Latest / Heal Yourself Podcast / Episode 41: Courageous Steps Toward Fully Embracing Life With Marcy Neumann

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Episode 41: Courageous Steps Toward Fully Embracing Life With Marcy Neumann · Heal Yourself Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I'm Denise, a speech-language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we are here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind and soul.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: From the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even transforming your money story.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: We're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: So, whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Heal Yourself podcast.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: I'm one of your hosts.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Kira Denise could not be with us today, but I do have a special guest for you and her name is Marci.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: So before I bring her on, let me introduce you all to her.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: So her name is Marci Newman.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: She's an energy specialist, an intuitive life coach, spiritualist, minister, rn and certified hypnotherapist specializing in past life regression.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: As a published author, creator of award-winning manifestation products, tv host of Live with Marci and Amy, the Heart-Centered Women podcast, host of the High-Vide Tribe, host and creator of Parenting in an Upside-Down World and founder of Self-Love University, she's a sought-after speaker and teacher.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: I love all these accolades.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: For over 50 years leading women everywhere to heal their hearts and create self-love for fulfillment, health and success.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Love it.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Welcome, marci.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: I'm thrilled to be here with you, cara, and yeah, just to dive into you know what is my most favorite subject to speak about?
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Self-love my most favorite subject, to speak about self-love and it's funny, denise and I talk about this a lot and for me, I'm not a self-love coach, I'm a naturopath, I'm a nutritionist but I tell my clients, self-love is always the starting point for healing.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: We can't make the best decisions decisions I can't speak today for ourselves if we don't love ourselves.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: Exactly right.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: And we also don't have access to the information about ourselves until we start to love ourselves.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: So it's really, you know, I mean what we're looking at is the missing piece to what I consider to be healing.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: You know, our drive is always to come to know ourselves, right to be this authentic, greatest expression of self.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: And so if we don't have access to that because we're consumed by self loathing, self-hatred, then what happens to that driving force within us?
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: It withers and dies, or it feels like it's withering and dying, and I experienced it personally.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: And so that's how I came upon my journey of recognizing that self-love is really the key.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: It's the key to having it all, and it sounds so trite, but it's so true it is.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: I'm curious too, because most of us get into what we're in in the healing space because of our own journey.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: So that's what I was going to ask how did you get to that point?
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Because most of us don't come out of the womb and live our whole lives thinking gosh, I really love myself.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: Nor are we fostered in doing so.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: So for me it sort of it happened in a number of ways, but I think I had a turning point for myself and this is actually a personal epiphany that happened, and then I'll tell you what unfolded from that point.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: But I was out in Montana for a family wedding and at the same time I was out there with all my four kids.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: We were also celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary, and so there was a lot of celebration going on and you know, it was just this wonderful time in our lives and I remember so I've always had this affinity for Native American right.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: And so I'm at this party and I look out into the backyard.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: Here's this authentic teepee.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: Well, I couldn't contain myself.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: So as soon as I was able, I sort of cropped out of the party, waited until it was dark and I went out into the teepee.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: And I remember standing in that teepee and like feeling I was starting to have this sort of cosmic experience and that I felt this energy moving and I pulled back the ceiling flaps and it was like the night sky was just filling it and I decided, okay, so I just laid down on the rugs that were there and I started to think about my life, kara and I'm you.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: I was living the most idyllic life.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: We had everything and anything anybody could ever want.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: My kids were all happy and healthy and well on their way to living their own lives, and just everything was in alignment.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: And I started to just make this mental like very lengthy gratitude list.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: I'm so grateful for this, I'm so grateful for that.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: All of a sudden, like a ticker tape across my mind's eye, it says how much longer do I have to do this, lord?
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: I bolted up right, I broke out into a sweat and I jumped out of the teepee and I vomited in the bushes.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: I had this very deep reaction to that, first off, in a total state of shock.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: Right, where did that come from?
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: Number one, number two, I started to realize.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: In that moment I was entrenched in this feeling of shame, guilt and dread, like what the heck?
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: What?
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: What was that and what's going to happen?
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: I could feel this dread inside of me and I went back to New York afterwards and really thought you know so much about the fact of you know like I remember being so aware.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: The entire weekend, kara, I was shrunken down.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: I was trying to prevent anyone from looking in my eyes.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: I was so afraid that they would see that I had had this thought like, who was I to ask for more?
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: Right, I had everything.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: I was the envy of so many women I knew.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: And as I went home and tried to like filter through all of this stuff, it was impossible.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: And so what did I do?
