Latest / Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast / Ep 13 Pillow Fort Sessions | Navigating the World with Quiet Confidence A Guide for Introverts

Transcript

Ep 13 Pillow Fort Sessions | Navigating the World with Quiet Confidence A Guide for Introverts · Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast

• 0:56
  Speaker 1: To the pillow fort sessions of the around the kinky campfire podcast campfire with a care.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: This is your host, julius, and, as you heard in our very delightful intro, we have episodes hopefully every every, every, every other Thursday.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: The pillow fort sessions come out hopefully every first and third Thursdays and it's a very quick little specific talk I like to have on specific topics.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Right now I'm going through the many different identities I have personality traits, yada, yada yada.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Moving on from primal that we did last time, we are moving on to introvertism, but before we get there, as y'all know, it is our very quickly.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Popularity are 30 seconds ASMR minutes and I am drinking the sparkling ice energy raspberry flavor.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: So let me start that ASMR 30 seconds right now.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: In three, two, one delicious.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, we are not sponsored by Swackling as, but, as I've said before, I would definitely hold myself out for a sponsorship.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I love sparkling ice and I drink it.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: All the missing different flavors and forms, the two forms I think that they have the regular hydration drink and their energy energy brand definitely keeps me going.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: So, without further ado, let me jump right into this.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about introvertism because that is one of the traits I definitely identify with, along with primals, probably definitely my second trait.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: So this is why it's coming up as number two the term introvertism and it's synonymous word that goes with it, the variance.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Extrovertism was first introduced by a Carl Gustav Jung, back in the 1900s and it's basically a personality trait where a person focuses their energy on the inward.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: It literally introvert means turn inward, an extrovert means turn outward in the Latin terms.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: So basically, as an introvert, you tend to process your actions, thoughts, everything internally and you get energy from being by yourself.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: A more clinical, clinical, more common definition according to Webster's dictionaries, someone who spends time alone.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: It's a person in time where you get your energy, energy from.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: So once again, it's where you get your energy from.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people forget this part about being an introvert or an extrovert is how much does it drain you?
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Because a lot of the, the smart people back in the day, the, the youngs and the and the Freud's and the and the was cursed E E, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e E.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Nick German borns, english psychologist E E snake I don't even know how to say that, but they made it very clear that introvertism and extrovertism are where you draw your energy from.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: So if you're a person that gets energy from being alone most of the time, then you're probably an introvert, and if you get your energy from being around crowds a lot of the time, then you're probably an extrovert.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: This is kind of hard to explain because there's no like concrete definition is just basically a bunch of traits, signs that you could be an introvert, an extrovert, but there's no like hey, this is, they don't even know where it comes from.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: I've been doing a little bit of research and trying to get the origins of it all, but so many I mean young kind of made the official stamp after, like Freud came in and was trying to be all cycle analytic about it.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Jung came in and it was like, hey, this is, this is a thing that people have, man people, we.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: He was a theorist too.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: So they kind of just Was like, hey, people have these personality traits.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: We should probably name them and has to do with energy.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: So if you get burnt out easily from being in crowds, then you know, just got to take some alone time.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: But also, I want to make it known that it is a spectrum.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: So, although you might identify as an introvert, an extrovert and you might know where your energy comes from.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: You can sway back and forth.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: And then the one other one that a lot of people really don't know any of.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: It is the ambervert, which is basically both Ambi vert, so you turn Inward or outward.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: You amber, dexterous.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: You know you can do both.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I know for me I mostly an introvert and then can be an ever written like small groups, so like 10 to 20 people is where I'm good, and also it definitely changes if I know most of the people in the room that I'm in, meaning a lot of new people that I'd never met before, and then talking to them definitely drains me of my energy and I need some alone time by myself.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: That's my baseline, right there is being by myself.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I, you know, get plenty of energy that way and I can do a lot of stuff.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: But I have times where I like to go I'll be with friends and everything like that.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: So 10 to 20 people about my limit.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: So this is why I decided to do this episode, because even now, introvert, an extrovert, are very popularized, especially with the Myers burgers, myers Briggs, indicator tests that are out there.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: That's definitely the I mean not definitely is the first part of the, the type.