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From Fear to Finish Line: Planning Your Way to Success · Closing Sales in Nigeria - Sales For The Nigerian Business Person: The Sales and Marketing Blueprint

• 0:01
  Hello and welcome to the show. It's a cozy Monday evening over
• 0:06
  here. So let's just head straight into
• 0:07
  it. The question for today is how to
• 0:10
  overcome fear of failure. Now, failure or inadequacy or
• 0:16
  the feelings that things aren't going to work out.
• 0:19
  It's it's normal. Everybody goes through them.
• 0:22
  And technically speaking, if you're a psychiatrist, you know,
• 0:26
  I'm sure you're going to treat each of these things as a
• 0:28
  separate thing, you know, fear of failure, lack of confidence,
• 0:31
  inadequacy, blah, blah, blah. But for the purposes of this
• 0:35
  show, I'm just going to lump everything together because from
• 0:38
  a business perspective or from a sales perspective, usually it's
• 0:43
  a whole bunch of these things that are lumped together in one.
• 0:46
  And then plus, I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm not a
• 0:49
  psychologist, I'm not a psychoanalyst, I'm not a psycho
• 0:52
  anything. I'm not a shrink, so I'm just
• 0:55
  trying to take whatever wisdom that we can get from the
• 0:58
  disciplines of sales and business development and see how
• 1:02
  we can help ourselves out. Now, remember, I've been saying
• 1:05
  time and time again on the podcast that when we discuss
• 1:08
  these sorts of things that it's actually best if you say a
• 1:10
  mental health professional. Luckily, in Nigeria, mental
• 1:15
  health professionals are becoming more readily available.
• 1:18
  Still not enough. And when you find them in
• 1:20
  private clinics, as at the date of this recording, it can be
• 1:24
  quite expensive. So the average consultancy fee
• 1:29
  for, you know, normal doctor when you stroll into a
• 1:31
  government hospital is, let's say, roughly 10 grand.
• 1:34
  You know, 5K in some places, 7K in some places, let's just call
• 1:37
  it 10 grand. But for mental health
• 1:41
  professionals, you know, I've heard forty, I've heard fifty.
• 1:46
  You know, for the average person going to go and see a shrink,
• 1:50
  well, you know, we're just not there yet.
• 1:52
  You know, the average person is not going to fork out 50 KS.
• 1:55
  Go and see a shrink. Well, of course, if you have a
• 1:57
  broken leg and you need to fork off, fork out 120 then you know,
• 2:01
  of course. Yeah, anyway, let me stop
• 2:05
  rambling. But luckily, I'm just trying to
• 2:07
  say that mental health professionals are now readily
• 2:10
  now more readily available in Nigeria.
• 2:12
  All you have to do is step into a government hospital.
• 2:15
  For instance, in Abuja, the closest one to me, the General
• 2:18
  Hospital Area 8, the time I ran into trouble with the Federal
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  Rd. Safety Corps, you know, they got
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  me, they impounded the car and maybe I look like a mad guy.
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  So they said I had to go for a mental health inspection.
• 2:32
  And anyway, so it cost me, I think at the time it cost me 5
• 2:36
  grand to register and set up a, a card with the hospital.
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  So it just cost me about 5 grand to see a mental health
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  professional. So if you think that you are
• 2:47
  feeling things, suffering stuff that go beyond the ambit of what
• 2:50
  it is that we're talking about over here on the podcast and
• 2:53
  you're Nigerian, you need not suffer for too long.
• 2:56
  There's help available just strolling to the nearest
• 2:59
  government hospital. I'm sure a medical doctor should
• 3:02
  be able to point you in the right direction or at the very
• 3:05
  least since they receive some form of mental health training.
