Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 312. We went silent for two weeks: A Bali Retreat, A Break, A Kundalini Awakening and so much more

Transcript

312. We went silent for two weeks: A Bali Retreat, A Break, A Kundalini Awakening and so much more · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the She Rises podcast.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: I'm Ashi. And I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: most authentic version of yourself.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: We're going to laugh, cry, and talk about the topics
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: everyone else is too afraid to talk about.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level self.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Hello everybody, welcome back to She Rises, a Monday episode.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Today is all things Bali, everything we got up to
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: from our retreats to our Kundalini healing session we did
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: to new tattoos to going offline, hiding from the media,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: all the things in between. So it's a juicy, fun episode.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: But before we get started, what is your share of
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: the week?
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: My share of the week is actually something I've been
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: putting on my stories. It's a little red light panel
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: that I've just recently gotten and I use it every
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: single day. It's my new favorite thing. It is from
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: High Strips. Red light panel.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: It's so good. I got one too. Put it in
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: the shower. Yes.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Early in the morning. Yeah. So they actually promote it
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: like you putting it in the shower. So like you
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: turn all the lights off and do it in the
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: dark and it is so beautiful. Highly recommend.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: It's so relaxing, isn't it? Yeah. I've got a big
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: panel and I still use that, but this little one
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: is so good to have in the morning when you
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: wake up not to turn the big bright lights on.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Love it. Beautiful. Mine's a TV show. It's a kidnapping show. Shocker.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Anything crime. Hey, I just love crime. It's actually an
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Australian TV show called And I don't know why no
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: one come at me. Sometimes I just don't love Australian shows.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I find there's been many Australian shows
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, wow, that was amazing. But this one
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: was so well done. It's called Last Scene on Apple.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: On Apple.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Yup.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: And all of the actors and actresses were incredible. Just
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: a wild story. I don't know if it's based off
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: a true story. I actually should look into that. But
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: every single episode, I was just like hooked in. Highly recommend. Okay, beautiful.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I have to check it out.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, lots of twists and turns and just, yeah, basically
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: it's about this little girl that gets kidnapped and taken
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: in by another couple and they bring her up in
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: a beautiful home environment, but the father... Always has this
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: intuition that his daughter's still alive, but it's 14 years later.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: He figures out paths on how to find her again,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: and he finds her.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: Definitely keep you on the edge of your seat, hey?
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, highly recommend. Very good series. Very well done.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Wow. I know.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: So, we went to Bali.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: And we went offline for two weeks.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I know. This is for many intentional reasons. Yes. We
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: realize we don't really take a lot of time offline.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: We're online all the time. Both of our work's online.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: We love being online. We learn. We share. We connect. Yes.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: but we just felt like we needed a break. Yeah.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Just wanted to have a break. And then we were
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: going to run our She Rises retreat and we just
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: wanted to be super, super present. We were going to
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: have Meg come over to film content again and she
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: ended up not being able to make it. So we
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: kind of took that as a sign of like, let's
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: put our phones away. We're going to need to be
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: on every single retreat. It's beautiful to get content, but
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: let's just be fully here with the girls.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: And it was beautiful too, because we were thinking and
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: we were having conversations between us of like, okay, well,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: we want the girls to be off their phones. So
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: we have to lead by example. We want them to
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: be off their phones. Let's do that too. And let's
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: put our phones down, not have cameras up everywhere and
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: just be fully, fully present. It was probably like one
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: or two moments across the entire retreat where we actually
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: did film a little bit, little moments between us or
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: girls lying down for their meditation and that was honestly
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: it and the feedback that we got from the girls
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: was that they were so just like they could feel
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: the presence from us and love just being totally dialed
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: in to that you know six days with us the
