Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 179. ⛪Triggers, Traditions & Transformation: Reinventing Christmas on Your Terms

Transcript

179. ⛪Triggers, Traditions & Transformation: Reinventing Christmas on Your Terms · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apologie production, She Rises, Twelve Days of Christmas.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Good morning and afternoon, Good evening, everybody. I can't believe
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: we're at day nine. Welcome to Twelve Days of Christmas
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: with ashing Tiana at She Rises. We are diving deep.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: We're in silly, ridiculous outfits. If you can see us,
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: we've got huge Sanda hats on. But we're talking about
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: things that are very important, very serious, very deep. And
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: it's a chance for you to have your glove before
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Christmas Day and really take some accountability as to how
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: you're showing up in life, what's happening in your life,
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: in your family, what you want your Christmas to look like,
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: and overall, just be your most authentic self ever before
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: you go into twenty twenty.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Six, Beautifully said.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Beautifully said.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: Today's episode is called Trigger's Traditions and Transformation, Reinventing Christmas
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: on your Terms.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: I absolutely love this because it really does get to
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: be exactly how you want it to be. And growing up,
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: I always was quite envious and jealous of my friends
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: that had these family traditions where they all won matching pajamas,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: or they just had something they did on Christmas Eve.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Late when I looked at the Christmas light looking and
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: I said, when I have kids, I really want to
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: create some traditions that they remember, and they always like
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: every year that's what we do, and so we've got
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: a couple of ones. We always look at the Christmas lights.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: It's just streak up the coast and it's just beautiful
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: to go look at those. Every year, Taj and I
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: go buy all the stuff to make Rocky Road. We
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: make two different types, and eastirs it all and melts alone.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: It's just our fun little thing we do together. Tyler
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: will probably want to be involved this year. And then
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: we also get out a mattress and put in the
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: lound room and we all sleep over there on not
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Christmas Eve because we want them in their bed so
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Santa can come, right, but Christmas Eve eve the night before,
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: so we watched The Green and So Christmas movies and
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: we just lay on the bed together in the lound
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: room and have a camp out. Oh that's so fun,
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: so fun. And Taj just talks about it months leading up.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: He's like, come, I do we get the mattress out
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: and that's just like a little thing that we do,
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: and much in pajamas.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: That's cool memory.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so beautiful. The matching pajamas are a little
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: bit cringe, but it's just fun. It's just cute.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: I love the matching pajamas, so I can tell. Yeah,
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: it was obviously my idea.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: So it's really empowering for me as a grown woman
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: now because I feel like that in a child, that
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: little girl and me who always wanted that, gets to
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: create that now with my own family, and I absolutely
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: love it. It's so fun. I just want to build
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: those memories where the kids look back and they then
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: carried on with their family as well, like we always
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: had matching pajamas and this is what we did, so
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: like we want to keep doing that.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: Oh, I love it. I think like Christmas is such
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: a cool time. You know, whether you've had a good
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: or a bad experience, it's an opportunity for you to
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: change the way that things have always been, you know,
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: and like what you just did, Like you didn't have
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: the best experience growing up, a Christmas wasn't always like
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: the best time of year for you, but you've made
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: it your own. Like that's a beautiful part of Christmas
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: because these new traditions what you used to have it.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Ends with you.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: Your new ones get to be about you and your
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: family and what you want to create for the kids.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: And also, like what you said, like you're inner child
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: gets to come out too. It's to be about fun
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: and play and kids.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: I just even like as an adult, like I love it.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: I think it's such a cool time of year. And granted,
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: don't get me wrong, like there have definitely been Christmases
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: and I don't know if any of you can relate
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: to this, I'm sure you will. Sometimes you're lonely in
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: life and it feels like heavy right, especially when Christmas
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: comes around, because it's in your face. You can't hide.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: It's the time of year where everyone goes and guides
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: away it does airy thing with their family. And if
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: you aren't in that stage of your life and you're
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: overseas or you're by yourself, we don't have anybody around,
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: it's really confronting. Or maybe you're even somebody who's disconnected
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: from the people that are around you, so you're surrounded
