Latest / More Than Before / How Silence Heals: Noemi Beres on Gratitude, Anxiety, and the Power of Thinking Sessions

Transcript

How Silence Heals: Noemi Beres on Gratitude, Anxiety, and the Power of Thinking Sessions · More Than Before

• 0:00
  With losing my dad and losing my grandma and losing the business,
• 0:03
  it was a lot going on, but what I realized how life precious is
• 0:07
  and we just need to be grateful for every single minute that we
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  spend on this planet and thankful.
• 0:19
  Hey, welcome back everyone, my guest today.
• 0:21
  She grew up in a small town in Hungary singing folk songs and
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  reciting poetry, never knowing that those early rhymes would
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  one day help amplify voices across the world.
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  From working in a call center in Ireland to Co founding one of
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  Europe's leading podcast booking agencies, she spent her life
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  helping others share their stories with authenticity and
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  heart. She's the Co founder of the
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  podcast Connections and she's a linguist, an artist, a mother
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  and a voice of calm in a noisy world.
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  No Amy Bearish, welcome to more than before.
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  It's so great to have you on today.
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  Thank you so much, Nathan. I just stopped breathing when
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  you said folk singer. So that was thank you so much
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  for for inviting. Me what?
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  That is what we're going to start with.
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  So I would like to know an old folk song that you grew up with.
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  What? What's an old folk song that you
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  remember from Hungary? Maybe it doesn't make any sense
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  to just to say the name because nobody would understand, but
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  there are a few, a lot actually in Hungary it was, it's very
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  popular. It was very popular singing folk
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  songs and I still love them. Although my my son doesn't like
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  it when I sing at home. So I just have to keep it that
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  for time when he's at school, so.
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  Is it that he doesn't like the words or he doesn't like mom
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  singing? Mom singing.
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  Let's put it that way, yeah? Yeah, it was funny because with
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  our kids, I feel horrible for my wife at times because she can't
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  carry a tune and my my kids will say, mom, mom, please stop
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  singing. You can't.
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  You Can't Sing it, Mom. And so I feel horrible for my
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  wife. But you know what?
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  It's the heart behind singing that's most important, I think.
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  So sing out loud, sing, sing with all of your heart, even if
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  it's completely off key. Exactly, I understand that and I
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  love it and I don't care if I'm off key or not.
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  I'm usually on on. I'm pretty good, so like, I
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  don't listen to my son. So you grew up out kind of in
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  the outskirts of Hungary, in a small town outside of Budapest,
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  right? Oh, it's very, it's actually
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  like 120 kilometer from Budapest.
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  I don't know that in my. So it's, it's like, yeah, it's,
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  it's like a two hour, 2 hour ride from from the capital,
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  Yeah. So what was what was life like
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  growing up in your small town? Well, it, it wasn't the best for
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  me. I was kind of an, an lonely
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  child in my family and kind of an, you know, lone wolf lonely
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  child as well. I didn't really fit in growing
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  up. So maybe that's why I love
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  books. I loved art from the beginning
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  because that that, that's what entertained me.
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  And I wasn't the one that went to parties, drinking and, and
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  other things. So I had kind of a different
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  lifestyle than the normal teenagers had and, and also
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  ended up, you know, in in Denmark as an exchange student
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  in 199697. And that was a kind of game
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  changer in my life. And when I got back from Denmark
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  to this small town in Hungary, nobody recognized me.
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  Like literally, because I changed so much inside and
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  outside and, and I made-up my mind back then that this is not
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  for me. That's that life is not for me.
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  This is too small for me. I need to travel to see the
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  world, to experience other cultures, people, other
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  languages, because I just need to get out of that place.
• 4:02
  Yeah. What did you, what did you dream
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  about becoming when you were a kid?
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  Like what was what was your dream of, of what did you want
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  to do? Especially with books, because I
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  would imagine you read a lot and those books opened up a lot of
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  worlds that maybe you were like, I would love to do this.
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  What? What was your dream as a child?
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  It's, it's very interesting because that wasn't about books,
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  but I always wanted to be either running a travel agency or
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  something. So I played travel agent when I
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  was a kid and believe it or not, like I was running a, we were
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  running with my husband, an online travel business from 2007
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  up to 2020. So basically my dream came true
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  and in that sense, and I also wanted to be an ambassador of
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  like Hungarian ambassador in a foreign country or something.
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  So like age 5 and that was my dream.
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  And because I, I was pretended that I, you know, speak English
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  and I can go to foreign countries, I can travel.
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  So travel and there was something always about travel
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  and travel related that I wanted to be when I grew up.
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  No teacher or you know, lawyer or whatever.
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  Doctor. Did anyone in your family travel
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  much or or where do you feel like that travel travel bug came
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  from? It's the whole family.
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  It's from even my grandma was doing business in different
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  countries. My dad travelled a lot, my mom
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  so it basically everyone. So then no wonder that I love
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  travelling and we went on very long road trips with my family
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  in the neighboring countries like the X Yugoslavia, Bulgaria
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  and and I always loved it. We have very, we had a very old
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  red. It's very important.
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  It's a red Skoda. I don't know if you know that,
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  you know, brand, like car brand Skoda.
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  It's from the Czech Republic. And we had that one.
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  It was very old, rusty and everything.
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  But we, my dad drove it and we went and discovered so many
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  amazing places. And yeah, those memories, like,
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  you know, stuck with me and I, I remember them fondly, Yeah.
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  What, what? What was one of those travel
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  memories that really anchored your love for travel and
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  culture? Because you, you love culture,
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  you love exploring cultures, experiencing cultures.
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  What's what's a memory that you have from travelling with your
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  family that you think really sparked that love of travel?
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  I had so many like, you know, it kind of imprinted in my brain
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  and like one time my dad got lost.
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  Obviously there was before GPS and everything and he always
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  organized the trip. So he was like an A type
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  personality. So everything was planned, but
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  somehow he found a shortcut in, in somewhere in Yugoslavia, he
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  found a shortcut and this road wasn't prepared.