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: retreat and nothing else.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah I also was going through a media shit storm
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: which was just awful I don't wish it upon my
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: worst enemy for anyone listening or anyone that sees it
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: reads it engages in it you just cannot understand it
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: when you've gone through it you simply can't it might
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: look like it's like not that hard but it is
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: so consuming and so embarrassing and hard. I just did
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: not want to get out of bed. And when you've
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: got kids and you've got responsibilities and you live your
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: life online, you kind of don't have a choice. But
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I felt like Bali was the perfect time for me
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: to unplug and just be fully with the girls and
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: remind myself of my purpose and the girls I was
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: with and what I want to do with my life
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: and how I want to make impact. And it was
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: just absolutely perfect. really reminded me that I need to
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: be offline more often. I was already like aware, I
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: felt like months beforehand, I can use scrolling as a
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: way to distract or numb out or just when I'm bored.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: And I'd already tried to break those habits, but it's
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: even since coming back from Bali, I'm still not attached
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: to my phone. Like I will leave it in rooms.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I don't need to take it everywhere. I'm not carrying
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: it around. I forget about it. It was before it
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: would always just like be in my hand. And it's
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: like not like that anymore. Yeah. Which is really cool.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I said the same thing to you as well
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: around how, you know, we would be walking somewhere and
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: then like instead of having my phone in my bag,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: I'd have it in my hand. And I'm like, why
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: am I so emotionally and subconsciously like attracted to, addicted
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: to this thing? Yeah. Like having that break really allowed
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: that time and space. And, you know, I was supposed
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: to work like even through my business throughout Bali, even though,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: you know, when we ran the retreat, I was like,
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm just going to check in with my clients.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: We also have our group coaching accelerator that we were
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: doing and had still going. So we were checking in
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: with the girls there. But outside of that, I didn't
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: do any admin. I didn't do any posting. I didn't
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: do any like coaching outside of just client check-ins.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: And then maybe like one emergency client call. And then
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: that was it. Outside of that, I can't remember the
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: last time in the last six years that I've actually
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: had a holiday that wasn't a working holiday. Yeah, me too.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: I'm always on.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: We're both always on.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: And we love it.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: And we love it.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: This isn't to say that we're complaining and don't enjoy it.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: I genuinely love doing content. I love sharing my life
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: and sharing all the cafes and doing the review. Like
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: I kind of missed parts of that when we were
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: in Bali, but it was so good to be so present.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: Well, even I said to you when we first got there,
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: the first three days, I had these like the automatic
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: response to be like, I'm going to post it on
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: my stories. And I was like, wait, no, I'm having
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: a break. So it was like such an automatic thing
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: for me to be like, I'm just going to naturally
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: share as I do. And then just being able to
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: hold back and like really soften. By the end of it,
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: we were having amazing conversations at dinner. We always do,
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: by the way. There's never silence in the room, let
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: me tell you. But it was just full presence, no phones,
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: no posting the food, no posting this, no talking about
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: any topics or podcasts or anything. And I think that
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: was a really nice reset that we both needed.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I know this sounds silly, but we just got to
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: be friends. Our work, we had had conversations around. It
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: was just work, work, work. Yeah. We got to just
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: hang out as friends. Yeah. And after the retreat, we
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: had a couple of days together. And even like one
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: of the days, we were quite tired after the retreat.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of energy out and all the things.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: And our body just finally got slowed down. And we
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: just have like a day in bed watching movies. And
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: like as a mom, that doesn't happen. You can't lay
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: in bed all day and watch movies. You're lucky to
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: get an episode out on a weekend before someone needs
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: something from you. So to actually lay in bed and
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: for us just to hang out and just like take
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: each day as it comes, we had the best time.
