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Transcript

LIFE Is a Mirror · The Sharon Francisco Show

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to the Sharon Francisco show.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Today the theme is about life is a mirror.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to start off by sharing verbatim, something that Oprah Winfrey, I love Oprah Winfrey.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think she's amazing.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I used to watch her shows back in the day, and I still love listening to her.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I I saw this come across my page uh a few days ago, and I thought I'd just share it verbatim with you.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Anytime you think it's, and I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try and say it with her enthusiasm because she says it really enthusiastically.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Anytime you think it's about the other person, that person is showing up to show you who you are.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're in a relationship where you take on a lot of stuff from them, it's really not about the person, it's about what it is about you that doesn't have the value for yourself that you're willing to let yourself be treated that way.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: So all of the bad relationships are the best teachers.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're in a bad relationship, if you're with somebody that's not loving you or giving you the sort of love that you need or seeing you the way that you want to be seen, that's not on them.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's on you.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason it keeps showing up wearing different, a different pair of pants is because God, the universe, the life force is trying to get you to see it.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And how bad does it have to get for you to see it?
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's why it keeps happening over and over again.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't have people who see you for the light you are, for the joy you are, for the sort of person you are, the goodness that you are that you bring to the world, you're with the wrong people.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care how well how that shows up in your life, if it's somebody that you're working with, if it's somebody that you're in a deep, deep relationship with, the reason that they keep showing up in your life is for you to make the change for you.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: You can't change them.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Hopefully, I've honored Oprah with that.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's so true.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it's oh, it's between the eyes, isn't it?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do we relate this to business?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: What if your pricing, your clients, your team, even your inability to take a proper holiday without a laptop are not separate business problems?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: What if they're all mirrors reflecting what you believe, what you tolerate, and where you are still afraid to lead?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: What Oprah recently spoke about that I just read out is about every relationship being an opportunity to learn more about ourselves.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of always asking, what does this always happen to me?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Can we ask, what is this showing me about myself?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Whoa, how cool's that?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: I believe our businesses do exactly the same thing.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's why we say business is a reflection of us, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is this is what we talk about.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: We go through this in our disc presentation.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to tell you a quick story about when I was in my mid-20s, uh, we were on a mission to learn as much as we could about ourselves and business and everything.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: So we started on the Tony Robbins um train.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: So we went to Unleashed the Power Within, which is a three-day program that he does.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: So we had to go to Sydney, which was an eight-hour drive from where we lived.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And we actually did Unleash the Power Within as paying clients for three times, I think.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then we started staffing the Unleash the Power Within.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then we went and did their his university.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: So we're in business with another couple, and we kind of tag team with the sort of things that we did.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: So my ex-husband and I did uh relationship, I can't remember what it was called, the relationship one where um you learn about relationships.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: My our business partners went and did the financial one.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: So we we sort of did a whole bunch of stuff with Tony Robbins.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: But it was one of the first Tony Robbins that we did with the Unleash the Power Within.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And he was explaining this concept, not exactly the way I've explained it, but kind of he meant the same thing that basically everything that we have, the the money in our bank accounts, the the sort of relationships we have, our physical bodies and how fit or not that we are, is all a mirror reflection of what what's inside, essentially.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I was a bit perturbed about that because I didn't kind of fully grasp for that our life is a living representation of what we're thinking.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And we were really like I was in my mid-20s, so forgive me, I was young.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I just felt we were doing everything, and we were.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we had a business, we were reading all the business books, we're attending training and seminars, professional development.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: We were working harder, we were learning new strategies, we had a coach in our business, we were trying everything, and we weren't only just doing that with business, we were around our physical fitness, we were doing um a program.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if anyone's ever heard of this program.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's called the Bill Phillips program.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably not even around anymore.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: And his program was like a 12-week program where you trained uh short, sharp intervals.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it was six days of training, but only like 20 to 30 minutes.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't, it wasn't a lot of training, but it was about that 20 to 30 minutes.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you had a one day off where you didn't have to train and you could eat whatever you want.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was such a cool little program.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And we we got a lot of really good results from that.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: So we were doing all this really cool stuff.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: So we're eating really well.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Where we learned about drinking all the water was from Unleashed the Power Within.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: So we were drinking the two to three liters of water a day, we're eating really well, we were training, we're reading all the business books, we're sort of open to what we could learn.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: We were just all in, completely all in.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So when Tony said this, I'm like, hang on a minute.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: What we're doing all that, we're doing all the things.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I and in my way, I put my little hand up and said, excuse me.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't think that he'd answer my hand being up, but of course he did.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: He pointed to me and I nearly died because I had my hand up.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, my face was on the screen at the front of the auditorium, of which there were about five or six thousand people.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so Tony's like, You, what's what what do you want to ask?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Well, I don't believe you.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think that that's wrong.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I we're doing everything that you've just said, all the things that we need to do.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: We're training, we're exercising our bodies, we're learning, we're reading books, we've got a coach, we're learning all the strategies, we're open to working hard, we're working hard, we're open to new ideas, all of that.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: We're doing all of that.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I won't go into the detail of what Tony did, but he kind of told me in front of five or six thousand people the concept of life's a mirror.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I haven't forgotten it since.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, and that's why I think I've been so willing to look at me and my results and and and you know, my my fitness and my business results and my relationships in such a way that if I'm creating this, what am I doing to create that?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that that kind of concept fed into a whole bunch of things that I've done, like finding Pierre and building my business and all of that.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, if it's not working, what am I doing that's blocking that?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: How can I get through that?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So if we look at our businesses, pricing, your pricing in your business is a mirror.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: So your pricing can show you how strongly you believe in your value.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're low-balling your price, this is a probably a subconscious thing around your value and what value you give.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: How frightened of you uh, so if pricing is a mirror, how frightened you are of rejection, whether you need clients to approve of you, whether you over-deliver to prove your worth and your fee.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: If pricing's a mirror, whether you discount before the clients even objected, or even if they're not objecting, maybe you're you are doing that scope creep because you think, mmm, they're paying me really well.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'll just go a little bit over and beyond because they're paying me so well.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Or they're not, I know they don't have a lot of money, so I can't charge them for the actual hours that I've done.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: I probably stuffed around a little bit anyway, so I won't charge them for that.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So if pricing's your mirror, these are the sort of games we're playing in our head.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Are your clients genuinely unwilling to pay you more?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you just frightened to ask if pricing was a mirror?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: What if clients, what if your clients are a mirror too?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: If clients are continually crossing your boundaries, so they're asking you for things outside of business hours, if they're, if they pay you late and you let them pay you late, and you're not saying, look, I don't normally do this and I'd like you to be on a payment plan or whatever.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: If clients are a mirror, do we ignore your processes?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: So you kind of let things slip if if clients are your mirror and somebody's a bit pushy and you go, you know what, I'll just whatever, I'll just let that slip.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: If they expect immediate results, like that's the mirror.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: You've you put on clients that expect immediate results, whose fault is that?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Is that theirs or is that you allowing them to expect immediate results by actually giving them immediate results?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: What about adding work without expecting to pay more?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: They know the scope, they know what they're paying for, but then they want more because they go, you know what, I'll just ask, and if you deliver, you deliver.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: But even if it's not in scope.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: So if all these things or some of these things are happening, ask yourself, what am I tolerating and therefore teaching your clients that's acceptable?
