauna, sports recovery.
• 2:02
  And I was still fighting at the time.
• 2:05
  I built it so I could have the stuff for myself.
• 2:08
  And in that time I gave up fighting and then realized that I had an eating disorder, and my body was really inflamed, and I'd made myself really sick, and I had no relationships of depth around me, and I'd
• 2:21
  burnt myself out so badly.
• 2:23
  And when you took away the escapism of running a business and training for nine hours a day and all the things I was doing, there wasn't much left around me.
• 2:35
  so I was...
• 2:35
  I had already been doing quite a lot of psychotherapy work, prior to that.
• 2:39
  I was using it for being an athlete.
• 2:42
  and I ended up in the plant medicine world for a few years and learned plant medicine facilitation, and I just, it just wasn't quite hitting- the depths of where it needed to go.
• 2:54
  And a few years ago, I...
• 2:57
  and we did some work together, which seemed i- in a way to blend all of the stuff that I'd done before together, and we came together and developed this particular modality that we're using now, which actually isn't anything
• 3:10
  new.
• 3:11
  It's taking all of the good parts, from everything that does exist, throwing away all of the fluff, the pathologizing, the projection.
• 3:19
  and inside of that, I watched myself change very, very fast.
• 3:23
  So I was like, "I'm putting this into the business immediately."
• 3:26
  I, I actually never intended to do the work myself.
• 3:29
  I'd hired someone who was doing okay, but it was still too much bypass and making people feel really good when we actually needed to drive to the pain.
• 3:38
  Right.
• 3:39
  Right.
• 3:39
  And so when I implemented, I started doing it with the clients in the business, and stuff started changing for people very, very quickly.
• 3:47
  So I took on the job myself.
• 3:48
  I was like, "I'm doing this now."
• 3:50
  And I tried to train my whole team.
• 3:52
  I had made some mistakes along the way, I realized that if people haven't done the work themselves, they're not gonna be very good at it.
• 3:57
  and here we are today, and now I actually do have a team that I've trained that has had to go through the fire first, and it's become my whole world.
• 4:06
  so it was...
• 4:07
  I never intended to do this.
• 4:08
  It's...
• 4:09
  And it's a beautiful thing because, in my early 20s, I remember saying "I'm gonna make it, this money, solve the maybe a year ago, waking up going, "Oh, I did that."
• 4:19
  Right.
• 4:19
  "I did the addiction thing."
• 4:21
  And I didn't mean to.
• 4:22
  It was just like a deep core desire of me, and it kind of felt like God coming through me and going, "Do this" because of all of the times in the business where I felt like, "What am I
• 4:34
  doing?"
• 4:35
  Like, "I should shut this down.
• 4:36
  This is hard," "Where am I going with this?"
• 4:38
  But there was always this feeling of you're not allowed to stop.
• 4:40
  This is something bigger than you.
• 4:41
  This is something bigger than you.
• 4:42
  This is something bigger than you.
• 4:43
  and so I haven't stopped amongst all of the pain and suffering to, to get here, and, of what sometimes I have to pinch myself "Did I make this?"
• 4:53
  Well, I think a lot of times people get that message, and you have to listen to it.
• 4:56
  My husband says it all to me all the time when I'm like, "Oh my gosh, this is crazy.
• 4:59
  I just don't wanna do this anymore," And he'll be like, "You literally survived everything you survived for a purpose."
• 5:05
  Yeah.
• 5:05
  And there is somebody just keeps edging you, k- keeps egging you along going, "Just keep doing it.
• 5:11
  Keep doing this.
• 5:11
  Write a book, write a book for children that you wish you had had."
• 5:15
  And a long time ago, though, I do agree, and I know we talked about this last time at least, I think we did, you have to get to a point, too, though, you said you went through and you
• 5:23
  did all the work, but you also have to be at a point where you helping other people is no longer only your therapy, if that makes sense.
• 5:32
  I know a lot of people, I, I literally, I actually just was looking for a new therapist and just had an appointment with a therapist, and I, I walked out of there "Oh, I wonder if I helped her."
• 5:43
  Yeah.
• 5:45
  And I was like, "I cannot do that."
• 5:47
  Well, that's a rescue...
• 5:48
  It's a rescuing pattern.
• 5:49
  Mm-hmm.
• 5:50
  Yeah.
• 5:51
  Well, it's a rescuing pattern, and also I felt like she wasn't really ready to be a therapist.
• 5:57
  Yeah.
• 5:57
  she was still so unregulated herself, and so- Yeah the questions she was asking me, it was almost like, are we here for me or are we here for you?
• 6:08
  Yeah.
• 6:08
  It was a really- Well- interesting dynamic, actually.
• 6:12
  I, I think that's true, and I even notice it and, I make it a very, very, it is the entirety of our culture, and I say it weekly, is you are not taking your clients somewhere you haven't been.
• 6:23
  Right.
• 6:24
  You can't.
• 6:24
  And it's not because you don't have the skills, it's because their nervous system will test it, and if you haven't dealt with it in yourself, it'll go not safe.
• 6:34
  Yep.
• 6:34
  And because you actually...
• 6:35
  Energetically it's like, well, there is actually judgment there, or there is actually some undone stuff there, or you won't really be able to hear it.
• 6:43
  And so the nervous system just bounces out.
• 6:46
  Mm-hmm.
• 6:46
  And, oh, and that can happen at, at very obvious levels where there is actual conscious judgment and projection and kind of stuff going on in the room, which is why, we don't tell you what's wrong with you.
• 6:57
  We don't tell you the answers.
• 6:58
  It's like bring you back to your body, bring you back to your body.
• 7:00
  You have it all in there.
• 7:02
  Right.
• 7:02
  but I do notice, and I've done, phwoa, hundreds and hundreds of hours of this work on myself, and the 10 years before of the work I'd done, and yet still I'll do something and then the next week all
• 7:14
  of my clients move through the same thing.
