Latest / Authentic Living / Learning to Live Consciously with Katherine Jansen-Byrkit
Transcript
- 0:01Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
- 0:08things that really matter in our lives.
- 0:11And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
- 0:36Hi, everyone.
- 0:36It's Al Roxanne.
- 0:37Thanks for tuning in again to Authentic Living with Roxanne.
- 0:41So today, I have a a special guest, Catherine Jensen, and she is, someone that has a a, I
- 0:51would say, quite similar background to me in some sense.
- 0:54She's an author.
- 0:55She also speaks.
- 0:56She educates, and she's a licensed professional counselor.
- 1:01With over 15 years of clinical experience.
- 1:04She, has a holistic approach when she works with individuals to focus on personal growth,
- 1:11relationship transformation and embodied work through wakefulness as part of one spiritual
- 1:17path.
- 1:19So welcome, Catherine.
- 1:21Thank you, Roxanne.
- 1:22It's lovely to be with you.
- 1:24So I know when you and I chatted, a little while back, we talked a little bit about people
- 1:32like you and I.
- 1:32We pick these fields and we go into them and I would say based on lots of different reasons,
- 1:41we kind of adopt the element of introspection or maybe, you know, reflecting when we deal
- 1:47with people.
- 1:47And I'm I'm not sure that the average person kind of probably does that very often.
- 1:54Yeah.
- 1:55I I would agree.
- 1:57I would agree.
- 1:57That's why, in the first aspect, I I worked with an export in my book of on wakefulness was
- 2:06relationship to self, and a piece of that is self awareness, just becoming more self aware
- 2:12is transformational for so many people.
- 2:15They've kind of just been on autopilot.
- 2:18So that reflected that reflectiveness, is so important and so helpful on on that path of
- 2:24evolving and in our most conscious self.
- 2:27For sure.
- 2:29So let's let's talk a little bit about did you did you always want to do this kind of work?
- 2:35Was it a was it a passion of yours that you followed, or how did you end up doing this kind
- 2:42of work?
- 2:43Well, it was a quite a quite a journey because, it really in a way started with trauma.
- 2:51My dad he's passed now, but he was a therapist, but that was not my original calling.
- 2:56It was actually to be an attorney.
- 2:58But through the divorce in a way that he left, although he and I repaired greatly, the damage
- 3:05that had been done, I kind of imploded at sixteen years old.
- 3:09So I attempted suicide, thankfully, obviously, did not complete that and and left high school
- 3:16moved to San Francisco, but a piece of my journey was food addiction.
- 3:21And so once I realized okay.
- 3:23I wanna come back to Oregon where I was from.
- 3:25San Francisco was lovely and really I did, I, I kind of got out of Jot Dodge and I started to
- 3:31heal.
- 3:32On the way to become an attorney, you can get a bachelor's degree in anything.
- 3:35So I'm like, well, I really wanna reclaim my body and my health.
- 3:39I'd always been healthy before before what had happened.
- 3:43You know, my pain was kind of manifested in, again, in food addiction, so I was quite heavy.
- 3:48And so as I went down that road, health just was so important to me.
- 3:54It became my career and then went further to become a master's degree in public health, and
- 4:00I worked in that field for, itself almost 20 years, 15 to 20 years.
- 4:05So it was at 39, actually, when I was at my personal retreat, that I kinda got the call
- 4:10from the universe, be a therapist.
- 4:13And so I was like, woah, that involves a whole another master's degree, and and I already have
- 4:18benefits.
- 4:18And I'm raising children, and it wasn't convenient.
- 4:21But it's been incredible.
- 4:23So I was very much in love with public health, but it was time to do something different.
- 4:27And this this really came through and my partner was great about it.
- 4:32And now I've been in private practice the whole time, and I've written this book and It's
- 4:37incredibly fulfilling.
- 4:38So I I think your work feels the same to you.
- 4:41Yes.
- 4:42Yes.
- 4:42And I, probably took a different path than you.
- 4:45I started at 21.
- 4:47I got into psychotherapy at 21, because, you know, when I went to school, when I I grew up
- 4:54in Trinidad and Tobago in the Caribbean, you know, I saw some, you know, dysfunction with my
- 5:01parents' marriage and what I and I remember thinking there's nobody to, you know, to talk
- 5:07to, back then.
- 5:09And I remember kind of just being able to connect at a really young age.
- 5:14And but in in connecting, I could also offer a space for others that I would speak to.
