Latest / Daily Influence / 804. Leading Change Through Conversation: The Power of Nemawashi
Transcript
- 0:10[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Daily Influence, your daily dose of positive influence.
- 0:14[SPEAKER_00]: I'm Brian Smith founder of IA Business Advisors and co-author of the Iain team series.
- 0:19[SPEAKER_00]: Each day we share stories and insights to help you find be and build your influence in a positive and responsible way.
- 0:27[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm Greg Clino, partner at IA Business Advisors, and co-host of Daily Influence.
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- 1:12[SPEAKER_01]: And now let's move into today's conversation where we'll continue exploring the ideas, actions, and influence that helps us lead and live with greater influence.
- 1:23[SPEAKER_01]: What if the most effective way to lead is not to make a dramatic announcement?
- 1:28[SPEAKER_01]: But to build understanding one conversation at a time, today's guest is Adam Brous, professor, author, entrepreneur, and founder of Elton University.
- 1:41[SPEAKER_01]: a nonprofit university built around personalized one on one education.
- 1:46[SPEAKER_01]: Adam is also the author of Leading Change at Work, which explores Nemoashi, a Japanese approach to change leadership that he describes as peacemail consensus.
- 2:00[SPEAKER_01]: Developing an idea and earning support through individual
- 2:08[SPEAKER_01]: Today we'll examine what Neville Ashley can teach us about responsible influence, organizational change, and creating environments where people are genuinely involved, not simply expected to comply.
- 2:20[SPEAKER_01]: Adam, welcome to Daily Influence.
- 2:22[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you so much, Craig.
- 2:24[SPEAKER_02]: I'm excited to be here.
- 2:26[SPEAKER_01]: and your career has brought together education, entrepreneurship, organizational change, and leadership.
- 2:32[SPEAKER_01]: What experiences led you to question traditional approaches to both higher education and workplace decision making and how did those experiences shape the way the work you are doing today?
- 2:45[SPEAKER_02]: That is a good question.
- 2:48[SPEAKER_02]: And I think the main thing for me is what would be
- 2:54[SPEAKER_02]: So, whenever when I tried to solve a problem I first really think what are the first principles underneath, far, far underneath what we're doing.
- 3:04[SPEAKER_02]: So when I was put in charge of running a new college program, I started a college before Elton University, so Elton's not my first rodeo in terms of new colleges.
- 3:17[SPEAKER_02]: But the first college that I was I was I was a founding dean of and I was
- 3:22[SPEAKER_02]: very difficult environment.
- 3:23[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it was very challenging.
- 3:25[SPEAKER_02]: The students were kind of running up the walls and the faculty were all going in different directions.
- 3:29[SPEAKER_02]: And there really wasn't hadn't been much leadership before I got there.
- 3:32[SPEAKER_02]: And I really stopped and took a pause and said like what really fundamentally do I have to do to succeed in this environment.
- 3:42[SPEAKER_02]: And I was already enamored with the agile.
- 3:47[SPEAKER_02]: management system, lean management system, and I was like, where did this come from?
- 3:52[SPEAKER_02]: Where did agile and lean come from?
- 3:54[SPEAKER_02]: And it turns out that it came from Toyota, the Toyota production system, the TPS.
- 4:00[SPEAKER_02]: And so I went and read there's a few books about the TPS that were written in the 80s and 90s right right at the time that it was being generated and and inside those books there was this one principle that has really been just ignored it as as the West adopted lean and agile and that was Nimoashi and
- 4:21[SPEAKER_02]: I just felt like it was a really a missing link, like almost like we had taken the the blue prints for like an engine from the Japanese, but we had, but they had said, well, make sure to put this oil in and we were like, nah, nah, nah, nah, we don't need that oil.
- 4:35[SPEAKER_02]: We'll just run the engine with no oil.
- 4:37[SPEAKER_02]: You know,
- 4:38[SPEAKER_02]: And then the engine kept seizing up.
- 4:40[SPEAKER_02]: Like, why is this engine so hot and always seizing up?
- 4:43[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, yeah, it's because the oil, they were trying to get us to put the oil in.
- 4:46[SPEAKER_02]: So I really, I really, when I encountered Neymolashi, this idea of piecemeal consensus, I was like, this, this, I'm gonna try this.