• 7:16
  Hmm.
• 7:18
  So there is some subconscious projecting, I guess you can say Yeah whether you like it or not.
• 7:24
  Yeah.
• 7:25
  that does make sense.
• 7:26
  But I think I'm just, I was just talking more of just you said, the general sense of safety.
• 7:30
  like when I get on the phone with a client or when I get on Zoom with a client, I make sure I'm pretty darn regulated before I do that.
• 7:38
  Yeah.
• 7:38
  I don't get in there with my worst fears and all that stuff, hanging on my backpack, ready to deal with it right now.
• 7:45
  So but it's just, it's just, it's part of the world though, honestly.
• 7:49
  And co-regulating- It, it is is real.
• 7:51
  I think, I think also a lot of people get into it because it's a way to be able to help themselves.
• 7:57
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:57
  And then we've got a lot of, guru shadows that exist in the entire world where they kinda get into it and then go "All right, so I'm now the answer, and I'm gonna hold that."
• 8:09
  That serving a need for me of I have the answers and which means I don't have to look at myself, and if I were to look at myself and look at what's happening underneath of here, it would collapse
• 8:17
  my guru status, which is- Right unsafe for me because I need to be here to feel safe.
• 8:23
  So nothing actually works inside of that.
• 8:25
  So yes, you have to be regulated, but I think sometimes people feel like they might be regulated, but don't actually understand what that is- Sure, yeah or what that feels like.
• 8:36
  Right.
• 8:36
  And that's one of the things.
• 8:37
  you deal a lot, primarily somatically with your clients.
• 8:41
  Yeah.
• 8:42
  talk a little bit about that for the people that are just kind of "Whoa, what are they talking about?"
• 8:48
  So here's, here's what I believe is the reason that talk therapy and counseling and stuff like that often doesn't work is it's all, all in the head, and our...
• 8:58
  We can get very intelligent and make up stories and feel like we've solved it and have the awareness of it, and it's all head, head, head, head, head.
• 9:05
  Except that when we have an emotion or we've been triggered by something, we get a feeling in our body.
• 9:11
  We'll get like a stomach clench or a tight chest or something will happen in our body, and our body holds onto all of this.
• 9:19
  And, you think of like a dog when it gets scared, and like when it's done being scared it shakes out the energy and goes on with its life, and it's done.
• 9:27
  Yet us silly humans hold it in and pretend that we're fine because we're supposed to be good girls, and, or we're supposed to be men that don't have emotions, and we're supposed to be grounded and stoic, and you
• 9:37
  must be seen and not h- all of this stuff that goes on.
• 9:40
  And so, and then we don't learn how to express.
• 9:43
  We don't learn how to say our truth.
• 9:44
  We don't learn how to actually be inside of that emotion.
• 9:47
  So we've got an entire lifetime of stuff that's kind of just been shoved down there that hasn't been expressed, that hasn't been felt, that's kind of all holding on.
• 9:55
  And so when I'm working with people, the only thing I really care about is where do you feel that?
• 10:00
  Mm-hmm.
• 10:00
  So you can have this story of, "She said this," and, "I can't believe he did that to me," and whatever.
• 10:06
  It's okay, great.
• 10:07
  where are you actually feeling that?
• 10:08
  Because that's gonna be the truth of what needs to be expressed, and we can track that back.
• 10:13
  When was the last time you felt that feeling, and when have, when was the first time you felt that feeling?
• 10:18
  And for me, it's not done until that sensation is no longer there.
• 10:23
  Yeah.
• 10:23
  And so we'll, we'll include parts work and re-parenting and expression and crying and screaming, whatever needs to happen.
• 10:30
  it's all there- Right until there is no feeling.
• 10:33
  And if we still can't move it, I, we can teach people to move the energy out of the body and start to express as it moves out of the body.
• 10:40
  and that, and that in itself, without even a story attached to it, can shift.
• 10:45
  Right.
• 10:46
  Yeah, I don't know how many times.
• 10:47
  I think the saying and the expression that I use, and you probably use it with your people 1,000 times, is get out of your mind and into your body.
• 10:54
  Yeah.
• 10:54
  I deal with all of my people, and it's because of natural, because of your body too and cycles and things like that, but is that 2:00 to 4:00 a.m.
• 11:01
  wake-up call where they wake up "Ah," at 3:00 in the morning and they just get irritated and angry, and they get into this huge spiral.
• 11:09
  And they'll say, "Well, I was thinking this, and I kept saying I had to."
• 11:12
  Well, you're thinking and you're saying and you're doing all that stuff, but you're not feeling.
• 11:16
  Yeah.
• 11:16
  You're not feeling.
• 11:17
  So get into your body.
• 11:20
  So how long is it...
• 11:22
  What would you say having a brand new client would be your first real breakthrough on average, if you had to give a- an average?
• 11:31
  I know that's hard to do 'cause everybody's so unique.
• 11:35
  how many sessions?
• 11:36
  Yeah, about how long?
• 11:38
  Like is it a month?
• 11:38
  Is it three months?
• 11:39
  where people finally go- Mm-hmm "Oh, I don't wake up with that gut-wrenching knot in my stomach anymore."
• 11:47
  Most of the time, women will do it faster.
• 11:50
  M- men will have a, a couple of...
• 11:53
  Depending on what kind of stuff they've done before.
• 11:55
  Men- women will go into the feeling faster and get like a release of something very quickly.
• 12:01
  What I notice is that by about six weeks, we start to get identity shifts.
• 12:06
  So we've had a lot of breakthroughs, and then about six weeks in, identity starts to shift, and by the time we get to 9, 10, 11 weeks, it's actually letting go of this old identity, and there's a grief
• 12:18
  that happens around it of, "I can let go of this person that I have been all of my life."
• 12:22
  Right.
• 12:23
  And that's its own process in itself.
• 12:24
  And so by the end we're then, like, well, what would it feel like to have this other identity?