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: I don't even what the three letters or call, but the classifications, these, the E and I.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: So you have that, you have either and he or I, which is kind of weird because that indicator is like 20 years old now or 20 plus years old now, but they haven't put the a in there.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: So there kind of needs to be a little bit of an update on there.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: And we'll talk about the Myers Briggs soon.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: By the way, just so y'all know a little heads up, the Myers Briggs is not like a Nationally, even internationally, know or License test is just kind of something that Myers and Briggs came up with themselves at their college.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: So it's not like officially accepted, I should say, but a lot of people talk about it.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: It doesn't mean it's any less Helpful.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: I guess you say factual.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: I mean there's astrology out there.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: So you know, take it as you will.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: It is very good to know that people are looking into themselves and taking these tests, though I rather much prefer to be with somebody that knows what their IMDB is.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Imdb Huh, hilarious IMDB.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Myers Briggs, I say I and II and if I and TJ is what I am, the standard, but IMDB, freudian slip.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: So it's good to know the person knows what they are, even with, like astrology and all these other different Harry Potter tests and yada yada Yaggy shmackity.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: It's good to know what your personality type is and definitely Know what you give and receive when you're in a relationship, not necessarily romantic or intimate relationship.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Just, you know friendships and family ships as well, so you know where your energy is being spent.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: So I'm glad they put this in the definition of introvert and extrovert, even though a lot of people don't consider this is where your energy, energy I'll keep saying this over and over again throughout this whole episode your energy.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: See where your energy is being spent.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: If you Experience burnout, then that means something Okay.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: So, introvert specifically.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: So, since that's a very Okay definition of what it is, I think he's like to spend time alone.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: That's pretty much all the research I've come across.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: That's pretty much what it means to be an introvert, which is pretty funny, and and or extrovert, that's, that's it.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Are they like to spend time in public?
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Or you'd like to spend time alone?
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: That's pretty much all they all, they all Congruent on up, agree with most of the time.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, so we have some signs, so let's see.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Here's some general signs.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: If you're, if you consider yourself an introvert, you need quiet to concentrate your reflective self-aware, take time to make decisions, comfortable being alone.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: That's the main thing.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: See, it says self-aware in introvert, but just because you're an extrovert doesn't mean you're any less self-aware, and there's a lot of there's like a tone in general when it comes to being like introvert, extrovert.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: It's like some of the especially like these Psychiatrists and psychologists theorists like to put hate on introverts because oh yeah, you have no problem being alone.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: In general, like Mary, not American study human society, we were made quote-unquote to be in groups, so I know it's a lot easier to be solo now and very much an individual and be alone In this current society with our access to the internet.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: But yeah, you know, back when we were in our cave dwellings and hunters and gatherers and all that stuff we were, we needed to be in a society to survive.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Don't really need to do that as much, considering we have like food and shelter where you can just buy it.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: If you have a decent amount of job and you don't, you don't need the social aspect of it all, but still you still draw energy or not from being around people.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, I don't know, just because you're, there's some, there's some tones in here, so self-aware, I wouldn't really classify that just as an introvert trait.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: I mean, you can be extrovert and still be self-aware, maybe not as much, but it still could be there.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Definitely, being comfortable being alone, that's definitely one of those things.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Don't like group work, so you like to be an individual when you're doing work.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I see that more as a trust issue.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Don't like group work.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: I guess it would depend on the group I More, so I can only speak for myself, having gone to college and thinking back about the last time I actually did some group work the social group work I guess that kind of counts too.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: So if you're part of a social group where events are being planned or something like that, whatever you're planning with a group makes it just a whole lot easier.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: To me is more like a functionality thing.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: No, one person can do that kind of stuff alone.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Let's see here what else we have retired after being in a crowd.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, yes, few friendships, but close with them.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: I guess that could make sense too.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Not necessarily want to be friends with everybody, because that takes more energy, where's you out more?
