Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 708: What Went Wrong? The Wizard Liz & Landon Breakup Explained

Transcript

Episode 708: What Went Wrong? The Wizard Liz & Landon Breakup Explained · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:01
  Hi, this is Lucia with Yard of Love.
• 0:02
  I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
• 0:05
  you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
• 0:09
  I don't usually comment on celebrity or influencer
• 0:13
  breakups. However, the breakup between the
• 0:17
  Wizard Liz and Landon has struck a nerve and it has scared, shall
• 0:26
  we say, a lot of women. So I feel I need to talk about
• 0:31
  this and what we can learn from the breakup.
• 0:35
  This isn't going to be about victim blaming or bashing, but
• 0:38
  rather how we can turn this seemingly negative situation
• 0:42
  into a positive that we can all learn from.
• 0:46
  So if you don't know the Wizard, Liz is an influencer who calls
• 0:52
  herself a life coach with millions of followers on both
• 0:55
  YouTube and TikTok. And her platform is built around
• 0:59
  self respect. And Landon is an influencer.
• 1:05
  So I'm going to explain what went wrong so that you don't end
• 1:09
  up in this situation. But first, I'd like to welcome
• 1:12
  back my beautiful no contact army.
• 1:14
  Have you been a good little soldier?
• 1:16
  Well, if you have, not only have you downloaded my app Silencio
• 1:19
  to help you stay in no contact, but you've also left a review
• 1:24
  and or a rating in the App Store or the Google Play.
• 1:28
  And if you would like to join our army, all you have to do is
• 1:31
  hit the subscribe button and the bell notification and you're in.
• 1:36
  And to read our manual, go to nocontactsecrets.com or you can
• 1:41
  read 2 free chapters before you purchase the book.
• 1:45
  OK, so there's a reason why there are certain dating rules,
• 1:50
  just as there are no contact rules because the rules are more
• 1:57
  likely to help you get your ex back when it comes to no
• 2:00
  contact. And with dating, you're more
• 2:03
  likely to have a successful partnership by following these
• 2:07
  rules. This is wisdom that has come
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  down through the ages as people have made mistakes.
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  And we figured out, you know what, this is probably what you
• 2:17
  should do in order to have a successful relationship.
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  And one of those rules is that you date someone for at least
• 2:26
  two years before you even think about getting engaged, never
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  mind having a baby. And that's because in two years,
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  that gives you enough time to get to know who you're really
• 2:41
  dealing with. If someone's wearing a mask,
• 2:43
  they can't wear it for two years.
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  It's going to slip off at some point.
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  That way you allow the honeymoon stage to pass, the limerence,
• 2:52
  the infatuation. You see them at their worst and
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  you decide, do I want to be here?
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  Is this the right person for me? And of course, vice versa for
• 3:00
  them. So that was the first mistake
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  because they met August of 24. It's now June of 25.
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  They haven't even been together a year and she's already four
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  months pregnant, so you don't know who you're dealing with
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  until at least a good two years have gone by.
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  But a lot of people seem to be in a rush and she's in her mid
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  20s. It's not like she needed to have
• 3:32
  a baby right away because the window opportunity was closing.
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  She's not 4545. OK, I can understand 25.
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  Plenty of time to have a baby. There's no need to rush into
• 3:44
  anything. You know the person that you
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  choose to marry or to have a long term relationship with if
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  you don't want to get married, is going to be the most
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  important decision you will ever make.
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  It's going to determine your lifestyle, your health, your
• 4:00
  mental health, your happiness, and your finances.
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  It's not a decision to be taken lightly, and it's certainly not
• 4:08
  a decision to be made under the influence of infatuation or
• 4:14
  limerance. If you're over 4550, OK, one
• 4:19
  year, fine. You're older, you should be
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  wiser, you should be able to discern, be more discerning
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  about who you're dating. But anything under that, no, you
• 4:28
  can't go wrong by following the two year rule.
• 4:31
  No one ever regretted going too slow, but a lot of people have
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  regretted going too fast and jumping in too quickly and then
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  finding out who they were really dealing with.
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  And I know there are probably going to be people in the
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  comments who are going to say, well, I know someone who was
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  married within three months, who was married within six months,
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  and they're still together. Well, first of all, there's
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  always going to be an exception to the rule, but that doesn't
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  mean that just because it worked for someone else, it's going to
• 5:03
  work for you or for the majority of people.
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  That's like saying, well, I know someone who jumped off a bridge
• 5:09
  and they lived. OK, well then go jump off a
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  bridge and let's see how that works out.
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  So don't use this excuse that you know someone who did not
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  follow the two year rule. And when did that happen?
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  Was it last year or was it 10 years ago?
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  20 years ago, 30 years ago? The dating landscape has changed
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  immensely in the last five years.
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  Even so, just because it worked in the past, it doesn't mean
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  it's still going to work today. Next, let's talk about love
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  bombing, because apparently Landon told Liz that he loved
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  her within 36 hours of meeting her in person.