• 12:30
  Like really anchoring in the new identity that can receive love, that can have capacity, that can do hard things, that can receive money, that, is able to be safe inside a relationship.
• 12:39
  So I think, breakthrough will generally happen quickly in a, in the first one or two sessions.
• 12:46
  Right.
• 12:46
  men I notice actually, they've spent so long not being inside of their emotions, they won't feel it exactly real time in the session, but a couple of days later will be like, "Why am I crying so much?"
• 12:59
  Right.
• 13:00
  And I think that's a lot of, I mean, it's just the, the culture of men can't cry, men have to be tough.
• 13:06
  It's ingrained in us, but it's ingrained in them 10 times worse.
• 13:11
  Yeah, yeah.
• 13:11
  one of my favorite podcast people that came on my podcast, his name is Michael Morgan, and he was a first responder in Atlanta, and he talks about, pulling children out of pools and just horrible, horrible things.
• 13:23
  And I remember the day he said, he said, "Tammy, when I pulled that two-year-old out of that pool and it wasn't breathing, if I could've just stopped in that moment and gone behind the house and beat something up
• 13:37
  and just cried my eyes out, my whole life might've been different."
• 13:41
  Yeah.
• 13:41
  And he truly believed that, but it was so many years of just stuffed emotions.
• 13:46
  His father was, I think, a military guy or a policeman or something that was just constantly stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff.
• 13:52
  Yeah.
• 13:52
  And I call it the invisible backpack, and we all wear one.
• 13:56
  But I And you deal a lot with the mind-body, I mean, the mind-body connection.
• 14:01
  So that invisible backpack that you've been stuffing things in for sometimes 30 years, it now weighs 3,000 pounds, and even though you can't see it, it still weighs 3,000 pounds, so it's doing the physiological effects, damage to your
• 14:17
  body as if- As if you were physically carrying it, It happens exactly like that.
• 14:23
  The amount of women I mean, myself included, that have lost physical fat, physical weight off their body by letting go of the emotions, it just falls away.
• 14:33
  The inflammation goes away.
• 14:34
  They're not protecting themselves anymore.
• 14:36
  They don't have to carry the weight of it anymore.
• 14:39
  It's a literal transition into what happens physiologically.
• 14:42
  Right.
• 14:43
  Absolutely.
• 14:43
  Yeah.
• 14:44
  What are some of the shifts you see in people, besides the weight and the inflammation?
• 14:47
  I know there's tons and tons, but I'm just trying to spark this up with the people that are listening, 'cause they'll start to notice things.
• 14:55
  Yeah.
• 14:55
  So this week specifically, I've actually been thinking about I need to do what's in the field this week, because I always, with that, with my clients, whoever's in- kind of in part of, part of the company that's kind
• 15:06
  of in my field, people will start moving through things at the same time.
• 15:09
  It's almost like we've got this energy center, and as one person lets go of something, it gives space for someone else to let go of something.
• 15:16
  So this week specifically has been I'm allowed to have my dreams.
• 15:20
  I'm allowed to, do this crazy creative thing.
• 15:23
  I'm allowed to have this joyful thing.
• 15:26
  And I think that sounds really simple, but how much desires have been shoved down.
• 15:32
  So we talk about trauma being shoved down, but included in that is actual desires.
• 15:38
  Am I allowed to have the desires that I want?
• 15:40
  Am I allowed to h- have the expression, and say what they are?
• 15:44
  And I think in relationships, a lot of the problems, is people can't express what they need, and sometimes the expression is, "This upset me," but a lot of the time the expression is, "I desire this type of connection.
• 15:56
  I desire time with you.
• 15:57
  I desire this t- type of intimacy.
• 15:59
  I desire to go look at moss on my holidays."
• 16:02
  rather than just, appeasing each other all the time, and then everyone's just trying to keep each other happy, and no one's actually happy because no one has actually spoken about what's deep in their heart.
• 16:11
  Right.
• 16:12
  Right.
• 16:13
  And I think that's a normal thing, and you get to a point, you have this identity shift too, and there's many identity shifts that go along with this healing, and one of them is, who am I?
• 16:22
  What do I even like?
• 16:23
  Yeah.
• 16:24
  I, I don't know if you remember the first time someone said to you, "Hannah, what do you like to do?"
• 16:28
  And you're like, "I don't remember."
• 16:30
  I, I Did you have that?
• 16:31
  'Cause I did.
• 16:32
  People were like, "Well, what do you stand for?
• 16:33
  What are your values?
• 16:34
  What do you like to do?
• 16:35
  What lights you up?"
• 16:36
  And I'm like, "I, I don't know.
• 16:38
  I have no idea."
• 16:40
  So not, not really actually, because I had developed an identity that was so strong that was keeping me safe.
• 16:45
  So someone would say, "What do you like?"
• 16:46
  And it was fighting.
• 16:47
  I like going to training, I like being in the ring, I like running this business.
• 16:50
  And I'd built it so strongly that I couldn't see that there was a disconnection in myself underneath of it.
• 16:56
  Hmm.
• 16:56
  this is why I like working with high performers and leaders and business owners and stuff like that, because it looks like they've got it all together.
• 17:03
  It's like, what are you talking about?
• 17:05
  My life is fine.
• 17:06
  I've got this amazing business, I've got the house, I do this is the identity that I have created.
• 17:10
  But how much of it is truth?
• 17:12
  Right.
• 17:12
  And where is that desire coming from?
• 17:14
  Because I don't think I've changed any of my desires.
• 17:19
  I think they come from a different place.
• 17:20
  So before I used to train and run businesses and do all this stuff to prove Dad wrong, and make sure I beat him at life, and to not be anything like my mother.
• 17:33
  Spot on.
• 17:34
  I got you.
• 17:35
  Yeah.
• 17:36
  I love that.
• 17:37
  And, and now it's because of the joy that it brings me.
