Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Embrace the Threat (6/7): Learn to Say "No" So You Can Say "Yes" to YourSelf. #SelfCareSaturday.

Transcript

Embrace the Threat (6/7): Learn to Say "No" So You Can Say "Yes" to YourSelf. #SelfCareSaturday. · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Okay, now it is self-care Saturday, here on the Sweet Spot, and all week long we've been talking about the power involved in embracing a threat.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: How do you embrace a threat?
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: What strategies do you use to manage threats?
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Embrace a threat, what strategies do you use to manage threats and how do they make us stronger when we face them and we conquer them?
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: So today, on Self-Care Saturday, we're going to talk about stepping away from the hustle culture and diving into how nature, mindful boundaries and ancient wisdom can heal some of the burnout, some of the stress that comes out of facing and managing and overcoming threats.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: How do we renew our strength to face life's threats?
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: God knows, we are surrounded by threats these days, so it behooves us to know something about how to manage them, and that's what this entire week has been all about.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: But look, stress comes along with the idea of facing and handling a threat.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: There's no getting around it, and I don't know about you, but many of us face so many threats that we're dealing with a level of burnout that has sort of come to be our norm, our norm.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: When these threats pile up, whether they're deadlines or conflicts or dealing with self-doubt, they don't just drain our energy, they create like a biological storm that affects the mind, the body and the spirit.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Let's break them down.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: In the body, chronic stress can spike our cortisol, the stress hormone, and that can disrupt our blood sugars.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: It could affect our blood pressure, our pulse rate.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: It can weaken our immune system and disrupt our sleep.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: It can wreak havoc on the body.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: With regard to the mind, the overthinking that comes, the overthinking traps that come, can push us into this weird loop of anxiety that just never stops.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: And what that does is it shrinks our capacity to have joy.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: We walk around with this level of basic irritation, unhappiness and just feeling anxious all the time.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: And what about the spirit?
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Constant survival mode can dim our sense of purpose, our sense of connection and leave us feeling depleted.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like a forest after a drought, right.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: A forest after a drought right.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: A forest after a drought.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Everything just looks and feels brittle.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Think about that, picture that in your mind All the leaves and the trees and the twigs and the branches just feel so brittle.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: And that's what facing threats can do.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: That's why we have Self-Care Saturday today, so we can focus on caring for ourselves.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: And I want to turn to nature, not neuroscience, today nature science, drawing from nature, because I feel that sometimes we get so deep into neuroscience and the medical science that we can lose the obvious science that's around us in nature.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: So look, what's nature's prescription for a reset?
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Science gives us a very nature.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Science gives us a really simple rule Spend an hour or two hours in nature weekly and you begin to get some benefits.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I mean walk barefoot on the grass, grounding Did you know that grounding, when you put your barefoot on the grass, you can reduce inflammation in the body and you sit under a tree and listen to the birds sing, if you can.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Did you know that natural soundscapes have been shown to lower your cortisol levels?
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: That's why in these relaxation videos and these relaxation CDs, you always hear these nature sounds.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: You always hear these nature sounds because just listening to those sounds, listening to the crash of waves of the ocean, hearing the wind or the birds, literally, when the auditory nerves hear that, they signal the body to touch the parasympathetic nervous system and get you to relax and lower the cortisol, lower the stress.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: That's the beauty of being out in nature.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: And look, maybe you're not in the most maturic place, but look, even an urban park counts, any green space.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: A study shows, many studies show, actually any green space can boost your mental clarity and creativity.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: So my message is to get outside if you could, and even if it's cold, you know a walk, bundle up and go for a nice walk and let that cool breeze hit your skin, reset you, rejuvenate you.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: The key is getting outside and that's the ecological insight today, not neural, neurological, not neuroscience eco science, right, ecologically.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Just just as an ecosystem needs balance your body and your mind they need balance too, and not only that.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Your body and mind will thrive when it's aligned with the natural rhythms of the universe.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: A good thing to do is wake up with the sun and go to bed.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: When it gets dark, follow the light-dark patterns.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: So many of us myself, myself included we're fighting against things.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: We're literally up too late, we're literally pouring light into our eyes when we should be letting darkness come in.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: And you know, when you let the darkness come in, when you make your room really nice and dark, you allow melatonin, the sleep hormone, to surface and to get you a better night's sleep.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: But if you're pouring into your phone and looking into your phone and looking at the tablet and you're just in the light, you're just pushing more cortisol and that's disrupting your sleep.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: And do you know that one in every three or five people have a sleep disorder in this country, and that over 80 million Americans people in the United States, over 80 million, I believe the number, and maybe even 85 or 86 million don't get a good night's sleep?
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: So that's the reason we have to go back to nature, get to walking barefoot, get to listening to the ocean, Get into the light in the mornings to replenish ourselves.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: So that's the ecological truth.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: And if you don't want ecology, let's talk about the ancient wisdom.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about what it says.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: In all of the ancient wisdom that's out there, one thing in Buddhism that they talk about is this you yourself deserve your love and affection.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: You search the universe and won't find anyone more deserving of your love and your affection than you.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Biblical wisdom says love your neighbor as you love who Love yourself.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: You've got to love yourself.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Biblical wisdom says cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: You're fearfully and wonderfully made so.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Everywhere you look, be it ancient wisdom, be it in ecological sciences, be it in the biological sciences, everything is screaming for self-care today.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: All the traditions, the sciences, they agree.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Self-care isn't selfish, my friend, it's sacred.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: It's sacred self-maintenance.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: If you were a car, at some point you would have to get a tune-up After so many miles.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: You would have to take a look under the hood, you'd have to make sure the tires are okay and when the gas is low you're going to fill it back up.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: But we're not cars and we keep going and going and going.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Some of us have been running on empty for so long we don't know any other way to be.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: We're grinding on fumes.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: So that's what self-care, sadly, is about.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Is that?
