Latest / Blush / Are You Accidentally Unlikable? 3 Things to Watch For

Transcript

Are You Accidentally Unlikable? 3 Things to Watch For · Blush

0:00
Being likable matters. Unfortunately for me as someone
0:05
who's not very likable. It matters quite a bit.
0:08
It's a really big. Predictor of how happy you're
0:11
going to be, how successful you're going to be, how much
0:13
your life. Is going to.
0:14
Look like what? You want it to.
0:16
Look like. And there are things.
0:18
That we're all doing. Without.
0:20
Even realizing it that. Actually make us really not
0:23
likable so we're. Going to get into.
0:25
Those today. OK.
0:32
Listen, we all know about like, oh, talking too much.
0:36
We all know about. Complaining and if.
0:38
You don't know. You clearly have not.
0:39
Listened to other plush podcast episodes?
0:42
'Cause it's like literally all I talk about.
0:44
But there are other things that we're all.
0:46
Doing all the. Time that make us.
0:48
Really not likable. #1 is what I call.
0:53
Trojan bragging. So I think.
0:56
We all know about. Bragging right?
0:59
But what I'm talking about are ways that we're bragging.
1:03
Without explicitly and directly. Bragging, which is actually.
1:08
Far more annoying. And less likable than.
1:11
Just like really fucking directly bragging.
1:14
So let's get into some of the. Examples.
1:16
The. First one.
1:18
And this is the one that I see the most, and it's the one.
1:20
That I personally. Am the most guilty of.
1:23
Is. Like humble or like not even
1:28
humble bragging. It's like self deprecation or
1:33
bragging. That is cloaked.
1:36
In self deprecation. So really good.
1:38
Example of something I. Used to do kind of at the
1:41
height. Of my or like I would say the
1:43
early. Stages of my eating.
1:44
Disorder is. I would say things.
1:47
Like Oh my God, like my. Boobs are so small.
1:50
Like I'd like like kind of, it would seem like I was like
1:53
making fun of myself for having small boobs, but what I was
1:56
actually trying to convey. Is.
2:00
I'm so skinny. Like it was like a back door.
2:03
It was like a. Trojan like a Trojan horse.
2:06
Way of conveying like Oh my God I'm so skinny without saying it.
2:10
So I would. Just like like.
2:12
Make fun of myself. For these other.
2:14
Things that were. Linked to being skinny hold.
2:17
On I have a. Whole list of other.
2:19
Trojan bragging examples. 00 There we go.
2:31
There we go. OK.
2:33
Another one is only. Talking about things that.
2:36
Interest you? Now at first you might be like.
2:39
But how is that? Related to bragging, here's.
2:42
How when you only? Talk about things that.
2:45
You're really. Competent and confident in.
2:49
The reason that you're doing that, like, sure, maybe there's
2:52
an. Element of like selfishness or
2:54
just like? Being like, really serious and
2:56
like really. Passionate or whatever but.
2:59
Really, I think that the reason people do.
3:02
This is because they're. Trying to convey like, look, I'm
3:08
smart. I'm competent like I know
3:10
things. So they just stick to the
3:12
topics. That they feel.
3:13
That way on as a. Way of just.
3:15
Conveying that indirectly. This is something that I
3:18
actually wasn't. Really aware of but I have a
3:22
friend. Who does this right?
3:24
She. Only I'm not.
3:26
Even to say what this like she. Only talks about things that.
3:29
Interest her like. To the point.
3:31
Where? Like, literally.
3:32
People could be talking about something else and she'll just
3:34
like change the subject to. Something else?
3:36
It's like. All she'll talk.
3:37
About and it's so fucking annoying and I was.
3:40
Talking about it with a mutual friend once.
3:42
Who is a doctor? And that friend.
3:46
Was like, yeah, listen. Like no one likes.
3:49
This person, because she. Does this.
3:52
And she was like. But I will say.
3:54
As a doctor. I don't and she.
3:56
Was saying like everyone in our friend.
3:58
Group thinks that. She's like really selfish and
4:01
self-centered for doing this. But I actually don't think it.
4:04
Comes from a place of being. Selfish and self.
4:06
Centered, she was like. I actually think.
