Latest / Voices for Voices® / Overcoming Stigma: How I Found Support After My Mental Breakdown | Episode 130

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Overcoming Stigma: How I Found Support After My Mental Breakdown | Episode 130 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Voices for Voices is the number one ranked TV show and podcast where people turn to for expert mental health recovery and career advancement intelligence.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Our show is all about teaching you insanely actionable techniques to help you prosper, grow your self-worth and your personal brand.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: So if you are a high achiever or someone who wants more out of life, whether mentally, physically or spiritually, please make sure to subscribe to our show right now, all audio and video platforms.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: As you can see, the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast publishes episodes that focuses on case studies, real-life examples, actionable tips and in-the-trenches reports and interviews from subscribers just like you.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: If that sounds like something that could help you grow personally or professionally, then make sure to join us by subscribing.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: So today in studio, we are joined by one of our say our Voices for Voices our early days.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: So before we were an organization, we were an event.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: We were the Voices for Voices, a brand new day event, and we had until this was back in it was 2022, when we had that and we had speakers that were both in person and through Zoom.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: We had music, sign language interpreters, a few pieces of artwork, and so we grew from that time to the organization that we are today.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: The organization that we are today, and so our in-studio guest, amy Messmore.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: She was one of our speakers and so it was a few years back and we're very happy to have her in studio to be able to catch up, see how she's doing and her mental health experience and how that's evolving, and to hear from somebody younger than I am and so I think might resonate with some of our younger adult viewers and listeners.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: So, amy, thanks for joining us.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you, it's so good to be here.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Absolutely so.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: When you spoke at our first event, it was awesome to get your perspective.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: I think you were either just started or you're in college, and so you were.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: You're walking through different experiences in high school and and then transitioning and into college and and kind of all those those topics and experiences.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Can you maybe talk a little bit for our listeners and our viewers that haven't tuned in to that, to check that out.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, so when I was in high school, I was diagnosed with depression because I didn't really know what to expect mainly like health care wise with that, but I had a lot of support from family and friends and that really helped me through college.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: Still struggled, but then another big struggle in college was anxiety and I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety in 2022.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: I couldn't even drive.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: I was terrified of any form of transportation.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Drive I was terrified of, like any form of transportation, but had a great team of doctors and a counselor help me through that.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: But yeah, that's mainly like.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: My experience from high school up until college was those two diagnoses.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: And so you mentioned, I see, being scared, fearful.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: You know, you hear the terms and our mind tends to get worked up and like what's this mean and what are people going to think, and all of those.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: So can you maybe talk about acceptance of that?
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Like, whenever that came, I see it probably didn't come at that moment.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: The diagnosis, at least I know with me that it came at a later date.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: But I think some viewers and listeners might be kind of in that same boat of I've been given this diagnosis or I've heard this and I don't want to go to a therapist, I don't want to go to a psychiatrist, I'm worried, and so there's that fear on top of an anxiety, on top of what's actually going on.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: And I don't think acceptance came until later for me either, when I realized there was like a really big problem and that I wasn't taking care of my mental health like I should.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: And that was actually this past February.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation and I, when I arrived at the hospital, I was like I don't want to be here.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: But then the last day I was in the hospital I was like I am so glad I came, because who knows what would have happened if I hadn't.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing that, because it's tough to talk about those types of things and I echo that.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: When I was, when I in 2017, when I was in the hospital, at first it was like, oh my gosh, what does this mean and how long am I going to be here?
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: And I don't want to take medication and how are the other people going to be like are they?
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Am I going to get in some like altercation, like all these things are going and in my, in my head.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: And then that first kind of group therapy, the the next morning, when there were other people not all just like me, but in various stages, various of you know needing some assistance, and that really gave me hope that I wasn't the only one going through it, and that was one of my big fears that, okay, josh, you're the only one going through it.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Everybody that you meet that, you see, is not that they have perfect lives, but they're doing much better.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: And how are they doing this?
