Latest / Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor / Mojo Monday - Are You Enough? The Balance Between Acceptance and Growth with Carly Taylor
Transcript
- 0:08Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, Carly Taylor here for this week's Mojo Monday.
- 0:13Speaker 1: So lately I've been reflecting on the power of language.
- 0:17Speaker 1: I've been thinking about certain words that we use in
- 0:20Speaker 1: the English language and how these words that we choose
- 0:25Speaker 1: can really shape our reality. And there's something really fascinating
- 0:29Speaker 1: about how some languages have expressions or words that we
- 0:33Speaker 1: don't even have in English. So, for example, in Japanese,
- 0:37Speaker 1: there's a word agi ottori hope I've pronounced that right,
- 0:42Speaker 1: which describes the feeling you get after a bad haircut.
- 0:46Speaker 1: So imagine that having a word for such a specific experience,
- 0:52Speaker 1: and it makes me wonder what feelings or concepts that
- 0:57Speaker 1: we're missing out on simply because we don't have the
- 1:00Speaker 1: language to describe them. And this morning I went to
- 1:05Speaker 1: yoga and my yoga instructor talked about this balance between
- 1:10Speaker 1: intentional growth and embracing the present moment, and that got
- 1:15Speaker 1: me thinking about a phrase that I hear a lot,
- 1:19Speaker 1: and that is I am enough. It's a mantra that's
- 1:23Speaker 1: always made me kind of stop and reflect what that
- 1:27Speaker 1: actually means. So let's break it down. The word enough
- 1:33Speaker 1: I looked up and it means as much or as
- 1:36Speaker 1: many as required. So when I ask my kids if
- 1:40Speaker 1: they've had enough dinner, what I'm really asking is are
- 1:44Speaker 1: you full? Do you need more? So it's a question
- 1:48Speaker 1: that implies a limit, like you've reached a point where
- 1:52Speaker 1: no more is needed. But when we say the mantra
- 1:57Speaker 1: I am enough, we're usually aiming for some deeper than that.
- 2:01Speaker 1: It's about recognizing our worth and accepting that in this moment,
- 2:05Speaker 1: we are valuable and we are deserving of love just
- 2:09Speaker 1: as we are. And I get that, and it's very comforting,
- 2:13Speaker 1: But I still wonder if you don't know the deeper
- 2:16Speaker 1: meaning of I am enough? Is enough really the right
- 2:21Speaker 1: word to use for this? And what troubles me about
- 2:25Speaker 1: this phrase is that it can be interpreted as a
- 2:29Speaker 1: reason to stop trying. So if I tell myself I
- 2:32Speaker 1: am enough, does that mean I don't need to change,
- 2:35Speaker 1: I don't need to grow or push myself anymore? And
- 2:39Speaker 1: for some people, this phrase might give them permission to
- 2:42Speaker 1: resist the discomfort of personal growth, to stop them moving
- 2:46Speaker 1: forward because they believe they've already arrived. And on the
- 2:50Speaker 1: flip side of this, many of us, myself included, are
- 2:54Speaker 1: constantly striving, so we're always chasing improvement, working towards goals,
- 2:59Speaker 1: pursuing a future that feels, you know, like it's just
- 3:02Speaker 1: out of reach. But we're working towards the future. So
- 3:06Speaker 1: when all our energy is focus on what's next, what's next,
- 3:09Speaker 1: what's next, we can lose sight of the present moment.
- 3:13Speaker 1: So if you're always focused on the future, you can
- 3:16Speaker 1: miss out on what's happening right now. So take this example.
- 3:22Speaker 1: If you're unhappy with your weight and filled with self loathing,
- 3:26Speaker 1: it's really hard to be content with your life in
- 3:29Speaker 1: the present moment. So you might try and tell yourself
- 3:33Speaker 1: I am enough. But if that doesn't feel true, or
- 3:37Speaker 1: if it becomes an excuse not to make changes, it
- 3:40Speaker 1: might leave you stuck in the same discomfort. So looking
- 3:44Speaker 1: at those two perspectives, there's a balance we need to find.
- 3:49Speaker 1: On one side, we need to stop resisting. What is
- 3:54Speaker 1: this means acknowledging the reality of who we are right now,
- 3:59Speaker 1: even if it's not where you want to be. It's
- 4:02Speaker 1: not about liking everything or being complacent, but about releasing
- 4:06Speaker 1: the struggle against the present. So when you stop resisting,
- 4:11Speaker 1: then you can make space to breathe, to see things
- 4:14Speaker 1: as they are. But that doesn't mean you don't keep
- 4:17Speaker 1: moving forward. On the other side, there's intentional growth, the
- 4:23Speaker 1: small steady steps you take each day to grow, evolve
- 4:27Speaker 1: and shape your life even if there's no final destination.
- 4:32Speaker 1: And now that I've delved into this, it really circles
- 4:37Speaker 1: back to that Japanese phrase that I mentioned so often,
- 4:41Speaker 1: and that is augamama with things as they are, what
- 4:45Speaker 1: needs to be done, and this Japanese concept, which is
- 4:49Speaker 1: really an experience rather than a word, but it is
- 4:55Speaker 1: something that I keep in my back pocket for every
- 4:58Speaker 1: single day in how I live my life because I
- 5:01Speaker 1: find it more helpful to think about letting go of
- 5:05Speaker 1: resistance rather than telling myself I am enough. So when
- 5:10Speaker 1: you stop fighting reality, you can see it clearly and
- 5:14Speaker 1: from there you can decide what to do next. And
- 5:18Speaker 1: there's no full stop, no static endpoint. Instead, it's about
- 5:23Speaker 1: continuing to grow while also being okay with where you
- 5:27Speaker 1: are right now, so you can accept this in your
- 5:30Speaker 1: current situation but still commit to progress. And as I
- 5:35Speaker 1: said earlier, there's no end goal here. We're never exonerated
- 5:39Speaker 1: from this work of living a rich and meaningful life.
- 5:43Speaker 1: So if we can stop resisting what is be present
- 5:46Speaker 1: with where you are, live with intention and keep moving
- 5:50Speaker 1: forward step by step. Thank you so much for joining
- 5:54Speaker 1: me on this week's My Joy Monday. I hope you
- 5:56Speaker 1: will have a great week and I will catch you
- 5:58Speaker 1: next week