• 17:42
  And there was even a thing that came up a few weeks ago of one of the shadowed needs of me running this business is I want the connection with the team.
• 17:49
  I've built this amazing team around me, and I wanna be actually underneath of that, loved and supported for who I am, regardless if it's this business, a different business, no business.
• 18:01
  And so I felt this pressure to make the business work really well- Hmm so that they would all be around me.
• 18:07
  And when I undid that and it was like, oh, like I can choose to keep these people around me, whatever I'm doing, and now I choose to run this from purpose, from joy, from play.
• 18:19
  The shift was huge.
• 18:20
  Like- Hmm when I undid that last little crux of it, it was like foo, and I was like, oh, that was in the way.
• 18:27
  Hmm.
• 18:27
  Got it.
• 18:28
  And how long ago was this?
• 18:29
  And even the training, right?
• 18:30
  How long ago was this?
• 18:32
  Like a month ago A month?
• 18:34
  Okay.
• 18:34
  And your business has- Yeah probably doubled because you're, coming at it differently now.
• 18:38
  You're coming at it so differently.
• 18:40
  I can only imagine.
• 18:42
  Yeah.
• 18:42
  There's no exhaustion in it.
• 18:44
  I can actually stop.
• 18:45
  it, it allowed the growth that I actually wanted, and now there's enough space and I'm like, "Huh."
• 18:52
  I know the intention was to build this where I could go back to training and I could go back to the things that I loved, and now it's actually here.
• 18:59
  And it was like, "Oh."
• 19:01
  And I'm allowed to do that.
• 19:02
  There's no pressure to, keep being busy.
• 19:04
  I can just go, I built a team.
• 19:06
  You did that hard work.
• 19:07
  Let them do the work.
• 19:08
  Right.
• 19:09
  Go and do the things that you love.
• 19:10
  And I do love fighting, and I do love all of, all of the stuff that I've always done.
• 19:15
  It's just not to prove anything anymore.
• 19:17
  Right.
• 19:17
  It's because it makes me happy.
• 19:19
  Right.
• 19:20
  That's cool.
• 19:21
  So I feel like you're blessed in a way, I was just such a chronic freaking people pleaser.
• 19:26
  I was whoever you needed me to be.
• 19:28
  People are like, "Well, who are you?"
• 19:29
  Like, "When you walk into a room, how, who are you?"
• 19:32
  I'm like, "Exactly what you need me to be."
• 19:33
  I'm like, I can be tough.
• 19:34
  Mm-hmm.
• 19:34
  I can be professional.
• 19:36
  I can be a wimp.
• 19:37
  I can be quiet.
• 19:38
  I can be loud.
• 19:39
  I can be whatever matches and blends me in more to the crowd that I'm in.
• 19:45
  I was the world's best chameleon, I guess you could say.
• 19:48
  That little lizard- Yeah that changes colors.
• 19:52
  Does that make sense of why you were like, "I don't know what I like"?
• 19:55
  I didn't, because I was like, "I don't know."
• 19:57
  I was thinking about it today.
• 19:58
  I actually did a live and it was like, how do you know?
• 20:01
  when you meet someone, within three minutes I can tell if they're kind of in that fight or flight or, I'm not really myself and I'm kind of uncomfortable in my skin kind of vibe.
• 20:12
  Mm.
• 20:12
  You just get it, and one of the first things is because if you say, "Hey, what do you..."
• 20:16
  "What do you feel like eating?"
• 20:17
  They'll say, "I don't know.
• 20:18
  Whatever you want.
• 20:18
  I don't care."
• 20:19
  Yeah.
• 20:20
  And that was me for 30 years.
• 20:23
  "I don't care.
• 20:23
  I don't know.
• 20:24
  Whatever you want is good."
• 20:26
  And even at 40 years old, I could go to someone and say, "Man, I'm dying for some Chinese food.
• 20:31
  I just want some moo goo gai pan."
• 20:33
  And they'd be like, "Hey, we were thinking about going out for Mexican."
• 20:37
  And my whole stomach and everything in my soul would get so angry, but I'd be like, "Okay, I guess it's a burrito."
• 20:46
  Yeah.
• 20:46
  Part of me was just so used to appeasing people.
• 20:48
  Like I said, that's who...
• 20:49
  That was who I became.
• 20:51
  I came- became the chameleon.
• 20:52
  I became the whatever, the doormat.
• 20:55
  but boy, what a liberating feeling when all of a sudden you're like, "No, screw you, I want Chinese food."
• 21:01
  Yeah.
• 21:02
  Well, actually, we were talking about this a lot this week, in that it's actually not protecting everyone else, it's protecting yourself from the uncomfortability of them being uncomfortable, so you're not actually serving anyone else other than yourself anyway.
• 21:15
  No.
• 21:15
  And which doesn't serve anyone.
• 21:17
  No one can grow.
• 21:18
  just it...
• 21:19
  I've had the energy, I've had the people-pleasing energy in running a team, and I'd do it really badly with women because of the relationship I had with my mother.
• 21:26
  Mm-hmm.
• 21:26
  And it cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars in mistakes because I wouldn't let other people be uncomfortable.
• 21:32
  Yep Yeah.
• 21:34
  No, absolutely.
• 21:35
  And it's funny because a lot of people do that, and they think, "Well, I'm just kind."
• 21:39
  No, you're not.
• 21:40
  No, you're not.
• 21:40
  You're what they think of you.
• 21:40
  Yeah.
• 21:41
  That you're afraid of the repercussions of actually- Yeah standing up and telling your truth, period.
• 21:47
  Yeah.
• 21:47
  I don't care how you look at it, how you slice it.
• 21:49
  Yeah.
• 21:50
  But yeah, and everybody kind of deals with their trauma, their grief, their past, their experience in a totally different way.
• 21:58
  That's why it's so fun, I think, to do the podcast, and you probably find the same thing on yours, which is Into the Jungle podcast, right?