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: You kind of daydream to fix your problems, so that's kind of the reflective part of it Retreat and own mine to rest.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: So I look through a couple of different definitions when I was doing my research and these are kind of the things that kind of spanned all of them Once again, not very congruent, not very specific man, not not very specific at all.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: So you just signs that you could be an introvert, let's see.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: And then Typically, some differences, I guess medically introverts versus extroverts.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: You react to a dopamine differently.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: You get run down by reaction in reward center and then you experience burnout.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: So it's another thing where the energy part of it, your dopamine, that's where you get, you know, your pleasure From being either alone or with a crowd.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: So that's a big thing between introverts and extroverts and where your dopamine comes from.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: If you get excited about, oh, I get to spend the whole day by myself or you know, camping by yourself or something like that, away from the hustle and bustle of the city, then you definitely could be very much an introvert and experiencing burnout.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: So a lot of people, especially during like the panini, had to be Socially isolated and that kind of burnt the people out that were extroverts so that they kind of got into the birth depression state.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: So that could be a sign, not necessarily full-on depression.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: But if you get into a depressive, lower-energy state when you're in a, in a Place where you don't want to be, as far as like number of people around, then yeah, you, you know You'd swing one way or the other.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, so now we talked about, we talked about science and now we're gonna talk about different types.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: There are different types of introverts out there.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: So social introverts, let's see, like small groups and quiet settings, so anti-social, that's pretty funny.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, there's social introverts, like small groups are quiet settings, so that's skewing more towards the end and revert type thing.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: But yeah, if you, you know, probably, like I would say, small, like five or less people, if you have like five or less Friends that you see on a regular basis and you're good with that, that doesn't drain your energy too much, then Definitely good.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: And then also quiet.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Not a lot of, not a lot of introverts can handle loud noise situations.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: I kind of learned to do it, being more so of an ambervert that even if I'm in a very noisy area, like the gym or a club or something, I can go into my own little world, especially if I have, like, my headphones on or earbuds in.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: You can be in a crowd.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: You can be in a big old crowd, busy supermarket, but if you're not talking to anybody then you are you really interacting at all just because they see you and you see them.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: So there's, there's that part of it too.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Don't actually have to be physically alone, just kind of and individual, then island by yourself.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I let's see.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: And then we have next, we have thinking.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: So those are the daydreamers, spending a lot of time and thoughts in our creative.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: So I'm definitely one of those people.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: I will good have a good old daydream I'll be physically in a place, but mentally I'm gone.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: So especially that that definitely happens with like shower thoughts and stuff like that.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Or even if I'm just walking by myself and Could be crowded, could be a solo like hiking trip or something like that.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I'm definitely in my thoughts, 100% not even there.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: So I definitely Agree with the thinking one.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: And then you have the anxious.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: They seek alone time, often feel awkward or shy.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: So big thing which I'll talk about, it's introversion versus shyness.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Shyness is a feeling, whereas introvert Tism or being an introvert is a personality trait, so neither one of those you can really control.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: You can mitigate them a little bit.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: If you working want to work on your shyness, you can, but once again, you can't control your feelings.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: So that's one of those things.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: And per introvertism is Personality trait.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: So I was trying to do research where there a lot of people thought it was a nature versus nurture thing.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I'm definitely on the side of nature.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're born an introvert or born an extrovert.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: You can kind of mitigate it, just like with feelings.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: You can.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: You can work on a little bit, but you can't really change your baseline.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: So if you're drawing enter energy from being by yourself, then that's just where you're gonna get your energy from.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Now you can work on getting Better friends, I guess quote-unquote, I don't know how you would describe better, but being around more people that drain your energy less, I know that helps me a lot.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Like I said earlier, that being in a social group where I know most of the people I'm cool with them, they're okay that drains my energy a whole lot less than being around a bunch of new people.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Anytime there's a social situation where it's gonna be a bunch of new people and I don't know anybody there that definitely.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: I got to power up before I go.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: So I spent a couple days by myself powering up for that and working through my anxiety when it comes to that and then, you Know, some people get excited by that.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Those are the extroverts.