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Mojo Monday - Before You Call It Anxiety .... With Carly Taylor · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Everyone.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: It's Kali here for this week's Mojo Monday. So I'm
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: going to talk about that a word today, and I
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: think most of you are going to know what the
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: A word is. So I'm going to talk about the
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: word anxiety, and I think a lot of you will
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: agree with me, or maybe you haven't thought about this,
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: but it is a word that is overused at the moment.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: I think social media has had a huge impact on that.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: We tend to our young people and I'm not isolated
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  Speaker 2: to young people that many of us are very aware
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  Speaker 2: of medical kind of terminology and using it in our
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: everyday language just because it's just so accessible.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: At the moment.
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  Speaker 2: I wanted to talk about this because I know a
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: lot of students are heading into exams season right now
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: the schools and the universities, and there are a lot
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: of kids at school, maybe year eight, year nine. I
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: know my son, he's included in this, and they are
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  Speaker 2: doing exams for the very first time, so of course
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: that is going to bring up feelings.
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  Speaker 1: In the lead up to exams.
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  Speaker 2: So I just wanted to have a bit of a
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  Speaker 2: chat about that, but of course not isolated to those situations.
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  Speaker 1: Now, I know Naming how we feel is helpful.
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  Speaker 2: Of course, research shows us that labeling an emotion can
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  Speaker 2: turn down the intensity.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: It's a bit like.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Turning down the sound of a blaring speaker. But what
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  Speaker 2: if we get the language wrong. What if the naming
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  Speaker 2: of the emotion is actually making things worse because we're
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  Speaker 2: getting the label wrong.
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  Speaker 1: You know, we feel this.
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  Speaker 2: Wide range of emotions, and when we say we'll name
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: that emotion, we have to kind of go into our
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: bank of vocabulary and match the label with the emotion.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: And there is a big chance that we're going to
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  Speaker 1: get that wrong.
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  Speaker 2: And what o'ur noticing in our language right now is
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  Speaker 2: we automatically go to this word anxiety to describe what
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: used to be called maybe nervousness or worry or concern.
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  Speaker 2: There are heaps of other words that we can use
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  Speaker 2: for how we're feeling in that moment. But what we're
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  Speaker 2: doing is we're slapping this label of anxiety on every flutter,
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  Speaker 2: every moment that we feel our nervous system kicking, you know,
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  Speaker 2: our racing heart, our shaking hands, or even our worried thoughts,
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  Speaker 2: and every dip in confidence that we have. It's like, oh,
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  Speaker 2: here's my anxiety or oh, I'm anxious.
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  Speaker 1: And here's what that can do.
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  Speaker 2: It can inflate something that is very human, that is
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: very natural and manageable, into something clinical.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: And what we're.
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  Speaker 2: Doing is we're pathologizing natural human responses where it's it's
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: like it's permanent. It's something that feels permanent, and it
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: feels heavy, and it feels much bigger than us. But
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  Speaker 2: most of the time it isn't and not all the time.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: I am very aware that everyone listening is in a
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: different situation, but I'm also aware that the word anxiety
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  Speaker 2: is being overused and that can have major ongoing repercussions.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: We're using the word anxiety as this umbrella term, and
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  Speaker 2: I don't think that's helpful. So being nervous, let's use
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: the word nervous, which is temporary, and I'm going to
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: talk about.
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  Speaker 1: What it is.
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  Speaker 2: But if we keep focusing on these sort of these
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: feelings of being nervous, it can lead to anxiety. And
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  Speaker 2: that can depend on how we approach it, our mindset,
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  Speaker 2: our attitude towards the nervousness.
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  Speaker 1: If we automatically call.
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  Speaker 2: Our state of being nervous anxiety and judge it as
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: negative and a threat something to get rid of.
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  Speaker 1: It can actually.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: Start to exacerbate and then it can get worse. So
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  Speaker 2: this is where we can control our attitude towards it.
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  Speaker 2: So if you have been listening to previous episodes, I've
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: mentioned this before. When I do presentations, which I love
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  Speaker 2: to do. I love presenting. It's an opportunity for me
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  Speaker 2: to make a difference in people's lives. But I can't
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  Speaker 2: really nervous and I'm talking really nervous in the lead
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  Speaker 2: up to it. But I don't call it anxiety. I
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  Speaker 2: don't say I'm anxious about doing the presentation.
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  Speaker 1: I certainly get hyped up, and I have worried thoughts and.
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  Speaker 2: I you know, all the stuff that goes on in
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  Speaker 2: your head and your body and the racing heart and
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: all that stuff. But I'm so glad that I that
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: actually happened thanks to me, which might sound a bit
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  Speaker 2: weird to you, but I welcome it. And that's because
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  Speaker 2: that nervous energy helps me. I'm grateful that it turns up,
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  Speaker 2: because what it is is it's.