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  Speaker 1: Like it was a proper day.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Break and a proper holiday together we just like vegged
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: out for like two days I think it was but
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: you know we still got up in the morning we
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: went for our morning walk went to the gym got
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: brekkie and then after that we were like we want
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: to watch my movie do you want to watch another
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: movie yeah do you want to order some food in
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: like we were just like just going with the flow
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: and I feel like for two people who when we're
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: together like we're always so regimented with work and this
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: and that we're always trying to make sure that we
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: can fit everything in To just not have to have
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: any schedule, be on Bali time, not know what fucking
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: day it is.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: It was really nice.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: It was so nice. It was just the break. We
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: got to just, yeah, let go of, especially for me
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: with the media, just like let go of all the
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: outside noise and get back to what's important.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: And it's your relationships, it's connection, good food, sunshine, moving
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: your body, remembering what's important.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: It was really beautiful.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: It was really nice. Yeah. The retreat was also incredible.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Amazing. Every single girl there.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: Every single girl. We had like over 20 girls with us.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: So special.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah. so special. So special.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: Every single girl who came in was open and willing
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: and ready. And even in the beginning where we had
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: like one or two girls who was like, oh, I'm
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: just like, okay, what's going to be unpacked here?
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Which is expected because some are nervous and a little
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: bit like walls up. Yeah.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Or like, you know, what's going to come out in
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: me over these next six days. And then like a
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: couple of days in the girls softened, they're making friends
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: for life. They're creating group chats. They have a big
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: group chat, by the way, that they've created post-retreat. And
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: It's so funny. What we create at the retreat has
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: been so intentionally curated for a transformation for you and
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: for our girls. It's really beautiful to witness how someone
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: comes into the retreat versus how a woman leaves the retreat.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: And even the.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: Feedback post-retreat of like, this has just unlocked a whole
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: other world for me. In myself, I'm coming home. I'm
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: doing date night with my husband again. I'm a much
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: better parent. I'm more regulated. I feel confident in myself again.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: And I just think That's what it's all about.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Amazing. I feel so honored to be able to guide
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: and work with and hold hands with those women and
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: go through that internal transformation, all the breakthroughs they have,
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: all the laughter, the inside jokes.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: The Kundalini awakening.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the awakenings. It's incredible. It really is. So we've
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: got two more happening in May next year.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: And that's our last Bali ones.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Which is sad and exciting. I know. So we've sold
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: out the first one. And then we've got how many spaces,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: like five left?
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, five left in the second weekend for May.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: In the second weekend, yes.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: Because we're not doing September like what we did this year.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: We did May and September. We're not doing that next year.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: It's the last one to get into.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: So if you've ever wanted to come to a retreat
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: and want to come on a Bali adventure with us,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: it is definitely an adventure. We do so many different things.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: And it's not six days this time. So we check
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: in on a Thursday and we leave on a Sunday.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: We just intentionally did this because we thought if girls
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: want to explore Bali beforehand or after– It's a shorter
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: amount of time. They can still have that freedom to
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: do that as well. Because I know for a lot
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: of women, a lot of mums, it's hard to get
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: away for a whole week, you know. Yeah. And we've
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: got a new accommodation. We do. Oh, my gosh. It's beautiful. Oh,
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: my gosh.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to stay there.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: I know. So exciting.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: So if you're interested in coming, just send us a
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: message on DM with the word Bali. We can send
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: you some more information. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cool.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: That is, it's basically, I'm going to butcher this, but
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: a very feminine way to do breath work. Yeah. That
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: really activates like your internal energy and helps you release trauma. And,
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: you know, you have a very wild experience based on
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: whatever you're meant to experience.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Because all the deeper layers like kind of cracks you open. Yeah.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: It's like a subconscious.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: It's a full emotional and energetic release. And the way
