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Your words are doing something to you · insyed; cozy psychology

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  Welcome back to INSyed, I'm Syed and every week
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  I take real academic research and bring it closer
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  to the life you're actually living. Like a journal
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  entry that did its homework, let's take a peek
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  INSyed. Sonder. The feeling you get when you
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  realize that every other person you've seen in
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  life has a life as full and as real as your own.
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  Whereas they are the central character while
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  everyone else, including you, has a secondary
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  or insignificant role. You may have heard of
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  that word or may have not, but I want you to
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  think about how it made you feel, how it sounds,
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  the texture of it all. Now, what do you sound
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  like when you're angry? What about when you're
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  sad? Your voice carries a weight heavier than
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  you can imagine. It doesn't just express your
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  emotions, it creates them. Like how rain doesn't
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  signal a storm, but it is the storm. A group
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  of researchers wanted to map the human voice
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  across emotion. When I came across it, I couldn't
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  help but ask a question they never intended to
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  answer. Researchers gathered 2 ,080 vocal bursts
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  from 56 people from 4 different countries. They
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  then had more than 1 ,000 English speakers rate
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  them. What they ended up with was a web of 24
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  different dimensions of sounds and emotions,
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  ranging from how much they conveyed distress,
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  to how much they signaled awe. You can find a
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  link to their website in the show notes and listen
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  for yourself. It's pretty beautiful and fun seeing
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  where each of these vocal bursts, some of if
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  not most of which you've also made in your life,
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  gets placed in the sea of emotions. See for yourself
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  if you agree with where they're placed. But as
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  I was listening, I began to reflect. When I speak,
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  does my voice, or better yet, my words decide
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  where I am in this web. We'll take a short break
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  here. Why don't you sit with that for a moment?
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  Welcome back. On a personal note, over the past
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  year, I've chosen to cut some words from my vocabulary,
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  both internally and externally. And what I've
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  come to realize is that by taking away an expression,
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  we'll have a much harder time feeling it. There's
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  the James Lange theory of emotion, which says
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  that We don't cry because we're sad. We're sad
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  because we cry. By letting the swears and cusses
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  of profanity go, it gave me a moment to pause,
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  a moment to breathe in what would normally be
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  impulse or outlash. It made me realize that if
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  out of sight, out of mind really is true, then
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  I suggest that the way we say is truly the way
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  we do. If a thousand people can map 24 distinct
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  emotions from a single wordless sound, imagine
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  what a lifetime of chosen words does to your
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  inner world. The study shows you and I are exceptionally
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  sensitive to emotional sound, and we hear everything.
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  The loudest voice you'll ever hear is the one
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  inside your head. So take inventory of your vocab.
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  Does your mind only speak in fire and brimstone?
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  Or does it speak with the same grace and kindness
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  a bee gives when it nests on a flower? A great
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  way to learn is to read. Whether if it's articles
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  or poetry, building our vocabulary lets us better
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  be aware of what we say. Remember how Sonder
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  felt when you first heard it? You didn't experience
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  anything new, but the word gave you somewhere
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  to put that feeling. That's the power of language.
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  It does more than describe. It builds. So find
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  your Sonder. A word in your language, any language,
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  that means something good. Say it until it's
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  truly yours. And that brings us to the end of
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  this week's inside. Thank you for spending your
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  time here. If something today stayed with you,
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  the best way you can support is to share it with
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  someone it may reach. You can also follow the
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  show wherever you listen. And if you have a moment,
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  leaving a review genuinely helps more people
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  find us. Until next week, remember that there's
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  always more INsyed.