Latest / Motherhood Alliance Podcast / Mastering the Mental Side of Nutrition w/ Maria Bearson | Bearson Fit
Transcript
- Britney: Hello everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. This is Drea and Britt with motherhoodalliance.com and we are excited to welcome Maria Bearson to the podcast. She is a certified online functional health coach, a nutrition coach and the founder of Bearson Fit, where she helps women lose fat, build strength and create sustainable habits that fit into real life. Maria is known for taking a practical, tailored approach to coaching, combining evidence-based nutrition, mindset work and strength training to help women feel strong and confident without extreme dieting. Hey everyone, welcome to episode three with Maria. Maria, we're excited to have you back. Maria: Thanks for having me. Britney: In our first two episodes, you covered your story in episode one and how you were a bodybuilding pro. And then after that, you gained some weight after that experience. And then you really had to have a lot of mindset shifts to be able to get back into a place where you love yourself and your body and all this stuff. And so your story was incredibly important, I feel like to this conversation and in so many people being able to relate to their experiences. They may not be bodybuilding pros, but they may have. Maria got into the field after experiencing firsthand how confusing and extreme the fitness industry can be. I'm really excited about diving into this in episode one. So make sure you check out that episode. She became passionate about simplifying the process and teaching women how to fuel their bodies properly, move their bodies with intention and develop a healthy mindset around food. Maria is a wife and mom of two young kids. So she understands the challenges of balancing motherhood, business and personal health and wellness. gone up and down on their weight and it can be a major struggle boss. think especially for women in this society. So if you have not listened to that episode, go ahead and head back to episode number one. And then in our last episode, we really focused a lot more on weight loss, but we talked so much about mindset. I feel like that's really intertwined into everything we've discussed so far, whether it's your own experiences or just weight loss, the mindset that comes with it. In our last episode, you were like, And outside of coaching, she loves strength training, spending time outdoors with her family, running the mom walk collective events and living the fun, but balanced lifestyle she teaches. We are so excited for you guys to learn from Maria today. 60 % of the entire success of the journey is going to be around mindset, right? And I know we were just kind of, that's not a scientific number, but just kind of ballparking the number. So we wanted to have an entire episode dedicated to this topic because I really think that it is so important in somebody's journey and being successful. And so how do you feel like... The combination of society, and let's just talk specifically to women for now, but the combination of what the pressures that society puts on us, along with our experiences of going up and down in our weight, whether it's from pregnancy from dieting or just other things, how do you feel like that really intertwines with our identity? And not only that, but really like our nervous system as a whole. Maria: Yeah, it's one of those things that it can be very sad when we talk about the societal pressures. I mean, we just think about we open up our phone and we go and we're scrolling on social media and we see filtered images of people that are just these perfect images of other people. And we're just constantly playing this comparison game of what they have and what we don't. it just, it makes us feel inadequate. And I, think in addition to that, just ⁓ the need to do more, be more, way less, in just like ⁓ be, always dieting, you know, we're always getting these messages out there about what we need to be doing. and, how we need to look, I mean, whether it's like a billboard or Anything else and everybody is talking about dieting especially right now in this day and age with the world of GLP ones I have so many clients that come to me that are like I wish I could just lose weight even faster and I'm like you've lost 30 pounds right and but it's like this new it's a whole new thing about ⁓ the need to to be dieting and to weigh less and Britney: Ugh. Maria: Yeah, it's this constant state of, again, perfection too. Britney: In your programming, what do you think about with mantras? Like the whole I am fill in the blank. Is that something that you have found helpful in coaching or is that something that is kind of cliche and people don't, you know, it doesn't really mean much to people? How do you kind of get those types of mantras to actually embed into their heads instead of just something that they're saying? Maria: Yeah. And here's the thing is like with mantras too is you don't necessarily need to believe it right away to when you are saying it. You might not believe that. I mean, when we get really down to the core of things, I ⁓ I am ⁓ It matter what it is. But yes, I do think that mantras are ⁓ so, helpful. ⁓ of ⁓ or not you believe it yet. there is some research around being able to change your neural pathways in your brain, but you have to constantly work at it. It's the same thing, not to talk to or like go too much into it, but like when we practice gratitude is I am grateful for ⁓ whatever it It allows us to ⁓ think more naturally versus what our natural tendency is, and this is embedded within us because it's a survival mechanism, is to think negatively and to think like, what are they thinking of us? in its, know, you want to be part of the society