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: that McKenna explains it is it's the stuff that talk
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: therapy just can't reach.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Anyway, we took our girls through that and that was amazing.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: so incredible to witness her, for us to both support
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: her through holding the 21 women go through their journey
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: too because we were supposed to do this last.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Year in May. Yeah, that's right.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: But we were like, you know what, McKenna, we would
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: love to do a session with you. So we actually
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: had our own Kundalini awakening with McKenna and that was mind-blowing.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: It was beautiful.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: It was mind-blowing.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: I think Ashley and I both in our own way
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: were going into that knowing that like, oh my gosh, okay,
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: there are going to be things that are sitting here
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: for us, things that we need to grieve, things that
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: we need to process.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Let go of.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: Fully, fully, just like fully surrender.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: And my gosh, I don't think I've cried like that
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: in the longest time. The longest time. A lot of tears.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: It was crazy.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Just like deep rooted things in like the pit of
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: my stomach that like I didn't even know was aching.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: You know, it was like an aching cry. I could
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: feel it with like my whole being of just like
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: me wailing like pain, grief, sadness. you know, crossed boundaries,
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: like moments where I was angry and didn't express it
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: and like pain that I had felt from probably like
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: 10 years ago that I just like couldn't reach. It
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: was just something I've never experienced before. And I've done
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: a lot of breathwork before. Every experience is so different,
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: isn't it? It really is.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Depending on the environment, where you're at, your willingness, your openness,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: the person who's guiding you, the music even for me,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: there was certain songs that she'd put on that I'd break. Yeah.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: It was, yeah, really, really incredible.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: And it's funny, she says, like, with our girls at
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: the retreat, she's like, you know, you never know where
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: all these women are coming from, different walks of life.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: So she's like, I definitely go into it very softer
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: with them. She's like, for you two. I know you girls.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: We're going deep straight away.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: So she created, like, this beautiful rage playlist that was, like,
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: supposed to activate us. And she's like, I know you
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: guys will do the breathing straight away. You'll drop in.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Within 30 seconds, I was crying. I was, like, could
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: feel the emotion brewing in my throat and just, like,
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: sitting here being ready to release.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: And it was crazy too. I had this experience and
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: it's so hard to describe, but I'm going to do
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: my best. When I was 18, I was in a
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: unhealthy relationship and I felt pregnant and I was 18.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: I ended up having an abortion at that age and
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: I didn't actually start grieving that until May retreat this
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: year where it came up for me in the burning ceremony.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: And I realized that I was like sad that I
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: couldn't and wasn't ready at that time to support a
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: baby coming into the world. but I didn't realize that
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: emotionally it impacted me the way that it did. And
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: so when I did this like Kundalini awakening breath work,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: it was like this grief that was like, I was
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: laying flat on my back and I could feel the
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: energy like in my room space and I could feel
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: it coming up my spine and lifting my chest up
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: and like almost like an exorcism. Like it looked crazy,
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I believe. And it was like coming up in my back,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: my arms were open and then I would like lift
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: up over and like fall over my legs and if
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: that makes sense. So like, I'm in like a, what
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: looks like a birthing position. And then I've got my
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: hands over and then my head over my legs. And
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: in that moment, it was so weird. It was like,
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: this energy was like coming through me, through my womb,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: through my chest. And then it was almost like this
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: moment happened. And it was like, I birthed a baby energetically.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: I wasn't birthed, but it felt like a birth. And
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: I was like, profusely like crying in this moment. And
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: it was both beautiful, both sad, both, oh my gosh.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: And At the moment while I was doing that, I
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: had so much pain in my jaw, in my left side.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: And I kept trying to like pry it open. I
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, like I need to like get this
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: tension out of my face. And so I kept opening it,
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: but I was crying and I was trying to squeeze
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: this jaw open. And like, it almost felt like the
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: pain that I get in my jaw almost comes from
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: the sadness, the grief and like the pain of like
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: that energy of that little boy who I had like birthed.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: It was like letting go of that. like finally giving