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: And once we went around the room at that therapy session and hearing those different stories, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm not the only one that's going through something, and I think that's hard when a person isn't exposed to that and it's just they get this diagnosis and they don't have the ability, at least maybe right at that moment, to be put in a setting to see like, okay, I'm not the only person and so obviously there's other thoughts that I have to get taken care of as time goes on, but just that initial okay, that's one thing I can check off, that I'm not alone, I'm not the only person.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Is that maybe a little bit of what you were feeling, or a little bit different what you were feeling or a little bit different.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: That definitely helped, because I kept saying it, too throughout my stay in the hospital that it makes it made it easier to know that I wasn't alone and that there were like other, like supports there too.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Even the people like who were in group therapy the patients that were with me were very supportive and we had a lot of great conversations.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think that's yeah.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I look back at that that time for me, for those five days it I started out as like I don't know what to do.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I was given the choice, but I was just at my wits end.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: I didn't know what to do.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: I asked my wife what do I do?
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: And I was always at that.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Up until that point I had all the answers, I was able to find everything and at that point I did it and I was like, okay, I've lost 30 pounds and that that fearful, the driving part yep, check that box.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: That was me.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, like having panic attacks at a red light, like when's it gonna turn green, and uh, and so many of those situations that trying to explain it to somebody who isn't going through it, they're like you're crazy.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: And so I had that going on in my mind.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I'm crazy.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: But to actually sit and hear others and have the care, not only from the therapy there but medication, of what to start on and what to do and I love the fact there was like no phones, like it was I was able to truly just like reset my whole mind and body and I look back at that time now and, like you said, I'm glad I won.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know where I would be if I didn't go, because I was given a choice of well, you're not dying right now, so we can discharge you.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: And so it was very, very difficult and I was like how are my relatives going to judge me now and what are they going to say?
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: And how do I explain it to them?
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: And, as you probably know, know it's exhausting, sharing story and experiences and all the things we have built up in our minds over the years or the days and the months, and and so that was like another big fear, like, oh my gosh, I don't want to have to explain it again.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: I want, I want to be able just to continue on.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: And I think that for me now, with having just that continuum of care and having that team of being able to go into a therapy appointment and already having kind of the baseline information and years of visits where I don't have to go and rehash that but there sometimes ends up being where you have to if there's a new therapist In my case, I had my main one for six years and then he decided he retired.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: So it was like, okay, I had kind of this, this map of how I was going about things and I was stable, and now like, oh my gosh, I only got to find somebody new.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Then I got up to you know why are you here?
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh my gosh, like really can, can we just connect all the databases together and put that information?
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Because I just want to talk about, like, where I'm at now and I want you all to already know where I was and that.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: So if I refer back, then you have that idea.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: How do you look at therapy?
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Because I know therapy just that word to some people is a bad word like, oh my god, I don't need to talk to anybody, I'm fine, I'll just get through it.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: How do you look at therapy?
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Do you look at it as something that's good, that when you leave, that you feel a little bit better, that you're able to get some things, some experiences, some things out of our brain?
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I think therapy is a very good thing.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: I definitely believe that talking to someone, especially with that experience the experience that clinical mental health professionals have is important because they're trained in, um helping people figure out you know what's going on and um, I'm actually going to school for clinical mental health.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, awesome.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: So how did your recovery and all that, how did that play into that decision?
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: That's a really good question and I think since a young age I've always wanted to be a therapist.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: I went into teaching, didn't really enjoy it, and then I'm like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to school for to become a therapist and I really enjoy it and, honestly, I'm learning so much about myself that I didn't like even consider like before going into the program, which is really awesome.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so if somebody is interested in that and is in that, I guess that thought space of I want to go to school, I want to go to school, university, college, what kind of steps are needed?
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: Or you know something that I don't know pushed you over the edge in a good way of like, okay, here's where I want to be.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Like you said, I was in teaching and then this was like a logical next step.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: So for somebody who may have that interest, can you suggest or recommend, like kind of how, how the process might be if somebody has that interest?
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: um, so I um, I just like was thinking about it for a little bit and I was like I really do want to get a master's because I don't have a job right now and would like a job in something to still help people, and counseling was that area.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: I highly recommend asking support, even just scheduling with career counseling.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: That's actually the first step I took was Kent State for Alumni has Free Career Counseling.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: And talked to them too and I'm like I'm really stuck, I don't know what to do.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Talked to them too and I'm like I'm really stuck, I don't know what to do, and they kind of helped me figure out what those next steps would be.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: I also talked to people around the area.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: I'm in what they like about being a counselor, so I highly recommend talking to professionals around where you are for whatever field you want to go in.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: If you're considering a master's, and I think that's awesome because, just like you said that, whether it's the mental health field or it's a different field, of just sitting with somebody and having them ask questions about what do you like, what don't you like, and help guide, guide that, that decision, and if that's something that that you you want to do, then those are the professionals that can help guide getting scheduled with classes like can you give an idea just just how long that process was from when you talked to a counselor to when you were able to get enrolled?