• 3:09
  I know it's inadequate. Some people say you only receive
• 3:11
  one elective in year, year two or year three or something like
• 3:15
  that. It's still better than someone
• 3:16
  else like me just grabbing the mic and pontificating on things
• 3:19
  about mental health. So failure, inadequacy, things
• 3:25
  aren't going to work out. We're going to lump it all into
• 3:27
  the same perspective. Now, the solution, in my own
• 3:32
  opinion, is not motivational talk and the solution is not in
• 3:35
  our work. Maybe we're going to get to, in
• 3:37
  our work, mental game, motivational talk and all the,
• 3:42
  you know, all that other stuff. We'll get to it eventually, but
• 3:45
  not now. Because in the average person, a
• 3:48
  fear of failure or feelings of inadequacy come from this very
• 3:53
  palpable feeling that, you know, you don't have a plan, so you
• 3:59
  can't even see how something is going to work.
• 4:02
  And then the lack of confidence bit or feeling like you lack the
• 4:05
  personal capacity to do something, usually it's a sign
• 4:08
  of like you haven't done the thing before.
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  So for the average person who is not dealing with severe mental
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  health issues, the problem really is that you don't have a
• 4:18
  discernible plan. And so because you don't, the
• 4:21
  thing looks scary. It doesn't matter whether you
• 4:25
  want to invest in real estate, you want to invest in capital
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  markets or you like a guy in your class or you like a girl in
• 4:31
  your class, it's it's all the same.
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  There's no discernible plan. You don't know what you don't
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  because you don't have a disabled plan.
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  You can't see how it's going to work.
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  And that is where some of these feelings are coming from.
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  And then lack of confidence or personal competence, personal
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  capacity, all those things because you have not done it
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  before. So those are the reasons why the
• 4:51
  average person is feeling these things.
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  Please remember, I'm talking about the average person.
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  I'm not talking about people who wake up in the morning and have
• 4:59
  a cloud hanging over their heads and they have no idea if the
• 5:03
  cloud is going to lift and when things are going to, when things
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  are going to subside. When I was younger and I thought
• 5:11
  I had problems with depression and stuff like that, that's the
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  way the doctor spoke to me about it.
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  The doctor said, young man, you don't have a problem.
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  And I said I don't have a problem.
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  How He said, let's pretend that you wake up in the morning and
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  there's a cloud over your head. Does the cloud, does the cloud
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  rise? I thought, yeah, yeah, sure.
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  The cloud rises. And I said, yeah, young man, you
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  don't have a problem. Everybody goes through it.
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  You know, back then I was a Moody teenager like some of you.
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  And so that's why I explained it to me because I have never, I
• 5:37
  mean, the sun has always risen in my head.
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  So things might be crap right now, but you sleep, you eat, you
• 5:43
  watch the STV or, you know, something by shawarma eats.
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  We have sleep, Wake up and ready to face the day.
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  So it's a young man, you don't have a problem.
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  Now, there's some people that have severe problems because the
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  cloud does not rise. So I'm not talking about those
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  sorts of people. I'm talking about the average
• 6:00
  Nigerian who is scared because of business or career or
• 6:03
  something. So with what I've said right
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  now, you'll find that most people will be fine if you can
• 6:09
  just come up with a plan. If you're scared of doing online
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  marketing for your business, you think that is what you need to
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  do next and you think that is what is hampering your your
• 6:19
  growth going to go and do that mental work, mental game.
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  And you know all that. Yeah, it's, it's all right.
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  It's not bad. But if you come up with a plan
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  first for speaking professionals, like, OK, I need
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  someone to take me from point A to point B.
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  How do I pick the right professional?
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  What do I need to educate myself about?
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  What kind of plans are out there?
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  How can I take small calculated risks?
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  If you do all these things first and then walk on the metal game
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  later, I think you'll be better off because education reduces
• 6:49
  the uncertainty and small wins lead to bigger confidence that
• 6:55
  you can do things later on. So if you read things like,
• 6:59
  let's see, what else, OK, people in my own generation would have
• 7:01
  read Rich Dad, Poor Dad does. That was kind of the stuff that
• 7:04
  was flowing out, flowing around at the time.