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: myself permission after like almost 10 years, being able to
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: grieve something that I didn't even know was impacting me.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: It was like sitting in your body. Yeah, sitting in.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: My physical body. And this is not something that I've
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: ever gone to talk therapy about. I've not been like,
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I'm sad about this. I'm grieving this. It wasn't that.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: It was like so much more like it was somatic.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: It was in my body. And after that and multitude
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: of other experiences that I had in the Kundalini Awakening,
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: I remember like getting off and like pulling my eye
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: mask off and just being like, oh my God, like
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I haven't felt like that. I haven't cried like that
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: in ages, but I feel so much lighter.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: I felt relieved. I felt like, oh my gosh, I
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: And I remember getting off and being like, oh, that
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: was good.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: Needed that. That was good. Okay.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: And it's crazy, like it makes no logical sense, but
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: like spiritually I'm like, wow, in that moment that all
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: felt so true for me. It just was like a
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: really crazy experience. Like I would love to do it
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: again with McKenna.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's incredible at activating it and just the way
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: she holds you and how safe you feel with her.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Like I said to the girls before they met her,
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like from the moment you walk in you will
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: feel her energy. She won't have to say a thing
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: and you will just feel so safe. She's such a
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: cool human. Yeah. She's so cool. She is. Such a
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: cool girl.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: She's a cool energy.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: We love her. Like even a close-up where I'm like– cool.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: She's a vibe.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: She's a vibe. She told us at the start that,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: you know, if you've ever done breath work, your hands
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: can go tight or you can cry, you can scream,
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: you can laugh, or like you can get twitches or
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: like you can get pain in your stomach. And that's
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: what I had when I was in the middle of it.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: I cried, not as much what I thought I would.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: There was probably three or four times I cried, but
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I remember I was like, almost like as if you're
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: coming up to do a sit up, coming up. And
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: she was constantly at my throat. She said there's a
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: lot of energy in my throat at the moment. She
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: was like touching my throat heaps. And then her hand
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: was down around my pelvis, like just trying to soften it.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: And then she would push really hard down on my stomach.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: But it's almost like I felt like I wanted to cry.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: And for the one whole song, I was doing this
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: twitch with my abs and trying to come up. And
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: then this other song broke out and then I broke
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: and cried and released and then just like fell back
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: and then started crying. And I, it was like I
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: was conscious partly and Conscious enough to know I want
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: to cry. Like I can feel it, but I can't
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: quite get there. And then that sound happened. I cried
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, but my body, I couldn't control.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: My whole right side was like twitching the whole time.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: My hand, my shoulder, like.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Such a funny feeling.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: It's so strange, isn't it? But it's so beautiful. And
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: I couldn't really make sense of a lot of mine.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: And she said afterwards, don't try to make sense of it.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: You don't have to attach something to it. It's just
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: what your body needed right now. It doesn't have to
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: be like, oh, this happened because of this. And she's like,
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: it's very easy to try and make up stories to it.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Just like, let it be. It's just your energy that
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: needs to be moved. Yeah.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: So she's like, yeah, don't try to attach a meaning
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: if you can't find a meaning or if it doesn't
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: feel true for you.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: Just know that that was what you needed to release.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I remember I had like, it was so strange in
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: my left side, in my shoulder blade-ish.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: I had so much pain, like a deep pain that
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: felt so like deep in my frigging soul. Like, I
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: don't even know what it was, but it was just,
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: It felt like years and years of pain and then
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: I feel like it turned into anger and it was
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: just like as I was breathing, I was trying to
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: breathe through it and push energy to that space.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: But it just kept getting worse and worse. It was
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: like lifting me off the bed because I was just
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: like in so much pain and I was, I remember
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: even swearing at one point. I was like.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: I remember that, yeah.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: I was like fuck because I could feel it and
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: I just, it wouldn't release.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: And I just stayed on it. Frustrated. Yeah, I stayed
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: on it for so long and like because it was painful.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Same thing.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I don't really know. It just