• 22:05
  Yeah.
• 22:06
  e- because it's so many different perspectives of the same concept.
• 22:12
  Yeah.
• 22:12
  Yeah.
• 22:13
  Well, and I think that's an important point because this isn't structured.
• 22:17
  Like, it's not like, "Okay, we're gonna work on this, then we're gonna work on this, and then we're gonna work on this."
• 22:21
  It's like that is not how a human being operates.
• 22:24
  it is what is actually surfacing?
• 22:26
  What is triggering you in your world?
• 22:27
  What are the little things that you're getting stuck in?
• 22:29
  What ceilings do you have?
• 22:31
  And, that's where we start, and whatever is inside of that is whatever is inside of that.
• 22:35
  I'm not here to tell you what that is.
• 22:37
  Right.
• 22:38
  Exactly., I've had people that will come in to me and or they'll be sitting down or we'll be on a Zoom, and they'll say, "Well, this week we were working on this."
• 22:45
  And then I'm like, "Okay, what happened this weekend?"
• 22:48
  And then they'll tell me They're like, "But you said..."
• 22:50
  Who cares what I said?
• 22:51
  This is not where you need to be right now.
• 22:53
  We need to meet you where you're at.
• 22:55
  Like, you need to meet you where you're at.
• 22:58
  Like, who gives a rat's butt about the, quote, unquote, "homework" I gave you or things- Yeah to work on?
• 23:04
  You didn't tell me you were gonna spend three days with your estranged mother.
• 23:10
  that might've changed the homework going into that.
• 23:12
  Yeah.
• 23:13
  Yeah.
• 23:14
  It's funny..
• 23:14
  it's just that's the, that's the world we're in, though, and that's the great thing about it It's not linear, and it's not an A to Z by any stretch of the imagination.
• 23:24
  Not even close.
• 23:25
  No.
• 23:27
  So tell us about your podcast.
• 23:30
  Yeah, so the podcast originally started, it was years ago now.
• 23:34
  I woke up in the middle of the night, 1:00 in the morning, and was like, "You have to start a podcast."
• 23:40
  And I got out my journal and wrote down the first 12 people I must interview, and I was like, "All right, you're gon-..."
• 23:44
  So the point was to tell my story.
• 23:46
  I was a, drug addict for a very long time.
• 23:48
  That was, like, secret.
• 23:49
  Um, no one knew about it.
• 23:51
  I lived a double life, essentially.
• 23:53
  And so I thought, oh, I, I have to tell this story.
• 23:55
  I have to tell the truth.
• 23:56
  The problem was is my parents didn't know, and so that was a whole other thing, is, I had- If I'm gonna put this on the internet...
• 24:03
  And it was like, yeah, so...
• 24:06
  no one knew anything.
• 24:07
  And I refused to do it until I got it all set up really nicely, so it took about 18 months before I did anything about it.
• 24:13
  Oh, wow.
• 24:13
  Found a friend that had a studio, and...
• 24:15
  But then I had to fly down to South Australia, where my parents live, and meet them on neutral ground and sit them down and actually tell them, like, "Okay, so this has actually been what's happened in my life,"
• 24:27
  before I put it on the internet.
• 24:29
  Wow.
• 24:30
  It was horrendous.
• 24:31
  But I h- that process of actually telling the truth to them and then starting to tell the truth through the podcast, my thyroid issue disappeared and my gut issue disappeared.
• 24:43
  So, both of those were lifelong issues, just gone in a couple of months.
• 24:47
  So obviously, it was a very important thing for me to do.
• 24:51
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:51
  And so the initial part of it, it was called- something else at the start, I don't even remember anymore, and the point was to tell my story of, yes, I was a drug addict when I was 15, and
• 25:02
  I had been in domestic violence, and, I'd lost all of my houses, and I was lying to everyone all of the time, living this double life, and all of this chaotic stuff had happened.
• 25:12
  And I just one day woke up, decided I was done with that, got myself clean, and went on with my life.
• 25:17
  And just no one ever knew the struggle of what I went through.
• 25:20
  Mm-hmm.
• 25:20
  And, so that was the point of starting it, and then it kind of became...
• 25:25
  Because this was happening in the business, it became, well, now how can we tell the stories of our clients sometimes, and how can we bring science into what we're actually talking about here?
• 25:36
  Because the neuroimmunologists are starting to get it, and the cardiologists are starting to get it.
• 25:42
  Mm-hmm.
• 25:43
  And the s- the, the doctors, there, there's enough science now coming out to start proving this, what's actually going on underneath of it.
• 25:51
  so I actually haven't recorded in a little while.
• 25:53
  We're gonna do one next week, really focusing on all of the relationship stuff, 'cause I think that we focus a lot on relational dynamics and relationships that aren't working, or people that keep ending up in the same relationships
• 26:04
  all the time no matter what, even though they know it's not the right thing.
• 26:08
  We do a lot of work inside of that.
• 26:09
  And just to speak to, what's actually going on, because I think that a lot of the stuff that's out there around, "You just need to communicate better and learn non-violent communication," and, it just doesn't work if the nervous
• 26:21
  system is stuck in the same patterns.
• 26:22
  Yep.
• 26:23
  Exactly.
• 26:24
  Exactly.
• 26:25
  Wow, that's cra- I'm picturing that story.
• 26:28
  That's insane.
• 26:29
  I didn't know that about...
• 26:30
  I knew about the drug addict and stu- stuff like that, that you went through that.
• 26:33
  But what a perfect example for you to train on and for you to teach on, too, about the mind-body connection.
• 26:39
  Like you said, as soon as you got this out, the thyroid problem was gone.
• 26:44
  I always say the thyroid is, the last th- your last defense mechanism that your body has.
• 26:50
  Like, it holds on as long as it can possibly hold on, and it takes the brunt of everything.