4:09
That she has. Undiagnosed autism and she.
4:13
Is like deeply, deeply, deeply. Insecure and.
4:17
This is what? My friend who's a doctor was
4:19
saying. Was that she basically?
4:22
This is like a. Common thing in.
4:23
Neurodivergence or in certain. Types of neurodivergence where
4:27
people will. Stick to topics.
4:29
That they are. Confident in.
4:31
So that they. Can almost like self aggrandize.
4:34
And be like look. Like like.
4:36
I'm not incompetent like I'm not stupid.
4:38
I'm not this, I'm not that, by the way.
4:39
I'm not in no way shape or form. Implying that neurodivergence
4:44
equals stupidity. I'm just saying like.
4:46
That insecurity. So that's what's.
4:50
Going on there. So that's why I wrote that down
4:52
as a form of. Quote UN quote Trojan bragging.
4:55
And by the way, if you don't know what I mean by Trojan
4:57
bragging, it's a reference to the Trojan horse.
5:00
And if you're not familiar with that, Google it because.
5:02
I'm not a history. Expert.
5:03
I mean I I like. I know the.
5:05
Situation, but I don't. Like I'm not going to be the one
5:09
who explains it to. You.
5:11
And then another one. Is.
5:15
Name dropping or place dropping Now this is like.
5:19
More direct bragging. Than it is like Trojan bragging
5:22
but it. Is it just, it is kind of
5:24
insidious. I think we all do it.
5:27
Without realizing. That we're doing it.
5:30
So just something to. Be like really aware.
5:33
Of it's like. Whose names am I bringing up and
5:36
like what? Places am I bringing up another
5:39
one is like. Like concern, bragging or?
5:44
Worry bragging or even complain bragging.
5:47
So this is like. A.
5:48
Way where you back? Door you're bragging in.
5:52
Through like a complaint. Or a worry or a concern.
5:55
Again in early. Days of eating.
5:57
Disorder stuff. Something I used to say it's
5:59
like Oh my God, it's like so hard to find clothes because
6:02
like. There's so much vanity sizing in
6:04
the US and I just. Like don't.
6:06
Fit into anything. My goal?
6:08
Wasn't to actually complain. That I can't find.
6:11
Clothes my actual. Goal was to convey.
6:13
Oh my God, look at me, I'm so skinny.
6:17
Another one that I see. All the time.
6:20
Literally all. The time is.
6:23
People being like. Oh my God, I just like forgot to
6:25
eat or like Oh my God, I've just like been so busy.
6:27
I just like didn't have time to eat or like, Oh my God, some tea
6:30
is like, I like, Oh my gosh, look at me, silly me, like.
6:33
Whoopsie, I just like forget to eat what you're trying to.
6:36
Convey. Is like I'm skinny.
6:37
That's literally what you're trying to convey.
6:40
But you're cloaking it in this like form of like.
6:42
Concern or. Worry or whatever, OK.
6:46
Another one I love. These background bragging OK.
6:53
So this is when there's something that's like.
6:56
Not the focal point. But it's like.
6:59
In the background and. It's like a.
7:04
Way of bragging. So sorry.
7:06
I'm like very. Distracted.
7:08
Sam's doing something. What do?
7:09
You do, she just. Ate.
7:11
Something. Sam, what did you eat?
7:14
She's at my feet. You can't see her.
7:17
She like, ate part of her bed or something.
7:19
I don't know what the fuck's going.
7:20
On. OK, so a version.
7:23
Of this that I've. Done in the past.
7:25
Is like tell a. Story.
7:27
And then in the. Story like I.
7:30
Mentioned something. Like to give.
7:33
Contacts that has nothing to do. With the story.
7:35
Like for example, like Oh my God, the other day when I walked
7:38
out the Chanel. Store like blah blah.
7:39
Blah blah blah happened. The fact that I was in a Chanel.
7:43
Store has literally nothing to do with the story.
7:46
It's just couched in there to. Be like look at.
7:49
Me. I pretend to be rich, I was
7:54
going to say. I'm rich.
7:55
I'm not. You know, shit like that.
8:00
You see what I'm saying? A.
8:02
Really good. Example of this is in 2020.
8:07
Or so when Amrada. Had her kid.