- 5:21And and I kinda thought maybe, you know, I don't wanna become a doctor, a lawyer, an
- 5:25engineer, or a teacher.
- 5:27Maybe there's there's something I could do.
- 5:32Through talking, and that's kinda I I think at about age age twelve or 11 or 12, I decided I I
- 5:37wanted to help.
- 5:39And he kind of took that path.
- 5:42You know, it just went into school quite young and and, and then got into the field.
- 5:47My very first job was uh-uh responding to trauma, victims of crime at 21.
- 5:53And now I think back, you know, what what did I know, at that at that point.
- 5:58Right?
- 5:59And, you know, have loved it and been able to do lots of different things in the field since.
- 6:05So let's let's talk about let's pick up on that whole concept of that authentic self.
- 6:12You know, you know, the talk a lot about that and about awareness and and really, you know,
- 6:18spending time that time in that internal space.
- 6:21I would say that you know, in the last year and a bit, the world has been forced to become more
- 6:28conscious.
- 6:32And what you're seeing with people that you deal with and how are they dealing with?
- 6:37I'm I'm gonna say it's almost like a beckoning to consciousness or, or recognizing that maybe
- 6:44there are unconsciousness is getting in their way.
- 6:46What have you been seeing with the people that you've been dealing with?
- 6:50Well, I think for many people, COVID, it, as it was incredibly frightening, if not, the
- 6:57hardship of getting ill or losing a family member was very much a wake up call.
- 7:04And wake up calls can go a lot of different directions.
- 7:06Wake of calls can be, I'm really in an unhealthy relationship and it's time to go.
- 7:11A wake of call can be, I don't I want to know I'm I have immunity, or a strong immune system,
- 7:18so I'm gonna take different care of my body even though I can't be as active because I
- 7:22can't go to the gym.
- 7:23So I've been saying to my clients throughout the year, you know, we don't have to get back
- 7:28on all the horses, just because life will go back to what we experienced as a normal, we've
- 7:34changed.
- 7:35Something is different, and that's a good thing.
- 7:37And, again, it comes with heart and I wanna be so respectful of of that.
- 7:42Even just the social justice stuff that happened in the middle of all of that with the
- 7:48trial happening in the states for George Floyd today.
- 7:50I believe it starts.
- 7:52And realizing, between, you know, the toxicity of individualism and our loss of true community
- 8:00and in a way tribe.
- 8:02And then with COVID loss of try because I can't see my people.
- 8:06I can't touch my people.
- 8:09That excites me to think about some of these things actually, and there are deeper themes
- 8:15about how important we are to one another.
- 8:17You know, we know that for babies, babies can be impacted in terms of touch and love and
- 8:23attachment failure to thrive, but we are all that.
- 8:27So to me, I, I just am coaching and counseling clients to really listen to that inner voice,
- 8:33the the inner voice within.
- 8:35And again, who you are in 2021 now might be a different authentic you than, a year ago, with
- 8:44all that you've experienced.
- 8:48So what do you find?
- 8:50You know, what I when I've been coaching people, I've the people have massive anxiety
- 8:55and they're also having a lot of issues sleeping.
- 8:59Those would seem to be the 2 main pervasive things Is that something that you're also kind
- 9:06of having people, Yes.
- 9:08Present way?
- 9:10Okay.
- 9:10Yes.
- 9:11Yeah.
- 9:11And I seem to draw the I I professionally personally have no judgment for those that, are
- 9:18helped by medication, especially when you combine therapy, but, and I seem to draw a lot
- 9:24of clients that are trying to really walk the walk on their own.
- 9:27So, you know, they're they don't wanna take a sleeping pill at night, and they are very
- 9:31anxious and a few deep breaths doesn't always do the trick.
- 9:35You know, they practice mindfulness.
- 9:36They've done a little meditation.
- 9:38So, That's another piece in my book, and it was so important.
- 9:43That's the second chapter of my book is freedom from the mind because anxiety is so driven by
- 9:48an anxious mind and thoughts we believe and rabbit holes we go down.
- 9:53So that's a tool that I really work with right away even if somebody doesn't present with
- 9:58anxiety to make sure they have a sense of how to work with that part of their humanity so
- 10:03that I am not at the mercy of my thinking, with all the wellness of that.
- 10:09So, you know, sometimes it's inner dialogue kinds of work.
- 10:14Sometimes it's about being honest about lifestyle in terms of the contribution that can
- 10:19make to overall health, which which includes sleep and, and less anxiety.