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: by people, but you feel so alone.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the worst feeling. It is the worst.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: So it's like it doesn't matter what your situation is.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: I think Christmas can be a really confronting time, but
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: it doesn't have to stay like that.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: I think we always get a choice in how we
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: reinvent the things that we go through. And like, the
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: biggest lesson I've learned in my life has been, if
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: I want to heal something, I allow either new people
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: in or new experiences in in its place to heal
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: the wound that existed.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Beautiful, And I think.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: That kind of relates to Christmas. It's like, yeah, sure,
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: there have been times in my life where I've may
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: have been surrounded by people and felt super lonely, But
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: does that have to be the way that it goes
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: moving forward? What does that look like? That gets to
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: be like for me creating memories we chosen family. We
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: just spoke about this on a previous Twelve Days of
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Christmas episode where we're going to combine our Christmas because
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: we want to spend time together, and like, you know,
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: it gets to be something beautiful we get to now
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: recreate as a tradition that I imagine will be something
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: we do long into the future.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: It's so freaking cool, so beautiful. Yeah, another thing too,
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Like growing up, I was always quite jealous of people
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: that have really big families, because I always wanted that.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: My family felt so disjointed and we didn't get along
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: and it just wasn't a safe, nice place. So as
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: i've grown now, and I said this in a previous episode,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: my house has been the house everyone comes to. I've
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: chosen my family, like I've chosen my friends and get
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: to come in and we get to celebrate and be together,
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: and you get to make it your own. Absolutely. I've
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: even got a girlfriend this year and she's like, oh
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: my gosh, like I've got no one here for Christmas
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: because her family's going away and they're in different states
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: and her mum's overseas, And I said, what are you
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: going to do?
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: Come over?
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: And she goes, I'm just going to bounce everywhere. I've
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: got your house and Dean's house, Tower's house, and she's
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: got like five differ people. I'm gonna go visit everyone
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: that's so get to like experience everyone's Christmas and everyone's joy,
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: and that seems like really fun. I was like, fuck,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: that's cool.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: I think it's such a beautiful thing as well, Like
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: if you don't have family accessible, or you're in different
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: states or even in different countries. How beautiful is it
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: that you get to lean on your chosen family.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so special. No, and most people are very
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: welcomed in, Like we always just welcome anyone in. I
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: think people want it's like the more the merrier.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Yes, you know, definitely, It's like upper Christmas, isn't it.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's beautiful. Also if you find Christmas can be
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: a little bit overwhelming, I know, especially for introverts or
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: if you're not used to being around a lot of people,
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: it is quite a big energy out day. Just know
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: how you start the day really will have like a
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: role on effect. So for me Christmas it is a
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: lot it's a big energy out day. I still make
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: sure I go for my morning walks. I once who've
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: opened the presents, whatever, I just we all just go
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: grab the pram, take the dog, go up and down
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: the street, just to move our body for the day.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Or last year, I just like got out of matt
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: and did a yoga thing on the TV. I still
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: got movement in and still had time in the sunshine,
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: and just found little pockets of time to keep myself
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: nice and calm and regulated so I could still give
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: the energy out. I wanted. So just even though Christmas
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: is hectic, you can still start your day off on
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: the right football doing something for you. I really encourage that.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: I do like that.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: I actually realized that I go to the gym on
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: Christmas morning.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Oh they go.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, usually never many people in there, But for the
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: last like at least three Christmases, I've gone to the
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: gym on Christmas morning because it does like what you
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: just said, it it's a really beautiful way to start
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: the day. And also as well, I think for me
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: as well, even though the seasons are happening and all
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: these new things are happening, it still feels like a
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: part of my routine. Yeah, Kean, It's something that I'd
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: love to do. I don't go to the gym because
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: I hate it, and I.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Makes you feel good.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: It makes me feel good. It gives me energy. So,