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: So yeah, definitely want to point out, and I'll talk about it, like I said again, that Introversion versus shyness, two different things.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: One's a feeling, once a personality trait and then lastly, as far as types we have restrained or inhibited Think before they act, no decisions on the whim and take longer to do the action, whatever it is.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: So these are all different types, but I feel like I got a little bit of all this, especially the last three here.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Thinking before the act, I cannot make it.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: No man Can not explain enough, elaborate enough how much making a last minute decision is very stressful to me.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: So even if it seems like I just decided to do something, I Definitely thought about it way ahead, way before time.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: Someone argue probably this this dips into neuro divergence and not so much as personality trait of being an introvert, but once again, not very clear types here.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: There's still not a whole lot of studies done on on introvertism or extrovertism, which is really strange considering how much of a buzzword it is.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Now a lot of people know about it.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: But you know, keep just to keep it simple, just remember it's.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: You know where you get your energy from or where you drain your energy.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I think everybody's on agreement with that, even from the research I've done.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: And this is definitely not going to be the last Time I talk about this stuff.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: I'll talk about antravert, amber verts and extroverts as well, talking about the signs and the types.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: But yeah, this is, it's all down to energy.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: So in Even after that, I'll probably still talk about it years from now, still talking about all this as there's more research gotten.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to talk about this one because, like I said, I'm going through all my personality Identifiers and also it's such a buzzword.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Every man I should I can't say everybody a lot of p99 percent of people know what Myers Briggs is.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: There's still some people are running through that don't know what it is, which is kind of crazy to me.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: So talking about this stuff over and over again will hopefully help people and I pretty much Identifies an ambervert now and and that's not really a word that a lot of people know.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Everybody knows what extravert is.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: An introvert is.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: So ambivert is, I would say, like 40% of my type.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: There's not really too much extrovert in there, but it is a scale, it's a spectrum.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: You can slide up and down the scale as much as you see fit.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Just you know, check yourself and see where your energy is going.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: If that's the case, okay.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: So now, after talking about the types, like I said before, I'm going to talk about introversion versus shyness.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Introvert is a personality type.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: You're born with it.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: I'm a firm believer.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Is nature versus nurture.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I Guess there are some people.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Everybody has the big old T word, the big old trauma.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: So that could, that could change things a little bit.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: But definitely, man you, yeah, you got to beat that.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: I see not a certified therapist, so can't really comment on the trauma thing.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: But yeah, some some stuff happens that could get buried in there.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Definitely should work on that and see her seek a professional.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: But yeah, and then shyness is an emotion.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: So just because you feel shy, you do not have to use that as an identifier.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: This, that's an emotion.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: There's all the.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: All the clinicians agree on that.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: One people with degrees and certifications shyness is a feeling.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: You can work on mitigating that feeling.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: If you are a very shy person and nervous, that's another feeling as well.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: So we don't have to use that as identifiers.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Because you are shy at the moment Does not mean you can you have to forever be labeled as a shy person.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: So just want to make that clear once again.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: Please, oh man, if anything, if anything could change in modern society, please be that.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: Please stop using these terms that you don't quite understand what they mean as identifiers for yourself.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: It's because you are shy doesn't mean you have to be that way forever.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: You can work on this thing.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: And then, finally, this might be a little bit of short episode because, like I said, there's gonna be multiple series about this and gonna be talking about this for a long, long time.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: But Let me finish up with some common myths once again.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: The Theorists and the psychiatrists from back in the early 1900s like to say the bad things about introverts versus extroverts.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: I just want to say there's no judgment here.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: This is just a personality trait and either one is good nor bad.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: So if you feel like you are an introvert and that's a problem, just check with yourself.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: Make sure that it is a problem.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: Is it impeding your life to be an introvert?
