Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap PODCAST: Carbon Negative

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Phone Tap PODCAST: Carbon Negative · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

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  Speaker 1: One eight hundred d ui Away now offering free remote
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  Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
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  Speaker 1: Trust Brooke, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
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  Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred d
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  Speaker 1: Uyowa dot com or call eight hundred away. All right,
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  Speaker 1: it's time for your phone tap, and today we call
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  Speaker 1: a woman who manages a team of employees at her company.
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  Speaker 1: And even though her subordinates all like her, they say
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  Speaker 1: she can sometimes get a little frantic when she's dealing
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  Speaker 1: with stressful situations. That's perfect for us, because we're experts
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  Speaker 1: at stressing people out for no reason. So that's exactly
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  Speaker 1: what we're going to try to do in your brand
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  Speaker 1: new phone tap right now on the twenties, I'm moving
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  Speaker 1: point five. Hello, Hi, this is Brandon calling from up
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  Speaker 1: here at Corporate HR. Is this Kara? Oh Hi, Yes,
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  Speaker 1: this Kara. I don't think we've ever met before. It's
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  Speaker 1: nice to meet you. Oh yeah, pleasure. What can I
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  Speaker 1: do for you? The reason for my call is that
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  Speaker 1: we didn't employee survey not too long ago, asking everyone
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  Speaker 1: what they value most, not just in the workplace, but
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  Speaker 1: in life, remember that? Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah, And
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  Speaker 1: so our surveys showed that our employees are really passionate
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  Speaker 1: about saving the environment. Yeah no, I thought that was great. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I care about things beyond themselves. Well, super, because we're
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  Speaker 1: planning to have our entire company go carbon negative by
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  Speaker 1: the end of next year. Wow, yeah, next year, that's right.
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  Speaker 1: How obviously it's going to be a big job. We're
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  Speaker 1: all going to have to work together on this, Okay.
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  Speaker 1: That's why, starting on Monday, we'll be replacing all the
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  Speaker 1: computers in the office with cyclotrons. I'm sorry, what you
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  Speaker 1: don't know? Cyclotrons. I don't know what you're talking about.
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  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. There's cyclepowered computers, no carbon footprint. Amazing, Are
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  Speaker 1: you serious? Yeah, I'm gonna have to cycle every time
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  Speaker 1: they want their computer to work. Yeah, your workers are
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  Speaker 1: gonna have to peddle their little hearts out if they
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  Speaker 1: want to finish their spreadsheets on time, and for some
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  Speaker 1: reason they stop whoop, computer turns off. Okay, I think
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  Speaker 1: the environment we have to protect, but that just sounds
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  Speaker 1: a little crazy to me. I mean, I don't know,
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  Speaker 1: of all if my employees actually beginning of MICA voices
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  Speaker 1: could be cycling that long. Well, I know it's tough,
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  Speaker 1: but if we want to save the environment, we all
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  Speaker 1: have to work together. No power dream. Yeah, but that's
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  Speaker 1: quite a challenge, but it's a challenge that we can win.
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  Speaker 1: And that's not even including your new monitors that everyone
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  Speaker 1: will be receiving. They're called sunscreens. Sunscreens, yeah, all solar powered.
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  Speaker 1: But what if you're not near the sun? I mean,
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  Speaker 1: people who don't have their window that Well, we thought
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  Speaker 1: of that. And if your screen starts to get a
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  Speaker 1: little dim, starts to lose its brightness, just grab it,
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  Speaker 1: scoot on over near the window, soak up a few
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  Speaker 1: rays and then good to go. I don't think this
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  Speaker 1: is going to work. This sounds a little out there
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  Speaker 1: for me. Okay, sensing you're a little hesitant here, Kara.
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  Speaker 1: Do you hate the environment? No? No, no, literally hate
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  Speaker 1: the environment. But it's just you want all the polar
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  Speaker 1: bears to die. Who but you're gonna have a lot
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  Speaker 1: of people that are very upset, I mean people quitting
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  Speaker 1: over this. I mean I might love good if they quit.
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  Speaker 1: We don't need them. We don't need people that don't
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  Speaker 1: want to save the environment, right, I mean you can't
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  Speaker 1: make a jump like this. You can't both look. Maybe
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  Speaker 1: have us recycle more or something darth there by having
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  Speaker 1: people cycle all day. We'll hold on there because not
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  Speaker 1: everything's about cycling constantly and working hard. One of our
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  Speaker 1: first options was to get rid of the air conditioning
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  Speaker 1: system in the building. Why, because that's a giant power suck.
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  Speaker 1: You're going to get rid of the air conditioning No,
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  Speaker 1: we were going to do that, But instead we're going
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  Speaker 1: to be replacing our entire air conditioning system with one
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  Speaker 1: that's fueled with vegetable oil. And what the heck does
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  Speaker 1: that mean? Well, we already made a deal with a
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  Speaker 1: local burger shop and they're willing to give us their
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  Speaker 1: leftover grease for free. Hamburger grease being pumped through our
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  Speaker 1: office is doesn't that sound wonderful? No? No, it'll burgers
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  Speaker 1: and fries wafting through the office as you type away.
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  Speaker 1: No negative, you can't. I'm having a hard time here.
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  Speaker 1: I'm having a really hard time. Okay, I can tell
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  Speaker 1: you're having a hard time, all right, But I never
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  Speaker 1: said that going green was gonna be easy. But your
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  Speaker 1: torture talking about is impossible. You would rather see the
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  Speaker 1: world's burn, of course not. But we can call eggs
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  Speaker 1: on and just dump a bunch of oil into the
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  Speaker 1: ocean if that's what you'd prefer. A little ridiculous, you know,
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  Speaker 1: you're going on a little too far in the other direction. Okay, fine,
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  Speaker 1: I'm giving up here. If you won't do it, then
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  Speaker 1: maybe I should just tell you this is a phone prank.
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  Speaker 1: You win, all right? The earth is dead. Look, I'm
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  Speaker 1: not saying you can't do certain policy ships all right, Karried.
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  Speaker 1: Did you hear what I was saying. You were saying
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  Speaker 1: that fine, that you were going to give up. No,
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  Speaker 1: I'm saying it's a prank. Call. My name's actually jeff
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  Speaker 1: from the radio show Broken Jeffrey in the Morning, and
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  Speaker 1: we're doing a phone tap on you. It's a joke,
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  Speaker 1: the whole thing. I made it all up. Your coworker,
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  Speaker 1: Nina set you up for a prank because she's gonna
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  Speaker 1: quit next week and she wanted to leave you with
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  Speaker 1: a funny memory of her. Oh thank John, you're not here.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I worried. It's okay, it's okay. You
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  Speaker 1: don't have to exercise at all. No exercise, okay, you
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  Speaker 1: could just sit back and eat a bunch of oily chips.
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  Speaker 1: I care, I do care about the environment, but this
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  Speaker 1: is crazy. I a thought I was gonna get fired.
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  Speaker 1: You want to start a fire, that's a good idea. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: let's burn it down.