Latest / The Daily Reset Podcast / DAY 2: You’d audit your business. Why won’t you audit your life?

Transcript

DAY 2: You’d audit your business. Why won’t you audit your life? · The Daily Reset Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: hi everyone it's laurel and welcome to day two yesterday we named the cost of drift
0:06
SPEAKER_00: the tolerance trap the autopilot effect how not
0:10
SPEAKER_00: that bad quietly becomes your ceiling
0:12
SPEAKER_00: if you haven't watched the launch session and day one yet the replays are waiting
0:16
SPEAKER_00: for you but you don't need them to get value from today because today we turn
0:21
SPEAKER_00: the camera around yesterday was about what drift costs you today is about you not
0:26
SPEAKER_00: the you on paper the cv the roles the responsibilities the you underneath
0:31
SPEAKER_00: that how you're actually built how you're wired to move
0:35
SPEAKER_00: and why so much of the advice you followed over
0:37
SPEAKER_00: the years good advice sensible advice advice that genuinely worked
0:42
SPEAKER_00: for someone never quite fit look at the subtitle on this slide because it's
0:46
SPEAKER_00: the whole session in one line why so much advice never fit you
0:50
SPEAKER_00: and how you're actually built to move here's where we're going first we get
0:54
SPEAKER_00: a structured honest view of
0:56
SPEAKER_00: where you are right now your flow score your archetype your four pillars
1:00
SPEAKER_00: then we look at how you're wired to move using your design
1:04
SPEAKER_00: and then we look at what's actually been keeping you stuck
1:07
SPEAKER_00: the two fears underneath your number and the one small shift that starts
1:12
SPEAKER_00: to change it live on purpose not on autopilot let's go read this slide with me
1:18
SPEAKER_00: because everything today hangs off it diagnosis precedes recalibration you can't
1:23
SPEAKER_00: recalibrate a life you don't yet understand i always say it's like a business review
1:28
SPEAKER_00: before you'd make any strategic change in
1:30
SPEAKER_00: a business any restructure any new direction you'd look at
1:34
SPEAKER_00: the data first you'd never redesign a company based on a vague feeling
1:38
SPEAKER_00: that things were a bit off you'd audit it you'd find out exactly where
1:42
SPEAKER_00: the value is leaking your life deserves
1:44
SPEAKER_00: the same discipline we audit our businesses every quarter
1:48
SPEAKER_00: and never audit our lives we measure revenue pipeline performance and
1:53
SPEAKER_00: then run our own well-being on guesswork and gut feel
1:56
SPEAKER_00: most people skip this step they feel the drift and they jump straight
1:59
SPEAKER_00: to change new habit new plan new program and it doesn't hold not
2:04
SPEAKER_00: because they lack willpower but because they were treating the wrong thing they lack
2:08
SPEAKER_00: to diagnosis not ambition so today before we change anything we look quick bridge
2:14
SPEAKER_00: from day one because these two sessions are one thought yesterday the tolerance trap
2:20
SPEAKER_00: the autopilot effect how you don't rise to your goals you fall to your standards
2:26
SPEAKER_00: and whatever you're willing to tolerate becomes your life that was
2:29
SPEAKER_00: the outside view what drift does today's question is different it isn't what should
2:34
SPEAKER_00: i change that question keeps you spinning because there are
2:38
SPEAKER_00: a hundred possible answers and no way to choose between them today's question is
2:42
SPEAKER_00: who am i built to be and why has so much advice never fit me because i bet money
2:48
SPEAKER_00: that you've tried you've read the books you've done the morning routines
2:52
SPEAKER_00: you followed advice that genuinely worked for the person who gave it and some
2:56
SPEAKER_00: of it stuck for a fortnight and then quietly fell away and you blamed yourself hold
3:00
SPEAKER_00: that thought we'll come back to it first where are you right now this is
3:06
SPEAKER_00: where we start the balance reset it's a short diagnostic a couple
3:10
SPEAKER_00: of minutes multiple choice that looks at the four pillars
3:12
SPEAKER_00: of your life mind body relationships and purpose