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  Only like 4 by 4, you know, vehicles and off road.
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  There was a complete off road place and people looked at us.
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  We were from another planet and we were just looking at them.
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  They were looking at us. And it was so much fun.
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  That's like, you know, getting lost and finding our way again.
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  And, and I also, I always made a mix tape for every single trip.
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  We have the cassette stuff going on back then when I was growing
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  up in the late 80s and 90s, early 90s at that time.
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  And yeah. And I would just keep, you know,
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  listening to those in the car. So that was so much fun.
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  And because I love music and traveling.
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  So music and traveling together, yeah.
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  It's just too many memories to remember all of those.
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  We could stay here for like 2 more hours and we can.
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  We have time. No.
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  What were what were some of your early memories of, of like of,
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  of lessons that you learn from your parents?
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  Because I know that you were close with your parents early
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  on. Yes, I was really close with
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  them and they were amazing parents.
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  And So what I learned about hard work and and also my mom really
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  helped me to build myself esteem and my dad too, of course, both
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  of them because I didn't have much back then, especially
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  growing up and being a teenager. So for me it's just building
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  this kind of self esteem to believe in myself.
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  And my mom told me when I was a bit down that you know
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  something, it didn't work out the way I wanted to be.
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  And she always told me that, OK, just keep doing it.
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  Just keep going, keep working hard because it will have you
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  will get the results. Just just be patient with
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  yourself. And, and I stick to this up till
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  now because I think it's really important in life and in
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  business to to have yourself esteem and also just keep going
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  and keep doing things and doing it consistently and
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  persistently. I love that.
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  So why did why did you go to university and and study
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  linguistics? What what drew you towards
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  literature and linguistics and and art?
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  What What drew you towards that? Maybe it's my personality.
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  I guess it was always like this, like, you know, literature, art.
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  So that's, that's part of me, that part of who I am.
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  And also because I was an exchange student in Denmark.
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  And then and then I learned Danish, went back to school,
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  finished high school, and it's like, OK, where should I go to?
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  Oh, let's go to the Scandinavian faculty in Budapest.
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  That's the only place that you can learn Danish, Swedish and
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  Norwegian and Icelandic. And there was, there's not
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  another place there. And it was really hard to get
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  into that kind of faculty because, yeah, not many people
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  wanted to be. But like, we had few places.
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  But there was, I don't know why so many people wanted to learn
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  Scandinavian languages, but then they picked us like 5-10 people
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  for each class. So it was, it was, yeah, it was
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  tough to get in. I love that you've you've
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  mentioned before, or at least I've heard you mentioned Frida,
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  Frida Kahlo. She's inspired you when you were
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  growing up. I know that she's had a number
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  of physical challenges. She had polio, she had a severe
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  bus accident. There's been a lot of things
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  that she's overcome physically. I'm curious, what about her
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  story? Her art captured you and
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  influenced you to be who you are today.
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  I think it's about, it's a great question and I know you did your
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  research at that part. And I love her art, the colours,
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  the the forms and the stories behind it.
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  And she was a very free spirited woman and she didn't really care
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  about other people's opinions. And I think somehow I aligned
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  with that and I kind of lead my own life and it's, it's just
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  fascinating. And she was, and also that she
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  was self-taught artist like, like myself.
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  I don't compare myself to Peter Carlos, don't get me wrong or
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  anything like that. But she was a self thought
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  artist and she created so much beauty in the world.
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  And that also proves like, yeah, but because there's some, you
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  know, snobbery among artists, like who, where, which
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  universities they attended and who get who is the better artist
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  because they went to New York or, you know, Rome or, you know,
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  it's, you know, wherever France. But then it's, you know, there's
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  nothing deep down in you what you want to express.
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  You can go to any kind of universities and you, you're not
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  going to be a great artist. But she was one.
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  And her style and whatever he represented in the world, it's
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  just amazing and fascinated me. And once I went to one of her
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  exhibitions in Dublin in Ireland, and I just loved it.
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  I, I fell in love with her art. And since then, I, I always, I,
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  you know, I'm just in, I'm in love with her and with her art
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  and yeah, even a photography exhibition.
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  I, I went some in Budapest in Hungary about her life.
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  And Oh my gosh. I mean, she had a very unique
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  and colorful life too. So despite the fact that she had
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  some physical challenges. Yeah, you, you definitely are no
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  stranger to the unknown. You, you like to branch out, you
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  like to do things that are, that are, that are new.
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  I mean the fact that you left home and you know, you were, you
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  were in your early 20s to leave home only with a €1000 I believe
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  and to, to really branch out to do something new.
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  And you've moved to a number of places around the world that you
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  just mentioned being in Ireland. What?
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  Where did you go after school and how did your traveling start
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  to shape who you were and to really hone in who you were
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  created to be? So first of all, I went to, I
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  got a job in Hungary, but I didn't like it.
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  And so I, I told my husband like, I don't want to live here.
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  I don't want to. I just want to experience a
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  different country and just do something else.
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  So we ended up in Ireland with yeah suitcases, 2 suitcases and
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  €1000. And.
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  But luckily I got a job because I spoke Danish and Swedish and
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  because Irish people, they don't really speak any other languages
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  than English. So they were always looking for
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  workforce who had like, you know, multilingual.
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  So I ended up in on the yeah. Was it the East Coast of Ireland
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  in a small town in a smaller town between Belfast and Dublin?
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  And yeah, I've worked there in a call center, as you mentioned at
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  the beginning for three lovely years.
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  But then I made-up my mind. It's like, no, this is not for
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  me for sure. And I I want to be my own boss.
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  And just just to reply to the second part of your question
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  that, yeah, I think like getting to know different cultures and
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  learning new languages, it's really broadens the way you you
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  see the world and it's, you don't live in a bubble anymore.
