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#010 - Exposing HARMFUL Coping Habits 💪🧘 · Beyond Sovereignty

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Our mind and our brain is not what stores the
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emotions. The mind and the brain is what processes the emotions and
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then it flushes them out to another part of the body where they're stored for you to
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be able to express it at another time. Our emotions create
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acidity within the body. So freaking annoying and
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amazing thing as well. What I mean by it all is Let
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me give you these simple tips that will absolutely change your life.
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So first, one device-free day every week. We
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also want to make sure that you're having detoxing food on that day. And then the final
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thing is... Welcome wisdom keepers, soul
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tribe and new earth leaders to Soul Temple, your haven
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for self-discovery and growth. I'm Blythe Langford and
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I am your guide to finding yourself and your true, true,
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true, true, true purpose. Together, let's shift from
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feeling stuck and misaligned to living a life of purpose
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and prosperity. So today we
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are talking about healthier coping mechanisms for high achievers. Now,
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I want to set the scene here. Do you identify with
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self-sabotaging behaviors? Are you struggling with
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being noncommittal, overindulging, being
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absent or not present with your partner, loved ones, colleagues, or
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employees? Do you suppress a lot? Are
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you passive aggressive? Are you easily triggered when people
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are doing things that they shouldn't be? Are
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you abusive accidentally and then you apologise afterwards? Or
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are you so rigid that you don't even have space and time to actually
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tune in with yourself? These are
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common, common behaviours of
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high achievers. So I remember walking around the Bay
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Run with my mum in Sydney one day and I looked at her and I said, I
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think I'm having a heart attack. And
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I looked at her and she had really vacant eyes. And I was like, actually, I feel
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like this pressure most days. And
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I knew, being an intuitive, looking at her that she felt like this all
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the time. She was a high achiever as
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well. And I was like, oh, this woman can't help me. This is
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normal. And
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it wasn't that long after that that I got cancer. And
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this is why I'm doing all of this because I want to help you prevent it
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needing to get that bad. But the
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pressure of our modern worlds and having a business
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that we are obsessed with, that we put before our own health
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and well-being, Has us lead
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to things that are detrimental to our health? First
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of all, before it turns into anything, it is an
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emotional state. So this non-committal, can't
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commit to anything because too busy on my business, can't deal with any
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feelings there. Passive aggressive, like
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that's also the opposite side of that aggression, right?
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the toxic feminine or the toxic masculine wounding
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of the passive aggressive. And then we've got the easily triggered because
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we're not actually dealing with anything within us. So whenever
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anybody does anything and we've lost control of the situation, we will
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be triggered because it's not how we want it to be. Because we're
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control freaks. Yep, a lot of us high achievers, let's
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admit it, we're freaking control freaks. And it can be
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accidentally abusive as well. Like you could be saying
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to somebody you love, even when you're saying it, something
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that is actually polarizing of how you feel,
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but you're just, you can't even believe the words that are coming out of
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your mouth, but they're actually abusive to people that you love.
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Can you apologize straight away? Because you're like, oh my gosh, I cannot believe I
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actually just said that. These behaviours happen because we are not
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actually dealing with ourselves. Everything's fine and always amazing
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when we are in control of the whole situation, but take away our control of
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the situation. And holy moly, there's hell
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to pay, right? Maybe you're even better than that. And you're
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so rigid with how you have set up your life. So
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the rigidity, when people are obsessive compulsive, everything needs to be a certain way
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and done this way. They're all forms of controlling
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and anxious behaviors. Remember how I
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said in the previous episode that Inflammation
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causes infections. Infections cause disease and
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disease is literally the breakdown of the cells which is cancer,
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AIDS, all of the things you know that you don't want to get. It's
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these emotions and these behaviors that
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are actually driving toxicity within our
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body that creates the disease. So
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as a impactful leader, you want
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to make sure that you're intersecting what's going on
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within you and actually owning how you
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feel. And people will be like, oh my gosh, it's like so weak to feel your emotions,
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blah, blah, blah. It's like, yeah, that's why people live under a hundred years, because
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they're not dealing with their emotions. If they did and
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were able to process them and had healthy ways to process them,
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then we would live a lot longer because there wouldn't be the degeneration of the body. The
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body is just providing feedback to
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what is going on within you. Now, the reason
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that these behaviors are so important, especially
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as high achievers or entrepreneurs, leaders, business owners, lovers,
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partners, is because I know that so many of
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you are feeling spiritually broke. Like
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there's something in your heart that just doesn't feel right.