3:16
SPEAKER_00: at the end you get a structured view of where you are across all four
3:20
SPEAKER_00: where your life is aligned where it isn't and where it needs attention first
3:24
SPEAKER_00: the link is on the screen balance ai reset if you haven't taken it
3:30
SPEAKER_00: yet do it today honestly if you can do it now while we're together open the link
3:35
SPEAKER_00: on your phone start it and let it run alongside the session
3:38
SPEAKER_00: because everything we do this week builds on your result tomorrow's session the day
3:42
SPEAKER_00: after they all assume you have your score and your archetype in front of you
3:46
SPEAKER_00: When you finish the reset you get a number between 0 and 100 your flow score
3:51
SPEAKER_00: and I want to be really careful about how you hear this number because most
3:54
SPEAKER_00: of us have spent decades being graded and the instinct is to see any score as
3:59
SPEAKER_00: a verdict it isn't your flow score is a floor not a grade it's built
4:03
SPEAKER_00: from your four pillars and your consistency of action
4:07
SPEAKER_00: and here's the part one love
4:08
SPEAKER_00: about how we've designed it your reset score becomes your floor it never drops
4:13
SPEAKER_00: below it it only climbs from here as you take action think about what
4:17
SPEAKER_00: that means every graded system you've ever been in could take the number away
4:21
SPEAKER_00: the performance review the exam the metric that reset
4:24
SPEAKER_00: to zero every quarter this doesn't work like that the score exists to show you where
4:29
SPEAKER_00: to begin and then it exists to show you moving so if your number comes back lower
4:33
SPEAKER_00: than you'd like nothing has gone wrong
4:36
SPEAKER_00: that number isn't who you are it's where you're starting from and knowing
4:40
SPEAKER_00: where you're starting from is the single most powerful piece
4:42
SPEAKER_00: of information you can have because you can only grow from where you are not from
4:46
SPEAKER_00: where you wish you were this isn't a verdict it's
4:49
SPEAKER_00: a starting point alongside your score you get an archetype there are five
4:53
SPEAKER_00: and they map to the five stages of
4:55
SPEAKER_00: the balance method drift reset design systems alignment
5:00
SPEAKER_00: and before i walk you through them the most important sentence on this slide this is
5:04
SPEAKER_00: where you are on the journey not who you are forever it's designed to move
5:08
SPEAKER_00: as your score climbs your archetype climbs with it the explorer 0 to 29 is in drift
5:15
SPEAKER_00: if this is you you're restless curious dissatisfied something in you has recognized
5:20
SPEAKER_00: that something needs to change even if you couldn't yet say what
5:23
SPEAKER_00: and i want you to hear this clearly because explorers are often the hardest
5:27
SPEAKER_00: on themselves this stage matters this is the stage of awareness
5:31
SPEAKER_00: and awareness always comes
5:33
SPEAKER_00: before intention you cannot skip it most people never reach it they stay comfortable
5:38
SPEAKER_00: enough distracted enough busy enough that
5:41
SPEAKER_00: the recognition never lands yours has landed that's not failure that's the beginning
5:47
SPEAKER_00: the seeker 30 to 44 is at reset
5:50
SPEAKER_00: you've started asking deeper questions what actually matters is
5:54
SPEAKER_00: the life i'm building aligned with who i want to become am i moving forward
5:58
SPEAKER_00: or just staying busy this is a stage of reflection
6:01
SPEAKER_00: and i won't pretend it's comfortable it can feel deeply uncertain but it's powerful
6:06
SPEAKER_00: because the moment you begin questioning your direction you gain the ability
6:10
SPEAKER_00: to redesign it the clarifier 45 to 59 is at design
6:15
SPEAKER_00: clarifiers have begun deciding what truly matters you've started identifying your
6:19
SPEAKER_00: values your priorities your deeper motivations and instead of reacting
6:24
SPEAKER_00: to life you're beginning to direct it that clarity changes everything
6:28
SPEAKER_00: when you know what matters decision making becomes dramatically easier every choice
6:33