• 26:55
  I just had somebody else on this podcast that said they sing now, but they were so stifled and had no voice for so long that they got thyroid cancer.
• 27:07
  And they were like- Mm their doctor was like, "No, that's not a thing," and she was like, "No, I know for a fact."
• 27:12
  you know your body, and what's going on in your body.
• 27:15
  But it's just funny that...
• 27:16
  Not funny, but it's- It's very, speaks to what you do and what I do as far as, like you said, the gut issue's gone as soon as the stress was gone.
• 27:27
  It's- Yeah amazing.
• 27:29
  Yeah, I think there's a, there's a lot wrapped up in that.
• 27:31
  And we, we should do a lot of clients with chronic illness type of stuff.
• 27:35
  Like fibromyalgia I've worked with a lot, which is anger turned inwards.
• 27:39
  And or all- autoimmune is always anger turned in- inwards.
• 27:42
  Fibromyalgia specifically is like I need to be suffering in order to be loved, supported, taken care of.
• 27:49
  Yep.
• 27:49
  And so as soon as you can actually put someone back in their power, oh, go on.
• 27:55
  Yeah.
• 27:56
  No, it- Yeah it's, I agree, and I know I g- I know it ruffles a lot of feathers when I say things.
• 28:02
  people will say, "Oh, well, she got lupus," or, "She got fibromyalgia," or, "She got this," and I'm like, "She needs a good therapist."
• 28:11
  Yeah.
• 28:11
  She needs to get it out of her body.
• 28:13
  Yeah.
• 28:13
  it is literally kill...
• 28:14
  it's dis-ease.
• 28:15
  your body is at dis-ease, and I think we talked about the energy scan that I do with the, frequencies with the- Yeah 171,000 different frequencies, and it's all, your body is all energy.
• 28:27
  And if people understood and they really believed the concept of where your attention goes, energy flows, there would be no question about how something holding your voice back is gonna affect your throat or your thyroid or anything in
• 28:41
  that area.
• 28:42
  Or, the number of people that have a horribly ugly divorce and then they have breast cancer.
• 28:48
  there's connections.
• 28:50
  There's no doubt in statistics.
• 28:52
  So I know I don't like to throw my two cents in there, but read the studies.
• 28:57
  They're out there.
• 28:58
  There are, and there are studies on it, and there's some new science that's coming out which is actually showing...
• 29:02
  And I can't explain it very well, but it's showing that there are, signals in our body which are giving instructions.
• 29:07
  There's these little things that are giving instructions, and they've noticed that when we, when someone deals with the stress or deals with the trauma, the instructions change.
• 29:15
  Mm.
• 29:16
  So th- they're starting to actually understand the mechanisms that are happening inside of the body that are making this stuff happen, and the n- the neuroimmunologist that I interviewed was, speaking to the same thing of sometimes the instructions
• 29:28
  start in the body and sometimes the instructions start in the brain.
• 29:31
  You have an immune center in both places, so that's why sometimes mindset stuff works.
• 29:36
  Right.
• 29:37
  And it's why sometimes it doesn't, because it's a body-based thing first.
• 29:41
  Right.
• 29:41
  And, we can kind of override with thought in some ways.
• 29:45
  I get kind of frustrated with the idea of it because I think that sometimes overriding with thoughts bypasses the feeling that was unexpressed and not really giving you an understanding of it.
• 29:56
  But for sure, there is some truth to the way that you speak about yourself and the way that you speak into the world and the way, the words that you use, and shifting a mindset around something can absolutely
• 30:07
  shift that.
• 30:07
  But I think it takes a double-edge, it's a double-sided approach.
• 30:10
  Yeah.
• 30:10
  I've got a client at the moment that we're just over three months now.
• 30:14
  We're kind of tacking on some on the end because one of my philosophies is get the job done.
• 30:19
  Right.
• 30:20
  Yeah.
• 30:21
  Don't leave it hanging.
• 30:22
  don't, yeah, yeah, yeah, get the job done.
• 30:24
  And it was a really big identity shift for her.
• 30:27
  She'd been so negative her entire life, which was trying to prove- that she was not good enough because that was how she was treated.
• 30:35
  She was, her sister, her sister passed away when she was very young and she was just the nothing.
• 30:40
  I'm not important.
• 30:41
  I was..."
• 30:41
  She was sent away, all of these things, so it's been this lifelong thing of, "I'm not good enough."
• 30:45
  So she find, has found the negative in everything, in everyone everything that could possibly have happened.
• 30:51
  And so we've done the internal work, and now it's actually a little bit of shifting of the habits around how she speaks and what she sees, and putting a little bi- bit of force and practices in, "I want
• 31:04
  you to notice the good things that have happened in a day."
• 31:07
  Right.
• 31:07
  "I want you to tell your husband three things you love about him every week.
• 31:10
  I want you to tell yourself three things that you've done well this week."
• 31:14
  And, make that a practice unst- until the brain starts to go, "I'm allowed to do that."
• 31:19
  Mm.
• 31:19
  Because if I'd told her to do that three months ago, her nervous system would've had a meltdown about it.
• 31:24
  Yeah.
• 31:24
  But we've done enough work now where it's actually landing, and she's like, "That does feel good.
• 31:29
  You're right."
• 31:30
  Mm-hmm.
• 31:31
  Yeah.
• 31:31
  No, but you're right, and it is a two, two-sided approach, as you put it, because I say that all the time, and I say it with affirmations.
• 31:37
  I don't have anything against affirmations, but- Yeah if you don't feel lovable and you want to feel lovable, sitting there looking at yourself going, "You're lovable," is not gonna work.
• 31:48
  Mm-hmm, yeah.
• 31:48
  But if you get down on the floor and your puppy is licking your face, basically staring at you going, "I love you more than life itself," and then you do the affirmation, I feel like it hits better.
• 31:59
  Because you, again, you're in your body feeling what it feels like to be lovable.
• 32:04
  So- I think that's a tough one because, Maybe there's a hint of it there.