- 4:52[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna try using this and what I found is that it just, it just smoothed out all the rough edges of agile and of, you know, moving quickly,
- 5:02[SPEAKER_02]: through an innovative process with a team and building that consensus.
- 5:06[SPEAKER_02]: So by the time people were making a change, there wasn't half the room disagreeing or fighting with it or a few stragglers saying, trying to, that we don't want to do this, everyone was on board by the time a decision was made.
- 5:18[SPEAKER_02]: And it just made it so that we could move really, really fast.
- 5:21[SPEAKER_02]: We could kind of realize the vision of agile, truly realize that vision, not just sort of try to realize that vision.
- 5:31[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'll bet because that's not an easy feat to accomplish.
- 5:35[SPEAKER_01]: You describe Namuashi as peace bill consensus, building support through individual conversations before presenting a change for formal approval.
- 5:46[SPEAKER_01]: Walk us through how that process works and explain how a leader can distinguish genuine consensus building from quietly pressuring people to support a predetermined decision.
- 5:59[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, good point.
- 5:59[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 6:00[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 6:00[SPEAKER_02]: So I mean, Neemawashi can be done by anyone.
- 6:03[SPEAKER_02]: So you know, a lot of times when we talk about leadership about change, we're thinking like top down, like somebody at the top has some thing they want to do with it, they're trying to give you a corral, everybody into it.
- 6:13[SPEAKER_02]: Neemawashi, you really shouldn't think about it that way.
- 6:16[SPEAKER_02]: You should think about it more kind of coming from everyone.
- 6:19[SPEAKER_02]: and so anyone in the system who wants to drive some kind of change can start having conversations with people and start building up a consensus around that idea.
- 6:28[SPEAKER_02]: So you might say, you know, you might just be like a
- 6:31[SPEAKER_02]: level whatever like far from the CEO person who wants to change the way their team does whatever move the coffee pot or change how you get clients or change some software whatever it is.
- 6:42[SPEAKER_02]: And the strategy is not to go the the traditional sort of way that people think they need to get changes they need to get they need to get someone above them to allow them get permission.
- 6:52[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, this leads to what I call permission paralysis.
- 6:55[SPEAKER_02]: This is
- 6:56[SPEAKER_02]: endemic in most organizations for admission paralysis.
- 6:59[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I can't do anything because the boss won't let me.
- 7:02[SPEAKER_02]: You want she takes the different approach, which is you don't go out talk to your boss.
- 7:05[SPEAKER_02]: You don't go try to get an authority to give you permission.
- 7:08[SPEAKER_02]: You actually go talk to other people at your level.
- 7:12[SPEAKER_02]: And you say, you know, what do you think about, like, how we're doing sales right now?
- 7:16[SPEAKER_02]: Do you think maybe is there problems with that?
- 7:18[SPEAKER_02]: Like, is there anything we could fix?
- 7:19[SPEAKER_02]: And then they sort of tell you they're on a opinion.
- 7:23[SPEAKER_02]: And you kind of say, well, what have we did this?
- 7:25[SPEAKER_02]: And they say, yeah, no, but then there'd be this problem.
- 7:28[SPEAKER_02]: And you together, just two of you, generate a consensus, a mini consensus between the two of you.
- 7:34[SPEAKER_02]: And then you go said, you say, hey, can I bring up some of these ideas to some other people I'm talking to a few other people about this this yeah sure sure you go talk to another person just at your level you know you're not going up asking for permission and you start you do that to five or ten people.
- 7:48[SPEAKER_02]: And you start to build this consensus and a solution that really works for everybody because you because everybody's put in their two cents and now that becomes something that you can can start filtering through the organization not not directly you don't want to say okay now we've developed this thing we go straight to my boss and ask permission that screws it up again instead you want to go kind of like to your friend or you know so when you know who's maybe higher up in the organization but who's not your direct boss.
- 8:17[SPEAKER_02]: And you don't go to them like you're going around the head of your boss, you just go to them because you're trying to get their feedback and understand whether this solution would work from their perspective.
- 8:27[SPEAKER_02]: And they start to you build a consensus with them and now they start to operate on their level building a consensus and it basically sweeps the company through like a wave rather than being this kind of, you know, message up to the top and then broadcast from the top down to everybody else.
- 8:45[SPEAKER_01]: that is a very interesting concept, and I can definitely see how that can work.