8:10
She posted. By the way, I actually love
8:13
Amrada. These days.
8:14
So I hate bringing this up, but it is a.
8:16
Really good. Example of background bragging.
8:19
By the way, all. Of these are like.
8:21
Terms I've made-up, I don't. As.
8:23
Far as I know, they're not like real terms.
8:25
That people use so don't like, for example.
8:28
Tomorrow, talk about like background bragging.
8:31
To someone expecting them. To know what it means, I mean,
8:33
maybe. People say this, I don't know.
8:35
But I'm just saying. Be aware of that.
8:38
OK, so she after she gave birth and like.
8:42
Really. Soon after.
8:44
She gave birth I. Mean like a.
8:46
Week or two or something after she gave birth she.
8:49
Posted a. Selfie of herself.
8:52
Where she looked like insane, like it's like inconceivable
8:58
that a person. Bounced back.
9:01
Like that, like inconceivable, like only she could do it.
9:04
Like she's like a fucking. Alien.
9:06
She's so hot. And when you?
9:09
Look at the photo. It begs the question.
9:11
Like I think. Everyone's first.
9:13
Reaction would have been no, that must have been taken.
9:18
Before she was pregnant or like the very very very beginning of
9:21
her first trimester or something.
9:24
But she captioned it. Excuse the dakat now if you're
9:29
not familiar, I am barely familiar.
9:31
A dakatat is like some kind of like, I don't like it looks like
9:35
a dog bed that you put your baby in for whatever reason.
9:39
I don't know, like everyone has them.
9:41
And in the. Photo like she.
9:44
Took a mirror. Selfie and her bed.
9:45
Is in the background and there's a bunch of shit on the bed,
9:49
including. A dock.
9:51
A Tot. But like, it's really.
9:52
Hard to see the. Dock a tot.
9:54
Like it's like. It's not like.
9:56
This big? Prominent thing like.
9:58
The dock a tot. And it really appeared.
10:02
As though now this. Wasn't my take there is this
10:04
influencer. If you're not familiar, you're
10:06
not. Skinny but not fat Fat Amanda
10:08
Hirsch. Like if you're not familiar, I
10:10
don't know what rock you're living under.
10:12
Like she like. Posts about pop culture and
10:14
stuff. She's like very big in that
10:16
space. And at the time.
10:17
She was like. Are you?
10:19
Fucking kidding me dude. Like it's like just.
10:22
Like. It's very.
10:23
Clear that that caption. Is meant to say.
10:26
No, this photo is. Taken postpartum.
10:30
I just look this hot postpartum, but she doesn't just directly
10:34
exactly say that, instead she does.
10:36
This like. Weird background thing.
10:39
To. Convey that sentiment without
10:41
directly saying that sentiment. And I do want to take.
10:45
This moment to say something. That I was waiting.
10:47
Until. The end to say, which is.
10:49
It's not even the. Bragging.
10:51
That's the issue. It's the fact.
10:52
They're not being direct. About the bragging, that's the
10:55
issue anyway. So let's look at.
11:00
More background bragging examples.
11:02
That I pulled out. Oh the know it alls.
11:05
Like the people? Who say like, well, actually
11:08
like blah blah. Like anytime someone says
11:10
something, it's like, oh. You just have to fuck it.
11:12
Just let. People be wrong, you know, like
11:15
it's, it's fine. Just let people be wrong.
11:17
You don't cut. I do this.
11:19
All the. Time I've such intense know it
11:22
all complex. Like I.
11:23
Constantly have to remind myself like.
11:26
You don't. You don't have.
11:26
To correct this, it's. Fine.
11:28
Let them be wrong. It's fine like.
11:30
'Cause it's not that I. Actually want to.
11:32
Correct. Like there are times where I
11:34
will correct something if I like.
11:36
Genuinely, I'm like, OK, no, this person needs to know.
11:38
But 99? Percent of the time.
11:41
My only. Intention is to convey.
11:43
Like, Oh my God. Look at me.
11:44
I'm smart. I know.
11:45
Things. It's unnecessary.
11:49
It's. So fucking annoying.
11:51
Oh OK, there's like 2 more that I wrote down.
11:55
And this is one that. Straight women in my.
