Latest / The Reformed Tired Girls Club Podcast / The Reality of Emotions and Circumstances Coexisting
Transcript
- Heather Copfer: Okay, so today I want to talk about the reality of emotions coexisting and I really think this is an important topic because when you're living with health issues, whether that's narcolepsy, chronic illness, know, feeling like a stranger in your body with digestive issues and hormone issues, We aren't necessarily going to let the emotional toll, emotional, emotional toll of all of that be present when we are with our friends or at an event or at work or just living our daily lives, right? And so when you open up about the emotional toll your health struggles have on you, and this is really just speaking from personal experience, people will often be like, what? It's like, had no idea, or you seemed fine. ⁓ But something about them being shocked, right? That you were feeling a certain way on the inside. Emotions are almost always coexisting within us, especially if you're somebody who is navigating health challenges. And you know, for me, what this looked like is, you know, just being so happy and so free when I was on the soccer field or on the stage and in those settings, I really just felt such joy and such freedom when I was doing those things that I really, really loved and that brought me so much joy. But you know, still, still deep down, I was dealing with a deeper sadness and confusion and anger. especially when taken out of those environments that made me showcase that more positive, upbeat side of me. I also think this is an important topic to talk about because you truly never know what is going on with people beneath the surface. And you know, honestly, to my generation and the generation before me, we weren't really taught that it was okay, that it was even safe to talk about our mental health, to talk about how we're really feeling. It was a bit of a taboo subject. And to just share a quick little story, I hit a breaking point with my mental health back in, I wanna say it was about 2014, 2015. So a while ago, I wanna say that's, that was about like 10 years ago. I just hit a breaking point where I couldn't keep it in anymore. And so I, and I was always, I was never, I've always struggled with communication ever since I was a kid. But what I did know is that I could communicate best if I wrote. So I wrote a private blog post just detailing everything that I was struggling with. I mean, not detailing like the specifics, more just about how I was feeling emotionally and mentally. And I wrote it. and I sent it to my four or five closest friends. and I remember them being really confused, ⁓ surprised. Because again, when we're together and having fun nights out and doing whatever, it's not like I was putting these emotions on display, right? Like I in moment having... a good time, trying to have a good time and being present and genuinely really having a good time, but there was always, you know, just this undercurrent beneath all of it of what I was struggling with. those emotions were more prominent when I was alone. Right? You hear people talk about how they hate being alone. I used to be one of those people. And just speaking on my experience, Being alone is terrible because you're alone with your thoughts, you're alone with your emotions, there's nothing to distract you from how you're really truly feeling on the inside. and I just needed someone to listen. And so I communicated that in the best way that I know how. And it was hard and it was terrifying. I remember feeling so terrified when I sent that to them because I've always too had this fear of being perceived as though I was weak. I've always had a fear of being perceived as weak And as someone who's also dealt with lot of perfectionism and perfectionistic ⁓ tendencies throughout my life, being seen as weak and fragile and less than is a very deep fear. But what I've learned and what I've got to experience is that when you open up and you get to be vulnerable in that way, it also gives other people permission to do the same and also peel back that layer and also show you in return, like, hey, I don't have it all together either. Like, hey, I'm also struggling too, which I also did experience in that moment when I shared that with my friends. And so... I really want to challenge you to check in with your people. Send a message, make a phone call, carve out some time, and be intentional. carve out some time of your really, really busy day because I know you're busy. We're all busy, but connection and having community really is such a vital part of being human and of not just surviving, but really thriving in our lives. And just genuinely ask your loved ones, like, how are you doing? How are you doing? And just let them know that you are there for them. If they need anything, even if it's just to be a sounding board for them, genuinely let them know and they will so, so appreciate it. And it's going to mean a lot to them. Even if it's not a lot of effort on your part, it's going to mean so much to them. And I think we really do forget in the chaos and the hecticness and the busyness of our lives, it's really easy. to forget, to check in on the people that mean so much to you. But again, really that connection and that community is really what helps us feel safe. And at the end of the day, our body heals in what? It heals in safety. So the more safety you can give yourself and give your body, the more able it is. to really heal. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of the Reformed Tired Girls Club Podcast and I will see you next week.