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  You see that the principle is pretty much the same.
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  Rich dad, poor dad. The wealth vehicle that are
• 7:13
  contemplated in those sorts of books are real estate.
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  So real estate scary. How do you reduce the scariness?
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  How do you reduce your fit, your fear?
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  Get education. You're more educated, the amount
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  of risk reduces, your feelings of competence increase.
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  And then you start small, especially if you're going to do
• 7:33
  the rich dad poor dad way. Now, if you're following other
• 7:36
  people like Grant Cardone and you're thinking about getting
• 7:39
  involved in real estate, I mean, Grant Cardone says don't waste
• 7:41
  your time buying single unit, double unit, blah, blah, blah.
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  He thinks start off with multiple units.
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  But anyway, that's a conversation for another day.
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  But either way, you can see that if you're thinking the Grant
• 7:53
  Cardone way, don't buy single or double units, buy plenty units.
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  You might as well just start on that level.
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  Or if you're thinking rich dad, poor dad, buy a house first.
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  Or no, not by a house. What is it called?
• 8:07
  Sorry, I can't remember all those plans.
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  It's been a while since I read the books.
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  But Grand Cardone and Robert Kiyosaki would have a difference
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  of opinion about how you're entering the the the real estate
• 8:18
  market. But they have one thing that is
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  the same. That is educate yourself.
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  So educating yourself is going to reduce the uncertainty.
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  The small wins was going to lead to bigger confidence that you
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  can get some stuff done. So it's the same for those of us
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  who are scared of personal selling because there are lots
• 8:33
  of people who are scared of picking up the phone, a lot of
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  people who are scared of going to that meeting because, you
• 8:39
  know, it happens all the time, like, oh, I haven't meet you
• 8:41
  Madame Mukherki, bro, I beg escort me.
• 8:44
  You know, so it it happens. So if you have a meeting with
• 8:48
  Madame Mukherki and you're scared for the meeting, what you
• 8:51
  have to do is you need to come up with a plan, do some
• 8:54
  research. What is personal selling?
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  What are the principles that undergird personal selling?
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  What kind of frameworks are out there?
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  What kind of talk tracks are out there?
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  What kind of templates, what kind of scripts, what kind of
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  outlines, what kind of whatever it is do you want to call it?
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  Some personal research is also going to help.
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  What kind of person is Madame Ukariki?
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  What are her priorities in business life, personal life,
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  you know, trying to figure out all these sorts of things.
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  Don't wait until if the meeting is Tuesday, Don't start trying
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  to figure out these things on Monday.
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  You know, that's just going to give you heightened anxiety.
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  So if you able to hook up meeting with Madame Mukherke
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  because you want her to buy your product, invest in your business
• 9:30
  or whatever, if you fix it for two weeks from now, you know,
• 9:35
  now just start doing some small, small research.
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  Check YouTube for all the other things that I was talking about,
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  you know, personal selling, negotiation, handling
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  conversations, blah, blah, blah. Watch a couple of videos and ask
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  around about Madame Mukherke. You'll be much more prepared and
• 9:53
  much more confident going into that meeting.
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  And what I was trying to stress earlier is this.
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  By the time you meet with Madame Okariki and you meet with Deacon
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  Faduba and you meet with overseen taking B and you meet
• 10:06
  with Marzi Chukudi. And by the time you're trying to
• 10:09
  hook up a meeting with Alpha Metan Curry, you know the, the
• 10:12
  meeting is not going to be that scary because you've, you've
• 10:16
  done this thing. You've met with the
• 10:17
  businesswoman, you've met with the deaconess, you've met with
• 10:20
  the tribal leader, and you've met with the, you know, the
• 10:24
  businessman down who lives down from the street and you guys
• 10:26
  have had one or two conversations.
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  So trying to meet with this other person is not going to be
• 10:30
  that hard. So I'm not saying we should
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  disregard all the mental and all the motivational stuff.