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Was it a short period or was it a waiting period?
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: It took about two to three months.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: What I like about I go to Walsh right now, what I like about their clinical mental health program is they accept on a rolling basis, so you don't have to wait for like fall or spring or summer to enroll, they just accept applications throughout the whole year.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: And I completely understand that because at an earlier time in my life, looking at criminal justice at different schools, that there were some that I was looking at where they didn't except on a rolling basis and they wanted to keep the students together for, like, whether it's the four years or the two years, and if one of the I guess the last groups has already has just started, there might be a waiting period that could be like a year, and it's like, oh my gosh, what am I going to do for that year?
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Am I still going to want to be interested in this?
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: And I think accepting on a rolling basis lets you get that opportunity to not have to wait and it gives you the opportunity to go through some of those initial classes to see if that is something that matches with what those conversations were like.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: I remember being in situations where you read something on the website, you talk to somebody, but then, once you're in a class, like, oh my gosh, I didn't even think about this.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know if this is something I want to do, and I think it's just helpful for anybody, whatever they're looking, whether it's school, whether it's applying to jobs with different companies and in locations, and so what?
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: How?
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: I guess I'm trying.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: How long is that program, I guess?
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: so, if somebody is wondering, the program is about two and a half years.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: And it's I go full time, so it's spring, fall and summer.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, and do you like that, by going each of those fall, spring and summer, that you're just continuously in class doing projects, as opposed to taking time off where your mind just can, just can continue?
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: You don't have to, at least for me, like I feel like sometimes, if I wasn't thinking summer classes, I turn my education brain off for the summer and then I have to restart it up come, you know, august or September.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Do you find that being helpful, that it's rolling like that?
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: I really do like it because it keeps me in that mindset.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: There are like smaller breaks but then like it's almost like right back into classes.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: But I again I do like that.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: It's all year.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: And I want to give a big shout-out to you and to share with our viewers and our listeners that reaching out to people, for whatever reason or for whatever that may be, isn't always the easiest.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: And Amy reached out to me after, since we linked up a couple years ago for our event and had an interest in wanting to come share her experience and her story with our viewers and our listeners in 44 countries, over 300 cities besides here in Summit County.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: So I just want to give a shout-out that if you're in as a listener or viewer, if you're in a position, the worst thing you can answer you can get is no, or we have to schedule in a month or two, whether it's for a podcast or a TV show or whether it's for a sports program, whatever those things are.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Just reaching out and asking is awesome.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: So I want to give again a big shout out and thank you, amy, for doing that, because that's how we were able to get it kind of relinked back back up, uh, and be able to say, yeah, like we're almost on a rolling basis here's the, here's the, the times and the date, and, and.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: So here we are now we're filming it and it's, it's real, like, like the way it's, like, oh my gosh, what's it gonna be like?
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: And then, when it's actually here, it I I think it's like, oh my gosh, what's it going to be like?
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: And then, when it's actually here, I think it's pretty, pretty cool to be able to just be be around just the whole filming process and seeing how it works.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: And then knowing that the story is going to, you know, reach and touch so many, so many lives.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, thank you for doing that, to reach back out From a, I guess so like for your mental health team, like your therapists and doctors, can you talk maybe a little bit about how important that is, that you don't have to go by yourself through it, and I think that's something I know.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: I I suffered and I had a lot of fear about it, like, oh my gosh, I don't have all the answers, it's what I'm trying is not not working, uh, and just how important that is and it's not a bad thing to have people to, to talk to and reach out to um, I think it's so important, um, to have a team that supports you and if you're like kind of on the fence of I don't need this, or maybe I should go, go Because it's honestly so helpful.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: It's not a bad thing to help yourself.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: It's not selfish, it's so important, so important.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: And doctors and therapists they're there to help and like to have your best interests so we're coming to the end of our time here for this episode, would you?
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: are you able to stick around if we do a part two?
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, good.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: So I want to thank you, our listeners, our viewers, for tuning in to this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: Tune in next week for part two of our conversation with Amy Messmore, and until that time, I am Justin Allen Hayes, founder and executive director of Voices for Voices, and we hope that you can be a voice for you or somebody in need.