Latest / Council of Kings / What the heck is 'no self'?

Transcript

What the heck is 'no self'? · Council of Kings

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Life, love, poetry, simplicity.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: A black cat somewhere over here who is a good friend of mine.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, Panther.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, boy.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Pure sensation.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is pure sensation.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: All sensations are allowed.
• 0:33
  if resistance to sensation is what's showing up,
• 0:36
  then that's showing,
• 0:37
  showing up is what it is.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that's fully allowed to, and yet on this path of self-inquiry,
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: realization, we gradually dissolve resistance more and more.
• 0:57
  We get deeper and deeper into what is the root of our
• 1:00
  resistance to pure sensation.
• 1:04
  The now is always an infinite field of pure erupting sensation
• 1:12
  cascading through
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: itself and it's truly a remarkable
• 1:18
  astonishing,
• 1:19
  mysterious,
• 1:20
  boundless display of light and color and texture.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And these words don't say what it is.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: We don't know what light and color and texture are.
• 1:31
  So it's a pure,
• 1:33
  radiant dancingness,
• 1:35
  a free fall through pure mystery,
• 1:39
  pure miraculousness.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And what is it that
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: causes us to resist that?
• 1:52
  Why are we not able to open to this miraculousness and just let
• 2:01
  it be what it is
• 2:02
  and fully appreciate it as it is without needing to continually
• 2:07
  project an idea of
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Happiness is somewhere else.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: There's something better somewhere else.
• 2:14
  Creating fictitious fantasies about a future that never comes
• 2:19
  and believing that
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: that is better than this right here,
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: thereby creating a grasping for something else and an aversion,
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: a resistance to what is present now.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: What is that movement?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Can we look
• 2:40
  really closely at the dynamics of that movement and begin to
• 2:46
  uproot it uproot it
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: and as you go deeper into this you discover that
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: a great deal of the foundational root,
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: perhaps the foundational root of that resistance is the thought of I,
• 3:06
  the thought that there is a separate individual autonomous me
• 3:11
  right here who is in
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: some way apart from the universe and can agentically
• 3:21
  enforce my will upon the universe to create something better
• 3:28
  than this here now.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that whole movement, that whole experience, again, is what it is.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is what it is.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: All sensations are allowed.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: All displays are allowed.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: All kaleidoscopic activity of this freshness is allowed.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: So nothing's being demonized here.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And yet,
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: when we start to really put that self-construct,
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: that I,
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: under the microscope,
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: when we start to really look for,
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: well,
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: what is that separate activity that seems to be separate selfing?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: What is that selfing activity?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: For one, we do discover that it's a kind of activity that comes and goes.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a discrete activity.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: permanent entity that persists across time.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: If we look closely at it, it kind of pops in and out of existence.
• 4:28
  You know,
• 4:29
  your,
• 4:31
  your self does not exist when you're in deep dreamless sleep at
• 4:35
  night.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And,
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: and I think for most of us,
• 4:38
  there are many moments throughout the day where we're not
• 4:42
  engaged in selfing,
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: where we're just,
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: there's only the bare naked self,
• 4:49
  flow state of whatever activity is taking place you know we're
• 4:53
  just driving or
• 4:54
  we're just balancing our checkbook or we're just creating art
• 4:59
  or whatever it is
• 5:01
  without making it a self-referential activity of oh I'm doing
• 5:06
  this now and then I
• 5:06
  need to do that and then I need to do that and I have this big
• 5:09
  to-do list and my
• 5:10
  life sucks I have all these problems yada yada yada yada yada
• 5:14
  so that activity of
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: selfing
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: comes and goes.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's not always there.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: So that's one of the first things to notice,
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: and that's one of the first clues,
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: one of the most primordial clues,
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: that the self,
• 5:33
  the small separate self that we have taken ourselves to be is a
• 5:38
  fiction in a deep
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: sense,
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: or it is not what we have taken it to be.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: We've identified as this kind of puppeteer up here in the head,
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: this little homunculus who somehow...
• 5:51
  the thinker of thoughts and the doer of actions and who's kind
• 5:54
  of pulling the levers.
• 5:55
  But when you look for that homunculus,
• 5:59
  when you look for that puppeteer,
• 6:01
  you don't find it.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: You find this kind of
• 6:06
  activity of a self-referential thinking structure that has a
• 6:13
  thought called an I
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: thought,
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: um,
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: at its root and identification as I,
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: um,
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: that kind of pops in and out of existence.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that is a continual flurry of sensation and activity,
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: just like everything else,
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: but within its own self-generated self-referential matrix.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, um,
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: that I thought seems completely real.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: And this all seems completely solid,
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: completely objective,
• 6:46
  like very important business where I'm this small monkey who
• 6:51
  has to navigate this
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: big elaborate labyrinth,
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: this rat race,
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta find my way through this maze.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: At least that can be the flavor if it's feeling more dystopian.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people are in a space where
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: they're generally quite happy being identified as a separate self.
• 7:12
  You know,
• 7:13
  there are actually a lot of,
• 7:15
  I think,
• 7:15
  relatively happy people in the world.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: And if it ain't broke, don't fix it in a deep sense.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
• 7:26
  There's not necessarily a need to look into what I'm talking
• 7:31
  about if you are
• 7:33
  fully happy with your life and you're not feeling a deeper
• 7:36
  calling to discover a