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: like what you said, I think that's a really beautiful
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: way to even start your own solo tradition. Yes, of
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: what you get to make Christmas like or the Holidays like,
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: and then have your own traditions with yourself and then
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: create new traditions with the people around you as well.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: Like you get to make your own rules We don't
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: have to settle for this rule book, this invisible rule
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: book that someone else has made up along the way
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: of how Christmas Day has to be, how it has
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: to look, how it has to feel, who you have
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: to be with, Throw that rule book out, return to Cender.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Make your own. I would school as well. Even if
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: your family are maybe like not souper into the Christmas spirit,
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: but you are, play some damn Christmas Carol, Yes, make it.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: Find some remixes that you are like that they might enjoy, Like,
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: be willing to think outside of the box when it
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: comes to this, because if you don't try the things
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: that you like, you're never gonna know what can become
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: a Christmas tradition. Like I've mentioned this previously as well,
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: Like I watched my dad, you know, and family members
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: play Christmas games, and now I'm like, I want to
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: do Christmas games every year? Yeah, you know, Like could
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: that be a tradition that I create with my family
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: to really get them out of their comfort zone and
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: instead of Christmas being like, oh, we just sit and
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: talk and eat food and cook and clean and that,
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: it's like no, let's play, Yeah, let's play have fun?
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: Like who said that Christmas Day has to be so serious,
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: so true.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: I have to love that and bring your joy into
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: it more fun. Yeah, that's every day, not just Christmas Day? Right,
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Why don't we do that every single day? Absolutely?
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: And I think with Christmas it's like it's a one
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: opportunity where you likely have all the people that you
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: love in one room.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Isn't it sad that it takes like a Christmas Day
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: or a funeral to bring everyone together?
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it is sad.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: We like need to do this more often, bring the
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: people that you love around. But it's special that you've
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: got that un locked in day every single year. Yeah,
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: you do get to get it run together. You want
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: to make the most of.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: It, gonna make it the best.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: There's something that my mum has always wanted to do
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: actually as a family, but we've never gotten around to doing.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: And this is something we've spoken about. It's like she's
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: always wanted us to take us to like a soup
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: kitchen or like somewhere where we can go and like,
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: you know, feed people who are less for time, yeah,
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: or anyone who like doesn't have a home over Christmas
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: and needs a little bit extra support. I've always wanted
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: to go and do that. And actually now I both
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: recently had this conversation of how we would love to
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: go like visit children's hospitals over the Christmas period and
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: like hand out gifts presence.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, whether it's with us, so we do it ourselves,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: because just as the build a bear for the Lunar Foundation,
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: the nic Pre Foundation, or yeah I did it about
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: ten years ago, just when I brought a bunch of
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: toys from like BW somewhere and gave them out at
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: the children's hospital dress up as fairies. We thought we
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: could dress up as else absolutely and then like to
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: volunteer at a soup kitchen or something would be so
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: cooln I'd love to take Targe as well. I remember
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: be saying that I think it's really important for our
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: younger generation to see that, you know how blessed you
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: are to have a roof over your head and food
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: on the table on Christmas Day, but every single day,
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: and you know, most people are just wanting to have
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: a conversation, to be seen and to have a full
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: belly and to feel warm and cozy. And it's so
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: nice that you can go and volunteer your time and
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: energy to give to those that don't have anyone or anything.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, and I imagine like if I put myself in
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: their position, I would want to hope that there would
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: be people kind enough out there to like, yeah, enough
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: that I was in the position that I was in.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: We need to look that in. Yeah, it's like Boxing day,
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Christmas Day, Christmas Eve something or we go and volunteer
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: our time. It's still beautiful.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: If anybody wants to come, let us know.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: Yes, ALRIGHTI thanks for joining us, little short one. A
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: nice bite sized piece for you. But I hope you're
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: having an amazing day and you're enjoying this series. If
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: you've missed any, go back and listen to them. We've
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: got Yeah, this is our ninth one, so Day ten
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: is happening tomorrow. We'll see you then, Bye bye