- 8:48[SPEAKER_01]: Can you share a specific situation in which using Nemoafi changed the outcome of an initiative or changed how people involved were felt about the decision?
- 9:02[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I could use a case that I'd used it in, but maybe I'll use a case where they actually used it in Toyota.
- 9:08[SPEAKER_02]: So when they originally Toyota was only making normal everyday cars.
- 9:13[SPEAKER_02]: They were making cars for the every man, and they weren't making any luxury cars.
- 9:17[SPEAKER_02]: Well, cars that had really fine engines and brand really smoothly, like Mercedes and BMW.
- 9:23[SPEAKER_02]: But someone in Toyota was like, we need to make, we should compete with Mercedes and BMW.
- 9:28[SPEAKER_02]: We should like have a luxury automobile.
- 9:31[SPEAKER_02]: And they pose this to people and everyone just kind of laughed at them and said, there's no way the machines that we use to make the engines don't have the tolerances necessary to make engines of that quality.
- 9:43[SPEAKER_02]: We would have to completely change everything it would never work.
- 9:46[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
- 9:46[SPEAKER_02]: So what the guy did is he went around to a few people and said, hey, come work with me on this project just with some of your extra time, we're going to hand make
- 9:57[SPEAKER_02]: a luxury Toyota engine like a high quality Toyota engine and that's what they did.
- 10:02[SPEAKER_02]: A couple of guys came, couple engineers came with him and they just hand made one of these engines and going through the process of hand making an engine to these tolerances, they figured out how they could make a Toyota style luxury engine and that became Lexus.
- 10:19[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
- 10:19[SPEAKER_02]: So he didn't go and say, Hey, big boss man, give us the R&D funds to create a team to solve all these problems.
- 10:26[SPEAKER_02]: He just kind of grabbed a few guys and hey, what do you think?
- 10:29[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what if we did that?
- 10:30[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know, what about that?
- 10:31[SPEAKER_02]: And oh, let's figure it out.
- 10:32[SPEAKER_02]: Let's just grind out an engine ourselves and see.
- 10:35[SPEAKER_02]: And then that by doing that, he convinced those people their bosses all heard about what was going on.
- 10:40[SPEAKER_02]: They came down and looked at the engine they were making, had conversations about it, and everyone was convinced, wow, we can actually do this.
- 10:47[SPEAKER_02]: We could make a car that competes with a BMW, and that became Lexus.
- 10:52[SPEAKER_01]: What a great story.
- 10:53[SPEAKER_01]: Things are sharing that, and the successes can demonstrate that potential of a method, but failed or difficult change efforts often reveal where leadership discipline is most important.
- 11:04[SPEAKER_01]: Can you tell us about a change effort that did not go as planned?
- 11:08[SPEAKER_01]: Where did communication, timing, trust, or your own assumptions break down and what responsibility did you have to take for the outcome?
- 11:18[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think what's interesting is when I, I can't think of a time when I used Nemo Washi that it didn't go well and that doesn't mean that it didn't go the way I wanted actually that one of the cool things about Nemo washi is it's sort of egoless.
- 11:32[SPEAKER_02]: Because it's not about what you want.
- 11:35[SPEAKER_02]: You become a bit of a vessel for what the snowballing consensus becomes.
- 11:41[SPEAKER_02]: So you might initially be like, well, I think the solution is going to be this.
- 11:44[SPEAKER_02]: But usually writing your first conversation, that gets like smashed.
- 11:47[SPEAKER_02]: Like, that's not what it's going to be.
- 11:49[SPEAKER_02]: Because you just have one mind, you don't know all the things.
- 11:52[SPEAKER_02]: And so as you talk to people, you actually develop more and more of this consensus.
- 11:56[SPEAKER_02]: And it gets out of your
- 11:58[SPEAKER_02]: egoic hands.
- 11:59[SPEAKER_02]: You start to feel like we all input it on this.
- 12:02[SPEAKER_02]: You might be proud that you guided it forward, but at the end of the day it's going to be everyone, you know, working together.
- 12:09[SPEAKER_02]: And so when I've done Nemoashi really religiously, when I really done Nemoashi, I can't think of a time when it didn't go well, like it didn't go all the way through and work.
- 12:18[SPEAKER_02]: I think the times when
- 12:28[SPEAKER_02]: There's a consensus brewing, and then they tamp it down.