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: I started to just sweep it under the rug and just tried to ignore it, but it wouldn't have it.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: It just kept coming up and up and up and the feeling got, you know, deeper and stronger, and so I reached out to this wonderful women's therapist who worked with women in transition.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: I didn't see myself as being in transition, but she was the only number I had and so I reached out to her, and before long, it was so evident that the depth of my unhappiness that I was living was something that I'd also been sweeping under the rug for so long.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: And the truth of the matter was, as much as I was celebrating 25 years of marriage, I was so unhappy in it Now living an idyllic life and having everything you want and being happy being a mother and, in some parts, being a wife you want, and being happy being a mother and, in some parts, being a wife.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: Um, you know, it just seemed to take me from day to day, event to event.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: I have a color-coded calendar.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: You know the whole thing.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: But when that realization came forward and I allowed myself to see it as it really was not how I wanted it to be, not how I portrayed it to be, this picture of perfection everything started to fall apart.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: I could not contain any longer the energy that had been really like just working so hard to get to the surface that I had kept putting like little band-aids on, hoping to placate those voices right.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: Well, a year, almost to the day of that event in the teepee, I was asking my husband for a divorce and what it required was that I not just get divorced but that I leave my home, my community, much of my family, my job, my friends, like the entire life that I had worked so hard to create, and what I thought defined me was what I needed to leave behind.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Because not one of them was going to accept this new me and I had done such a fabulous job, I always pat myself on the shoulder about that about, you know, just doing such an incredible job of living up to other people's criteria and expectations and creating the life that made them happy, but in the meantime it had swallowed me whole.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: So when this happened, I eventually so left my marital home and moved into a home with my youngest son, and at the time I had been experiencing a number of medical conditions that I just brushed off, swept them under the rug, deciding they were all part of just normal aging, right?
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: So I'm telling you, kara, I had pain in my hips that was so severe that I remember lying in bed at night and like whimpering, crying, but I couldn't allow my husband to hear it.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember having panic attacks Well, I'm not going to say panic attacks because at the time I didn't know they were but I had recurrent dreams where I would wake up in this sweat and I'd be, you know, like ripping things apart because I couldn't find my wedding ring.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: I had digestive issues, never left the house without Tums.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: I had such constant headaches, again living on Advil, and after about maybe three or four, maybe five months of being out of that environment environment I remember I was sitting at my desk one morning and the doorbell rang and I just leapt out of my chair and went to answer the door.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: And I'm standing there and all of a sudden I got the same rush of knowingness.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: I had just leapt out of my chair and when the person who was at my door left, I just stood there back against the door and said, oh my God, I haven't had any pain in my hips Once, I haven't had a headache, I haven't had digestive issues, I have God bumps.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: As I'm talking, I haven't had any of those symptoms that had been really plaguing me for a long time.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: And I remember just standing up against that door and just weeping, weeping with such gratitude.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: And that was when I started to like really sort of put that hindsight to work for me and I started.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: Well, what did you do differently?
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: Let's see, I, you know, had already been for years and years a healer.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: I was a Reiki master, I was a vegetarian, I say.
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: I was a card-carrying PTA member.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: I was everything right.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: So what had I done differently?
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: And that was when I realized the only thing that I had done is that I had allowed myself to love myself in a way I had never, ever allowed before.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: It's such a beautiful story but at the same time, I feel like everyone listening is going to resonate with that, because we all do it in different ways, obviously, but we're constantly living our lives for other people.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: We don't ask ourselves enough.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: What do I want?
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: What would bring me an abundance of joy and happiness?
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: It's no, I've got to do this, I've got to do that.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: I've got to get the kids over here.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: I've got to make dinner, I've got to.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, my husband wants to do this.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: That's not living, that's right.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: And then we expect our bodies to thrive.
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, and you know it's that denial of self.
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: You know that is so deep.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: We are so programmed to live in that paradigm and I think, particularly as women, right where, and everything that we do, it's always about putting other people first, and you know, then there becomes this competition about, well, how good of a job did you do that and how you know the whole martyr thing that women so often wear.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: And you know, and when we are brought to these situations that literally bring us to our knees, we have a choice to make and we can do as I did for a long time and sweep it under the rug and bear the consequences of that.
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: Like I'm going to tell you something, Kara when I left, I felt like I was lost.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: I had been feeling my spirit dying for so long.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: I felt like I was saving my own life, Like I had no other choice, and when I finally made that pivot and I started to create that life as you were just describing, all right, I realized how I could make the decisions now.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: I realized how I could make the decisions now were the decisions that were going to enhance my life, and so I started to simply ask does this feed my spirit.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: I said does this feed my spirit?
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: And all the people who left my life, and all the circumstances and situations, and, you know, idealism and all of that, it was okay.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: I really came to this place of having compassion for them and knowing their time would come as well.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: It happens to all of us, and so what I think the real message is is that, as you said, you know, we come to this place right where we must make the choice, but that choice has got to be in the recognition that not only is it for our highest good, but it's for also the highest good of all those that we love.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: Even though it's not going to look like that and it's not going to feel like that initially, and it's not going to feel like that initially, what is there is the essence of our true nature that is clamoring to get to the surface so that we can live in our purpose, so that we can live a fulfilled life, so that we can be everything that we came here to be.
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: And I can tell you that I had the most extraordinary experience, because once I did that and once I started to really put my heart in the center of my world, it was almost as if the universe laid itself at my feet.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: I mean everything all these doors that I couldn't even imagine just started flying open, and all these invitations, and it's been 20 years now.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: I have never looked back.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: I am not going to tell you that it's always been easy.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: I've cried many, many tears, had to pick myself up off the ground many times because that voice who do you think you are?
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, to ask for more.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: You know what about that person?
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: What about your kids?
