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Your Therapist Doesn't Expect You To Say Everything · Voices for Voices®

• 0:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hi everyone, it's Justin here of Voices for Voices.
• 0:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you very much for joining us.
• 0:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Whether you're watching or listening here in the United States or abroad, I don't know if that's from the beginning or if this is your first episode.
• 0:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Welcome, one and all.
• 0:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you could do us a big favor, give us a thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, reshare, repost, even maybe reach in and pull out your phone and share the voices for voices.
• 0:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: TV Chun Podcast with 25, 50, 100, 200 contacts in your phone.
• 0:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We greatly appreciate that.
• 0:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I want to talk a little bit on this episode about finishing.
• 1:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Finishing.
• 1:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Finishing.
• 1:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And how I'm going to explain this is through experience I just had, like literally not even five minutes before this filming.
• 1:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And that is where so as we know, I I'm in front of the camera a lot, and I am not I am not trying to think of the right words.
• 1:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A person that really shies away anymore of in therapy sessions.
• 2:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I I share.
• 2:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So uh with all that being said, so just finished fishing appointment.
• 2:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And and and the deal is really this.
• 2:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So there's so many things in our head, so many things, so many experiences, so many little things, big things, medium-sized things that happen throughout our days and nights and afternoons, that sometimes we don't get to where we have finished what we want to share.
• 3:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So that's where journaling, that's where from our previous guest, Lawrence, talks about how journaling has and is helping him.
• 3:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: He's just a total rock star, by the way.
• 3:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So you're gonna you're gonna wanna go back an episode before this and uh check check that episode out.
• 3:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's a long one, but it's worth it, let me tell you.
• 3:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I learned so much from that conversation, and I got a snoring tongue by me.
• 3:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's so cool.
• 3:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: She's just she's just snoozing away.
• 3:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But she'll awake, I'm sure, at some point.
• 4:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Daddy's filming.
• 4:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But so yeah, finishing.
• 4:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I just finished again.
• 4:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I finished the actual appointment, but I didn't finish what I wanted, everything I wanted to share.
• 4:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because time is finite, meaning there's not an unlimited amount of time.
• 4:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We don't know when it's gonna be our last day on earth.
• 4:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And and so appointments with therapists and others, there's usually a time limit on those.
• 4:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if you don't write something down, it makes it harder to get to all those things.
• 4:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I am not the best journaler, I'm not the best person to take notes.
• 5:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I store so much of my my mind, and I think that's part of what contributes to a lot of the stress that I get at times.
• 5:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because if I would get it out of my head on the paper, uh I would uh I would be able to have a better chance of covering all those topics, all those experiences I wanted to share.
• 5:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I feel accomplished because I had the appointment, I shared so much, some people, it's hard for them to share.
• 5:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's like, well, what do I what do I say?
• 5:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And you know, at the at the beginning for me, I was in that boat, like, what do I talk about?
• 6:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And at some point, I just got to the point of just as I voluntarily admitted myself in into the psychoard, right?
• 6:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Just as I did that, made that that decision, I also along those lines with the medication of do I really don't want to, I don't want to take medication for a long time for the rest of my life, whatever that may be.
• 6:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But when I kind of made that decision and when I voluntarily admitted myself, I felt and I still feel that in therapy you get what you put in.
• 7:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So if I don't share anything, I'm gonna have less of a chance of even if it's just for a few minutes, of a little more, just a little more peace in their lives.
• 7:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A bit of a slowdown, I'll call it.
• 7:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I feel like if I don't, if I don't share, that's on me.
• 7:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If I'm not sharing, that's on me.
• 7:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, the therapist that you know and the psychiatrist, that they're they are there to help to jump in, ask questions as needed, but for somebody like me, I talk.
• 8:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So just as I talk to you, whether you're watching or listening, that's how my appointments go.
• 8:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Where it's I use this analogy or you know, in this way.
• 8:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Think of it like a track and field event.
• 8:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let's say the hundred yard dash or fifty yard dash, whatever the race is, that doesn't matter.
• 8:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're if you're doing that, one of those races, you practice, prepare, practice, prepare.
• 9:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Then when it comes time for the meet, which is what we would consider a game or a match in a different sport, we get ready, and then there's a point when we start, and and that's kind of how I I guess how I feel how I feel.
• 9:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I think maybe more of my analogy should be like a fighter jet on a aircraft carrier.
• 9:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because I do talk fast at times, and and so it's like you gotta go zero.
• 9:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't even know what the speed is that fighter jets get up to before they take off because they're as they're taking off on a aircraft carrier.
• 10:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because when I start, I go and I go, and you know, it's kind of like the energizer bunny, you know, a little bit too where I'm just gonna share and that that's my way of going about things.
• 10:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Doesn't mean that has to be yours or anybody else's.
• 10:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's just me.
• 10:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I want to get my money's worth.
• 10:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I want like it's hard work.
• 10:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If there's things that we've accomplished, like we should be able to share that, and if we can't share that with anybody other than the therapist or psychiatrist, we still were able to share it.
• 11:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so that's just what I wanted to talk about here is I get going and I share, and then time's up.
• 11:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like it's like the bell at school, remember?
• 11:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The bell rings, you switch classes, and then you start learning a different subject.
• 11:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But I didn't fit, I didn't finish everything that I have in my mind that I wanted to share, but it's okay because I'm here now, present in the moment, and doing the show.
• 12:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's why I wanted to do a show right away.
• 12:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I didn't want to wait 15 minutes because I was gonna wait a short period of time, and then I was going to film this episode.
• 12:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But I didn't want to because I wanted it to be so raw, so fresh in my mind, so that when I share it it's it just happened.
• 12:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So that doesn't mean it's a bad thing?