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  Don't disregard that, please. It is really important, but deal
• 10:40
  with the practical challenges first because it's the practical
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  challenges that are actually making you scared.
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  So some of you are going to say highly paid athletes and CE OS.
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  They all have coaches for the mental game.
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  And you guys are absolutely correct.
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  All the highly paid CEOs in Niger or Giant or wherever, yes,
• 10:59
  they all have coaches and highly paid athletes all have coaches,
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  yes. But The thing is, these people
• 11:05
  that you're talking about, they all worked on the practical
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  difficulties first. They worked on the fundamentals
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  first. Because all the mental game in
• 11:14
  the world is not going to make you play like LeBron James or
• 11:18
  Michael Jordan or Woods. So if you don't know the
• 11:21
  fundamentals of dribbling, shooting, using a club, there's
• 11:24
  no amount of mental work, confidence in manifesting,
• 11:27
  whatever that will get you there.
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  It's just not going to happen. It's the same thing I tell my
• 11:32
  son. I'm a chess enthusiast.
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  Unfortunately, I'm good in teaching different things, but I
• 11:38
  guess I'm not good at teaching children chess because he leaves
• 11:41
  feeling demotivated. And then I've started letting
• 11:44
  him, you know, take a few pieces, things like that.
• 11:48
  Not like I'm letting him win. I'm just trying to let him see
• 11:51
  the mechanics of how you capture hanging pieces, how you build
• 11:55
  your strategy, things like that to build up his confidence.
• 11:58
  But I'm also trying to let him know that you can't feel your
• 12:02
  way to or you can't motivate your way to chess success.
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  You know, the basics first. How do you heard of the pieces,
• 12:09
  when to castle? What's a modern opening?
• 12:12
  What are the principles of hyper modern opening?
• 12:15
  What is considered good strategy or not?
• 12:17
  What is the best way to take advantage of your major pieces?
• 12:20
  When should you use a Rook? When should you move your queen?
• 12:23
  So like I'm trying to tell him you know all these fundamentals
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  first. When you now know all these
• 12:28
  things, then this whole thing of trying to psych yourself, you
• 12:30
  know, 'cause my son watches. What's this thing called Dragon
• 12:34
  balls? So you know that dragon balls
• 12:36
  with Goku and the rest of them, you know, you reach a stage in
• 12:41
  the fight where you psych yourself up and then you, you
• 12:44
  become, you're entering into Super Saiyan mode and all that,
• 12:47
  you know, you just mentally jazz yourself and you know, you move
• 12:50
  through through the next whatever.
• 12:52
  So all those things, yeah, they work, but only when you know the
• 12:56
  fundamentals. So that's why I'm saying that
• 12:58
  don't disregard the mental stuff, but deal with the
• 13:00
  practical things first. So if it's sports, learn
• 13:06
  dribbling, shooting, using the club.
• 13:08
  If it's chess, learn all the stuff that I've spoken about.
• 13:11
  It is when you have mastered all these things that then making a
• 13:14
  where to go and get a a mental coach, motivational coach or
• 13:18
  whatever is going to help you. All the mental game in the world
• 13:21
  is not going to make you a Zuckerberg until you figure out
• 13:23
  how to code and until you work on product market fit.
• 13:26
  So those of you boys and girls, you want to hammer, you want to
• 13:31
  build a fintech, but you're attending one motivational
• 13:34
  seminar after another after another after another, doing
• 13:37
  mental game, mental game, mental game.
• 13:39
  Please learn how to code, learn your discipline, figure out a
• 13:42
  way to achieve product market fit.
• 13:45
  When you get those basics, you can start mentally manifesting,
• 13:49
  you know, whatever. And somehow this is something
• 13:55
  that a whole lot of us don't realize because, you know, when
• 13:57
  you're knee deep in these things, you forget that that,
• 14:00
  you know, other people exist. Everybody has a fear of failure.