- 10:25I, I love that you did said that in the intro.
- 10:27I really tried to pull together a holistic kind of approach to wellness.
- 10:32And so I think body practices are hugely important and continue with anxiety.
- 10:38So let's let's talk a little bit about that because I, you know, when I was scot into the
- 10:43field years and years ago, the concept of the semantic, which is basically for people that
- 10:49may not understand that concept, something that we live with and deal with and teach people all
- 10:55the time, but the somatic back in, you know, goodness in 90 in the 19 eighties I think maybe
- 11:02maybe in certain western parts of the war, I mean, eastern parts, philosophies, western
- 11:07parts of maybe the US, we're more an alignment with that.
- 11:11Yes.
- 11:12Yes.
- 11:12And, you know, and we've come along so much, and and I know you and I talked a little bit
- 11:17and, you know, that I done, EMDR, which is a body therapy, you know, for years years years,
- 11:26And then, you know, you kinda look at what's happened, you know, with people not sleeping,
- 11:33not being aware.
- 11:34Although, I think in 2020, my sense is that it's almost like if you had some bad habits, it
- 11:41became a bit more in that I could probably kinda get away with it, but being locked in,
- 11:48being worried about people dying, being worried about you know, what really is happening in the
- 11:55world.
- 11:56Like you said, all the civil unrest.
- 11:58That's a lot for the average person.
- 12:01All of us.
- 12:01Like, I mean, me included.
- 12:03I I would say to people, if you if you if anybody tells you, you're, you know, you're not
- 12:08stressed or anxious in 2020, I'm gonna say, do you pulse.
- 12:13Because we all will go through heightened levels.
- 12:16But let's talk a little bit about what you do with your body.
- 12:20Right?
- 12:20Because, like, to your point, like, people say, oh, I'm anxious, and we will say, oh, take some
- 12:24breaths or go, you know, do little things, and we know that anxiety is a whole to to recover
- 12:30from anxiety.
- 12:31There are so many variables that you have to get in to.
- 12:36Just talk a little bit about the body and how that plays through the mind.
- 12:40Yeah.
- 12:41Well, so kind of the the body find it follows wherever the mind goes.
- 12:46So just to reiterate, we want to start with, can I be in this moment?
- 12:51Can I not follow every thought and believe it?
- 12:53And that will that will start to settle the nervous system, but then body practices and
- 12:59deeper body practices.
- 13:01Like you say, a few breaths maybe did it in 2018 or 2050.
- 13:05You know, but there there's a whole another level, and I would even say the politics last
- 13:11year were another thing.
- 13:12And then the Pacific Northwest, we had wildfires It was like one thing.
- 13:17It was a pylon, a pylon.
- 13:20And it was like, well, okay.
- 13:22So you are resilient.
- 13:23And we have to dig deep and kind of find a new threshold.
- 13:27And so these the tools in the wheelhouse to deal with how the the human system is absorbing
- 13:34all of that because even if we tell ourselves, it's okay.
- 13:38There's a level of angst because of the uncertainty, you know, we were gonna just
- 13:43flatten a curve for 2 weeks.
- 13:45And then it was just gonna be till June, and then it just snowballed.
- 13:50And so that, I what I also teach is just appreciating there as much as you can establish
- 13:58a sense of safety and kind of have that conversation with your body, actually, about
- 14:03that that you can feel scared and we don't know if we're gonna get COVID, but right now, and in
- 14:08this moment, We are safe.
- 14:11I think much deeper states of that were necessary for people to find.
- 14:15And so, if you've never had know, conversation with your body.
- 14:20That's a great place to start.
- 14:22If you don't know how to kind of do some soothing exercises, whether it's yoga, whether
- 14:28it is longer meditation and deeper breathing and breath work, even massage, just having,
- 14:37body work done is a way to just kind of think about your system as a whole system that needs
- 14:43needs to be soothed.
- 14:46That concept, I mean, I know you and I know what that means, but that's that's kinda
- 14:51dissect that a little bit more for people because I often say, you know, to people, you
- 14:56know, when we were young, you know, you have that warm fuzzy blanket that you kind of
- 15:02probably took around as a child.
- 15:04But as adults, we're kinda like, we don't wanna kinda dialogue about that kind of stuff.
- 15:08Right?
- 15:09It's kinda like we're supposed to keep it hidden, but I would say that Yeah.