SPEAKER_00: stops being a 50 50 coin toss and starts being
6:36
SPEAKER_00: a simple question does this serve what i've decided matters the builder 60 to 74 is
6:41
SPEAKER_00: at systems
6:43
SPEAKER_00: you're turning clarity into action you're shaping your life intentionally
6:48
SPEAKER_00: through habits boundaries priorities systems instead of drifting you're building and
6:53
SPEAKER_00: the process becomes visible other people start noticing the architects 75 to 100 is
6:59
SPEAKER_00: at alignment architects are designing life deliberately daily action reflecting
7:05
SPEAKER_00: on deeper priorities
7:06
SPEAKER_00: protecting energy investing
7:08
SPEAKER_00: in relationships pursuing meaningful goals making intentional decisions
7:12
SPEAKER_00: when life is no longer reactive it becomes designed now wherever you land
7:17
SPEAKER_00: on this many deeply capable intelligent people are stuck between stages
7:21
SPEAKER_00: and it is not because you lack ambition it's because you've lacked
7:25
SPEAKER_00: a diagnosis that's the whole reason the reset exists
7:29
SPEAKER_00: underneath your score and your archetype sit the four pillars and this is where
7:33
SPEAKER_00: the reset gets genuinely useful because a single number can't tell you where to act
7:38
SPEAKER_00: the pillars can look at the example on screen because this is
7:41
SPEAKER_00: a real pattern I see constantly mind 90 body 90 this woman is sharp disciplined
7:48
SPEAKER_00: exercises eats well reads performs
7:51
SPEAKER_00: from the outside she's thriving she's the person other people describe
7:55
SPEAKER_00: as sorted purpose 63 moderate work pays well and looks right but the why has gone
8:01
SPEAKER_00: a bit quiet she couldn't tell you
8:03
SPEAKER_00: the last time it lit her up relationships 35 needs attention
8:08
SPEAKER_00: and there it is you can have two pillars at 90 and still feel
8:12
SPEAKER_00: that something is fundamentally off because life isn't lived
8:15
SPEAKER_00: in your strongest pillar
8:17
SPEAKER_00: the strong pillars are usually strong precisely because that's where all
8:20
SPEAKER_00: the energy has been going the whole picture matters
8:24
SPEAKER_00: the reset will show you your version of this where your life is aligned
8:27
SPEAKER_00: where it isn't and where it needs attention first because once you can see
8:31
SPEAKER_00: the pattern you can change it here's the reframe that changes how you use
8:35
SPEAKER_00: that information your lowest pillar isn't your failure it's your ripple point
8:40
SPEAKER_00: the four pillars aren't separate they're one system strengthen the weakest one
8:45
SPEAKER_00: and it lifts the other three
8:46
SPEAKER_00: let it keep leaking and it quietly drags
8:49
SPEAKER_00: the other three down no matter how hard you work on them that's why we don't try
8:53
SPEAKER_00: to fix everything at once fixing everything
8:56
SPEAKER_00: at once is how every january plan dies you overhaul the whole life run on willpower
9:02
SPEAKER_00: for three weeks and collapse back to baseline we don't do overhauls here we start
9:07
SPEAKER_00: where the ripple is biggest one pillar the lowest one that's your leverage point
9:11
SPEAKER_00: and it's usually the one you've been avoiding
9:14
SPEAKER_00: for reasons we'll get to before the end of this session
9:17
SPEAKER_00: the reset also surfaces something subtler than a score your dominant pattern
9:22
SPEAKER_00: the loop running quietly underneath your days every pattern has
9:25
SPEAKER_00: the same three-part structure a focus where your energy goes a meaning
9:30
SPEAKER_00: the story you tell yourself about it and an action what you actually do as
9:34
SPEAKER_00: a result take the example on screen the disconnected pattern and it belongs to
9:39
SPEAKER_00: the woman we just met with relationships at 35
9:42
SPEAKER_00: her focus work and individual tasks
9:45
SPEAKER_00: the meaning she's assigned relationships will wait the action that follows isolation
9:50
SPEAKER_00: or surface level connection and watch what happens next
9:53
SPEAKER_00: because this is how one weak pillar leaks into the others
9:57