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  Like I worked in this call centre and I was kind of
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  sarcastic about that, but I learned so much about how to
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  about wrong leadership, but that's a different story.
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  And also learned so much about different people around the
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  world. I have so many great colleagues
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  from from Italy, from France, from Finland, from from Poland,
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  from everywhere. And I, I learned so much from
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  these people along the way. And they really form me like who
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  I am today because all these influences, all these cultures,
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  all these languages, they, they make you a more colorful person
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  and more understanding with the world and other peoples around
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  you. I I love the fact that that
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  language really is something that you love.
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  It's funny because here in the states, you're required to learn
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  a second language, learn in quotes and it's always
• 14:57
  begrudging. Like people, people don't like
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  to learn other languages, at least that I've met you love
• 15:04
  language. Like before we ever starting
• 15:08
  recording the podcast, I was fascinated and I had asked you
• 15:12
  how many language you've you've spoken throughout your life and
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  you started just listing them off.
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  And I'm, I almost lost the number of fingers.
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  I didn't have enough fingers to count how many languages that
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  you've spoken in your life. Almost 10 languages, 9 languages
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  and you're learning one right now.
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  Like what? What is it about language that
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  fascinates you, that just draws you in?
• 15:35
  It's a great question, Nathan. I I have no idea to be honest,
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  because why growing up, like I remember like clearly I was like
• 15:43
  5-6 and I was singing songs like I loved, you know, Bee Gees and
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  and I loved Eric Clapton. Like I was a strange tried.
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  I mean like listening to Eric Clapton at 856 and.
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  I mean, Eric Clapton's pretty amazing.
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  He is, that's why I loved his music and you know, all the
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  songs and I tried to sing in English.
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  I, I couldn't even speak English, but I was trying to
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  figure out the words and reading the lyrics and everything.
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  And, and that's how I started to learn.
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  That was like age 6-7 when I started to read the lyrics and
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  everything. And it always fascinated me.
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  And my dream was to speak English and sometimes I dreamt
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  about that. I want to be a native speaker in
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  English, but I will never be home because of my origin.
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  But I don't know, it just fascinated me that other people
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  express themselves in different languages and how their brain
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  works and how they express themselves and even the music
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  and the melody of different languages.
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  It's it's so, so fascinating for me.
• 16:44
  Probably that's why I became a linguist too.
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  So it's and the origin and where did we come from?
• 16:50
  It's. Yeah.
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  It's beautiful. And I love that.
• 16:53
  I'm I'm curious, you've brought your husband up a couple times.
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  How did how did he come into the picture?
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  Where did where did you meet him?
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  Where? Did this guy come in?
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  No, we lived in the same town and just a couple of streets
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  away and yeah, we met. I was 19 when we got married and
• 17:14
  yeah, it was, you know, when you are young and you just like, OK,
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  let's get married. And we did.
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  And my parents almost got a heart attack.
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  So that was it. That's how we.
• 17:27
  I love that. So how did what, what brought
• 17:30
  you all the way to Cyprus then? Because, I mean, it's a
• 17:34
  beautiful place to live, but what what, what drew you there?
• 17:40
  The weather. The weather, no, I mean, living
• 17:46
  in Ireland for seven years, like really thought you to appreciate
• 17:53
  the, the nice weather that like without any rain and no central
• 17:57
  heating from 1st of January until the 31st of December,
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  because we had those years when it was really cold and rained in
• 18:05
  for like 51 consecutive days during the summer.
• 18:08
  So you really appreciate the good weather.
• 18:10
  And I always wanted to experience Mediterranean
• 18:12
  lifestyle. Maybe I, I don't know, I somehow
• 18:14
  connected to the Mediterranean world before and yeah, it's
• 18:20
  really fascinated me. And they speak English here.
• 18:23
  So we picked a place where they actually speak English.
• 18:26
  You don't have to learn an extra language, which, yeah, which is
• 18:30
  you can, I'm in Greek, but nobody wants to, you know, speak
• 18:33
  speak with you because you speak English.
• 18:35
  So yeah. So it basically the weather and
• 18:38
  the Mediterranean lifestyle, that's what got us here.
• 18:41
  Interesting. So I'm, I'm curious, during your
• 18:46
  time of being a travel agent, what were some of the lessons
• 18:50
  that you learned about who you were during that period of your
• 18:53
  time? Yeah, it's, it's interesting
• 18:56
  because I, I kind of work behind the scenes and I didn't really
• 19:02
  have that kind of chance to figure out who I am fully.
• 19:07
  And so it's really interesting because doing like starting
• 19:09
  podcast connections really changed my life and the way I
• 19:14
  see myself. And during that time of just
• 19:16
  work, work, work, working behind the scenes, writing a lot,
• 19:20
  travel blogging, but it wasn't, I couldn't really figure out
• 19:25
  myself, to be honest. So I needed some time to, to to
• 19:29
  do that. And that happened during the
• 19:30
  time when we actually started our Portuguese booking agency.
• 19:33
  So that was which was really interesting that sometimes you
• 19:38
  end up doing different job and start a whole new, different
• 19:42
  things in your life and just realize like, Oh my God, I can
• 19:45
  do that too. I can be that other person too.
• 19:48
  Like we have all these seasons in our life and it's really
• 19:50
  interesting. So I love that.
• 19:52
  So, and then you back in 2019, a lot of things happened back
• 19:58
  then. Then you had the passing of your
• 20:02
  grandfather, passing of your mother.
• 20:04
  And then on top of that, you had this COVID-19 thing that was
• 20:07
  happening, right? Yeah, it's actually my dad
• 20:12
  passed away and my grandmother. That's OK.
• 20:15
  So I have had them flipped around.
• 20:19
  So your grandmother passed away. Your father?
• 20:22
  At first my dad. At first my dad, yeah.
• 20:24
  First my dad to cancer and then my grandma.