- 15:13This has been brought to the light that much more, you know, in the last little while.
- 15:17So, like, what's what's your routines?
- 15:21You know, a lot of businesses, you know, executives talk about rituals and stuff like
- 15:25that, but it's so much deeper in that I know for myself, Catherine, for instance, I walked,
- 15:34through the snow sometimes for an hour a half a day, sometimes just because I was stuck in my
- 15:40house and and then doing the kind of work that we did and, a friend of mine and I would walk
- 15:47sometimes upwards of 3 to 5 times a, a week.
- 15:51Yeah.
- 15:51And, you know, she said to me the other day, and I agreed with her.
- 15:55Said, you know, I think we protected our mental health really, really well due to this time.
- 16:00And, you know, I I walked alone, but I also walked with her, which was a difference.
- 16:05And, you know, and and that was something.
- 16:07And I want, I mean, I walked and I had never walked in such a way that I got clarity even
- 16:16when I didn't even think I was looking for clarity.
- 16:19Yeah.
- 16:20I hear you.
- 16:21You know, there's some research and I can't quote it.
- 16:22I apologize.
- 16:23But, the couples actually do better if they walk and talk versus they just sit down to
- 16:30process something.
- 16:30There's just kind of an aside I'm thinking of.
- 16:33But, the monotony, the lack of mobility, and the profound aloneness those things.
- 16:43So even I I was thinking of this when you were a young therapist at 21, you might not have
- 16:47known a lot about how to really work with that level of trauma.
- 16:50But what you did Roxanne was provide company.
- 16:53And I think what I have over the years of my clinical practice, as much as in my personal
- 16:59life, but it's especially seeing the power of undoing aloneness.
- 17:05Rather than analytics and problem solving and, of course, we can't fix COVID.
- 17:10We had to deal with COVID.
- 17:11So there wasn't a problem we could fix.
- 17:13We had no control, but undoing aloneness So you were with a friend, some of those times.
- 17:19That's huge for our mental health.
- 17:21Again, that sense of getting out of this individualism that is so, unhelpful.
- 17:26But then I was saying to people, mix it up, move your body.
- 17:30You can't fly anywhere.
- 17:32You're not going someplace, but just go to a different room for your next Zoom call.
- 17:38Have a different don't do taco Tuesdays or put something dick different in them this week to
- 17:43spice it up.
- 17:44You know, it was it's just so long to be in what, you know, the research would say just as,
- 17:50like forced isolation.
- 17:52They've done research on it, you know, with astronauts and other other groups.
- 17:56And people go a little very wild toward the end.
- 18:00It's called 3rd quarter restlessness.
- 18:03And so just working with our own system, as it sounds like you did and kind of seeing what you
- 18:11can do because there was so much loss in what we couldn't do.
- 18:15And, again, no endpoints So we couldn't keep waiting for it to maybe turn around next month
- 18:20or, you know, and hope we didn't get a spike.
- 18:23Yeah.
- 18:23I think people understand their mental health you know, I was saying on podcasts a year ago,
- 18:29yes, we need to prevent a public health crisis, but we also need to prevent a mental health
- 18:33crisis.
- 18:35I absolutely agree.
- 18:37And, you know, what I've I've seen is that, you know, situations that people are struggling
- 18:43with be for COVID, if they didn't really come to terms with it and and really almost sit
- 18:52within on a deep, deep level.
- 18:54Those behaviors have gotten, unfortunately gone in the wrong directions where the coping
- 19:01strategies have gotten more defective or or dysfunctional.
- 19:06Exactly.
- 19:07Yeah.
- 19:07There's, you know, the suicide rate is up as you will know or may have talked about on your
- 19:11show, but just the low people have gained weight.
- 19:13They were eating.
- 19:14They weren't moving.
- 19:16The alcohol, alcohol use and abuse has gone up.
- 19:20And so, it's a time to kind of shake off, those coping strategies and, and again, maybe use
- 19:28this time as a return to normal, kind of doubling down maybe on the commitment to ones
- 19:35health, mental health, and and physical health, as we go back into having a lot of choices.
- 19:41But, yeah, they it's COVID lifted, you know, the veils lifted.
- 19:44You just we saw really hard stuff.
- 19:46We saw amazing stuff.
- 19:49It was kind of, there was nowhere else turned because like you said, it was kind of that
- 19:53deeper quieting that one had to do, because of just, how how still life was.
- 20:01Right.