- 12:32[SPEAKER_02]: They say, no, we're definitely not going that direction.
- 12:34[SPEAKER_02]: And that I think has created more of a problem than the actual process of Nimoashi itself.
- 12:44[SPEAKER_02]: Also, I think one problem is that,
- 12:46[SPEAKER_02]: You know, leaders are especially like founders or people who have, you know, they've gotten training to be like executives.
- 12:54[SPEAKER_02]: They, they've been taught that they have to sort of control people and sort of caral people and sort of lead maybe with the sort of charismatic leadership.
- 13:02[SPEAKER_02]: They haven't been taught that they needed to go to Nimoashi.
- 13:05[SPEAKER_02]: this sort of non-a-goic legislative process.
- 13:09[SPEAKER_02]: They don't, and so for them, it's very, it's very at alien to them to do that, unless they have a sort of instinct to do it on their own, which is rare.
- 13:19[SPEAKER_02]: So I think, I think the problems where I've seen
- 13:22[SPEAKER_02]: leadership breakdown and change management breakdown is actually just the failure to use Nemoashi.
- 13:27[SPEAKER_02]: It's the main tax that I've seen failure.
- 13:30[SPEAKER_02]: When you use Nemoashi, it's hard to fail because you know, 60 people or 30 people, however many people are on your team.
- 13:37[SPEAKER_02]: If everyone is talked to, that's the full genius of the whole company.
- 13:42[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, that's, that's everyone's brain being used.
- 13:49[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, that's that if there's anyone who can figure it out, it's that whole group together.
- 13:52[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what Nemoashi does is it unlocks the genius of a whole group of people.
- 13:56[SPEAKER_01]: That's great.
- 13:57[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
- 13:57[SPEAKER_02]: That's a great non-answer.
- 13:59[SPEAKER_02]: That was a little of a non-answer.
- 14:00[SPEAKER_02]: If you use Nemoashi, it'll work perfectly.
- 14:04[SPEAKER_01]: Let's love pivot to our university.
- 14:07[SPEAKER_01]: You know, that's a non-profit university that you've built around personalized one-on-one education.
- 14:12[SPEAKER_01]: Can you tell us more about that?
- 14:14[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, this is a really cool school.
- 14:19[SPEAKER_02]: It really takes like, it's like if you, so many schools are so old.
- 14:23[SPEAKER_02]: It's traditional schools, they're 100 years old, they're 50 years old, they're 300 years old.
- 14:27[SPEAKER_02]: And, you know, they're curriculums, they're professors, they're leading professors, they're all, they've all done these things for decades.
- 14:33[SPEAKER_02]: There's really not any new ones, very few new school new universities.
- 14:37[SPEAKER_02]: My research when I did my masters was about new universities and why they're so few of them and how to make new ones.
- 14:44[SPEAKER_02]: And so then I after starting one then I decided to be to start another which is Elton.
- 14:49[SPEAKER_02]: And the big goal with Elton is to use the most cutting edge evidence-based research around how people best learn and how teachers best teach.
- 15:00[SPEAKER_02]: and there's been a lot of discoveries, especially since the year 2000, there's been a lot of data driven discoveries that have been absolutely not put to use in higher education.
- 15:10[SPEAKER_02]: They've been put to use to some small extent in primary and secondary school, but almost none in higher education.
- 15:17[SPEAKER_02]: And so Elton is that sort of response is like, hey, we're going to build an evidence-based educational university from the ground up from first principles up.
- 15:25[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and that's what we're doing and we're already off to the races, you know, we have a five students in our PhD program.
- 15:31[SPEAKER_02]: We have a number of students who are about to we've had six or six students already in our MBA program and we're expecting another group to start here in the next few months.
- 15:40[SPEAKER_02]: So it's it's moving fast now, which is very exciting.
- 15:44[SPEAKER_01]: That is very exciting.
- 15:45[SPEAKER_01]: Can you give us an example of how that works?
- 15:48[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, sure.
- 15:49[SPEAKER_02]: So I'll give you an example from the MBA, because we've been talking about Neemolashi, which is part of kind of might be taught in the MBA.
- 15:56[SPEAKER_02]: So a student who joins a traditional MBA program, there's been some curriculum designed in the last,
- 16:03[SPEAKER_02]: year to 30 years about what a business person like ought to know, and it's all a very kind of FYI stuff.
