Latest / Voice Notes to the Universe / Voice Note #117—Are you kidding me?
Transcript
- speaker-0: So dig it, baby, dig it. Here's another voice note to the universe. Actually, this is more like a this is more like a rant to the universe. I'm gonna be real. You know, this is my rant to the universe. So speaker-1: I speaker-0: drive Uber. You know, listen, what it helps to fill in the gap for me while speaker-1: It's good. I work on other things and speaker-0: And so today I was on my very last ride. I was picking this guy up from work. speaker-1: you were at Whole Foods and so I pulled over, you know, in the speaker-0: in parking lot, pulled over to the side. speaker-1: I am not in anyone's way. speaker-0: way, I'm not blocking any traffic, I'm not blocking any person from cross speaker-1: Person crossing the street. I'm just I'm just there. I'm just existing. speaker-0: I'm waiting for the guy. I pull over, I put my hazards on, I wait for the car, speaker-1: The guy the guy gets in my car speaker-0: and then I'm you know because now I'm gonna put my blinker on so it needs speaker-1: that I can get out, you know, away from my space. speaker-0: to get out. speaker-1: And as I'm waiting for people to cross the street so I can go, this speaker-0: Yes. speaker-1: I gotta hold my tongue. This fucking old crusty ass bitch comes knocking. speaker-0: on my window screaming at me. speaker-1: Yelling at me that I'm supposed to be using my hazards and like what's wrong with me and how could I be there with I w and not have my hazards on? Bitch, are you fucking kidding me? Are you motherfucking kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? You're walking out of Whole Foods to go to your car and you feel the goddamn need to come over and knock on my fucking window? To tell me to to use my hazards? Are you kidding me? Are you are you for real? Are you she had all this this nasty look on her face and all this makeup caked up on her face, you Boca bitch. I couldn't I was like this is insane. Of all the fucking things, of all the things that are gonna irritate you and and you're gonna complain about. Right now listen, I can say the same for me. This is irritating the fuck out of me and I'm complaining but listen, I'm just I'm just sending my fucking rant into the universe, my voice note into the universe. This bitch actually came up and fucking knocked on my window. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? But she did to yell at me because I didn't have my hazards on of all the things, of all the things this cranky ass hag could be complaining about and worrying herself over in this world that is so much more unjust and unfair and fucked up. This she's gonna come over. speaker-0: Now listen. speaker-1: Yeah yeah. I just listen, I I just let it go, but god damn it. It's a good thing I did not just pick somebody up. And it's a good thing she was an old hag. Cause bitch, I fucking wanted to fucking throat punch her. I wanted to throat punch her. Cause listen, I told you I'm not all love and light, baby. I told you I'm not all love and light. I told you I got a me like you cannot speaker-0: Shadow and speaker-1: believe I got a demon in me named Crowley. I fucking told you that. Damn it, listen, I can be a little bit of a salty bitch because when God made me, he took the sweet and he left the salt. Alright? So don't fuck with me. Also, I'm a sag with a sag stellium and I've got so much fire in my chart, I will you will catch on fire just by me looking at you the wrong way. So don't fuck with me. speaker-0: It also doesn't help. My speaker-1: Today's my speaker-0: eighth day of my water fast. good lord. I was guided. I was guided to do a water fast. And so today is my eighth day. Thank God I break it tomorrow. I break my fast tomorrow and I can good golly, Miss Molly. speaker-1: Damn it. All right. My rant is over. speaker-0: toodle-oo.