and you want to be liked and all these things. But when we can practice gratitude and shift our mindset in that way to, it really allows us to put lives into perspective and to again, more naturally think positively. Britney: So what are some other types of language shifts that would be helpful other than some mantras? Maria: Yeah, well, let's talk about from a nutrition perspective. big one ⁓ be if you are, if you are working on, reducing the amount of sweets that you have in your diet, saying, I can't have that. I can't have that. That is not a great strategy because it is, it lives the restrictive mindset versus saying something like, I'm choosing not to have that right now. And it gives instead of that thing, having the power is giving you the power to say, it's actually my choice whether or not I want it. And I'm choosing not to have it. And it's just little small tweaks in languages in your language that can help so, so much. And it feels less and ⁓ easier to stick with when you when the power, you realize that you are the one that's in control. Britney: Yeah, I love that so much. Are there any other easy ones like that that come to mind that would help? Because I feel like that's so impactful for people where they can just look at food differently. Maria: Yeah, well say like they're feeling guilty for having for having something say that they did have a moment where they're like, ⁓ my gosh, I just ate that entire donut. They're like, ⁓ I'm I'm a bad person. I'm I'm awful. I can't ever stick to my diet. Right. And that's this is their what they're thinking in their head. And instead of that saying, you know what, that was a really good opportunity for me and that wasn't aligned with my goals. Like next time, this is what I'm going to do. And instead of focusing on what happened, focusing on what you can do about it next time and because oftentimes it's not as bad as what we make it out to be in our heads. We are identifying as somebody who is a bad person or is not capable. when in reality you very much are and it were just shifting that a bit ⁓ be so, helpful. Britney: Yeah, I feel like so many people, they do feel that guilt when they have moments of weakness, you know, I guess you could call it. But at the same time, I also love how you shared in prior episodes about how you should be able to eat all the foods that you want. The problem is, I think a lot of people, myself included once in a while, is there's like, well, another thing that I like to do, this is a side note, is if I'm looking at something that's kind of, it's not one of my whole foods. It's like, I asked myself, on a scale of one to 10, Where is this for me? If it's a 10, I'm going to enjoy it. If it's a seven, do I really need it? You know, challenge though is if you rip open a bag of Oreos, that's a 10 for me. Now challenge is this is a rare treat. How do I only eat three instead of 10? So in an instance like that, when it comes to like portion control, even when you are enjoying things that are maybe not part of your normal daily routine of eating, Let's talk a little bit about willpower, because that's a big word. guessing that's a word that you try to take out of people's languages, but at the same time, there are these moments when you're like, ⁓ it's just so good, I'm just going to keep eating it. So walk me through a situation like that, and then your thoughts on the world willpower as well. Maria: Yeah. And I love what you said with, ⁓ it's a 10 out of 10. I use this all the time with clients is, know, asking themselves, like, it'll be like a turkey dinner that they're having and just call it, call it that or whatever. It's a holiday. they, they know that there's going to be a whole platter of, of different foods there and only choosing the ones that is a 10 out of 10 for them. but kind of to your point, right? It's like, okay, well, Yeah, for me, it's scotch rhubar is that my mother-in-law makes and I'm like, yes, that is a 10 out of 10. I will eat the whole pan. I will do that. But, you know, also taking a step back and I think in a situation like that, I feel like not all the time, but a lot of times we might be at a social gathering and the food is just out all day. And how do we set some boundaries with ourselves? And Britney: You Mm-hmm. Maria: I think it's one of those things to do some internal reflection of ourselves where we really do need to take that step back and ask ourselves like, what is the long-term goal? ⁓ question that you could ask if you are in that moment, number one, having the awareness alone is huge. Like the fact that you're opening up those Oreos and you're like, okay, I just had three of them. There's however many left. Britney: you Maria: Do I want it? You're like, you want to eat the rest. know, we, we all know like it would be great to have the rest, ⁓ if you can have the awareness right there and ask like, what ⁓ one Oreo? What is like, is that going to make me more happy and more satisfied right now if I eat that Oreo? Because oftentimes in that it's, this is almost a question of like, ⁓ It's the instant gratification. Yes, we want it right now, but what do we really want long term? And I think when you can like really zoom out and ask yourself some of those questions at a very important critical time right then when you're eating, you already ate the three Oreos is starting to like ask those questions so that you can stop yourself potentially. And it's not a bad thing. I mean, if you want the rest of the Oreos, Is it the best for your health? probably not. But ⁓ how are you going to feel if you eat the entire package? And I think the greater thing beyond that, say that you did eat the entire package. Say I have a client that went through this whole thing or they ate the whole entire bag or roll Oreos. They, what