- 16:11[SPEAKER_02]: And a lot of usually it's like case studies and maybe read a book or two and you know, you talk and smooth with your other classmates and you talk to your professors, whatever.
- 16:20[SPEAKER_02]: But it's all very set in stone.
- 16:22[SPEAKER_02]: It's like that curriculum.
- 16:23[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe you get a few electives so you can kind of personalize a little bit.
- 16:26[SPEAKER_02]: But those electives are three months long and you don't get to choose what you actually
- 16:34[SPEAKER_02]: the opposite of that.
- 16:35[SPEAKER_02]: Elton, when you start, your first conversation is with an advisor who wants you to succeed.
- 16:45[SPEAKER_02]: however you are planning to whatever your build most success is.
- 16:50[SPEAKER_02]: So they say, what do you want to learn?
- 16:52[SPEAKER_02]: What are your goals?
- 16:53[SPEAKER_02]: And if you say, boy, I'm in ESG finance and I want to start my own ESG consulting company.
- 17:03[SPEAKER_02]: Whatever, I'm just making something up.
- 17:04[SPEAKER_02]: Then that becomes the curriculum of your MBA.
- 17:09[SPEAKER_02]: The advisor says great, okay, in order to do that, these are things that you could do.
- 17:13[SPEAKER_02]: These are people that we could have you meet with.
- 17:15[SPEAKER_02]: These are the professors I advise you to meet with.
- 17:17[SPEAKER_02]: And then those professors say, what about this?
- 17:20[SPEAKER_02]: Do you want to learn about?
- 17:21[SPEAKER_02]: You know, what about environmental impact investing you want to learn about.
- 17:24[SPEAKER_02]: I'm an expert in that.
- 17:26[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I really think this this in this.
- 17:28[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
- 17:28[SPEAKER_02]: Great.
- 17:29[SPEAKER_02]: You should read these books.
- 17:30[SPEAKER_02]: You should talk to these three people that I know and right.
- 17:32[SPEAKER_02]: So everything comes back to what your goals are in a business.
- 17:37[SPEAKER_02]: Instead of just giving you a sort of wrote curriculum that's been designed, you know, 30 years ago by some some got in our gal.
- 17:44[SPEAKER_01]: sounds like a real-life education versus textbook education.
- 17:49[SPEAKER_02]: That's right.
- 17:49[SPEAKER_02]: It is a, we are breaking what's called the factory model of education.
- 17:55[SPEAKER_02]: So instead of a, you know, you've set up the whole, you know, most schools that you're like a factory, they've set up all the, the the machines, like what's it called?
- 18:05[SPEAKER_02]: and industrial line, right?
- 18:07[SPEAKER_02]: And then things go through and get manipulated all the way through the factory.
- 18:11[SPEAKER_02]: This is, no, no, this is the opposite.
- 18:13[SPEAKER_02]: This is an order comes in the door and then we look at that order and pull all the resources in to construct whatever that order is.
- 18:21[SPEAKER_02]: So everything is totally bespoke, totally tied to that student and their success.
- 18:26[SPEAKER_01]: That is a really cool concept.
- 18:28[SPEAKER_01]: You'll have to keep us updated on the progress of it.
- 18:32[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
- 18:32[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 18:33[SPEAKER_02]: And we are accepting students.
- 18:35[SPEAKER_02]: So if you've ever thought you wanted an MBA or a PhD or a master's come and talk with us at Elton, we are excited to have more students.
- 18:44[SPEAKER_01]: Awesome, you know, Adam, you spent much of your career redesigning systems and challenging assumptions about how people learn and how organizations change.
- 18:55[SPEAKER_01]: I'd like to close by looking at the perspective that experience has given you.
- 18:59[SPEAKER_01]: If you could go back to your younger self before you began challenging establish systems, what would you tell him about patients influence and bringing people with you?
- 19:10[SPEAKER_02]: I would tell my younger self one one thing in particular, which is that degrees and credentials matter and what you do early on in your career matters a lot.
- 19:23[SPEAKER_02]: And I think when I was young, maybe I felt like, oh, I kind of believed the sort of national myth that we live in a sort of meritocracy and sort of, you know, if you are kind of good and kind of achieve things, then you'll sort of succeed.
- 19:37[SPEAKER_02]: And I think the reality is we actually live in a signalocracy.