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: feels like anger. And I felt like it was like
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: this fierce rage that was like deep rooted in my body. Yeah.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: And I just had to cry it out and let
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: it go. And then eventually it started to ease and
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: then I could move on to, you know, a different
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: section of my body.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: And how did you feel after with the shoulder? You
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: felt like more released, hey, in your jaw? Oh, so
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: much more released.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: Like after that, the cry and the release, I felt
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: like the pain and the clicking in my jaw was
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: like the most ease I've ever felt in my jaw
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: in like the last 10 years, which was crazy. Yeah.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: And then in my shoulder, like the pain went away.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: But I do notice that I still have like a
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: tightness on this side. I'm like, McKenna, I'm booking you
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: in again, girl.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's incredible. And when she tells her story and
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: how she got into this work, like it's her story
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: to tell, but she started doing this work just online.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: So this isn't something that you just can do face-to-face.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: You can actually do online sessions. And no, this is
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: not sponsored. We pay her for every session, every retreat,
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: and she is worth her money in gold. But I
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: just want to put people onto her because I know
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: how powerful her work is. But if you are not
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: in Bali, because that's where she lives, you can book
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: online sessions with her. And I love that she actually
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: did two years of sessions every single week to help
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: her through her grief journey and her healing journey.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to find her name on Instagram for you.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: McKenna dot something.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: So it's McKenna Royce. So M-C-K-E-N-N-A-R-O-I-C-E. That is McKenna.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she lives up at Uluwatu. But if you're in Bali,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: she can travel to you and do private sessions or
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: If you run retreats or anything like that. And she
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: works at the Jack's Healing Retreats. She's a healer up
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: there as well. So if you're wanting to go to
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: a whole retreat around grief. It's really beautiful as well.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So that was pretty good. And like coming home
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: from Bali, because we did it right at the end
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: of our Bali trip. So the two days after that,
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: it felt pretty tender. And then after that, I was like, wow,
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: I feel like I have 10 years worth of weight
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: lifted off my shoulders. It's amazing.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: And you can have post symptoms. Like you could be
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: going to the toilet a lot or like skin can
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: break out. You've got to drink a lot of water.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: You've got to take very good care of your body afterwards.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: But sometimes your body just wants to like keep releasing
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: or like purging out things that are not serving you.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: It's the same with ayahuasca. A lot of people are like,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: get scared of the vomiting or diarrhea but like spiritually
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: it's like your body's trying to get rid of what's
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: not meant to be there So yeah, we felt really,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: we felt tired that day and the next day, but
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: then like we started to feel really good.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: So highly recommend.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Highly recommend.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: What an experience.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: I know. We also got new tattoos. We did. So
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: last trip, Meg and I got I think I got
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: like six tattoos. Meg got maybe four or five.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: She got a few.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: And you nearly got one, but you're in the process
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: of getting all of yours removed. So you're like, no, no, no.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: I had some restraint. Then randomly one day she's like,
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: do you want to get a tattoo over here? I'm like,
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: you don't have to ask me twice. What are we getting?
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: So we're sort of going on Pinterest. Yeah.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: Just the fine art tattoo is just so beautiful. It's
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: so beautiful. And I know, I know guys, I'm in
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: the process of getting all of my tattoos removed, but
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: I want new ones. Yeah. You know, it's like those
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: ones don't resonate with me anymore, but yeah. The little
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: one that I got is it says karmic in cursive
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: writing on my right wrist.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: It's beautiful.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: And to me, there's like a couple of meanings, but
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: I think as I've thought about it post Bali, what
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: it really means to me is karmic is justice. I'm
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: a Gemini, so we represent like the karmic sign or
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: the karma sign. So basically like put good into the world,
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: you'll get good. If you put bad into the world,
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: you'll get bad kind of thing. To me, it also
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: represents like the two signs of my Gemini as well. Yeah.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: That's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. And I got unbound, which is
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: one of my words for this year, on my right
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: side of my ribs, like just below my right breast.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: Like in your brow line?
