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243. A Prisoner of Your Mind · Your Enriched Self

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Speaker 1: Hello, my friends from all across the globe, and welcome
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Speaker 1: to your Enriched Self podcast. I'm your host, Malein Nowir.
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Speaker 1: I am an emotional wellness and empowerment coach and what
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Speaker 1: that means is I want to stand in the gap
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Speaker 1: as your advocate. I know that you spend your days
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Speaker 1: and your life working, living, doing This is the opportunity
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Speaker 1: here on this podcast to spend time managing your thoughts.
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Speaker 1: And if I know who you are and if you
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Speaker 1: are listening to this podcast, I know that you want
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Speaker 1: to be the best version of you in this life.
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Speaker 1: And in order to do that, to become more of
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Speaker 1: your enriched self, it's to start with your thoughts. And
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Speaker 1: so that's what this podcast is all about, and I've
1:05
Speaker 1: curated the space with intention to ensure that you spend
1:09
Speaker 1: time managing your thoughts. Now, if you are new to
1:12
Speaker 1: this podcast, I want to welcome you and thank you
1:15
Speaker 1: for being here. I know that you are brought here
1:17
Speaker 1: on purpose, for a purpose. If you are a repeat
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Speaker 1: listener or someone who has been rocking with this podcast,
1:24
Speaker 1: we've been doing this for two hundred and forty three
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Speaker 1: episodes and that is because of you, your participation, you sharing,
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Speaker 1: you liking and you showing up each and every week
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Speaker 1: to become more of your enriched self. So from the
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Speaker 1: bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for that.
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Speaker 1: And now, if you know you know, one of the
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Speaker 1: things I do on this podcast each and every week
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Speaker 1: is I make a deposit into the bank of you,
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Speaker 1: and I do that by way of affirmations. Affirmations are
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Speaker 1: a great way to start your day and to come
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Speaker 1: and your mourning. And this week's affirmation is I am
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Speaker 1: not my thoughts. I choose what I focus on. I
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Speaker 1: am not my thoughts. I choose what I focus on.
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Speaker 1: I am not my thoughts. I choose what I focus on. Now,
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Speaker 1: let's get ready for this week's episode of the Your
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Speaker 1: Enriched Self Podcast. So last week we spoke about the
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Speaker 1: power of now. This week I want to jump into overthinking,
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Speaker 1: because it's time for you to free your mind so
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Speaker 1: that you are not a prisoner of your own mind.
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Speaker 1: And a lot of you out there are. You are
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Speaker 1: imprisoned by your thoughts. You are in a room where
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Speaker 1: it happens, but your mind is having replayed played out
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Speaker 1: conversations you're creating. I call it like the one hundred
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Speaker 1: thousand dollars worth of drama because you're over analyzing what
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Speaker 1: someone said, what someone did, what you have done, what
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Speaker 1: you have said, what you did, and it just becomes
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Speaker 1: a minutia of moments turned into mountains. And that is
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Speaker 1: your overthinking. So I want to bring all my overthinkers
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Speaker 1: up to the front because this episode is for you.
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Speaker 1: It's really for all of you, all of us, because
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Speaker 1: we've all been there where it's not just thinking. When
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Speaker 1: you're overthinking, it's not just lie of thinking. It's being trapped.
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Speaker 1: It's a trapped it's a booby trap in your thoughts.
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Speaker 1: You become a prisoner of your mind. So it's not
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Speaker 1: that you're making a listen, checking it twice and going
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Speaker 1: through it. Is you becoming almost obsessed with the thoughts
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Speaker 1: that are trapped in your mind. And this is how
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Speaker 1: I want you to understand how this is framed, because
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Speaker 1: for a lot of you, you think, well, I just
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Speaker 1: want to be overly cautious and I want to think
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Speaker 1: through all the things. I challenge you that you're not living.