- 19:41[SPEAKER_02]: not a meritocracy.
- 19:42[SPEAKER_02]: So it's not actually what you are.
- 19:44[SPEAKER_02]: It's what you can signal that you are is given power in our society.
- 19:49[SPEAKER_02]: So I think if I could go back to my younger self, I didn't get a master's degree until I was almost 40, I just finished my, or I'm about to finish my PhD, I'm 42 or 41 years old.
- 20:01[SPEAKER_02]: I would have told my younger self, get an MBA right away.
- 20:04[SPEAKER_02]: And also go immediately and get a job at Google or whatever this was, you know, 15 years ago go to the job at the leading companies of the time as best you can that highest possible company you can and just work there a year and then quit.
- 20:17[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't matter.
- 20:18[SPEAKER_02]: Then go do whatever you want because if you have those terminal degrees, you know MBA master's PhD and you have.
- 20:27[SPEAKER_02]: A resume item at one of the top companies, then pretty much people will just trust you.
- 20:32[SPEAKER_02]: You have this sort of signal accuracy ability to then go do other things in your career.
- 20:36[SPEAKER_02]: And you'll always be kind of at the top of your your your potential.
- 20:40[SPEAKER_02]: But I did the other way.
- 20:41[SPEAKER_02]: I kind of grinded up my whole 20s and 30s like doing interesting things and interesting projects.
- 20:46[SPEAKER_02]: But always kind of operating at the lowest level that society would give me resources, because there wasn't that trust, because I didn't establish those signals.
- 20:55[SPEAKER_02]: And actually now that I've established some of those signals being the directors of various companies and selling a company and getting a PhD, getting these master's degrees.
- 21:04[SPEAKER_02]: Now people are much more interested, much more willing to kind of give me trust, give me you know opportunities.
- 21:09[SPEAKER_02]: So that's what that's the advice that I give to my younger self.
- 21:14[SPEAKER_01]: That is good advice.
- 21:15[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for sharing that.
- 21:16[SPEAKER_01]: That sounds like the trajectory that I follow to getting the degrees early and then finding a company that has a big logo and working for them.
- 21:25[SPEAKER_01]: It's worked out well, but it sounds like for you, you know, you've built your credibility through some of the school of hard knocks and growing a business and selling a business.
- 21:35[SPEAKER_01]: So it worked out well for you too, Adam.
- 21:37[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it did.
- 21:38[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I think, you know, a lot of luck takes a lot of luck and a lot of privilege and a lot of hard work, but it takes all three.
- 21:45[SPEAKER_01]: Sure, you know, what is one intentional conversation you would encourage every listener to initiate this week to create positive change in their workplace or community?
- 21:56[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I guess my mind goes always back with with with intentional conversations, maybe to to partners to your partner.
- 22:03[SPEAKER_02]: and just making sure you're on, you're sharing your feelings with your partner.
- 22:07[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like this may be maybe this is a more of a man thing, but probably some women struggle with this too.
- 22:13[SPEAKER_02]: Just really, I think it's really important for people to share how they're feeling with their partner.
- 22:18[SPEAKER_02]: Even if those feelings are kind of scary or maybe make you feel kind of weak or wimpy or
- 22:23[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, you know, if you go and say, Hey, I really feel sad because of this doesn't have to be like fixed this.
- 22:29[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't have to be fixed me.
- 22:30[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't mean I'm broken.
- 22:31[SPEAKER_02]: It's just sharing that you feel sad about a movie.
- 22:36[SPEAKER_02]: Why it doesn't have to even be a deep thing, but just sharing that you feel sad you feel happy.
- 22:40[SPEAKER_02]: You feel scared.
- 22:42[SPEAKER_02]: You've something disgusted you about something that happened in the news or doesn't matter, but sharing your feelings and and using that emotionally centered language.
- 22:51[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, I really feel this way because of this.
- 22:54[SPEAKER_02]: So you're not blaming anyone.
- 22:55[SPEAKER_02]: You're not, you know, you're not making anybody feel bad or the bad guy.
- 22:59[SPEAKER_02]: You're just sort of sharing your feelings.
- 23:01[SPEAKER_02]: And then hope, you know, having and then being open as your customer, your customer, your partner also shares their feelings.