11:59
Opinion are the most. Guilty of I should specify.
12:02
Straight, cisgendered women. Are the most guilty.
12:07
Of that I've. Seen and that's partner bragging
12:11
and that's. When you brag about.
12:14
Traits of the. Person that you're dating.
12:17
Or things that they. Do.
12:19
For you I do. This all the time.
12:24
Literally all the time. But the reason but OK.
12:28
I do think that. There's a difference.
12:30
Between just like really. Admiring the person that you're
12:33
with and like talking them up. Versus like?
12:37
Like, Oh my God. Like have you like, oh, his Dick
12:40
is so. Big or like or?
12:42
Like he does this for me, he bought this for me, he did that
12:44
for me. It's like a way of self.
12:46
Aggrandizing yourself through the person that you're.
12:49
With and then this. Last one is one that every
12:53
single. One of us does.
12:55
And that's busy bragging. Oh man, I'm so busy and this is
12:58
you. Know it goes right along with
13:00
the. Complaint bragging, but like
13:03
what you're really doing. Aside from.
13:06
Complaining and being annoying. Is also and I I do this all the.
13:10
Fucking time, OK? I'm calling myself out.
13:12
Of my shit like. So fucking hardcore.
13:15
But ultimately, you're just trying to say like, look at.
13:18
Me, I'm special, I'm important. I'm not a loser.
13:21
It's so fucking annoying. OK, so for all.
13:25
Of these like. Trojan bragging things.
13:28
There are two real reasons why it's annoying.
13:30
Number one, humility. Is actually a trait.
13:32
That consistently. Shows up as a really likable.
13:35
Trait and then number. Two, and obviously.
13:38
Bragging in any form. Whether it's, whether it's
13:41
direct or. Quote UN Quote Trojan bragging
13:44
is not humble, but number. Two, sincerity is also.
13:50
Always. Consistently ranked as a.
13:52
Really likable trait. And this is the ultimate reason
13:56
why I think. Trojan bragging is as.
13:58
Annoying as it is. It's because it's insincere.
14:01
You're not. Saying what you want to say,
14:03
you're just. Saying some bullshit in.
14:06
Order to try to fish for compliments and praise and.
14:09
Recognition and being seen and being adored and.
14:12
The thing is. No amount of Trojan.
14:15
Bragging is going to get. Those things for you?
14:18
So ultimately, truly the. Fix here.
14:20
Is like you've got. To go to fucking therapy
14:23
because. You're searching for something.
14:26
You're like you're searching for a type of external.
14:28
Validation. That's never going to.
14:29
Fill that hole. But there are.
14:32
Conscious things that we can do in the meantime to mitigate
14:37
this. And to.
14:38
Complement any like deeper. Work that we're doing.
14:41
In therapy and counseling. With you know and him know,
14:43
whatever, whatever. You may be doing the number one
14:47
and I would say like. The most important?
14:48
Thing is, every time. You want to like.
14:50
Say or do. Something just stop and ask
14:52
yourself. Why am I saying this?
14:54
Why am I doing? This is it for.
14:56
The direct explicit reason or am I?
14:59
Trying to convey something. Without saying that thing.
15:03
If it's the latter. Then just stop.
15:05
And don't do it it. Probably doesn't.
15:08
Fucking need to be said. #2 I'm going.
15:12
To go back to my notes. Oh, OK.
15:18
Shift your focus outward, ask people questions and.
15:22
Invest in getting to know them #3 just.
15:27
Brag to people explicitly when you want to brag about
15:31
something. But. 2.
15:32
Things that I think. Make it more palatable.
15:35
Number one, like try to limit your bragging to.
15:39
People that you know. Like you actually know really
15:42
well. Like I think parents are the
15:44
best people to brag to you like your.
15:45
Parents are going to want to hear.
15:46
About all of your accomplishments 24/7.
15:49
Like call them. Constantly and tell.
15:51
Them like your best. Friends, the people closest.
15:54
To you like. Share your wins and also the
15:58
other thing that I think makes. It so much more palatable is
16:01
cloak. It in.
16:02
Gratitude. Like truly like.
16:06
Oh my God, I'm so fucking grateful.
16:08
Like things are going really well for me.