• 20:26
  Yeah. And then you also had COVID, you
• 20:29
  had COVID that the pandemic thing that happened at that time
• 20:32
  too. So everything in life just kind
• 20:34
  of hit all at once. I'm curious because, you know,
• 20:38
  you were talking about how you were going and going and going
• 20:40
  and going and there was really no time of self reflection of
• 20:44
  stopping. What did that time teach you
• 20:47
  about life of you know, I think we learn a lot, especially
• 20:51
  around mourning around the death of loved ones.
• 20:54
  But then also you kind of had this morning of of a dream of
• 20:58
  the death of a dream that you had had for a long time.
• 21:00
  Exactly. And it was a tough time for
• 21:03
  sure. And I think for everyone, not
• 21:04
  just for me, but for for so many people that so many families
• 21:08
  lost family members during the pandemic and businesses and
• 21:11
  work. It was a lot going on for
• 21:13
  everyone, but especially for me with losing my dad and losing my
• 21:18
  grandma and losing the business. It was a lot going on in our
• 21:21
  family. But what I realized how life
• 21:24
  precious is and we just need to be grateful for every single
• 21:28
  minute that we spend on this planet and thankful.
• 21:31
  So it's kind of that's how I introduce gratitude into my
• 21:34
  life. And it's kind of a daily
• 21:37
  practice that I do daily. And I also realized that art
• 21:41
  really helped me to heal, like creating art.
• 21:45
  And that was wonderful that I can, I can heal myself.
• 21:49
  I don't need much. I basically I just went back who
• 21:52
  I am and I'm an artist. So art helped me to heal through
• 21:57
  this whole process and the whole craziness that was surrounded me
• 22:01
  during that time. So what?
• 22:03
  What drew you to podcast connections?
• 22:07
  Why did? Why did you start that up?
• 22:09
  Yes, that was completely and utterly accidental.
• 22:13
  So that that wasn't planned at all.
• 22:15
  I mean, I, to be honest with you, Nathan, I didn't even know
• 22:18
  what a podcast is before 2020. And I never listened to 1
• 22:22
  because let's say, let's to be honest, I mean, Europe is still
• 22:25
  very behind when it comes to podcasting, starting podcasts or
• 22:29
  being guest on podcasts. So my husband came up with the
• 22:33
  idea thanks to a mentor from Ireland who said, OK, I'm
• 22:37
  starting this course so you can you can learn how to be a
• 22:42
  podcast booking or how to run a podcast booking agency.
• 22:45
  And I said because we had no other options and back then our
• 22:48
  other business just stopped working.
• 22:51
  OK, so let's do it. So basically in like 2 weeks
• 22:55
  time, we became podcast booking agents in 2020 and that was it.
• 23:00
  And we just, yeah, I, I don't rely that go that like you, you
• 23:04
  fake it until you make it. But that's how it worked.
• 23:06
  I mean, if you want to pay your bills and you'll pay your kids
• 23:10
  tuition and everything, I mean, you need to figure out something
• 23:13
  in a very short time. And that's what we did basically
• 23:17
  back in, in 2020. And that's how we started the
• 23:20
  whole business. And then it turned out pretty
• 23:23
  well so. I mean, it's, it's interesting
• 23:25
  because the, you know, I, I would agree the fake it till you
• 23:28
  make it isn't a great phrase, but there is, there's something
• 23:31
  about believing it until you achieve it, right?
• 23:34
  It's, it's this idea of you, you believe that this is the next
• 23:38
  step for you. You believe this is the next
• 23:40
  thing you really want. And you keep going towards it.
• 23:43
  You, you slowly make changes. And I think that's something
• 23:46
  that we don't understand as people.
• 23:48
  A lot of people want something, but we don't actually make the
• 23:51
  changes necessary to move into that space.
• 23:55
  And so, you know, something like a global pandemic outbreak
• 23:59
  happens and then everything slows down and everyone has the
• 24:03
  choice of deciding what, where do you want to move towards
• 24:06
  next? You know, I, I still remember
• 24:08
  Warren Buffett saying that at least during that first portion
• 24:12
  of the pandemic, he said right now is the time that every
• 24:16
  single person should figure out one skill, one thing that they
• 24:21
  would like to be better AT and focus on that one thing so that
• 24:24
  when things turn back around, you can focus on that new thing.
• 24:29
  You could become a new person and do something that's going to
• 24:33
  make an impact in the world. I'm curious how has been in the
• 24:37
  podcasting space, how is that impacted the world from your
• 24:40
  view? And what kind of joy have you
• 24:43
  received from being in the line of work that you're in right
• 24:46
  now? It's completely opened up my
• 24:49
  world. I, you know, I worked in there
• 24:51
  behind the scenes and somehow I just became the face of the
• 24:54
  company. And that was so interesting.
• 24:56
  And I had never did interviews. I never did public speaking.
• 25:00
  Maybe one like, but that was ages ago and it was just coming
• 25:05
  out of my shell somehow. And it's really open my eyes
• 25:09
  that I can do so many different things.
• 25:12
  It's not just like, you know, sitting in front of my computer
• 25:15
  and just writing stuff. But I can speak, I can express
• 25:18
  my emotions. I can interact with people from
• 25:21
  all across the globe. And I just really enjoy that and
• 25:25
  networking with people. And I didn't really network
• 25:29
  before. I did a little bit, but not
• 25:31
  much. And it really opened up my world
• 25:36
  and I came out of my shell. And as you said, I, I kind of
• 25:40
  became a different person because we all have these
• 25:42
  different seasons in our life. After 40, before 40, after 30.
• 25:46
  It's, it's really interesting. And for me, it was all these
• 25:50
  personal tragedies, losing business and discovering
• 25:53
  yourself again. I think that really helped me to
• 25:57
  become today. Now, you were hiking in North
• 26:02
  Carolina when you developed the silent thinking session.
• 26:06
  I'm curious, what is the silent thinking session like?