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You can like just see it in active rail swimmers.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: All of my tattoos are quite like hidden, but I
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: can see them and I know they're there, which I
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: really love, with a little butterfly. Unbound's like another word
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: for freedom, just freedom to like break outside of the
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: boxes that you thought you had to be, freedom to
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: Be more of yourself to become a new version of
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: yourself and the butterfly kind of represents that transformation as well.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: Spread your wings to be authentically yourself and to fly high,
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: you know, so... Yeah, it's really dainty and small, but
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: So that was fun.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: I was almost tempted I was going to get a
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: second tattoo, but I couldn't find the right font in time.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: That's right. And I couldn't find the right placing.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: That's right, yes.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: So I think that'll be another trip.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: I'm going back to Bali in December, so maybe then.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Ah, yes, with your siblings. I am. That's fun.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: I'll be over there for Christmas.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: Love. Just so exciting. How cool. So cool to have
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: that to look forward to. I also started Substack while
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: I was away. I've always loved writing. I've written a book,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: 15 Lessons That Have Changed My Life. Wrote that a
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: couple of years ago and- I feel like Instagram captions,
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: some people do it, but back when Instagram was in
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: its younger days, long-form captions were it. Everyone loved to read.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: You would share your story on there. Now, I think
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: people's attention spans on social media are not the same,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: but Substack, I started getting really engaged with this one
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: particular girl that was going through something really hard, and
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: she started writing on Substack, and I just was deep
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: in her thoughts, stuff that she has never shared online.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: She's never like spoken about. She's super open, really vulnerable.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: And I was like, fuck, I really like this platform.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: And I saw another girl that I follow and she
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: was really vulnerable. And I was like, this is so
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: fucking cool. And I thought this is a place where
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I feel like I could really share a lot of
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: my deeper thoughts without being cut off on a 60
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: second Instagram video.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: Or Or the caption length even.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: It's still getting shorter and shorter every year.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I write in my notes and go to post
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: in the caption. It's like too many characters.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: For fuck's sake, now I have to shorten this, but
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: then it's cutting out half my story.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: You're like, I have so much more to say.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Whereas on Substack, you can write notes, which is
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: almost like it's a version of Facebook status updates. And
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: then you can write articles. And yeah, I think I've
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: written like six articles now and I'm just really enjoying
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: sharing more and going deeper. And it's just more unfiltered.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: I find at the moment, and I hope it stays
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: like this, It's very raw and open. It's not AI.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Like people are actually writing about their stories and their
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: life and their emotions and what they've been through and
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: what they're thinking. And I just really enjoy the platform.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: So if you're on Substack, I'm over enjoying because it's, yeah,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: it's a cool platform.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: It is a cool platform.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Enjoying it.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: It feels really raw. It feels like all the people
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: who are wanting to get off social media with like
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: the quick dopamine hit.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: And who do have, you know, better attention spans and
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: want to read something in depth are all going to Substack.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: And they want more depth. Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: They're looking for it, searching for it. Everyone's wanting connection.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: Let's face it.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: Everyone wants connection.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Love it.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: That's really cool.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: So that's a fun little side project and a little outlet.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Maybe you just have a blog years ago. It's a
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: lot more fitnessy stuff that I used to post and
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: write about. Yeah. Just fun. I love writing. I get
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: lost in my thoughts. I get to express it out.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: So good. Yeah.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: So good.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Speaking of my sub stack, I did write a full
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Bali guide, like a personal ashy guide, like what to
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: take before to not get Bali belly, what to take
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: over there, all of my favorite cafes, favorite day spas,
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: different locations I've been to, ones I'd recommend for families
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: versus not families, apps to download, like literally everything on there.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: Because every time I go to Bali, my inbox is like,
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: where would you recommend? Where should I stay? Where should
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I eat? And And because I didn't do any of
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: the cafe reviews this time, I've just put it all
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: there so anytime someone asks now, I can just revert
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: them back there. But if you're going to Bali, go
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: and read that and take some notes because I've put
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: everything on there. Amazing. Yeah.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: There's going to be some good things in there.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: It is good. Lots of good photos too.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: So good.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: So if you want to join us at Bali next year,
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: don't forget to send us a message on Instagram just
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: with the word Bali. We can send you some more information. Otherwise,
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: we'll see you in the next episode.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: All righty. Bye, girls.