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Right? Like there's something missing. Or
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why isn't life how it's supposed to be? I've done all of the things, you
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know, like I've got the property that I want. I've got a
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beautiful family that I love, but something's missing inside.
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Yeah, I know. Cause I've been there too. And
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like 99.9% of the people, maybe a
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hundred that come and work with me feel the same way. And
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all of the entrepreneurs that I speak to as well, they're doing all of the things
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like living these amazing lives, yet their
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behaviors are not coinciding
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with somebody that loves themselves or feels fulfilled
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internally. That's something that I just invite
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you to have a look at within your life because how
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we do anything is how we do everything. Also, what
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is going on within you or how you are expressing
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yourselves subconsciously is
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the biofeedback for what's actually unprocessed in your body,
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mind and life. Now what
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can happen in a relationship if you are a woman
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or a man actually, one way it goes is the woman becomes the
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controller in the relationship. So she's in
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her toxic femininity and what that does is it emancipates
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the man completely. Happy wife, happy life. okay,
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yet goes out on the weekends and does all of these things to release
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some of the anger, get some of the control back that
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they're not able to express or have in their relationship because they
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are continually manipulated by their partner.
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And I see this so often with clients and friends and
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loved ones and it's so tricky, you know,
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to witness because they're like, yeah, my man's doing
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everything that I want, but it's still just like never enough, you know, and
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they're still constantly putting down their man and manipulating to do these things. because
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they think that they need to gain the control and the man thinks that he needs to bow down
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to the women. Then men get sick. A lot of people that are
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going through like having small kids and the women are at home doing their
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at-home businesses and then the men are the main breadwinner and they're getting
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sick as well and they're being emancipated and they're trying to do all of these things
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and they're like, it's just never enough. And it's about how
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they can have stronger boundaries so that they're no longer feeling emancipated and
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able to express their emotions in a healthy place, which
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is what we do on the retreats. Being able to not only purify
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all of the things that we spoke about in a previous episode, but
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also be able to process these emotions
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because there's never been a space that's been safe enough for
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anybody to express their honest and true emotions. There's
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never been time in a high achiever's life to
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be able to give themselves enough stillness to
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know what is going on because we live
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from our heads 99.9% of the time
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not realizing that our brains don't
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store any memory. Our brains just keep on processing, keep
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on processing, keep on processing, the adrenals are going, the adrenals are going, need 10 coffees
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a day, oh my gosh, yep, it's okay, I'm staying active, I'm staying alive, I'm doing all the things,
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yet the body is screaming out, I have got these
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emotions that I'm trying to process, if you don't let me process them.
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they're going to turn into inflammation, which turns into infection, which turns into
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disease, which is why a lot of people, especially entrepreneurs
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and leaders, get these little niggly health
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concerns as they go on because these behaviours are
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so present and they just keep on pretending they don't
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exist. Remember that these behaviours are
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beautiful. They are the keys to your longevity. They're
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the keys to gaining your life back. And they are the
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keys to getting to know yourself so well, so
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that when these behaviours do show up, it's like a
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younger part of you that rather than expressing and projecting all over somebody else
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that you absolutely love and adore, as soon as it comes up, you can actually learn
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to reparent yourself and nurture yourself. You become whole again.
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really know who we are and accept every part of ourselves. And I
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was actually speaking to one of my clients two days ago about this
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and their mum was in the hospital and they couldn't find anything that was
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wrong with her. You know, she's a highly successful woman. There was another family
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member there was like, oh my gosh, mum was saying that there was all of these traumatic
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flashes that she was having from her past that she wasn't dealing with. So
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whilst the hospital couldn't find anything that was wrong with her, her
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body is giving her this feedback because she's got this
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stored, trapped energy that wants to express but
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the brain is so scared to actually process it
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and so what we want to do with you is allow
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yourself to look after this undercurrent
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of bubbling away pots and pans so that they
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can come back to a place of tranquility and peace and
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they don't turn into dis-ease because disease is so
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easily cared for and nurtured prevented as
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well. So acidity is not just from the food we eat,
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our emotions create acidity within the body.