• 26:11
  If you were to encapsulate that in in maybe a couple sentences,
• 26:15
  what is it? And how has that silence served
• 26:20
  your clients? But also, how is the silence
• 26:22
  served you? That's a very complex question,
• 26:26
  yes. So, you know, when you're
• 26:28
  hiking, you don't really have much time to talk because hiking
• 26:32
  in North Carolina and breathe uphill, you can breathe.
• 26:35
  I mean, you are happy that you're alive after a hike.
• 26:38
  And so you can't really do those things.
• 26:40
  But what you can do, you can think a lot.
• 26:43
  And because I never had time to think after like, you know, all
• 26:47
  the personal tragedies, all the trauma, anxiety, I just didn't
• 26:51
  have time to think because I was just go, go, go, go do this, do
• 26:54
  that, create a new business, work with clients.
• 26:57
  And I just didn't have the time to sit down and OK, just just
• 27:00
  think because you, when you don't schedule a thinking
• 27:03
  session for yourself, like during your days, like, OK, from
• 27:06
  10:50, let's just sit down and think through things.
• 27:10
  So I noticed that if I have the problem that I don't have time
• 27:14
  to think, but other people do that too, especially in in, in
• 27:18
  nowadays when there's notifications everywhere,
• 27:21
  there's so much noise. So that's why I came up with the
• 27:24
  idea. If I need this, other people
• 27:26
  need it probably. And let's let's do something.
• 27:30
  Let's create a non judgmental place and where I can hold the
• 27:34
  space for other people. We can be together, but they
• 27:37
  don't need to speak. They just have some, maybe some
• 27:41
  agenda, some couple of things they want to go through, but
• 27:44
  they don't have to share with the world and they're just
• 27:47
  thinking and coming up with some great ideas.
• 27:51
  And but they need someone to hold them, like virtually hold
• 27:54
  them. And that's that's why I created
• 27:58
  the whole sign and thinking sessions.
• 28:01
  I love it. So what?
• 28:03
  What has silence taught you? Silence taught me to be more
• 28:08
  present, to listen to other people and to my own thoughts as
• 28:13
  well, because I didn't do that much in in previous years.
• 28:18
  I was just rushing through everything and I never took my
• 28:21
  time to listen to other people and listen to myself.
• 28:26
  It's, it's so true. Yeah.
• 28:28
  I, I always remember having conversations.
• 28:31
  I won't say the person's name, but there's there's a specific
• 28:33
  person that comes to mind and they they don't like the awkward
• 28:40
  silence. And I love the awkward silence.
• 28:43
  There's there's a beauty in the silence of just sitting across
• 28:46
  from someone and staring deep into their soul.
• 28:49
  Getting. Getting uncomfortable, but
• 28:52
  there's there's something about silence.
• 28:54
  I think you're right. That is really powerful because
• 28:56
  we are constantly bombarded by social media and notifications
• 29:01
  and our cell phones or even even sometimes in life, you know,
• 29:05
  like I was doing this, this, I guess you could almost call it
• 29:08
  silent work of going out to the front porch and sitting in the
• 29:11
  morning and sitting in the cold air and not with my phone, not
• 29:15
  with my Bible, not with anything and just sitting.
• 29:18
  And in those moments, those would be the times where my
• 29:21
  brain would go, oh, don't forget this.
• 29:23
  Oh, don't forget that. Oh, you should talk.
• 29:24
  You should call this person. You should message this person.
• 29:26
  I'm like, no, no, no, no. We're going to sit in silence
• 29:29
  and just working that muscle of being able to stay silent is
• 29:34
  really powerful. And I think it's AI think it's a
• 29:37
  powerful practice for many people.
• 29:40
  How? How would you go about
• 29:42
  structuring silence in your day? I always start with like after
• 29:47
  my son left for school, obviously there's no, not much
• 29:49
  silence in the house, but after he left for school, I do my
• 29:56
  exercise and I love exercising outside and you know, it kind of
• 30:01
  brings me joy. I don't like gyms and I'm not
• 30:04
  the type of person who goes to gyms.
• 30:06
  It's not nothing wrong with them.
• 30:07
  I'm happy for them, but I, I just don't like gym.
• 30:10
  For me, it's nature, being outside, fresh air and you can
• 30:12
  do that for in Cyprus like all year long.
• 30:15
  And then also meditation and which I do daily and I, I really
• 30:20
  love it that that's, I don't do like 2 hours or whatever, but if
• 30:24
  I can do like 1020 minutes, I'm happy with that for sure.
• 30:28
  And also kind of visualization and manifestation practice I do
• 30:34
  daily and it really helps me to start my day in a calmer way.
• 30:42
  And OK, it's not part of the silence, but I love drumming.
• 30:46
  And this is nothing to do with this, but it brings you silence
• 30:50
  inside. Like it brings you calm.
• 30:52
  And that's why I have a tongue drum, I have a frame drum, I
• 30:56
  have a jambe drum, I have a hand pen.
• 30:59
  So I pick them like whichever mood I am in that particular
• 31:03
  day, I pick a drum and I drum a bit like for a few minutes every
• 31:07
  single morning. And yeah, it, it brings me calm.
• 31:10
  It brings me it, it relaxes me. So, but it's yeah, it's
• 31:14
  definitely not silent. Well, you know, what's
• 31:17
  interesting about that is it it helps you with rhythm.
• 31:20
  It it helps you find rhythm. Yeah.
• 31:24
  I laughed because just the other day I was, I was sitting in here
• 31:27
  with my wife and we were talking and she was, she actually ran
• 31:30
  out into our living room and she's like, why do we have so
• 31:33
  many drums in this house? Like, what are you talking
• 31:35
  about, dude? There's drums all over the
• 31:37
  place. She's like there's a drum here
• 31:39
  and there's a drum here. And I think we have like 6 or 7
• 31:42
  drums and they're the majority of their are, are gym bays.