they do next matters. So you can't control what just happened because it already happened and it's in the past, but how you view yourself and what you do next is so important. This is where I often see that shift with clients where they're like, shoot, I just ate all of them. I knew what I was doing, but I did it anyways. And it's still that like habitual thing where now they're like, okay, I did that, but I'm going to go for a walk with my kids now and I'm going to go outside and play for a while because my normal thing that I would do I would then go and reach for a bag of chips. And that is something that I will highlight for them as do you see what you did there? You ate whole bag or the whole row of Oreos, but now you you just excuse yourself where normally you would have eaten a thousand more calories, know, 500 more calories and you didn't do that this time. That is a win in highlighting these little things for them so they can start to gain some momentum. Britney: Yeah. No, I love that. think people just having grace with themselves, right? And those moments are so important. I think a lot of people have habits, things that have been created habits, including sugar. mean, sugar can be addicting. And so to kind of break that habit and start getting into a healthier lifestyle, how long would it realistically take, especially working with a coach like you, how long would it realistically take? Maria: That's it. Britney: before you can start to see new habits in your mindset where maybe you're starting to automatically have a little bit better thoughts about yourself and less guilt. Like is this kind of a long journey like it would be for like detoxing yourself from sugar or is this something that like with a coach can happen pretty quickly? What should someone expect? Maria: Yeah. So if you ask a client when they're in it, they're like, Oh, I'm not seeing, I'm not seeing any changes in my mindset. I'm trained to see word patterns, the way that they say things. I'll get on calls with clients occasionally as well, and listen to what they are saying and how they are saying it within three to four weeks. I mean, you can see some positive momentum and different changes happening. But it's also because the questions that I ask, so clients will email me their check-ins, the questions that I ask are of planted so that they're ⁓ looking for things to, example, the gratitude, like gratitude, they every single week will list out three gratitudes. So it's like, It's something throughout their week that they're kind of paying attention to, even though they might not even realize it. It's highlighting some certain things. Britney: What would you say someone could do within their home to help set them up for success? Especially like these are tangible things that you're doing, but they're going to help you with your mindset. So obviously not buying the Oreos in the first place is going to be really helpful. But are there other things that you can do within your home to help make this transition easier as well as getting your like spouse involved or how do you, how do you as the coach get somebody's spouse involved to help be a great support system for this person? Maria: Yeah. So a couple layers with this. First thing I like to think of is what can I do that is putting me in a more healthy state and then in an abundance mindset versus restrict. So you're talking and I think, I do think that it is beneficial for like, okay, maybe not having the Oreos like right in your face all the time. Absolutely. That would be a great thing, but it's, that is still like a little bit of a restriction sort of. tactic. What I like to do is say, okay, how can we manage our day to day and make it easier from, if we're talking about nutrition is okay, we can, a little bit of meal prepping where we can cut up fruits and vegetables and just have them front and center ⁓ our fridge. So they are available as soon as you get home or as soon as you're looking for a snack, you are, you pull open the fridge. ⁓ you open it up and that's the first thing that you see versus maybe something that is a little bit more processed that is normally right front and center. So it's like you're, you're making the things that are very healthy for you and better, easier to, to grab. One thing that I also do to add onto that is that I have a little container every single week that I put all of my vitamins in. I want to make sure every single day that I'm taking my vitamins. So not only do I just always have it sitting out on the counter, I also on my phone have a notification that pops up around like one o'clock. If I hadn't taken them by that time, I know that I've already eaten lunch by then. That's usually I'll eat. I'll have it with vitamins after I have food ⁓ will. do it then and I will not clear that notification off of my phone until until I've taken my supplements for the day. So just little ⁓ strategies make things easier for yourself. And then also, like you said, I do think that there's some benefits to having to including like less of the maybe not so good things right away in your face, making those more difficult. You had mentioned the spouse ⁓ getting them ⁓ too. And I think it can be very difficult to have that conversation. And it depends on where your is mentally with that, because maybe they don't care about dieting. And maybe they, we have to remember that they have their own ⁓ set of beliefs and maybe they've had their own struggles with dieting and stuff in the past and that might not even be a conversation that you've had. So I think that having that conversation and also be open to the fact that they might not be on board with your specific strategy, but maybe they are doing something that works for them. And I think that we also need to honor