- 20:01And even if you try to escape, the reality is, you know, you can't you can't run from
- 20:07yourself, especially when physically.
- 20:09I don't care if you lived in a mansion or if you lived in, you know, a two by four room, you
- 20:15for the first five time, I think a lot of people were racking the diversions, which
- 20:20there's a lot of healthy diversions as well.
- 20:23You know, we couldn't use that to to get some of the benefits that we used to in the past.
- 20:29That's right.
- 20:29Yeah.
- 20:30I I think, it's, again, a relationship.
- 20:34I like to say these words.
- 20:37Who are you and is your life, your body, and your relationships are all of those a
- 20:44reflection of who you are.
- 20:46So if I am self loving, then what I put into my body is loving.
- 20:52And I exercise, but I don't exercise.
- 20:54And if I'm stressed, maybe that bath or the walk or a call to a friend versus a beer or a
- 21:03glass of wine or vegging out on too too much screen time.
- 21:07Like, it it it almost it has forced so many people to have to face.
- 21:11Like you said, they're low hanging fruit.
- 21:13These were not great habits.
- 21:16But but they they were more in moderation in until this last year.
- 21:21So, again, that's a good thing because it's like, really facing, you know, not that many
- 21:27people feel like their life is soon to be over, but in a way we're a long borrowed time.
- 21:32So both for longevity and vitality sake, what is your relationship to, that part of your
- 21:39life?
- 21:39How you take care of yourself?
- 21:41Or don't.
- 21:42Yeah.
- 21:43So let's talk about the book and the concepts and I'm gonna assume that this book would have,
- 21:49you know, would have been valuable to a lot of people because I think, you know, a lot of
- 21:55people are looking for They're looking for a deeper, deeper connection to themselves and to
- 22:01the world and and you you know, like meeting on purpose, I think, is been brought.
- 22:05I know in my life, it's been brought me more to thinking about, okay, I know why I'm here.
- 22:11I know what I've done.
- 22:12I know what I love, but what what now?
- 22:16Yeah.
- 22:16Exactly.
- 22:18Well, I slip the book into 2 parts, the inner world and the outer world.
- 22:23And I really believe in my own journey and then very much my practice change comes from the
- 22:28inside out.
- 22:29So I defined the sense of self is is not the ego self, not just the individual human self.
- 22:37We are human.
- 22:38But something more.
- 22:39And I left it just as a kind of a state of presence connection to something bigger outside
- 22:46of me some people would call that god.
- 22:49Other people would not call that god.
- 22:50I really steered away from that because that wasn't really the point.
- 22:53I think we all can have that sense of what sources us is us that, like, you know, this
- 23:01incredible, powerful energy that that we are, that animates this human body of you and I, for
- 23:08example.
- 23:09So there's so many people in the when they think about a relationship to self It's a very
- 23:15dangerous, very negative, very critical.
- 23:18So my first foundation of the book is establishing who am I?
- 23:23I'm something I am not just my individual self, but connected to something larger.
- 23:28And it includes my intrinsic worth, which is a huge piece of my clinical practice.
- 23:34Many people don't really embody intrinsic worth and intrinsic belonging.
- 23:40So I had to set the tone of the book of who is this river that is Catherine moving toward this
- 23:45ocean, which is the vastness that is this source of life room.
- 23:50And then I went to the mind, the body, mindfulness, embracing death and dying.
- 23:55And then in the outer part, relationships, finding your way into trouble world.
- 24:00I believe we're connected to nature, and we're part of nature.
- 24:03So I actually have an aspect on nature.
- 24:05And then for those that don't have an assigned religion, but they really identify a spiritual,
- 24:10just some ideas about finding one's own spiritual path.
- 24:13But what I did Roxanne is I put in practices because a lot of these ideas are great ideas,
- 24:19and I'm not the first to present them.
- 24:21But how do you go from not having intrinsic worth to having it?
- 24:25We have to change our brain.
- 24:27That's neural pathway work.
- 24:28So I would have an idea in a section.
- 24:31I would have practices to start to manifest that in one's life, and then I would have an
- 24:36inspiring story from the field.
- 24:38So Most of them weren't me.
- 24:39I have a few of my stories.
- 24:42Many of my clients, of course, with their permission and not their real names.
- 24:45A few of my children are in the book.
- 24:47Because I felt like I needed to say this is real.
- 24:50Actually, somebody really is doing this.