• 31:45
  And so there is something though, when you're hitting a
• 31:48
  drum especially, you know, actually hitting with your hand,
• 31:52
  there's something about getting into a rhythm.
• 31:55
  Like in, in life, we have rhythms, but I think our, our
• 31:58
  rhythms are so off because we are constantly going and it's
• 32:02
  all fast-paced. Just sitting down long enough to
• 32:06
  establish a rhythm is really important.
• 32:09
  In fact, I think there's actually been studies that
• 32:11
  people who listen to a specific type of music, your heart rate
• 32:15
  actually matches the beat of the music.
• 32:19
  And so there's something really powerful to that.
• 32:23
  You mentioned your son. I'm curious, what are some of
• 32:26
  the lessons that you've learned from being a mother?
• 32:29
  Like, I don't know, there's something really powerful about
• 32:31
  being a parent. It shows you the worst parts
• 32:34
  about yourself. It shows you some good parts
• 32:36
  too. What are some of the lessons
• 32:39
  that you've learned from just raising your son?
• 32:43
  To be patient like patients for sure.
• 32:46
  I mean, you need that, especially when you have a 13
• 32:48
  year old and also to listen to them like fully being present
• 32:53
  and listen to them, because once you do that from an early age,
• 32:57
  they will tell you everything later on when they have serious
• 33:01
  problems in life or anything going on in their lives.
• 33:03
  And thankfully I realized that he does that and if something
• 33:07
  troubles him, he always comes to me and that that keeps me kind
• 33:11
  of, you know, my soul and body and everything happy that OK, so
• 33:14
  he will do that in the future too, if he does it, you know, at
• 33:17
  age 13. So definitely patience and and
• 33:20
  listening fully and being present with them.
• 33:22
  So when you are with your child and they want to express
• 33:25
  something important, don't just put down your phone, put away
• 33:29
  your laptop and just focus on them because that's time is so
• 33:33
  precious and important. It really is what is what have
• 33:38
  been some of the more trying, trying portions of your life.
• 33:42
  You know, I love the, I love the Crucible moments of life where
• 33:45
  life really hits. We've talked about at least a
• 33:48
  couple of those, but as you look back on your life, what are some
• 33:51
  of the more challenging times that I, I love the fact that
• 33:55
  you, that you say just keep going, just just keep going,
• 33:58
  just keep moving forward. What are some of those times in
• 34:02
  your past that you look back on and you go, man, that was a time
• 34:05
  where I wasn't quite sure if I was going to be able to keep
• 34:07
  going, but I just put 1 foot in front of the other.
• 34:11
  What what was a time like that and and how did that help you to
• 34:14
  become who you are today? It's definitely when it comes to
• 34:18
  like for my like being an entrepreneur.
• 34:21
  And I got this question from a host that like, did you ever
• 34:24
  think about raising the vice? Like the dad?
• 34:26
  Was it like never? I never like I never.
• 34:28
  No, no, I am not the type of person.
• 34:30
  I'm just, I just keep going. I don't care.
• 34:32
  But when it comes to the personal life, it's it's death
• 34:34
  in my family. It's, it's losing your, my dad
• 34:39
  because I was kind of the center of his universe and only
• 34:42
  daughter, only child and losing someone so close to you, it's
• 34:46
  really shakes your world. And because he, he left us at an
• 34:50
  early age of 63, it's, I mean, we and especially that he, you
• 34:55
  know, he passed away on my son's birthday, on 7th birthday.
• 34:58
  So it was always, it's hard, it's hard to go on with life
• 35:04
  after his passing. And I thought that like, I will
• 35:07
  never be the same. And I didn't because I changed.
• 35:10
  I changed so much. But then I also got so much more
• 35:14
  understanding with other people and being on service for other
• 35:21
  people, help other people. And I could be kind of
• 35:27
  judgmental with other people previously.
• 35:29
  And I figured out like life is too short to to be like that
• 35:34
  forever. And because you can die at any
• 35:37
  moment and you may never know when we'll pass.
• 35:40
  So for me, it was really figuring out that I can, I can
• 35:44
  lead a different lifestyle, I can be a different person, I can
• 35:47
  be a better person. And I think somehow I succeeded
• 35:51
  in that. And also for me, it was a kind
• 35:55
  of joining the go giver community also helped me to
• 36:00
  really become who who I am and figuring out like, okay, so I
• 36:03
  was a goal giver in my whole life.
• 36:05
  I just didn't know about it. And that that was, that was,
• 36:08
  that was a great moment when I realized that.
• 36:11
  I love that you bring up the Go Giver.
• 36:13
  You know, Bob is such an incredible guy.
• 36:16
  Was great having him on the podcast pretty recently
• 36:19
  actually. But one of the things that's so
• 36:22
  powerful about what Bob talks about is this idea of giving.
• 36:26
  It's important to give. Like giving is one of the most
• 36:30
  fundamental things about life. It's about growing community.
• 36:33
  It's about growing business for you.
• 36:37
  Growing up, there was a lot of scarcity mindset in your home.
• 36:41
  I'm curious how, how have you seen you the way that you see
• 36:46
  the world shift throughout your life?
• 36:48
  Because I know that you've talked about kind of that the
• 36:53
  mentality of the limited belief of there's the scarcity mindset.
• 36:59
  What is going from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset
• 37:03
  do for someone? Oh my gosh, it's, it's, it's,
• 37:07
  it's a whole different new world, but it takes so much
• 37:11
  work. Like as you said, coming from,
• 37:13
  from, you know, Eastern Central Europe, it's always a scarcity
• 37:16
  mindset. It's a doom and gloom and, and I
• 37:19
  was like that for almost forever and I growing up until my 30s.
• 37:24
  And then one day one of my great colleagues and friends in
• 37:29
  Ireland told me that like, why are you like this?
• 37:33
  Why you're so negative all the time?
• 37:35
  And it's really like, you know, when just like that was like
• 37:37
  kind of my wake up guys, like, am I, am I really like that.