16:11
This year, like I. I'm so grateful, like I'm the.
16:15
Busiest I've ever. Been I'm booked in.
16:17
Busy. Like holy shit.
16:18
Younger me would have. Killed for this like.
16:21
That's that's not unlike, but like, see how different that is
16:24
then? Like I don't even I even know
16:26
when I can have time to like go. Take a coffee break.
16:29
I'm so busy, OK? And then lastly and this might.
16:37
Be the most important thing. Give yourself praise.
16:40
Because no amount of getting. Praise from other people is
16:43
going to fill that void in your heart, but getting it from
16:46
yourself? Really.
16:46
Can. OK, now.
16:49
Now that we're done with the Trojan bragging.
16:51
Let's talk about the. Second thing that makes.
16:56
You. Really unlikable that I think
16:57
we're all doing and we don't even realize that we're.
17:00
Doing it and that's. Having a negative.
17:02
View of people. And this is something it.
17:05
Actually took a while for it to click.
17:07
For me, I really was thinking about.
17:10
One of my friends and. Like one of my friends I have
17:13
who's like truly? One of the least.
17:14
Likable people I've. Ever met?
17:16
You may be wondering why are you?
17:17
Friends with this person and the answer is I truly don't know.
17:22
I truly don't know. So she.
17:27
Well, I mean she has like redeeming.
17:28
Qualities, whatever you know, yada yada yada.
17:30
But she one of the things. That she does that's.
17:33
Like it's like it. Really took.
17:36
Me a long time. To click like this is.
17:38
Something she does that's. So unlikable.
17:40
Like I was just knew like. She's she's annoying.
17:43
Whatever. But I didn't realize like I
17:45
really. Had to think about like, OK.
17:47
What does she? Do that is so annoying and like.
17:51
What can we learn from it? And actually something I.
17:54
Heard from Vanessa Van Edwards, made it click.
17:56
For me, so if you're not. Familiar van as a fan, Edwards
17:59
is. I don't even know what her job
18:00
title is. Or anything or.
18:02
Like what her like? Credentials are but she does a
18:05
ton of. Research in likability.
18:07
Like, that's her thing. That's her.
18:09
Field and she. Researched popularity in
18:14
schools. And found.
18:15
That the most. Popular kids had the.
18:17
Longest list. Of people that they.
18:19
Liked. Which I thought was.
18:20
Really fascinating. And then?
18:22
I started to think about like people.
18:26
On campus, like at various stages of school who were like.
18:30
The. Class president, right?
18:32
Like. The guy like it.
18:33
Tended to be guys. You know, patriarchy, misogyny,
18:37
whatever who. Ended up becoming class.
18:40
President. None of them were Dicks like
18:43
actually, none of them were like the captain.
18:45
Of the football team, a lot of. Them weren't even like
18:48
particularly. Good looking or anything but one
18:50
thing they. All had in common.
18:52
Is they were really. Nice to.
18:54
Everyone. Like they just seem to like
18:57
everyone. This one guy in.
18:58
Particular I'm actually. Going to talk about.
19:00
Him by name, because like, whatever.
19:02
This guy. Ben that I went to law school.
19:04
With SO my first. Semester of law school I had
19:06
like no friends. I had like, wasn't cool at all.
19:08
Like I. I got really.
19:09
Sick, I actually. Got this like crazy.
19:12
Tooth infection like a. Really bad Abscess.
19:15
Tooth like. It actually like.
19:18
Deformed my face. It was so bad.
19:20
Like it like. Fucked with my.
19:22
Jawbone like it's. It's a whole thing.
19:25
Anyway, I was like. Like really like I don't want.
19:28
To be dramatic. But if I had addressed it just.
19:30
One day later, I may have died like it.
19:32
Was a. Really bad Abscess.
19:34
Like I had to do. Weeks and weeks and.
19:36
Weeks and weeks of like the. Most intense antibiotic?
19:41
Flagyl if you're familiar. With it, it's.
19:44
No fucking joke. And I can sit and.
19:46
You like, really like. You can't even.
19:48
Think about drinking on Flagyl. Like literally the prescription
19:51
is like if you. Look at alcohol.
19:53
You might die. Like it's, it's insane.