that. But I do think that having that conversation, it's something that's important to you, having that conversation with them about why it is important to you. I think oftentimes we just say, well, I just want you to do this because I'm doing it. And it's like, that seems very forceful and often doesn't land well for that other person. And instead I'm doing. this for myself, like, is that even something that's important to you? Like, are you interested in maybe joining? And then it seems more inviting. And again, maybe they're not, and we can't blame them for that either, Britney: Yeah, I like that perspective because this really isn't an internal change. So you do want, you're supposed to be on board, especially if you are going to have less Oreos in the house going forward for a bit, you know, but, being supportive, but this really is more internal. I feel like something that a lot of people do struggle with is motivation. and this could be related to nutrition and like eating healthy. This could be related to going to the gym and doing a workout or even just getting out for a walk on a semi chilly day. ⁓ just the motivation to go do it, but this kind of ebbs and flows. Do you feel like that's related to our cycles as women? Do you feel like this is just related to our seasons? Is that normal? Is that something you can overcome through mindset? Let's talk about motivation. Maria: Yeah, talking about cycles specifically, yeah, mean, absolutely. We think about ⁓ ⁓ second half of our cycle, we ⁓ often a little bit lower energy. We ⁓ don't have the drive or ⁓ and there's a little bit of just like internalizing things and not wanting to be super social ⁓ in those of things. And it can absolutely affect motivation. What I usually like to say with that though is I kind of like to flip the script as of thinking of that second part of your phase or the phase of your cycle as that's your baseline saying, you know, this is what my normal is. And then the ⁓ that you feel really great understanding that like you're feeling above average at that point versus I just feel like crap. I'm not motivated in that sort of thing. but with motivation, it can be like a tricky right? Because I think ⁓ oftentimes we look at other people and I'll even myself into that category, right? Like clients see me as someone like, ⁓ my gosh, Maria, you go to the gym, you know, ⁓ this many days a week, you, are like basically living the lifestyle and it's just so easy for you. And I can put my hand in the air, just like any of us who have coached or mentored or done anything in any capacity. And I feel that oftentimes we can so relate to the person that's in the shoes of, for example, not having motivation. I had two children and breastfed ⁓ was pregnant for over four years straight. And just like a month and a half ago was like for the first time, I'm not pregnant and I'm not breastfeeding. And I'm just like, oh my gosh, it feels so great. Right. But I will tell you, there were so many times in the past several years where I did not want to go to the gym. And I do some days I didn't, you know, some it'd be like four days in a row. I'm like, I'm really not feeling it. ⁓ many days I question myself and would say I know that I want as healthy of a pregnancy, for example, as I can have, or I want to set a positive example for my children. And also the dopamine that gets released when you do go and have a workout and do those sorts of things is like the mental health component of that in what is actually what it actually does for your body physically, but also just feeling so good about the fact that you followed through with yourself and were disciplined. And I think that's the bigger word here is, is being disciplined, in times when you don't have motivation, but then also giving yourself grace. If you don't if you really, really are just not feeling up to it is giving yourself that grace and trying again tomorrow. Britney: Yeah. And I think having that long-term thinking of someday I'm going to be in my seventies and I'm going to wish when I was in my twenties, thirties, forties, ⁓ had kept up with things. so even on those days, you know, it's different if you're like sick or something else, but on a day where you're just ⁓ feeling the motivation, it's like, okay, don't think about today, Brittany, think about 60 year old Brittany. And she's going to be really thankful that even if the workout is modified, I still went and I still took time. myself, right? And then you can still feel that in a way. ⁓ Maria: Yeah. And I'll add to that too is sometimes I think that we get really overwhelmed in our minds. I was just talking to a client on the phone the other day, she's been working with me almost a year now, and she was talking about, you know, I'm having issues. Like, I know I need to increase my movement throughout the day and I know that I can do it over my work day. Like, I know that I can take breaks. And I said, Do you think that it's an issue where like you think that you need to take like a 30 minute walk each time? And she's like, absolutely. I feel that I need to just go above and beyond when I'm doing it. And I said, you know what, let's create a goal where three days a week, right now she's not doing it at all. Three days a week, we're gonna get up from our desk and I don't even care where you go. You don't have to go outside. You don't have to do anything. She has multiple floors on at. work and I said, I want you to get up from your desk and take the stairs, go to the bathroom upstairs, and then go down the hallway and take the other stairs down and come back and sit at your desk. Sometimes that five minute movement, and this is what I kind of had mentioned to her, oftentimes when we just get up and decide that we're going to do it, it is so much more easy