• 32:08
  The biggest thing that I work on with women, and it happens in men as well actually, is can you actually open your heart to receive?
• 32:16
  Right.
• 32:17
  Well, that's true, yes.
• 32:18
  So, yeah.
• 32:19
  That's it.
• 32:19
  So all of these loving things can happen, right?
• 32:22
  Like, my dog could love me, my partner could buy me all these amazing things and take care of me and look after the house and tell me all of the things that he loves about me all the time,
• 32:31
  and my friends could support me, and my business could be doing well, and I've shut myself, I've shut my heart off from being able to receive because it's been so dangerous.
• 32:40
  Love has been dangerous.
• 32:42
  Right.
• 32:42
  And so then I'm allowing things to happen, not allowing it in my heart, so I don't feel appreciation, and then my partner doesn't feel appreciated and stops doing it, and my business stops working, and my staff feel resentful.
• 32:55
  And all this stuff- Right starts to start looping around where it's like you, it's happening, but you're not really fully receiving it.
• 33:03
  Right.
• 33:03
  It's a big job to open your heart to receive.
• 33:06
  Yeah.
• 33:06
  There's actually a lot of work that's involved inside of that, and then it's, a lifelong process of how much more can you receive, how much more can you let into your heart?
• 33:14
  Because when I do this with people, they'll feel very overwhelmed, or they'll panic, or they'll shut down, or they'll say, "It's not safe.
• 33:21
  What do I do?
• 33:22
  I can't have this."
• 33:23
  And then you start pushing more and more and more in, and it's like, "This is really overwhelming."
• 33:28
  It's like, yeah, no shit.
• 33:29
  no wonder you're not allowing it into your heart and your life.
• 33:31
  There's actually so much around you- Right and it's just not landing in here, but once you can let it land in, you start to wanna give back.
• 33:40
  You automatically and naturally start to wanna appreciate and be in gratitude and give back to these people and love back to these people, and that is now a true sense of gratitude- Right and a true sense of feeling
• 33:52
  loved and a true sense of being able to love yourself and let these other people love you, and that changes the whole dynamic of everything.
• 34:00
  It does.
• 34:00
  No, that is, that is absolutely true, 100%.
• 34:04
  And I re- I literally...
• 34:07
  Do you remember the first time you felt that?
• 34:09
  Do you...
• 34:10
  Can you, do you...
• 34:11
  Can you put a moment on it or no?
• 34:19
  There's probably two things that, I could speak to.
• 34:23
  The first one I did an ayahuasca journey and spent two days experiencing what it was like to be fully seen And it was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever done in my entire life.
• 34:33
  And that doesn't mean that it was done.
• 34:35
  What I did is I got the experience of it.
• 34:37
  Mm-hmm.
• 34:38
  And then I had to spend a year actually figuring out how to let that happen.
• 34:43
  Yeah.
• 34:44
  And through that year was a- being able to let love in.
• 34:47
  It was through the work that I was doing, and I had someone else doing it for me, and I remember it feeling like an absolute panic.
• 34:55
  And then I had to go and do the work inside of my relationship first.
• 35:00
  Mm-hmm.
• 35:00
  And really noticing how I would turn away at things, and have to actually say out loud to my partner, "I'm really struggling to receive this.
• 35:08
  It feels like too much.
• 35:10
  So I'm sorry that I don't, may not be ex- as appreciative as you want me to be.
• 35:15
  I'm just finding it hard to allow it in."
• 35:17
  And then I'd have to go and work on why.
• 35:19
  Mm-hmm.
• 35:20
  Yeah.
• 35:20
  It, I mean, it is a process, But yeah, the gentleman that I talked about, Mo- Morgan, he what's his name?
• 35:28
  Whatever Morgan's.
• 35:28
  I can't remember his first name.
• 35:30
  I just said it.
• 35:30
  But he went to an- did an Ayahuasca weekend, and that was his whole turning point.
• 35:36
  He said it was- Yeah the most uncomfortable, but yet he said after, everything he had been through, all the healing, all, everything, he said that was what literally he felt like healed him in like a weekend of the
• 35:49
  PTSD- It's an interest- it's an interesting thing, right?
• 35:50
  I've, I've, I've done maybe 60 different plant medicine journeys, over the years.
• 35:57
  Lots of Ayahuasca, lots of Bufo, lots of mushrooms, all of this kind of stuff, and I don't think it would've landed in the same way had I not been getting integration work done.
• 36:05
  Mm.
• 36:05
  when I actually look back at it all now, and having facilitated it as well, is it seems to be a moment where you can experience what it could be like, and it opens you up to experiencing what it
• 36:17
  could be like, and that's when the work begins.
• 36:19
  It's not done.
• 36:20
  Right.
• 36:20
  It's shown you what's possible, and shown you how to get there, and if you don't do the things to actually land there, it event- like you feel amazing because it's a psychedelic for a really long time- Right and
• 36:31
  then the kind of, the patterns start to seep back in again because you haven't actually integrated it into your life.
• 36:36
  I don't know if I even wanna go there anymore because I'm getting better results just doing the integration work in the first place when it's blended with somatic work.
• 36:43
  Right.
• 36:44
  And going back on that, and I remember during our interview, he did say that.
• 36:47
  He said that it changed his s- life so profoundly that it affected every decision he made going forward.
• 36:53
  Yeah.
• 36:54
  So it was like, in his mind it was like, wow, this is what it could be.
• 36:58
  And so he established this, set of non-negotiables.
• 37:01
  So this is integration, right?
• 37:03
  This is like putting it into action.
• 37:04
  Yeah.
• 37:04
  So he was putting it into action You can't just go- No, yeah and be like, "I'm done now."
• 37:08
  No, no, no.
• 37:08
  God no.
• 37:09
  But that's literally, he said it, it affected every single decision he made going forward the rest of his life, and he said, "And it still does."