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Speaker 1: You're not living, you're not experiencing the fullness of life
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Speaker 1: when you do it this way, when you keep the
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Speaker 1: habit of overthinking, because it is a habit. If you're
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Speaker 1: an overthinker, you have developed a habit. And I need
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Speaker 1: you to understand that there are people living a similar experience,
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Speaker 1: if not the identical experience that you are living, and
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Speaker 1: they're going through life very differently. And that's what I
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Speaker 1: want to spend today helping you to see these real
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Speaker 1: world examples out there in a while, out there in
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Speaker 1: the real world, when you are faced with a thing, overthinkers,
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Speaker 1: you view life a very different way from a person
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Speaker 1: who's faced with the exact same thing. And this is
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Speaker 1: where you have the opportunity to break the habit and
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Speaker 1: break out of the prison of your mind. I'll give
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Speaker 1: you a simple example. A text message. We've all been there,
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Speaker 1: We've all done that, whether you're on the sending end
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Speaker 1: or the receiving end. Let's pretend for this example, you
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Speaker 1: are on the receiving end. Right. For example, here's the
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Speaker 1: situation you sent a friend or a person a text message.
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Speaker 1: Now ours have gone by and you've gotten no respects
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Speaker 1: Now here's the mind and the framework of an overthinker.
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Speaker 1: Did I do something wrong? Are they ignoring me? I
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Speaker 1: see that they read it, but they're ignoring me. You
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Speaker 1: know what, maybe they don't like me. So now they're
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Speaker 1: looking at the time stamps, checking the stories, creating stories
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Speaker 1: about what this person who has not provided a response,
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Speaker 1: So you don't know what they're thinking. But now you're
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Speaker 1: creating thoughts and ideas that that person might have about you.
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Speaker 1: And guess what happens from there? Your mood shifts. You
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Speaker 1: start to pack on anxiety, in security walks in the
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Speaker 1: room as well, and frustration has just joined the chat.
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Speaker 1: All of this is happening in your world. In a
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Speaker 1: separate world where the exact same scenario exists, this person
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Speaker 1: who is not an overthinker. They're living in the present,
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Speaker 1: so that means they're grounded. They're here there now, they
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Speaker 1: are in the power of now send the message. It's
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Speaker 1: been ours in their mind. They think, well, they'll probably
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Speaker 1: respond when they have a moment. They continue along their
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Speaker 1: day and they focus on what's in front of them.
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Speaker 1: Are you seeing the difference? Are you feeling the difference
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Speaker 1: between the two, because it is an exercise where you
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Speaker 1: actually go through a range of emotions when you're overthinking,
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Speaker 1: including frustration and anxiety and insecurity and all these things
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Speaker 1: things that are not necessary, not helpful, and it certainly
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Speaker 1: slows your day down. The other person moves on with
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Speaker 1: their day. They've already said it in their mind that
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Speaker 1: this person may be busy. I catch up with them later.
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Speaker 1: There are no stories being created, because in fact, you're
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Speaker 1: creating a story that does not exist. Okay, let me
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Speaker 1: get you're starting to see the examples. I'm gonna give you.
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Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you another one. Feedback at work, everybody's
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Speaker 1: been there. Your manager says, you know what, we're working
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Speaker 1: on this project, let's revisit it and make some changes.
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Speaker 1: I'm going through that right now, and I'm walking through
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Speaker 1: multiple chains of management. So I'm getting feedback from my manager,
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Speaker 1: and he's getting feedback from his manager, and so on
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Speaker 1: and so forth. So I'm living this moment right now,
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Speaker 1: right So here's how an overthinker experiences this very same
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Speaker 1: thing that I'm walking through right now. Oh my gosh,
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Speaker 1: I am not good at this. They must be really
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Speaker 1: disappointed in me. What if they take me off this project?
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Speaker 1: What if I lose the opportunity. They begin to spiral
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Speaker 1: into self doubt. Self doubt answers the chat, hesitation enters,
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Speaker 1: the chat, and the worst of them all is procrastination
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Speaker 1: because they're now immobilized. They're afraid to take a step
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Speaker 1: forward because if they take a step forward and do something,
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Speaker 1: it may not be what is like, what is the appeal?
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Speaker 1: What is the desire of the manager? And therefore they
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Speaker 1: don't want to be rejected, so they just procrastinate and
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Speaker 1: do nothing at all. So they are stalled. Now this
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Speaker 1: is what a person like me. And it took me
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Speaker 1: a while to get to the point. You know, I
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Speaker 1: used to overthink things. Oh my gosh, I remember the days.