for us to just continue to do it. And to continue going right it's it's that like getting on the shoes and walking out the door is the hardest part of getting to the gym You know, but once you're there, it's like, okay, and so you don't always have to give a hundred percent Britney: I think that's a really good point because a lot of people have that all-or-nothing mindset where it's like, ⁓ my workout has to be 30 minutes and I need to have a bead of sweat coming down my forehead or it wasn't good enough or my nutrition plan needs to be flawless and I'm only allowed to have one treat per week, you know? And it's like, and then, and that's when I think people fall off their little bandwagons is because they don't have the flexibility in their mindset like we've been talking about to this whole time. I know you've also talked about self-sabotage patterns that you've seen. So what would you say about those? Maria: Yeah. And that's a big one too, right? So it's like, we, we do something that we aren't proud of and we decide that we are just going to continue down the path. And again, I feel like one of the most important parts of this whole thing is the awareness of what is going on in your mind because we can stop that self-sabotage. And the sooner that you can recognize that it's happening, and also just like the patterns around it, when is that self-sabotage happening? Are you alone? Are you often with other people? Did you have a very stressful event that happened leading up to that? Was it an hour before? ⁓ it two hours? like what is going on? Is it maybe a procrastination tactic? I can tell you like that's that was me anytime that I would have like a project or something to do like 15 minutes before I'd be like, ⁓ okay, I got to go eat something quick. And it was, I honestly do believe that it's this physiological switch, like I'm having this sort of adrenaline and these this rush of hormones throughout my body. And I'm associating that with eating because that's always the habit that I have that I have pulled myself into. And once I was able to recognize like, ⁓ this is the time. This is what's going on. I'm like having that trigger to go to the pantry and have something that like, you know, 200 calories worth of food that I don't even that aren't like nutritional rich nutritionally valuable to me. And starting to recognize some of those things and starting to create a new habit when that happens. And then deciding again, what I'd said earlier is like, what are you going to do next? If you did, if that situation did happen, what will you do next after that? And deciding like that is the time when you are going to stop. even then that's a win because it's better than what you would have been, what you would have done previously. Britney: love how you talked about multiple just little things that people can do in their homes or just little statements that they can say to themselves or stop saying to themselves in different ways. And I've also heard about people for those who are really struggling with the restriction side of things specifically around nutrition, ⁓ focusing on what can you add in? Because if you're adding in more greens or more healthy fats or more protein, then you like you don't have the space. ⁓ on your plate for the rest of the things that maybe would not be as beneficial for your body. And I think the other thing about nutrition that gets so tricky for people and why we have to have this conversation in the first place is because we create these food addictions like we talked about with sugar specifically or just honestly the addiction of trying to fit in with society. And food is the only addiction that you still have to participate in. because with gambling or smoking or other types of addictions, it's like you can seek help and like not do it anymore at all is the goal, right? Like once for alcoholics, if they stop drinking alcohol, they can't drink a drop. Otherwise they could get back into rebound. Well, with food, you still have to consume it. And so this is where we do have to, all of us create this healthy mindset around it because it's something that is part of our everyday lives. This was a really great episode. Thank you for sharing so many tips about mindset in general. Do you have any last words of advice around mindset for people listening? Maria: You know, I think I always come back to yourself grace ⁓ that in and of itself can just help your nervous system so much, you know, and I think that ⁓ often we're out of line and just don't understand how hard we are on ourselves. And often, ⁓ like we don't, we don't give ourselves enough credit for what we're doing right in the second that we can start recognizing what we're doing right. That's when things start to change. Britney: I think for anyone who ⁓ been struggling with mindset, your coaching program would be a really great thing to look into for them. Maria is offering a free consult a hundred dollars off a 12 month coaching package. So if you are interested in getting some help in this arena, she is amazing as you've been learning and you can definitely reach out to her to take advantage of that. We are going to have one more episode. We focused a lot in these first three episodes about the struggles that we're really living with. But in this last episode, I'd really love to shift our focus a little bit to just like living a joy filled, healthy life. Like what can that look like? What do our plates look like? What do workouts look like just to like take care of our bodies so that when we get to be older, we can feel good, right? Even though we're in older age. So I'm really excited about this next episode. have a ton of questions prepared for you, Maria. So we're going to have a great one for the last one as well. Maria: forward to it.