• 14:03
  Everybody has a sense of inadequacy and everybody has
• 14:06
  dread over the next step because no one knows everything.
• 14:10
  So there's always that first uncomfortable step.
• 14:14
  It happens to everyone. And I'm sure if you have the
• 14:17
  pleasure of meeting Dangote, maybe if you know him long
• 14:20
  enough, maybe one day you guys might be having someone on one.
• 14:22
  And, you know, he might admit you that.
• 14:23
  OK, actually before I pull this deal, you know, I wasn't too
• 14:26
  brave or before I pulled this one, you know, I was confused.
• 14:30
  I didn't know what to do or the reason why this one was able to
• 14:33
  happen was because this person guided me or this person did
• 14:35
  this, this person did that. So everybody has fears,
• 14:39
  everybody has sense of inadequacy, everybody has dread
• 14:41
  over the next step. So just do some research.
• 14:44
  You'll be able to see what's around the corner.
• 14:45
  If you can see what's around the corner, if you can see the next
• 14:48
  step, you take the next step and another and another.
• 14:51
  Eventually, with small steps, you're going to start jogging.
• 14:54
  And that, in my own opinion, is how you deal with fear of
• 14:59
  failure, feelings of inadequacy, and this whole thing of things
• 15:03
  are not going to work out. Deal with the practical things
• 15:06
  first. We can worry about the
• 15:08
  motivational stuff later. Or Please remember the
• 15:13
  motivational aspect, the mental game work, the whatever it is
• 15:16
  you want to call it, it's important.
• 15:18
  And then for those of you who have you feel like you have
• 15:21
  serious issues, you feel like you've heard what I'm saying now
• 15:25
  or you hear what your family members are saying.
• 15:27
  And but people don't get you. People don't understand you.
• 15:29
  If you feel like there's a problem, times have changed.
• 15:33
  It's no longer, you know, it's not, it's no longer, it's no
• 15:39
  longer the 1970s or the 1980s that in Nigeria, you know,
• 15:43
  people thought mental health means you're naked and walking
• 15:46
  on the street, you know, total madness, You know, like we, and
• 15:51
  then let me repeat all the words that we used to call those
• 15:54
  people back then. So it's no longer 60s,
• 15:56
  seventies, 80s. There's a different realization
• 15:59
  now. If you feel like you need help,
• 16:01
  just go to the nearest General Hospital.
• 16:04
  OK, Well, with how things have changed, I'm not sure.
• 16:06
  But anyway, I registered for 5K. So with inflation and
• 16:10
  everything, let's just say maybe it's 10K, maybe just go, go
• 16:14
  there, have a chat. I, I will be surprised if they
• 16:18
  don't have some general psychiatric word or whatever the
• 16:23
  word is and they just go there sha and speak to someone in the
• 16:26
  General Hospital. They'll be able to point you
• 16:28
  where you can, where you can get the right assistance, where you
• 16:32
  can get the a doctor look you over and you guys can have
• 16:36
  conversations about how you solve whatever problems it is
• 16:40
  that you're going through. So connect with me on WhatsApp,
• 16:44
  the phone number is 08064662140. The country code is +234 for
• 16:50
  those of you who are not Nigerian.
• 16:52
  And please when you connect me on WhatsApp, business
• 16:55
  discussions please, I am not a personal guru or mental health
• 16:59
  coach or anything of that nature.
• 17:02
  But business code questions, especially if the business
• 17:05
  question, if I can tie, if I can take sales and business
• 17:09
  development practice, use that and glean some wisdom from the
• 17:13
  situation, I should be able to help.
• 17:15
  Then also connect with me on LinkedIn.
• 17:17
  My name is Tavishima Ayede, I'm the host of the show.
• 17:19
  You can confirm the spelling of my name and my e-mail address
• 17:22
  from the link. We're currently listening to
• 17:23
  this episode. Thank you very much for your
• 17:25
  time and attention. I'll catch you guys at the next
• 17:27
  episode.