Latest / Healthy, Period. / Ep 25: The Identity Factor

Transcript

Ep 25: The Identity Factor · Healthy, Period.

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, hey, what is up guys?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I am so excited to be back for Healthy Period podcast episode number, I don't even know at this point.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: But today I'm so excited because I want to talk about how so many women take their diagnosis and make it their identity.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a Hashi girl, PM PMOS girly, but I'm also bad at losing weight or my body hates me.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: I have a true belief that our body hears the words that we speak over ourselves.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And if we identify as the PMOS girly or the endo-girly, then our perception of our flare-ups, our experiences, our symptoms are always going to be in the lens of a sick girl.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I know this because I was diagnosed with endometriosis in 2023.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: My periods were awful.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: It got to the point where I wanted my husband to bring me to the hospital.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew there was nothing that the ER could do for me, but I couldn't stand up, I couldn't breathe, my periods came with vengeance.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And when I was finally diagnosed, I started fearing my period even more because my diagnosis meant that I was sick, that my periods would always be terrible, that I would never have an answer.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: And the doctor who diagnosed me, who I honestly haven't even seen since I cried leaving her office that day, told me that the pill and surgery were my only options.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know my story, because I talk about it a lot, you know that I did go through with a DNC, but I said absolutely not to exploratory endosurgery.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I did say yes to the pill at the time because I literally had no idea what other options were out there and I just like needed to get out of pain.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: But I knew the pill wasn't a long-term solution for me because I have pretty bad side effects on the pill.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: I do end up with brain fog and some depression like symptoms.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: So at 26 years old, I was reading the books, reading the research.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know someone like me when I was going through it.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I created me.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're welcome.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing that I learned in therapy, not in a book about periods, not in a podcast about hormones, but in therapy, that even though I was relieved that I finally had a diagnosis for what was wrong, I was clinging to that diagnosis and it literally had me in a chokehold.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: It defined me.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: It I held on to it as part of my identity.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't Katie, but I had endo.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the idea that working out was harder for me because I had endo or losing weight was harder for me because I was inflamed.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't know, endometriosis is an inflammatory disease.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a hormonal issue.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: It just shows up as a hormonal issue.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's like the symptom of it, but it is an inflammatory disease.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: The idea that my period would always flare because I had endo, literally all of that was becoming my identity.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't even tell you when I decided that endo was no longer part of who I am.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have like a come to Jesus moment with that thought.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: But as I worked hard to reverse insulin resistance and I made decisions that would reduce my inflammatory load, as I chose things that aligned with who I wanted to become, the attachment to the disease or the diagnosis, it just went away.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the secret: you don't get to where you want to go by making decisions based on the version of yourself that you are right now.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: When you start making decisions like you are already the woman you want to be, that is when you will see change happen.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew it in my bones that the options that conventional medicine was giving me were not the options for me.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know me, you know that I have a deep relationship with the Lord.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that little whisper, that like intuition that comes from a quiet voice that tells you what direction to go, that's God.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: God speaks in whispers.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: He's not loud, he's not chaotic.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: So that little whisper, that intuition, it's a gift from God telling me that there was a better option for me and that my healing was out there.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: It just wasn't in conventional medicine.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that was a little side note.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to get that out there because I feel like somebody needed to hear that.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: I've been trying to find the words to tell you guys that for a little bit now.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: So now you have that.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I have worked with hundreds of women over the last 12 years, and the ones who cling to their diagnosis like it's their lifeline, their identity is in the diagnosis, that they don't know who they are, what they're called to, how to make decisions outside of that identity.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can't reverse chronic disease if you're living in the emotion of the diagnosis.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's the thing: as women, it is hard for doctors to finally listen to us, to actually hear what we're saying to them, to get an answer to the issue.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: It takes an average of seven years to get an endometriosis diagnosis, which is literally insane to me.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, finally getting the diagnosis is relieving.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Finally, getting the doctor to run the right test to find the answer is relieving.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Finally, hearing that your experience is real and it's not only in your head is relieving.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: So now you have the diagnosis, the root cause, the answer to the problem.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, what are you gonna do about it?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Are you gonna use that as the excuse why everything is harder for you?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in perimenopause, things are harder for me.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: I have Hashimoto's, I can't insert whatever you're not willing to face here.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: I have endo.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: My period will always let me stop you there because I work with so many women with endo, and we have made incredible changes in not only their period health, but their overall metabolic health.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: You've heard me say this before, and I'm gonna say it over and over and over until you actually believe me.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Your body is a system, everything works together.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system and your gut talk to each other.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Your hormones adjust based on your blood sugar.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Your thyroid is a mirror of your gut health.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Your mental health can be a reflection of your metabolic health and gut health.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your period is a report card of what's happened over the last 30 to 90 days.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Perimenopause, that's an audit of the last 20 years.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Blood sugar, sleep, pushing through everything, dieting for 20 years.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have muscle?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Perimenopause is an audit of what's happened over the last 20 years.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I used to love the identity, like I used to love to identify as the coach that could meet you where you were at and would guide you all the way through, which I totally do.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And there's so much beauty in that.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that's like, I call that like gentle parenting.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like I love meeting you where you are and creating the plan to get you where you want to go, but I'm not gonna gentle parent you through it anymore.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: I am literally sick of meeting you inside an identity that has you in a chokehold.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sick of listening to the woe is me because I have whatever, right?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sick of you not celebrating your wins because they weren't big enough for you to celebrate them.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sick of you thinking consistency is the same thing as perfection.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sick of you thinking that more consistency and more discipline is gonna fix the issue when the real issue is that you don't bounce back fast enough and you literally are just not resilient.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sick of your diagnosis being the thing that holds you back.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: I do want to meet you where you are, your kids' schedules, building your career, showing up for others, wanting to be the best woman ever.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: I want to work with the women who are committed to showing up, performing well, and having it all.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can have it all, but you can't have it all when your diagnosis is choking you out.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can't have it all when you throw in the towel when things get hard.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: You can't have it all when you allow your personality to be the cop-out for why things are the way they are.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: There is deep internal work that needs to be done.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Radical acceptance.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Awareness is great, but are you so aware that you're still becoming aware and now you aren't even doing anything about it?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I have so many mic drops in this podcast.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: I've probably hurt your feelings so many times, but I promise you, your diagnosis is not a reason to not go after the health that you want.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Your diagnosis is a label for a set of experiences that you are experiencing.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it's if you understand that it's just the name of your experience, the pattern that is showing up in your body right now, and you understand why those symptoms are showing up the way they are, then you can release the weight of the diagnosis itself and step into who you are to become.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Step into the woman who can heal, step into the woman who doesn't have to sacrifice her health for anything else.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can have it all, but you can't have it all at the same time.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you can either choose to radically accept that your pattern of symptoms is going to take work to heal, to reverse, to figure out, or you can choose to sit in your diagnosis and ruminate in that identity.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: There is deep internal work that needs to be done, and I can't do that for you.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: I guess I can just hit you where it hurts and hope that you do the internal work for yourself.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna end it here for you guys because I want you to sit with yourself and really reflect on your experience with your diagnosis.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Has there been times where you say, I can't have because I have ex or I am a ex girly?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's a difference between advocating for yourself and awareness and sitting in that diagnosis and not taking the action that you need to take to fix it.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm done now, guys.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: I see you in the next one.