- 23:08[SPEAKER_02]: I think doing that and connecting on the level of emotions can have this incredibly transformative effect can drive.
- 23:16[SPEAKER_02]: friends closer together can drive, you know, romantic life partners closer together.
- 23:21[SPEAKER_02]: And it's just a fantastic thing and it's it's scary because you don't want to seem like a whim, but actually you can be really actually a power move in a way like it can be a really strong way to improve your life and improve your relationships and so yeah people go ahead and tell people about your feelings.
- 23:39[SPEAKER_01]: That is excellent advice.
- 23:41[SPEAKER_01]: We see that with our clients all the time when the business partnerships, once they start opening up with each other and truly telling them how they feel about a situation, whatever it may be, fill in the blank, but the business partnership and personal relationship really gets stronger.
- 24:01[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you're right.
- 24:01[SPEAKER_02]: No, I can't be done in business as well, too.
- 24:04[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, telling people that your anxious about some project
- 24:09[SPEAKER_02]: You know, that's good, that that makes that means you're a human being, you know, if something was risky and kind of, you know, sort of a risky thing and someone was like, I'm not anxious at all.
- 24:19[SPEAKER_02]: I feel great about it.
- 24:19[SPEAKER_02]: I feel super confident about it.
- 24:21[SPEAKER_02]: That would actually freak out everybody in the room.
- 24:24[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
- 24:24[SPEAKER_02]: So you don't, you know, it's actually important to kind of, you know, to tell people, you know, hey, I'm actually a little worried about this because this is a risky thing.
- 24:33[SPEAKER_02]: But I think we have everything in place.
- 24:34[SPEAKER_02]: I think we're ready.
- 24:35[SPEAKER_02]: I think it was repair to prepare it as we can be.
- 24:37[SPEAKER_02]: but I actually am nervous about this.
- 24:39[SPEAKER_02]: That puts everybody at ease because now you're just like them.
- 24:42[SPEAKER_02]: You're a person who assesses risk and feels risks, you know.
- 24:47[SPEAKER_02]: So it's just as an example.
- 24:48[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think you're right.
- 24:49[SPEAKER_02]: It can be quite useful in business as well.
- 24:51[SPEAKER_02]: But especially get out there with your partner and share your feelings because that really drives, you know.
- 24:58[SPEAKER_02]: the the intimacy and the and the love there.
- 25:01[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
- 25:01[SPEAKER_01]: Well, Adam, I'm so grateful you're able to join us today.
- 25:04[SPEAKER_01]: If our listeners want to get in touch with you, what is the best way to do so?
- 25:07[SPEAKER_02]: Adam Browse at Elton.University, or you can go to Elton.University is our website, you know, we don't.
- 25:14[SPEAKER_02]: And you can also find me at solutions from the multiverse, which is my podcast.
- 25:19[SPEAKER_02]: Solutions from the multiverse everywhere podcasts are displayed.
- 25:23[SPEAKER_02]: And.
- 25:25[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you can email me or contact me through Elton, that'd be great.
- 25:30[SPEAKER_01]: We'll put that information in the show notes.
- 25:31[SPEAKER_01]: Adam, thank you so much for joining us today.
- 25:34[SPEAKER_02]: And sharing your stories and questions were amazing.
- 25:37[SPEAKER_02]: Deep.
- 25:39[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
- 25:39[SPEAKER_01]: We're there and back.
- 25:40[SPEAKER_01]: Great.
- 25:41[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
- 25:42[SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate that.
- 25:43[SPEAKER_01]: In to everyone listening, you're action today is simple.
- 25:46[SPEAKER_01]: Identify one change you want to make and have one thoughtful conversation before you begin advocating for it.
- 25:53[SPEAKER_01]: Ask a question, listen without defending your position.
- 25:57[SPEAKER_01]: and allow what you learn to influence your next step.
- 26:00[SPEAKER_01]: That's how we can become more positive, responsible, and intentional with the influence we each carry.
- 26:06[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Daily Influence.
- 26:10[SPEAKER_01]: Help us spread the positivity by subscribing and sharing daily influence with those in your area of influence.
- 26:17[SPEAKER_01]: Remember, small actions create big impact, keep showing up, leading and growing one day to time.
- 26:23[SPEAKER_01]: Until next time, stay inspired and keep having a positive, responsible influence.
- 26:29[SPEAKER_01]: Bye bye!