• 37:16
  Because- Yeah he said the same thing as you said.
• 37:19
  He said, "I saw what was possible, and I wanted that.
• 37:22
  And I was gonna do everything I could do."
• 37:24
  And he was still in therapy and doing different things and everything, but he said- There you go.
• 37:27
  There you go yeah, he said he had tried everything.
• 37:30
  Everything.- It was all from PTSD it's interesting that you said that.
• 37:34
  And I've heard of some other people with the plant-based, and I've not done any of that, so I'm c- I don't know.
• 37:40
  Like- interest- interesting to me if nothing else, right?
• 37:43
  Yeah.
• 37:44
  But, but anyway, so this has been super fun.
• 37:47
  Tell people, I want you to tell people a couple things.
• 37:50
  If they want to work with you, if they want to find out more about what you do, want to get on your podcast, where can they reach you?
• 37:55
  The best place.
• 37:57
  the Instagram.
• 37:58
  So you have to actually look up Recovery Jungle, the original business name.
• 38:02
  I'm too scared to change the tag.
• 38:06
  I hear you there.
• 38:08
  Yeah.
• 38:08
  So recover- @recoveryjungle on Instagram, or thejungle.net.au.
• 38:13
  There's booking links to book in times to speak to me there as well.
• 38:16
  Okay.
• 38:17
  Okay.
• 38:18
  And you work individually with people?
• 38:19
  You work groups?
• 38:21
  What is your most- It's all one-on-one.
• 38:23
  We t- even in the couples work that we do, we separate them and do their own work.
• 38:27
  Okay.
• 38:27
  And then we bring them together towards the end.
• 38:29
  It's all..., i've watched group stuff happen for so long.
• 38:33
  I've been in, plant medicine circles in group, I've rocked up to group things.
• 38:37
  One-on-one does something very, very magical.
• 38:39
  People can let go on a different level.
• 38:41
  I can focus directly on them.
• 38:42
  Even in a couples thing, we're not getting somewhere when these wounds are still there.
• 38:46
  So it's separate work first- Right and then we come together.
• 38:49
  And yes, community and connection is important, but we come together to play.
• 38:53
  Right.
• 38:53
  No, I, I agree.
• 38:54
  You come together- Yeah to play and to know that you're not alone, and to feel- Yeah validated and heard, and- Yeah tell your story, and look around a group of people that go, "Wow, if she can do it,
• 39:04
  I can do it."
• 39:05
  And there is power in that.
• 39:06
  The, there is.
• 39:07
  I, get it.
• 39:07
  I totally get it.
• 39:08
  Yeah.
• 39:08
  and then if you had to give the people...
• 39:12
  So, and I will put those, both of those links in the show notes, so people, if you're driving or whatever, don't worry about that.
• 39:17
  Now, if you had to give the listeners one final piece of words of wisdom or something tangible to take with them to make their day a little brighter, what would it be?
• 39:27
  To make their day a little brighter?
• 39:28
  I was gonna hit them hard.
• 39:29
  Or hit them hard.
• 39:30
  Hit hard with something they can use.
• 39:32
  Give me something they can use.
• 39:34
  Okay.
• 39:34
  So the thing that I love to say the most is if you have a repeating pattern in your life, if you keep hitting the same wall, the same relationship thing, the same money block, the same whatever is going
• 39:45
  on in your life, it is very rarely an outside problem, it is an inside problem.
• 39:49
  And the moment you can realize that and take full responsibility for it is the moment that everything starts to shift.
• 39:55
  Mm.
• 39:56
  Mm.
• 39:56
  Amen.
• 39:57
  Yeah, you hit them hard.
• 39:58
  Yeah.
• 40:00
  with the whole healing journey, the hardest part is self-reflection.
• 40:04
  We grow up and we're just, I hear so many times, "Because of the way I grew up, this is why.
• 40:10
  And because of this, and this is that."
• 40:11
  And I'm like, you know what, though?
• 40:12
  Once you are aware, it is now your responsibility.
• 40:15
  Yeah.
• 40:16
  And self-reflection is very hard and very painful, and sometimes people don't do it, but you're not doing anybody, including yourself, a, a service.
• 40:25
  You're doing them a disservice if you don't look inward, Okay.
• 40:28
  Well, then- those are to make the day a little brighter- the beautiful thing about taking full responsibility for this stuff is you get to take full responsibility for the pain that's there, which means you also get to take
• 40:39
  full responsibility for the wins that happen after.
• 40:42
  It means everything that good that happens on the other side, you did that.
• 40:45
  Yep.
• 40:46
  Amen.
• 40:47
  It's the same thing when people say, when all of a sudden they realize what's going on and what, what patterns they have, and how they're projecting and all this stuff, and they're like, "Oh my gosh, I'm a bad
• 40:55
  parent, I'm this, I'm that."
• 40:56
  Don't beat yourself up about that, because now every step that you make getting better and healing, your kids are seeing that, your family's seeing that.
• 41:04
  Everybody around you is seeing that, and you're putting a higher frequency positive you into the world, and that's what we're all going for anyway, right?
• 41:12
  Yeah.
• 41:13
  Thank you so much, Hannah, for coming on.
• 41:15
  I really appreciate you.
• 41:16
  Yeah, you're very welcome, Tammi.
• 41:17
  You're welcome.
• 41:18
  And for everybody else out there listening, you heard it.
• 41:20
  Go back, check it out.
• 41:21
  It's, Oh, gosh, I just wrote it down again.
• 41:24
  the Recovery Jungle is the podcast.
• 41:27
  Go check it out, and go to her website, check Hannah out.
• 41:31
  She's great.
• 41:31
  She's got a lot of wisdom, and we appreciate you so much for coming on.
• 41:35
  Thank you so much.
• 41:35
  Thank you.
• 41:37
  Everybody else out there, love you guys.
• 41:39
  See you next week.
• 41:40
  Bye.