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, this is not about blaming yourself for somebody else's behavior.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's about recognizing where you still have the power to change that relationship and to realign that relationship so it does serve you and your values.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: What if your team, the people you hire, are your mirror?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: You employ your team members and give them systems to follow, but they continue doing things their own way.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you feel embarrassed to correct them.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want to appear controlling or difficult, so you stay quiet and redo the work yourself.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: We just, you know, go, you know what?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's just what it is.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: The system is not necessarily the problem.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: The mirror may be showing you that you're avoiding leadership or leadership, building leadership skills because you want to be liked or you want to be their friend.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I was very much like that to begin with when I first started having a team.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: So is this what we're doing?
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: What if this was happening in your business?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Clear expectations are not unkind in these situations when you're when you've got a team.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Holding somebody accountable is actually leadership.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: What if compliance and holidays are your mirror?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Compliance is really familiar, you know how to do it, it feels safe, it feels predictable.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: You kind of, you know, that's what you started your business to do was compliance work for your clients.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: But staying inside compliance can actually protect you from having to learn marketing skills, sales skills, delegation skills, and leadership skills.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't take a proper holiday with taking your laptop or working or doing a payroll, your business is showing you something.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Have you built a business or have you created a demanding job that can't operate without you?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: And we know what job stands for.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Just overbroke.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: So we don't want to create that.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: What about advisory?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Is that showing you a mirror?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Stepping into advisory means trusting your knowledge and thinking a little bit differently to just doing compliance work.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: It means you have to develop skills around advisory.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: So you may have to tell yourself, you may be telling yourself if you're not doing advisory, look, I'm just not qualified enough.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: And a big one I hear from bookkeepers all the time is, oh, we can't, we can't do advisory.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's not right.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Where it's even um we can be called up on that.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: There are certain things that you can do with your clients that you can share with them and hold them accountable and show them without crossing any lines.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Or so not being qualified enough is where you would go, what do I need to learn to be able to start doing this?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: If your life is a mirror, we're around advisory, you might be thinking, my clients know more than I do, or I need another course first to learn how to do it.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or what if they ask me something I can't answer?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: The mirror here is showing you where your belief has not caught up with your capability.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, if you really genuinely feel you don't have the capability, just learn.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: I know I went to a program once, a call um uh like a networking thing when I was um building the bookkeeping business with my sister-in-law.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it was two accountants that would get bookkeepers together every month and share a little bit of knowledge around what they know.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember being in that room, there was probably about 10 bookkeepers.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: And of course they were doing it to try and get referrals from their bookkeepers from bookkeepers that were turning up.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that they um taught one month was how to do cash flow forecasts.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember sitting there, like, I you wouldn't want me to do a cash flow forecast because I've got no idea what how to do that.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember sitting there and the bookkeepers were saying, Oh, I've never done one of those before.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: And they were like genuinely very interested in hearing the accountants, it's before I really knew that not many bookkeepers do cash flow forecasts.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: And they felt quite inspired by the accountants teaching them how to do that.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't know how to do a cash flow forecast with all the resources these days, with YouTube and uh ChatGPT and even asking, um, even asking somebody to show you how to do that, so then you've built the skills to be able to show your clients.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, if you want to practice with these sort of things, you can practice on your friendly clients first before you charge for that service.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: So the advisory or the avoidance advisory might be showing you um the mirror.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't need to answer every question, remember.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: You need the skills to ask valuable questions, interpret the numbers, and guide the conversation.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: So the lesson, what's the lesson here?
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Your business isn't judging you, same as with what Oprah said.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's showing you.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Your business is actually showing you.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that cool?
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's such a cool thing.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: So it's your price, it's showing you your prices, clients, team, workload, holidays, and profit are giving you information about what you believe, what you tolerate, and where you need to grow or learn or develop skills.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: So stop blaming the mirror.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Look honestly at what it's reflecting, because when you change what's happening within you, you begin to change what appears around you.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that the coolest?
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's so cool.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Hopefully, this has been helpful today, guys.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, talk to you soon.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.