Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Ice Machine Madness

Transcript

Phone Tap: Ice Machine Madness · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Does anyone like taxes?
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Taxes? I like the things they pay for, you know,
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: like it's nice to have a good bridge or a road.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: The taxes. It's the most frustrating thing when you look
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: at your weekly paycheck and you see, wait, a bunch
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: of money was taken out by taxes.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Doesn't even know what you're paying for.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: No idea. So we thought, okay, what if we took
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: even more out of a guy's paycheck by hitting him
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: with a work fine. That's so ridiculous. There's no way
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: it could be real. And you're going to hear it
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: in your phone. Tap right now.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: Jeffrey's phone taps on the twenties. Hello, Hi, Ronnie.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: Uh, yes, who is this?
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: This is Claire LaGrue calling from corporate Human Resources.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: Uh? Okay, Hi Claire.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: How are you today? Ronnie?
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: Oh, you know, it's been a pretty solid day.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's enough, that's all I need.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sorry, do I know you?
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: We haven't met. I'm on the other coast.
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: That's why my voice might sound far off.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Is that an echo? Echo? Echo? Just a little coast
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: to coast humor?
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: Ronnie? Yes, I'm sorry. What's what's the reason for the call?
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: Oh right, I'm calling to let you know that we
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: have to dock your check for this upcoming pay period
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: by one hundred and fifty dollars.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: Wait what?
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: Why are you guys docking my pay one hundred and
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: fifty dollars? Can you help me understand that?
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Oh? Absolutely, I can see.
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: We recently installed security cameras in the break room. So
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: what so we notice you fill a giant Stanley cup
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: with ice at least five times a day.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: You guys are charging me for ice?
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: No, that would be ridiculous, in patty, we're not monsters.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: So okay, but help me understand what the hell is
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: one hundred and fifty dollars for that?
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Oh it's for the ice compressor burnout.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: Wait that you can't put that on me. That's not
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: my fault.
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: The machine broke earlier today, and according to our records,
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: your over usage played a large part in that.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: No. No, no, yes, yes.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: So you will be paying the technician fee.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: The hell I will. You guys are blaming me for
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: breaking the ice machine. I didn't break it, I just
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: used it.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: We're not blaming you.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: Yes you are. You're completely blaming me. What are you
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: talking about? No?
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: No, no.
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: See, we're assigning responsibility to you resility. That is something
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: we wish our employees would do on their own. Well,
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: sometimes I have to step in, like now.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: That is not fair. One hundred and fifty bucks is
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: a company of ice.
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: Machine, Ronnie, may I remind you the machine was designed
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: for reasonable communal cooling, not for somebody who seems like
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: they're running a commercial snow cone.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: Stand what is that supposed to me?
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: What it means is we are willing to take it
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: out of your paycheck in installments if that helps.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: No, that's no way the language.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: Okay, but since it's your first offense, I think this
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: is gonna make you happy, I'm going to wave the
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: additional fifty dollars ice misuse processing fee.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: Oh how gracious of you to have misused to wave
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: the misuse of ice.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: FeAs you are welcome.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: I was being sarcastic.
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: Okay, Well, regardless, I still want to say thank you.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: I appreciate you.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: I don't appreciate you at all. What is this?
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: It's give and take here.
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: This is how relationships work, and we are always willing
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: to develop them at our company.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: You are charging me for is not how relationships work right.
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: In relationships, it is about saying you're sorry when you
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: mess up. So that's why I'm asking you to also
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: write an apology letter by hand.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: Are you out of your mind?
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: No, it's a lot more meaningful than just an email.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: And then we can post it in the break room
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: so all your coworkers know who's responsible for.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: The last time. It's not just me that uses it,
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: it's everyone.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, especially your friend Keith.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: Huh.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: He loves going to the ice machine with you getting
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: a little sip of water.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: If anybody uses it more than me, it's Keith.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, you're just gonna throw him under the bus like that. Huh.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: Yes, you're trying to charge me one hundred and fifty dollars.
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: Why don't we just charge Keith one hundred and fifty
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: dollars for this prank phone call?
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: I mean, you may as well charge him one hundred
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: and fifty dollars.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's a it's a prank phone call. I'm
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: just gonna say that part again.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Wait, is this a joke?
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, this is actually bribe from the radio show Brook
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: and Jeffrey in the Morning. We're doing a phone to
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: up on you and your buddy Keith set you up.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, are you kidding me? Yes?
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: He said, you just got this giant Stanley Cup and
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: all you do is fill it up with ice all
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: day long.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: I mean he's not lying. It is big.
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, every man says that matters.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: Broken Jeffrey's phone taps on the twenties