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: If not, then go ahead and be an introvert.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: There's no problem being alone.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Everybody wants to make, say bad things and put down people that have no problem being by themselves.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: And I gotta say there's gonna.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: There's a lot more People like single and not getting married than there are before and choosing not to have kids and stuff like that.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: That's all on the rise worldwide.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: I still believe it on the internet, but I Know this me being hypocrite because I don't plan on getting married or having kids.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: So I'm right along, right there with everybody and I love by myself, solo, polly, here.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I have no problem being by myself, sitting here, talking to myself right now, into this microphone and Getting a bunch of pleasure from it.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: So it don't let people put you down because of a personality trait that you have.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: That's just how you're, how you were born.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, a lot of negativity towards introverts and I don't stand for it.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, just because that's how you were born.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: Putting people down just because of that?
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: So some common myths Unfriendly, usually More quiet and rather join in and, you know, like a conversation or something like that.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: So so because you're quiet doesn't mean you're unfriendly, and I would.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: I would just you know, I don't even stress Just a helpful tip for the introverts in there and just say something so people don't think you're nuts If you're too quiet for too long, that it comes off as creepy.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: That's one of the things that Creeps tend to do, so might not want to be Classified as that just because you don't say anything for a long, long time and being sociable and stuff like that.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Well, I'll try to do an episode about that as well.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: And also being creepy because a lot of people don't understand they're being creepy because of that.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: So just think about this for a second You're having a long conversation, yeah, they're not saying something, or you see somebody not saying something, but they're just there.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: That that just kind of creepy to some people.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: So I know I myself had to actually work on that because I had no problem just sitting there listening to people.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: But I just get too many times You're so quiet it's like, oh my god.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, I don't have the, I don't have the need to involve myself in everything you people talk about.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: I just want to sit here.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: I have no problem just sitting here and doing that.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: So that used to.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: That just drove me crazy.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: I don't know if any other introverts experience this, but people just say, oh, you're so quiet.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: It's like, yes, I'm quiet, I'm fine, I'm totally fine with that, but I just learned to say something at least, so people would Stop bugging me about that stuff.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: Unfortunately, I tend to be more sarcastic than not, but I had to work on that as well.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: But yeah, just just say something.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: So these, these myths are kind of tips for introverts out there, that that it is creepy.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: Okay, don't be a creepy.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Say something if you're just, you know, or let people know that that's how you are and you have no problem with like them talking for some reason.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: I just say, as a generality, extroverts have a problem.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: People just sit there and don't want to say anything.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Some of us just don't like to talk, don't have a.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: I have opinions, but I'll need to say them for every little thing that's going on.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, not, I'm not all of us need to process vocally.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: We can process internally and be just fine, but I know myself I Can save some energy in a social situation if I don't talk as much.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: I just sit there, observe and I don't know if I got a like a resting bitch face or something, a resting judgey face, but people just have issues with you just sitting there.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: So that could be why, because it is creepy.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Now I will say that I have no problem admitting that I would be very creepy, but not saying anything.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: So just a little tip for the introverts out there say something at least.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: Just just give a little Opinion real quick so they can you can throw them off your set.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Let's see here another common myth not leaders Listen, stay focused and less threatening.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: So apparently, if you listen, that doesn't make you a good leader, which is weird.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: And you tend to focus on the little things which I guess you supposed to delegate as a leader, and you're less threatening.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: So I guess too, what do you rule through?
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Fear?
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, these, these myths are horrible, horribly good myths.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: I don't even know what to say.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: But these myths are Good because a lot of people say it.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: But they're horrible because a lot of people say it.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so a little bit frustrating as an introvert that this, these labels get put on us like that Just because I like to listen, like good leaders should listen.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: So I'm in a terrible myth.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: That's out there, but a lot of people are saying it, so I know what to say is helpful there, because all these things are miss about Not being a good leader, but yet that's good to be.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Why would you want to be threatening to the people that are following you?