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  Speaker 1: Telling me you care. You want this to go well.
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  Speaker 2: You want to give people value, So you need to
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  Speaker 2: put in the work, you need to show up.
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  Speaker 1: So think about that. On the other side of.
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  Speaker 2: That very uncomfortable, very unpleasant state of nervousness, there is
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  Speaker 2: this desire that I do well, and there's no way
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  Speaker 2: I would do as well without it. If I didn't care,
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  Speaker 2: I wouldn't feel nervous, so I wouldn't bother putting in
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  Speaker 2: the work that I do. So what I do is
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  Speaker 2: I listen to it. I don't run from it, and
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  Speaker 2: I use it as fuel. I prep better, focus more,
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  Speaker 2: and I really stay grounded. And it doesn't mean that
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  Speaker 2: I'm not super uncomfortable. Well, this is happening, but I'm
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  Speaker 2: just in embracing the whole thing. But it's not anxiety.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: I'm not anxious. I'm nervous. That's my body gearing up
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  Speaker 2: for something that really matters to me. And the same
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  Speaker 2: goes for students heading into exams. And I know some schools,
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  Speaker 2: as I mentioned, they've got exams in a few weeks
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  Speaker 2: and there are kids heading into exams for the first time.
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  Speaker 2: Let's stop casually throwing around the word anxiety. Anxiety is
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  Speaker 2: it can be a mental health condition because it's excessive
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  Speaker 2: and it can really stop people functioning in their life.
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  Speaker 2: It can be so debilitating an anxiety. It often can't
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  Speaker 2: be pinpointed to a trigger or an event. But what
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: most of us are feeling is natural. It's a natural,
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: healthy nervousness. Let's not medicalize something that's actually helpful. And
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  Speaker 2: so kids going into exams are going to feel nervous.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: It's natural, and that's because they care. They care about
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  Speaker 2: doing well, They want to do well. Okay, So changing
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  Speaker 2: that attitude towards it can actually mean they can use
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: it for fuel and really work out what they need
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  Speaker 2: to do. You know, maybe we can change our language
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  Speaker 2: and our attitude. And I guess if you can tell
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  Speaker 2: me what you're so called anxious about, like an exam
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  Speaker 2: or a presentation, or maybe it's a social event, then
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  Speaker 2: that's you being nervous. It's about an upcoming event, and
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  Speaker 2: chances are it'll all dissipate once you start, and certainly
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: once it's done. You know, how could you not feel
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: nervous before an exam or how you How could I
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  Speaker 2: not feel nervous before a presentation or even a social
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  Speaker 2: event where you hardly know anyone. I know, if I'm
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: going to a social event and I'm thinking, oh gosh,
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: you know, I only know one or two p people. Yes,
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  Speaker 2: I'm nervous about that because there's something on the other
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  Speaker 2: side of that that I care.
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  Speaker 1: I care about connection. I do care about what other
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  Speaker 1: people think of me, whether they're going to like me.
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  Speaker 2: This is all natural. So here's my invitation to you
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  Speaker 2: for this week. Instead of jumping automatically to a label,
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  Speaker 2: just feel what you feel. Take some time to connect
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  Speaker 2: with that feeling. The challenge with this is trying not
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: to judge it in any way, allow yourself to just be,
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  Speaker 2: and then you can ask what is on the other
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  Speaker 2: side of this feeling?
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: What is my desire?
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  Speaker 2: Is a desire to add value, a desire to do well,
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  Speaker 2: a desire for connection, And what is this feeling trying
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  Speaker 2: to tell me?
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  Speaker 1: You know, in my case, it's telling me prepare practice.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe it's telling the students to put the work in
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  Speaker 2: and study.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: You know.
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  Speaker 2: It might be telling you to take some time out
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  Speaker 2: and do something that's enjoyable for you, or maybe it's
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  Speaker 2: telling you to have an early night. There's just so
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  Speaker 2: many messages that these feelings can tell us. And then
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  Speaker 2: it's what do I need to do right now? Because
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  Speaker 2: the truth is the only reason we get nervous before
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  Speaker 2: something big is that we care. We give a damn
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  Speaker 2: and that's not a weakness, that's commitment, that's heart. So
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  Speaker 2: let's stop using the word anxiety as an umbrella term
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  Speaker 2: and let's start getting curious. Feel how you feel, stay human,
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  Speaker 2: and focus on what you care about, and then show.
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  Speaker 1: Up for that.
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  Speaker 2: So thank you so much for listening. I'm just so
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: full of gratitude for everybody that chunes in every Monday
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  Speaker 2: or whatever day you choose to tune into the Mojo
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  Speaker 2: Monday episodes. I just really really appreciate it. Have a
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: great week, and I'll catch you next week.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: So yeah,