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Look, the threats are not going to stop coming.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: As you can see around you, these threats are everywhere.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: But it's on us to take care of the vehicle, of the body, of the mind and the spirit today.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: So another part of self-care is this setting a boundary, saying no, saying no to save your yes.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Setting limits isn't rude.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: It also aligns with the ecological world, just as overfishing like, if you fish too much and you, you take too much fish out of the ocean, you end up depleting the ocean and you end up destroying it.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: So does your over committing to things deplete you, and that's an ecological truth.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: And you can't pour from an empty cup.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: If your cup is not full, it's hard for you to pour out of it.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: So today, on Self-Care Saturday, I want you to do an audit on your own energy.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: What's draining you?
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Is it a toxic conversation?
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Is it some of the people that you're around?
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Is it that you're overextending yourself at work?
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Do you need to cut off at some point?
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: Do you need to put yourself first?
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Do a self-audit and figure out what's draining your energy.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Why are you so tired?
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: What is it?
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Do you need to go to bed earlier?
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Set an earlier bedtime?
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Do you need to take some deep breaths outside?
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: What is that?
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Do the audit.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: The next thing is to protect your roots.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to stay ecological here.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: So audit your energy right and then protect your roots.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: And by protecting your roots, what I'm saying is set your boundaries, politely, decline something.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: This week, I want you to say no to something that you know is going to drain your energy, so that you can say yes to yourself.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Protect your roots, anything that doesn't align with your core needs.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: Say no to that and say it nicely and, by the way, no is a complete sentence.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: You don't have to say too much after that and then meditate on this concept of enough.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: So much of life is us trying to get more and more and more and more, and, you know, constantly flipping the TV channel from one to the other, to the other, to the other.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just important to sit quietly, breathe deeply and repeat this is enough, I am enough, there's enough, I'm enough as I am.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Everything is going to be okay.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Just telling yourself that is so important on a self-care Saturday like today.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Audit your energy, protect your roots and meditate on the concept of being enough and having enough, and that's your self-care boundary setting I'd like you to do today.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: As you spend 20 minutes outside, or 20 minutes with no screens, as you spend 20 minutes in sunlight, if you devote 20 minutes to recharging your battery, your circadian rhythm just like your cell phone, needs that recharge.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Right, you're no different.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: You need a recharge too.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: So that's it, that's it, that's it I want you to take.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: The last thing I'll tell you to do is take one quote, one inspirational quote or motivational quote.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: It could be a biblical quote, it could be a quote from a spiritual tradition that resonates with you.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Take a quote, write it down and walk around with it.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Let it be someplace visible that you can see it.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Why am I telling you this today?
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Why am I?
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Because it's self-care savvy and, biologically, when you go out in nature, it's going to lower your cortisol.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: I'm speaking to you as a doctor would tell you you get out in nature, it's going to lower your cortisol.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: I'm speaking to you as a doctor would tell you you get out in nature, it's going to lower your cortisol.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: You set a boundary that's going to conserve your energy so that you can heal.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Sometimes the healing doesn't come because the energy is being expended too much.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we have to conserve our energy and rest.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: That's the biological wisdom.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: The psychological wisdom is that you've got to use some meditation, some prayer, some mindfulness to rewire your threat response into a calm response, into a response that knows that greater is that which is in you than what's in the world, that if God before you could be against you, that you have everything it takes to get this done, that just as the sun rises and it sets, you will have another chance tomorrow, that kind of thing giving peace to your mind.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: And then, spiritually, the ancient wisdom reminds you that rest is a holy, sacred thing.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: It's not laziness, it's God.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: After seven days rested.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: The creator of the universe creates the universe and rests on the seventh day.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: So I don't know.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: That's a great example for me.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: The word says beloved, I give you rest.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: It also says which of you can become taller or become stronger by worrying None of us.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: So that's the idea today of self-care.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Sadly, the threats are going to come, and as mom and me my mom and I talk about it all the time sometimes we have to surf.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: We have to surf these waves.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: And so guess what?
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Maybe your self-care roots aren't deep enough.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's time to rest and recover and let them grow deep like an oak tree, so that you can be unshaken by the storms.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: May your saying no today to something that depletes your energy create space for you so you can have a life-giving yes, pour into your life.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: How about that?
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: And then you remember that you know, as the forest understands after winter, that there is such a thing as resilience, that blooms come from the rest.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Okay, my friends, I'll see you next on the sweet spot tomorrow.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: For slow down Sunday.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: Until then, breathe easy and take care of yourself.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: For Slow Down Sunday.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: Until then, breathe easy and take care Of yourself.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: This is Dr Derek.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Sweet Love and blessings.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: I'm walking with you Through the threat that you're facing.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: You're not alone, and sometimes the best thing you can do when you're facing a threat is to take care of yourself Mind, body and spirit.