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: That makes no sense.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, I'm introvert would actually make a great leader.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Just got to power up that energy.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: You can talk to the big crowds and talk to the group or whatever.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: But yeah, just no, there's nothing wrong with listening to everybody's opinion and then making a decision first.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: So, in fact, great leaders, I would say I definitely probably don't want to take the charge.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a Definitely the thing of introverts or whatever not wanting to take charge unless Gotta look, got to look into that, see exactly where that falls into all the different things.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: But I know I'm definitely one.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I don't want to lead anything.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: But if people are doing it terribly, I definitely will step up and take the lead and then, let me know, take my time making decisions.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: But oh god, some people are just bad with it and then just take it.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: Maybe they're an extreme extrovert or something, I don't know.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: Definitely a very generic generality.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: Let's see here, okay.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: And then lastly, in the last minute, they're hard to know.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Deep friendships with small groups don't really do small talk.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: So small talk drains the energy For you extroverts out there and people that just like to talk in general and ask random questions.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: The small talk is horrible.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Why are we doing this?
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Let's just get to deep conversations.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: I don't want to know about what you think about the weather and all this other crap.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: And I definitely agree with the the deep friendships with small group of people.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: I don't need a million friends.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: I can't even remember a million names, barely remember five.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: So why would I want to be friends with everybody?
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: I know a lot of extroverts I know, like to say as strangers, is a friend I've never met before?
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: That sounds absolutely horrible.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: No, I don't want to know all these people.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Look why I'm not gonna remember your name anyway.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: I have told remembering names.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: I want to remember, like, think about that.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: So I'm not trying to meet everybody.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: You definitely have to stick around for a little bit for me to consider you a friend.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: So other introverts out there if this is something that you relate to, then you definitely you might be an introvert.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: If you have one or two really good friends and that's all you talk to.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, stop stop letting people shame you for these, for these things.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: I know I said these are myths but yeah, so many people just believe this stuff.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: It's like there's nothing wrong with that.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: If you want to have a deep conversation, don't want to do small talk.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: Just tell people to I.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe it's due to my age or whatever, just having seen it so much but, like a lot of people don't like small talk.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: So it's like alright, so let me, when you lose your virginity, let's just jump right into that.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: I don't really care where you work.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: I mean, I kind of want to know why, how you got into that, whatever you're doing.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: But if it's just something you did just for the money now and you know I'm good there so yeah, small talk is the devil horrible and that's just a myth that's out there for for introverts and it's terrible.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Let's get rid of that.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Okay, y'all heard on the regular episodes We've been doing a lot of myths, so I'm just gonna do some more myths about introverts next.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: I'll probably talk about extroverts in the next pillow fort session.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: Once again, this is H H Julius, kind of a quicker episode, you know close to like 30 minutes and kind of shorter.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: But I'm just gonna keep going through all the personality traits and identities that I have.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: So, as I said earlier, introvert, extrovert, sliding scale, so not a whole lot hitting on the extrovert for me, but I'm gonna talk about it because it's related to introvert when I don't know, maybe I do do it sometimes.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: It depends, it really depends, but I most of the time is just amber.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: That's as far as the scale goes, but how I'll I'll Might have forgotten, might have been very traumatic for me.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: I just completely blocked it out or something.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: But there's a moment there where Julius was an extrovert.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: But whatever, we'll see.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: Let me know if you like these.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: Please rate these episodes or all the episodes that you have on your apps and Spotify and iTunes and Amazon music, yada, yada, yada.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: No, no outro as of now.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: We'll see in the future if that works out.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: But pillow fort sessions For around the kinky campfire with a K, hopefully every first and third Thursdays, regular episodes every second and fourth Thursdays on all the different apps, and then you can join our Instagram campfire kinksters with a K's, with all the K's on Instagrams, as I said Round the kinky campfire with a K for that.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: Yahoo, if you want to send us some questions and all Solicitations and all that, gladly whore ourselves out for sponsorships.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: Just putting that out there.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: But for now that's it.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: Catch me next Thursday or the other bi-weekly Thursday, some point or whichever.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: This is HH Julius.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Let's see you later, hello.