19:58
And I like kept. Having to go to the.
20:00
Dentist like every few days to like work on it more I mean.
20:03
It was like a. Really bad ass.
20:05
Like I remember at some point I was like, why can't you just
20:07
drain it? He's like because you'll.
20:08
Die like, that's why. It was really out of.
20:11
Control anyway. And like you know.
20:14
Whatever, I socially awkward like a lot of reasons why I
20:16
didn't really like get to know people my first semester of law
20:19
school. But this guy?
20:22
Ben, who actually was class, became class president.
20:26
I remember. He was just like always.
20:28
Really nice to me. Like really, really nice to me.
20:30
And I remember feeling like he doesn't have.
20:32
To be nice to me like I'm. Such a loser.
20:34
No one knows me. No one.
20:36
Gives a fuck about me. But he, like always wanted.
20:39
To like he just made everyone feel included.
20:43
And that's such a likable. Trait.
20:46
And I think that. Like going back to.
20:48
My annoying friend something. She does that.
20:53
Is. Part of the reason why she's so
20:55
annoying. Are you comfortable?
20:57
Mama, do you do you need to readjust?
20:59
OK. Why are you?
21:03
Laying like. That OK, Sorry about that.
21:08
She the way she. Talks about people is so vile.
21:14
It's so. Nasty.
21:15
Like she is like the. Most.
21:17
Negative stance on things. Like she always like like like
21:22
takes. Like the most like.
21:25
Pessimistic. View of humanity, of people.
21:29
Of I'll I'll give. You a good example.
21:32
I remember in the. Last Summer Olympics, the break
21:37
dancing. I actually.
21:39
Am like physically uncomfortable talking about this.
21:41
OK, I'm just like. You guys.
21:43
Remember the Australian break dancer girl from Ray Gun?
21:46
From the last Olympics and how? You know, it was like it was.
21:52
Fucking embarrassing. I'm sorry, but like that.
21:54
Performance is fucking. Embarrassing and.
21:57
It was like so. Sad like this poor girl.
22:01
Like she just like, would like she was like.
22:04
So excited and like. She wore her.
22:07
Like it like actually makes me. Cry sometimes how she wore her.
22:11
Like Australian trackies? And stuff and was just like so.
22:16
Excited to wrap Australia and she put the little.
22:18
Kangaroo move in there. And then her like like when she.
22:22
Talked about that afterwards. She was.
22:24
Like I know I wasn't. As technically good.
22:27
As a lot. Of the other people.
22:28
So I just like tried to. Be more creative with it blah
22:30
blah and it like. It wasn't good, OK.
22:33
Like it was. I mean it.
22:36
Like it was funny. Like she spent.
22:39
A significant. Amount of time on the.
22:41
Ground seemingly rolling around. You know.
22:46
But. And like, OK, we.
22:49
All had a little laugh. But then.
22:51
It like got to be really, really.
22:52
Sad like it. Actually genuinely became so sad
22:56
the way. Everyone was making fun of her.
22:59
And it would. Make me really really.
23:01
Sad as someone. Who's like been bullied?
23:03
And like, you know, was like. Constantly embarrassing myself.
23:07
I was like I. Don't like how we're all?
23:09
Making fun of this. Girl and my annoying.
23:12
Friend like would not stop and I like kept telling.
23:15
Her I was like. I actually like feel bad for
23:17
her. Like why?
23:18
Like I like say like stop, like just.
23:20
Stop making. Fun of her to me like I don't
23:22
want to hear it and I remember at some.
23:24
Point she's like no, well, she knows what she did.
23:27
I was like, what do you mean she you think she?
23:29
Intentionally embarrassed the shit.
23:31
Out of herself. On a public stage.
23:34
And it's like she just had all these, like, conspiracy theories
23:37
about, like what? I'm not even.
23:38
Going to get into it, I just think.
23:40
Like if that is your view of. Humanity, you're such a.
23:44
Fucking loser and like. You should stop like it's just
23:48
such a. Losery way to be.
23:50
And I actually. Think what lies.
23:52
Beneath it is like we. Grew.
23:55
Up in the 90s and 90s High school.
23:58
Movies just. Like have this portrayal.