SPEAKER_00: the isolation feeds turning further inward turning inward feeds taking less care
10:02
SPEAKER_00: of herself that feeds overworking which loops straight back to the focus
10:06
SPEAKER_00: that started it round and round quietly for years the loop isn't a character flaw
10:12
SPEAKER_00: it's just a pattern running on repeat unexamined and a pattern you can see is
10:18
SPEAKER_00: a pattern you can interrupt let's pause which is your weakest pillar right now and
10:23
SPEAKER_00: where is it quietly leaking into the others don't rush this don't answer with
10:27
SPEAKER_00: the pillar you think you should see answer with the one
10:31
SPEAKER_00: that made your stomach tighten slightly when i read
10:33
SPEAKER_00: the list whatever came up write it down we're coming back to it at the end now back
10:39
SPEAKER_00: to the thought i asked you to hold at the start
10:41
SPEAKER_00: all that good advice that never quite stuck here's why one you overcorrect in
10:47
SPEAKER_00: the wrong area without a diagnosis you act on the pillar that's easiest to see
10:52
SPEAKER_00: or most socially rewarded another fitness plan another productivity system while
10:57
SPEAKER_00: the pillar that's actually leaking sits untouched
11:00
SPEAKER_00: effort in the wrong place feels like progress
11:02
SPEAKER_00: and change is nothing two you chase motivation instead
11:06
SPEAKER_00: of structure motivation is weather it comes it goes and it's usually gone
11:11
SPEAKER_00: by thursday structure is climate everything we build this week is structure three
11:17
SPEAKER_00: you mistake busyness for progress and this one is cultural not personal
11:22
SPEAKER_00: there is enormous pressure on us to stay busy keep moving do more be constantly
11:26
SPEAKER_00: on whole systems are built on it and social media tells us daily
11:30
SPEAKER_00: that we should be doing all of it at once but busy is not the same
11:34
SPEAKER_00: as forward you can be in motion for a decade and not move an inch towards a life
11:39
SPEAKER_00: that fits and underneath all three the deeper reason
11:42
SPEAKER_00: the one almost nobody names most advice was built for someone else's wiring
11:47
SPEAKER_00: the 5am routine worked for the person who wrote the book
11:51
SPEAKER_00: the hustle worked for the person selling
11:53
SPEAKER_00: the course it wasn't wrong it was theirs read this slide slowly it's not
11:57
SPEAKER_00: that you're not trying hard enough it's
11:59
SPEAKER_00: that you've been following someone else's map i said something adjacent
12:03
SPEAKER_00: to this yesterday about comparison how crippling it is when we look
12:07
SPEAKER_00: at other people's maps we lose sight of our own we lose where we actually are
12:11
SPEAKER_00: and what we actually need to do so we're done with other people's maps let's look
12:15
SPEAKER_00: at yours
12:16
SPEAKER_00: this is where your design comes in and i want to frame it precisely because this is
12:20
SPEAKER_00: where people either dismiss it or over claim it and both miss
12:23
SPEAKER_00: the point we use human design
12:26
SPEAKER_00: as operating style not destiny not purpose your design tells you how not what what
12:33
SPEAKER_00: your life is for is yours to design that's later this week and no chart gets
12:37
SPEAKER_00: to decide it for you what your design tells you is how you're built to get there
12:41
SPEAKER_00: where you naturally flow and where you've been forcing
12:44
SPEAKER_00: think of it as the difference between the destination and the vehicle you choose
12:48
SPEAKER_00: the destination your design just tells you what kind of engine you're driving
12:52
SPEAKER_00: so you stop revving it like it's a different one and that word forcing is
12:56
SPEAKER_00: the one I want you to hold for the next 10 minutes
12:59
SPEAKER_00: because most stuck isn't laziness most stuck is forcing here's why this matters
13:04
SPEAKER_00: so much in one picture two women identical flow score both stuck
13:09
SPEAKER_00: in drift same starting point same number same archetype
13:14
SPEAKER_00: any generic program would hand them the same plan the first is a generator a builder
13:19