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: What about this?
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: What about that?
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: But the universe has carried me with wings and I'm here today speaking with you, speaking to our audience, because of that, and so it's why I have put self-love as the complete focus of everything that I do and create, because I know that it is absolutely essential.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I tend to ask loaded questions.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Please For our listeners.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: How does someone start to cultivate self love?
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: So I think that the first thing is to just accept that this really is your purpose in life.
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: Your purpose in life and this might be, you know, a little difficult for some people to accept in this moment, but I promise you, if you will continue to pursue this, you will come to a place of complete understanding and acceptance.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: But I believe that our journey here is to bring us into our own divinity.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: It's to bring us to the point where we start to recognize that we truly are the creators of our lives.
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: And as we climb that scale of that love frequency which is the creative force of all things, the higher the frequency, the more adept we are in number one, accessing the information that we need.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: Number two, in creating what truly is for the highest good for ourselves and for others.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: And so cultivating this awareness of when you are shrinking down as opposed to being all in, that's your first key.
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: Whenever we shrink down, it is the result of programming, it's the result of that.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: You know, ego's favorite playground the shame, the guilt.
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: I'm not enough, I'm not lovable, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not funny enough, I'm not smart enough.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: All of that, stuff Right, stuff right.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: And so, when we start to discern those energies.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: Your higher self will always call you forward and it'll whisper follow me.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: We like to ignore those whispers yeah exactly, I was really good at it.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: And the ego is loud and clamoring and shouting and, you know, produces all these smoke screens and distractions that we are meant to really just be consciously aware of, be very present in our own lives so that we remember that we always have the choice to follow the whisper.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: But it means that we have to learn how to shut out, you know, the voice of the ego.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: That's where the band-aids belong.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: That's what we need to quiet down, not from a place of disgust or anger, but a place of love.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: You know, in its own consciousness it thinks it's, you know, saving us right from sure destruction coming out from behind the couch.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: You know it's too unsafe, you can't do that this is where bravery comes in this is exactly right, it's not easy to listen to those whispers.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: It's so much easier to say no, no, no, we're not going there yeah, that's right, 100%.
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: So we learn to discern the voices.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: But again, we have to accept this is our purpose in life.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: And number two, that in cultivating that level of awareness comes another level of responsibility, and that responsibility is always first to ourselves as the divine being that we are understand.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: That self-love is going to take you out of your comfort zone a hundred percent, a hundred percent.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: So we need to get accustomed to being at that precipice of oh yeah, this is scary, yes, it is, but it's not scary because you don't have the capability.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: It's only scary because you've had the ego clamoring in your head all those years telling you you can't do it, and you don't have memory in that moment of being your divine self.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: But here's what I promise each and every person, and that is that in that moment you need to trust that all of this is true and all of this is happening in our favor.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: You are not being tested.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: You are being invited to step forward into yourself.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: But my promise to you is is that that trust is a temporary necessity.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: Once you step over that threshold and the universe is right there, you will have all of the evidence in the world that you possibly need.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: And trust, then is that temporary energy that will help to take you over the threshold?
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: if you will say yes, so go out there and say yes, just say yes.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: Oh well, for those that are interested in, I don't know if you work with clients or what it looks like, but what does that look like and how do they find you?
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: My website is Marci Newman dot com M-A-R-C-Y-N-E-U-M-A-N-N.
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: Also, you can always email me, marci, at Heart Shift Coach dot com.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: I also have another website, self Love University dot com, and there are loads of programs on there to help you on your way.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: I also have another website, selfloveuniversitycom, and there are loads of programs on there to help you on your way, and all I know is that when you are looking for the support that you need, you will find that person, and what I have found is that the people who have come to me are just a perfect jelly right.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: It's that person who's really ready to be courageous, to step over the threshold and know that I'm there to hold your hand and your heart every step along the way, to hold your hand and your heart every step along the way and to know again not only do you have all of this within you already, that there will be a day where you won't even need to be courageous.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: It becomes a way of life, and that's what my quest is really to help people to build a self-love lifestyle, so that there's the path for you.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: Wonderful, well, and you have a free e-book too, don't you?
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: I do?
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: Okay and yeah, and so important Because, as you said, kara, I mean, we're constantly living.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: You know that life, that the ego right, exactly.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: So what we don't recognize so often is how it's sabotaging not just our efforts to have fulfillment and happiness and health, but in sabotaging the efforts, it also sabotages our hopes and we lose the hope of having a better life.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: And so I've written an e-book and it's how to shift from self-sabotage to self-love in five days.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: It's all in the recognition.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, yay, I'm going to read it.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: This is all going to be in the show notes.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: You guys, any way to contact her?
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: The link to the ebook, all of that will be in there.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, and one more thing I have.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: I'm there every single day, offering support and inspiration is, and so are so many other people, and they're all on the same quest, the same journey and, by the way, it's my journey too.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're never done, denise and I always talk about that.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no yeah.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: Please join me there.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you so much.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: This was such a lovely episode and I say this every time, but something everyone needs to hear.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: So thank you so much and I look forward to next time.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: Bye, bye, everyone.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: All right, bye bye you guys, bye, bye.