24:00
Of like the cool kids being. Like kind of bullies and mean
24:04
and like. Whatever, but the reality is so
24:07
the opposite. Like the?
24:08
Cool. Kids are not.
24:10
Like that and like. Yeah, maybe when you were in
24:13
high school. There were like 1.
24:14
Or two. Popular kids that were.
24:15
Mean, but by and large, the vast majority of them were.
24:18
Actually, really, really. Nice and by.
24:21
Like being like mean and snarky. And like whatever, Like what?
24:25
Like I think what? We think we're doing is like
24:28
we're embodying that kind of. Like.
24:30
Too cool for school attitude what we're actually.
24:32
Doing is revealing. Like how?
24:34
How big of? Losers we are.
24:36
And like. We need to fucking.
24:38
Stop. Like we need.
24:39
To fucking stop like. There's nothing.
24:41
Anything. Cooler than kindness, truly.
24:45
OK. And that brings.
24:46
Me to the last trait that I wrote down as being highly
24:50
unlikable that we might not realize what we're.
24:52
Doing and I actually. Can't remember what.
24:54
It is. Hold on.
24:56
Hold tight please. That's being.
24:59
Too serious. OK, so.
25:03
This annoying friend of mine is. Certainly like that I.
25:05
Have access in fact. Van Guy I'll just be direct like
25:08
I literally broke up with. Van Guy, among other reasons.
25:11
Because he was like, too serious.
25:12
Like he couldn't. Just like.
25:13
Joke around and be. Silly.
25:15
And it was. Just like not fun to be around.
25:19
There's this other girl. I once met.
25:22
Through OR I met her a few times like through a friend.
25:26
And she used to. Always reply to my stories.
25:28
And like never. Get like the joke.
25:31
Or the sarcasm or whatever. Like it was just like she would
25:34
do like take things so literally and seriously.
25:37
And I was like, girl, I'm making a fucking.
25:40
Joke. Relax like.
25:43
It's not like she'd be offended. She just like wouldn't.
25:45
Pick up on it. And it was.
25:48
Just like so like. No one.
25:50
Wants to be around. Really stuffy people.
25:53
All the time and like it's. Great to be like.
25:56
Passionate about something and like.
25:58
Be serious about your work or whatever.
26:02
But if you're not able to turn it.
26:04
Off at times people aren't going to.
26:06
Want to be around you? Like that, That's just.
26:09
It So what I. Would recommend for this.
26:12
Honestly. Is to really embody.
26:14
More play in your life like. Find ways to tap.
26:17
Into that inner. Childlike sense of.
26:20
Play and like regain your sense of.
26:23
Awe and just. Connect with what?
26:25
Really matters because. Like you can sit there and talk
26:29
about your job all day long and everyone's going to know that
26:32
you're like a really competent, amazing, smart.
26:35
Person, but no one. 'S going to.
26:36
Like you and like what? Are you really?
26:39
Achieving there like this. Friend that I'm.
26:41
Talking about. Like she's really.
26:42
Smart, I don't think. Anyone doubts that but like.
26:45
No one wants to be around her. Because like, she's.
26:48
Not fun. Like no one wants to be around.
26:51
Someone who's not fun, in fact. Most people don't even want to.
26:55
Work. Around people who aren't.
26:57
Fun, let alone. Choose to be around.
27:00
Them in their time. Off of work.
27:03
Anyway, if you want. More elaboration.
27:05
On any of these subjects, let me know.
27:07
Like I'm happy to research things I don't think.
27:09
I'm like a natural. Expert on like ability.
27:12
I don't think I'm a particularly likeable person.
27:16
But like. I try.
27:17
I. You know.
27:18
I fucking try. And that's what I'm.
27:20
Doing here aside from. The part.
27:23
Of my nail is. Broken.
27:24
And it's kind of driving me crazy.
27:26
So that's what you're witnessing over here.
27:28
Anyway, check out Thursday. 'S blush.
27:31
Kitchen. It's the last in our our.
27:35
Series The Meal. Prep series so go check those
27:39
out. I made a bunch of fucking.
27:40
Bowls and they're amazing and I think.
27:42
You're going to fucking love them, K?
27:44
We'll chat next. Week love ya.
27:46
Bye.