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Speaker 1: But now having this very same experience and again I
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Speaker 1: am living that right now, manager says, hey, let's revisit
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Speaker 1: and make some improvement. Let's make some changes on this project,
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Speaker 1: this presentation, whatever. Here's my thought process, got it? What
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Speaker 1: are you thinking of? What needs to make? Can make
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Speaker 1: this better? What am I missing from this? I start
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Speaker 1: writing notes, my computer type in a way. I'm making
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Speaker 1: the adjustments. Now I can move forward. I can take
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Speaker 1: a step. I can do some things. I can make
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Speaker 1: some additions. I can do some subtractions. I got clarity
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Speaker 1: in what it is my leader wants and how it
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Speaker 1: is we want to portray that messaging. I have what
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Speaker 1: I need to go forward and make some changes the
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Speaker 1: difference again, one person creates a whole slew of problems.
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Speaker 1: One person decides that they don't do things right. One
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Speaker 1: person feels like they've disappointed people. The other person says, hey,
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Speaker 1: how can we do this? I got it, got you,
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Speaker 1: Let's get it done. What do we need to do?
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Speaker 1: Let's add this, Okay, let's take that out. Okay, great,
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Speaker 1: I'll get that done. I'll get that sent over to you. Movement, movement,
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Speaker 1: there's a solved issue, and there's an unsolved or as
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Speaker 1: a matter of fact, there's a problem that's created, and
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Speaker 1: then we've solved the opportunity, we've solved the gap. Okay,
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Speaker 1: let's do another one, because I really want to paint
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Speaker 1: the picture for my overthinkers who believe that they're maintaining
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Speaker 1: contry by going through all the different possible scenarios, none
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Speaker 1: of which has happened, and quite frankly, ever happens because
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Speaker 1: if you go back through the history of what an
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Speaker 1: overthinker created as the stories, nine times out of ten
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Speaker 1: or sometimes ten times out of ten, none of those
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Speaker 1: stories became a reality. They were absolutely fabrications of their mind,
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Speaker 1: which leaves them as a prisoner of their mind. Okay,
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Speaker 1: let's try one more of these, because I think we're
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Speaker 1: getting somewhere. I think we're starting to see how clear
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Speaker 1: a difference it is when you are present and intentional,
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Speaker 1: when you are present and grounded, like the person that's like, wait,
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Speaker 1: that person's gonna give back to me when they can
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Speaker 1: get back to me. And here's an example of someone
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Speaker 1: who overthinks and in comparison to the person who is
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Speaker 1: present and detached. Okay, so here is the situation. I
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Speaker 1: love these, These are really really good examples. The situation
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Speaker 1: on this one is is a social interaction. Okay, consider
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Speaker 1: you leave a gathering. You are in a social scene,
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Speaker 1: and you leave the scene. Okay, the overthinker is replaying
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Speaker 1: every conversation that happened that evening, that event, that networking whatever.
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Speaker 1: Why did I say that? Oh my gosh, I must
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Speaker 1: have sounded so weird. Oh my gosh. They must have
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Speaker 1: been judging me all. Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing.
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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I don't even think I should have
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Speaker 1: gone to this event. I know I should have stayed home.
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Speaker 1: This is oh my gosh. Oh you hear the frustration.