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  So when you get love bombed, your ego wants to believe it
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  because your ego wants someone who will worship the ground you
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  walk on, who thinks that you're just the the most amazing person
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  in the world. And when someone says things
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  like I love you that early on, instead of being suspicious,
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  being concerned, and instead your ego's like, ah, yes,
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  finally, finally someone who sees the real me, someone who
• 6:24
  sees how amazing I am, someone who sees how worthy I have, I am
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  of their love. No, when someone says I love you
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  that quickly, don't be flattered.
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  Beware. And the phrase I love you is not
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  something that rolls off the tongue easily for most men.
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  Most men are not dying to say I love you.
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  If anything, they're trying to hold off on saying it as long as
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  possible because they know things are going to change.
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  The dynamic is going to change once they say that.
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  So you have to be suspicious of someone who's able to say it in
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  36 hours or even 36 days. That's still too soon.
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  At least two to three months have to pass before someone even
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  goes there. And even if he can say, oh,
• 7:18
  well, I was just joking, why would someone joke about
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  something like that? He wasn't joking.
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  He was love bombing. So how do we deal with a love
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  bomber? Well, there's a lot of responses
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  that you can give, and here's some of them.
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  You can say you're so cute when you lie, or you can say you're
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  so cute when you love bomb or get out of here.
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  Or you can just laugh. OK, Now if hearing those
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  responses scared you and you could never say any of those,
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  then you have an anxious attachment, attachment style and
• 8:01
  you're going to get played by a love bomber slash narcissist.
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  Because if you say I love you to someone with an avoidant
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  attachment style, they're going to be looking for the nearest
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  exit. They're going to be like, get me
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  the hell out of here. So you're going to get sucked in
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  by the love bombing and you're not going to want to use any of
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  those phrases. And as I said, you're going to
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  end up playing yourself. Love bombing rarely works on
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  someone with an avoidant attachment style.
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  It mostly works on people who are anxious.
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  And then finally, you may be saying, OK, how can I protect
• 8:43
  myself from someone like this in the future?
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  How can I ever trust anyone? Well, the good news is you don't
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  have to trust anyone. You have to trust yourself, you
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  have to trust that if you work on yourself to have a secure
• 8:56
  attachment style that when you see the red flags you'll leave
• 9:00
  sooner rather than later. Also, your intuition was given
• 9:06
  to you for a reason and not enough people are using it.
• 9:10
  My intuition has helped me in so many cases and in fact I once
• 9:14
  caught a guy cheating as a result of my intuition.
• 9:17
  I was 21. I was dating this guy, and he
• 9:20
  was out of town. And I started having these
• 9:23
  thoughts. It was the same thought every
• 9:25
  day, several times a day. Call Steve.
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  Call Steve. Now, this was the day before
• 9:31
  cell phones, so he only had the landline at home, and I wasn't
• 9:36
  gonna call him because he was out of town.
• 9:38
  And yet I kept having this recurring thought.
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  Call Steve. Call Steve.
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  To the point where I finally said, fine, I'll call Steve just
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  to stop this thought from popping into my head all day
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  every day. And what do you know who was at
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  Steve's house? A girl named Sean, who I had
• 9:57
  already suspected that something was going on and who he claimed
• 10:00
  was just a friend. Yeah.
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  So when he got back into town, I was supposed to take him out for
• 10:07
  his birthday to a fancy restaurant because he had taken
• 10:10
  me out for my birthday to a fancy restaurant.
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  And instead I took him to a coffee shop.
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  And I said, I know about Sean, so you got to make a choice.
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  It's either her or me, and you picked me.
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  So how do you develop your intuition?
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  The best way I know of is meditation.
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  Meditation helps to develop your intuition by quieting the mind,
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  enhancing self-awareness, and improving your ability to tune
• 10:37
  into subtle inner signals. You have to be tuned in in order
• 10:43
  to catch them, but you can't be tuned in if you have a lot of
• 10:46
  mental noise going on. So meditation helps to calm all
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  this chatter in your mind, and it makes it easier to recognize
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  intuitive insights that are often drowned out by
• 11:00
  overthinking or external distractions.
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  Your intuition is your best friend and your best defense in
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  life and definitely in dating. So in closing, I want to use a
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  quote from Doctor Laura who said choose wisely, treat nicely.
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  So if you don't choose wisely, it doesn't matter who you are.
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  It doesn't matter if you're an influencer with millions of
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  followers who talks about self respect, it's not going to work
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  out. You need to lay your foundation
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  on rock, not sand. Otherwise it's eventually going
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  to come crumbling down. So now I want to hear from you.
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  What are your thoughts on this situation?
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  Do you think she should take him back and give him one more
• 11:48
  chance since she's pregnant? And in the meantime, if you
• 11:52
  would like my help to get your ex back, you can contact me at
• 11:56
  theartoflove.net/coaching and we will send you the rates and the
• 12:01
  direct link to that is underneath every single video
• 12:03
  and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
• 12:06
  please like, subscribe and share.
• 12:09
  If you're listening to this as a podcast, I would appreciate if
• 12:12
  you would leave a rating and or a review.
• 12:15
  And finally, remember, love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
• 12:21
  enlightens.