• 37:41
  And, and he really kind of opened my eyes and it really
• 37:46
  helped me to realize that I can live life in a different way
• 37:51
  than my parents did. And we always talk, I always
• 37:54
  talk to them like my my dad was alive and I always talk to my
• 37:58
  mom daily. And she still has that kind of
• 38:01
  mentality and vibe and negativity around everything and
• 38:04
  scarcity and money. But then you somebody, you don't
• 38:08
  want to live the same life as they did because you're a
• 38:11
  different person. You have a different life.
• 38:13
  And I definitely just acknowledge that she's like
• 38:16
  that. She's not going to change.
• 38:17
  She's 73. So that's it.
• 38:20
  I mean, I can change her and I don't want to change her, but I
• 38:23
  can change how I adapt myself to everything that surrounds me.
• 38:27
  And it took me at least 10 plus years to to get out of that
• 38:31
  mindset and to get into the abundance mindset.
• 38:34
  And that thanks to the goal giver community too.
• 38:37
  And also that because I love reading, I read in a lot of
• 38:39
  books about it and not just read them, but implemented them in my
• 38:43
  life. And I think that's that's pretty
• 38:45
  important. Not just have all those books on
• 38:47
  your night stand and never touch them, but just really first read
• 38:51
  them, second, implement them in your life.
• 38:55
  What really helped you to shift from the negative mindset to the
• 39:01
  positive mindset? Because I know, I know a lot of
• 39:03
  people who struggle with that idea, like they, they want to be
• 39:07
  a positive person, they want to have positive thoughts, they
• 39:10
  want to think good things. But for some reason, there's
• 39:14
  just this wall that they're constantly having to climb.
• 39:17
  What was what helped you go from maybe that limited mindset to an
• 39:22
  open mindset? I would ask a reliant question,
• 39:26
  Nathan. I love that that surround
• 39:29
  yourself with positive people. I mean, that's it community.
• 39:32
  I mean, it's so, so important. And I wasn't surrounded by
• 39:35
  friends and what I felt that they really like kind of broke
• 39:39
  me down and I, it wasn't the right community for me.
• 39:44
  And somehow during COVID, they disappeared from my life.
• 39:49
  And then I got my new family, quote UN quote, the goal giver
• 39:52
  family across the pond. And they completely changed the
• 39:56
  way I look at things. And that's really helped me to,
• 39:59
  to figure out like, OK, just you just need positive people around
• 40:03
  you, That's it. And you need to meet them, you
• 40:05
  need to talk to them, you need to be with them, and the rest
• 40:09
  follows. It's, it's all about energy.
• 40:12
  Like when you have all the positive energy around you, it
• 40:15
  really helps you to, to change you.
• 40:18
  And in the last couple of years when I got the compliments from
• 40:22
  people, it's like, Oh my gosh, you have such an interesting
• 40:25
  energy and positive energy around you.
• 40:27
  When I'm on a call with you, I was just sitting there's like,
• 40:29
  what are you talking about? Like am I really like, you know,
• 40:33
  I was, I didn't even believe in them at first, but then I
• 40:37
  realized that I did change. I just, I just haven't noticed,
• 40:41
  but I did and and it was and it was a big discovery for me, so I
• 40:46
  loved it. I love that so much.
• 40:49
  Consistency is another thing that is important to you.
• 40:53
  Consistency really does help in a lot of areas of life.
• 40:57
  How has consistency helped you not only in business but also in
• 41:02
  other areas of your life? Whatever you do, you need to be
• 41:07
  consistent. I mean, you, you start something
• 41:10
  like you start a sport, you're doing exercise.
• 41:12
  You, you know, you won't get a, you won't be a Schwarzenegger in
• 41:15
  two weeks. I mean, you need to keep going
• 41:17
  and doing things to get stronger.
• 41:19
  And when it comes to drumming, when it comes to exercising, I'm
• 41:22
  an avid Walker. I love walking.
• 41:25
  But I remember because when after my dad passed away, I
• 41:28
  could barely walk up the stairs because I had all these panic
• 41:31
  attacks and anxiety and then I realized like okay this can't go
• 41:35
  on forever. I always love walking by the
• 41:37
  Irish Sea when I lived there and I made-up my mind like okay, I
• 41:41
  need to be consistent with my walking.
• 41:43
  For example, just this is just a simple thing like 1 foot over
• 41:47
  the another and you can totally do that.
• 41:50
  And I started with 10 minutes, then 20 minutes, then an hour,
• 41:53
  and then I went on a hiking trip in North Carolina.
• 41:55
  So this is how I mean, you need to be consistent.
• 41:58
  You need to build up your muscles to do anything in life
• 42:02
  and in your personal life too. Yeah, getting out of the
• 42:06
  scarcity mindset, anything. I asked this question recently
• 42:10
  and I think this is a beautiful question.
• 42:12
  Just to ask, do you, which is if you were to see your life and
• 42:17
  who you are in a specific color, what color would you see?
• 42:23
  I love that because I did, maybe I didn't share that, but I did
• 42:26
  some color therapy courses before and I really enjoyed
• 42:30
  that. So I first I always thought I'm
• 42:33
  a blue, I'm definitely a blue. And then I went into black and,
• 42:38
  and now I'm more between, I'm more between green and gold and
• 42:42
  it's, it's really interesting. Yeah.
• 42:45
  But I. Would how would you describe
• 42:47
  that color formation? Like what?
• 42:49
  What would you attribute those different colors to in your
• 42:52
  life? Maybe the seasons of your life
• 42:55
  like, you know, different seasons and different ages like
• 42:58
  in in my 20s blue and then in my late 30s black and and now in my
• 43:05
  yes, I am 46 at the time of the recording and she.
• 43:08
  Doesn't look like it. She looks like she's maybe like
• 43:11
  13 or something like that. Oh, come on.