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Speaker 1: There's emotion in all of this, right, they're replaying their thoughts,
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Speaker 1: they're replaying their words, they're replaying how they look, what
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Speaker 1: people think about them. Yes, they focus so much on
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Speaker 1: what people think. Here's the person that is present and
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Speaker 1: now detached because they just left that social scene. Oh
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Speaker 1: that was a good time, So glad I got to
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Speaker 1: meet up with X person, Y person. It was good
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Speaker 1: to meet that person, never met them before. They're gone,
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Speaker 1: They leave the moment where it happens. They move on,
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Speaker 1: and they no longer replay the event. They have the
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Speaker 1: they realized they were at an event, they enjoyed it,
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Speaker 1: they were present, they met some people, they liked what
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Speaker 1: they experienced. They left, while one person is reliving the
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Speaker 1: experience twenty times over and not good experiences. All of
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Speaker 1: the negativity, all of the radical emotions, all of the
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Speaker 1: what the people think about me? How where did I
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Speaker 1: look or seem or act or say, while the other
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Speaker 1: person lived it and now is going moving on next thing,
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Speaker 1: probably going home and eating the sandwich and chilling on
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Speaker 1: the couch. Yeah, that unbothered by this social scene. Okay,
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Speaker 1: I'll do one more because I think there is some
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Speaker 1: great opportunity in this, especially when someone is approaching the
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Speaker 1: possibility of growing. And I really want overthinkers to pay
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Speaker 1: attention to this scenario because this is an opportunity where
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Speaker 1: you are in a growth space. It could be that
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Speaker 1: you have an idea for something new that you want
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Speaker 1: to do, you want to pursue. Perhaps it's a business,
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Speaker 1: maybe it is a fitness goal or some new routine
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Speaker 1: that you want to bring into your your day to
16:26
Speaker 1: day you know, work life, or your day to day
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Speaker 1: just your casual life. Okay, so you have an idea,
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Speaker 1: there's something new that you want to pursue, and this
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Speaker 1: is how the overthinker process. The person overthinking is processing this.
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Speaker 1: What if this doesn't work? Oh my gosh, what if
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Speaker 1: I fail? Okay, wait wait, wait, wait wait, I need
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Speaker 1: to plan more. I need to plan more. I need
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Speaker 1: to plan more. And then they get what I call stuck,
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Speaker 1: stuck in a rut of in action, meaning no action
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Speaker 1: has taken place because they're still planning. They're afraid of
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Speaker 1: failure or they're focused on failure, and they're also focused
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Speaker 1: on this thing never working at all. These are their
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Speaker 1: focal points. Person B says, or the person that is
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Speaker 1: present and action oriented. They're just gonna take action. They're
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Speaker 1: present now and they're gonna do something. They're gonna say,
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Speaker 1: you know what, I'm going to try this thing. Let
17:36
Speaker 1: me start small, and they learn through the doing. I
17:43
Speaker 1: had a coach that would say that the clarity is
17:47
Speaker 1: in the doing, the learning is in the doing, the
17:51
Speaker 1: knowing is in the doing. You're not gonna know sitting
17:54
Speaker 1: off the side, off to the sidelines. You're gonna get
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Speaker 1: to know more about it. You're gonna get to receive
18:00
Speaker 1: more clarity about it when you are actually doing it.
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Speaker 1: You are gonna have more opportunities at hitting the basket.
18:14
Speaker 1: This is a basketball reference. You get more free throws
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Speaker 1: when you take more shots. You're not gonna get any
18:22
Speaker 1: shots or any points if you don't take any shots.
18:26
Speaker 1: You gotta take the shots. So you're willing to try,
18:29
Speaker 1: even though you may not land the basket, the ball
18:32
Speaker 1: may not go into the hoop, but you're going to
18:34
Speaker 1: try because the more tries you have, the more opportunities
18:38
Speaker 1: you have to score points. And I talk about starting
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Speaker 1: small all the time. I've developed a consistent workout routine
18:50
Speaker 1: and oftentimes when people ask me, oh my god, you're
18:53
Speaker 1: so consistent. You get up every day you've been doing
18:56
Speaker 1: this for a while. It is now a lifestyle. It
18:58
Speaker 1: indeed is for me, and I always say start small.
19:01
Speaker 1: I never tell people go five days a week to
19:04
Speaker 1: start off. Sometimes I go six days a week. I
19:06
Speaker 1: never tell someone to go six days a week. I
19:09
Speaker 1: tell that person that is asking me or inquiring what
19:12
Speaker 1: do I do? I say, start small. Start by walking.