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Which is like so frickin annoying and
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an amazing thing as well because we are just in complete control
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of our being at all time and we are either poisoning ourselves or
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nourishing ourselves in every single moment. What
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I mean by it all is finding healthy places
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and spaces to be able to deal with your anger,
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to be able to express your anger, to allow it
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to flow through you. Or having a tool in
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the moment to see the anger starting to come up, and
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rather than being the anger, can see
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the anger. Whoa. And just have self-inquiry about,
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whoa, there's what's going on for me here. I'm feeling the heat and just
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breathing into it and just being like, okay, cool. Making it about you, not about
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the other person. They've triggered something that's in you that needs to be processed. That's
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why I'm so obsessed with everything that I do, like the breath work,
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the purification processes, the embodiment, the nature care.
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All of these are tools provided from nature to be able to
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neutralise and turn
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any acidity back into a natural and neutral state within the body
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so it doesn't turn into inflammation. We actually want to go to the
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root cause of where these things came from. And this is
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why NLP and these mindset tools
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never actually get there long term. but we need
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to remember that our mind and our brain is not
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what stores the emotions. The mind and the brain is
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what processes the emotions and then it flushes them out to another part
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of the body where they're stored for you to be able to express it at another time.
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Like let's say you are triggered by somebody and you are feeling super
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angry, right? But you push down that anger and
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you are passive aggressive instead so that you don't hurt the person. So
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in that moment you have split yourself and
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you have been this people
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pleaser and then at the same time you split your
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energy and push down that anger. So that anger
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will be somewhere because you haven't been 100% honest with your feeling, right?
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And then you can be like, well, Blythe, If I had been honest, I would
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have hurt them. If you'd become the
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anger, then you would have. But if you had gone through processes to
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be able to express your anger in a really great way and learn communication skills
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that are actually going to be supportive for conscious communication, then
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you don't have to be the anger, but you can share the experience that you're having
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with them. For example, that would look like, whoa, I
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am so triggered right now. And I just want to let you know that
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I'm really experiencing a lot of anger from what you just said. It's
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not your fault. I'm going through this and this is what I
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am processing. So I take full responsibility and accountability for that
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emotion because it's mine. They didn't physically hurt
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me. They said a word. we need to remember that
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we are in control of our feelings. And
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so once we've actually done some, like in my
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programs, we do somatic work, we do the breath work, we do nature work,
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we do purification process, we do so many things, conscious communication, that
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allow us to be able to recognize when something
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comes up and how we deal with it. And
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this is so vitally important for your spiritual evolution. It's
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also so vitally important for your relationships, the
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internal relationship with thyself and the relationships with
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your loved ones, so that you don't hurt or harm them with
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your words. And also for your team
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and your staff as well, because you don't want to be that
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jerk that like they say something to you in the wrong time of the day and because you
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haven't had your second coffee, you're feeling like crap and then you lose it
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at them, then you have to go and apologise later. Like, not cool,
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you know? Like, I've been there too when I was in my 20s.
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But also these behaviours are the keys along
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the pathway that will take us to our greater mission once
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we resolve them by doing the deep inquiry and
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the deep inner spiritual work. So I know it can feel
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extremely overwhelming. The personal development, oh my gosh, inner child work,
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shadow work, all of the things. But
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let me give you these five simple tips that will absolutely change
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your life if you just did these five things. So first,
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so important. Oh my gosh. It's so hard. I
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know. One device free day every week. Oh
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my gosh. This might be the start of me realizing that I have an addiction. have
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an addiction to my phone. Honestly, just getting away from
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that device, it's literally a device that is like attached to our third eye
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that is like manipulating us with frequency, hardening up
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our pineal gland. And that pineal gland is what gives us our intuition, our
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creativity, our flow state, and also helps
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to generate health within the body as well. We also want to make sure
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that you're having detoxing food on that day. Make sure you get greens in there as
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well. When I say greens, I mean leafy greens, not just you know, cucumbers
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and zucchinis and stuff like that, your leafy greens, your herbs. You've
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got your device, your detoxing food. Another
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one would be great. No alcohol. Yes.