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: more naked,
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: immediate truth of your condition,
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: a more bare,
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: raw,
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: kind of microscopic view of what's really here moment to moment,
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: what's really going on.
• 7:55
  But if there is deep dissatisfaction or if there's just a
• 7:59
  burning desire for truth,
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: that's usually what drives
• 8:04
  um a certain segment of us to begin inquiring begin asking well
• 8:11
  who is who is the
• 8:12
  one who is suffering who is the one who um is resisting the now
• 8:17
  who is the one who
• 8:18
  feels like there's something else other than this now moment
• 8:22
  and is grasping after
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: it and when you start to ask that question and when you start to look
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: very nakedly,
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: very phenomenologically,
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: at your moment-to-moment experience,
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: things can begin to unravel in quite a profound way.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: you can begin to see that no thought is ever true in a deep sense.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: No thought is ever an accurate encapsulation of whatever this nowness is.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thought is far too low fidelity of a medium, you could say.
• 9:01
  Trying to pin this ever-shifting nowness down in thought is
• 9:05
  like trying to
• 9:07
  take a hammer and nail and hammer down waves that are crashing
• 9:11
  on the shore of a beach.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know,
• 9:13
  the waves are just going to continuously morph and shift and
• 9:17
  evade the apparent
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: encapsulation,
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: the attempt to pin them down.
• 9:23
  So you start to notice that thought always misses and that can
• 9:27
  deepen and deepen
• 9:29
  and become more and more direct and experiential until you take
• 9:32
  thoughts and
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: thoughts less and less seriously.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually,
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: when you're,
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: when you're ready,
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: when you're ripe for this,
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: you cease to take the I thought itself seriously.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that bubble of I can begin to pop,
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: can begin to be seen through,
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: or can,
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: increasingly,
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: increasingly dissolve.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you can increasingly experience
• 10:04
  this freshness,
• 10:04
  this nowness,
• 10:06
  as a wholeness that is not happening to me.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's not happening for me.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's not even happening as me.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: There is no me in a deep, deep sense.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Again,
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: words cannot say it,
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: so I don't recommend to grasp onto,
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: to overly grasp onto what I'm saying.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: But essentially, this investigation leads to
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: a kind of release into unknowing where you no longer know what you are.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: You no longer know what life is.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: There is no longer any distinction between you and life.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: There is just this miraculous,
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: all encompassing,
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: infinite field of ever shifting,
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: ever present freshness,
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: wholeness,
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: vividness,
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: juiciness that is dancing itself with unthinkable
• 11:03
  unfathomable precision and uh marvelousness orchestrating
• 11:09
  itself with with
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: devastating symphonic beauty as this ever-present
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: display this boundlessness this this quantum oatmeal self rearranging and
• 11:27
  shape-shifting itself through these endless myriad living
• 11:30
  sculptures every moment a
• 11:33
  never-before-seen immersive hyper artwork every moment a
• 11:37
  never-before-seen living
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: hyper tapestry of freshness and
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: When that movement is increasingly seen through,
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: that movement that reaches for something else,
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: that tries to turn this nowness into just a blip on the radar,
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: just a means to an end,
• 11:59
  just something I've got to suffer through so that one day I can
• 12:02
  get to this
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: imaginary future that never comes,
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: that I've been projecting of something else.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Happiness is somewhere else.
• 12:10
  That movement gets increasingly undercut,
• 12:12
  increasingly dissolved,
• 12:13
  increasingly seen through,
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: so that we are then able to truly rest as now,
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: rest as pure simplicity,
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: the purest,
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: the purest,
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: purest simplicity,
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: subtler than the subtle,
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: pure silence,
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: pure silence,
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: pure simplicity.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Thank heavens, pure simplicity to just to be no thing.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it can sound, it can sound a little intimidating, but
• 12:46
  But it's actually an incredible relief to just...
• 12:50
  To not have to be anything at all.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: To not have to be anything at all.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: To be pure silence.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: To be pure spaciousness.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Weightlessness.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: That is waving and dancing and wiggling.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: As all of this luminous, astounding display.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And...
• 13:11
  You know,
• 13:11
  you can have your cake and eat it too,
• 13:13
  to a great extent in this exploration.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Activity continues to occur.
• 13:18
  You can still do all the things you love and you're going to
• 13:21
  love them even more.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to be less attached to them,
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: less identified with them,
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: able to savor them even more.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're more fully sensitized to them.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: They continue to occur.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: But increasingly, you're just
• 13:38
  content as this nowness however it's showing up this nowness
• 13:42
  has an intrinsic
• 13:43
  quality of of repose of equipoise you could say and you are
• 13:49
  that equipoise there is
• 13:50
  less and less resistance to what is less and less resistance to
• 13:55
  what is so
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: That is the message for today.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Family, thank you for listening.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Much peace, much love.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Much peace, much love.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Be well on this infinite adventure.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Much love.