19:16
Speaker 1: Do things that are simple, easy, and minimize any friction
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Speaker 1: to get started. I talk about this, and I've said
19:25
Speaker 1: this before on other episodes. One of the things I
19:27
Speaker 1: do the night before my workout morning, I set out
19:32
Speaker 1: what it is I'm gonna wear, because if I have
19:35
Speaker 1: to get up in the morning early, with some days,
19:37
Speaker 1: I can do it with the alarm. Some days I
19:40
Speaker 1: don't need the alarm, But there are some days that
19:43
Speaker 1: I need the alarm and I need help, and I
19:46
Speaker 1: have to self talk my way out of bed. I
19:50
Speaker 1: set my clothes out so I can remove any friction
19:55
Speaker 1: when I wake up. When I wake up, I know
19:56
Speaker 1: that I can go brush my teeth, and I can
19:59
Speaker 1: wash my face, and I can put on my work
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Speaker 1: I closed and I can get out the door. If
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Speaker 1: I have to think about where things are and what's
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Speaker 1: happening where I'm going to find a cop out and
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Speaker 1: I'm going to minimize my opportunities to be present and
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Speaker 1: to go try. So that's how I build momentum as
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Speaker 1: opposed to the overthinker who is stuck in a thought.
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Speaker 1: And the idea of today's episode and conversation is to
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Speaker 1: get you unstuck, is to help you break out of
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Speaker 1: the prison of your own mind. I hope you realize
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Speaker 1: that overthinking is not harmless. It is actually very harmful.
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Speaker 1: It creates problems that don't exist. It replaces things. Think
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Speaker 1: about the social scene we talked about that can't be changed,
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Speaker 1: and then there's delay upon delay upon delay. And if
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Speaker 1: you only took action, you could change everything, but you
21:12
Speaker 1: spend more time and delay. Think about it like this.
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Speaker 1: Your mind is your greatest asset. Think about the person
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Speaker 1: who was present and grounded and present and action oriented
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Speaker 1: and present and detached. For them, the mind was a
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Speaker 1: great asset. For the other individual who overthinks, your mind
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Speaker 1: can become your liability. You're not stuck because of the situation.
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Speaker 1: Think about the situations I presented. The situations were identical,
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Speaker 1: so it was not the situation that had the individual stuck.
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Speaker 1: It was the way they were thinking about it. One
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Speaker 1: was stuck in a loop of continuous checks and balances, misconceptions,
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Speaker 1: fraudulent stories, and emotions that were moving at the speed
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Speaker 1: of light with no action, while the other was taken
22:31
Speaker 1: action and moving forward overthinking I can't stress this enough
22:40
Speaker 1: is going to put you in that continuous cycle of
22:43
Speaker 1: living moment and then living that moment again and then again,
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Speaker 1: and there is no forward movement in that process. The
22:57
Speaker 1: clarity doesn't come from thinking about it more. The clarity
23:00
Speaker 1: comes from being present and taken action. The clarity comes
23:05
Speaker 1: from the doing. So. The next time you catch yourself spiraling,
23:13
Speaker 1: pause and ask is this helping me? Or is this
23:20
Speaker 1: holding me back? I hope you enjoyed this week's episode
23:33
Speaker 1: of the Urine Ritsub podcast. And the only way I'm
23:36
Speaker 1: gonna know this is if you leave me some feedback.
23:38
Speaker 1: Feedback is a gift and it is free to give,
23:41
Speaker 1: and I would like to hear from you. I would
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Speaker 1: like to know what resonated with you regarding this week's episode.
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Speaker 1: Now here's how you leave feedback on the platform in
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Speaker 1: which you listen to this podcast. Follow the stars when
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23:56
Speaker 1: all seriousness, when you get there, you can share your
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Speaker 1: in the social streets what you're listening to and what's
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Speaker 1: feeding you mind, body and spirit. I also want you
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Speaker 1: to check out the show notes. In the show notes,
24:59
Speaker 1: we have the affirmation of the week, the quote of
25:01
Speaker 1: the week, and there you can also find my Amazon
25:06
Speaker 1: shop that your rich self shop has two items right
25:10
Speaker 1: now a journal, which is the Show Up Every Day
25:14
Speaker 1: Journal as well as the Show Up Everyday Notebook, so
25:18
Speaker 1: check those out in my Amazon shops. And finally, take
25:21
Speaker 1: what you can from this episode and do what you
25:24
Speaker 1: must in the next one hundred and sixty eight hours
25:28
Speaker 1: so that you can become more of your enriched self
25:33
Speaker 1: until we meet again.