SPEAKER_00: as it's sometimes called she climbs out of drift by responding to a genuine hell yes
13:24
SPEAKER_00: and dropping the hell nose forcing herself to initiate from
13:28
SPEAKER_00: a blank page just drains her i know this one from the inside because it's my design
13:33
SPEAKER_00: when i'm working on something
13:34
SPEAKER_00: that genuinely lights me up it fills me up i have more energy at the end of the day
13:38
SPEAKER_00: than the start and when i'm pushing through a project i know isn't filling me up
13:43
SPEAKER_00: the drain is total not tiredness depletion my design didn't tell me what
13:48
SPEAKER_00: to build it told me why some work made me feel unstoppable
13:52
SPEAKER_00: and other work objectively similar flattened me the second woman is
13:56
SPEAKER_00: a projector her way out is the opposite she climbs out by stopping the hustle
14:00
SPEAKER_00: and waiting for the right invitation when she pushes she only creates resistance
14:05
SPEAKER_00: when she stops chasing
14:07
SPEAKER_00: and lets herself be recognised things start happening now imagine these two women
14:11
SPEAKER_00: swap prescriptions the generator sits and waits and stagnates
14:16
SPEAKER_00: the projector hustles harder
14:17
SPEAKER_00: and burns out both following genuinely good advice both getting worse same starting
14:22
SPEAKER_00: point opposite medicine the difference is design at
14:26
SPEAKER_00: the very highest level there are four ways of moving your design report
14:30
SPEAKER_00: the one you get when you work with me tells you which is yours plus all
14:34
SPEAKER_00: the nuance underneath
14:36
SPEAKER_00: but here's the map generators builders move by responding
14:40
SPEAKER_00: to what lights them up they force when they initiate from the head pushing
14:44
SPEAKER_00: into things because they should with no genuine response behind it manifestors move
14:48
SPEAKER_00: by informing then initiating they're the rare ones actually built to start
14:53
SPEAKER_00: from nothing they force when they wait
14:55
SPEAKER_00: for permission they don't need projectors move by recognition
14:59
SPEAKER_00: and invitation their gift is seeing systems and people clearly they force
15:04
SPEAKER_00: when they chase and hustle
15:06
SPEAKER_00: reflectors move in the right environment given time they force when they rush
15:10
SPEAKER_00: the decision find yours then stop forcing the others
15:14
SPEAKER_00: because here's what i suspect is true for a lot of you
15:16
SPEAKER_00: the drain you've been feeling isn't your life being wrong it's your method being
15:20
SPEAKER_00: wrong you've been running someone else's operating style on your machine
15:23
SPEAKER_00: and wondering why it keeps overheating this is very high level your report goes much
15:28
SPEAKER_00: deeper and it's exactly the kind of thing we work through properly together
15:32
SPEAKER_00: but even at this altitude one insight lands for almost everyone you now have
15:37
SPEAKER_00: a clearer picture of your best move and your worst one three questions same rule as
15:42
SPEAKER_00: before first honest answer not the polished one what advice have you been following
15:46
SPEAKER_00: that doesn't actually fit you where are you forcing rather
15:49
SPEAKER_00: than flowing what strengths have you been overlooking because they came too easily
15:53
SPEAKER_00: to count that third one deserves a word we're trained to value what's hard
15:58
SPEAKER_00: so the things you do effortlessly the thing everyone comes to you
16:01
SPEAKER_00: for you've probably filed under doesn't count it counts it's usually
16:06
SPEAKER_00: the biggest clue to your design that you own one more layer and then we act because
16:11
SPEAKER_00: a diagnosis and a design still leave one question
16:14
SPEAKER_00: if you can now see all this why haven't you moved already two fears they quietly
16:19
SPEAKER_00: trap intelligent capable people and they work as a pair the fear of change keeps you
16:24
SPEAKER_00: in discomfort change feels risky
16:27
SPEAKER_00: you've built a career a reputation a family a lifestyle and something
16:31
SPEAKER_00: in you whispers that touching any of it might bring the whole thing down
16:34