- 24:53Like, I have a client who, was diagnosed with bipolar, and that used to be his only
- 24:57definition of himself.
- 24:59And in this section, it's called path versus pathology.
- 25:02He still takes medication, although a lot less.
- 25:06But this was a way to wake up to this is this got me to therapy and has been part of my path.
- 25:12But but a very different kind of way to to hold it as as his.
- 25:17So that's a very long description of the
- 25:20book.
- 25:20No.
- 25:21But it's it's sounds fantastic because I would think that, you know, because I like, with all
- 25:28of us, like, for instance, I'm I'm using my walk again, but I Remember what I would go to
- 25:32my on my walks, the first 45 minutes, nothing would kick in when I was on my own.
- 25:37But the latter part of my walk, I would, you know, so I would maybe be reflecting on
- 25:45something, maybe.
- 25:46Right?
- 25:46And then I would get a voice, a deep down I I I was like, okay.
- 25:51Is this me?
- 25:52Is this me?
- 25:53Yeah.
- 25:54And then I I would get these messages that would say, hey.
- 25:58Whatever, you know, I was thinking about maybe you should think about this, or have you
- 26:03considered this?
- 26:04And I'm like, And then I'd be like and I'd be telling my sister after.
- 26:09And she goes, okay.
- 26:09You're okay.
- 26:10I'm like, I'm fine.
- 26:11But then and then I realized that it was basically messages that were coming from my
- 26:15bigger space with it from wherever, and I can formulate after, not when I was walking, but
- 26:22after I came back and maybe I kinda thought about it after.
- 26:25I'm like, wow.
- 26:27This is this is something that maybe not consciously been recognizing that I've been
- 26:32thinking but it's maybe something that's been in my space.
- 26:36And, you know, and I was trying to capture it.
- 26:38This is me now because I'm like, okay.
- 26:40I like that.
- 26:40But guess what?
- 26:41It wouldn't come what I wanted it to come.
- 26:43Right.
- 26:44Well, see, what I what I'm hearing that I love is the sense of emergence.
- 26:48So something came from deep within or beyond or both, however, we wanna language that that
- 26:54wasn't your mind trying to problem solve.
- 26:57Solve and analyze and and think your way there.
- 27:01And so there was movement.
- 27:03There was some time.
- 27:05You didn't try to have this happen in 7 minutes.
- 27:07It was even after 45.
- 27:09There was a patience in that, and then it arose.
- 27:12And that is how truth, that is how our own inner wisdom, that is how our own inner
- 27:17guidance happens.
- 27:19And so I really love that you're sharing that.
- 27:23To take the time I create the space, we had there is so much, internally that is available
- 27:30Yeah.
- 27:32So let's say the average person is listening and they go, okay, Roxanne and Catherine, this
- 27:37is all sold as well.
- 27:38It's good.
- 27:39You two kinda, you know, hang out in that space.
- 27:42But I, you know, I'm I'm I'm having a tough time.
- 27:46I'm anxious to sort of depressed.
- 27:47You know, I'm stuck at home potentially until, you know, whenever or, you know, I'm juggling a
- 27:55spouse or working at home with my children and all that stuff, where do I just start, like, to
- 28:02start.
- 28:03I hear you.
- 28:04Well, and I wrote the book.
- 28:06Each of these aspects, you can actually dive into.
- 28:09So say, all of a sudden,
- 28:11I have some kind of a person in my life with a terminal illness.
- 28:14I might start with embracing death and dying and and beginning to think about how does one
- 28:19actually navigate that wakefully my book is all about the grit because I might personally,
- 28:27I've, had a temper and I had to really face that and face the consequences of that.
- 28:34I am 30 years into my marriage, though I'm a kid of a divorce.
- 28:37So I'm always amazed that we're doing it, but six children and 10 grandchildren, and we have
- 28:42a huge tribe.
- 28:43And it's really in the messy that is the powerful stuff.
- 28:49This isn't about you and I just having a nice conversation conceptually about what it is to
- 28:53be awake and live consciously.
- 28:56Is actually in the hard stuff.
- 28:58And so to me, it's not, you know, transcendent of our circumstances.
- 29:02It's through our circumstances.
- 29:05So if we can meet, for example, that anxiety and depression without judgment and with
- 29:12curiosity and shame and without shame, Wow.
- 29:16Now I'm experiencing this, not I am depressed kind of thing.
- 29:21And then and where do I go in I listen deeply, what would my depression speak to?
- 29:26What do I know?