• 43:13
  Thank you. It's officially on the record.
• 43:18
  It's going to stay here forever. It's stay here forever and, and
• 43:22
  maybe that's my, you know, green and gold and and maybe a little
• 43:26
  bit of red because that's also my color in between that that
• 43:31
  describes my 40s. So I think it's every season has
• 43:35
  its color like in like fall and winter and summer.
• 43:40
  I love it, it's so good. What have been some of your life
• 43:44
  like the the go to lessons that have really helped you build the
• 43:49
  foundation of your life? If someone, if someone were to
• 43:51
  come up to you and say, no, I mean like what, what are the top
• 43:56
  three things that you would say have helped you to become who
• 44:01
  you are today? Oh yes, well, first of all, work
• 44:07
  hard. And I know the four hour very
• 44:09
  quick and everything is very compelling everything, but it
• 44:13
  doesn't work like that, especially not at the beginning,
• 44:15
  for example, when you're an entrepreneur.
• 44:17
  So you really have to put into the hours and the work.
• 44:20
  And that's what I did for many, many years.
• 44:23
  And that's not the fun part. I mean, this is hard work and
• 44:26
  grinding and just doing the same thing.
• 44:30
  Keep on repeating. So first of all, like put the
• 44:33
  work in, like doing hard work. And I think Gary Vee talks about
• 44:37
  that too a lot. And I agree with him like 100%.
• 44:40
  And that's how he built his empire.
• 44:42
  And he doesn't lie about that. I mean, he proves it and being
• 44:47
  consistent. And that's my key, I think being
• 44:50
  consistent, whatever you do. And we talked about this really
• 44:53
  important and if you're an entrepreneur, like being at
• 44:57
  service of others and the help of others.
• 45:01
  Because I realized that the more I give, the more I get.
• 45:05
  I mean, everything comes back tenfold.
• 45:07
  And that's goes back to the goal giver mentality that I help
• 45:10
  people and I go out for them and I'm there for them.
• 45:14
  I listen to them, I make them feel seen, and everything comes
• 45:19
  back tenfold. How has faith influenced who you
• 45:25
  are today? That's a great question because
• 45:28
  I'm growing up in Hungary in a like ex communist socialist
• 45:32
  country. It's, it's, it's a, it's a
• 45:36
  little bit different than maybe the other countries in the
• 45:40
  western part of Europe. I mean, we went to churches and
• 45:44
  we went to places where we travelled.
• 45:48
  But faith didn't really play a big part in my family's life,
• 45:55
  you know, because of the culture and because the way my parents
• 45:57
  were raised and finding my own faith is that was another
• 46:03
  journey for me. It was a very interesting one.
• 46:07
  I was, I'm I'm Catholic, but I was, I've never practiced it and
• 46:14
  because of my uprising in my family and but finding your
• 46:20
  faith, whatever it is, I think it's a really important journey
• 46:23
  for everyone. And I kind of started to figure
• 46:27
  that out in my late 30s and I'm still on that way to to figure
• 46:32
  that out. And I think we never finished
• 46:34
  that or we are always like kind of work in progress when it
• 46:37
  comes to that. That's my opinion about it.
• 46:43
  I love it. Well, I think there's so many
• 46:45
  different aspects of who we are. The things that we go through
• 46:49
  really do shape our lives and who we become through, through
• 46:53
  and yeah, through time. Noemi, I really enjoyed having
• 46:58
  you on. I have one more question here
• 46:59
  for you, but before I ask it, for those of you listening, if
• 47:03
  the conversation today has resonated with you, go and
• 47:05
  connect with Noemi. She has some incredible work.
• 47:08
  You can actually go to her website and you can join the
• 47:12
  wait list for a silent thinking session, which I should probably
• 47:16
  go do that because I probably need some silence.
• 47:18
  But you can go to newamybanished.com, which is
• 47:22
  NOEMI PERE s.com and I'll put that in the show link, show note
• 47:29
  links here. Whatever it is, you guys know
• 47:31
  what it is, but make sure you follow her journey on LinkedIn.
• 47:35
  And she also has an ASMR style reading podcast on YouTube,
• 47:41
  which I was listening to it the other day and I'm pretty sure I
• 47:44
  fell asleep halfway through it. It's just so relaxing.
• 47:47
  So if you need something to fall asleep to, no, if you want
• 47:51
  something that's really just going to relax you, it's it's,
• 47:54
  it's a fun and enjoyable experience to go through.
• 47:57
  You know, we have had so many different people on the podcast
• 48:01
  and I'm always fascinated by the really the concept of more than
• 48:06
  before because we are always becoming something different
• 48:10
  throughout life. And I'm curious, what does it
• 48:12
  mean to be more than before for you?
• 48:15
  And how would you encourage someone to lean into being who
• 48:20
  they were created to be? For me, it was kind of I lead
• 48:24
  with purpose. I'm calmer, I'm clearer and more
• 48:28
  intentional. And also I know my why you and I
• 48:34
  trust my voice. And I think that it's really
• 48:37
  helped me to figure out who I am.
• 48:40
  And I would say tell people to, to show up with presence and
• 48:44
  with purpose that that's so important in life and, and
• 48:48
  please compliment each other and help others.
• 48:51
  People feel seen and maybe you don't even notice, but they're
• 48:56
  like sometimes not even in your own family, the people are not
• 49:00
  feel seen, valued by other people.
• 49:03
  And that's so important. So make them feel seen and and
• 49:07
  validate and validate them all the time, please, because that
• 49:11
  makes wonders in your friendships, in your
• 49:14
  relationships, in business. I love it, it's so good.
• 49:18
  Noemi, thank you so much for joining us.
• 49:21
  For all of you listening, make sure you share this episode with
• 49:24
  someone that you care about. I know that there are some great
• 49:27
  Nuggets that she has shared with us.
• 49:30
  And until next time, remember to be more, see more, and
• 49:32
  experience more than before.