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A day of no alcohol every single week, like 100% no alcohol.
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I'm having spiritual medicine. I'm like, that's a tincture with alcohol.
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And you're having 10 times the amount that you're supposed to have. That
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is still going into your systems and become really aware that maybe you've got some addiction
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there and that's cool because you're actually healing that on that
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day. No shopping. no
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shopping online, no shopping in the supermarket, because shopping
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going into those bright lights and Especially
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if you're in like a big shopping center. It's an environment that's created to
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manipulate you into purchasing. So it's literally the same as being on your phone. And then the final thing
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is like spend as much of your day in nature. And you can be like, Bligh,
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it's raining. Get a raincoat and some gumboots. I don't know. Like
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I go out rain, hail, or shine 365 days a year. Floods,
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fires, I don't care. I'm going. Been out with panthers and
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freaking pythons and pumas. I don't care what country I'm
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in. I'm going for a run. You know, yes, it's a little bit scary, but.
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We teach you how to deal with that at my program. Oh my god, that's so cool. I forgot
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about that. It's literally a thing. Yeah, sometimes it's a bit tricky. It's a bit cold.
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I'll give you a trick for when it's cold. Put your clothes in the dryer. They'll be really warm
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before you go. That's what I do every day in winter. I still have to push
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myself. Because it's not like I want to do that every day. Sometimes my little girl's
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going, wow, wow, wow, let's stay at home and like, just be like Sookie and eat all
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the food. It's like, okay, cool. Well, I can do that, but I'm going to go for a run first. It's
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my medicine. You know, like I've had a disability. I can't do yoga.
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I can't do all of those things. So you need to figure out what your nature medicine is and
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what makes you feel absolutely epic and amazing, you know? And I
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don't even care if it's like getting a beach
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umbrella, putting it out and then just sitting under your beach
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umbrella, reading a book or journaling. That's amazing. Go
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and do that, you know, but make sure it's a book that makes you feel good, not just some toxic
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romantic poobla, I don't know. So
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those five things will definitely make you feel better. Device-free day, detoxing
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food, no alcohol, no shopping and nature. That
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will literally reset your body, rewire
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your nervous system, rewire your brain, rewire
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your body for its immune system to come back online and
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it will also help to neutralise the toxicity that
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has been created by these behaviours that really
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are having you self-sabotage and are keeping you from your authentic
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self. And it will literally add quality years
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onto your life, like not an extra, like you won't feel
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like a little bit better, but if you did this every single week,
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then you are actually doing one of the purification processes that
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all of the ancients did. They had that one day to reset, rewire,
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and really allow nature to come in and
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heal their body. So please 100% give
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these a go because the non-committal, the overindulging, the
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absent, suppression, passive-aggressive, triggered easily, abusive, rigid
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behaviours, self-sabotaging, Literally this one
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practice every single week will change your life
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for the better. Your leadership skills and
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how you feel about yourself will 10x. You
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will no longer put yourself second to your business. Your
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life and your self-worth will be second
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to none because that's how you're going to really succeed in
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this world. That's how you're going to be the best person that you can be
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for your family, for your team, for your mission
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and for humanity. You came here to be the best version of
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yourself and to work with these emotions
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and these triggers and these behaviors and they are literally the medicine that
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you are here to alchemize in this lifetime.
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Thank you for joining me on Soul Temple. If
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this episode spoke to your soul, I would love, love, love your
19:56
support with a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. And
20:00
do not forget to subscribe on your favorite platform. But don't
20:03
let your journey end here. Connect with me and my like-minded community of
20:07
souls at Blythe Langford on all social platforms. I
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look forward, I really look forward to diving deeper with you