- 29:29Whatever is sourcing that would, you know, if we are aware and we make space for that
- 29:33awareness, it will often come or with the help of a professional or a coach.
- 29:38And so I think we always have to start right where we are.
- 29:42If we have a difficult relationship in our lives, we go very slowly and simply, and we
- 29:47start there.
- 29:48So what is one way this relationship, and I in it could be myself at best and differently
- 29:55than, I've been.
- 29:57And then I'm I am part of a changing dynamic, even though I'm not trying to change someone
- 30:02else.
- 30:03So I come as you can tell from a, a quite an empowerment kind of place.
- 30:08That, there's there's a lot that, pulses within us in terms of, the influence we have over our
- 30:17online but people can feel pretty downtrodden, feel pretty hopeless, feel pretty separate from
- 30:24others.
- 30:25And so, we don't know that.
- 30:28We have those capacities always for sure.
- 30:31So
- 30:33for people that would want to, you know, kinda look at, you know, what my intrinsic value is
- 30:39or I'm going through loss or I'm extratified about loss because, you know, of where we're at
- 30:45and we're talking about the first vaccine and the second one, and we're not gonna be
- 30:49completely fine, and we may never be fine So that that that that fear, you know, is real,
- 30:56you know, in a lot of people's brains.
- 30:58Yeah.
- 30:59Where could they pick up the book?
- 31:01Or even reach out to you to to be able to gain more information.
- 31:06Sure.
- 31:06Well, if they wanna sign copy, they can go to my website, which is harbor glowholistic.com.
- 31:13But the book, River to Ocean, live in the flow of wakefulness is also on Automotive.
- 31:18They wanna listen.
- 31:18I have a great narrator a wonderful woman named Leslie Howard, who narrated it and, the it's
- 31:25also on Amazon and Barnes And Noble.
- 31:28Some of the independent, sources.
- 31:30So there's different ways to get a hold of the book.
- 31:33And, I I wrote this book because for some people, they won't ever see a therapist.
- 31:39They can't afford a therapist.
- 31:42And it just there have been so many therapists in in spiritual teachers that help me, and I
- 31:46can be my children's therapist.
- 31:48I really wrote this book as a as a handbook.
- 31:52You're going through this see, you know, there there's hope.
- 31:55Basically, it feels like a book of hope.
- 31:58And, again, not a memoir, but my story is throughout.
- 32:01And I have had my own struggles, and I decided to be super transparent about that, because I
- 32:06think that's how we can offer that hand to someone else and and do their aloneness even
- 32:14though I may not meet them.
- 32:16My practice is super full, so I'm not necessarily taking a lot of new clients, but I
- 32:20do do retreats as well.
- 32:22So I've had people sometimes do wakefulness retreats or, couples retreats.
- 32:28I do a lot of couples work.
- 32:29So
- 32:30Awesome.
- 32:31I would love to hear from your listener.
- 32:33Awesome.
- 32:33Well, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.
- 32:37And for everybody, you know, what's one thing I'm, taking away you know, do not
- 32:43underestimate, the impact of movements and what it allows you to do, which is to get out of
- 32:49your conscious mind and get into your unconscious space.
- 32:55And every time you think, oh, I don't know what to do, to Catherine's point, just say, what are
- 33:03you trying to tell me?
- 33:04What are you trying to show me?
- 33:06And, you know, it that's a space that we all have within ourselves, and I always call it it
- 33:11that deep authentic voice, but we we need to quite the noise and of that of our digital
- 33:19spaces, which is robbing us of that peace of mind to be able to listen.
- 33:24So try even if you start just for 5 minutes to to slow your mind.
- 33:30It's like anything else.
- 33:31It's like, you know, you know, doing a a bicep curl.
- 33:35It gets easier each and every time, even though it might be painful at first, which we all know
- 33:40that slowing the mind and listening to the bodies is not not an easy thing.
- 33:45So, Catherine, thanks so much for your time again.
- 33:48And Thank you for having me.
- 33:50And all all the information about being able to connect with her will be in the show notes.
- 33:54And for myself, if you're looking for, guidance on authentic leadership, either at home or at
- 34:01work, you could reach me at roxannedurhodge.com.
- 34:05Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne creating the space for positive,
- 34:11healthy change.
- 34:12Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne visit
- 34:19Roxannederhaj.com/blueprint.
- 34:22We'll see you next time.
- 34:24An authentic living with Roxanne.