• 12:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Not at all.
• 12:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Absolutely not at all.
• 12:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I feel a lot a lot better, a little more at peace that I was able to share what I was able to share.
• 13:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But now life goes on, right?
• 13:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean life just continues.
• 13:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The time keeps keeps ticking.
• 13:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Tick, tick, tock, tick, tick, tock.
• 13:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so if you go through a therapy session or any kind of session, any type of appointment, it's okay.
• 13:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: None of us are perfect.
• 13:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we don't need to beat ourselves up and go, you know, Justin, there you go, screw it up again.
• 14:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I knew it, it would happen.
• 14:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It would happen.
• 14:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We just need to stop beating ourselves up about things.
• 14:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It doesn't do any good to anybody when we start second guessing putting ourselves down.
• 14:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know who the number one person of putting down and maybe bullying to an extent?
• 14:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's ourselves.
• 14:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We do that.
• 14:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not good.
• 14:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not a good practice.
• 14:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We do that though.
• 15:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, I'm not gonna try that again because it it just didn't work out this time.
• 15:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like it's not meant to be.
• 15:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like there's no there's no bell that goes off.
• 15:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean, now I'm going back on the bell with classes and that, but there's no bell that's gonna go off that says, okay.
• 15:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You've you've uh shared everything that was on your mind.
• 15:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, kind of like if you have a gasoline vehicle, like, okay, you know, filling up the gas tank.
• 15:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, I just the other day I was really close to empty.
• 16:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Went to a gas station, right?
• 16:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, swipe, tap, whatever.
• 16:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Pick, you know, leaded, unleaded, or unleaded, plus diesel, what what have you, or diesel fuel.
• 16:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then and it fills up until it doesn't, until it's topped off, meaning that can't put any more in, or it'll spray out, and I've had that happen at least one time that I remember.
• 16:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So there's again, there's no belt that's like, yeah, this is the this is the thing that you're born to do.
• 17:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: When you share, you're gonna be able to share exactly what you want to share, how much.
• 17:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Some people get a little bit off kilter on that.
• 17:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, I don't get I don't get a bonus point.
• 17:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't get a a sticker, smiley sticker.
• 17:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I I don't I don't get that at the end of my sessions with my therapist, my psychiatrist.
• 17:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't get I don't get stars.
• 17:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like I guess I I I don't I don't get a sticker or a lollipop or I don't I don't get those.
• 18:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What I get is a little bit of satisfaction that I was able to take some things out of here and share them doesn't mean that I might not need to share about a certain thing or two or ten at my next appointment, but at least at this stage, I'm able to say to myself, all right, I'm glad I I'm glad I showed up.
• 18:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm glad I stood up instead of just sat down.
• 18:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm glad I'm helping.
• 18:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know all the ways that we're helping.
• 18:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I know the ways we want to help.
• 19:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But there's a lot of people we're not gonna hear from that we helped and are helping and will be will be helping into the future.
• 19:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's okay.
• 19:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I'll be like, oh, I got a hundred smiley face stickers because uh I want uh a hundred therapy appointments.
• 19:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or I remember to take my medication at the specified times.
• 19:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean, I guess it would be nice, right?
• 19:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Any type of validation it could be very nice.
• 20:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But that's not the case.
• 20:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: No.
• 20:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not so that's why we gotta be cognizant of what's in our mind and what we need as an individual.
• 20:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like I needed this appointment today, I needed it, it just so happened it was today.
• 20:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yesterday would have worked fine, the day before would have worked fine, and I've said this before, and I'll say it again.
• 20:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Every time I have an appointment scheduled dealing with my mental health, I don't know how it happens, but it's usually an appointment that is right after some kind of experience, some kind of event that I need to share about.
• 21:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we don't need to feel ashamed.
• 21:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Absolutely not.
• 21:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Throw stigmas out the window.
• 21:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is life, people.
• 21:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is life.
• 21:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't care about a stigma.
• 21:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't care about a stigma.
• 21:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't care about a stigma.
• 22:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Stigma.
• 22:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And one of my wishes is that you wouldn't care about a stigma.
• 22:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if you need to talk to somebody or need some help, that you do that, that you reach out.
• 22:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And sometimes when there's recommendations of a higher degree of help.
• 22:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That we don't look at that as a bad thing.
• 22:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We don't look at that as people are cornering us.
• 22:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The walls are closing in.
• 22:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They don't care about me.
• 22:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've been there done that.
• 22:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And it's not fun.
• 23:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I know what it's like to an extent.
• 23:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The best thing you can do for you is to invest in you.
• 23:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So whether that's working out the gym, whether that's your mental health care, whether that's medication, whatever that may be, therapy visits, psychiatry visits, appointments, I guess.
• 23:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: More appropriate word to use.
• 23:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But thank you for watching.
• 23:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for listening.
• 23:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you can give us a thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, reshare, repost, pull out your phone, share the Voices for Voices podcast with 25, 50, 100, 200 contacts.
• 24:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Please, that would be amazing if you could do that for us.
• 24:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We want to help a lot of people.
• 24:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We want to reach a lot of people.
• 24:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We want to reach and help at least three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond.
• 24:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's what I'm here for.
• 24:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's what I've come to the conclusion.
• 24:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's why we have over 527, 28 episodes.
• 24:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And why why we're continuing strong, getting stronger by the day.
• 24:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Doesn't matter if you're watching, listening, here in the United States, or in another country.
• 25:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for including Voices for Voices and being part of the Voices for Voices family.
• 25:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So until next time, let's celebrate the voices of everybody in the world.
• 25:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And let's also be a voice for not only ourselves, but somebody else in need.
• 25:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We'll see you next time.
• 25:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Bye bye for now.