SPEAKER_00: so you negotiate with yourself it's not
16:37
SPEAKER_00: that bad other people have it worse this is just adulthood the fear of staying
16:42
SPEAKER_00: the same keeps you restless because another part of you knows it surfaces at 3am or
16:47
SPEAKER_00: on the sunday night drive or in the flat feeling after another fine week so instead
16:52
SPEAKER_00: of choosing we hover we tolerate
16:55
SPEAKER_00: we drift somewhere between dissatisfaction and disruption and living
16:59
SPEAKER_00: between those two fears is exhausting i know it from my own life not from a textbook
17:03
SPEAKER_00: and here's the cruelest part
17:05
SPEAKER_00: the autopilot effect keeps both fears invisible you don't experience them
17:09
SPEAKER_00: as fears you experience them as being realistic that's why awareness has
17:14
SPEAKER_00: to come first you cannot interrupt a fear you haven't named
17:18
SPEAKER_00: so how do you get out not by thinking harder you don't think your way out
17:21
SPEAKER_00: of fear you act your way out
17:24
SPEAKER_00: insight alone changes nothing you can understand a fear perfectly and still be run
17:28
SPEAKER_00: by it action is what retrains it
17:31
SPEAKER_00: because action gives your nervous system new evidence your design even shows
17:35
SPEAKER_00: where your particular fear tends to sit and the gift waiting on the other side
17:39
SPEAKER_00: of it that's in your report but and this is the sentence that ties today together
17:45
SPEAKER_00: the action has to fit how you're built the right action walks you through the fear
17:50
SPEAKER_00: the wrong one just confirms it
17:53
SPEAKER_00: the projector who hustles at her fear hits resistance and concludes she was right
17:57
SPEAKER_00: to be afraid the generator who forces initiation drains herself
18:01
SPEAKER_00: and concludes she hasn't got what it takes neither was short of courage both took
18:06
SPEAKER_00: the wrong medicine diagnosis tells you where to act design tells you how that's
18:11
SPEAKER_00: the whole session last one and it's the big one which fear is louder
18:16
SPEAKER_00: for you right now the fear of changing or the fear of staying exactly as you are
18:20
SPEAKER_00: there's a question inside the balance reset that gets at this how would it feel
18:24
SPEAKER_00: if your life stayed exactly as it is for the next five years when i asked myself
18:28
SPEAKER_00: that question last year the honest answer was not a good place and that answer is
18:33
SPEAKER_00: a large part of why i've done everything i have since to move from where i was to
18:37
SPEAKER_00: where i am today sometimes the fear of staying the same is
18:40
SPEAKER_00: the most useful thing you own once you've named it here's your action
18:43
SPEAKER_00: and there's only one one small shift this week
18:47
SPEAKER_00: three criteria aimed at your weakest pillar
18:50
SPEAKER_00: the one you wrote down 20 minutes ago not the comfortable pillar
18:54
SPEAKER_00: the leaking one taken in the way your design actually moves if you're
18:58
SPEAKER_00: a generator pick the option that gets a genuine yes from your gut if you're
19:02
SPEAKER_00: a projector make it visible and let the invitation come right action right method
19:08
SPEAKER_00: and not an overhaul a realignment of focus
19:11
SPEAKER_00: if your shift takes more than 15 minutes
19:13
SPEAKER_00: a day it's too big shrink it small grounded steps beat grand disconnected leaps
19:19
SPEAKER_00: and small shifts now prevent years of drift that's it one pillar one shift your way
19:26
SPEAKER_00: so your two-minute homework and it's the same instruction from the start of
19:29
SPEAKER_00: the session take the balance reset balance.ai reset balance.ai slash reset
19:38
SPEAKER_00: your flow score is the baseline everything this week builds
19:40
SPEAKER_00: on tomorrow we simplify ai your tech stack and what stays uniquely human how to hand
19:46
SPEAKER_00: the machines what they're good at so you can keep what only you can do it's
19:50
SPEAKER_00: the session i'm most excited
19:52
SPEAKER_00: to deliver all week i'm laurel this is balance clarity progress flow see you
19:58
SPEAKER_00: tomorrow